Should I be upset that my boyfriend didn't get me anything for our 1 year anniversary?

Question

so yesterday it was our 1 year anniversary.
(a side note: we broke up 2 weeks ago coz I was a bitch towards him and so he ended things but we got back together a week later)
I made few things for him such as picture frame and decorated it, printed a collage of us and put it in the frame, i made him cards of "why i love you" and I got him his favorite cologne, and his favorite chocolates. 
So anyway, he picked me up and he took me to our favorite restaurant and he paid for it.
He goes "order whatever you want"
Then after dinner, he asked where I want to go next (e. g. a long drive or whatever) and we decided to go to this park that we always go to and we went to get hot chocolate and sat there and chilled.
I told him "Im so upset you didn't get me anything. At least a bunch of flowers would be good"
and he replied "I always show my love to you. I even took you out to dinner and Im here right now. isn't that what matters? We spend time together. Another reason why I didn't get u anything is because when I got you things, you took advantage of me. But I do feel guilty I didn't get you anything after I saw everything you got me"
Should i be upset about this? Because Im reaaallly upset about it. I know I stuffed up our relationship and he's cautious now , but still.. he couldve given me flowers or card at least right?
Does this mean he doesn't care?

PrettyKitty31 · Accepted Answer

I pick c. A and b dont fit.
I think you're too upset about it. I think it sort of sucks that he didn't even get you a card but he's not wrong. He took you out and spent time with you. Do you need material things for him to prove his love for you? I'm not being bitchy, I'm being serious. For some people that's how they know they're loved. If this is the case tell him that in a non confrontational manner and do it after you've gotten over it or you're going to come off as a bitch and no one is going to be happy with that outcome.
There is this thing about love languages. And he sounds like he's more into quality time and you're more into gifts. (Not wrong, I'm the same way. I love getting a gift. Doesn't have to be anything major, could be something ridiculous, but it for me it shows when we were apart I was still on his mind.)
However, I think your anniversary and gifts should be taking a back seat to the situation at hand, the break up a few weeks ago. Something was bad enough to cause that and that's where you should be focusing now. Not on him not buying you flowers.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

I never understood the importance of a dating-anniversary, or a meeting-anniversary, or sex-anniversary. To me this is not an event that warrants gifts. It sounds like he already treated you, and I'm even shocked that that even happens! LOL And if it's true he treats you often, then you have a good relationship and shouldn't be upset over something like a dating anniversary gift. You can get more meaningful gifts spur of the moment than expecting them on dates you design to be important. Also, the feeling of expectation that you made/bought him something and got nothing isn't what relationships are about. Relationships are about giving and making each other happy. If he's not doing things to make you happy, that's another story - but it sounds like he tried in his own way. If nothing else, since this had happened, he might realize on your 2nd Dating Anniversary what you expect from now on and make it better. :)

LifeIsStrange13 · Accepted Answer

I completely get where you're coming from, I think that maybe you feel this way because of putting so much thought and effort into his gifts.
However he still took you out and treated you, some men would rather do something as opposed to get a material gift which you may not like. Probably because it creates a memory which will be with you forever.
I think it's something you should discuss beforehand though. I mean maybe agree on whether or not you're buying gifts for some occasions or just bring it up in conversation so you both know how you feel about it 😊

Bananaman177 · Accepted Answer

How funny would it be if this poor guy is totally sweet and nice to his girlfriend every single day, but he gets in trouble for not keeping track of a fucking stupid random date?

But a lot of girls really are that way. They expect you to be psychotically obsessed with arbitrary details, like an anniversary, but not other details, like, "Oh, we first met on a Tuesday, that means every Tuesday is our special day, forever and ever. 'Kay?"

There's a REASON why "guy forgets wife's anniversary" is a huge stereotype, okay? Our brains work different from yours, we're good at keeping track of different types of shit. Not anniversaries in particular.

I've got an idea, why don't you TELL me when it's our "anniversary?" Give me 24-48 hours notice, and then see what I can do.

Oh, is that not "romantic" enough for you?

Losalt · Accepted Answer

Things don't matter, people do.
If you react this badly to not getting gifts from people then you honestly shouldn't get any.
After all, what's the point of gifts if they essentially become automatic and expected?
He tried to give you the gift of a good experience instead, honestly that's a better gift then any chocolate or pictures ever could be in my view.
Try to change your point of view.
This guy is choosing to spend the limited amount of time he exists with *you* of all people on this planet.
Be thankful for that as it's one of the most precious things he can ever give you.

