Is it normal for my boyfriend to curse and degrade me whenever he gets angry about anything?

[Anonymous]

It's not possible to confront him about anything (no matter how small the issue is) without him threatening to harm himself. He'll curse at me and degrade me, in public and in private. We've been together for nearly two years now. In the beginning he was great to me, that didn't last longer than a month though. I didn't know at the time but he was still flirting with other girls, including his exes. When I try to talk to him about anything that bothers me he starts getting nasty with me. He puts me down and really treats me like garbage. I fell for him in the beginning because he seemed so genuine and sweet, now I'm wondering if his behavior is all sub-consciously pointing to the end of our 'relationship.' He was the first guy I ever really let get close, whereas he has been in a handful of relationships (the majority of which ended because he either cheated on the girls or they cheated on him). He says he wants to marry me and have a family someday. He blames his bad ways on feeling depressed. He also lies a lot, even about the pettiest things. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel like I have any say anymore, I don't want him to commit suicide, I love him; he just doesn't respect me. I feel as if I'm the only one in the relationship the gives a damn. What do I do?

Updates

+1 y

I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of him committing suicide, he's attempted it in the past...my friends see our relationship as a misery loves company situation. I'm blindly optimistic and fear I'd be throwing away something fixable=/

[_Ciarra_]

Honestly girl, I say get out of there. if he is saying that he will harm himself and commit suicide,tell him you will tell someone. and if he truly loves you he wouldn't put you through that and that suicide is a selfish thing. one of my counselors told me that majority of people who say they are going to commit suicide,dont actually do it. they know that you care for them so much, and it is there way of making you do things or hurting you. also,it still needs to be taken seriously if he has attempted before. I also say get out of there,because it is a mentally abusive relationship. he uses what he knows hurts you to get what he wants and make him be the victim. this is not a good relationship to be in it can leave permanent damage to your mental preference. it may be hard, but after two years I think you should break it off because it doesn't matter how long you've already dealt with this, you can't deal with it any longer let alone the rest of your life.

good luck to you:]

[Asker]

Thanks hun, I appreciate the advice. I suppose I should try to ease him out of the relationship by 'taking a break' maybe after some time passes he'll grow accustomed to not having me around...

[_Ciarra_]

Yeah that would be a safer way:]

[Anonymous]

Get your self esteem up and stop putting up with that. If he kills himself its not your fault. well adjusted people w/o issues don't commit suicide. I fail to see how you would be responsible for his suicide if he did kill himself. oh btw people who threaten to kill themselves rarely follow through. they get off on manipulating people to feel guilty so they will stick around out of fear and guilt. if he was so damn suicidal his anger and rage would be directed towards himself, not you. sorry but this man is gonna end up beating the sh*t out of you if you don't walk away now. you are not responsible for another person's actions but you damn sure are responsible for yours! you say you love him so much, you need to LOVE YOURSELF more and get out of this situation. he is not relationship material and you are wasting your time. don't stress out, get wrinkles and bad skin over this guy its not worth it. stress makes you age faster and get ugly

[CynicalSam]

Leave him! Jeez why is it even a question. Just read some of the guy questions on this site, the world is full of nice guys who want to treat you good, but they don't know how to approach women like you. Stay away from the assholes and find one of the nice guys.

[Asker]

The thing is he knows I could easily be with someone that will treat me right, I'm having a hard time figuring out if he cares or not though.

[Anonymous]

If he is doing that he no longer respects you, he might despise you or have other issues, bringing your self esteme down etc...