Does cheating make you a bad person?

[Anonymous]

So I'm just thinking to myself and I don't know why I've thought of this but because it's now in my head I need to share.

The title pretty much sums it up 'does cheating make you a bad person?'

I know people cheat for various reasons but I don't think it makes them a bad person. I know people who have cheated and they aren't bad people at all, they had their reasons and they got through it. I think sometimes people need to rebel in order for things to fall back into place, if you get my drift...

there's people out there that cheat in very single relationship but I don't think it makes them a bad person. Each to their own, what are your views?

Updates

+1 y

Well it's all very mixed reviews on the subject

Updates

+1 y

So I have decided that cheating does not make you a bad person. You never know what situation a person could be in, they may have tried to pack their bags and leave.

I'm not sticking up for cheaters but I don't think it makes them a bad person.

[Confused2500]

What is a bad person anyway? Mass murderer? Drug lord? Corrupted and evil politician?
I don't think cheating makes you a bad person. Nobody cheats just because. Most people do because they're not happy and I have know at least three who have done it for that very reason. Are they bad people? I would never call them that.
I also wonder why we get so rattled about cheating? Is t about sex? Trust? Maybe it's jealousy?
If we think that sexual infidelity is so bad, why don't we think that lying is equally bad? Or how about someone who vows to love their spouse and turns out to be a shitty husband or wife for years to come?
I think that's much worse than having an affair.

[bihh_shook]

Theirs so excuse. Sure their are some people who have cheated that aren’t bad people, as long as they don’t continue to cheat. Most of the people who cheat continue to cheat and hurt people over and over again. That makes them bad people, saying cheating doesn’t make you a bad person just encourages that it’s okay to cheat, and that’s not acceptable. Comparing sexual infidelity to lying is INSANE, sexual infidelity is a form of lying and a lot more specific so they can’t be equally bad, lying is a very broad term. It takes a lot longer to become a bad spouse then to have an affair, so it doesn’t make sense to compare the two. If your not happy with your relationship, break up with them, and if your too worried about how bad they’ll feel then that’s your fault for not having the amount of communication that you should have with your partner. Also if you get to know your significant other before you start being together, then cheating won’t be a problem. Hope you learned something from this.

[AzureGirl]

Let's see... Instead of leaving their partner they're obviously dissatisfied with, they decide to lie to both them and whoever they decide to screw with. And then cause their partner emotional pain and can lead to them having issues with trust as a result of the cheating scumbag.

So yes, cheaters are bad people.

[Asker]

What if they tried to leave their partner? But their partner wouldn't allow it..

[AzureGirl]

That's nonsense.

[Asker]

Not really... I've been in that position myself before.

[Confused2500]

I agree. The same thing happened to a friend of mine.

[orphan]

if your partner won't allow you to leave you call the cops.

[Asker]

@orphan that sometimes causes more problems

[bihh_shook]

That should never happen. That only happens when you don’t have enough communication with your partner, you have to get to know the person before deciding to be with them. Forcing someone to stay with you is a crime and you should call the police or other protective services, or simply have other people help you. The cops will help you with that kind of situation.

[bihh_shook]

@Confused2500 That only happens if you don’t know your partner enough, and you didn’t get to know them before like your supposed to if you want to have a good relationship

[angelmarkley]

I don't think cheating makes you a bad person. Like if you just constantly do it then an evaluation needs to be made. I'm sort of understanding so I would just want to know and understand what the reason for cheating was. We won't be able to work out our relationship, but I just want to understand.

[Asker]

Yeah, talking through it is always best. I don't think I fine 'cheating' as a terrible thing - just all depends on the situation

[angelmarkley]

Yeah, like a lot of these guys are saying if you cheat you're this or you're that when they've probably cheated themselves. I've never really been in a real relationship so I can't really judge anything anyone does in a relationship.

[KaranSharma55]

Just feel the pain when you notice your guy cheated on you.. he said I love you to you and you both had dreams of good and bright future but one day you recognize he is sharing with some one else... you get broken

of course it makes you a bad person

[Asker]

Everyone has their reasons. Yes, he should of said he was happy or whatever.

But not a bad person in my book.

[talloak]

To put it into perspective, think about it this way. If your boyfriend or husband cheated on you do you think you could become good friends with the woman he cheated with, assuming you have a lot in common?

