My boyfriend thinks I take advantage of him?

[Anonymous]

i sometimes crash at my bf's place (which is actually his mom's) for a few days to weeks at a time. i've stayed over there for four months at one time. i usually eat the food they have the house, use their shower, watch tv, sleep over in my bf's room, etc. but lately, i'll end up eating a lot of the food like today i had 2 granola bars, a bag of nuts, a bowl of chips, some more chips and a sandwich. or i'll be asking him for rides to places like work or or another event or to my apartment. my boyfriend told me that he thinks i should stop eating that much food in the house, he said that even though he doesn't pay for it, his mom has to and everyone in the house is struggling with money cause we all just paid bills recently. he said that he has to eat a lot cause he works out often, and that i eat more food than he usually does. also, he said he feels like i just hangout with him cause he has weed, food, and a tv. i told him that i love spending time with him no matter what he has. but i said that i honestly hate my own apartment (plus a few days ago i had literally no money and no food so i asked to crash at his place, i also hate being alone and enjoy his company)

about a week ago, i gave his mom $100 to show her thanks for all the stuff she pays for especially when i stay there. i've given her $20 a few months ago. to pay for my bf's gas (i don't drive) i offer to pay for meals for him whenever i can. when he needs help paying for more weed, he'll ask me if i can chip in $20 and i always do as soon as i have money. right now i just feel like shit because i feel like i should be more considerate. i feel like such a rude person. could someone give me some advice on how i can give back to them to show them my appreciation for having me live there?

[bbch25]

Honestly it does sound like you take advantage. You should pay a regular rent for aech day you're there. At the start of my SOs relationship and mine, I'd stay at his every weekend and the place he lives didn't mind (he has like a downstairs apartment thing), but after a couple months his "landlord" said that because I am using the power and water that she'd like me to pay 10 dollars a day I'm there and I thought it was fair. We buy our own food and stuff so it's only the bills I'm chipping in on.

You are eating their food, and not even a small amount, you should be willing to pay the amount each week of everything you've eaten.
The fact you have tried to chip in a bit is something at least, but yes you should offer more or a weekly amount.

I hate my apartment too, which is why I'd love to stay at my SOs place longer, but if I do that, I pay more and that's how it goes.

I can see both sides of this, especially his and his families though.

[selmo93]

Start paying your way.
I'm sorry but it's coming across your sponging.
you can't just go to his as you have no food etc. As that's just extending the problem to his mum's.
If it's that bad have him move in with you

[Azgeda]

Yeah you probably should chip in to help with maintaining the house since you live and eat there.
Doesn't mean you have to be paying rent but like , buy groceries for the week , help pay the bills.
Funny tho. So you're living with your boyfriend , but your boyfriend also live with his parents?

[NotMyUsername15]

You're an annoying freeloader. It's only a matter of time before he leaves you. You have no respect for a house that's not even yours or your boyfriends, you can't just go around saying peoples food or sleeping over constantly in a house that's not yours.

[NotMyUsername15]

*eating

[slatyb]

Your heart is in the right place -- you don't want to be a mooch. I think you should talk seriously with your boyfriend and whoever else is contributing financially and tell them how you feel and ask what you can do.

[thatnicksuitsme]

It is simple. Eat less and show your love, enjoyment, happiness every chance you get.