Ignoring a girl a good move or bad?

[Anonymous]

If you like a girl a lot and want her as your girlfriend but you have trouble approaching her even though you talked to her before, will ignoring her make her crazy for the guy?
Would you ignore her or try to be friendly?

Imma can't be friendly with her as I have intense feelings for her and there was a lot of sexual tension and passionate eye contact by the way us so unless I confess how much I like her, I cannot be her friend. Lovers first friends after is my goal.

Opinions?

Updates

+1 y

I have real issues talking to her. I get tongue tied and can't say anything. I don't know what to say! she's so pretty that it just gags me..

Updates

+1 y

We weren't going to see each other for 2 months and she didn't ask me out so imma thought ignoring would be better since nothing happened 😞

Updates

+1 y

I'm back home :/ I feel she no longer likes me. I just saw her roam around with her friends. Did notice that she kept looking around like u know in the crowds, towards the areas students enter the university even when in conversation with people :/

[zxcded]

Don't take too much pride that's why sometimes it doesn't workout because either the girl/boy lost will lose interest from the confusing mind games/ mixed signals. Just say hey first she would be surprised and happy that you still care about her :) for example with my more than friend crush, we both like each other and if he's playing hard to get that's a turn off, I feel confused and most likely would just move on, well yesterday I set proud aside and talked to him first he was so happy. Was waiting four days that butthole made me wait, well because both of us had too much pride😅

[zxcded]

Heck ya it'll make her go crazy inside.. If you like her freaking tell her!

[LalaIbby90]

She's going to think you hate her or are not interested in her. If there's sexual tension and passionate eye contact as you describe, then why not tell her? Clearly she feels the same way to a certain degree. By you avoiding is firstly so cruel and unfair, is actually going to make any secure girl upset or angry. She will resent you if you've 'shared chemistry' together and then suddenly went ape shit ignoring her. She's not going to chase you, she's going to get upset and then move on. So if you have feelings go tell her. Are you scared to talk to her?

[LalaIbby90]

Based on your update I can see how she may have interpreted your inability to speak as you're just not into her and hence why she didn't ask you out (if she had the intentions of doing so). But how does she act around you? Does she get tong tied like you or ignores you too?

[Asker]

She doesn't seem nervous around me. She smiled at me twice but I was mesmerized and kept staring at her and she looked away.. She always watches me. like holding my gaze but I reckon she feels shy cuz after a while of eye contact she looks away...

she initiated conversation with me.. and she seemed willing to talk more but I kinda messed up...

[LalaIbby90]

I won't lie to you given I am the objective party here. I don't know how old this girl is but generally from a girls perspective she is (or was) totally into you. Most girls particularly those "sweet ones" will not give a guy the time of the day, let alone watch you, make eye contact and initiate talks with you. She was really trying from her end seems like it but unfortunately she got silence from your end and that's going to make any girl feel crappy or semi-rejected. I know you said she's pretty and she's not nervous around you, but if a girl is falling for you, she will most likely be shy because she wouldn't know how to act around you and it'll be hard for her to know how you feel if all she got was silence and glances here and there. The best way was to talk back when she attempted to talk to you (face to face or messaging). Sucks but we've all been there. But hope this helped for future involvement with girls!

[Asker]

She looks young but she's actually 26 years old (older than me by 2 years). I know she tried.. I talked to her cuz she started asking me about my stuff and she shook my hand too :( I touched her too and we got to know each others names but I dunno what gripped me.

We really had intensive eye contact and there was a lot of sexual tension. She even smiled at me but I kinda ruined everything.

I didn't acknowledge her presence in front of friends so I'm damn sure she was hurt. But my actions were proof I really wanted her...

Will she continue liking me cuz I still do and hope to meet her soon.

[LalaIbby90]

So I am guessing you left somewhere for the 2 months, but did you not acknowledge her existence in front of friends before you left? How often were these "intensive eye contact" did you always make eye contact with her or did you get shy and sometimes look away? Because to you it may seem like it was so obvious you liked her, but you kind of have to see it from her POV and she may have received mixed signals and out of fear of rejection she didn't pursue anything. I don't know whether she will continue (every person is different), but if she's tried talking to you/ texting you/ messaging you and you haven't said anything/ replied/ did not make the conversation go on... she may have thought you're not into her and possibly will move on and be more careful when you meet next time, it may make her more distant when she sees you because she probably got butt-hurt over all of this ignoring thing no matter how sweet she is. How long ago did you not see this girl, couple weeks or days?

[Asker]

No I never removed my gaze. I just couldn't. I dont know what gripped me but since the day I saw her (we had gaps in between seeing each other like max 4-5 days) I could not keep my eyes off her.

I kept staring at her the whole time I saw her until she probably got shy and would look away or if I was called by someone. If she didn't look away I guess our eye contact would last at least 2-3 minutes but she wouldn't hold it for long.

I only saw her over a span of 2 weeks. And yeah I didn't acknowledge her near my friends cuz I was a bit pissed that she didn't ask me out & also cuz I didn't wanna tell anyone. Already I was caught by one of my guy friends & I didn't wanna tell them anymore.

[LalaIbby90]

+++ Also don't be too hard on yourself. Clearly you had the right intentions and seems like you really like her. Loss of words and not knowing how to act in front of her is normal especially if you're really attracted to her. She had you dumbstruck and that's really cute (my opinion!)

[Asker]

I keep seeing her in my dreams ever since I haven't seen her! I don't know what it means..

[LalaIbby90]

Just something to think about, what if she was waiting for you to make a move? Maybe she was bummed that you didn't ask her out? She may have wanted to go out with you but was waiting for you to say something. The dream thing may be related to the fact that you probably can't stop think about her, probably miss her and there's a lot of unresolved feelings hence the dreaming. If you guys had that sexual tension and the intense eye contact, I think she would've been thinking about you too. This happened a year ago where one of my friends started crushing on this guy at work who showed interest too. So he would apparently look at her and talk but other times he would go radio silent. Anyways they had a chemistry similar to your story and the guy ended up moving jobs but before he went, she really thought he would ask her out but he didn't. All he did was ignore her after. She was butt-hurt and thought she was played with and moved on.

[Asker]

I know she expected me but I had no courage. I tried to act cool and confident and it worked I guess? She came to me but I fucked up.

I dunno I really don't think of her all the time. But yeah I have seen her in my dreams like 9-10 times & I doubt its just cuz of unresolved feelings? Because I ve had relationships before & never experienced this

[LalaIbby90]

It did work considering she STARTED talking to you and asking things about you and wanting the convo to go on. So yes in a way it did work (bonus points for you!!). If we're being honest with one another, did you fear rejection?
It seems like she's different to your previous relationship. Something about this girl is different to the other girls you've been with. I feel like you're borderline in love with this girl and it's not just a huge crush despite knowing so little about her (not even friends).

[Asker]

No not rejection. Actually I was really impatient. I wanted her immediately & then I kinda fucked up & resolved in ignoring her. We did lock eyes even after I ignored her but yeah I was being silly.

I just had no courage at all. I dunno if she ever thought I was creepy becoz I stared at her so hard. It was love at first sight kinda of thing. I mean I saw her from a distance the first time, she was not super near me yet I could not stop looking at her.

I practically know nothing of her. I just know that she is of a different country and religion. And her name & age.

[LalaIbby90]

A lot of girls like guys (especially if they like him back) to look at them. It makes us feel good and happy on the inside. We may never admit it, but it's true to many girls. Once you're not looking, we smile to ourselves (like idiots!) and we totally day dream about that stare!!
Given you know so little about her and I'm guessing she knows so little about you too, no wonder she was asking stuff about you, she was genuinely curious and probably really wanted to know you. Damn!!
The fact that she still locked eyes with you after IGNORING her... man she's... yeah she had it for you no doubt. She's probably doubting herself or confused as to where she stood with you!
Super cool that she's from a different country and religion, makes things more interesting, aye?

[LalaIbby90]

Also was there a reason why you didn't want your friends to know that you like her?

[Asker]

Yeah when I ignored her earlier cuz I was with my friend later on I saw her coming and I stared at her and she looked back. it was always funny how I could easily spot her out of the sea of people. We even had this staring contest from a distance before we talked when she was quite a few feet away and sitting with friends & I saw her & she saw me too and we both kept looking..

Actually I have a reputation. I'm known for being very academically bent/welfare leader of world issues so it was not the best course of action for me to let pple know im tilting towards romance.

When i talked to her it was just both of us. I guess she was also comfortable alone cuz she wouldn't approach with pple around me. She saw me alone & hopped over.

[LalaIbby90]

You being academically bent makes a whole lot of sense as to why not wanting others to know. But that girl knows how to choose, looks like she's into smart guys.
With everything you're telling me what you guys had was strong. Yes you guys barely knew stuff about each other but there was hundred per cent attraction from both ends. You both found each other physically appealing and clearly wanted one another. When girls find guys attractive you'll notice they'll look you in the eye but sometimes their eyes will hover to your lips and that's a dead give away she's physically attracted to you. She also sounds confident enough to approach you but is also worried about what others are going to say/think about her, if she only pops up to speak when alone. She may have similar worries, maybe academically maybe not. But she seems like she's conscious about when to talk to you and how she may look if she appeared to like you... you're both conscious of it...

[LalaIbby90]

also that staring contest she was doing between you and her... that's her flirting with you and wanting your attention without saying anything.

[Asker]

That's what hurts. At least she tried and I fucked up. I guess my impatience got the worse of me. We did have it really intense and it was only 2 weeks! I dunno if we had more time , we would have been something. There was something in her can't explain. I always found myself blatantly staring in her eyes and face.

Now I'm unsure if she still feels the same. All I get is constant dreams.

[Poppykate]

Then maybe you need to talk to her! Stop ignoring her.

[LalaIbby90]

The only way to know is to talk to her and try to be friends. Not sure when you'll see her or if you have her number or have her on social media etc. But it's to start with a "Hey, how have you been?" And slowly go from there. It's friends then lovers. Not the other way around. If you choose not to talk, most likely nothing will happen considering she probably hasn't contacted you and feels too rejected to even try. Do you have the courage to start with chatting?

[LalaIbby90]

Also 99% of your "relationship" with this girl is based on staring at each other. What's missing is communication. You're away now and aren't able to see her so that staring element is gone. Hence the need to talk.

[Asker]

I'm unsure if she will even talk to me. It bugs me. Thinking she will most likely remember how I treated her but I'm hoping she still has some love left to speak to me.
I just didn't know what to say that why I was having so many problems in starting conversations. I have no problem with other girls and even in past I have hooked up with girls no problems but when she came, it was suddenly as if I knew nothing.

[LalaIbby90]

She did lock eyes with you after you ignored her. You did have that passionate eye contact (not sure if that's when you started to ignore her or not). The fact that she's still locked eyes with you and that she did try is a bonus on your end. I just want to ask did she initiate conversation or was willing to talk both face to face and messaging? I know you went tongue tied face to face, but did she ever message you or try to connect and you didn't reply or was very short with messaging and didn't show any interest to continue conversation? Because that would give me a better picture as to whether she will or not.

[LalaIbby90]

Also subjects to talk about after you find out if she's been well are things that are likely going to make you bond with her (finding out her interests). Show her something funny for example or ask her if she has movie recommendations (like you're bored an unsure what to watch and wanting her opinion about food movies) that will spring discussion. Or if it's face to face compliment her - tell her she's wearing a nice shirt / or her hair looks beautiful / or even that she smells nice. You kept saying you look her in the eye and face so I'm guessing you find her eyes or face very attractive, compliment her and if you find it hard to do it boldly maybe do it in a jokey way like "I kept wondering what the nice smell was!" And she may say "what smell" and you can say "you". Or something around the lines of her making your dad better just by seeing her. But yes knowing how you guys engaged previously (my previous comment) is important to know how she'll act

[Asker]

She didn't ask for my no. I guess she was very shy and I didn't ask ether. That's why I was so pissed. We had only met properly that day and all we got to know was each others names.

[Asker]

It all went downhill. And after that I started ignoring her. But we still had something cuz we kept noticing each other when we were around. It sucks

[Asker]

She is really pretty and her eyes are really big and doe like. I loved seeing them.

[LalaIbby90]

I still can't believe you expected her to ask for your number (let alone ask you out) after talking to her once. Unless she was so confident and bold, that would never happen. It does suck. But the expectation on your end was a little too high - as you said impatient. If you don't have her number then that just means whenever you see her again, you'll neeed to go in to talk about anything random no matter how lame it may seem. Can't promise she wouldn't move on, but what options do you really have?

[Asker]

Do u think after all we had, she will forget her feelings for me?

[LalaIbby90]

I honestly can't tell you. Because I don't know how much she was into you. It does seem like she really had it for you and wanted you to make a move but the silence thing tripped her out and ignoring her would've hurt her and made her feel either shitty or doubt what you had. But if her feelings were strong, she may not necessarily get over them quickly - it just depends. You said she's pretty (sounds like she is) and I'd hate to say this but there will be guys who will attempt to flirt with her and if she does meet someone else, then who knows. I kind of have an epic topic for you to start with her and that's showing genuine curiosity around her country and religion - it would show you want to know more about her and her background. It'll make her know you're thinking deeply about her. Out of curiosity and you don't have to answer this what country/religion is she from?

[LalaIbby90]

Stumbled upon this question on this website (girls ask guys) and thought might make you feel better (most girl wrote their crushes last for months to a year): "how-long-do-you-girls-crush-on-guys"

[Asker]

Hey sorry wasn't online. I am glad to hear that girls don't lose their crushes easily. I hope she comes around.
My thought was I was going to leave and nothing could happen between us so I got pissed & decided to ignore her cuz I wasn't going to see her. Though I tried to get her attention & I saw she looked at me & then she looked away & we kept giving each other glances.

The day I left a friend of mine who caught me staring at her told me that she was briefly looking at the entrance of the main college building..

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah. Pretty sad that nothing happened between you two despite so much chemistry / sexual tension and all that staring. I'm a sucker for romance and when two people clearly want each other but there's miscommunication / lack of - it's such a shame. Like you guys sound so cute together but seems like you just lacked courage and she lacked courage too / was not 100% sure how you felt. I do hope you guys end up talking and something springs out of this, whether it's you building up courage to say hey and talk or whether she comes around and tries again to see if you have feelings for her. If you leaving was recent then her feelings may be strong and she's most likely thinking about you. Just take it from someone who has been through this, if you have intense feelings for this chick face your fears and challenges because you may never know if she's the one to put a smile on your face everyday.
Good luck!!!

[Asker]

Thanks a lot! I'm glad someone finds us cute together. Otherwise the rest were saying miserable things about the whole scenario

[LalaIbby90]

Not a problem. Don't worry about what everyone has to say, just follow your gut and heart. It's easy to judge when we don't know the whole story. At the end of the day even if nothing happens, what you guys shared together was still special and beautiful. Not being together isn't going to take that away.

[Poppykate]

Just go and talk to her. Send her an email or something. Just say hi, how have you been'. It will grow from there! 👍🏻

[Asker]

I do hope something happens. I don't know if she still thinks of me but I do and I don't know know why. I would get over someone but I don't know I just don't. I miss her so much some days it gets painful.
I don't know even believe in soulmates but I kinda get that kind of vibes from this whole incident.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate Love how you suggested email instead of Facebook or IG message 😝😝

[LalaIbby90]

My god that soulmate comment on point though. I don't believe in soul mates either despite the whol helpless romantic but I do believe people meet each other for a reason. That's the vibe I got off your messages, you guys met each other for a reason and we're head over heels for one another looks like from the start. I'll let you on a little girls secret, if you're thinking about her I can assure you with everything she's tried to do, she's thinking about you and most likely misses you. She seens to have liked you a lot and we don't just casually 'forget' someone we shared sexual tension with and intense eye contact with. Unless she's a cold hearted bitch or a player. Which I'm guessing she isn't. But yeah you guys seemed like fate

[Poppykate]

I believe in soul mates. But not in the ' I can't live without you- 90s idea of soulmates'. More of a deep connection that can't be explained type of connection. I wish the two of you the very best of luck!

[Poppykate]

I also agree with what @Lalalbby90 said! 👍🏻

[Asker]

yeah cuz we met each other unexpectedly and within 2 weeks it was all so intense and like this crazy pull that kept bringing us together.
I didn't really looked at this from a spiritual point of view but the more I thought of it , the more I felt something different about our situation.
On top of it I kept seeing her in my dreams and frankly speaking she's the only one I saw so many times in my dreams even though I have been in serious relationships & not even fantasized or dreamt much about my exes.

I really don't know what this meant or means. In my heart I kinda consoled myself that its all over. Thought she'd pretty so she may find someone or may even lose all her feelings for me but I don't know the connection or whatever it is, say link or memories keeps refreshing itself...

[LalaIbby90]

Seems like you were hoping or thinking that after you leave and the ignoring happens that you'll eventually get over her and forget but it didn't work out that way. You ended up missing her a lot. Do you feel it's more painful when you dream about her and that dream is lingering in your head throughout he day so that "missing pain" comes kicking through a little harder?

There's definitely a deep connection between you two like @Poppykate described. Because your feelings for her isn't just a crush. I'm pretty sure you feel way more than that based on everything you've described.
Your friend the one that caught you - does he know you like her that way or did he just think you were checking her out? Coz he can mention your name casually in front of her and suss out her facial expression.

[LalaIbby90]

And also she seems different to the other girls you've been with. Have you thought about how this girl may be different to the other girls you've had relationships with?

[Asker]

The dreams I had, I always see her in them and then I tend to feel sad but I don't really understand why I see her frequently. The missing pangs comes out of the blue tbh. Sometimes I miss her so much, it makes me extremely miserable.

I think he knows i like her because he saw me looking at her twice and the first time I was talking to him while looking at her and he literally turned around to see whom I was looking at but he hasn't asked me anything.

[Asker]

Well the girls I had been with have all been my race/nationality/religion and I had okayish relationships with them. Yeah but she was the most beautiful of them all and there was something which had instantly hooked me towards her. I first saw her when she was faraway way from me and we just passed in front of each other and that was it for me. Something which never occurred with me.

[Poppykate]

Well there is really only one way to find out.

[LalaIbby90]

You're in love with her, it was the love at first sight. The whole missing pang, the dreams, the sexual tension and the staring it's deep feelings and you can't just get over them. Takes time. Also you talk about her and I get the feeling deep down it's as though you think "she's out of your league" (high school terms) but if deep down you feel that way, you shouldn't because there are dead giveaway signs that's she's into you as much as you're into her (maybe even stronger?). The dreams can be looked at from a subconscious POV where you desire her so much and it's not being fulfilled so your mind makes you dream of her OR it can be a bondage/link POV (fate/connection). Or both. I guess her beauty and this "connection" that led to deep feels is what is different - you may have never been in love truly until you saw her. I also thought we can use the friend to suss her our casually but he hasn't said anything but I agree probably knows you like each other.

[LalaIbby90]

Plus to add to the whole cute together thing - couple who are of different nationality/ religion / background are totally epic and cute.

[Asker]

Yeah I hope she still harbours feelings for me. Its ironical how my dreams are more like how we used to see each other.
We used to see each other for 2-3 days then there would be a gap of 4-5 days because I would be busy with the group work and wouldn't see her. Similar stuff happens that I see her 2-3 times in a week in my dreams then I don't see her for like 5-6 days.

I kinda knew her religion and ethnicity cuz of her looks and I have friends who belong to her country and I did have a backpack with symbols relating to her religion which she noticed when I brought it esp thinking of her when I got that to I don't know maybe make her feel comfortable to me

[LalaIbby90]

The only faith I can think of that can easily be identified just by looks is the Muslim faith (not that it's any of my business!!). But it's pretty cool how you know the symbols of her religion and all and it's a bonus you got friends of the same country so really you're not a total alien to her world considering you already know it subjected to her world through friends and some knowledge. Did she comment on the symbol or did you see her look at the bag? It's why previously I gave the advice of showing curiosity around background / religion because it'll start convo.

[Asker]

She isn't a Muslim but I'll leave it here. . yeah I saw her notice it. I saw her looking over and she saw it so I was kinda pleased she got something that tells her she can come closer without feeling like she's gonna feel out of place.

[LalaIbby90]

Hope you get to see her soon and she continues showing you that she likes you so that either of you make a move! If there's a way to talk to her online before seeing her - try and face your anxiety and message before it's too late! Good luck!

[LalaIbby90]

Also apologies for the "Muslim" assumption. I didn't mean to over-step. Just a curious bee here.

[Asker]

No its ok. I hope so too. I remember when we first talked I asked her if we ve met before. I'm a shit at convo starters but I asked her that & she said no. I got pissed at her reply. I guess my stupidity took the worst out of me

[LalaIbby90]

Seems like you got pissed at a lot of things. It makes me wonder and truly think (girls perspective) that she's in the same situation as yours, pissed and hurt that you didn't ask her out before you left. She most likely has no idea you feel so deeply about her and probably thinks you enjoyed checking her out while you were there and she's now forgotten. Bummer.

[Asker]

It's all messed up. I dont have any expectations but yeah don't wanna lose hopes

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah don't lose hope!! It is kind of messy, won't lie, but you guys are super cute so it's worth it I guess. Can I ask something which I keep forgetting to ask, why is it that you believe that the "asking out" bit (making a move) should be coming from her? Because it seems like you've been down since you haven't seen her and seems like you're not yourself completely?

[LalaIbby90]

what i mean by it is that what makes you think she's more likely the one to go for the move - if a move is made by either of you?

[Asker]

I'm not sure. I am normally really confident with girls but I didn't know what to say to her. We were strangers. No mutual friends NOTHING in common. Plus she was really beautiful so initially thought she may have a boyfriend until she started giving me looks and locking eyes with me and I got it she likes me so I was sure she was single and then I decided to flaunt myself.
I just wanted her to start first & she did & she was so natural with me as if she already knows me. Its just me who started the ignoring her game

[LalaIbby90]

Ahhh i guess her being confident/ comfortable around you made it seem like she would be the one to step in and make the bold move. Makes sense really except the ignoring most likely gave her the wrong message "no longer interested" - poor thing she probably freaked and didn't ask out. Have you ever tried to do a bold move considering you get so tongue tied like get all up in her personal space or look at her lips? You must've done something to make her feel so comfortable! :D If she does speak to you sometime soon or in the future (attempting to be friends), how do you plan on talking to her if you struggle to speak because of how much you like her?

[Asker]

I don't know why she felt comfortable but she normally started out by asking questions about the stuff I was advocating for.
I dunno what hit me. We locked eyes later that day after the convo and she always smiles so she smiled at me. We locked eyes after I ignored her and then I tried to act loud but it kinda backfired.

Well im gonna try to smile at least. I never smiled at her except when we first talked so yeah maybe that..

[Asker]

I did lie down next to her , when she was sitting on the grass, i was pretending to talk to a friend of mine on the phone lol if that's what you consider a bold move lol

[Poppykate]

She probably felt comfortable because you would smile at her!

[Poppykate]

So what did she do? This is getting juicy!

[Asker]

@Poppykate lol. She saw me. I acted as if I didn't do it intentionally and ignored her but she understood why I was doing it. She locked eyes with me, smiled but I acted dumb again 😢

[Poppykate]

Maybe she was checking you out! Seeing what you had to offer! 😉

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker Did you become loud or ignore her while talking to other female friends?
@Poppykate no doubt she's checked him out with all the staring!! 😏😏😏 Do you know of other guys who have ignored girls they like and if so do you know what was the outcome? In my experience if the guy ignores it's just to play hard to get, but usually will come around and talk and stuff. Not leave it stranded like this...

[LalaIbby90]

Also as I've said before I've been in something similar. I'm Lebanese and he's from Japan and we totally had this staring thing going on and we had the whole sexual tension thing. He ignored me too for a while and I thought he became disinterested maybe because of my background/religion. But ended up messaging me one day wanting to "know how I am going" and we just started talking. He's reasoning to ignoring me was because he thought I was out of his league, plus can't be with me because of difference in background/religion plus he was nervous and admitted to acting as an ass. We've been dating for an entire year. But eventually he came around so that's why @Poppykate not sure if you've seen guys similar to Asker.

[Asker]

No I wasn't loud with females around her. Only like u know acting cool so just with the people I knew and I do have friends who are girls but mostly I'm just either with my guy friends or alone.

It was just 2-3 days for me after we talked so i was even more mad that I had to return without talking to her

[Asker]

I admit I fucked up big time. I should have initiated talks instead of trying to get her attention

[LalaIbby90]

Oh oh I see! You were acting cool in front of her around your friends. Took a while for me to process haha! But that's normal you can't beat yourself up. We're all guilty of trying to act cool in front of our crushes!! Like we want their attention in any way. Okay if you were to say something to her now to explain how you fucked up or want to say how you truly feel or something that you've been wanting to tell her what would you say?

[Poppykate]

@Asker if she really likes you, you can't really stuff things up too much. Just stop ignoring her, and be nice to her. Things will work out. Don't over think.

[Asker]

Had I said something like asked her out or just tried to flirt with her we would be messaging and gotten close. Instead I was more interested in eyeing her and showing myself off in front of her. I wanted her to look at me so badly that I would even chat on the phone in front of her.

[Asker]

@Poppykate thanks hope so🙏

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah. I guess in this situation or any situation similar to this it's probably normal to feel hurt / annoyed because the idea that something could have potentially happened (mutual feelings between two people) and it didn't is shit as. If it makes you feel better, we feel shitty too when we think "will he ask me out" after like a deep stare and we would get pretty bummed if nothing happens. A lot of us girls will doubt and think it was all in our heads or weren't liked enough to be asked out (the latter hurts like a bitch). It's great you gave all of this a thought!