[Victorianne]

It makes you a disloyal and deceitful person.. two traits i despise in a person. So I may not view them as a bad person in general , but I'd view their behaviour as immoral and manipulative. So I wouldn't associate with a person who had those negative, deal-breaker traits.

[BertMacklinFBI]

sure to each their own,

just like how instead of cheating, why not just do the right thing, because its right vs wrong,

but hey, to each their own.

[sp33d]

Umh, the definition of "bad" seems very ambiguous here. For the sake of argument, I don't consider a cheater a "bad" person, necessarely. Inconsistent and immature, yes, but what can you do, eh?

[Asker]

Live and learn.

[AleDeEurope]

The only reason to cheat is because you're a piece of shit. So yeah, cheating does make you a bad person.

[Asker]

Each to their own.

[Riggers]

If you cheat, You are a cunt. Simple.

if you are not happy with the person you are with, break up with them, THEN fuck other people, there is absolutely NO NEED to be fucking multiple people at once, Thats just retarded.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I think it makes you a selfish person, but not always a bad person. I guess it depends on the situation as well as some cases are more severe than others.

[Offthelist]

Nothing makes you a bad person. No matter what you do. .. you're still human. Unless it results in your death.. that is.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

I think it does. It's like well... Your girlfriend LOVES you, she tells you everything, would do anything for you, Trusts you... And you throw that all away, breaking her heart... Yeah you're a bad person if you cheat

[Asker]

Guys get their hearts broken to haha. Let's just not make it like the girl is the victim

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Yes, We get our hearts broken too, most people who get cheated on do :p

[Anonymous]

No. See, that would be a wrong thing to do. Who am I to do something like that? Am I infallible? No.
I wouldn't judge your overall behavior focused on the fact that you cheated in the past. I consider it a shitty thing to do to someone, but that doesn't necessarily make the person who cheated a shitty person.

[Anonymous]

I'm going through this. I've never cheated but I've thought about it. Im not in love and don't know how to break it off without hurting her. The only reason I've never cheated is because she's a good woman and doesn't deserve that. She loves me but I don't love her back the way she loves me. But I strongly feel that she does not deserve to be cheated on him which is why I've never done it. I look at her as more of a best friend and person to hang out with not someone to share my life with

[Asker]

Just be honest.

[Opinion Owner]

I've told her before but she just tries harder to please me and fight for us. What am I suppose to do if I'm not in love. I'venever cheated but my will power is getting weaker and weaker

[Asker]

Do you live together?

[orphan]

you're hurting her and wAsting her time everyday you stay with her. just give her her bad news so she can get up and get to moving on already.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm married to her...

[Opinion Owner]

@orphan yea I know but it isn't that easy for me. But you're right

[Asker]

She's clearly inlove with you and you are going to break her heart. But you aren't happy. And as much as you don't want to hurt her, you're going to.

Don't say to her that you see her as a best friend! That will make her feel worse.
Just tell her that you aren't inlove with her anymore, be completely honest.

[Opinion Owner]

God this sucks lol. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Hands down.

[Asker]

You'll get through it, you've got to put yourself first

[Opinion Owner]

As selfish as that sounds I'm starting to feel that way

[Asker]

Good. I hope everything goes ok :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. You at that you posted on here looking for advice and ended up giving someone else advice lol

[Asker]

That's the whole point of this website :P

[Opinion Owner]

Lol right

[Anonymous]

Yes it does. You are physically and emotionally hurting you partner when you cheat. You could pass on a sexually transmitted disease to your partner. Your partner would never be able to trust you since you lied to them and risked their health over your selfishness.

[Asker]

Best hope people just condoms if they are going to cheat. But I hear where you are coming from.

[reptocarl]

It shows you have bad character. It proves you have no fidelity or loyalty and it also proves you don't give a fuck about hurting someone else

[Asker]

I hear what you're saying but what if the relationship you are in is pretty much dead? There's no coming back from it?

I'm just trying to put myself in someone else's shoes that could be going through this..

[reptocarl]

At least break up or divorce first

[farscryer0]

Cheating makes you a disloyal and untrustworthy person.

And a person that cannot be trusted is not someone I would spend any amount of time with, regardless of their reasons for doing whatever.

[Asker]

The person you could end up with may have cheated in their past relationships but might not of told you until things got more serious.

