Boyfriend a Bad Communicator?

I'm not able to communicate with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now. Yes, he's always had this issue so its not like I didn't know about it however, now that we are in the middle of a serious relationship, it bothers me.

Example: I walked in the room tonight and he quickly backed out of whatever he was doing on his phone. I asked him if everything is OK with us to try and begin talking about what I was feeling. He responded by asking me why I would ask that. I told him that the fact that he backed out of his phone when I walked in the room seemed sneaky. He instantly began telling me that I'm childish, tossed the phone at me, and told me to go ahead and check it out myself. He also said that if he wants to go f*ck someone else he'll make sure to tell me. I appreciate his honesty however, I don't feel that he should respond with all of this. It makes the situation worse.

Anytime that I have a question that shows a tad of insecurity (which we all have) he blows up at me, calls me names, and turns the issue to me and how I'm the childish one. Keep in mind that I'm not raising my voice.

I'm not sure what to do. Any advice will be helpful. Thanks!

I do trust my boyfriend and he has never given me any reason not to trust him. Me being female and too inquisitive for my own good sometimes I have the tendency to ask questions well, to get answers. What goes through my brain, comes out my mouth.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In many cases a person who is a bad communicator is actually afraid of what you may think of them.

    You have no idea how many couples I have seen this with. One, the other, or both are terrified that something they say will just be too much for the other to handle.

    Look...this is not something you are going to get the help you need on a web site. It sounds to me like it has become "normal" behavior, and that is going to require outside help.

    If he isn't willing, then as much as I wish I wasn't the bearer of bad news...he ain't the right guy for you.

    What good is it going to do to stay? Can you deal with this for the rest of your life?

    Even if he won't go, you still can. Do it for yourself.

    • I ended up leaving 7 months ago, and after much time to think... it was the right decision.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Hmm...well that is a tricky one. The almighty cell phone issues. That again, another grey area in relationships. Is that something that happens often? Does he often leave the house to go "somewhere" or hang out with his "friends"? Do you have reason to believe something is going on? Has he giving you a reason to no trust him? Backing out of a cell phone, though suspicious does not justify that something is going on, once again that would be almost anyone's intuition. At this point you have to ask yourself, is there other things going on right now that would give you a reason not to trust him.

  • well I got to hand it to you, nowadays women are so picky that they break up with men at the first sign of trouble. "you left a tissue on the bathroom floor, that's it its over."


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