[Asker]

I dunno what happened but I would get so in grossed in her face that I couldn't stop staring and didn't understand how to start or what to say. I dunno how many times she felt I was a creep with me blatantly staring at her

[LalaIbby90]

But like that's a positive!!! That's what we want. We want to feel beautiful and appreciated. You looking at her was never a problem I can give you that. If anything that would have given her a hint you liked her (are least how she looked). This is where it gets confusing, she probably had an idea that you liked her face or looks, but not necessarily wanted a romantic relationship out of it. Does that make sense?
Although you've had previous relationships seems like they were nothing compared to this one. This one did a good one on you, it's like all the exprience with girls went out of the window

[Asker]

Yeah but I showed her I wanted her attention, wanted her to notice me being around her doing things. She got the clue but its all my fault. I can't blame her. I thought it was of no use since I was gonna go back & started playing games with her.

That's where I kinda get the soulmate thing. Cuz the attraction by the way us was so intense and we were purely strangers but the pull was extremely strong ever since we saw each other. That hurts.

[Asker]

*btw us

[LalaIbby90]

You played mind games with her 😮😮

[LalaIbby90]

Like I get the whole tongue tied thing and the whole ignoring because of nervousness and frustration that she didn't ask out... but playing mind games 😮😬

[Asker]

Mind games? How so?

[Asker]

I genuinely wanted her but it was a clear case of miscommunication. Me being easily annoyed. I didn't do any of the stuff to lead her on.

[Poppykate]

Then, lighten up!

[LalaIbby90]

You said "I started playing games with her" - so clearly not mind games, what did you mean?
And yeah, you kinda did get annoyed about a lot of stuff. I know it's because you wanted her to make a move or whatever was happening wasn't meeting your expectation, but do you usually get annoyed so quickly?

[Asker]

The ignoring one. I still had feelings for her and stared at her but pretended to ignore her.

Well tbh im pretty short tempered and I do get angry quickly. Once I got into an argument with a friend of mine on the phone and I started shouting on the phone and she saw me :/

[Poppykate]

If you really like this girl, you will need to control your temper.
Girls find it scary when guys get angry, they worry that it might be a Red Flag for domestic violence. Also, you need to stop ignoring her. She will think that you dont like her. You say that she is a nice girl. So don't play stupid mind games with her, trying to manipulate her to do things you want her to do. E. g. Make a move. If you want something to happen, you need to grow up and make the move yourself.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah I have to agree with @Poppykate.
Starting at her + having feelings for her and ignoring her is mind games. It leaves her with mixed messages, constantly thinking whether you're into her, feeling frustrated and confused. Not cool for her man. I said it earlier she would have felt played. She doesn't know what's going on inside of you if you haven't told her. Getting a hint isn't the same as telling someone you like them or being consistent at least with flirting/staring. Also controlling temper is heaps important if you ever want a relationship to last.
The chance of her ever making a move after ignoring her would have dropped because she would be so hesitant. I feel like you want things to happen instantly and if they don't you flip which isn't how it works :/ I'll tell you something, many girls that I know (I'm one of them) say: "If he likes me enough he'll get in touch and make the effort, if he doesn't then he's not worth it and was just having fun at the time." 😞😞

[Asker]

yeah I agree with you. I wanted things to happen instantly. I was unable to tell her I liked her so was expecting her & when she didn't I was pissed. Didn't intend to hurt her but we had no time to develop. I was only there for 5 days more and in those 5 days, I was assigned to look after some important work.

I'm trying cuz when she saw me shouting, I felt embarrassed and had to cut the call to calm down.

I know she must have felt that way but there are guys with problems approaching women. That should be taken into consideration...

[LalaIbby90]

Keep trying so that you won't have too many issues one day when you're in a relationship. Honestly!

Yeahhhhh... where you like that with the other relarionships, wanting it to be instant? Or is it just this one because she's beautiful + time limited because you were gonna leave?

Look I agree that should be taken into consideration and yes we're aware of shy guys out there and someone does need to make a move... but in this case like I said she either backed out last minute from telling you because you were ignoring her or that she expects the man to ask out and not the other way around.

[LalaIbby90]

Unless, you may have an idea as to why she didn't ask you out considering it feels like you really thought she would

[Asker]

No not really. The girls I dated or hooked up with went with the flow and I didn't bother much either because I was always occupied with campaigning.

With her, I really wanted her instantly. I started seeking her attention (wanting to talk) after the 3rd day we encountered each other. Tho I saw her after 4 days, I had decided I wanted her badly cuz even while campaigning, I kept thinking of her. So i came up with this plan that im gonna show myself off to an extent where she gets the clue and comes over to me.

Summer break was approaching so I wanted to get in contact quickly. The only prob was my inability to talk to her.
Never ever had a problem talking to girls. But this one left me tongue tied every time I saw her and I just couldn't start

[Asker]

Yeah I also think she expected me. when she received silence then she made her move but yeah I fucked up.

[LalaIbby90]

TBH I thought I was one of the minority with preferring being asked out by a guy. Many will judge me because we're in the 21st century but that's how I was raised and my Lebanese background plays a huge role. But I just read online that people like me are very much common, a study was conducted by Mills, Janiszewska and Zabala in 2011 where they found 93% women wanted to be asked out and only 6% preferred to do the asking. For males 83% preferred to do the asking and only 16% liked to be asked. So there's a 10% of men who will wait to be asked out but the girl they love/crush on will be waiting for him to ask out. So she may very well have fallen into this "he'll ask me out." Definite miscommunication between you two lovebirds!

[Poppykate]

But you said that she actually made a move... so why didn't you?

[Asker]

@Poppykate no time at all. I just had 4 days left.

[Asker]

Yeah it was all wrong timing and miscommunication/misunderstandings..

[LalaIbby90]

I'm sorry you had to go through 'pain' bit. Take it as a life lesson and don't be too hard on yourself. Next girl who comes by or maybe you bump into this one again in the future (never know if fate then it's fate) you're more aware of at least how to semi-act (never ever ignore). May have been shit timing now, but you never know what the future holds for you man!

[Asker]

Do you really think we could bump again based on all that I ve spoken about

[Poppykate]

It depends.. do you communicate at all?

[LalaIbby90]

Like if there's absolutely no communication between you two which is what I gathered (you don't have her phone number, not sure about social media or email) then it all depends on coincidence and fate (if you believe in it). If you're linked in through social media at least then there's a more likely chance for the connection to stay between you two (somewhat connected) and possibly a higher chance for reunion one day.

[Asker]

No we don't have any type of communication.

[Poppykate]

It's a small small world with Facebook!

[Asker]

@Poppykate I am not on Facebook and she's not there either. I thought I would make one and send her friend requests but couldn't find her

[Asker]

Yeah I guess I gotta leave it on fate. Ironically ten days after I left, I discovered I had snapped a photo of her without even knowing she was in one of my photos.
I just got this sudden thought to check if I had ever captured her in my photos which I took of the campus and was stunned to see her in one of my pics. I had accepted she probably hates me and we won't see each other ever again and got this shock instead.

So yeah guess I leave it on fate what else could I do.

[Poppykate]

That's a shame. She much be on the internet somehow... through her work...

[Poppykate]

You could send her a brunch of flowers, and a card asking for a date.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate He's an academic and has a reputation to keep and doesn't want people knowing. Flowers is going to probably seek attention, but it's a risk he'll need to take if he knows where she works. But getting to know Asker for the past week I doubt it'll happen (sorry man!).
It's nice to have a photo of her that you can look at, but it'll be nicer if you had her actual face next to you 😏 Just saying. Not trying to it salt on the wound but it's the truth.
If you'd leave it to fate then you're gambling with chance. You may or may never see her again. It's not impossible to bump into her but who knows!

[Asker]

She's in Sweden where we study and I returned to uk, my home country. So until we meet, its not possible to send her flowers. on top of it it depends on her feelings. if she still likes me. If she no longer looks at me like she used to, or she's not there, I can't do anything. Gutted :/

[LalaIbby90]

You speak as though she's over you.

[Asker]

I feel negative. Ever since she left I kinda lost a lot of faith in love and stuff. So I'm not keeping my expectations high and feel broken if my hopes aren't answered..

[LalaIbby90]

You know what amazes me about this whole thing is the 2 week thing. Like it amazes me how in 2 weeks you although guys shared so much chemistry (all that staring and sexual tension - get a room guys jokes!) you aren't forgetting her too easily... I would expect a two week of staring/sexual tension would fade away with time, but it isn't with you and it's... amazing! I haven't seen it before tbh

[LalaIbby90]

And also if we're being honest it does seem like deep down you're truly hoping something would happen (expectation a little higher than what you're suggesting) 😉

[Asker]

Ya but it could be one sided. I don't know if she's still feeling the same. Earlier it was mutual. Now I dunno.

[Asker]

I truly hope to see her and to start seeing her. But its almost 3 months. She wouldn't remember me or even hold on so what's the point.

[LalaIbby90]

Comment no.3 from your last reply (sorry about them being separate) - what I mean is that a 2 week thing and ending up losing faith in love... that's what I mean by "amazing" like... this is a first

[Asker]

I was deeply hurt by the separation. That's all I know

[LalaIbby90]

It's quite weird how the world works, like two people meet and there's such a strong pull towards one another and in your case 'separated' / had to leave and that's it... You kind of go, what was that? It wasn't her fault or your fault for it ending, just circumstantial I guess!
It seems like you feel deeply connected to her. Initially I thought you based it in her looks only but seems like you like her more than just her face and eyes.

[Asker]

Yeah but like u said, 2 weeks of staring and all that fades away with time so don't expect anything at all.

[LalaIbby90]

It does if you guys never see each other again because that's normal. If you guys see each other sometime in the future, those feelings or sexual tensions between you two may come hitting both of you hard. I've seen it before with others (not personal experience) where they've had chemistry, hadn't seen each other for years and then reunite at an event or work and BAMMM... it was like they never left. One ended up hooking up and two in very serious relationships (one of which Is now is now married and pregnant). Doesn't happen to everyone but some are lucky AF (Not that I'm saying you want to put a ring on her finger)

[Asker]

Do u think whatever happened between us there is a chance of love or liking still being there?

[LalaIbby90]

With all honesty I would say yes, there would be liking/loving there. It's easy for outsiders to say "no" but putting myself in her shoes and going through that, I think I'd be more confused/hurt but I would have feelings for the guy if we shared intense eye contact and chemistry (that's what happened last year with my current boyfriend). But I'm described as nice and sensitive. You've decribed her as sweeet and submissive and if she is like that then she would most likely still have feelings for you (deep down) even if you went ghost town. If we really like a guy, from time to time we will think about him. If something triggers a memory we will day dream about it, it may resemble feelings of longing and hurt, but with a lot of liking/lust. Even something as lame as watching a rom-com it would make us think of you eg "he used to look at me like that". So overall I'm leaning towards yes!

[LalaIbby90]

And also please don't feel that just because she's pretty or attractive that that means an automatic "she'll lose her feelings" or "forget about me." That's all bullshit stereotypes about "attractive" people. They're humans too and feel things. So just because she's beautiful doesn't mean she can like brush off the feels and casually move on.

[Asker]

Okay but what would you say if this was a guy in her place? would u believe he would still remember the girl he wanted so badly? Exclude me in this case

[Poppykate]

Hmmm... I am not sure. Do guys get the same level of intensity? ...

[LalaIbby90]

I would say depends on the guy. If he got mixed messages (ignoring + staring/sexual tension) some will chase the girl until they're a thing and some will fear rejection and back out. In terms of your exact situation where let's say the girl left and limited time and all, I would say even a guy with really deep feelings for a girl (more than just a crush) would deep down have lingering feelings for her and would be "refreshed" if he saw the girl again. Because whether guy or girl if you start developing strong feelings for someone they don't usually go away quickly and it'll be with you for a while. Even if down the track you've stopped thinking about them but when that name is mentioned for eg you'd feel a pang of what you felt then. So I guess it's how strong the feelings are for some I believe. Do you believe she crushed on you or had stronger feelings based on her stares and all?

[Asker]

I can't say. If it was a crush then I don't think she would want to talk or approach. Both of us clearly wanted to get together so I doubt it was just a crush

[Poppykate]

@asker I think you are overthinking this issue. You really have two clear options.1 do nothing. You will be in the exact same miserable place you are now. or two 2. Find a way to tell her how you feel. You won't have any regrets because you would have given it your all. It's really simple. I was in this situation a year ago. I went for. It didn't exactly work out. But I don't regret it in the slightest!. It was quite freeing actually.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah I do believe it was more than a crush based on what you said, so I agree. I also do think if you had more time either of you (most likely her) would have made a move and you guys would've become a couple/ went on a date. Especially if you asked this question and you were still seeing her that could've at least made you not ignore her and she would've had a clear sign that you're into her 100% for her to feel confident enough to ask you out on a date or at least give you a major hint that she wants to hang with you. It's pretty clear you guys had the hots for each other and wanted one another. Sucks really. I know the logical solution is for you to find out how to speak to her and that's what everyone has been saying, but I kind of see it from your POV too, it's not as easy as it sounds especially not for everyone. Some people are more confident than others, some are more shy or nervous. So don't feel pressured! Just know that what you guys shared was super cute (hot?).

[LalaIbby90]

And also everytime you think of her you can think about what you shared in a positive light: the attraction was mutual, the staring was mutual, there was chemistry and some real intense feelings on both ends. 😀
(If she'd asked you out, I wonder where she would've taken you)

[Asker]

I try to think of everything in a positive light. Sometimes I do get very sad thinking of her. I really wonder if she misses me as much as I do or is just me. I ve had serious stuff before but the level of attraction and attachment I still experience is strange to me. Its even when I wake up in the morning I see that cute face in my mind.
Sometimes its painful remembering the things we shared and sometimes its beautiful and feel like replaying it all the time.
This feeling sucks.

[Poppykate]

I truly feel for you. I hope you both find a way back to each other.

[LalaIbby90]

(1/2) My boyfriend sent this a while back about "soulmate" which I think is what you were tying to say about the level of attachment/bond and attraction you have for fher, "A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet. A connection so strong that you're drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you feel a love so deep, strong, and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior." Reading that I think describes your situation perfectly. There are many who do believe in soulmates and if this concept truly exists, then you've found yours (not trying to be cheesy but the quote above really nails what you're going through). It's not a crush and it's not like. You're in love, congratulations.

[LalaIbby90]

(2/2) So all those emotions is you mourning the fact that you've been split apart and you naturally want to be with her. If this whole soulmate thing is true, then she most likely feels it too (the pain/ the missing/ the love). If his whole soulmate things also exists, then one day you guys will be drawn back together. This may be the beginning, you actually never know. You may never have fallen in love until you met her. Now You've left me wondering if she misses you too!! The sad part about all of this is that she most likely has no idea that you're feeling what you're feeling in the slightest at the moment. She probably thinks you enjoyed the game or liked her then and that's it.

[Asker]

@PoppyKate thanks. Hope so

[Asker]

I read similar articles and it kinda makes sense but I dunno whether I should believe it. I mean yeah I get dreams, miss her and all as they state.
I don't cry easily but on a certain day I did feel so weird. I was fine until all of a sudden I felt so miserable & wanted to break. I wasn't even thinking of her but I felt so horrid inside I dunno why.
And she's been appearing in my dreams like 3 days straight this week. College is gonna reopen soon and though I went without a week of having no dreams of her , its back again.

I can't even fathom what this is. I rejected it thinking maybe its just my mind playing games but this whole 3 months away made me reconcile to the fact that we aren't together & maybe won't be yet the dreams don't stop.

I have no clue. I do feel like getting into a long embrace and never leave cuz these days the picture of her feels like home.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah the whole soulmate thing has me kind 50/50 don't know if I believe it but I do believe sometimes two people who you never thought would fall in love, do and so unexpectedly. But all your feelings and bond kind of coincide with this "soulmate" idea so it is interesting.
This dream things as well is on a whole new level of interesting because you have dreamt about her A LOT. So it gets back to this "subconscious mind" or "soulmate" thing again! Is it like a recurring dream? The only "logical" explanation I can come up with is that you're in love with her, but I don't know if that's what you feel about her?
Maybe you've been piling all that emotion alone and that's why that "breaking point" came to you out of nowhere. Like all the pain/ hurt/ missing/longing you've been carrying alone.
I know college friends don't know but is there anyone you've told about how you feel about this girl?

[LalaIbby90]

That last sentence of yours, okay wow! That's... super cute!! She's a lucky girl and she doesn't even know it. Maybe she will be your home one day and you'll see her first thing in the morning next to you (Optimistic person here). And also because that's the kind of cheese girls day dream about waking up next to the guy they like first thing in the morning, holding their hand, embracing them and kissing under the night sky.

[Asker]

Its always a different dream but yeah I see clearly. Its definitely a lot and even though I have had real intense feelings for my exes or even one sided love, I haven't dreamt so much about them. So its definitely strange. I don't know tbh.

Hoping so. I wish it happens.

[Asker]

No none my friends know. I rarely tell anyone about my personal life

[LalaIbby90]

Honestly if you've had intense feelings for your exes (people you've actually dated) and did not often dream about them then that is strange. This is going to be a bit personal but it may make sense as to why I'm asking. With your exes, you dated them and you went out with them, so your "goal" was met. With this one your "goal" wasn't met, and a lot of your liking for her is for her looks. It may be your frustrated (sexually and non-sexually) that you desire her so much and you're not having it hence the dreams. That's something that just clicked to me. Hmmm.
No wonder you felt like you were going to "break". Carrying it alone is not the best. At least you're talking about her on here I guess rather than completely keeping it a secret. So your plan was to tell people if and only if something happened?

[Asker]

Not really. If people found out then okay but I wouldn't go around telling anyone. Mainly because I don't discuss personal stuff with people at uni.

And the dream part, I've had unrequited love situations before, loving someone I can't have but never dreamt so often. I don't know honestky

[LalaIbby90]

That is beyond strange. I totally get why you're finding it extremely confusing.

So the only one you've become tongue tied with, the most prettiest compared to previous relationships, heaps of dreams and inability to forget about her.

If you guys ever end up together, let me know, I'll start riding the soulmate bandwagon. Because then, mind blown. And if you guys ever date, people will find out because girls aren't as "private" - people will know at least from her side of friends/family

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if her level of 'liking' is equivalent to yours (which lives on till now) if not more considering she's smiled at you, showed willingness to talk and stared and all.

This is isn't to attack you, merely trying to understand a guy's mind - what made you think ignoring her would make her chase you or like you more?

[Asker]

I always liked getting her attention and for her to notice me. So whenever she was around I would get louder & I was so obvious with all that eye contact and staring that I expected her to chase me as well (wanted to see how much she covets me as well the lack of time was putting me in a dilemma)

but when we talked I found myself talking rather softly in a low voice which is unlike me tbh

[Asker]

*found myself talking to her

[LalaIbby90]

Not too sure if you realised but she kinda did "chase you" with her trying to "watch" you, locking eyes, staring, trying to talk to you and approaching you, smiled at you. That was all her reciprocating what you felt and throwing you obvious clues that she's ready for you. If all this intense chemistry happened in 2 weeks some girls would hesitate to also make a move regardless of how much they like the guy because they would looks desperate or easy. She may have feared how you may "look at her" regardless if she was the confident one of you two.
You spoke softer (awww!). She would've picked up on it, trust me! That's a positive because it was another clue for her to know you weren't yourself around her. I used to think it meant a guy is nervous, which still holds true but other guys have told me they do it without realising but there's a "biological unconscious" thing behind it we're the guy is telling a girl she should feel comfortable to approach and he's not a threat.

[LalaIbby90]

This whole speaking softly can also be adding on to the list of how this girl is a "first" for you (dreams/softer speaking/tongue tied/too pretty). She really did have a big impact on that heart if yours.

[Poppykate]

@lalalbby90 you are full of great advice and insight! Never knew about the soft talking thing!

[Asker]

I think she did pick up because I told her my name so softly that she had difficulty in picking up what I said. It was a bit embarrassing for me but yeah anyways she got it the second time I told her.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate Thank you! Me either, I learnt it recently and it's so interesting that guys do that. It's so much more than being nervous, it's like a biological mating/attracting thing. Goes all the way back to our ancestors. Pretty cool.
@Asker Don't be embarrassed, she most likely found you more attractive when your voice became soft. It's something that she would think about in her head over and over, and wonder why it became softer. Her heart may have skipped a beat or completely melted. 😉

[Poppykate]

@Lalalbby90 I wonder if we do the opposite? 🤔 Make ourselves appear more masculine to make the man feel more 'at home'? Makes one laugh! 😂

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate Come to think of it with my boyfriend (who was my crush last year) when we first started speaking I was pretty normal when I spoke to him, like I would joke around with him but mostly just normal. All I remember is me wanting to talk to him at any price, like I would just pop out of nowhere and ask the stupidest question just to start conversation. Because I was initiating the conversation all the time, I was so embarrassed and thought "man this guy probably thinks I'm desperate" but it was just me dying to speak to him because I was so attracted to him. His voice did go lower and softer around me when we spoke. But I have seen girls mostly teens where their voices become super high to get the guys attention but more mature girls voice either stay normal or slightly lower. But with men you can see it more clearly given they have louder or deeper voices naturally.

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker (2nd comment after your last reply) To sum it up for you because some people did write awful comments on here and based on everything you've said. I can tell you that she most likely did get hurt because her feelings for you was strong BUT I doubt she hates you. Given her sweet nature, she's mostly just wishing or wished to be with you. That's all. If you do see her in the future don't assume that she may hate you, because most likely she doesn't.

[Poppykate]

I agree with your last comments @Lalalbby90 she does hate you. She is just hurt.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess u are right. I remember the day we first talked, I couldn't say a word to her and kept looking at her then she smiled and initiated hello and I followed her.
I just got pressed because it didn't happen quickly and she most likely thinks I'm weird and crazy.

[Asker]

She asked me about my project and congratulated me but I got pressed just because she didn't ask me out. Sucks

[Poppykate]

But she took an interest in your project! That's great! It shows great interest!

[Asker]

I ll tell u a dream of mine which was so vivid I could clearly recall the words. . the day I found our I had accidently snapped her pic , the night after I had this really vivid dream where I confessed my feelings to her in a written note. In the dream I gave her my note in which it was written I can't unsee her or cancel her or my feelings for her and I find her gorgeous.

These words were so vivid I could clearly recall in the morning when I woke up. I have saw us holding hands and she told me she loves me.

This occurred 7 days later after I returned home. It was all so strange because it was so clear and vivid. And tbh whenever I get vivid dreams, they come true.

However I dunno if this is ever gonna happen.

[Asker]

The rest dreams aren't so vivid but yeah I can see her clearly. In them. But not paying notice because they mean nothing and I don't wanna fool myself into believing dreams and escaping reality

[Poppykate]

You could just write the note! 🤔

[Asker]

@Poppykate but only if I see her and if she hasn't moved on

[LalaIbby90]

You keep thinking that she thinks negatively of you which may not be the case. When a girl loves, she becomes 'blind' less likely to judge the guy and more likely to judge her actions. She is most likely going through 'Did he ever really like me' or to 'Should I have spoken more to him or flirted more' or to 'Does he think about me still' - 99% WAY MORE likely than "he's weird and crazy" thoughts. Especially when you ignored her that would have made her crazy thinking "what did I do to make him ignore me" or "Does he not like me anymore" thoughts. We all have insecurities man and those are the thoughts that she's most likely had or still having. Girls spend weeks analysing every moment they shared with he guy they like and we're very critical of ourselves sadly (most of us at least). She would've processed every moment you guys shared over and over trying to find what happened and why nothing happened.

[LalaIbby90]

happened. I feel like you think that her thinking about you a lot or processing moments you shared together after you left is not possible, but it is 99% likely she did or still is.
Plus she was doing what I was doing basically lolol! She was saying those hellos and asking about your stuff because she was interested in knowing you more but also because she wanted any excuse to talk to you.
Is this the first girl you've ignored or have you ignored girls previously that you ended up dating?

[Poppykate]

There are too many if, and special conditions... just write the note!

[Asker]

A little bit I did ignore and they would come to me. I'm not very good with dating. And friends tell mW I have communication problems. Plus I like spending time by myself than move around with people all the time.

[Asker]

And is it possible for love to happen like this? I mean I narrated my story and some laughed but I kinda felt odd that the first time I saw her, she was quite a few feet away from me and the moment I put my eyes on her, I couldn't stop looking. Its weird as she was far from me and I was passing by hurriedly

[Asker]

And I also wonder that if a guy did all the stuff I did and the two didn't meet after that, what would a guy think? I'm not over but is it applicable to other guys it seems funny how some say they are over a girl and when they see her they be like wow she's back kinda

[LalaIbby90]

(1/2) Yeah as I said she's most likely analysed every moment you shared together over and over for weeks thinking what went wrong or why nothing happened or if you liked her enough. It would be something that would have ate her away with all the thinking so she would've been in the same situation as you or still is completely not over. Remember she was given a piece of the cake and didn't have a chance to bite it, this leaves feelings inside of her that never truly was fulfilled nor entirely rejected, she was left stranded. In terms of the dreams, it's odd because most dreams are dreams but yours is too frequent for it to be just that. Like that note you wrote was vivid and her declaring her love for you. Who did you narrate the story to? Didn't you say that you only had problem with communicating with her? When you say 'came to you' as in asked you out?