[farscryer0]

True, in which case, I'll have something to think about. People can change, but sometimes, bad behaviors are prompted (or precipitated) by a very specific set of circumstances. A lot of people cheat because there is not trust or intimacy in their current relationships. And while they can find a partner to have both with, I'm curious that if they were to assume incorrectly that certain "red flags" were appearing, they would do the same as before and cheat.

[Asker]

You'll have to trust your partner and hope you change them. You will never know if you constantly think that someone you're with is cheating on you. That's no way to live a happy, healthy relationship.

[farscryer0]

Exactly, which is why I don't bother with women who have a semi-public reputation for cheating.

If it came to be that she admitted it while we we together, I'd ask about the story behind and make a judgment call then.

[Asker]

Don't judge off someone's past. You may of been with her for a year or 2 when things really start getting serious. You could be utterly inlove and would her past even matter? As long as you trust her.

[farscryer0]

Believe me, I've plenty of experience in the dating scene. So forgive me for being selfish when I say that "if you don't want to be judged, don't bring it up."

I don't talk about ex's expect on this forum, or if asked directly. I don't expect, nor do I ask, about ex's unless such info is volunteered. There's no point in doing so as ex's are such for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don't really respect cheaters neither would I date one with history in it.
Here's what cheaters (at least to me) lack:
1) Honesty.
2) Trustworthiness.
3) Loyalty.
4) Respect.
5) Care.

These are all highly negative character traits in my book.

[Yazu-chan]

Yes, if you cheat you are the scum of the earth. If you want to be with someone else break it off with the other person or discuss and agree on having an open relationship. If you hurt another person, that makes you scum.

[RasmusAiken]

I wouldn't say "bad person" probably just a shitty person.

[Anonymous]

If by cheating you mean lying to or deceiving someone to whom they have a moral obligation to be truthful then yes. If by cheating you just mean having more than one lover at the same time, no I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

[Asker]

Interesting so you think it's ok to basically have an affair?

[Opinion Owner]

As long as everyone knows what's going on.

[Asker]

Hmmm I think jealousy may come into that but hey ho. I wonder how many people actually have 2 or more lovers at the same time

[Opinion Owner]

I never did (not for lack of opportunity) but I don't see anything wrong with it in principle. I think you are right in that most people couldn't deal with it.

[damnwinter]

Well, if one knows cheating will deeply hurt their partner, but they still do it, does that sound like a good person to you?

[Asker]

It doesn't sound like a bad person? Everyone has their reasons I guess but I couldn't class them as bad people.

[damnwinter]

I have no objection to that :) we see things differently, to me it does make someone a bad person. or at least an inconsiderate one, but I might as well be wrong

[AnayaWilliams]

I wouldn't say that it makes you a bad person but it makes you look bad. Instead of cheating on the person why not just be honest about how you truly feel about them.

[normalice]

it's bad if they lie about it. If they are upfront about not being interested in monogamy, but then someone tries to have a monogamous relationship with them anyway, then it's fine in my opinion..

[selmo93]

I think it doesn't. But I've been on both sides of it. Sometimes there is reasons behind it

[orphan]

yup. there is no what ifs. there's a proper way to go about it, and behind their back is never the proper way.

[Asker]

That's true. But like I said in another comment. People I know have tried to leave their partner but they would not let them. It's a vey difficult situation to be in. I don't know if I would personally cheat but I can completely see why people do in certain circumstances.

[orphan]

then you call the cops.

[blondfrog]

Yeah but we're all bad even famous people cheat so you as a human being could rationalize that and say well if they did it then I am not that bad or bad at all. all of us rationalize our actions.

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated on me, I don't think she is or was a bad person.

[Prince_teddy4u]

Kind of.. But not really.. You can be bad for one.. N you'll be best for another..

[Asker]

Hmm that's true.

[Prince_teddy4u]

That's what I believe and experienced...

[jpark19]

obviously it does make you a bad person for cheating wtf

[Anonymous]

Yes women who cheat are awful especially as they alway's try and make excuses.

[Asker]

It wasn't directed at women? But ok

[Anonymous]

Yes selfish, disgusting pigs cheat and no by pigs I'm not meaning men I mean men and women both cheat.

[alyona932]

not a BAD person , but an untrustworthy person

[LifeEqualsLove]

No, but it doesn't make you a good person either

[XoxoXxx]

It doesn't make you a good person in my book.

[Anonymous]

no i cheat on every girl. im a good guy

[Asker]

Hahaha very funny

[Opinion Owner]

about as funny as your question funny girl.