- u
1. When people are in college, they sometimes undergo some period of self-examination that leave them feeling unhappy. It is also an age at which endogenous depression may begin to express itself.
2. She wanted to break up multiple times. Whatever motivates that, it seems to be persistent. Do you have any reason - other than wishful thinking - to think that will go away over time?
3. She wants to remain friends. Know why? That lessens her guilt over breaking up and it keeps you on the hook in the event she once again changes her mind about the break up. In other words, it suits her needs, but not yours.
4. You can stay with this girl but you will probably be going through the same turmoil with her 2-3 years from now. How many years do you want to devote to her before you say "It's time to say goodbye, move forward, and find someone who wants me as much as I want her?"
5. Remaining friends with an ex is horribly counterproductive. You will keep hanging on to a hope that will likely never materialize, and you probably won't even begin to look for someone else. If you do look and find someone else, how will she feel about the fact that you still spend time with the ex who was the love of your life?
You need to decide what your goals are, decide whether this girl is going to be a part of reaching those goals, and then do what you need to do to accomplish your goals.
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I learned that I have had very little success changing a woman's mind, specially if she said she thought about things and made a decision.
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She's also going through lots of life changes, so that might also be a factor. Just do your best to be supportive.
- u
Take her to counseling
move on
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