[LalaIbby90]

(2/3) I have told two of my guy friends about your story who I'm hanging out with. They both agreed that you're head over heels for this girl. They also both agreed that guys will most likely say "I'm over her" only to protect their ego and masculinity. Nearly no guy will say "I'm still into her" only because it makes them look "whipped". They say to you that with all the stuff you did was great but wasn't enough, you needed to do make it more obvious like flirt with her during her talking to you or stand really close in personal space to heighten the tension and show her you "dig" her. They also agreed the ignoring bit was... not so great but said based on what you described the girl wanted you big time and overlooked your ignoring. They say that she's likely secretly obsessing over you too but you'll never know because no talk. They say if you can't get her out of your mind (dreams and all) but you can't talk either..:

[LalaIbby90]

(3/3) then try to accept that you guys had an "epic" thing for one another OR like hold onto it if you can if you believe there's a chance of seeing this girl again. One of them was like "should've just went in for a kiss while she was talking if he couldn't talk that would've done it." But they agree it's normal that you feel what you feel because you're "in love" and they say don't listen to other guys they're all going to act king shit but deep down when they're in love they're in love even if they don't admit it. One of the guys was like he thinks you both hesitated about making a move whether it be reputation/ rejection / mixed signals. They also said "we feel for ya man, if she was hot then what a loss" - 🙄

[Asker]

I narrated in third person to my cousin and he was like laughing saying what a loser and stuff

[Asker]

I'm a bit tired now. I don't know what these dreams mean and so on. It hurts

[LalaIbby90]

Urgh. So judgmental tbh. Does totally suck but hopefully it'll ease you wishes are fulfilled. Seems like the dreams are what's keeping you hooked or not over it

[LalaIbby90]

It'll ease over time or hopefully your *

[LalaIbby90]

Read this: www lovepanky com /women/attracting-and-dating-men/can-a-girl-ask-a-guy-out
What I was trying to explain earlier. I've had this mentality since I was little (Lebo chick here) but this article explains why so many girls won't ask a guy out. You probs would've lost interest in her if she did because you'd think she's "easy"

[Asker]

Easy? How so?

[Asker]

I mean I did all that to get her attention to chat

[Poppykate]

Your friends are laughing at you, because you are living in your head, rather than the real world. You have a real chance to have this girl, but you choose to live in fantasy land!

[Asker]

@Poppykate she needs to come back in person right? Also still have feelings for me?

[Poppykate]

Yes, but you need to invite her!

[Asker]

I might add I tried to make her jealous too once. Once I decided to get her attention on a certain day, we both were staring at each other while talking with our friends and I met a friend of mine who works for the staff and I hugged her and gave her a peck on her cheek. .

She saw me do that and kept looking. Didn't look pleased. But yeah I did all that while looking at her.

[Poppykate]

Why? If she is a really sweet girl that would have hurt her feelings, and maybe made her cry! That's horrible!

[Asker]

@Poppykate no she was alright thanks to god. I saw later on throughout and she was not angry at me because we exchanged a lot of looks and I did not kiss her on the lips or anything. On cheeks I did that's it. I just wanted her to come to me because I did so much and she was still not approaching me

[Poppykate]

Maybe she was shy?

[Poppykate]

.. and sorry dude.. but acting like a douchebag isn't going to get her to approach. Be kind, be open, encourage her to approach ( by telling her that you like her) and she will approach on her own!

[LalaIbby90]

(1/2) If you read the article it'll tell why. Basically guys like the chase, yes they see it as frustrating (and some guys say they wouldn't mind a girl asking them out) to chase a girl but psychologically they'll see her as more "worthy" because they worked so hard to get her. They put in effort. Whereas a girl no matter how attractive she is, if she's the one who asked out, the guy will lose interest faster in her and that's what they found basically. Some girls are conscious of this. It would've been too easy for you if she came and asked you out despite what you may think.
Plus, honestly, you've mentioned several times how "you've done a lot" "you were obvious" "all that you've done for her to approach" etc. but from where I see it, she actually did more!! She approached you, initiated hellos, spoke to you, asked about your stuff, overlooked your ignoring and jealousy tactics. Plus she gave you the stares, the smile, and locked eyes with you.

[LalaIbby90]

(2/2) From where I'm standing she made it even more obvious than you. You say you wanted her to approach but she did. She so did 100%. From her eyes you only put 50% work compared to her. Thoughts?
You played mind tactics with her and I don't know whether it coz she's that pretty you unconsciously went "she's pretty don't want to look desperate so let me play hard to get" hence why you began ignoring in the first place to "play it cool." It would make sense if that's what you were doing (not that it's right, but makes sense). You kinda toyed with her feelings 😥😥

[Asker]

But she approached me quite late. After 2 weeks when I just had 5 days left.
I had to run back to where she would hang out because she never came to me or hung around me. Only I had to keep going back to get her notice me.
Sure she stared but only when our eyes directly met. I guess she was shy and she overlooked e everything and reciprocated but hers was much more discreet or subtle while mine was directly on her which she knew and understood

[Asker]

Well I had already flat out shown her how I cannot keep my eyes off her. Plus we had no time. Barely knew each other. I already mentioned I'm not a social media or messaging kinda of guy for relationships.

It was a mix of both. Playing it cool and no time

[Poppykate]

Well I am not sure what to tell you... or how you can go from here..

[LalaIbby90]

Didn't you say she'd hop over when you were alone and spoke to you? So I guess she did come to you when opportunity rose?
So even if you had her on social media or number hypothetically speaking you wouldn't message because your face to face kind of guy for relationships?

[LalaIbby90]

Also... I thought she watched you meaning she looked at you even when you guys didn't lock eyes?
Look it's okay if you stuffed up. We all do. No one is an angel or perfect and not everything works out.
I think not knowing how to talk to her made you anxious / self conscious and the no time made you go crazy

[LalaIbby90]

(3/3) it seems like before you left you really thought she'd ask you out, seeems like you were rooting on it. How did you expect her to do it anyways?

[LalaIbby90]

(4/4) sorry about the spam comments im just tryna make sense otnof this... how was her actions more discreet and subtle and yours more direct? You both stared at each other pretty hard?

[Asker]

She was not so blatant like me. I mean I would just stand stare wherever I was even in front of people but she would be more discreet like not being so obvious but quietly locking eyes with me.

[Asker]

Yeah she did but 2 weeks after all the staring and in between smiles.
And yeah I'm like a face to face guy especially in serious relationships. I really don't believe I can get to anyone via messaging when we don't even know each other yet. At least we need to know something or talk a bit more to get to the messaging level. If both of us were in country then it was great but I was leaving and I guess she left too.

[LalaIbby90]

Got to love how you're like we need to talk or know a bit more about each other before we get to the messaging level... but that's what she was doing with talking and asking about your stuff haha!! Like tryna up from being strangers to 'friends' to go to the dating part. Guess you guys went from strangers to sexual tension - the status of you guys was 'unknown' (not friends and not lovers).
Seems like she upped her game in the last 5 days because she knew time was running short. And it was either happening or you guys were going to return to strangers.
She does seem shy. Her breaking eye contact is a sign of shyness (you made her feel weak on the inside in a good way). Her being discreet + hopping over to talk when alone is her being conscious of what others around you may think of her or pick up that she's attracted to you and it's not something she wanted seems like it.

[Asker]

Made her feel weak?

[LalaIbby90]

When a girl likes a guy and he's reciprocating, him staring / locking eyes and basically giving the girl attention makes us weak inside in a good way. As in she becomes nervous or self-conscious which she wouldn't be like that with other people. So let's just say your girl is a social butterfly who talks to others carefree, jokes and is easy with forming friendship circles but with you she's unable to hold eye contact for too long - you make her "weak" (you have "power" over her), she's totally into you and is too self-conscious about it.
Your girl seemed also like she wanted you to know she likes you but not those around her with her discreetness and hopping over alone. Given she's sweet I don't think like it's her being shamed by liking you but more of not wanting others to know how she feels given the environment you're in.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess we had similar issues. Though I spotted her alone sometimes I still couldn't go and talk so I would just resort to seeking attention in front of her. While she I guess was uncomfortable approaching me around my friends and others as I was almost always surrounded by them. But yeah I did keep coming to her by myself so that she could chat

[LalaIbby90]

So strange despite you guys did talk when she initiated but you could never initiate... hmm. If anything she's just confused as for the result of the nothingness of it all. It was like a 2 week staring fling and tension that resulted in nothing. Wonder if she's pissed?

[Asker]

Well we did want each other but circumstances took a different turn. I dunno if she's pissed but she maybe hurt. I dunnk how she's going to react if she sees me

[LalaIbby90]

Okay let's take time out of this. Let's just say it wasn't ending in the 2 weeks and you had time. Say another like... I don't know couple of months? Let's just say this staring went on, her initiating conversations/hellos etc. but say 2 months in all this is happening and she hasn't asked you out... what would've you done then if you're still unable to talk to her or initiate conversations? Would you just resort to continue to ignore her and act like you don't have feeling for her?
Knowing her in the time you had, how do you think she'll react? On my end, doubt she'll ignore you because she overlooked your ignoring. I think she'll be cautious and avoid looking at you (probably will, but undercover style where you're not looking) because she's probs feeling rejected

[LalaIbby90]

And do you think she's hurt because you didn't ask her out or because you ignored her generally (plus inront of friends)?

[Asker]

I am sure we would have been a couple if we had time.

judging by the way she was talking, she wanted to know me and was trying to make me comfortable so I guess she's hurt cuz I ignored her. I pray she gives me the same love she used to but i have no hope. Every moment between us was beautiful but the last ones weren't nice.
For both of us. Not just her.

[Asker]

If she feels rejected then u have no chance anymore. Why will anyone come after some whom they think rejected them 😥

[Poppykate]

Even though you did reject her, if she truly loves you, she will open her heart and forgive you.

[LalaIbby90]

I'm going to challenge you lol. How would you guys have been a couple if she expects you to ask out and you couldn't even talk? (I definitely can see you two wanting each other baddddddd but think about it).

How so for both of you - it being not nice at the end? Eeeeeekkkk that may change things...

And if she's sweet with a big heart (?) then she most likely will forgive you when she sees you and hears out the explanation of the ignoring or at least a compliment of how you missed her.

[Poppykate]

So did you guys talk? Or go on dates or anything?

[LalaIbby90]

(2/2) when we say rejected it's because think of it this way, she got youchecking her out big time and seeking her attention then you ignored her, left and nothing happened. Rejected. She may interpret it as "good enoUgh for eye candy not good enough for dating" - does happen. Just because a guy checked us out and tried to get our attention doesn't mean he wants us to be his mrs. Or the person he wakes up to the next morning

[Asker]

If she believes herself as you explained in the last comment then she must feel extremely depressed.

[Asker]

She did chat me up so definitely if we had time we could keep talking.

[LalaIbby90]

Yaaaaaaa man. It's a reality that a girls face. Especially pretty girls. They get ogled by a lot of guys, so guys checking them out whatever. But if a guy full stared at her and tried to get her attention and all, that would get any girls hopes up if she was reciprocating the 'love' or 'desire' thinking he likes her back. But if said girl then faces the guy she likes and thought she'd end up with ignoring and nothing happening, that's a huge kick blow to her self-esteem and her hopes of ever thinking she was going to be with you, and she faces with an epic rejection without nothing having to be said. Guys don't have to say "no" for a girl to feel rejected. Non-verbals can do hat too. So would she have been depressed? Yes. Is she still is? Most likely given she seemed to really like you.

[LalaIbby90]

I. e. Clear miscommunication

I honestly think this girl was left thinking she was wrong about thinking you wanting her as a girlfriend. She would've had hopes and thought during moments you share but after ignoring and leaving , I can tell you she would've felt like she was some form of eye candy ands that's it. It would have made her feel down and stupid for thinking she had a chance with you

[Asker]

But I wanted her otherwise wouldn't pursue 😥

[Poppykate]

I am going to agree with @Lalalbby90 I think this girl was left thinking that you didn't want to be her girlfriend. Maybe she thought that you only wanted to be a friend?

[Asker]

@Poppykate but why would I make eyes at her if I wanted her as a friend? Even she can understand that. I clearly gave her im-into-you eyes. I wouldn't hesitate in chatting with her if I didn't care about her in a romantic way.

[LalaIbby90]

Some guys like the flirt and game with girls. They like giving a girl the looks and seeking her attention for the fun of it all. Not all guys (same applies to females) have good intentions of wanting to pursue romantic relationships. Some do it for the fun and the game that a girls into them. She wouldn't have thought that way while you were there, she probably really thought you liked her and wanted her as much as she wanted you but after the leave and ignoring, she would've felt like a loser thinking whatever you shared actually meant something to you. She can't read your intentions or how deep your feelings are, she's basing all her judgment on what she's seeing. She would've thought she wasn't "good enough" or wasn't your type of "girl" you'd go for. I think that's what would stem the avoiding eye contact or awkwardness if she were to ever see you, because she'd think "I'm so dumb for thinking I had a chance." She'll need a blatant "I've missed you" if you ever see her

[LalaIbby90]

(2/2) so if said girl was viewed as like any other girl, you would've been able to chat with her normally when she'd initiated conversations?
That's the line where girls get so confused by "is he nervous to talk to me" or "does he not like me and does not want me talking to him"? She would've been flipping between the two, when you guys shared moments her thoughts would've been the former but after ignoring and leaving it would've flipped to the latter... and thought fuuuucccckkkk I may have looked s little too desperate

[Asker]

Yeah I don't have any issues talking to girls I'm not interested in romantically. I have friends who are women and I'm not bothered at all about their opinions on me or whatever.

[Asker]

I guess its most likely over from her side. Of that's how girls feel then she's never gonna talk to me.

[Asker]

Its pointless. She may no longer have any feelings for me. Thanks for all your insight.

[LalaIbby90]

That's how she most likely feels. But as I said just because someone felt rejected doesn't mean she'll lose her feelings for you. She'd be more careful when she sees you. When you see her don't assume and smile! She may have hope on the inside. Good luck and best wishes!!

[LalaIbby90]

Also didn't mean to end it on a depressing note, just how girls think. Don't be too bummed! The girl may still have the hots for you!!

[LalaIbby90]

3/3) Note: we are sensitive creatures who are also highly forgiving. If you tell her you've missed her her heart will most likely melt on the inside. Still have a chance if you see her. Also good knowing you Asker! I hope that you end up with this girl (deep down she probs hopes it too), because nothing is impossible.

[Asker]

Its all assumptions tho that she may still like me. . im tired honestly. I find it hard that anyone will remember a person for 3 months without any contact. Don't wanna get my hopes up.

I just don't know what it is. Yesterday after 3 days I saw her in my dream again. Its baffling.

[Poppykate]

Girls don't lose feelings so easy. ( I know I don't). I think that it's worth a try. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

[LalaIbby90]

The reason I have such 'insight' and I wasn't planning on letting the world on here know, but oh well, but I've been that girl that you speak of and is why I know a lot.
This was 3 years ago I was still studying and working casually. A guy and I worked at a school, so basically we worked in school programs and we had many shifts together. We were based in a particular school but our school was linked with another 3 schools in the surrounding areas. Anyways there was short staff in one of the schools and our boss had asked this guy whether he wanted to be placed in the other school. Anyways at the time, I had started fairly recently I was there for around 3-4 months and he'd been there for two years. We got really close, like we always joked around and had a laugh. Eventually our vibe shifted from colleagues to something more, I felt it. The way we looked at each other, there was sexual tension in the air and bedroom eyes. Began to develop a huge liking for this guy and he did too!!

[LalaIbby90]

But when the boss asked him to be re-based at another school, he had left. You'd think I'd have this guys number but I didn't in the 3months I was there but nope. And he went and I had no idea whether he'd come back or if he'd stay in that school but I also knew he was finishing his studies so I didn't know. I was left feeling hurt and confused because I thought he'd ask me out but mostly felt rejected. I thought maybe this guy only liked how I looked and hence the sexual tension and intense eye contact.
Overall, in the time he was gone I did not stop thinking about him. Everytime I went to the school on my shifts, I'd remember where we'd spoke, or where we looked at each other passionately. I'd remember the times we shared. And it hurt because I missed him and he probably had no idea. I felt dumb as well because I didn't know whether he felt the same intensity or if he'd get over it or never liked me as a girlfriend material especially that he didn't ask me out.

[LalaIbby90]

(3/4) But regardless of the negativity, I still very much liked him a lot. These feelings (the hurt / confusion / semi-rejection) although they were there, I still had very strong feelings for him and being at the school and him not being there hurt a bloody lot. Like I just wanted to see his face so badly.
We didn't end up together because I just never saw him again. But if I did see him I would've not cared about him not asking me out and spoke to him like he never left (and if still single would've continued with hints if he still liked me back).
This is why I'm saying she most likely still likes you, because i was that girl once. And I liked him a lot and missed him despite the agony.

[LalaIbby90]

Till this date despite dating a guy, I still find him attractive. Maybe not love anymore because I love my boyfriend, but I have no hate towards him and still very much curious as to what would've stemmed out of what we had or if he truly liked me as much as I did. But yes sorry about my spill. This is just to give you insight as to why I've been onto this because I felt for the girl (and you) but it's seriously not impossible. You're allowed to believe what you want. It's your life. But I wouldn't be surprised the slightest if she's still thinking about you.

[LalaIbby90]

(5/5) you still remember her so why wouldn't she

[Poppykate]

@Lalalbby90 I agree 1000%

[Asker]

Yeah but you guys were close. We weren't sadly. Till this date we are still almost strangers. Maybe acquaintances. But I don't even know anything else about her. Except her race, religion and name.

Plus I don't know if she will come back. Was an international student. She might have left and I did hear from someone who said she's finished with her study but that person was not sure. However he did know her name and her country of residence so maybe he's right that she's gone forever.

I reconciled with the fact that she's gone but the dreams kept linking her to me and I couldn't stop feeling completely hopeless.

[Asker]

I'm really sorry for you.

[Asker]

I don't know really. A lot of people aren't very emotional and. Sensitive. Plus being pretty , its not going to long she's going to be single. I already noticed a lot of guys eyeing her at the university so its no big deal to move on with someone and forget a 2 week staring thing which had no future tbh

[Asker]

I don't understand why I keep getting dreams when its all over. Just because its unfulfilled I can expect 2-3 times but nearly 10-15 times. Its stramge

[LalaIbby90]

You have two girls who agreed that girls don't get over their emotions easily. From the start her level of attractiveness is getting to you but I can say I'm quiet attractive and that never stopped me from thinking about him. Like bro, I and every pretty girl (so subjective) has a heart and feelings. Yeah close in the sense only at work like we never hung out. I guess that's more that what you two had but if you're going to keep thinking her looks are what's going to make her move on, then that's pretty sadddddddd. Really sad. So stereotypical of people who are "good looking." I've told you there's a likely chance of her liking you still and missing. But at the end of the day it's your choice of choosing what to believe or not to believe. This is your story with her but you knew so little of her too so it's hard for you to make a concrete decision that it's over for her. But I guess if the dreams weren't there you'd be over her too seems like it

[LalaIbby90]

(2/2) The dream thing according to psychologist is either if the two (1) a recurring person who keeps showing in your dreams could reflect a feeling or desire that has not been successfully resolved in your waking "real" life (2) prospective image of the future, may play a part in your future (eg a women who kept having vivid dreams of a baby turned out to be pregnant later on)

[Asker]

But don't they stop if its the case of unfulfilled? At one point a person reaches me the acceptance level that its never going to be fulfilled and they reconcile with life or fate.
Why recurring inspite of reconciliation? When mind has accepted then the point of it is redundant

[LalaIbby90]

That is very very true. Like your mind would think to a certain level that "we haven't seen each other, may not see each other and now will move on at least until I ever see her again". So really your mind would make you dream of her couple of times but not 10-15 times. It would reach a point of reconciliation. My thing with it is that you may have wanted her the most out of anyone (since day one you saw her) so your desire for her to be with her is so HIGH and you may be thinking you 'reconciles' but you're more likely in denial and deep down you'd get with her within a second if you had the opportunity hence why the subconscious part of you knows this and dreams continue. In my culture (which doesn't apply to everyone) we believe that if we continue dreaming about someone consistently either that person misses us or is thinking about us or is talking about us. If I was in your position that's what I would solely believe but that's my culture / background.

[LalaIbby90]

I would also believe the second one given my religious background (may be a part of your future) only because dreams play a huge role in my religion. But if you're someone who believes in fate of being with someone then that second interpretation would also hold true - but based on previous comments you're skeptical which is fine.
My suspicions of it all is that you REALLY WANTED HER, still do. Yes you've tried to ease you heart but you're not fooling your mind and your deeper desires and wishes.

[Asker]

Initially I had troubles but this whole active dreaming started with the revelation of her picture and the vivid dream of us being together and the love letter.
I dismissed it but when I returned to UK, I began having series of dreams even though I had understood it was impossible.

I still say I don't really believe she still has the hots for me after 3 months and my mind says the same so I'm not understanding why I keep seeing her

I didn't dream of her for 1 week or more and there ate gaps like this 7-8 days in between the dreams so its even more strange.

If I take your background then I'm happy of she's still thinking of me hence the dream but who knows

[Poppykate]

Maybe she is on a busy schedule, and only gets to deep think of you on weekends ( hence the 7 day time lapse) lol

[LalaIbby90]

Well as a culture we do believe in it. My cousin got pregnant recently and she travels to Lebanon yearly in June-July for the summer there. This year she decided to chill out because she's exhausted by the pregnancy. For three weeks straight in June to July my cousin kept dreaming about my grandmother nearly every night. My cousin became worried and called my grandma, grandma said to her that she's been thinking about her everyday because she's used to my cousin being in Lebanon during those times and she misses her dearly hence the dreaming. It's what we believe when someone thinks about you a lot/ talks about you / misses you you'll see them in the dream constantly.

So yeah that's just what we believe so I'd easily believe it if I was in Your position but you're not of this culture so you'd probably be skeptical which is normal. Like you seem to think about her everyday I wouldn't be surprised if you were pooping in her dreams based on this belief

[LalaIbby90]

*popping LOL 😂

When one of my guy mates suggested you swoop in for a kiss when you couldn't talk... I'm now thinking she just should've done it and swooped in for a kiss so there's no misinterpretation for how you two feel.

[Asker]

I doubt it was possible for her lol. She's a lot smaller than me lol plus we were strangers 😥

[Asker]

Wow that's amazing. Your cousin and your grandma must have a deep connection for this to occur.
I do believe in dreams cuz some of my dreams came true.
Like one in which I saw her sitting with friends in the grounds and the day after, she was indeed sitting out in the sun in university grounds so I'm not ruling it out.

Its just I'm a bit hopeless and negative these days. Not just cuz of our story but due to other things ad well but yeah until something really happens in reality I tend to not pay much attention to it

[Asker]

Heard from a flying bird that she was telling someone that she was blacked out and couldn't concentrate for 5 mins after I had stared at her and the eye contact we made. That person said he overheard her talking about a guy's eyes she was staring into and she said she was jolted by it. He told me this now :/

[LalaIbby90]

They're family but the idea of it was that my grandma missed her so much and kept thinking about if only she was in Lebanon they could've spent time together like every year. So she kept coming in my cousins dreams. We find it fascinating basically because it's happened numerous times with people I know and myself.
Oh wow, so one of your dreams did come true! Yeah I totally believe that although some dreams may mean nothing but some dreams especially recurring/constant ones have a meaning (not everyone believes it but I do).
Yeah I've picked up on the negative and hopeless vibes.
And OMG are you serious? So is this flying bird who caught you staring? I'm guessing she was talking about that "passionate eye contact" you guys shared. Well seems like she got lost in your eyes and was hypnotised by it! She'll have that stare you shared burned into her memory, I can tell you that which would be on replay.

[Asker]

Yeah and it was the final time I saw her because I left the same day. But yeah that dream did come true.
No he didn't catch me but that person was saying that one girl is very pretty and they described her so I immediately recognized who they were talking about and he said she was talking about personal life etc and then said this so I could tell what she was talking about.
I didn't know my stares had such a deep impact on her. I mean I don't have hypnotic eyes or anything. So I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

When I say hypnotic I don't mean like you need have 'Ian Somerhalder' eyes or anything. They don't even have to be WOW eyes or anything. What I mean is that when someone develops strong feelings for someone that strongest way to show them your feelings is by staring them right into their eyes. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, which basically means staring someone in the eye you feel raw and naked. Because you're letting your guard down and showing the other person how deeply you feel about them. Her staring into your eyes back, and felt like she couldn't concentrate after is her getting lost in your eyes because it would've caused a lot of emotions within her (intense liking, lust, heart beating fast and feeling raw) her brain stopped working (hypnotised). She got lost in them because she was trying to read you, a million thoughts in her head in that moment. She would've forgot about her surroundings. Something she mostly would have burned in her memory, not so easy to forget

[LalaIbby90]

Also whether that person told you or not, her reaction is very normal for someone with strong feelings for someone. I'm surprised she's surprised. Like girrrrrrlll you in love !!

[Poppykate]

Your stares probably have a deep impact on her because she has feeling for you!

[Asker]

Maybe its cuz of me having light eyes while she has dark ones. I've heard that girls find it difficult to stare into lighter eyed people in love matters as they feel naked and scrutinised but not sure if this is the truth.

[LalaIbby90]

Not sure about the light eyes thing to be honest. The guys I've liked have been Lebanese, Greek and currently Asian and all have had dark eyes light either hazel brown to very dark brown. All I know is that that when someone feels strongly about someone regardless of how their eyes look, you'll feel pulled into them and feel lost in them. Feeling raw and naked because you guys are both telling each other without words how deeply you're into one another

[Asker]

I guess that's what she felt. I wish I could find out how she felt so deeply for me to experience this kind of attraction when it was just a few days we had seen each other.
She wouldn't hold contact with me for long but I kinda liked looking into her doe eyes and she got the message but yeah she would start looking here and there while I kept maintaining the eye contact.

