Does it matter how many people you've slept with?

Question

Would it put you off if say your partners number was 100+?

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Well of course it matters. Study after study shows the negative effects of promiscuity. We have not had a near universal taboo on it for no good reason. The greater the number of partners the higher the probability of divorce (1% with one partner, 16% with two), cheating (out of those who score in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestrictive scale (seeing sex as a casual thing) over 50% have cheated and divorced), depression, general unhappiness with relationships etc. All of this is very bad for the person who gets into a relationship with these people who will have a high probability of hurting them emotionaly and with laws that cater to women in divorce it will hurt them more economically (80% of alimony/child support is paid for by men) and emotionally (due to women almost always getting custody of children). Thats before we factor in the massive amount of damage this does to a child. Children of divorce are far more likely to commit suicide, suffer from depression, commit substance abuse, get into trouble with the law, and divorce themselves (thus perpetuating the problem). So yeah, partner count matters, the notion that we live in a vacuum and no action impacts another or ourselves is absurd, even more so when that action has had tabooes against it within every major civilization in the world (then we go and pretend like it was for no particular reason, as if people just hated having sex and orgasms). It matters.

EMoneyBagz · Accepted Answer

Im heterosexual n only deal with girls. To me it doesn't really matter unless she was a complete whore n fucked over 50 dudes

As long as her body count isn't greater than her age im cool wit it. U have to be realistic. An attractive girl is gonna fuck

Anybody who thinks 5 or 10 guys is a big deal probably doesn't get laid a lot n is secretly jealous that the girl had fucked a lot of guys because he can't fuck a lot of girls

N its not about how many people ur up to, its all about how u carry yourself. As long as ur not a complete whore

CrystalChild · Accepted Answer

I know I get flack but at some point, yes it does. Not because you're a slut or whore, but because if you've slept with 100+ people then you have some seriously different perspectives on sex than I do. I see it as a sacred interaction and I couldn't possibly meet over 100 people I'd like to share that with. If you have a colourful past, I understand, but the odds of someone catching a disease when they've had a plethora of partners is alarmingly high. If they miraculously went and tested positive, that's a wonderful thing. If they don't approve of frivolous sex any longer then that's another thing too. But to say "ah no just sleep around as much as you want before me" I can not condone because although I'm not religious, spiritually if feels wrong to me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Nope, in fact as our relationship heats up and gets more serious before we slept together all I was is an STD check (and for him to know he has no babies out there... aka he actually knows the women he slept with and has kept contact with them long enough afterward to not have to worry)... if a number talk comes up later, along with funny/erotic tales or just answers to why your against certain things or whatever then we'll slowly discuss it through out our relationship. I don't put too much weight on stupid stuff like that.

NyomiMcClinton · Accepted Answer

I personally would not want to know how many partners the guy that I am talking to have been with. Lets be honest here, no one is ever truthful about how many partners they have slept with. As long as the person does not have any STDS then thats fine with me. The past is the past. I do believe that a person can change. I slept with a lot of men in my past. I am no longer that way anymore, I matured and would not want anyone to hold that against me. Im not that person anymore, so I would not do that to anyone.

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

It matters to ME.

I will be able to see my partner's sexual history by looking in the mirror.

Ergo... his only sexual partner will be me. And he will be my only partner. And any more is going to put me off immediately.

Cause I'm weird and those are my morals.

Exterminatore · Answer

For me it doesn't matter.

I will not ask the question of anyone I'm dating as I will in no way believe any answer I receive. Girls down play their numbers, guys up play theirs typically. I will neither answer the question either.

In college there was the rule of the 10 di*k curve. However many number of guys a girl said she was with, add 10 to that number and that was probably about right. Girls are nortorious for not being truthful with this and are also creative with answers. They will state a downplayed number of guys they had intercourse with only.

A guy who is asking this question is trying to determine if she's a slut or not. The guy doesn't want only the number of only those she's had intercourse with, but the total number of every guy she blew, jerked off and did anything else with as well.

So since there's usually and generally a lack of truth with this I will neither ask, nor answer that question of anyone I'm dating. I also do not care in all honesty. So long as the girl didn't do porn, stripping, or prostitution (those are 100% deal breakers for me) I could care less.

If I did find out a girl had been with 100 guys, I still wouldn't be put off. My number of partners is rather high as I did sow my oats quite frequently with different partners when I was younger. Many girls did too. As I see it, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

TaksC · Answer

First let me say, people are gonna think/judge about it regardless how high or how low.

I remember at age 17 (still virgo back then) confessed to me she didn't believe me I was a virgin. And at age 17 you can still give a person the benefit of the doubt if it was 37 you can 99% bet they're lying.

