Should I let my husband have a FWB?

[Anonymous]

If I can't sexually satisfy my husband, but the rest of our relationship is perfect, should I allow him to have a friends with benefits or fuck buddy? Why or why not?

[Metlahaed]

I hate questions like these because I think EVERYONE should have friends with benefits, but I can't answer like that so I have to pretend I'm a monogamous person, it's annoying. But here goes.

I like fair game. If he gets a friends with benefits, you should too. But I actually recommend staying away from just one, because then it becomes a 3 way relationship whether you like it or not, and 1 out of 3 people has (presumably) no power over anyone else. So that sucks for the friends with benefits. I would recommend escorts. It's business only, no complications. And no matter what, the friends with benefits CANNOT be a friend. Especially not a friend of yours.

[Infynis]

Here's your MHO

[Tdieseler]

A threesome maybe... but having him pork another woman entirely? I can see the logic in it... at first, but if that woman does the job right, feelings will follow and you will end up trying to blame him when you are at fault.
Up your game, watch some porn, get some toys, read some books, try new things, dress up, role play... SOMETHING!! WOMAN UP!!
Do something he will neeeever expect you to do.

[Checkers82]

I don't think letting your partner have an external fuck buddy would be a good idea but maybe consider bringing someone else in to have like a once off three way kind of thing. Whether they're hired help or someone you met randomly online so long as it's not someone you know or solely there for his pleasure.

[Asker]

I'm not really able to participate in a threesome.

[Checkers82]

For what reason?

[Asker]

My body isn't physically about to participate in sex

[Checkers82]

Is that a personal choice or a medical one? Just asking so I can think of better alternatives for you.

[Asker]

Medical

[Checkers82]

What about oral? Surely you'd be able to satisfy him that way? There should be some alternatives.

[Asker]

Yeah. I can do oral but he kind of had to straddle my face and I think he gets bored of it

[NyomiMcClinton]

No, do not this. There is a possibility that he will leave you for her because he is being satisfied elsewhere. I wouldn't even let him know that you are considering it. Most men will jump at this idea, and there is no telling how many women will be his friends with benefits.

[1Anon]

Instead, why don't you both work together to figure out why you're unable to sexually satisfy him? When you know the answer you both could work to resolve it so that you are able to satisfy him sexually. It would be a better option rather than introducing a third person.

[Asker]

It's complicated

[Sapioit]

One of the few who make sense in this post...

[1Anon]

Fair enough but surely it's not impossible? If it is then I'd say be very careful about introducing a third person for the sake of your marriage, mental and emotional health. Once a third person is introduced without sufficient and thorough consideration, feelings of jealousy and insecurities may surface which in turn could lead to arguments and ultimately divorce. It's a risky move but if you must, don't opt for a friend with benefits relationship, keep it strictly to hookup only (with a complete stranger not a friend) to prevent from blurring the boundaries and to keep their sex separate from everything else.

[Sapioit]

It might work even if he'd pay for sex. Thou' I suggest an escort rather than a prostitute...

[1Anon]

@Sapioit Agreed but do not use the same escort every time as you would want to prevent him from developing an emotional attachment or connection.

[memento91]

I would say you let him do it.. but could you watch and masturbate? i guess i wonder why is it that you can't satisfy him but that is totally personal you dont have to share. if you trust him do it.

[normalice]

If you honestly think it wouldn't bother you, sure. But if I were you, I would make sure she is more "your" friend than his. If this would bother you, then a complete stranger would too, and if it doesn't then by keeping her close to you, you can confirm that the two of them aren't interested in each other beyond sex.

[Lopezz1999]

You had to ask, so you're probably going to be jealous if he does. However since you can't sexually satisfy him, that's another problem even when he's loyal to you only. It's either jealousy or risk the downfall of the relationship. The same would happen if he romantically satisfying you, so to be honest I'd rather you allow him to have the friends with benefits as long as she isn't affiliated with him in any way (met within a day and fucked the same day).

[FLwife]

I'm in this same situation 58F/64M and sex is just not as important to me as it is to my husband. The rest of our life/marriage is wonderful, I know he loves me, he tells me often, he treats me wonderfully. But, he does not get enough sex so he found a couple to play with occasionally which was fine. But the male in that couple passed away, and he wanted to keep the friends with benefits with the wife, which I agreed to but said, there must be NO feelings, secrets, and all transparency, friends only, they both agreed, the woman even told me she had no desire to be anything more than sex with ANYONE. So yesterday, I seen a text message between the 2 of them where they told each other "Love you". Devastated, and this will be a conversation we now have to have, so to you I say, think long and hard about the choice you make and know what may happen and how you will handle it. The couple aspect worked, but single friends with benefits does not, in my opinion. I wish you all the best

[chefsam]

Hell no. Spice things up in your sex life. Maybe try a threesome with a woman you know. If you let him have a fuck buddy or friends with benefits, what makes you think down the line or some point that he won't leave you? The relationship could be perfect but allowing him to have another woman please him could ruin your marriage.