[LalaIbby90]

She must've felt the pull that you had felt too. Sounds like you think that she's on a level of attractivness that wouldn't normally be attracted to you. But attraction lies in the eye of the beholder. It's subjective.
She was shy that she was getting eye-fucked pretty hard by the sounds of it. If you maintained eye contact you were definitely eye fucking her right there and she knew it. She got shy. Wouldn't be surprised if she undressed you in her mind 🤔 while she was there with you or when alone replaying it in her mind.
She sounds like bambi , big doe eyes and sweet. Cute tho!

[Asker]

Well tbh I did eye fuck a lot. I never removed my gaze from her. I just kept staring right into her eyes and face and she tried to keep up and eventually couldn't. I guesses she was shy but I just couldn't help myself whenever I saw her. I had to literally tell myself I have to concentrate on the person I'm talking to than stare at her.

[Asker]

yeah sort of bambi like. Her eyes were really cute. She looked really young. I never imagined she was 26 because she was so small in frame and face

[LalaIbby90]

Well tbh the best thing you've done with this girl is eye fuck her because that's one clear sign that you're into her! I am guessing this eye fucking happened all times except when you were ignoring her?
Love the 'literally tell myself to concentrate on the person I'm talking to than stare at her.' You probably so engrossed in her face you were like... wth did she just say LOLOL!

She was shy and it may be inexperience with guys or it can be because she has such strong feelings foryou she couldn't maintain it. What made you so sure that her looking away wasn't a sign of disinterest?

[LalaIbby90]

the 'tried to keep up' had loling as well!!! I feel like you guys had some staring contest 'who stares the longest wins' - super adorable !!

[Asker]

Well the first time I ignored her when we encounter each other (both of us were with friends) I saw her later on that day and we locked eyes because she saw me looking over even though I was in a group.

The next time I ignored her I did raise my voice and became loud but there were people around me who knew me and were my groupmates.

[Asker]

Because she did keep watching me and my moves and she always met my eyes but couldn't keep staring into mine for long. Guess she was really shy or like you said felt raw or something

[Asker]

She lost already lol. I thinking she had very feminine qualities. And the way she couldn't hold my gaze and look down or away was very telling. Seemed submissive

[Asker]

*I am thinking

[LalaIbby90]

She definitely did lose hahah! But was winning on the talking end bahahaha. So you guys are equal? 😆 Suddenly it's like a soccer match of goals scored. She couldnt eye fuck as good as you and you couldn't talk as good as her. Should give each other lessons.

You know I never really understood your choice of choosing the description submissive, what do u mean?

Also just saw the comment about you saying it's not possible for her to have kissed you because y''all strangers and she's shorter. I agree it's probably weird if she went in to be honest but surely you can't be that tall

[Asker]

By submissive I mean the way she acted. Like if she was a bit dominant then maybe she could have maintained the gaze confidently but she seemed a bit fragile types. Like shy and someone who blushes and starts looking down seems like a sub to me?

She's around 5.2 and she's curvy but she's thin as well and has a babyface so looks like a teen girl while I'm 5.10 so

[LalaIbby90]

Mhmm! I don't know but the words submissive and fragile are a bit demeaning in my POV. The way she seems is that she's generally confident but her feelings for u naturally made her more self-conscious and shy around you.
& lolol I'll trust you with the height thing. I don't do height in feet / inches. Aussie here and we do it in centimetres
It's a bit weird how such beautiful stories can be frustrating and painful. When you think about the moments some days it's like you're smiling to yourself and want to relive it and other days thinking about the moments brings a lot of frustration and pain as to the "what if something happened" - based on what I went through 3 years ago.
If this girl finds you on social media for example and talks to u would u talk back and full attempt a chat relationship from there or would u still prefer u saw her face to face spoke to each other considering U haven't seen her for 3mnths

[Asker]

Well I saw her again. Two days in a row in my dreams.

Fragile in the sense that she appeared rather soft and delicate lookin?

[Asker]

Yyah I would chat with her but for the relationship one I think it would be better in person than chats.

[LalaIbby90]

Seriously? W O W!! What were the dreams about if it's not too personal to tell. These dreams are ongoing and they're really not stopping!!

That's nice soft and delicate is good. Fragile seems like she's going to break any moment 😂 So she's a sweet delicate semi-shy girl , gotchya!!

I guess that would be a no. But fair enough you're a face to face kinda guy and that's your right. If wanting to have a relationship with this one is only possible through a face to face convo I hope you meet her soon! Is it because it's more personal and intimate facetoface , like you can read body language and there'll be more chemistry rather than your ordinary dry chatting?

[Asker]

I'm going crazy. On one side I dismiss them and on another I try to find out their meaning.
Its always different but the setting is always the same. Our university campus.
Sometimes I see her sitting with friends or by herself, sometimes talking to friends, sometimes doing errands around the campus, sometimes she appear serious or thoughtful in the dreams. I ve also seen her talk in her own language which I could make out in the dream.
Its always like these. Its actually been 15 times I ve seen her in a span of 3 months.

The vivid one had us holding hands and the love letter thing.

What I find funny is that I have her pic so I can see her but she don't even have my pic. So why will she even think much of me.

[Asker]

I think it will be more personal and intimate since I definitely would like to get together with her

[LalaIbby90]

That's super cool that you get to hear her speak her language in your dream. Like wowsie! I'd say that's pretty vivid considering you're not of the same language speaker and to see her speak not in the common language you share but hers is pretty... vivid! Have you ever heard her speak in her native language IRL?

What have you found so far about the meanings behind these dreams?

It sounds like to me you don't really know how to "talk" or continue conversation online, are u one of those guys who like a girl but when approached online with said girl you keep it short not to be rude but because you don't see the purpose behind online talking? (I've had guy friends tell me this about them before)

[Asker]

No never heard her speak in her native language. Always heard her speak English. But in 2 of my dreams she's speaking differently and I'm like watching from afar.

I dunno. Um confused as hell

[Asker]

I mean if I want her then I think its best to get together in person then chat online?

[LalaIbby90]

Normal to be confused. But I'm legit on the "your dreams mean something" train tbh. Not gonna lie. It's actually not normal to dream so much of someone regardless of how "unfulfilled" it is. There's a meaning behind it all. What is it? There's endless possibilities. It could like range from her playing a part in your future to her thinking about you and she's coming into your dreams (cultural thing I explained) to you thinking deeply about her before going to bed (hence the dreams). Or it can be a combination of all. But I'm totally on the "they definitely mean something." I'm with you there man, totes on your side with wth do these dreams mean.
Look everyone is different. I would say starting online or messaging would be super good , given we're the new generation it's actually a good gateway to open opportunity for meeting up face to face (even if it means travelling on your end) to talk. So the online thing would be a gateway to getting into "wondering if you were happy to hang out

[LalaIbby90]

And then when you meet her (flying over) you're able to talk face to face about deeper stuff and possibly then confess your feelings if she's showing signs (which islhighly likely) of reciprocation. That's how I would think about it.

But if your values are that it should all happen face to face and you don't really believe that online / messaging can open the door to potential meet up and face to face chat then I respect it. We're all different at the end of the day.

[Asker]

I can't even make out what is going on. I do hope she thinks about me. I mean I noticed that when I did not see her in my dream for at least 8 or 9 days in a row. I did think of her before going to bed but did not see her. I just did not see her no matter how much I remembered her.
So I cannot really put a green signal on I think of her that's why I see her.

Maybe they mean something but until it happens in real I'm skeptical

[Asker]

Yeah but that would be possible only if we found each other online. Couldn't find her on Fb and don't have her number either.

[Poppykate]

Oh sweetie. I feel for you! Hugs! 🤗 I hope things work out for you and your girl!

[LalaIbby90]

Oh okay! Yeah because there was a possibility that if every night you go fantasising about her or day dream about her that your mind will kind of drift off and see her, but if that's the case then that could be excluded. From experience if she's not thinking about you every day, you'll be on her mind 3-4x in the week. BUT if she goes back to campus those thoughts will increase 100%. Because where visual, we link places and people. So wherever she used to see you if she goes there, her thinking about you will go back up to nearly every day. Right now she's most likely thinking about either everyday or every couple of days. Again bc u don't get over eye-fucking with someone and having so much chemistry/sexual tension with someone and just get over it. It will pop up in her mind when she sees other couples/ watches a rom com/ talks about relationships/ feeling horny etc. It's the reality, you'll come to mind during those times take it from experience.

[LalaIbby90]

It also goes to the extent of seeing someone from your race or similar appearance she'll think of you. If another guy smiles at her or stares she'll think of you (remember this is because she had strong feelings for you). When she browses through social media FB or Instagram and sees couples or cute lovey quotes she'll think of you.
NOPE IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE. LITTLE "stupid" stuff make us remember the guy we were digging so badly. Stuff that will continue making us remember him.
Does not apply just to me, applies to so many other girls. Has nothing to do with sensitive or emotional person. Has to do with the fact females are very emotionally bound and many are helpless romantics.

[Poppykate]

I agree with @Lalalbby90. I feel like you are too busy living in your dreams with her, and actually fear risking anything real with her, in case it doesn't work out. But you could actually live the dream! You just need to believe, and go for it

[Asker]

@Poppykate thanks

[Asker]

Yeah I guess you are right. If we have some sort of connection then maybe when she thinks of me I see her in my dream.
I read some soulmate pages and ours kinda match but I'm not sure.
They also mentioned dreams of soulmate begins after they split.

[LalaIbby90]

Ooooo. You read it today? Tell us what did you read that you found kinda matching between you two?

The dreaming happening after the split, totally not surprised!

[Asker]

Why not surprised?,

It said instant magnetic attraction, intense connection, being at the same place yet unable to meet until the fated day, lots of intense eye contact, feeling of knowing each other (I did ask her have we met before) dreaming after split, splitting after intense connection etc

[Poppykate]

Soulmates also have dreaming before they met too, so don't give up hope. Also look up a thing call 'twin souls'. It explains another level of intimate relationships between individuals.

[LalaIbby90]

I guess her being so comfortable with you is also an indicator. You said earlier she spoke to you as though she's known you, because of how comfortable she was when talking with you. There could be a reason as to why she was feeling so comfortable, she may not know why, but she sounds like she was.

Yeah that's what I was saying earlier though about the soulmate thing because when i quickly read through an article I was like, this oddly sounds like the Asker and his girl. Yes I know you're skeptical but we all are when it comes to things we not used to believing prior. Like a lot of this sings of soulmate fit what you're experiencing. I'm so interested to know whether she's having dreams or feels the bond. I have no doubt about her thinking about you + feeling pain about your separation but I would love to know about if she dreams of u plus feels connected.

Did your cousin say anything useful about this "person who likes the girl" other than loser and stuff :/

[Asker]

No he didn't. He was making fun that's all.

Yeah I want to know as well. I do get these dreams about what about the other person? I didn't see her last night.

[Asker]

From what I heard she did look towards the main building on the day I was leaving. And for some reason she was quiet. It could be because she was gonna leave her friends and go back but yeah that's what I heard

[LalaIbby90]

Completely sucks tbh. The Arab guys I know (family / friends) are like that, they laugh at the fact if the guy "doesn't have the balls" to ask out. That's why when I spoke to my mates about your situation they weren't Arabs. I don't know why guys do that tho especially that most guys I believe have gone through difficulty in getting a girl they want. :/

So curious to know! Based on my belief I would say fuck yeah she would be dreaming about you (not sure if that often) given you do think about her and seems like a lot. But would still love to know because if yes, then talk about deep connection!

Day-dreaming is a certain tho. There's no maybes to her day dreaming of you or you two together. She'll day dream of that stare of yours, the way you spoke softly to her, the idea of you confessing your feelings, the feel of your hands against hers, hugging you, making out etc. And the urge to do it would have been high!!

Where you like in the main building?

[LalaIbby90]

Plus Being quiet? Yeahhhhh... that's not just for not seeing friends man. She was like semi-depressed. It was the final day she was going to see you and it was starting to sink in and she would've felt the pain of not having to see you again. She probably had her doubts of you asking her out if she picked up on your inability to speak to her. If she's smart, she woulda had a feeling (but holding onto hope) that you were going to struggle, so she was already feeling the loss. She would've been praying for more time.

[Asker]

On a lot of occasions we caught each other outside or near the main building. That particular day she was sitting outside a bit quiet with friends and I saw her look towards the main building once. She knew that was the last time of hers. I didn't know. I found out later on that she was gone.

[Asker]

I thought she had come to meet her friends before going. And I thought it was her leaving her friends that made her quiet. I did not believe that she was feeling anything for me tbh.

[Asker]

It took a while to get her departure to sink in. I found out 5 days after she left. And after that I suddenly discovered her pic I took the day we first saw each other and then that dream of us together. I dunno if it meant anything

[LalaIbby90]

Nah man. Not seeing your friends is upsetting but not to the point one would become quiet. You'd be laughing / hugging your friends basically s little over the top because you're making your last moments with them. Plus she has heir numbers and social media accounts most likely so it's not like she's losing touch.
The quietness is hurt / depressed / something is bothering her. I'll put money on the fact it's you.

Glancing towards where you usually see each other that's just proof she may be with friends but her minds with youuuuuuuuu

[LalaIbby90]

Also I hope you don't buildup anger or resentment towards her because of what you're going through

[Asker]

Really? I honestly thought she was unhappy to leave them hence appearing subdued. I never thought I wouldn't see again.

[Asker]

Yeah usually we encountered each other when we were outside so it was kinda of an emotional place. Many times i saw her when I was around the main building. In fact the first time I saw her I was near the main building.

[Asker]

No I'm not. I did have resentment during the time she didn't ask me out but now never

[LalaIbby90]

(1/4) You know what's really weird, I was at my half-cousins house today for dinner and I was telling her about you (Asker) and your entire situation (this whole discussion) and she was quiet. Mind you this girl is crazy (in a good way) so I had asked her why she didn't have an opinion/was quiet (out of character) and she said to me a guy recently at work did the same to her. She said she was heaps confused because sometimes he was full staring at her and they shared an intense eye contact moment and he did the whole soft voice thing but sometimes she felt ignored and he sometimes wouldn't say anything when she spoke to him which she found rude and hurtful (I explained in some situations that means he liked her a lot he didn't know what to say).

[LalaIbby90]

(2/4) She told me he left like 5 weeks ago to another place/work and nothing had happened. We both agreed that guys can be a little fucked (sorry Asker!!) and confusing. She was surprised to learn however that you (guys) still had feelings for your girl in Sweden despite ignoring her. My cousin poor soul thought the guy liked her "kind-of" but she wasn't sure because she said it was a lot of mixed signals. However the good news is that she still thinks about him and likes him a lot but she's convinced he's not into her. T he difference between your situation and hers, is that she has him on social media and has his number and he didn't even attempt to talk to her through there. So... makes all the difference I guess. 😬😬 😬

[LalaIbby90]

(3/4) Mind you I saw the guys picture , and I can tell you one thing, my half-cousin is gorgeous and he is okay looking (she jumped to his defence tho and said he was a nice guy from the 6months she worked with him + she found him attractive)... so not sure what happened there to be honest. My cousin is very bubbly and approachable but because this guy left and he didn't even try to talk to her over social media or message her, she became convinced he's not into her. She told me they're not friends tho so she found it hard to text him like she would've if he was one of her guy mates. I don't want to give her false belief so wanting your help for this one man? I honestly could not tell her for certain if this guy liked her because he did have means to talk to her online and he didn't, so that's pretty shit. What do you reckon?

[LalaIbby90]

(4/4) If you were in this guy's shoes would you messaged her at least or is this guy like not really into her? So hard to get it from a guys perspective and honestly pretty annoying that there seems to be a number of guys out there who do this type of ignoring.
Regarding your situation tho nahhhhhh man! If she was friends with them over the semester at uni then she'd have their numbers and have them on social media and they'd be connected. Girls won't go quiet over that. Her glancing back that day and her being quiet on the last day - it's obvious she was upset heaps that she wasn't going to see you.

[Asker]

I dunno but from my perspective if I really liked her I would message her considering I had her phone number. I am not sure but him not messaging even tho he has her no is strange.

[Asker]

I'm not sure if we will see each other again. I hope everyday because she was special. I vouch five myself I ve never looked at anyone like I have looked at her. I would go blank and all out look at her breathless. Never felt this way. From the first time I saw her even at a distance. It hurts to even think negatively

[Asker]

The soulmate thing I mentioned I forgot to addthe article mentioned synchronicity and before meeting her I heard of her country coz one of my best mates was going to study there and another went there for a wedding.
And recently on GAG I'm noticing lot of mixed race couple questions so idunno what's this now

[LalaIbby90]

Told her what you said (she killed me for even posting it on here). She cracked me up though she said this chick of yours in Sweden is lucky, because the guy that she likes lives here in Aus atm (not Aussie tho) and also from a different race (which is weird for her because she only dated Arab guys previously) and... nothing happened. I told her to not chase him or not bother only because he has means to contact her and he hasn't. I feel so bad for her tho she's really sweet and bloody good looking and she's going thro the hurt :/ Oh well what can you do this guy either had no balls to tell her he liked her or he was just playing around.
She said that if you ever have the opportunity to tell her you like her if you see her in sweden at campus then tell her especially that you're saying she's different and special. She was also surprised to hear about the dreaming and said the exact same thing I said "she's probably thinking about him or they're like soulmates" (yeah.. she's one of those)

[LalaIbby90]

She also wished you the best of luck and says she can't believe there are still decent guys out there. She became a little bit judgmental when I said u ignored your girl because that hit a nerve with her based on her experiences but when I explained why you did what you did, she said that girl in Sweden is missing out on a great guy.

[Asker]

Yeah maybe. I'm just exhausted. In a few days I will get to see whether my dreams were true or the reality is worse :/

[LalaIbby90]

Not sure about you but judging on what I saw from my half cousin, she looks not herself and pretty "exhausted". I think it has to do with how much energy she's put thinking about him and the hurt. She's really good at hiding things but you can tell she's not smiling or laughing loudly as she was before. I guess that's where the exhaustion comes from - placing a lot of energy on someone thinking about them and what it all meant

[Poppykate]

@Asker are you worried that she won't forgive you? If she truly has feelings for you, they won't just disappear like a puff of smoke. I have feelings for a friend I dated several times end of last year. Since then, he has largely ignored me. If he decided that he was serious, and wanted something serious with me, I would certainly consider it. As like I said, strong feelings, don't just disappear.

[Asker]

Yeah same. I saw myself thinking about her in my dream 3 days ago. Haven't seen her dream. But yeah exhaustion is too much. I don't know why I couldn't talk.
My female friends cling to me and I do that when we are joking or just playing pranks on each other but but with her I could not even open my mouth

[Asker]

@Poppykate yeah I do feel that way. She was defo hurt by my behaviour

[LalaIbby90]

What do you mean "haven't seen her dream"?

And sorry what do you when you're joking with friends (not sure what you're referring to - sorry!)?

Also do you feel she won't forgive you generally or won't forgive you in terms if she won't consider you as boyfriend material?

Don't know man. Based on @Poppykate's experience and my half-cousin, it seems like they're both willing to forgive the guy if it means he would be courageous enough to tell her how he feels. Not sure about @Poppykate but I do agree about the hurt bit, haven't seen my half-cuz this devo ever tbh, don't think she's used to guys ignoring her or making her feel invisible - same may apply to your girl

[LalaIbby90]

Also do you think that your girl kinda knew you were nervous and that's why'you couldn't talk?
Coz funny thing is my half cuz and this guy that she likes was also speechless or didn't say anything when she spoke to him. See my cuz is confused whether he Liked playing hard to get or he was deep down not interested and just playing games or whether he was truly just nervous. She did say he wasn't the guy she'd usually go for - loud and confident, this guy was more quiet but she said he spoke to other girl colleagues normally so she was hella confused and I can't blame her tbh and couldn't give her which one it was because I wasn't there when she was interacting with him.
So that's y wondering if your girl is probs confused too or picked up you're nervous?

[Poppykate]

There is really only one way to find out if she will forgive... and that's to ask. If you have such strong feelings for her, it shouldn't be such a problem.

[Asker]

I don't think she thought I was nervous. I'm very vocal and very confident and she saw me during my campaigning. I was in the centre and she has also seen me interact with women plus I was able to hold eye contact with her for prolonged periods so she must have thought I was really confident :/

[Asker]

My only issue was talking. I kinda messed a lot. I tried to get her attention by pretending I needed help but then then I asked a guy mate to help and I wasn't actually requiring any help and he blatantly asked me what I needed help with and got embarrassed and she was so right in front of me.
I tried to start a topic with him about the recent terrorist attack but he didn't help at all and I was left red faced on front of her. Plus I expected her to help but I guess I fucked up cuz I invited my mate 😕

[LalaIbby90]

(1 of 2) Yeah same with my half-cuz, the prolonged eye contact was there, seemed "normal" with female colleagues at least didn't ignore them or go speechless. I've been messaging her for the past couple of days and she's was saying to me how it's like she was unsure whether he didn't like her deep down but because of professional setting he had to be normal and the silence was a sign he didn't like her OR it was on the other end where he did like her but got nervous and didn't know what to say. She said she kept switching between the two thoughts because there were other signs like him looking at her and speaking softly at times and they had a switch back and forth of staring. But she's still hella confused. This is why I wouldn't be surprised if your girl is confused too.

[LalaIbby90]

2/2--My cousin doesn't have a low self esteem, like she's a softie and heaps nice, but she's confident in her looks and her personality yet she was having doubts and this guy made her question everything. That's why if your girl is attractive doesn't mean she won't be confused, or not like you still, or not have doubts. As I said earlier based on what I saw my cousin is ten folds more attractive, in my opinion considering she hasn't told anyone but me. But beauty lies in the eye of the beholder - and love is blind, let's just put it that way, it makes you overlook shitty stuff like ignoring if the guy ever confesses his feelings. The dream bit is surprising her heaps tho like it did with me. She's had a couple of dreams of the guy in the 5-6 weeks after he left but that's it and it was never her confessing her feelings to him or anything vivid. She said mostly she had three repetitive dreams of standing in a dark room with him but nothing is said - him not talking for to her

[Asker]

If there was another guy I'm my place who did all what I did for her do u think he would remember and still have feelings for the girl?

[LalaIbby90]

Well you'd bloody hope so!!! If girls can't figure out if a guy truly liked her because of ignoring & inability to talk you would hope to god that despite the behaviour he actually did like her and it wasn't in her head and he continues to like her.

A guy? Whether they'll continue liking? I've seen it in guys who have fallen in love with a girl, and they can't seem to get her out of their heads. I've only seen it in guys who truly love the girl. Those guys were frustrated by how they felt and why they couldn't "move on". Trust me some guys I know have done wayyyyy more like actually talked to her + messaged her + blatantly flirted etc. They still remembered said girl and she was on their minds. In front of the boys they'll never admit it except probs to one of their best guy mates or girl friends.

My cousin says to you - "she did as much man what you on about? "

[LalaIbby90]

2/2 - Some people don't believe hey can truly love someone until they know them. But I am a big believer of love at first sight.

[Poppykate]

I feel like @asker is going around in circles... in order to achieve a different result, you need to do something different!

[Asker]

I was made fun of when I told my cousin that a guy fell for a girl by seeing her when she was almost 20 feet away from him.

That was me and. He laughed saying it doesn't happen @PoppyKate

[LalaIbby90]

Apart from my previous response to @Asker, this is a response to @Poppykate I think from what I have gathered is that he really preferred the girl to ask him out or at least for her to confess her feelings to him, so that he has the courage to then talk to her or do something... am I right @Asker? Like if the girl lets just say I confesses her feelings to you or asks you out, ythat would be your ideal to be able to let something happen because you really do struggle with talking to her.

[LalaIbby90]

plus seems like you value your cousins opinion highly. It's sad that he's said that but I have to disagree with him. He may think that way, I've met guys who aren't Like that. Just because ur cuz didn't experience it doesn't mean it doesn't happen :/

[Asker]

I was quite far from her but I saw her and kept looking. But nobody buys that. Says its not possible cuz she's too far from me and how can I fall for her like that
I know what I felt and saw.

[Asker]

Yes right.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah initially you were far from her... but you guys have had closer distance, likes times where she's approached you and spoke to you or when you guys like locked eyes or something... so initially it was far off but you guys were of close distance for the other stuff? Its sad that your cousins opinion is weighing more than your own feelings and gut instinct

[Asker]

Yeah the second time I saw her that day I was enthralled. She looked so exotic. I couldn't stop staring and she saw me and turned away. Must have thought I was being creepy but later on she was looking at me too

[Asker]

She looks totally different from me like ya know? Olive skin brown eyes and dark long hair while I have blue eyes and light honey brown hair. I was so mesmerized. There are lots of Arabian and ethnic looking girls at my uni but she really caught my eye.

[LalaIbby90]

Plus it seems like I'm a world where she confesses her feelings first was the way to go... for anything to happen because u two had really strong chemistry and sounds of it that bond is strong

[Asker]

I can only imagine what would have occurred if we got together? With just eyes and body language we had so much intensity and attraction.

[LalaIbby90]

Yes you guys did no doubt. I would imagine one hell of a romance throughout the day and people needing sound proof walls at night !

[Asker]

Lol why sound proof walls tho?

[LalaIbby90]

And cool to know she's Arabian, one of the homies! Damnnnnn, if I was your friend I would've helped with hooking you two up!

[LalaIbby90]

HAHAHa I thought u' did get my gist. WHY do people need sound proof walls at night... take a guess please. But if she's Arabian, she most likely has to stay a virgin till after marriage. But there's other ways to have fun.

