Boyfriend broke up with me to "put himself together", says he still loves me, what do I need to do?

[Jakkalyne]

My boyfriend, this Monday, broke up with me because he can't get his head straight, and needs to wipe his slate clean to figure out and fix what's wrong with him. I had noticed he's been extra-stressed for about two weeks, life outside of our relationship has been hard on him the past month, but between us, everything was perfect. We're heavily passionate about each other, and he says it really had nothing to do with our relationship, that it's just that he can't fix himself if he has to worry about another person. I tried explaining to him that I can take care of myself, I am not dependent on him, but he says he just can't. He says he loves me no less, and I believe him, I don't question that, it's obvious, but I don't know what I should do. I'm not going to pressure him about getting back together right now, I don't think there's another woman, but I really miss him, I would do anything for him to come around. I'm in love, he's in love, but it doesn't look like commitment is in the cards at the moment. Men, does this "breaking up to sort out your head" happen often? What can I do to get him back? I am waiting for him, not because he asked me to, but because I just don't want anybody else. Give me an insight!

[munchydluffy]

I actually am in the same shoes as you are in. Except that my break up was about four months ago and we lived together. I still see my ex from time to time. we live rather far from each other now, but we still see each other and have a good time- as friends. There are lots of reasons why men do this. One is that he really loves you and he wants the best for you. and right now he doesn't think that he is that best person for you. If he decides that he is good enough at one point and if you are still waiting for him, it might happen again. It just might. (thats what I'm hoping for you and I) Two is that he just wants to be commitment free again. Lots of guys use this excuse to go out and have fun. I don't know your guy at all so I can't really say that's it. But I know how hard it is. Having somthing so good, and poof, its gone. One thing that I did was just pile myself with work and just work work and work. Every one have different way of getting over someone, but if you are willing to wait for this guy, then you should use this time to improve your self. so that when he comes back(which is not a guarentee but still a great thought), you'd be even more ready for him. Good luck!

[Jakkalyne]

Haha, what I'm doing is starting flamenco dancing classes and taking more classes at school :) Thanks so much for this advice and connection, it really means a lot, and helps to have someone in the same boat to sympathize with. I'm hanging out with him tomorrow... going to try to keep things light, but still try to figure some stuff out. Thanks again :3

[C_rodriguez712]

I'm in a similar situation, I ended things because I wasn't a priority, he was starting to lash out at me, saying mean things and didn't want to hear me out. I broke up with him on a his birthday and cancelled our room for the trip, I was being taken advantage and taken for granted for so long, now before I get stones thrown at me, there was a lot that was going on, he was lying to me, he chose to be with his friends on his bday rather than me, I had just gotten fed up, I was always coming in second. I felt bad that I did that, that wasn't right on my part. He ended up going on the trip without me and went with his friends. He was so angry I cancelled the room, but not because I wasn't going, but because I cancelled the room. he kept texting me the whole time he was there, saying he was sorry he'd taken me for granted. So we tried to work things out but I caught him lying to me again, so had to end it, two days ago he shows up apologizing his intentions were to work things out but I guess changed his mind, he said I deserved better, and that he wasn't ready, and that he had to straighten things out with himself. We were together for two years.

[xbabygurl]

Hello..I know you posted this 2months ago but I'm in the SAME situation. My boyfriend told me the same thing. He has told me many times that he thought I deserved better..but last week he broke up with me for the SAME reasons you listed above. I wanted to ask how your situation is now? Are you two together again?

[Regularguy]

Men do sometimes leave only to come back feeling stronger than before. But that's only sometimes. However why would he end the relationship with you to work on himself unless you were a part of his problems. For example, if my work is stressing me out I wouldn't break up with you to go look for another job. If he loves you and he knows that you love him he will fix his problems while being with you. There's nothing to hide with the person you love. And no one is ever perfect in life, that doesn't mean they go breaking up with whoever it is unless again, the relationship itself is a part of the problem.

[shyguy26]

The only reason that I have ever broken up with a girl is because something was missing and I didn't see a point to carrying on the relationship. If anything I would think that he would want to talk to you and be around you more because you are the least stressful part of his life right now. Something about this doesn't seem right. I think that should ask him exactly why he broke up with you because there is more to it then "getting his head straight."

[Jakkalyne]

I think he's stuck thinking that he needs to take care of me, which is stressing him out. I've been having a pretty rough time, too with family and work. AND he's been off his depression meds since November.. which I keep telling him to get. His head is really, really foggy, He also told me that spending time with me WAS what he wanted to do and the least stressful... but while he wanted to do that, he wasn't taking care of everything that's stressing him out. Sorry, I know I'm not being clear.