The guy I'm dating is a bad communicator- should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

We live in a world where we can easily reach out to someone we care about. Usually if someone doesn't prefer texting, they will opt for calling someone on the phone. This guy I have been dating is a terrible communicator when we aren't together (in person he is amazing). He has never really admitted to this besides claiming one time that he is "bad at texting" and "sometimes oblivious to things".

In the first few dates this was fine (and maybe refreshing) to not have to talk to someone 24/7. But I am starting to get a little confused by it now. When we are together he is always talking about how much he adores me, and I can tell that he really does mean it! The only time he reaches out to me is when he is planning a date. But when I don't see or hear from him in a week it makes me lose interest because I feel like if he really did adore me the way I do him then he would WANT to talk to me. Even if it is just a quick text asking me how my day was, or a quick call saying he is thinking about me.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? I have never dealt with a guy who doesn't enojoy communicating at least a TINY bit in between dates. He is definitely not that busy.

[cheesesteak7]

I wouldn't be WORRIED, but it could be a red flag for a variety of reasons.

- he could be communicating w/ OTHER girls during those week down times
- he may not REALLY be interested, but only acting to be in person
- he may actually be bad at communicating or expressing his feelings or just making "small talk" through technology, in which case could be reflective of his overall awareness level (as you said, he even admitted he's oblivious to things) or sensitivity.

However, YOU could text him to chat.

But I have to ask a few things:
- how long have you guys been dating?
- How serious is it?
- Are there possible REASONS you've laid down as to why he doesn't text, i. e. during your dates, you say your plans for the next few days, so he just decides to not text you since you're busy

[Asker]

Thank you!! I honestly believe it is the last one, normally at the end of each date we plan the next date. We have only been dating for two months. I just wonder if it will change when we get serious.

[cheesesteak7]

it may. I can see where this guy is coming from. Keep it casual while still in "dating" or courting phase. Then once it's serious, then "reward" her by actually talking every day, expressing himself, etc.

It could be for his own protection. Or like I said, kind of like a reward for the woman, like thinking "we're exclusive/serious/official now? Okay, now I can really treat her like my gf", etc

[Asker]

I would love to "reward" him if he shows me good behavior :D But in all seriousness thanks for your responses, they have actually helped a lot. You should be writing a book on dating right now.

[cheesesteak7]

lol, thanks. it's a burden knowing as much as I do...

[Asker]

Oh wise one, spread your knowledge to us sheep. Haha.

[damionrain100]

You say he is a bad communicator- this is an indication that you are because good communicators don't criticize their partners like that. "He has never really admitted to this besides claiming one time that he is "bad at texting" and "sometimes oblivious to things". "- this only proves my point further You are wrong to feel this way.

[cheesesteak7]

logic in this response is respectable. but wrong.