[Asker]

No she's not Arabian. I meant there are plenty of Arab girls with similar appearance. She's not Muslim or Arab

[Asker]

yeah I got it lol. I did think of it involving her quite a lot tho. But I used to think about her frame considering she's so small. I remember when we shook hands her hand was so thin.

[LalaIbby90]

Oh oh I got you! I thought you said Arabian, no biggie. Glad u liked how she looked

[Asker]

I still can't believe I failed in talking to her and having such huge expectations.

[LalaIbby90]

Huge expectations, hell yes especially after ignoring. Failed to talk to her, you can't beat yourself up. You were attracted, you were nervous. It's normal.

But in your scaenario, the only way anything woulda happened is if she came up to you and confessed her feelings. She doesn't know you to know that that was the case.

Sadly due to failed communication and possible confusion, nothing happened. I'd laugh if one day she finds u on social media and sends you a messsage

[Poppykate]

@asker I think we all go into things with HUGE expectations. Unfortunately, when we do this we always end up disappointed, even if the situation turns out to be way better than usual. If you do met up with her, try to go into the situation with an open heart and mind. And just enjoy yourself.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate @Asker Won't be on here as often anymore. I have assessments due soon and really need to start focusing. Great knowing you guys! Good luck Asker with your girl, hopefully your dreams do come to life. If anything were to happen feel free to comment on here at any time and let us know! After all this talk for like a month I'd love to know if there was an outcome or not in the next couple of weeks/months! :)
Good news tho, after speaking to my half cuz a lot, she's finally looking more like herself. Guess she really needed to talk to someone about it. She's decided to put the guy behind her and look forward to new things. She's now with a mentality that whatever happened with the guy happened, it was good but that's all. She's decided not to overthink it anymore and decided she deserves better. She'll still see him on Instagram but she's finally smiling and laughing normal again! Sorry I love this girl and I'm happy for her :D

[LalaIbby90]

And adding to that comment my cousin applauded you for thinking about this girl for 3 months. She says to you she couldn't handle 5/6 weeks of the not seeing him after he left to another place, and all the did he / did he not thoughts and what if scenarios. So she's decided as of last night she's more important. She applauded your strength because she's decided to let go and feels free now. She says she doesn't hate the guy, she'll continue liking or commenting normal on his IG pics and if she were to see him in professional setting she'll be cool about it like they never shared anything. She thinks you're a champ for holding on so long and having hope. She's now open to other guys who may be interested in her - she let down a guy 4 weeks ago with hopes that he may message her and nothing. She says if he can talk to all other girls and ignore her , then he can screw himself because she has standards. I'm so proud of her.

So Good luck from her and I mate!

[Asker]

I went to my uni today and found out what I was dreading. She will not come back. She's gone. Her course was finished.
Anyway thank u all for your help. All the best.

[LalaIbby90]

SHiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt mannnnnnnn!!! That sucks. Stupid question, but seriously how are you feeling? 😣

[Asker]

Broken. I guess all dreams were fake

[LalaIbby90]

So sorry man!!!

Not one to give false hope and I don't want to come off that way. You don't need to hold onto hope but your dreams may not necessarily be fake.

People have crossed paths and bumped into one another in different continents of the world.

In your scenario, I don't think it's the end. I wouldn't be surprised if you crossed paths or met in the distant future. Again you don't need to hold onto hope, but something you can put aside you and if you were ever to see her again, embrace her fully in a positive mindset.

[Poppykate]

I am so sorry! I was hoping that you would have a happy ending!

[Asker]

But why do u think its not the end? I lost it

[Asker]

@Poppykate :/

[LalaIbby90]

Well generally because of everything you've told me.

I just find it hard to believe that for someone who has dreamt consistently and numerous about someone and not because of 1/ thinking about them before going to bed, 2/ thinking about her all the time throughout the day, 3/ unfulfilled desire (especially you have had unrequited ones before) - that there is meaning behind it. I'm not even talking about the fact that you've had vivid dream just simply of how often you've dream about her + the bond / attraction you felt and she did too. her being there now is highly disappointing. But I honestly am not ruling out you seeing her in the future. I do think it'll happen because so many people who thought they'd never see each other (not necessarily just couples/ lovers) bump into each other despite living in two different countries and have different lives.

[LalaIbby90]

(Continued) Yes it seems impossible for someone in the situation to think that way but, based one everything you said, but I reckon you're going to bump into her one day and that's why I'm saying if you end up seeing her, don't fall into the "she hates me" "not interested" etc hole. Approach with an open and positive mind because just because you kinda messed up the first time doesnnt mean you have to the second time.

[Poppykate]

@asker I meant story.. and they lived happily ever after... not quite what you are thinking... but if that is your happy ending... each to their own. Lol 😂

[Poppykate]

I agree with @Lalalbby90 just because you are in different countries for now, doesn't mean you won't meet back up again in the future. You need to remain positive that she has positive feelings towards you!

[Asker]

I don't know if it will ever happen. People move on. She may move on with another guy :/

[LalaIbby90]

People do move on. That's natural. You may end up with a girlfriend before she ever ends up with a guy. She may have that insecurity too or had that insecurity about you moving on and dating another girl.

But even if you do end up with another girl or she ends up with a guy, what I'm saying is that this world isn't black and white. It works in funny ways. So many people (lovers and non-lovers) haven't seen each other for a while despite having two different lives and live continents away but somehow cross paths, they either become friends or form a relationship. It's why I say, those dreams man don't seem like BS. I think they mean something based on what you've told me. Just because it seemed like you're not going to see her doesn't mean you won't. She may end up with a guy that may or may not work out and she may stay single for a long time. Man there are so many girls who have been single for a long time and they completely okay with it because they'd want a great guy not anyone

[Poppykate]

I feel like this conversation is going around in circles. You need to find a way to contact her. It's not like she is on another planet! I am sure you can find a way. Be her friend. Start being a Pen pal.

[Asker]

I am going back to my uni in a week. Classes going to resume. I hope to see her as the person who said she's gone isn't sure if she's gone or not as they said he's not sure but he thinks she's gone.

But my issue will be whether she will still like me or not. Im 99% sure she won't but my dreams give me hope

[Poppykate]

Why would someone leave mid semester? I am sure she will return! Just apologise for ignoring her!

[Asker]

@Poppykate they said she finished her degree. He knew her country of origin too and the day she left so initially I thought he really knew.
But then he was like I'm not sure i don't think she will return etc.
That gave me some hope

[Poppykate]

Well I do hope too, that you see her again soon! 😊

[LalaIbby90]

So uhhh, apart from you ignoring her what gives you such confidence (99%) that she won't like you?

[Asker]

Its been 3 months without any contact

[Asker]

@Poppykate me too

[Poppykate]

Hang in there sweetheart! Hugs to you! 🤗🤗

[LalaIbby90]

IM so curious to know like if u see her , what are you going to do tho? Like attempt to talk to her and start off as friends? or attempt to talk and ask out? OR are u going to continue staring hoping to god she'll ask out or confess her feelings? What r ur expectations of the ideal scenario

[Poppykate]

@asker I agree! What is your plan?

[Asker]

Well of she's here and we see each other I will probably look for her reaction first. If she still shows signs of liking me then I will approach

[LalaIbby90]

Nice, what does approach mean to u tho? Like talk (if you can) as a colleague/acquaintances, , flirt, ask out? Just to get a sense of your plan if she does still show signs of liking

I get it I think ur needing validation face to face that she still likes u that's why you won't bother with trying to find her online or ask around if someone knows if she has social media / number - am I right?

[Asker]

Yeah. Without validation how can I approach. If she's no longer interested. I can't jump on her.

[LalaIbby90]

Wow you're really different. Like many people get validation through becoming friends and talking online / number - they suss it out.

BUt you are like nope has to be face. I'm not even sure even sure if you'll have the courage to talk to her even I feel she gives u looks

[Poppykate]

But I guess since you guys already know each other, maybe it is best to talk it out face-to-face. But if she is really shy, she isn't going to walk right up to you and say hi. She might just give you a little smile, but that's it. You might need to be the one to make the move on this one buddy. Quiet, shy girls can be hard to get their attention, but generally they are extremely loyal and faithful in relationships. (Or so I have heard from other guys) Definitely worth pursuing!.

[Asker]

Yeah even a smile will do. I just need to know she's there and still interested.

[Poppykate]

She is still interested! Feelings don't just disappear!

[Asker]

@Poppykate yeah but I fear it. The whole situation was staring. I m fearful of out of sight out of mind thing. We no longer saw each other. So I feel hopeless.

[LalaIbby90]

May I correct? It was staring, eye fucking, and her approaching trying to make conversation with you. Way more than just staring.

Plus, you said she's sweet? What's the worse than can happen if you tried to find her online / number by asking others and trying to talk / initially be friends? Likes she's not going to bite you - she most likely will be flattered that you've went through hell to find her and made the time to even talk to her (just in case you won't see her face to face). If I were this girl, I'd rather live knowing a guy still tried even months after... than having something so great and then... nothing?

[Asker]

I can't find her. I only know her first name and tried searching but couldnt. I would definitely send friend requests if I found her but I can't
She's not there. Even if she is, she's probably by another name and maybe that's shy I can't find her

[LalaIbby90]

I thought given u like her a lot it would be worth asking ur friends or her friends or someone that new her about her full name or whether she had Facebook or something just in case u don't see her, y'know?

Like clearly u think about her everyday, dream about her a lot, like her a lot, mesmerised by her looks and I hope you see her face to face because I agree with @Poppykate about her not loosing feeling that's easily. I spoke to my cuz the other night and she said "she's decided not to be controlled by the hurt of him ignoring her and not knowing how her truly felt but it doesn't mean she's over him." It was seriously interesting to hear that.

[Asker]

No I don't know her friends either. I recognise them by face but don't know the names.

[LalaIbby90]

Dammmnnnnn praying that you'll see her man!! COZ IF U DO, u better go up to her and talk 😅😅
DO not underestimate the power of females obsessing over a guy secretly

[LalaIbby90]

What I mean is that if u do end up seeing her face to face and let's say she ignores you please don't take that as she isn't interested it just may mean that she's hurt or embarrassed that she got ignored.

[Asker]

Its a losing situation on all sides I guess. If not there, no chance. If there and ignores then can't shove myself in the face
I guess I should just forget and let it be. Whatever was in the past and I highly doubt anyone will give someone their time of the day based on staring. Like you said before. A 2 week staring thing that went downhill isn't worth remembering. Plus when the person is cute, they have plenty of options. I'm sorry I sound idiot I but I'm hopeless

[LalaIbby90]

I never said it was never worth remembering.
You seem hopeless, a lot.
Ideally it would've been fantastic if she confessed her feelings or asked out but we don't know why she didn't. It could've beeen the mentality that guys need to ask out, or she was too shy, or feared you'd reject her because something about you made her doubt you'd go out with her.
But this is why I'm saying if you see her, it's pretty normal she's not going to give you the same stares not necessarily because there's no feelings there BUT because deep down her insecurities about whether you liked her or not will eat her away!
So the ball is in your court mate!

[Asker]

She knew I did. I clearly showed her. If I only wanted to stare and enjoy her looks I wouldn't attempt getting her attention. I was doing it on purpose. To talk and want.
She understood my motives. Yeah the ignoring may have given mixed signals but no time plus desperate looking etc made me hold back. she should have understood I was having communication probs :/

[Asker]

I haven't seen of heard of her in my dream since 1 week. I'm scared if our connection is over. Though my gut feeling says it isn't
But I'm sad. It is weird how they aren't coming when we are supposedly going to see each other (if there) . some guy on his blog wrote these dreams stop once soulmates are supposed to meet physically but I doubt if we are even soulmates :/

[Poppykate]

Sometimes I feel like that about mine. He shuts me out. But I try to remain open in love and support for him.

[LalaIbby90]

She would've saw that you had communication problems but mix that with ignoring - and she'll get heaps confused if you were nervous around her OR simply not as interested especially if you spoke to people around you normally but not her. From her lens, I can see how confused she would've been.

I can totally see that she liked you a lot. But given you saw her and know her, how certain are you she really liked you? Like what gave it away that she wanted to date you?

1 week of no dreams - Mhmmmmm! I like that your guts are telling you it's not over though - trust your guts.

[Asker]

She was reciprocating. It was obvious. If a girl reciprocate a stranger constantly looking at her, she's into him. She even tried smiling. And she talked. Plus I did see her looking at me but subtly. Not like I used which was so obvious.

[Asker]

I don't know. I think of her daily but not seeing her anymore. Godknows. Maybe all those dreams were just fake nonsense

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah, look I said to you from a girls perspective she liked you a lot. But I've never seen her, so I wanted to make sure you were able to see whether she was into you dating wise or wanting a hookup before she left the country, you know?

She seems experienced though - in the sense that she was able to give you the right signs of "hey man I'm interested, let's get together" but not make it obvious to those around her.

Okay scenario - let's just say 3 months ago on the last day of uni she came to you and she stated to you that she really liked you and she wanted you to know. How would you have reacted or what would've you said to her?

I truly believe the dreams meant something - no joke.

[Asker]

I thought in the hook up sense it would be more easy. Considering if two people just want to have sex with each other isn't it easier to ask or show the intentions.. Hesitation to ask, talking and wanting attention isn't a hook up thing right?
Becoz in hook ups people don't really care about impressing hence there's no need to be nervous or hesitant?

[Asker]

I would have said yes and exchanged no's to keep in contact constantly.
She may think I wanted her as a hook up :/ I wouldn't have so many communication issues of I only wanted to sleep with her

I doubt the dreams now

[LalaIbby90]

So hook up wise it would be more blatant flirting, and commenting on each other's physiques usually and some comment about have a one off thing - which wasn't the case on your end and seems like hers as well?

You guys didn't have the "hook up" especially by how you acted. There were feelings involved (nervousness, hesitation) with the whole sexual tension (staring). Your situation comes off as interested in dating or at least "I think you're pretty and you make me nervous" kind of vibe but not "I just want sex."
She would've picked it up that you think she's pretty, you like her giving you attention and that she made you nervous. I think where it fell for her is whether you were willing to take the next step - that's where the miscommunication happened.

[LalaIbby90]

Also - Both of you seemed to acknowledge that you found each other attractive and that you both liked each other and made each other nervous. The whole "will he/she ask me out" is what stuffed both of you up big time.
She seemed confident enough to tell you but chose not to - her reasons are unknown and that's why I wanted to make sure she wasn't looking at you as a potential hook up.
But nah, I don't believe someone dreaming about someone so often and vividly could be fake and nonsense.

[Asker]

yeah that's what I was saying. It would be easier to talk if both of us just wanted to bang each other. Meaning if both parties have experience in casual sex then wouldn't it be easy for them to approach?

[LalaIbby90]

See I know you said earlier that you have hooked up but we can't assume she has had casual sex. She may have had previous relationships and a healthy sex life but not necessarily casual sex. But given hook ups as you said is just a carefree nothing to lose kind of thing - she wouldn't have hesitated to approach you because she would have just put it out there and it would be yes lets bang or no. She wouldn't care what you would think. So yes this reiterated the fact that you guys really liked one another but it was the falling in the whole "who will make the first move" - none of you did, and it fell through the cracks. Honestly based on everything and i hate to be saying this, but she should've asked you out or at least told you honestly about how she felt then u could've done the asking out after the confession because that would have saved you both the pain and agony.

[Poppykate]

But given the kind of girl you described, do you really think she would have been interested in just a hookup?

[Asker]

Yeah it has nothing going on there. Nobody cares about impressing a hook up. Its just like we want to bang and that's it. So I thought of it was a hook up thing the approaching would be much easier.

[Asker]

The lack of time was also a huge factor. The timing of our meeting was wrong.

[LalaIbby90]

That's true. Wanting to be a couple is pretty clear from a third part objective. I'm not convinced though she knew whether you wanted to take it to the next step. As I said she knew she made you nervous and you thought she was pretty and all, but I get the feeling when I step into her shoe she was not sure whether you wanted to take it to the next step of actually dating. I don't think it's bad timing either to be honest. I think regardless if you had two weeks together or two months - time wasn't a significant factor. Communication was. Expectation was another.
I'm not sure if she ever WAS going to ask you out first, but if she was then she may have hesitated after you ignored her.
If she wasn't going to ask you out first, then she may have expected you to do it and face your nervousness because she was "worth it".
Does that make sense to you?
But all in all, yes she liked you heaps, something about you made her heart melt from the get go.

[Asker]

It was a bad timing honestly tbh. The session had ended & I was merely coming to uni coz of the 2 week campaign for my group. Constantly busy & on the go.
It wasn't the best time to meet up. Had we met under stable conditions with no chaos it would have been much easier

[Asker]

Yeah it was the same on both sides. It was instant attraction. I oggled at her & she did ever since we saw each other.

[LalaIbby90]

As in if you had more time, you would have eventually built the courage to say something to her if she didn't build the courage? Or you reckon she would've eventually told you if the timing was more?

having to be attracted to someone and not having the chance to act upon the attraction is pretty FRUSTRATING on both ends. not sure how much of a romantic u are, but girls are pretty romantic, the idea that she couldve been your girl and had dates with u/ hold hands/ spend time with u - that all went through her head 99.9%

[Asker]

Well I think I'm romantic considering I literally ad love at first sight and would stare at her like crazy & wanted her & thought of her & ways to attract her attention but I can't really say. Douthinkguys who acted like me are romantic?

[Asker]

If she said it then I would have gotten tons of courage & would say it myself

[LalaIbby90]

You sound romantic but what kind of thoughts do u have about her?

Yeah she shoulda just at least told u that she had feelings for you even something like, "hey, i want to tell you something, i think i like you and want to get to know you more" so that you couldve then admitted it.

What made you lose courage - what about her made you lose courage to say something?

[LalaIbby90]

also also added onto that comment since u think about her a lot and given "my beliefs" i wouldn't be surprised if she's dreaming of u too

[Asker]

Never had the courage. Could barely start a convo. Wanted the other person to talk. its disgusting.

[Asker]

Maybe. A page said maybe when I don't dream she dreams of me. Hope that's true

[Poppykate]

I like that idea! When you dream of them, they are dreaming of you! It's rather sweet!

[LalaIbby90]

But there would be a reason why you didn't have the courage? Is it something in particular about her that made u that nervous? OR just simply because you liked her?

It's not disgusting! Don't say that!

Im pretty sure she dreams about you too man. We all have dreams about our crushes! It can go from "normal" dreams to weird dreams to naughty dreams. But they're dreams - we all have them.

Based on everything - it would be so goddam weird if she never thought of you or sat their daydreaming. Girls day dream a lot. She would've daydreamed about every moment u two had and about fantasy scenarios between u 2

[Asker]

I liked her. A lot. Also didn't know he to approach or how to start.

[LalaIbby90]

"I liked her. A lot." - seriously the cutest shit I've heard all day!!
If it makes u feel better we both believe she liked you a lot too! The good thing is that it was mutual and not one sided 👌🏻

[Poppykate]

Yes! I agree!

[Asker]

That's why it hurts. It was mutual. From the first day itself.

[Asker]

The fact she admitted she couldn't concentrate after eyelock speaks volumes

[LalaIbby90]

Does speak volumes tbh. You really affected her.
Why do u think she didn't confess her feelings?

[Asker]

Seemed shy and maybe went through the same feelings as me.

[LalaIbby90]

To bring a little humour to the depressing stuff, you know that meme "and now kiss" where the troll is bringing the two heads together. I just seriously feel like doing it to you two idiots like... OMG after everything can you kiss already?
It's like those movies where two characters are clearly having real chemistry and sexual tension and no one admits their feelings and you just want to bring their heads closer and go "now kiss" and all shall be solved - words, like what words? No words are needed with so much tension/ eye heart eyes!
But yeah a little humour to the depressing vibes! She sounds shy but also confident, especially that's she's approached u and tried to get to know about your stuff.

[Asker]

My stupidity took the worst of me. Her reply to have we met before pissed me off. I grabbed her shoulder too. My idiocy :/

[Asker]

I remember she wore a dress which was a sheer one. wasn't naked or anything. But it was sheer around her arms and chest and I was so madly attracted to her that day that I kept coming back to her in hopes. But messed up everything.

[LalaIbby90]

Wow she sounds gorgeous and has a good sense of fashion.
You never told us what thoughts / romantic thoughts u have of her?

[Asker]

I thought sexually and romantically. Like kissing cuddling. Being boyfriend & girlfriend.

Last night I saw her in my dream

[Poppykate]

That's sweet!

[LalaIbby90]

That's so cute man!!! Totally adorable. Yes you're the romantic kind!! She's lucky to have someone who likes her a lot and has those thoughts! But she has them about you too given she's a girl and we're kind of predictable with our way of thinking. So not only are your feelings reciprocated so are the romantic thoughts. She definitely wanted you to be her boyfriend and share cute moments together based on everything she tried to do to get you to ask out.

Oooo. What was the dream about?

[Asker]

Nothing special. Just saw her twice doing random stuff. There were people around her and I was watching her. That's it

[LalaIbby90]

Pretty special that you see her a lot in your dreams I might say. They're kinda driving u up the walls tho aye?

[Asker]

Definitely
Don't even know if it means anything or just tricks. I guess it will be clear soon. I wish the vivid confession one comes true.

[LalaIbby90]

But you'll need to write her a letter in that case 😜
You'll be doing the confessing 😜

[Asker]

lol. I don't even know if my dreams are a joke or some fotelling.

[LalaIbby90]

That many times? A joke?

I don't think so. What do they really mean - we don't know. But do they mean something? I'm certain.

She's thinking about you is my guess. Or talks about you.

The leaving her with uncertainty and unanswered hopes alone is a killer of a bitch to make you think about someone for a long long time.

Trust me, she most likely thinks you've forgotten about her and don't even think about her. That would hurt so much - she's probably waiting to see you or hopes to see you to get answers or a sign you still like her. What you think @Poppykate?

[Poppykate]

I agree! I was dating a guy that has choosen to ignore my emails. It's hurtful. I will write one every couple of weeks or so, ( and have written one recently) and he still chooses to ignore. I can't help but think that he is not interested.

[Asker]

What could be the reason for dreams to occur over someone I haven't seen in a while and most likely won't see if I follow that guys words?

Do you think if a guy did the stuff I did to a girl and then left and didn't see her would he remember or still feel for her?

[Poppykate]

I can only talk from personal experience. But I would forgive my guy in a heartbeat, because I have very strong feelings for my guy. All he would need to do is say 'sorry for ignoring you, I know I hurt you, and I am sorry' and all would be immediately forgiven and forgotten. Why? Because that is what love is. It's about forgiveness. Love also doesn't just go out, or away. For this particular guy, it seems to be always there.

[LalaIbby90]

Forgot to ask, I'm a fashion freak and into this shit what was the colour of dress?

Also what makes you so sure you won't see her? No one said you won't bump into her in the future.

Okay let me ask you this, and think from an outsiders box and don't get your emotions involved. If a girl did what your girl did, do you think she'll still think about and feel that she's somehow hooked onto him? Do you think she'll dream about him? Why/why not?

Again think about this from an outsiders perspective and your experience as well.

[Asker]

Which dress? The sheer one? It was black.

[Asker]

Not sure about dreaming but yeah she would think of the guy as girls are more emotional in these matters. However what's your opinion on a guy who did what I did?

[Poppykate]

I think that question was aimed at you @Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

Great! So now you know that she's definitely had you on her mind and was emotional about the whole thing. Something to make your heart melt or be happy about!

My opinion, is that if you did what you did with her and forgot about it and didn't dream about her, I would say what you felt was lust or a crush even. That fades away easily, 2-4 weeks MAX and you're not really thinking about him/her.

However if you continue thinking about someone, dream about them, and still desire to be with them, then your feelings for this person has exceeded the lust / crush stage. May not necessarily be love but it is not just a crush.

So what you're experiencing is normal for someone who had developed strong feelings for someone.

[Asker]

Yeah but o mean what do u think if another guy did all this? What I did? Would he remember girl and still have the feels for her?

[Poppykate]

Well clearly you do have feelings for her. Are you worried that she will question if you have feelings for her?

[LalaIbby90]

Like stare at her and try to get her attention? Well that's just showing you're interested in her and giving her hints that you want her. Which she did exactly with you.

But will a guy get over it and continue to have feelings? Depends on the guy and the situation. It all depends on how much a guy likes the girl.

If he does, then it's normal with what you're feeling. If it was just sexual tension without deep feelings a guy (even a girl) will get over it and move on. It'll just be a distant memory!

Are you scared that she doesn't have feelings for you anymore?

[Asker]

Well yeah. O maybe a distant memory. Who remembers a person they stared at for 10 days

[Poppykate]

Who stares at someone for 10 days! And doesn't remembers! Lol 😂

[Asker]

@Poppykate nobody remembers of cares after a gap of 4 months

[Poppykate]

Really? 😳 I do! 😔

[LalaIbby90]

It's a bit hypocritical to say that you're able to remember her after 10 day she of staring but she won't..

[Poppykate]

I agree!

[Asker]

Not saying that because of any bias or hypocrisy. Just using my logic. Not using my heart because if I do it will hurt.
I can't tell if it was just a crush or deep. Feelings

[LalaIbby90]

Ahhhh men and logic! It already hurts though! If you're still thinking about her, then a girl who is naturally more tied to her emotions will be too. Now that's my logic. If you believe she had strong feelings for you and you weren't just a crush. I do think she liked you a lot - she did a lot on her end and seemed keen on beginning a relationship with you! Sucks balls that you guys didn't have extra time together and that you both had the same expectation of each other and you're hurting and she most likely is too.