But yes for me it counts:

1 To me it already shows to me how the persons views sex, my (cheating slut of an) ex said she has problems kissing a person she hasn't a connection to but can easily sleep with them.

2 This one is really important to me. It shows me how much self-control the girls has. Just that you are cute/beautiful/handsome and can sleep with any/many person/peolple at any given time doesn't mean you have to.

A person with self-control (man or woman) is a person less likely to cheat on you. And if you ask your love interest partner how many people he/she has slept with ask them how many of them or if any of them were the other woman/man.

3 And this one is a bit immature but still. I don't know how it is for women/girls but for me as a guy and my friend. You don't want to be the person laughed at (behind your back) because 1/2 to 3/4 of the guys she knows has slept with her. And believe me this happens.

I had a friend who lost another friend because of this. The 2nd friend warned the first friend about a loose girl he was dating. We slept at dorms and I wanted to do my laundry and saw her sneaking to another guy's room ( Her boyfriend back then lived with his parent). And yeah I heard them moaning and whispering they needed to be quick.

I-am-a-nobody · Answer

Wow! A lot of you have a lot more faith than I do.

If someone had 100 partners in the past, it is HIGHLY likely they will stray. Mutual funds claim that, "past performance is not indicative of future results", but in this case, a promiscuous past almost always leads to a promiscuous future.

Concerning STDs...
So, they were tested last week, but where have they been since? Also, some diseases, like HIV, give a false negative for several weeks. That person who is "clean", might not be clean. Do you really want to risk your life for that?

estoydorado1 · Answer

The highest number I could ever tolerate (without being suspicious) is 20-25 and under. It also depends on the guy's age as well. I don't want to date a 19 year old who's been with 10 girls already. I'm not an uber prude or anything, I just view sex to be really intimate and personal and I don't think guys who generally view sex as casual will be a good fit for me.

Donytellea · Answer

my guy should still be able to count the girls he slept with.
Knowing all of their names would be even better.
It doesn't matter, how many girls have been there, but for me it's important to know, I'm with a guy, showing respect to other human beings.
But to be honest... 100+ would be a little bit TOO much.

Dtherockhaugen · Answer

Simple answer is yes. I would like a woman that nobody has seen naked, or slept with. It would be a tighter bond to have realizing that you are one of the lucky few that got to see her in such way, as opposed to 100+ that would have seen her. Its more special if nobody has seen her in that way as opposed to multiple people because admitting that this woman had been with multiple men, would leave me wondering if its a genuine connection.

UnknownXYZ · Answer

It definitely does matter. I don't think I could be in a long term relationship with someone who has a N count of 100+.

Sonjita · Answer

I've never asked a guy about his other partners, numbers, experiences... I think people who ask much about these things have trust issues and are manipulators and need to compare themselves to others. Whatever you say, they'll judge you. So I avoid this kind of people. They usually attack you with this question on the first date lol and I'm like I don't even feel comfortable telling you where I went to school yet :D

Sualtam · Answer

It matters because your experiences and actions are what shapes your personality.
So having slept with such an enormous amount of people will always tell you something about the person. Wether it's good or bad, that depends on what you want and what you are yourself.

Blitzkrieger · Answer

no, it matters if you have STD's or not. you can get STD's from sleeping with only one person. you can be responsible 100 times and never catch anything or be a virgin and have sex once and catch something.

personally to me the number matters not but the time that is between partners for them. if i commit i want it to be serious, but if she changed partners every week i know its not going to last. i dont care if she slept with 100+ guys or with only 5. if she switches up fast im not going to do it.

sarcasticbella · Answer

I think it matters. It says something about your character. That you don't make commitments and your just looking for a good time or a one night stand. You most likely didn't love all 100 of those people you slept with and if I was looking for a committed relationship that would be a big red flag that says this person is obviously not into exclusivity.

Grace_Rdz · Answer

My ex boyfriend is a year older than me and he had slept with more than 10 girls. I didn't really mind until I got scared of having std's after not using protection. And that isn't cool at all.
In the future I will make sure my partner's clean and if he is, then I don't see any problem.
But then I'm not sure because having sex with like a hundred people is kind of weird to me...

dragonfly6516 · Answer

Nope. Doesn't matter one bit.
I've had over 20 partners and I've never had a single infection from sex, or been pregnant.

Also, I couldn't care less who you were, I only care about who are now, and what you are working towards being.

I think it's pretty hypocritical and narrow to tell someone that they aren't good enough for you simply because they came from a different place. So what? You're in/going to the same place now, that makes you equals.

mattty · Answer

Of course it does. Why would someone sleep with so many people anyway? I didn't even like that many girls in my lifetime let alone sleep with that many. If someone does it means he/she has low standards. So why would she need me if she doesn't mind sleeping with anybody.

sodaa_popp · Answer

I wonder how many people here who are saying they care about the number actually inquire about the number before the first time they have sex with their new partner. My guess is that the question usually comes up after the fact. Butttttt maybe that's just me.