[Kaptin]

This really depends on you, if you think that you can handle something like that then sure. My opinion would that this is a terrible idea, but I have trust issues so I guess that's a conflict of interest.

[Ovidiu-Nicolae]

That's so bad... your love an marriage it's based only on sex?
In my view a man should satisfy her woman not reverse.
Now to answer your question, you better buy him a sexual toy either is a vibrator either a fuckdoll but friends with benefits no way, then was the marriage for?

[NJ_Casanova]

What's the problem? Low sex drive?

If you are thinking about it and are ok with it... then Yes. I think there are a lot of couples that swing, swap and invite another person in to there sex lives.

[Cmasterson]

If you feel like you wouldn't resent him and you have complete trust in him, then sure however its more of a conversation for you to have with each other.

[tropicalangel95]

If you want your relationship to last, don't allow him to have friends with benefits. Why not practice a lot and watch on your performance improvement?

[anaspie]

If your comfortable with it and you feel that it will help your marriage then do it. If your only doing this for him and not for you then that could be an issue.

[Sara413]

If that somehow makes you happy and doesn't make you feel used, unappreciated or hurt... do what you want I guess...

[LaurenGrace]

yeah if your secure within the rest of your marriage let him have a friends with benefits and date nights

[Edymemelord]

Open relationships are a thing, if you're comfortable with it then do it.
It's entirely up to you c:

[WaterRat]

Yes that is one of their primal needs, don't deny him that or he will be resentful and leave.

[TheFinalFrontier]

Why can't you sexually satisfy him is my question. O. o

[Metlahaed]

I was going to say the same thing.

[Sapioit]

I guess that's the real problem here. Getting her to satisfy him. Because she's not even willing to talk to us about that.

[Asker]

Long story short, my body is not able to have sex.

[TheFinalFrontier]

Ohhhh. That's rough. There are always other things besides vaginal sex though!

[Asker]

I really only have my mouth, so...

[TheFinalFrontier]

Oral sex is great. Though I'm starting to get really curious why you can't do anything else. =\

[Asker]

Does it matter...

[Sapioit]

What about anal? Also, why can't you have sex? There might be a solution you don't know of, and someone here might know...

[Asker]

I'm paralyzed

[Metlahaed]

Are you not allowed penetration? Or hold-up, is this just some fear you have? Thinking you aren't good enough? Or has he expressed his concern about it?

[Asker]

I... all I can do is lay there. He gets bored with it

[Metlahaed]

Are you paralyzed from the waist down or quad? or?

[Asker]

Waist down.

[Lolita911]

No, because you're just gonna end uo getting jealous and hurt by it

[Browneye57]

No. And, why not?
What's the matter with you two?

If you want to stay married you'll find a third option. What seems to be the root problem?

[Asker]

I'm paralyzed...

[Browneye57]

I'm sorry. Why did you leave that out?
Quad or para?
Did this happen after you married? An accident or?

Different answer then. And I would tend to say that it's something you should just ignore if you truly cannot be any kind of partner at all. If you two can enjoy your time together and it works then it's all good.

[Asker]

Para. It just happened late last year.

[Browneye57]

What did your doctor tell you? Have you sought professional counseling for this?
I would start there - it's more complicated than this forum could possibly address.
And I wish you the best, however it works out.

[Asker]

Thanks. I've been searching for a different doctor as I think I could use a second opinion. Counseling was started immediately.

[singlebee]

You talk like as if he isn't gonna cheat on you if you don't give him the permission to have a friends with benefits LOLLOL :-D

Why can't you satisfy him though?

[Anonymous]

You should read up on this subject before making a decision. There is a good amount of information available if you look up the term "open relationship".

[Neverrrmore]

Why not just figure out what he needs sexually and do that? That's always fun.

[suckitbe]

I'd say no, because it would typically cause jealousy and resentment.

[Danher525]

I think so because it's not like he does not love you sex is sex some people think it's better for a relationship or it's not

[Guitarwizard7]

I would try to find ways to sexually satisfy him. Do something different.

[Asker]

That's impossible

[Anonymous]

I love that let/alow him 😂😂😂😂😂
You're both your own people and can do what you like with out asking.

[Asker]

I wasn't literally asking for permission... I was asking if you guys think it's a good or bad idea. Thought that was obvious...

[CheerGirl38139]

what do you mean when you say "can't" satisfy him?

[Asker]

Hard to explain

[CheerGirl38139]

try me. Feel free to PM.

I know someone that is in a similar situation.

[SarahsSummer]

Yes. If you and he are ok with it then why not?

[kemalim13]

i want you as wife :))

[abc3643]

No, not at all.

[Anonymous]

of course u shouldn't

[Anonymous]

yes he will anyway if you say no. we all have them

[TonyRyanAgain]

Sure.

[Germrivera]

Yea you should ;)

[Anonymous]

no
bad idea