[Poppykate]

I am getting to the point where I want to kick @Asker ass! Like seriously! They only way you will know is if you ask her!!! Find a way! And how is it that in this day and age, neither of you have Facebook? It doesn't make sense! No mobile, or phone number, email, address etc. it's like she has gone to another planet. In the old days if a guy had feelings for a girl, he would suck it up and write some romantic crap on a letter, card etc. It worked.

[LalaIbby90]

Adding to @Poppykate'a comment and my previous comment - what worked for you in the past though? Like what did you do with your previous girlfriends and what did they do - for you guys to be together. We're there the staring elements and sexual tension? If yes then what happened? Details of exactly what happened between you and your exes to be an item would be good - so we know how to distinguish your Current situation with your precious ones. So details?

[LalaIbby90]

Please excuse the spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes - this app is weird.
Were *
Previous ones *

[Asker]

@Poppykate how many times do I need to tell you she NEEDS TO BE PHYSICALLY PRESENT AT UNI AND STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME.
ALSO doesn't HAVE FB.

How come you don't understand such a simple thing?

[Asker]

It wasn't so intense with my exes that's all I can say

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah it's pretty clear your feelings for this girl was intense and it wasn't so intense with others.

I just kind of wanted to get a general sense of your interaction with the other girls and also their role in making things happen (so on both sides) - that'll just give me an idea.

Even if you initiated with the others I'd understand given low intensity feelings and it was harder with this one.

The reason I asked was to get clarity of how you're generally when it comes to showing interest in a girl and how the girl has responded. Like the process of knowing you guys are attracted to each other to when you start dating.

[Poppykate]

But she isn't coming back! So unless you find a way to contact her, it is not going to happen. You said that you know some of her friends, why not ask for her email or phone number?

[Asker]

@Poppykate I never said I know any of her friends. I clearly said I don't know them and just recognise them by face.

[Asker]

Anyways let it be now. There's almost 0 chance of anything happening according to my wishes. It is said man proposes god disposes.
That's what happened and will probably happen.

[LalaIbby90]

Damn. Okay :/

[LalaIbby90]

To say something positive: I do respect the fact that when u initially thought she had a boyfriend you didn't initiate anything. That's pretty respectful, you only showed signs when she gave you looks. ✌🏻

[Poppykate]

I am so sorry @asker, I didn't mean to be mean. It was frustrating going around in circles. We were just trying to help you.

[Asker]

Well tbh I just wanted to know of she liked me. I got the answer so I proceeded.

[Asker]

Its frustrating. Yesterday had the dream again. After 3 days. I don't know how to put a stop. Its not going to go anywhere yet these dreams

[Poppykate]

You are having these dreams because you still have such strong feelings for her.

[Poppykate]

It's odd, I dream of my crush on a regular basis, even though it has been months. So unfortunately, I don't have the answers on how to make the dreams stop.

[LalaIbby90]

I agree. Your feelings are strong and they're super cute. They won't stop with such strong emotions, and if there's the other meanings (soulmate / her thinking about u too) then they won't stop either. Something no one can control - but it's not necessarily a bad thing, you get to see her in your dreams! Or does that make u feel horrible when u wake up?

Was it vivid or regular mundane dreams?

[Asker]

Regular one. But these days in quite pissed so I don't get it. I didn't see her for a week in my dreams then saw one and after 3 days again last night. I haven't been to my uni till now but I saw her there in my dream so I dunno if she's really there or not.

[Asker]

What I don't understand is I think daily but sometimes it goes 7-10 days without any dreams and then suddenly starts again. Thus dream profess began after separation.

[Asker]

*dream process

[LalaIbby90]

Most of the explanation I got was about desires not being met and your unconscious replaying it in your dream especially if you think daily. Which isn't the case because of past experiences as you've told me.

The other explanation I got was strong ties with someone - strong bond between the two people. Usually both parties dream about each other every couple of days / everyday, usually begins after separation. Which we know is true on your end (unsure about her end).

The other one was my interpretation - her constantly thinking about you and you end up dreaming about her. If you think of her daily then I highly suspect she dreams of you too (but this is my interpretation).

There's 3 possible explanation. I don't know which one you're learning most towards.

I think if she saw you too and she saw that you still liked her she may actually end up approaching you and not taking the risk of you not asking her out. She may be in your position of "he may not even remember me" 🤔

[LalaIbby90]

Also what's making you pissed?

[Asker]

This dream thing. Its so unclear if we are ever going to see each other and even if we do if the other person has feelings for me yet they keep showing up.
Its a bit irritating.

[LalaIbby90]

I'm telling you I wouldn't be surprised if she still thinks about wondering the exact same thing , whether you still have feelings for her or whether she'll ever see you.

She probably has the same thoughts of even if she does see you, would u still like her?

You guys went through the same thing when u last saw each other the whole attraction and showing each other that you both wanted one another big time but you both sucked at communicating your feelings (you guys are kind of similar in many ways!).

So I wouldn't be surprised if she has same thoughts of liking you still but not knowing if you still do or ever will see you or even has dreams about u. Even if she had the chance she probably won't approach you until she sees you physically and makes sure u still feel that way.

[LalaIbby90]

Added to my comment - do you regret not just asking her out the last day of uni? Or do u think she regrets it?

[Poppykate]

I am probably guessing both! I feel for the both of you!

[Asker]

Of course I do. I regret it deeply.

[Asker]

I don't know about her

[LalaIbby90]

would you ever hate her for nothing ever happening? Or do u know it's not really her fault?

It's such shitty thing that two people who really wanted one another so badly couldn't be together because each thought the other would do it... Like if you think about it there was no obstacle but the fact u two didn't confess out of lack of courage :/

But I would say that she most likely still thinks about u, possibly believes you're over her, if ever to approach most likely needs validation of seeing you and u showing signs u still do, possibly hurting and regrets her not asking you out back then to. This is all based on everything u said about her and what I guys shared.

[Asker]

Initially i was super pissed at her but now I'm not. We were strangers so it was impractical to even think of asking put on the first chat itself.

[Poppykate]

Why were you pissed off at her? Because she didn't make a move?

[LalaIbby90]

I'm glad you saw the light. Annoyance and frustration is normal, but wow u were super pissed !
@Poppykate yes that's what he means

[Poppykate]

Thanks @lalalbby90 for clarifying!

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate That's okay. His expectations were that she would ask him out I think because she was the one to approach to talk and when that didn't happen, I guess he was disappointed pretty bad and it pissed him off. Seems like the more he thought about it and the more he spoke about it he realised that she actually may have had the same expectation of him asking out and at the end of the day they both liked each other a lot from day 1.

[Asker]

Yeah now when I think of it it's like how can two people who don't even know each other start dating without even properly chatting.
The more I think of all those memories and this ugly reality the more it hurts

[LalaIbby90]

Yesssss exactly man!!! That's what I was saying really really early on in this discussion her attempt at trying to talk to u or asking you about your stuff or whatever was her trying to know more about you (other than you're male and interested). She wanted this "talking" to continue, for you to talk back to her or somehow find ways to chat because she was thinking of uni nearing up and it ending, and wanted to fasten the process of "let's talk, get to know each other and then the lets go on a date". It would have been the most comfortable way for her to confess and ask whether you wanted to go for coffee/lunch/ dinner / movies /bowling etc after chatting more with you. She may or may not have picked up that you won't just go and ask her, and her way of "talking" to you was her way possibly to start chatting to make her comfortable to spill her heart out or casually ask if you wanted to join her on the weekend to do something. She may have found it hard without chatting

[Asker]

I'm stupid. I acted like a bitch and was being a bitch towards her. It is terrible. Any self respecting woman won't talk to me but I hope

[Poppykate]

Maybe she thought that because she did the approaching, that he needed to do the asking! You know... to kinda let her know that he was interested. Because clearly she was, as she did the approaching! Does this make sense?

[Poppykate]

What do you hope sweetie?

[Asker]

I don't even feel like going to my uni anymore. That place hurts me. Tbh my heart literally broke. I'm forced to continue there otherwise I wouldn't want to go back to a place which caused so much angst and pain.
If not there it will cause pain. If there and is no longer interested it will cause pain. Its painful situation on both sides

[Poppykate]

Do you think that is why she doesn't go there anymore?

[LalaIbby90]

The ignoring was big time bitchy and I agree that a self respecting woman won't talk to you, but it's amazing how when a girl likes a guy it clouds her judgement regardless of how awful he treated her - so she becomes bias and looks for the good stuff you've done.
@Poppykate yeah that was the second guess. It's either she approached him and spoke because (a) she wanted to chat further to ask him out after she's comfortable and know more stuff about him (b) she wanted to chat to show him "yes idiot I like you too, so please either tell me u like me or ask me out." And it could've been both, and she wanted to see which would work. But. It's failed for her, he ignored her so her hopes of continuing to chat went out the window and uni ended and him confessing/ asking her out didn't happen so... yuycks thinking about it that would've crushed her. She was left hanging - not a stranger nor a lover - that's pain.
I guess they're both heart broken?

[Poppykate]

I agree! Both heartbroken and no real reason for it, considering that they both like each other! It's really sad!

[Asker]

I feel scared of going to my uni. Ehat if she's not there

[Poppykate]

You shouldn't be scared about going to uni. If she is not there, then that's ok. But if you don't go and she is, you will miss her.

[LalaIbby90]

Well if u see her and she likes you, what then? Do u want her to chase you? Telling u she likes you? What if she doesn't but does like you?

[Asker]

Will do it myself.

Anyway I am starting college tomorrow and as usual I am hopeless but I got this weird dream where i saw us and her and i even put something on her finger as a sign of engagement i think.
I dont understand what is going on.

[Poppykate]

Oh.. that amazingly sweet!

[LalaIbby90]

So... anything new?

And wow... that dream is vivid! She must be marriage material in your eyes

[Poppykate]

I am curious also! I want to know if there is any good news yet too!

[Asker]

No. No sign of her. Think she is really not here. Had another dream. But I don't know why i keep getting them when it seems not here anymore

[Poppykate]

Oh... that's a shame. We will keep hoping and wishing for you!

[LalaIbby90]

That's not a lot of dreams. That's... what's an adjective for more than "a lot"? Wow! It's really strange. It's like you're connected to her? I don't think I've met anyone who has had dreams that many times about someone. It must make you feel like shit every morning you wake up and have had one of the dreams.

[Asker]

But whats the poinf of this connection? I dont get it

[LalaIbby90]

what is this connection? Who knows. But what i know is that its definitely a lot of dreams that youve had. Too many dreams and some are very vivid. I wonder if its your confusion around the whole situation that makes you dream about her more?
If i were to give a reason "logically" without any beliefs, i'd say you have unresolved feelings / desires. You wanted her (more than any previous girl especially that you wanted it instant), you wanted something to happen between you two and it didn't. That I think stirred a lot of emotions in you and thats why the dreams keep happening.
You mentioned youve never wanted someone so instant as her, she's different to the girls you dated previously, this one was not unrequited it was mutual so the possibility of you two happening was high, and she had the looks that pleased your eyes. All those factors wouldve played a role for the unresolved desire/ feeling of wanting her to be yours

[LalaIbby90]

what is this connection? Who knows. But what i know is that its definitely a lot of dreams that youve had. Too many dreams and some are very vivid. I wonder if its your confusion around the whole situation that makes you dream about her more? If i were to give a reason "logically" without any beliefs, i'd say you have unresolved feelings / desires. You wanted her (more than any previous girl especially that you wanted it instant), you wanted something to happen between you two and it didn't. That I think stirred a lot of emotions in you and thats why the dreams keep happening. You mentioned youve never wanted someone so instant as her, she's different to the girls you dated previously, this one was not unrequited it was mutual so the possibility of you two happening was high, and she had the looks that pleased your eyes. All those factors wouldve played a role for the unresolved desire/ feeling of wanting her to be yours. We all want what we can't have. Another factor.

[Poppykate]

@asker. Don't feel so bad about having the dreams. I often have dreams about my crush.

[Asker]

But why are there gaps like a week of no dreams?

Anyway its all useless
She is really gone

[Asker]

Thanks for all your help @lalabby90. It will take a while for me to get over my pain. Seeing the uni reminds me of what we shared and how we used to see each other. A happy place is now stabbing me in the face.
I can't believe i trusted dreams.

[LalaIbby90]

Because it would be crazy to have a dream about her everyday - not crazy in a bad way but like if it was everyday, it would be too intense. But your brain and mind also need a break. Imagine having a dream everyday, that would be overwhelming?
Dont feel bad for dreaming about it, because you like her and that's normal. But I get a sneaking suspicion you don't believe it's unresolved feelings...
You don't know why but you dont believe its as simple as unresolved feelings?

[Asker]

I know its unresolved feelings. But i dont think i got so many dreams because of that. Maybe my subconscious remembers so thats why.
Its not a connection since she's gone i think. If we were soulmates and my dreams had some meaning we would meet but it doesn't seem so anymore..

[LalaIbby90]

to be fair to this whole soulmate theory - if she was your soulmate hypothetically speaking then it doesn't mean you'll meet her instantly, it can be months maybe even years down the track. The whole soulmate theory mean eventually you'll end up together at time and place unknown. You could run into her in a different country, could be at an event, it could be at the shops etc. months or years down the track. The point of soulmates is that eventually you'll be drawn back.

Im telling you, your dream is very often and it would be strange if there is no meaning. Honestly, i said it earlier, we all have dreams of our crushes of different kinds but not this often.
Yeah it would be painful and it would take time. The pain may fade with time, but i doubt you'll ever get over completely by the sounds of it. I think if you were ever to see her again, you'll be numb in shock (the good kind) and won't be able to take ur eyes off her tbh and ull be left speechless again

[LalaIbby90]

you'll ever get over her completely ***

[Asker]

I always saw us and her at my uni so i definitely expected her here considering my vivid dreams do come ttue even if it takes a bit of time but i fail to understand how my dreams cheated me into believing she's here when its going all wtong. Unless she miraculously shows up

[LalaIbby90]

she may miraculously show up at uni or in the future.. who knows. Your dreams may not necessarily mean she's going to show up at uni. Thats the only setting u saw her at, so ur brain will see her in that setting. You saw her in a particular picture so did your mind. Your brain has associated her to uni and thats why u keep seeing her in that setting. doesn't mean ull see her there again necessarily. I do hope when u see her face to face u can find words though :/

[Asker]

I feel so broken. My uni hurts me and i find myself always searching around. I normally dont tear up but i feel like tearing up everytime.
I want to see that face so badly. Its like this severe chest pains i keep getting when i think i won't see again.
I dont know when i will see again. I just know i feel extremeky cheated and tricked by my dreams.

[Poppykate]

Ohh sweetheart. I know how you feel. I fell in love in my early teens with what I think is my soulmate. We were together, but due to miscommunication, drifted apart. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I can relate to the chest pains. Years past and I ran into him in the most unlikely place. The world is a much smaller place than you can imagine. It is highly likely that you will, somehow see her again.

[LalaIbby90]

Your feelings are very strong for her. I think earlier said at one point you wanted to break even though you're not the type to cry easily and now with the tearing. You're emotionally invested in her and the idea of not seeing her again or for he to have moved on / forgotten about it is hurting you a lot. The chest pains is your heart hurting. You want to be with her, you want to see her, you want things to work out but it's not happening and you're hurting as a result. Your dreams may not be tricking you it can be a future thing as I said.
But it still surprises me how 10 days of only seeing her made you feel so connected / in love with this girl. It's... amazing. Such a short time for someone to love a girl with such intentisty

[Asker]

I dont know myself. I just knew we had this strange pull. We were able to talk to each other without us saying anything. Our eyes communicated what we couldnt. It was a beautiful but very intense. She admitted my eye contact shook her.

We showed up in each others lives unexpectedly. Never seen before. Pretty sure she never saw me either.

[LalaIbby90]

Intense? As in it was too much for you to handle?

Yeah. Clearly it was very special to you, and you remember what you guys shared together like it was yesterday.

I guess you both needed more courage in expressing how you felt about the other with honesty.

[Asker]

Tbh yes. It was so intense that we were drawn to each other immediately. Whenever our eyes met, it was something else.

I would have forgotten and moved on if it wasn't dear to me but the whole thing was somehow very special. We were strangers yet we developed an unspoken bond real quick. Nobody ever made her felt that way which she said herself and it used to make us happy.
After a long time i felt genuinely happy and thats now so cruelly taken away from me

[LalaIbby90]

You now what I realised your language changed. It went from 'her' and 'I'. To 'we' and 'us' - I don't know what's changed. Maybe your way of thinking is seeing you guys as one now rather than two separate individuals. Or maybe I'm being weird and realise random shit.

But it seems like you guys got lost in each other's worlds when you eye locked or when you stared at one another, like nothing else mattered, I guess?

She genuinely made you happy! That's just wow. It sucks that it was stripped away from you and this whole separation happened. It's like why the hell would two people meet have this intense bond separate and at least one member doesn't stop dreaming.

[Asker]

Exactly. When we got lost in each others eyes it was as if nothing mattered. There would be a bunch of people around us yet when we started maintaining eye contact it was as if like it was just 2 of us and nobody else mattered. Never felt anyone give me these feels.

It is. Going through hell and it is so cruel. I was fine with everything until she came. Out of the blue and unexpected and everything just went with her.
I had stopped looking for love even though i kept asking myself where is my partner and there comes along and leaves as quickly.
I didn't want to go back to my uni and going there is a pain.

[Asker]

That month even my zodiac forecast was right. It showed love is in the air and it was.
I really can never forget the summer of 2017. I met someone i truly had something with.

Coincidently this month's horoscope says love will be reciptocated but i think its a joke because the person needs to be there to do something

[LalaIbby90]

Wow. Okay. You guys really were 'hypnotised' by each other. Seems like you found each other REALLY appealing and if you guys got lost in each other despite so many people around you, that my friend is not a crush, thats intense shit.

Losing something so intense with someone sucks as hell and i can only imagine how painful it would be. I think a lot of the pain may also be coming from the intensity of what you shared, the mutualness of it all and the chance that if you guys had more time together something truly may have happened.

If only you knew her zodiac sign, you totally couldve read about your compatibility.

Thinking about it, if your liking for was so damn obvious in her eyes, and she seemed confident to approach to start conversation and there were no doubts on her end that u liked her, why couldnt she have asked you guys to hang out at least if confessing her feelings may have been too early for her? She couldve asked if you were free on weekend to do something :/

[Asker]

I just left after introducing myself. I was pissed when she said no. Its partly my fault. I have anger issues. She wanted to talk i was sure but i started ignoring her.

That is why it hurts. There were times i was busy talking to people and if i saw her coming, i had to maintain concentration and had to keep looking straight but even then i would turn and glance once.
It was too intense.
And the eye contact was just us. It was something that touched my soul.

[LalaIbby90]

I guess in the moment the feeling was all so new to you and her staring and it all happening so fast was a lot of process in such a short time. The not knowing how to react to her was added onto he pressure I guess.

But if you ignored her and during conversation you kept staring straight and only did a glance yeah, noway she would've felt confident to approach or even ask to hang out. Fuck no. With all honesty, I don't think she ever came close to knowing how deep your feelings were. I think she knew you liked her (or how she looked) to a degree but she may have interpreted your actions as indecisiveness / confused.

[LalaIbby90]

New to you **

The pressure **

[Asker]

No i meant when i would converse with other people. Not her.

[Asker]

It definitely happened very fast. Just a week i found her and then i was wanting to talk desperately.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah yeah I got ya.

What I was trying to say is that you had all the right intentions, you grew a bond and a level of affection so big. You really wanted to talk to her. You really wanted to be with her. But the ignoring and and losing the ability to speak may have come off as you don't really what you want or whether you really wanted her. Get it? Like she may have left the country unsure of if you liked her.

Also... come to think of it. Let's assume she went back to her country and isn't coming back. What the fuck... like if she wasn't coming back then it would've all been pointless... meaning she must've known she's coming back.. right?

[Asker]

I dont get that either. I mean if she wasn't coming then why reciprocate at all or show interest at all?

[Poppykate]

@asker may I suggest a guided meditation? Here is one you can watch for free on YouTube.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VmOSnUSOBAQ
It is a guided meditation to see the face of your soulmate. It is very calming. And hopefully will make you feel more hopeful and at peace.

[Asker]

@Poppykate twin flame? You think we are soul or twin mates?

[LalaIbby90]

That's what I was thinking why would she go through the trouble of showing interest and that she really likes you if there was no chance of being together, you know? Like apart of her had to know there's a chance of her coming for her to do all that. Or then if she was going back and not coming then that would've been pointless...
she must've known there was a chance or noway she would've put all that effort in.

[Asker]

Yeah thats what i thought too. Yesterday i did feel like i saw someone like her but i was not sure.
She was also not pictured at the graduation when most of her friends were putting up stalls to wish the graduates farewell and if she graduated she would have taken pics with them but the friends posted no pics with her.

[Poppykate]

To @asker I am not sure. 🤔 Only you can tell. But I thought the meditation could give you some peace of mind.

[LalaIbby90]

You felt like you saw someone like her because you really wanted to see her... :/

[Asker]

Could be. I dont see her anywhere
What do i make of this. I got tricked by my dreams what else

[LalaIbby90]

Are you still having the dreams?

[Asker]

Nope haven't seen for 3 days

[Asker]

Tho heard her name today

[LalaIbby90]

Awwwwww. That must've sprung feelings when you heard her name! Damn.

[Asker]

Definitely
I felt happy. I dunno what is going to happen. Why the dreams occured

[LalaIbby90]

That's good that It was positive and not negative feelings when you heard her name! I thought it would've been painful but glad you were happy!!

You may be seeing her soon or in the future! As they say dreams can be foretelling. Don't think they're tricks with the amount you've had.

I can't imagine how you would react if you bump into her tho at campus...

[Asker]

It was surprising. I have been seeing her name appear sometimes whether its social media pages or others. Today it was during a lecture in class. Dont know if its a coincidence or means something.

I always search for her but can never find her. I do see the people she used to talk to.

Shocked but very happy to see her face at least.

[LalaIbby90]

You saw her face?

[Asker]

No i mean in answer to your question about my reaction when i see her

[Poppykate]

@Asker why not just ask the people who she used to talk to if they have seen her or if she is coming back or if she has graduated? It will just come off as concern and considerate. Everyone is usually super friendly on university campuses.

[Asker]

@Poppykate no they will tell her. She won't like it and people will figure it out.

[LalaIbby90]

May I ask what worries you most about her friends or anyone knowing or figuring it out? What is your worry?

[Poppykate]

I agree with @Lalalbby90! Why are you worry she will find out? It sounds like this is your only way to communicate or get in contact with her! You should use it! This whole 'flying under the radar' is kinda creepy and might scare her. She might think that your intentions aren't good. But if your actions are out in the open, ( e. g. You approach her friends and tell them you think her friend is cool and you want to take her out for a drink, but don't have her contact details), they will be more likely to help you!

[Asker]

Everyone here isn't the type to like questions on strangers. They dont know what went between us. They will circulate it and I had already asked one of them and he was the one who said she left

[Asker]

Also saw some vague dream involving names and info of her country. can't remember clearly but that is the slight info i remember.
I still dont understand. So far its been a week at the uni and no sign. And thess dreams. Now i think they are just creations because i think of her.
Cheated so badly

[Asker]

Maybe i should get out of these ddlusional things and quit my uni altogether. That place is hurting. I always end up looking around and returning home disappointed.

[Poppykate]

But you are there for more than just her. You are there to build a bright future for yourself. I know that if she loved you, she would want the very best for you, and wouldn't want you to quit school.

[Asker]

@Poppykate It is painful to go there. I used to love going there but now i just want to avoid it. It really hurts.

[Doncastar]

I don't.. oh well I'm sorry but are you really a guy? You talk like a girl.. Why do I feel like you are the girl who was left stranded by the guy and is asking about the situation by his perspective? No offense.

[Doncastar]

If that's the case PM me. I can help. But you gotta be honest about your "real identity" .

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I find it pretty sad that we're continuously stereotyping males and females. This is an example as why men don't cry or show emotions because as a society we immediately judge - "oh he's a guy he'll be okay" "he's a man he shouldn't cry" "oh he's a guy he's tough." Guys are human too. They're allowed to feel. Be pained. Cry. Express. Comments like that sadly reinforce stereotypes about how men should act. I don't think it's nice to insinuate he's a "girl" hiding behind an identity. Sorry. I don't agree.

@Asker I genuinely am glad you are openly honest about how you feel, it gives reassurance to many girls like me that guys actually have these thoughts / doubts / insecurities just like any girl, any human being who has fallen in love.

[Asker]

This love hurts like hell. For the past 4 months I have been in constant lain which has doubled since uni started.

[Asker]

@Doncastar ok whatever you think

[LalaIbby90]

I do hope you see her and what I wish for you is that she comes to you and let's you know how she feels for the sake of you both.
We also never know if she's going through the same shit, who knows right?

[Asker]

I dont know if she is. What if he never thought of me?

[Asker]

Keep seeing the name, the country shs belonged to. Dont understand if its a coincidence or something going to happen?
This has always happened to me like i started a course in diplomacy and kept seeing diplomacy on some ocassions.

