My boyfriend hates to cuddle?

[Anonymous]

The only intimacy we have in our relationship is sex and afterwards he just turns around and goes to sleep. I have talked to him about this and told him I would like to cuddle sometimes.. After sex or just some other time. He always gets frustrated when I ask for it or try to snuggle up to him and says I'm acting like a needy bitch. Last time I tried to get close to him in that way he literally shoved me away. I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to but all I'm asking is 15 minutes. The lack of him holding, hugging or caressing me for some reason makes me feel very unloved.

[PhoenixRisingDK]

What most women doesn't seem to know, is that when a man orgasms, shortly afterwards a biochemical reaction in the brain makes him want to detach himself from the woman.

This is beyond control, and has nothing to do with you.
Though he could probably be less aggressive about it.
This usually goes away within 15-30 minutes, at which point he probably wouldn't mind cuddling if not for the fact that he was asleep (the drowsiness is caused by another biochemical reaction).

You could try not having sex around bedtime before going to sleep, but earlier in the day where energy levels are higher... which would prevent him from being tired enough to go to sleep.
And then he should just fight the urge for detachment, hold you and relax.
You don't even have to talk... just relax...

Any way, you should talk to him about how you feel about this... at a time NOT right before or after having sex.
If he loves you, which I'm sure he does... he would be willing to listen.

[Anonymous]

He might just be stressed with work or something, or he may just like to do his own thing. My last girlfriend liked to cuddle after sex and in the morning, also with carresing her body slowly. I thought it cute, so I wouldn't say your asking for much.

[bombamboum]

Not every men cuddle after sex but your boyfriend is kind of extreme.
I know from experience, my boyfriend isn't really into cuddling after sex. Though, we talked about it and he tries to stay a little (maybe five minutes. it's not a lot but it's something.
I think yours is extreme because he insults you and physically reject you. At this point, it's beyond the "no cuddles" situation. It's the fact that he doesn't care about emotionally hurting you. You don't call your girlfriend a needy bitch and you don't shover her away.

I this point, I would say he doesn't really care about you or your feelings and that's not how relationships work

[Sara413]

Sounds like he is not just inconsiderate of YOUR wants and needs, but also kind of a dick. Did he seriously call you a "needy bitch" for wanting to cuddle for a bit? That's not OK.

A lot of guys actually do like cuddling, but a lot don't... however, MOST guys, even if they don't really like it that much, will cuddle a bit because they know you like it. At the very least, he should respectfully tell you "I just don't really like cuddling" instead of calling YOU a needy bitch, as if there's something wrong with you for wanting to be close with him.

Moral of the story is, your boyfriend is a fuckhead.

[HookingSwan]

Either he has a very deep trauma related to showing that kind of affection towards someone (but I doubt this is a Christian Grey kind of situation) or he just doesn't truly love you. He is treating u so badly by denying u this kind of proximity and eveb by shoving u and calling u names.
Any guy who loves his girl will even welcome cuddling.

Try to talk to him about it, but tbh, this is not very normal of him.

[MeghanL]

Sorry to hear that, & I'm sorry to say that apparently cuddling isn't his cup of tea.

If you have that strong a need for intimacy & it isn't being met in your relationship then you would need to decide whether you want to remain in it. Which would be something for you to decide for yourself, of course.

[matheus_mb]

You're right, what you're asking is completely normal and he shouldn't deny it. Has he ever told you the reason of why he doesn't like it? Perhaps the solution to this problem is in its origin.

[Eternallylucky]

He's only for sex but not for anything beyond that. He is truly selfish. I'd break up with him if i were you.

[BertMacklinFBI]

hmm.. can you go on knowing he won't ever satisfy that close feeling for you?

[cinderelli]

he is with you only for sex.. don't waste your time with him..

[Anonymous]

Can he may be have a past that makes him feel that way about cuddling?