Communication issue with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I tried to have a conversation with my boyfriend about our communication because I wanted him to check up on me more often when we are apart. This was the first time I told him how I felt about the whole situation but he told me I was overthinking and complaining and how I was trying to create dramas. And he said he pays all his attention to me when we are together but when we are apart, he has things to do to focus on. I understand what he said but sometimes I don’t like how he just goes the whole day without checking up on me.

I feel like I wasn’t really being understood. As much as he wants to be understood, I wanted to be understood. And I tried all my best to understand him better. I tried to communicate for us to understand each other But all he could say was if I keep doing this, I’m only gonna push him away.. I feel like he wants somebody who is just there for him without saying anything negative.

I’m feeling so bad right now,

is this relationship worth it? Should I just stop putting my efforts in it? I feel so distant. I just wanted him to care about me more. I don’t understand why he takes it as a complaint.. I feel like he’s getting tired of me already..

[Gibbons44]

I don't think you can change that by talking. The level of interest is what it is. You can shape up to be sexier - unless you are already a 10/10, but that takes time.
Beyond that it's a question of both how intetested and how ready one is. Males have a huge deal of responsibility to desl with that females do not. As such, he really could be focusing (my work is a total bitch in that regard, requires complete absense of other thoughts). He could also be working to better his life and find a bettdr girl.
Contrary to female obliviousness to it - most males are well aware of where they are at in life and do nkt expect the planet to revolve around them like girls believe is their basic human right.
If he loves you, he'll be available. If not, you wanting or negging, to my knowledge, only makes you a control freak/selfish/greedy - the things females often immediatelly break up for (at least those who, wronly, believe they get to call all shots in a relationship; that would be enslavement and abuse - again, something many girls think is their god given right).

[Wise4myage]

I think you need to find yourself some interests outside of your relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is he wants his space when you’re apart and you want him to stay in touch. Your request isn’t unreasonable and most couples do check in when they’re apart. That’s been my experience anyway. This is just something the two of you aren’t compatible on and he appears unwilling to budge. You’re either going to have to learn to live with some distance or move on and find a boyfriend who is more engaged with you. There’s no shame in deciding a relationship doesn’t work for you.

[LazerBean]

Split up and find someone you're compatible with.