[LalaIbby90]

"She never thought of me" - Biggest bullshit impossible line. NOPE.
Sorry man but if some girl does ALL that, no fucking way you weren't crossing her mind

[Asker]

Yeah she did it when she saw me. Now its 4 months without contact. Do guys who do this remember? No. Do girls? No

[LalaIbby90]

You remember. Even if you didn't have dreams this often you'd remember her time to time. Maybe once a week, maybe couple of times, may once every blue moon. But you would. Whether it's when you see someone from her country, or some girl who is beautiful and similar features (e. g big eyes or black hair or whatever). You would.
She would too. Whether she thinks of you every day, every week, or every couple of weeks. She would. Anything that would remind her of something related to you. Guys from your appearance (caucasian), her studies, remebering her friends from uni hence you as well because you're now linked to uni etc. She 100% still remembers you and thinks about you. How often? That we don't know. Naturally it'll decrease over time and she would let go. But she wouldn't forget all the special stuff you shared. She'd have it in her brain and heart. Remember, we're the emotional ones. Unless she was having dreams too, then her frequency in thinking about u would still be high

[Asker]

And what about guys? Who did what i did?

[LalaIbby90]

Honestly I don't know about guys who only had a "deep intense crush" with a girl. But the guys I know who had a relationship with girls short term or long term, could not get over the girl for months (6-12months) and some of them despite getting into new relationships, say "I'd go back to her anyday if she gave me a second chance." But all the guys I know had at least 2-3 months relationship with the girl or were at least friends for a long time. But guys not getting over a girl, yes I've seen and its lasted for a LONG TIME. But never saw a guy who wasn't friends nor with a girl stay hung up on someone. It's not that you're not normal, it's just i haven't been around guys who have experienced exactly your thing. SIMILAR but not the same.

[Asker]

Then she won't even pursue me thinking this way and pretty sure would have moved on.

[LalaIbby90]

no she wouldn't think you wouldve been thinking about her because she would've thought "he's totally over it" which is the crushing side to her end. What i am saying is that she wouldve started to move on. But it doesn't mean her feelings will drop to a zero nor does it mean she doesn't think about you time to time. does that make sense?
Like yes she most likely thinks you don't think about her at all. most likely thinks you dont even remeber her. most likely thinks you dont want to be with her now. most likely is / has moved on but will continue to have feelings deep down and your memory lvies on

[Doncastar]

@Lalabby90 Do ypu actually think this guy liked her? He just stood staring at her. And when this girl he talks about made a move, he retracted and ignored her and has literally dumped her and left.
Why do you think any girl would want to even think about such a guy?

[Doncastar]

Judging by his words he made no effort to know her. But expected her to do everything. I am sorry but it seemed like he treated her as an eye candy

[Doncastar]

The girl seems more genuine. You just seem like you want nn that a pretty girl gave you the time of the day. What did you want dude?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar You kinda have a point. I must not lie. :/

[Doncastar]

I had no time. And i had communication problems. I tried my best to get her attention

[Doncastar]

What kind of shit is that

[Doncastar]

Anyways after being harsh look I'm not saying you didn't like her. You did. BUT the way you dealt with the whole scene was tasteless.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar "@LalaIbby90 Do you actually think this guy liked her? He just stood staring at her. And when this girl he talks about made a move, he retracted and ignored her and has literally dumped her and left. Why do you think any girl would want to even think about such a guy? Judging by his words he made no effort to know her. But expected her to do everything. I am sorry but it seemed like he treated her as an eye candy The girl seems more genuine. You just seem like you want nn that a pretty girl gave you the time of the day. What did you want dude?"

If you were to take out empathy from the equation, that is exactly how it looks. I did see it but I'm like well he's obviously feeling pain and regretting it. But it did come off the way you're saying

[Asker]

Well she's gone so thank u for your feedback.

[Asker]

I didn't just stood staring. I did do a lot to get her to start talking

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 look I still dont believe this is a guy who ignored and left her showing so much lovey dovey feelings for her. From what I perceive this is the girl who got left by him.

But anyways from what I can observe this guy is pretty bad with girls and had no clue what to do other than throw signs

and if he has such high expectations and aggression, he probably has an ego as well. And it is plausible that he cannot read signs properly or is immature.
All these traits will make him unlikable to any prospective girl and even if he gets together with someone he won't be able to sustain relationships because of his whimsical attitude.

Anyhow if this is truly that guy and he meets the girl and she still loves him then PLEASE do not do anything to hurt her. If she's still loving you after your whimsical behaviour then nobody will love you as much as she does.
I can't even imagine how she must be feeling. If she's that pretty tjen her self esteem must be in shards thinkin she's only g

[Doncastar]

(cont) good to look at and not for dating. That is enough to break her heart and esteem and send her off in depression.

As for soulmates thing, well a lot of soulmate relationships do occur like this. Split or separation. Chaser and runner. So maybe. But considering your dreams have yet to come true (that is he or she being there and still loving you) its hard to say

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Apart from him being a girl. I will have to agree with everything you said. I tried commenting and saying what you said in a "nice" "gentle" way but i guess you spelt it out for him. I'm with you on these opinions

[Doncastar]

I just find it hard to believe because the guy has no facebook, no social media I suppose. Refuses to tell anyone and doesn't want to show that he's into a girl and he will come on an online forum and talk about this?

I doubt it. If he's repenting and is in pain, the type he is, he will probably do it within himself. Online seems suspicious to me.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar What do you mean?

[Doncastar]

? What are you asking?

[Doncastar]

This guy is a SJW or what?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar "I doubt it. If he's repenting and is in pain, the type he is, he will probably do it within himself. Online seems suspicious to me." - what do you mean by this last sentence?

To be honest i feel really sorry for the girl too. I do believe she felt like eye candy or at least thought about it and thought she wasn't worth dating. I also believe her self esteem was tarnished and feels played. I also believe she was broken because of the whole ordeal. Like she wouldve been pained by all of it

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 I meant that the whole perdona the guy excludes is of a very intense and someone who is quite aloof. He has no social sites like Fb, IG. He doesn't tell his friends as he wants the girl in provate but not in public.
All this shows that he is a private type of person in these matters so why would he come online and talk about this?

He wouldn't. If he's hurting and remembers her then he will probably beat himself up inside thinking he's useless and he lost a girl who reciprocated him.
I doubt he will talk on public forum.

In both cases i think both are hurting. Both heartbroken and both have self worth crushed. An intense encounter snapped thanks to his stupidity.

[Doncastar]

Which I am pretty sure he knows that he is partly responsible for it. And if he's in love which I think he sounded like because that much eye contact and unable to keep eyes off on a fixed person for as long as he was around her isn't some fleeting crush.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I completely agree with your last statement

[Doncastar]

Then he's got his self worth crushed too. Most likely thinks even worse of himself. As a male he may think he's inadequate or things like that. Both guy and girl are hurt and now its up to destiny to see if the heart rejoins or is left broken.

In my opinion this was an encounter for a reason. So who knows

[Doncastar]

The previous reply he thought she was young due to her youthful face. Maybe that is another reason he decided to ignore because he thought she's young and so he decided to play this game of chase.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I agree with:
No experience/ immature/ never had to deal with a pretty girl who was interested.
Liked the fact a pretty girl gave him attention.
High expectation on his end from her.
There's ego.
The girl seemed genuine about it all (he did too, but she made effort to talk)
etc.

all the above i have mentioned to someone who agreed with me. But i guess i was trying to be gentle so that he builds the courage to do something about it all considering no one knows IRL.

It was a for a reason.

But considering we're being brutally honest without sugar coating it - He needs to talk to her and spill how he feels if he sees her. He should NOT look at her at all, if he has not intention or is afraid to approach her because we never know if she's expecting him to make the move or has so much self doubt that she will never have the courage to ever approach him again.

So either talk to her or leave her alone if you see her. Don't stare at her or show signs if there's no courage.

[LalaIbby90]

And yes i agree he wanted her to chase him. Any girl with standards won't not :/

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 I agree he seemed genuine. I would thought hook up but why would a guy have so many problems in securing a one night stand deal? doesn't make sense. The girl gives hints she's interested and the guy asks her to meet up for the night. So thats ruled out.

This guy wanted her but had no idea how to go about it. I also find it strange that why he chose to pursue her since they all knew hols were approaching.

I think he was in a hurry to make her his girl but then why he left if he was in a hurry? Maybe he felt she didn't ask him out so he went home.

Anyways I doubt this story has ended as much as those two think its all gone.

[Doncastar]

And this intense eye contact. I ve had my pretty friends tell me they get stares too but the ones he explains like not removing his eye contact and lost or shocked by the eye contact doesn't happen normally. This is probably something different

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Yeah 100% what they had was super intense and meant something. But sadly he had no idea how to go about it. I find it strange since his age lies with 25-29. But then again, I really do think her looks are what made him nervous sadly. Such a stereotype that pretty girls are brutal or too scary to approach when a lot of them are genuinely nice... :/

[Poppykate]

@Doncastar maybe the girl wanted more than a one night stand. Even though she made it clear that she wanted him in that way. ( e. g. She wasn't going to serve it up to him on a silver platter!)

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate i don't think the girl wanted a one night stand - she wanted to date him

[Poppykate]

@Asker If you don't mind us asking... what was it about her looks that you found so intimidating? Clearly, it was was you really nervous. Did you feel like you were playing outside your league?

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 If this is a soulmate thing then I guess this meeting was their first and too intense like most soulmate relationships are. The guy stated he is younger than her so I guess it was way too intense for them hence the initial separation. That is why they met at such an odd timing when the hols had begun and he was coming just for the work.

Maybe the second time it will be a much more mature and better way of meeting.

[Doncastar]

@Poppykate It doesn't seem like she or he wanted purely sex. Both had plenty of hesitations. doesn't happen when you are just looking for a bang.

[Doncastar]

I think it was a culture thing too. He thought she is a poc so maybe not very open to white guys like him. And she must be that he's white so what if he's racist or such

[Doncastar]

The fact he asked her has he seen her before could be a mix of his soul recognizing her and that useless pick up line. He stated he had lost in her face look so it was definitely him feeling something special.

[Doncastar]

Whereas she was either slow in recognzing or may not be spiritual hence the loss of connectivity

[Doncastar]

Whats your by the way dude?

[Asker]

@Poppykate No it was just that i found her too pretty so thought she may have a boyfriend. when she gave signs then i started seeking her attention.

[Asker]

@Doncastar huh? Well its elijah noah but why?

[Doncastar]

@Asker LOL. I thought so. Does she have a biblical name too?

[Doncastar]

I mean in her religion if you know of it

[Asker]

@Doncastar no her name is English sounding but it means queen. Not a religious name

[Asker]

@Doncastar what do you mean?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncaster You speak my mind. You go girl. Initially i was like... wtf this bitch stating this guy is a girl but every other point you raised is SPOT ON. KUDOS

[Doncastar]

@Asker @Lalalbby90 didn't he say he was asking where is partner is and suddenly she popped up out of the blue? Plus he's got this biblical name. I am being superstitious but its kimd of ironical that the bible says ask and it will be given to , find and you will seek it and now this whole soulmate thing which is again a symbol of spirituality and divinity. Hmmmmmm.

[Doncastar]

@Asker did you ever see her before you met her?

[Asker]

@Doncastar no never.

[Asker]

@Doncastar so you think we are soulmates?

[LalaIbby90]

you two are something special and possibly soulmates, BUT attitude towards the whole situation and if you see her needs to change

[Doncastar]

Yes i do feel that way. This whole thing does not seem like some simple thing. Its def special. Now you got to wait and see. But if you the shitty attitude up then dont expect togetherness.

[Doncastar]

You didn't answer my question. Are you a SJW?

[Asker]

@Doncastar if you mean activism and stuff then yes

[Asker]

@Doncastar @Lalalbby90 but how are you guys so sure? Of soulmates?

[Asker]

All I know is before seeing her I had dropped the wish to find true love but was feeling happier than usual and did ponder over where is my partner

[Poppykate]

@Asker I agree that you do have something special, and could possibly be soulmates, but like @Doncaster said, you need to treat her with better respect. No more ignoring.

[Doncastar]

Seemed like it. Not stereotyping but the anger and frustration and fault finding is so deeply embedded in a SJW that its difficult to please them.
You really need to learn to separate sjw and your own identity. Its ok to be angry at the Tories but getting angry because a girl says no she never met you before? Man whats that unreasonable shit?

[Doncastar]

If you act like this in a relationship the poor girl will always walk on eggshells thinking when she might make you angry hence refraining yo say or do a lot of things. Dude you need a REAL QUICK PERSONALITY CHANGE for this girl.

[Doncastar]

Thats why I asked. Because the things you describe are soulmate traits. But you need to change. Or at least learn to differentiate and control emotions.
@Lalalbby90 @Poppykate @Asker he seems like a raw guy. The blatant staring. The inability to talk. The chase games. The pissed off attitude.

[Poppykate]

I don't think she necessarily told him 'No' initially, but just 'not just yet- I want to get to know you'. And I think he found this frustrating. Is this right @Asker?

[Asker]

@Poppykate she said no and i didn't like it. It sucks.

[LalaIbby90]

I am for the personality change for this girl... she's going to suffer if he sticks to his ways

[Poppykate]

But I agree with @Doncaster if he has any hope of a future relationship with this girl. He will need to control that temper. He mentioned that she was shy. So her shyness with his temper...

[Doncastar]

That is a really bad combo. I mean if she loves him and he said she's a sub and shy then she will forever keep trying to please him and I def see a lot of sorrys coming from her if he's that tempremental.

With more outspoken girls he will go through break ups and with this one, she will keep pushing herself down to lift him up.

Please do control.

[Poppykate]

I am sorry @Asker. Rejection always suck. Hugs to you! 🤗

[Poppykate]

@Asker Do you think that you need change some aspect of your personality?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar AMEN! She sounds a lot like my cousin who i spoke about earlier. A nice girl where sorry comes flying out of her mouth because she's always thinkng she may have done something to piss the guy off or it was somehow her fault. It really is a quality of nice and sub girls. I've definitely seen it, and I've seen it in my cousin. Despite being attractive it doesn't stop her from being tooooo nice sometimes and getting hurt in the process. The guy ignored her too and she hurt for a while, thankfully she's really moved on seems like it, but doesn't take away all the misery and self doubt and her feeling like eye candy. She told me a while back that she hated that she felt like she was played with and she;ll live on never knowing if he actually ever liked her. So yeah sympathy for this girl he liked

[Doncastar]

@Poppykate she didn't reject him. He said have we met before. She said no. This isn't rejection lol

[Doncastar]

All I can say is stop getting annoyed at stupid stuff. Just because you want to hear something and someone does not say it doesn't mean you treat them like this.

Its not like you asked her out and she refused. She was more than willing.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar *claps* *bows down*

[LalaIbby90]

honestly what i gathered from all of this is that he wanted her to confess her feelings for anything to ever actually happen. Like signs was not enough, he wanted her to come to him and spill it out and ask him out

[Doncastar]

Yeah same. Thats highly impractical tho. Just met and soill it? It takes at least 1 proper meeting not some rushed talk. Instead of ignoring had he opened up this wouldn't have happened.

Still if you guys are soulmates you will eventually get back I suppose?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Agreeeed. The ignoring made everything fo to shit

[Doncastar]

His mind works backwards. He should really not use his brain when it comes to dating as he will only destroy chances.

[Doncastar]

Better stick to using his brain in studies and sjw.

[Poppykate]

@Doncastar I really love ❤️ your 'telling it like it is' approach.

[Asker]

@Doncastar I am not even that bad :/ sure I made mistakes & it cost me dearly but im no villain

[LalaIbby90]

I love how 3 girls are now involved in this 😂 @Asker - you are no villain. I just found it hard to distinguish whether you're clueless when it comes to "girls/pretty girls" or you felt entitled/ have an ego or both. I feel like it's both. I don't think you realise it about yourself which is cool, coz no1 is perfect but yeah...

[Poppykate]

@Asker No one is saying you are a villain, but perhaps some of your behaviour might have scared her off. E. g. your temper and perhaps ignoring her. I think we are just trying to help you. So that if you do happen to see her again, you won't mess things up so badly.

[Asker]

I just want us to be together thats it.

[Doncastar]

Well lets hope for the best what elseeee can i say

[LalaIbby90]

Yup! Hoping you get with this girl @Asker.

Just if you see her man and no courage, as I said FAR BETTER to not look her way than give off "i like you signs" AGAIN and no action.
The cycle of pain will repeat.

So either be 100% sure you will approach if you see her and if you doubt it, then simply let her be and maybe you can be with some other girl who doesn't cause so much anxiety within u

:(

[Asker]

But im not seeing her anywhere on campus. My negative feelings strike again.. i saw every single friend of hers except her. Makes me feel she's really gone.

In my dreams i would sometime see her not being there and i mistaking others to look like her which is currently happening.

[LalaIbby90]

I understand. But because of the dreams I think you'll see her sometime I the future - maybe couple weeks maybe months maybe years. Who knows. But have a feeling you will. And that's why, please don't hurt her again by your actions. Initially you weren't aware what the damage would've been for her. But her self esteem would've crippled and she doesn't think she's dating material in your eyes, so any girl would've been feeling like shit. Being eye candy to a guy you like is not flattering it's down right hurtful. So yeah. Consider it when you bump into her

[LalaIbby90]

So basically what I'm trying to say is consider her emotions and her point of view. Sometimes you need to step out of your bubble and what you think you did or deserve and actually put yourself in her shoes. I'm going to be honest, I think you were too focused on how you felt, that her position and feelings got disregarded. Point blank - sometimes a girl is better off knowing a guy is no longer interested in her and not showing signs (looking for example) that he likes than having someone showing you signs and all, getting you mind and heart thinking and going through and emotional turmoil. She's been hurt man. Her self esteem god knows what happened to that. So subjecting her to that again if you do bump into her is downright cruel. Unless you know 100% "I can speak to her and tell her how I feel or ask her out". Don't, just don't show her any signs that you like her even if you do if you're too scared to approach when u see her. Leave her be.

[Asker]

You are right. I will make sure of it. I don't know whats going on but for some reason i keep seeing her name everywhere. I even got mails from someone who has her name and the area of residence was same as hers. Then again a person who told she left posted about a girl who shares her name. I heard her name in lectures. I don't know if this is signalling something. I told me flatmate and he also said that from the meeting to these dreams and signs, its some crazy coincidence or something else

[Asker]

And out of the blue I see her country name. Its strange. When i see the college I dont see her but these signs and dreams say something else. And for some weird reason I believe she's coming but i think im delusional and my gut feeling is wrong.

[LalaIbby90]

So your flat mate doesn't think you're weird?
And yes the signs and dreams show that something is more with this case and not just a coincidence. Like you're meant to be (not even trying to be cheesy).

But glad you'll be upfront with her if you see her !

[Asker]

Yeah he does. He called me out and even proposed going on casual dates to get going but i didn't want to.

But i told him the whole thing. And he said its such a crazy coincidence.
Even today I checked an email i got yesterday and even in that her name was mentioned. Apparently someone who shares her name will be giving a lecture in Nov. Its weird. I dont know whats going on.

[LalaIbby90]

Is her name that common? Because if it is then it won't be too much of a coincidence. But let's just say it's an uncommon name, then yes... it's a sign.

So common or uncommon?

[Asker]

Not really common. At least to me. And i had never heard or seen her name before. Its actually recently i have started seeing it.

[LalaIbby90]

Oh then that's a sign!! If her name is not common and suddenly you're seeing it in an email and hearing it more often... then it has to mean something combined with the dreams. I truly think she's your other half. In a completely shitty circumstance or situation that you guys are in, she's someone who you'll most likely share something special with in the future. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime in the long run.

I'm really glad your flat mate wasn't judgmental or an asshole about it all. Like your cousin was kinda mean with the laughing. So I'm glad your flat mate was more open and practical. How'd he call you on it? Like what made him find out or suspect something was wrong?

[LalaIbby90]

Also adding to my comment what did he mean by casual dating?

[Asker]

I ll give you an example. Lets assume her name is noah and i haven't heard it much except for noah'S ark story. But after 3 months of separation I suddenly start seeing the name on social sites and even getting to hear it in lectures and emails.
Its a similar case. I had heard this name once but that time we didn't meet and we didn't know each other so it meant nothing to me.
Then never heard it but after meeting and separatiin I get to see or hear it.

came back feeling upset and he noticed that I looked down and wasn't my usual self so he asked and I really wanted to talk to someone so i told him everything. He did say I was being really dumb and he said maybe i could try just casually talking to girls in the dating scene but I declined. I dont have time for these so I didn't agree to that.

[Asker]

Also today I almost felt it was her in the refractory but I couldnt see the girls face and she suddenly vanished but the hair, the height was very similar. Tho there is a girl looks awfully like her (not in face but by hair and if you see by far it is easy to mistake her) and once i mistook her so I don't know

[Asker]

I forgot to add she had mentioned me as an intense guy and thought i belonged to the scorpio zodiac because of that eye contact she experienced plus her finding me intense and actually I'm a scorpio and she is apparently a cancerian hence the delicate appearance I guess smand right now I looked up scorpio-cancer and it kinda stated love or attraction at first sight, instant magnetic pull and true soulmates 😲

[LalaIbby90]

So what made you not consider casual dating?

And I guess your flat mate wasn't as bad as your cousin. At least he / she tried to be practical.

I guess you're going crazy trying to see this girl but it not happening. Why don't you let things flow? Just continue life and see if she'll pop up. It may be years later when you have forgotten that she even exists that you bump into her and you guys share this intense chemistry again as though you guys never left. I won't be surprised.

I'm Scorpio too! HAHA! But wow you know her zodiac sign. Seems like you know more about her than you let off lololololl! But see dreams + zodiac signs + all other signs, can't be coincidence

[Asker]

I actually saw her again in my dream today. It was basically how she was near me but I didn't see her.

No but that hair waa oddly similar to hers.

[Asker]

Dont have time for casual dates. I am looking for someone I lost. There is no point in going out with other girls

[LalaIbby90]

Sorry what was the dream about?

And yeahhhhh... fair enough I guess you like her enough to only want to be with her and no one else. That's normal. Shows how strong the feelings are

[Asker]

In that many years she ll be married with kids. Same with me. I dont believe soulmates wreck marriages or relationships as many people claim.
Plus these signs are happening now so whats the connection between years later?

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe karma getting at you for what you did to her? (Kidding!)

There's just too many things for it to be nothing. You got to either wait it out and see or actively ask about her and find her.

[Asker]

You know before we met 2 of my friends were linked to her countrg. One was going there to study and he's my closest friend and is in her country while the other went there for his friends wedding.

[Asker]

Maybe I should waut and just stop looking. Probably then something may happen

[LalaIbby90]

Or maybe after u started liking her you began to realise a lot of details like her country or her name etc. maybe before it was never important to you so you never noticed it. That could be a reason. Not a valid reason for the dreams but for the name and country at least. As I said I doubt she would've given you signs she's interested and wants to date you if she wasn't coming back or she thought there would be 0% chance of being together

[Asker]

Yeah i didn't pay attention until i found out her country. The name I never heard or saw until a few weeks recently.

I am so lost. Thats what I think. Her reciprocating was not valid until she was returning. But its 2 weeks and no sign. Even before she mysteriously showed up. Never seen her before. Sometimes I wonder if a part time student or remains hidden somewhere in campus.

[LalaIbby90]

She's probably part time student. Or she's having a semester break. I'd probably has become an online student. Or is full time or part time but on the other side of campus because unis can be big. Coz I doubt she would've put in that effort and reciprocation knowing there'd be no chance y'know

So I'm guessing she's in Sweden ATM but she's either studying different days as you or other side of campus... there are thousands of students

[Asker]

Our building is pretty small like just 1 main building and two buildings which are owned by other unis but our unis use that. So I don't know. I'm so pissed. I think every day I will stop searching but I always end up looking

[Asker]

There are 2 students who I saw with her and I can't see them either

[LalaIbby90]

Oh why you pissed? With yourself? Is it because you can't get your mind off her?

[Asker]

No because i dont see her. Thats why. I'm desperate to see her but look whats going on :/

[Asker]

I keep seeing her in dreams or as signs around me but in physicality, no :///

[LalaIbby90]

That does suck heaps!!

I thought if something what if you see her and she's pissed at you or gives you the cold shoulder because you ignored her, what then?

[Asker]

I can give her signs that I still like her. Maybe she ll understand hopefully

[LalaIbby90]

What kinda signs?

[Asker]

I think staring and smiling will melt her heart

[LalaIbby90]

Great that you have confident it'll melt her heart

[LalaIbby90]

Confidence *

[Asker]

My flatmate said the day I stop looking for her is the day I will find her. I dunno how accurate this is :/ i always end up searching.

Today I met the person who told me he left and we talked and he mentioned that "you all came back" . I didn't ask him further because I dont want to sound stalkerish but I did notice he mentioned you ALL came back.

[LalaIbby90]

Sometimes it works like your flatmade said when we stop paying too much attention things generally work out but the more we think and emphasise the more burden.

We don't even know what her state is like. We know three things for sure: She liked you, She wanted to date you, She was hurt by all of it.

What we don't know is what she's feeling now, what she thinks about you now or if she will ever consider you as an option. Some girls forgive and will overloook, some girls will hate the guy and there's no coming back.

She seemed like a sweeet girl so she may be the former. But we don't know what kind of girl she really is, her past experiences with men/ guys, and her ways of protecting herself and her heart.

[Asker]

Yeah i know. I hope if sges here she still feels for me. I had a dream again. I didn't see her but I saw an object related to her and how that was different from before.

I dont know what it meant.

[Poppykate]

Damn I am so curious about your dreams! You can visit this website to help you understand your dreams. www.dreammoods.com Sometimes they can tell you things, other times they are just nonsense. So what was the object you saw in your dream? Maybe it means something...

[Asker]

@Poppykate it was a bicycle. She used to come to uni on a bicycle and it had a white seat. I look for her bicycle each day but cannot find so in my dream i saw her bicycle had changed and was different. it was new and all black.

