My girlfriend says she loves me but doesn't care about me. is there hope?

[Anonymous]

she says that she loves me but never in 18 months has she asked me to come to hers or stay over at hers. I want to see her as much as possible and would give every second of my spare time to her , yet she's happy to see me once every week or so and that's mostly only for a couple of hours . washing her car ,cleaning her house , having a lying , or just feeling like being on her own all come before me. when I pull her up about it she says I'm talking nonsense and it means absolutely nothing and why am I even mentioning it ! she came round to mine for the first time in over a year stayed for two hours then left. that was on a Tuesday , I saw her with my boys for an hour on the Saturday . I asked if I could stay over on the Sunday and the answer was no. I asked can we do something together on the Friday as we both weren't working on that day she said no and that weekend she wouldn't be free either !

[greeneyedgal]

She has followed this pattern for 18 months...I'm sorry but I don't see any promise of change. From an outsider perspective and based on what you wrote, I don't think she is taking advantage and using you as a convenience. You visit her for a few hours but you wash her car, clean her home etc. Couples should be going out together, talking, going for a drive, enjoying each other's company. I am not sure what you're even getting out of this arrangement? I think you clearly have a lot to offer, and she doesn't give you or the relationship the time, dedication, love, respect and devotion deserved. The relationship is completely one sided and you're doing it all.

I cannot tell you what to do. However, I just encourage you to really ask yourself is you're happy in this, if you feel loved, are your needs being met and is this woman truly meeting your expectations.

Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks for that greeneyedgal . I have a whole heart of love and time to give the right woman , I have completely refitted my girlfriends bathroom fitted new pvcu windows revamped her back room with a conservatory roof ,which I fell off and was out of action for a few weeks. changed radiators and so on . in return I have had .......... well nothing ! just excuses not to see me !!

[greeneyedgal]

There are A LOT of women who will appreciate and kill for a man like you. Don't settle, you deserve the best!

[Nataliee]

I can see two possibilities

a) she unfortunately doesn't like you as much as she says

b) she's just a person that likes their alone time

im going to go with b, because I think that's more likely as she does say she loves you. Some people just don't feel the need to see their partner for more than a couple of hours a week, but it doesn't mean they love them any less. She might value her time alone and feel that when she does see you its all the more special.

I don't think it means she doesn't love you, but then again if she's really not what your looking for in a relationship and her behaviour is really bothering you then you should talk to her about it or consider where the relationship is going.

[Asker]

We have had some hum dinger arguments , and she has never acknowledged any of my issues or concerns. my feelings don't even bare a single thouht ,im just a sod for giving her so much greif for nothing . I took her two kids whome I love ! with my to for an activity week last august , I spent a grand giving everyone everything they wanted . my girlfriend has never in 18 months even invited my boys round to her house , is that normal ??

[Nataliee]

Ok well with that new information I'd agree with greeneyedgirl - this girl clearly isn't what you're looking for in a woman and maybe its time for you to move on, or really tell her how you feel.

[martyfellow]

No, her emotional involvement is zero, I think. She isn't really pretending otherwise...You're just coming off as desperate for affection.