Elastephen · Answer

At 100+, I'd be wondering what you're doing wrong that's made you still single after all the houses you've been into. I'll run as far away as possible as I wouldn't want to be number 101+ or so and id also be worried about what you could have contracted from all that adventure.

BPXXBLINKERS · Answer

it all depends on the persons in the relationship, a lot of times sleeping with other people is how people Gage thier opinion of you. for instance some women see being with other women as being OK'ed by other women as they are a good pick, and some guys like virgins but also enjoy the satisfaction of more experienced women.

blunttalker · Answer

well more than 100 is way too much , 100 is way too much , 50 too much ,30 mm too much but ok I'll accept , 20 a little too much but ok ,15 also a little too much but it's ok. and 5 or 10 , better. the less the better , but I care more about personality , I don't like asking about that , I prefer not knowing

AleDeEurope · Answer

It does matter. It's no secret that girls that have been with many men, are bad girlfriends. They don't know how to do relationships because all they've done is have sex.
So yeah, of course the amount of people they've been with matters.

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

I don't ask partners about that. I just figure they've had other sexual partners before me and leave it at that. It's something I'd rather not know anyways.

As long as they're clean, have no kids, and don't cheat then that's all that matters.

If anything, I find it a turnoff of a girl finds it necessary to boast or tell me about past sexual partners when I didn't ask.

For me, it's don't ask/don't tell when it comes to that.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly more than a few partners would be a turn off. I would always prefer the girl that I'm dating/end up marrying to be a virgin. The only girl I've dated was not a virgin, but she hadn't slept with a ton of guys either so that was alright because I really liked her. But if I find out a future partner has had a ton of partners I'm done because the sex would mean nothing to her, I'd be just another guy she slept with.

LoloWaye · Answer

Not for me. It's how he treated the girls as people that matters, and if he has a clean health history. If I was concerned about how many women he's slept with then I would have to be concerned about everything; the number of people he's kissed, the number of casual dates, all that. Can't care about one thing and not all of it.

katieschlesener · Answer

If you love someone, their past should not define who they are to you. I don't care who their firsts, seconds, thirds... hundredths are, I just want to be their last and so if I met someone with a lot of sex partners, id tell them exactly that

NerdKing16 · Answer

As a man who's pridefully innocent, it would bug me if my partner had slept with a lot of other guys. I'm at an age where it would be a bit disturbing if a woman had an 100+ body count (for lack of a better term). If she seemed genuinely faithful to me and there was chemistry between us I'd be able to look past her promiscuous past.

Browneye57 · Answer

Yes, it matters. Nobody wants someone with no morals. If they have led a life of fucking around they will continue to do so. You can never relay on a serial sleep-around. It's even worse for the ladies - they become worthless as a mate. Sex means nothing to them, it will have zero value.

glitterberryalisa · Answer

100+? No thanks. I don't necessarily care about their past and how many people they have slept with but even 20 or more makes me think they're just that desperate to get their d*ck wet. I like some standards in a guy.

Cloudy25 · Answer

No i prioritize other things that Are actually important.. like real characteristics and personality traits. I wouldn't care as long as he's STD free, loyal and doesn't have like 30 babies out there from all the girls he's slept with.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah that is a no go. That is way to many. At this point it's pretty much safe to say relationships would mean nothing to her. She is just a slut looking for a dick. The fewer the number the better. A few partners is alright as long as none were hook ups. But clearly that woman passed that long time ago. With that number she probably slept with more dudes at one time then what I want a partner to have in a lifetime.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to lie about how many people I slept with but I'm older now and don't feel I have to apologize. I'm in my early 30's so I do have a high number about 24, I'm a woman. But I always check myself and have screens done all the time and I tell my new partner, "hey I'm clean I have the paperwork to show you if you want" usually they take my word but I also don't have unprotected sex, I use condoms only in about 5 serious relationships I didn't use protection

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion the past is in the past. as long as he doesn't have any STDs and as long as he loves you and is faithful to you it doesn't matter. I would have a hard time adjusting the fact that my boyfriend slept with a bunch of girls at first but eventually it wouldn't even cross my mind.

Anonymous · Answer

Main stream females, ones wanting a serious relationship, its around the upper 500 sex partners by the age of 20. The ones that sleep around, is around 10,000 by the age of 20. Hookers, since most are sleeping with at least 10 guys a night, everyday, easier around 200,000 partners by the age of 20.

kambo_trick3y · Answer

*Reads answers* You know, it's funny, people always say "the past doesn't matter" but reading all this stuff now, now I KNOW people are full of shit.