Wonderer89 · Answer

The thing is, when there are arguments and it creates a larger rift in the relationship it makes people hesitant to go all in afterwards. I'd be a little more understanding in this situation simply because things had been bad prior to the anniversary - tbh I probably would have done the same as getting gifts makes it seem all lovey and perfect but in reality it's still fractured and that is where the focus should be for a few months

Kimpossible · Answer

I don't think you should be upset because men and women have different ideas when it comes to anniversaries. He cares without a doubt but maybe he's just not a flowers and card type of guy. Its the little things that count he took you out on your anniversary he wanted to spend time with you in the end that's all that matters.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not like he forgot to be honest. He did take you out for dinner as you mentioned and paid for it. I think this was a lovely gesture of love on his behalf considering the fact you guys have had some relationship issues where you broke up and got back together. I would be quite happy with dinner and time spent together for sure. A relationship is not about what you get try to remember that, you should focus on giving, he will focus on giving and then you are both receiving.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

No you should not have been upset, his anniversary gift to you was taking you out on a date to a restaurant and then he paid for both meals. So you both exchanged anniversary gifts. I think he cares, it's just he had a different idea than flowers and a card

Lelaila · Answer

Most men aren't as romantic as you want them to be.

My guy doesn't give me gifts, and even forgets when we started dating. The fact that he's with me aftee all these years is enough celebration for us 😂 Same goes for most of the men I know (who has a partner).

alice55 · Answer

Do couple really celebrate 1 years relationship? I though they didn't do that anymore.
You shouldn't be upset, it's not a big deal. Honestly I would be very surprised if a guy remember the 1 years anniversary date (guys in my country always forget important date, more important than that).

Catskills · Answer

1 year, Congrats!!

I think what matters the most,, he is into you? Sometimes younger guys were never mentored to understand certain dates in the calendar.

If that is the case, he may not even have remembered Valentines Day,, hopefully he remembered.

Go easy on him, if this relationship lasts, with your helpful reminders, those days will become significant to him!!

Justacatlady · Answer

He took you to dinner and is spot on when he says he shows you how much he loves you. How much he buys you isn't love. Its materialistic BS. You're expectations are far beyond what he is and that isn't fair to him. Just because you do something for him doesn't mean he HAS to do it for you.

Beatamarea · Answer

He has a point what does it matter? Don't forget he left and he left because of YOU and could've stayed gone. Be grateful he even decided to give your bitchy ass another chance. He also took you out and paid. That's just as good as a damn homemade card, letter and cologne. He could've easily complained and said "I'm mad you could've got me a 3some or some head in the park after the way you treated me". After that shit show of behavior you didn't even deserve anything for this anniversary. And even afterwards proving you still don't.

Paguy1219 · Answer

If he didn't take you out, sure, you should be upset. Even though he took you out he probably should've gotten you flowers or something but I wouldn't be too upset. Besides, you should be more excited to spend time with him than about receiving a gift. Kinda makes you sound a little shallow and self centered.

POTAYTOPOTAHTO · Answer

No you shouldn't be upset. Taking someone out IS a gift so yeah, he did get you something. Your gift to him just took more prior arrangement.

ShubhamRKanojia · Answer

well after reading this all I think you are guilty because he loves you a lot that why he spent whole day with you because he knew how much effort you have done for this. but you want some silly stuffs not your​ partners love

Lone_J · Answer

People show their love in different ways, maybe you want him to show you love by him giving you gifts but the way he shows his love is spending time with you and taking you to places you want to go. But yea, you still shouldn't be upset.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, if I was him I would have gotten you something, but based on what he said I don't think he's a total jerk. I get that you're upset, so just make it clear to him that showing affection in the form of gifts every once in a while is important to you, and I'm sure he'll get you something.

Anonymous · Answer

So you got a from the sound of it awesome date after the guy takes you back, and you have the balls to be upset for not getting flowers? Tell the guy to break it off, he deserves better.

MikkiM · Answer

Hmm well there is next time, u could tell him that

Of course after all your effort with ur gift,

At least he could have given u even a really2 small token of appreciation

Its part of relationship challenges u have nothing to worrief about

TheUglyMonk · Answer

So you prefer a card & some flowers *which are dying anyway* over a night out with to spend time with him and all the food you can get?
Tell him, I'm sure it'll save him the trouble of being thoughtful with you in the future.

NormaTavish · Answer

No because you shouldn't be basing importance on what you get out off a relationship in that sense.

rivjanel · Answer

I don't believe in anniversary, Valentine's or even birthday gifts. Besides, he remembered your anniversary and took you to dinner.

LittleSally · Answer

From what I can tell in there... I don't understand why he's with you... So if you're feeling neglected then just become a sugar baby... sounds like that's something you'd be into, honestly...

Should I be upset that my boyfriend didn't get me anything for our 1 year anniversary?

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