Is it weird that I'm not jealous of my boyfriend at all? He thinks I don't care?

[Anonymous]

I'm a very laid back person and I don't really get jealous of my boyfriend. I love and trust him but if he ever breaks that trust, I'll leave, it's simple as that. I don't really have time to be jealous and stalk his girl friends online or be paranoid about who he's with.

I'm definitely not a cold person though, I'm really affectionate to him and give him a lot of attention, I just don't get jealous as it's not part of my personality. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks this is a sign that I don't care about him but I've explained I really do I'm just not obsessed with his whereabouts and his friends.

Long story short I don't know what to do. I just can't fake jealousy it's just not me. And although we talked and I'm affectionate he thinks I don't care.

Updates

+1 y

Regardless of whether jealousy is healthy or not, it's just not my thing. I can't fake it either. I wanted to know what I could do or tell him.

[Astoriana]

It sounds like he is very insecure.

Your mentality is healthy - he has given you no reason not to trust him, and so you do. I don't think that you should change.

It seems to me that he has been in so many unhealthy relationships that he believes jealousy is normal and healthy. It isn't. I think you need to have an honest and frank conversation about that. "I am not a jealous person. I trust you. I care about you, but I am not going to change who I am for you. You can take it or leave it." Or something of that nature.

[kraft413]

a little jealousy is healthy actually

[Astoriana]

@kraft413 I disagree completely. Jealousy is a poison. It has no beneficial purpose.

[kraft413]

it's purpose is to show one partner in a relationship feels the relationship could be threatened by something or someone. if you can't talk about jealousy in your relationship you shouldn't be in a relationship

[Astoriana]

@kraft413 i don't get jealous for the same reasons as OP. I trust my partners. Do you?

[kraft413]

single as a Pringle but personally I don't trust anyone as far as I could throw them

[Astoriana]

@kraft413 not a healthy attitude, darling. Consider seeing a therapist.

[kraft413]

already do baby

[kraft413]

and I think it's perfectly healthy. we live in a dangerous world. you should know that by now

[Astoriana]

@kraft413 you may consider finding a new one, as this one is not helping you sufficiently.

[NaomiTT]

Jealousy comes naturally.. I think a little bit is healthy but I guess you can't fake it if it's genuinely not there. I get super paronoid sometimes I be checking his phone and questioning him lol I think he thinks I'm a loser or obsessed but I don't care I wanna know everythingggggg... Your a strong girl! 😊

[Prof_Don]

in my opinion he has probably had jealous girlfriends in the past, so he is conditioned to think that is normal.

He just never had a mature young woman like you before!

[Prof_Don]

@update

He will soon learn and understand that the girls he was with were immature, and that you can not be jealous AND love him to bits