Ladyslipper · Answer

If he told me he's been with over a hundred women I would politely ask him to go get tested, otherwise it wouldn't bother me. Most sti's don't have symptoms but will eventually cause irreversible damage and cancer risks

Valkyrie1 · Answer

Wounldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. That number would only be logocal if he was like immortal and old as dirt.

TripleAce · Answer

It matters because it shows their inability to not be able to keep a relationship or not get one, give two opposite extremes

Middle ground is best... a few that you have gained some depth and not too much that all you do is sex it up

Queen_naki5 · Answer

If they feel like sharing their number, then that's on them. In this day and age, most people have had at least 1 partner and it's not really important if we are both tested and have a monogamous relationship.

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

Yes it matters. I'm waiting until marriage so preferably I don't want a dude who's banged 100 people.

shan_shan · Answer

thats kind of tor**** (i can't find the word🤔) like really 100 yeah its a put off but it doesn't mean i will judge him and if his feelings are sincere thats what matter but first lets get him tested☺(100+ is no joke)

chantrllr · Answer

no I don't think I'd be put of I'd definitely demand he/she be tested for any sexual deseases though

Kiwedin · Answer

I've never even bothered to ask. I've been with the same guy for 4 years and he's never asked me and I've never asked him. I just don't see how it matters.

gmanhotman · Answer

I think it does only in the idea that their mental state might not be into a relationship like they got to that 100+ somehow so I would wanna hear the story and make sure there serious about where things are going or what you both want.

Bugs_Manny · Answer

Yes it does & it does not even have to be 100+. Having 100+ partners in this short lifespan really makes me think that this person has no standards when it comes to choosing a sexual partner.

lilly_flower85 · Answer

Absolutely! As a woman, I want to know I am giving myself to a man that values a woman's worth. To me sex is not a game, and nor is it something to engage in lightly.

natured · Answer

As long as that person used protection i would be fine, i mean , 100 people, at least one of them had an STD for sure... so that would be the only thing that would scare me.

mellifluous_girl · Answer

Absolutely, I would be intimidated if my partner has slept with 100+ people, and it would make me question what they expect from me.

MaisGem21 · Answer

If a male has had more than 100, I'm going to have trouble trusting them with commitment.

Princeofanons · Answer

I don't really care too much about a girls sexual history. It's probably as bad as mine or worse, so I don't really need to know about it and she's with me now.

Justacatlady · Answer

Not to me. But I would never tell my SO my true number because I know it would change the way he thinks of me.

wolviepool · Answer

It (obviously) depends on the person. I'm into someone, currently, who's looking for loyalty, and since we're close friends, she tells me that "the number" DOES matter. But it depends on the social culture one grows up in, more importantly. The only reason it matters is because it gives a tainted image of your personality and trustability. If that area's not an actual problem, you're good to go.

SMcCalley · Answer

What's the context? Is the partner a trucker, hooking up with random people when they stop at a gas station, or like a famous musician with assistants to vet people before they get access?

Either way, that's a LOT of chances to contract something nasty or permanent. "Proceed with caution," is my answer.

TuMeManques · Answer

I wouldn't even consider dating a guy who has been with half that many girls.

vishna · Answer

If my 22 year old boyfriend had slept with over 100 people, that'd be a huge turn off.  I'd be afraid of STD's. And I probably wouldn't sleep with him until he got tested.

deraz24 · Answer

It does bc it says a lot ab the person as well like wtf were you doin where you felt the need to do all these people, have they nvr been in a relationship

BobbyD1982 · Answer

It's a large number, but that's all it is. I'd be more concerned with if they have a history of cheating or a history of short term toxic relationships.

anaspie · Answer

Nope not at all... as long as it's in the past I have no control over it and no care in the world all that maters is how many partners he/she has after me

xxmamichulaxx · Answer

Yes it definitely would , I dont think I'd be open to being with someone with over 15 body count at my age, so 100+ would be too much for me to be comfortable with

musicbrain5 · Answer

That would put me right off. More than 10 is even a turn off.

danyalovettie44 · Answer

YES, it matters because of STD's and believe it or not, the number of people you've slept with does affect your current relationship!

Pendy14 · Answer

No, I wouldn't really bother but I wouldn't have sex with him too quickly to make sure I'm not just another girl.

DaniaMQ · Answer

Wth... 100+? How can someone have nothing else to do expect for sleeping around with more than 100 girls. To me it does matter, a lot. Sooo... XD

Does it matter how many people you've slept with?

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