[LalaIbby90]

Haha. I hate interpreting shit with what I believe but black in a dream is great in middle eastern dreams. It's actually a good sign. But doesn't apply to you lolololol

[Poppykate]

A bike in a dream indicates that you need to gain a better balance in life. E. g. Need more time for rexlation or recreation. This is particularly true as you dreamt of a black bike. Black is often the colour of depression and sadness. I think this dream is telling you that you need to balance the sadness in your life right now (e. g. Feeling sad about this girl), with some happiness, relaxation and recreation.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate great interpretation. 👍🏻👍🏻

[Poppykate]

Cheers! 🍻

[Asker]

I am always smiling around people so they all think I'm happy. But I'm not. I try to be happy but ultimately it fades. Its really lonely and I dislike my uni more than ever.

[Asker]

Yeah but I guess my face is showing because a good friend of mine asked me if I am okay and I should smile.

[Asker]

Dont understand why this happening. I was unhappy with my module and went and got one change for request yesterday and i even dreamed about it and i was approved of my module change today.
So when such stupid dreams can come true then why is the constant dreaming regarding her going futile

[LalaIbby90]

Oh wow... so your flat mate and friend realised you were different. You must have lost your happy spirit

[Asker]

Yeah. It hurts and yet today i saw her in the dream. How frustrating it is

[LalaIbby90]

Again? Seriously? WOW.
She's occupying that brain of yours.
Your thoughts of her is depleting your energy

[Asker]

Yeah again. Saw her around the campus and leaving for home. Dont understand. Its extremely frustrating

[LalaIbby90]

You love her. :/

[Asker]

Whats the point. I can keep looking and searching but will probably never find her. I guess all these dreams and predictions of reconcillation are crap and bogus.

[LalaIbby90]

The point is, you do. There's nothing more you could do. They're feelings, and they're there consuming you. Normal tbh. You either choose to love her and continue living life. Or you choose to "hate" her to move on. The decision is yours

[LalaIbby90]

It's hard but you need to decide :(

[Asker]

I think I ll quit my university. It is that place which pains me even more. I can't live like this. I dont know. I just met for 2 weeks and my heart and soul aches so much. I have been in love before and even unrequited but never had it affected my appearance or my mind like this. I see myself and there is this constant sadness on my face which even people are now noticing.
This story ended without a closure. And this will always pain me. Plus these dreams and name hurts me. I just have no life. I am pretty sure he must have moved on but I couldnt and probably won't. Its been 2 weeks uni started and its a pain already. How will i even manage till June and June reminds me of everything.

I beg each day to see the face I want to but no avail. How do I live like this

[Asker]

Plus I keep seeing people with either hair like hers or the people associated with her and its even worse to see this.

[LalaIbby90]

Quitting uni is not wise. We've all been through pain - heart and soul but we march through it like soldiers. It's painful, hurtful, energy consuming and nothing you enjoyed before you can enjoy while in pain. Yes its heart break and its something sadly all of us experience at least once.

I know what you mean, when you see people of that same race it reminds you of that person and it's a pang to the heart. Trust me, I know. All the feelings come rushing back.

It's why i tell u if you see her, do not just stand there and smile and stare at her. YOU NEED TO APPROACH, TALK AND ASK OUT. It's kind of a lesson that teaches you if you faced your fears back then you may have avoided all this pain now :/

[Asker]

How will I see her. I dont understand the type of student she was. I dont see her at all. There absolutely no chance of seeing anymore. How can any student never show up at school unless they are a part timer. Not in friend lists, no student record, no pic at graduation, not visible. How is it possible. People who did 2-3 months courses are up in the system.
I guess life knows we will never meet so they keep flashing in my dreams. Unless I'm missing something or timings are different then another but I saw everyone one except 2 of his acquaintances who maybe in year abroad courses as they were first years.

Its too late. 4 months. Must have moved on and forgotten about me.

[LalaIbby90]

What is making you hold on? And not like any other pretty girl on campus

[Asker]

I dont have any interest. Nobody pulls me

[Asker]

Also I'm goimg through such a painful almost traumatic time and you want me to look for girls 😠

[LalaIbby90]

I admit it's unhealthy... but its someway to make you forget and get over her if the pain is tooooo much

[LalaIbby90]

Given ur response u seem loyal

[Doncastar]

This dream thing you are having. I ve read about twin flame separation and the dreams you keep having is because your body and soul seeks out your other half which is this person. I see no reason why you would constantly have dreams. Been through many crushesnd hoped to get married but saw only once or twice but this continous presence isn't your mind playing tricks i think.
Your soul seeks him out.

@asker i can understand your pain. And the best thing is you are evolving. You acted immaturely. You have aggression and whimsicality and you lost her because of it otherwise you 2 would be in LDR.
I dont know how spiritually evolved she is. But unless you evolve you may not see her again

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 he can't remove his pain. This isn't a normal bond. Its def a soulmate or twin bond. Everything matches

[Asker]

Its not about loyalty. when u feel for someone u can't replace them with just anyone. Esp given the pull and intensity i felt

[Asker]

@Doncastar i fully regret my
actiobs and im trying to get over my issues. I just want us together. I wonr do anything wrong. I wish the universe forgave me.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar If they're twin flame (up until @Poppykate mentioned this i never knew what it was) or soulmates does that mean she would be feeling the same? Like the pull, the dreams, the pain etc?

@Asker I'm not insensitive trust me, but I thought considering you're in so much pain, another distraction (unhealthy one i admit) would benefit you, but if you feel too strongly about her then of course don't. Do you still prefer her asking you out though if she were to see you?

[Asker]

I had another dream. In it people were telling me about her. :/ I think im gonna go mad

[Asker]

No. I ll ask her out

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 Yes def. Its a soul connection. 1 soul into 2 parts so if they are twins she will go through the same pain and dreaming. Plus if she was fearful and made mistakes she will try to overcome those flaws too as that lead her to losing him.

It really seems that way. He ran away. From her. She remained solid. Its the runner and chaser. He said he was angry.

But now his anger has gone and he's repenting. He realizes he should not do this. Self Growth happened.

@asker again? Has the frequency increased?

[Doncastar]

I wouldn't be surprised if she hears his name too or gets subtle signs related to him.
They met and it was an electric. So many boys and girls at school yet only these 2 experienced this love at first sight.
For each other. The desperation to know each other, the lights off kinda stares, meeting unexpectedly, running and separation and now intense pain.
This is like true soulmate or tf

[Poppykate]

@Asker Did you play the meditation that I gave you the link to? If you listen to the beginning, she explains how through quiet thought and meditation, we are able to connect to those that we love. ❤️ And that while they may leave us physically, their love remains with us. Even, if you don't have time to listen to the whole thing, just try to listen to the first couple of minutes. I hope that it will give you something to think over, and hopefully bring you peace of mind that you will meet when the time is right.

[LalaIbby90]

I think it's pretty obvious you're tied to her and something will happen. Your initial mistake was impatience. You need to be patient now and just wait for things to happen naturally.

[Asker]

@Poppykate i did. When you gave me that day itself

[Asker]

All of a sudden im seeing a lot stuff from her country or the whole area.

[LalaIbby90]

Like as in pictures? Or online? Or people mentioning her country to you?
But yeah as @Doncastar said, I honestly would not be surprised if she's hearing your name, or seeing your race or anything related to you that keeps reminding her of you. Probs won't be surprised if she's in pain

[Asker]

Like words used in her language on posters at my accommodation, news related to her country, when i open social sites i see people in the comments section and then suddenly there's this person who will write love from (the country she belongs to)

I had heard of her country before meeting too. My own friends were going there & my closest mate is currently there

[LalaIbby90]

Too many signs!!! I wonder if she's seeing the same and going crazy... h mmmm?

[Asker]

Same thoughts. I wonder if she's feeling the same. I don't know what this means.

[LalaIbby90]

It would be crazy if she was seeing signs too like whether it's people from your race, your name, or about interracial couples or dreams etc. she probably thinks she's going crazy too and that everyone would think she's crazy because in her mind she thinks you long forgot about her and probably won't even remember her... little does she knw

[Asker]

Yeah i do see some posts about interracial couples here sometimes. I don't know if she does remember but hoping she does. I saw 2 months after she came here. Its been 2 weeks already
Dunno

[Asker]

I just went to my uni. It was so quiet and very few pple were there as it is Saturday and every single spot we encountered each other brought back so many fond memories.

[LalaIbby90]

"single spot we encountered each other brought back so many fond memories." such a romantic!!!
if you're soulmates then i do believe she's experiencing the same crap you're going through, thats a positive right? you're not completely alone in this?
Like there's a huge chance you two are in pain and experiencing these weird signs.
So dont be too bummed. Keep the faith that she still thinks of u and likes you and going through the same crap as a means for your heart to ease

[Asker]

Hope so. I just want eveeything to work out considering I keep getting these dreams and signs. Its irritating that all I see her is in my dreams. I want to see in physical like i used to.

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe try connecting to her like I don't know... read more about her country / race / religion etc. maybe learning more about her would help. It's all about the growth and development. Get to know more of where she comes from or what she believes in so that when you meet her you know more about her than simple facts. It's also a way to "connect to her"

[Asker]

Yes im currently doing that. Trying to learn more about the language and country and the views she held throughout the time I saw her.

[LalaIbby90]

Thats heaps good man!! That's effort on your end. *Applaud*

Hopefully you're learning a lot and finding it interesting.

[Asker]

Yes it is very interesting and very new to me. I love it and would love to visit there. My friend is already there and only if he's with me I can go there and feel truly happy

[LalaIbby90]

That's so nice!! Heaps cool.

Maybe try and visit there once semester is over? Another way of connecting to her and ROFL if you bump into her there!!

But you may not but the point is, you can go there and connect to what she's familiar with and that would probably get your heart all warm and fuzzy

[Asker]

I don't know which town. My friend studies in the capital of that country. I don't know if she comes from the countryside or city side.

Ironically I was just looking up books on amazon and a soulmate story book came up and when i opened the page link the summary indicated the lead character shared her name. Now tell me what do I do in such a case.

[LalaIbby90]

Are you fucking serious? Wtf? that's CRAZY.. :O

[Asker]

? Yeah but thats what occureed

[LalaIbby90]

Wow! I feel like the signs increased since u went back to uni

[Asker]

Yes the name one has surely increased. Im unable to understand

[LalaIbby90]

if u were to say there's one thing you miss about her what would it be?

[Asker]

Her whole being tbh.

[LalaIbby90]

That's so cute and sad :(

[Asker]

I ve lost all hope but im trying to still remain hopeful. I have no clue what these signs mean or if they even do or its me reaching

[LalaIbby90]

Lets just say you don't see her for this entire semester what u gonna do? :(

[Asker]

What will i do. Its my last year here so yeah i ll just want to finish the course and leave this place. Its too painful.

[Asker]

I ll never forget her tho. The memories and pic that I have. Its next to impossible to meet again it seems so what else. Maybe i ll go to her country and spend some time there.

[Asker]

I never understood why reciprocate of show interest when leaving. Just why

[LalaIbby90]

It doesn't make sense why she would show interest if she's leaving and never coming back. Like that's just stupid. I don't believe she'd do that if she's the sweet type at least... like why waste ur time and hers?

yiu never know man she may never forget how you made her feel too! Clearly your eye lock made her go blank was it? Your stare really impacted her and I don't think she'll forget either

It's sad how two people with so much chemistry just don't end up together especially that you're eyes are only for her, hope she has eyes only for you

[Asker]

right why would someone make so much effort if never coming back i dont get it. How on earth can this happen when clearly it was not sex we were looking for.
Its the worse that we couldnt even say goodbye to each other. It is painful.

I would have accepted it as closure if i didn't get dreams or these name or country signs. Many stupid dreams came true then why isn't it happening. I ve always seen her at this campus. Not 1 time but 4-5 times and in total 16-18 times and thw day i discovered her pic i took accidently was the same night i had the vivid dream. So can't understand. Why my mind played so many tricks.

[LalaIbby90]

Exactly. It would've been weird if it was just sex because she wouldn't give a flying fuck about how you looked at her, wouldn't eye lock with you, wouldn't stare at you "lovingly" - none of that would happen. Talking to you maybe just to get a vibe for you and then lay it out that she only wants sex but she wanted to know YOU. Means she was invested. All that effort and investment in her end... makes me go wtfffffffffffff, no way was this girl leaving and not coming back. Like what were her intentions?

she's likely having the same vivid dreams / repeated dreams of u if this soulmate thing is true.

I saw my cousin today the one I told u about she feels ur pain. She's beginning to have a lot of vivid dreams about the guy she liked. What's weird for her is that she didn't initially just repeated dream of seeing him in a dark room. But now she's dreamt recently that he gave her a note and another dream of embracing him and whispering in his ear that she misses him

[LalaIbby90]

And it's happening a lot more frequent for her. She's getting frustrated because she began getting over him and ignoring the shit out of him, and then these dreams have started in the last week apparently and hit her hard last night (the vivid one). So she's confused and angry and frustrated. So she says she feels your pain. It's ugly especially when you wanna get over someone

[Asker]

Even if she was finishing her course how come she wasn't pictured with her friends at graduation. it is so strange. A complete mystery. Which graduate doesn't come to their grad day and her friends put up the stall for grads so there is no way she wouldn't take a pic with them.

That man who said she left now said all of us came back. I dunno if he was hinting at something or simply said all of us came back.
Even if she was going love pulls people so she may have wanted to continue here considering all the effort.

[LalaIbby90]

What if she's doing one of those one semester in another country? Exchange?
Next semester she'll be back?

[Asker]

I won't be here but the person didn't say she was exchange. He said she finished her degree and won't come back. If she was exchange he would have mentioned it right?

[LalaIbby90]

Not necessarily people don’t mention anything they don’t think is irrelevant , unless he knew you liked her he wouldn’t bother.

[Asker]

Yeah but exchange is a different thing than being a regular student. He knew her country & when she leff and he told me that so kinda doubt he wouldn't say that.
Still if she was exchange why did she reciprocate. I fail to understand.

[Asker]

On some ocassions I have teared up but today morning I sobbed uncontrollably and have done this twice before. I don't know why

[Poppykate]

It is because you felt a connection with her, and now she is gone. You are feeling a kinda grief. I am sorry you feel this way. Hugs! 🤗

[LalaIbby90]

Oh wow!!! You’re in a lot, a lot, of pain!!!
Oh noooooo. 😥😥
You’re feeling it all, aren’t you?
@Poppykate has a point, you’re grieving the loss. You had a connection, you saw something great between you two (almost a spark) and there was reciprocation and it’s all gone.
Is it a certain memory that brings it along? Or looking her photograph? Or is it the dreams? What makes you so emotional?

[Asker]

Its all the memories and the fact I have to go there everyday, the place where it all started. I woke up sobbing today. I dont know how to deal with this anymore.

[Asker]

I dont know what makes me so emotional. I'm not even sure. Its just that I feel extremely sad.

[Doncastar]

@asker Realky sorry to hear that. But if you are crying without knowing why or you suddenly start crying for no reason , it could be because he may be feeling the same. Like I said if you two are truly soulmates, you will pick up what she feels.

I really hope you get out of this pain and see your love soon.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Do soulmates pick up on each other’s feelings? 😱
... it strangely makes sense though? Like if he doesn’t know why he’s getting emotional, and this “soulmate” and picking up feeling is true then he may be picking up what she feels.

Sorry don’t mind me, mind blown. Like never knew such a uing

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 Yes but it works more if they are compassionate and naturally emphatic people. These kinds of people tend to feel more. Its normal to shed tears while reminiscing but sobbing uncontrollably and not knowing why is usually said to be not the criers feelimgs but the other half. Either that soulmate is upset or feeling extremely low just like the other and if the pain is really strong then the other will pick up and start crying too.

Its quite sad but authentic reports do indicate this. The askers story was left unfinished. It was not closed. It is still open and unfinished hence i guess these signs and pain has increased ten fold.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Oh wow!!! Had no idea. But it makes sense in his case I guess. Wow.

Mate, she’s hurting fullstop. This is royally fucked up.

[Asker]

I'm not sure. If she's hurt and still here why dont i see her then :/ and if she isn't why didn't she come back like i did

[LalaIbby90]

And plus he did say she was very comfortable around him like she knew him or had known him for ages from the way she was talking to him... 🤔

[Asker]

Ya i said that. It was definitely natural despite of nervousness. But maybe she made up her mind 😣

[LalaIbby90]

What do u mean. Despite her being nervous it was natural?

And what do u mean made up mind?

[Asker]

Means maybe she decided to act confident?

[Poppykate]

I think that soulmates can feel your pain. A few years ago, I had a pain in my arm that was really painful. It lasted about a month. I went to the doctors for it, and they did an X-ray and MRI. There was nothing wrong. However, I later discovered that during that time period, the person I thought was my soulmate, had a broken arm.

[LalaIbby90]

@Poppykate Seriously? Wow. The things I’m learning!!

@Asker She may have. But was she stumbling, blushing, a little too loud etc? Then that may be signs of “acting” confident. If not, then she may have just been naturally confident with you or confident in general. You were the one to see her to make the judgement about her general confidence or confidence only with you or some of the signs that I listed that it was “acting”

[Asker]

No she wasn't stumbling or anything. Yeah she seemed shy in making eye contact but in talking she was freely doing it

[Asker]

Ok so i counted my dreams and its approx 28 times i ve had her in my dreams. Extra 2 were me mistaking others for her and another 2 was me looking for her but she wasn't there

[LalaIbby90]

It could be two things: She may be generally confident with everyone or she felt comfortable around (something about you made her feel safe to talk to). With this whole soulmate thing I reckon it’s the latter. Because inability to maintain prolonged eye contact is her being shy and not bold. So why was it when she spoke she was all free and comfortable? I think it’s how she felt “like she was at home” or “familiar” with you. And it could very much be that unexplained bond. I don’t think she consciously knew about her comfort in talking to you and why. I doubt she even sensed the bond tbh with you. She may be oblivious to it all, but I guess that’s why she spoke to you like she’s been mates with you for ages.
That’s a lot of fucking dreams 😮😮😮

[Asker]

Well yeah she started chatting as if she was friends with me. It was strange because she couldnt keep the eye contact but the talking was so free.

[Asker]

Yeah i know. I'm side eyeing it now because not for once any of these came true but I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

I think I know why to be honest. She felt at “home” or at least “safe” having that conversation with you. Like you have off a comforting vibe for her to be able to speak freely. She may be good with talking to people so that could’ve helped her but something about you made her feel really comfortable just chatting with you like she knew you ages.
The eye contact I know why too, it’s 99% because you made her heart weak and they say eyes are windows to the soul. Eye locking / maintaining eye contact , that’s her putting her guard down completely. Maybe she was shy and maybe she was afraid how much you’ll be able to read off her by both maintains eye contact. It’s scary thinking someone may pick up a lot about you by staring right into your soul. She may have been shy not from you BUT was shy of feeling so raw and naked knowing that you may pick up how much she liked you. She may not have been ready to show how DEEP those feeelings were.

[Asker]

But how? We were strangers. Never spoken before. All we talked was through our eyes. And now I dont see her. And probably never will.

[LalaIbby90]

Exactly. If this soulmate thing is true, then the connection / bond between you two made her comfortable around you OR you seemed like an approachable person for her to approach and talk so comfortably. She may also have had peoples skills and is really good at talking. With our crush we usually become nervous - like blushing, quickly talking, stammering while talking, nervous laugh. But she didn't have any of that. She was extremely comfortable around you which makes me thing (1) bond (2) you give off good vibes.
Talked with you eyes? Do NOT underestimate eyes talking. Windows to the soul remember? You can find out a lot - how much a person feels by just staring them in the eyes. Like when you eyelocked with her, in the few seconds she could hold it, what were you able to read? Did her eyes say she's into you? Was their lust in them? Was her pupils dilated?

[Asker]

No never did I feel lust. It was always a very curious and sweet look. Plus the day we talked he was looking at me with such a pure expression on the face. Gentle and pure

[LalaIbby90]

What do u mean by pure?
I swear this girl sounds like bambi all naive and crap haha !

[Asker]

I can't explain. But all i saw was such a beautiful look on the face when we first met before we talked. But it was always looking like admiration.

[LalaIbby90]

OH! Like the way she looked at you was genuine - her attraction towards you was clear and genuine? With admiration?
She sounds fragile (I hate to use that word but...). She sounds the type to be easily hurt or heart to be broken despite her looks :/

[Asker]

Yes it was clear and genuine. There was never any sign of lust in the eyes.

[LalaIbby90]

Well at least we know jumping your bones Wass not her #1 priority.

[Asker]

yeah i never saw staring at my body or anything. It was always face and eyes. Is it wrong that whenvmever i think and see the pics i end up in tears. I'm completely unable to cope

[LalaIbby90]

If that’s the case she more than liked you. I guess she liked you for who you were.
I really think you’re mourning the loss. For soulmate believers it may be like the others said u picking up on pain. But you’re hurting pretty bad.
I wonder if she has a pic of you? 🤔🤔
That would be hurtful too I guess for her

[Asker]

I doubt she has any. Must have forgotten how I look. I don't know if we are soulmates but i did ask her have we met before.

[LalaIbby90]

Pffffffffffft. Doubt it. You’re probably inked into her memory

[Asker]

I saw dream again. :///

[LalaIbby90]

What about?

[Asker]

Saw her happy and plsyful with friends and i was there watching

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe she is happy or maybe you wants to see her happy I guess. But if it’s how the other two were saying you can feel or pick up on her feelings then she may not be happy. Who knows 🤔 hmmmnn

Side eye it like you said because we don’t really know what’s gonna happen you know? What she’s feeling now? Or what she’s up to? Or if she still feels the same way?

If the whole soulmate thing is true then I guess she’s not over you. Even if it’s not true, as a girl I can tell you she still remembers you and has some feelings still lingering assuming she’s still single which I do think so because you don’t go from what you guys experienced into a relationship quickly. But we don’t know if her anger / confusion had turned into hate. We don’t know

[Asker]

She may have gotten over hence the reason she's happy. But im side eyeing this cuz none of my dreams came true so

[Poppykate]

Ok.. you need to take a deep breathe. They are just dreams, and not real life. She is probably missing you too. But you ignored her. It's a lesson learned. 1. Don't ignore women you like... it's just mean. 2. Get contact details! See it as a life lesson, and try not to be so sad! 😁

[LalaIbby90]

So what makes u 100% sure she’s happy?

[Asker]

Nothing. I'm just tired of these dreams. Recently i have been facing lots of delays in my work and stuff. I still have 1% hope of reunion. I always tell myself my dreams and stuff are wrong and fake but my inner voice refuses to accept it

[LalaIbby90]

What do you mean by delays? Like can’t concentrate?

They always say listen to your gut, aye?

[Asker]

Delays in the sense that most of my work like i was getting my work done but after some hurdles or problems

[Asker]

I dunno why my inner voice keeps saying something which seems like it won't happen

[LalaIbby90]

Oh so hurdles and problems unrelated to you girl. Awww that sucks having to go through emotional pain and then shit at work that’s.. awful :( :(

Do u feel that everytme you wanna give up on her , you get that voice?

[Asker]

Related to uni course decisions, funding and all, everything had hurdles and I was late in everything because of these hurdles.

Yes everytime I think we will never meet and so on, I always get this voice saying no.

[LalaIbby90]

Sounds like you’re a sharp guy and this whole mess made you feel like everywhere and things don’t seem going right

The inner voice is either denial or the bond

Okay, what if you see her and let’s just say she started dating someone else?

[Asker]

Nothing is going right. Everything had delays. And I'm probably in denial.

[Asker]

I probably will never see and he will move on. Nobody cares for a 2 week staring thing

[LalaIbby90]

Lol at how you made the mistake of writing “he” a couple of times
You cared. A lot. So that’s not “nobody”

[Asker]

I did. Who knows if she does. I'm in denial and was tricked by myself with these stupid dreams and got cheated

[LalaIbby90]

Sounds like no girl has caught your attention the way she has for a long time... :/

[Asker]

Yeah but why did my own self cheat me. Why i kept getting vivid dreams

[LalaIbby90]

Option A - You liked her a lot and this kind of attraction was your first. Too mesmerised by her personality / looks. Loved that she reciprocated. Intense sexual chemistry that wouldn’t leave you. Hence dreams.

Option B- you guys are linked. Bonded. Soulmates. She’s your other half who you’ll end up marrying and possibly being the father of her children. The person you’ll wake up every morning and seeing that face next you (Not even being sarcastic, dead serious).

[LalaIbby90]

Bright side if you end marrying - your children will have her big eyes and possibly your blue eyes and that sounds like cute babies

[Asker]

But why wouldn't my dreams leave me? Its been 4 months now.

[LalaIbby90]

Option B as we mentioned earlier.

It’d be so interesting if you have a vivid dream of marrying her or something intimate 😲 that shows how you’ll end up together

[Asker]

I did see putting a band around her finger. But I don't know. My dreams occur for real at times but with a difference. Like when I saw her outside in the sun she was sitting on the different side of the campus in my dream but in reality she was sitting outside the main building with different people.

The babies are cute tho.

[LalaIbby90]

I'm surprised you haven't had an intimate dream about her

[Asker]

The band however was a thread so i didn't understand what it meant tho

[LalaIbby90]

The babies are cute. Bambi eyes mixed with blue eyes, nghhhawww!
Oh the band dream. Completely forgot about that.
DUDE YOU'RE PUTTING A RING ON IT. Like that dream is way better than the note dream or confessing your feelings.

meaning of thread in dreams "the thread is a symbol of patience on real life, perhaps you are experiencing so much stress and you are at the limit of your patience. Dreaming about thread is a reminder that we must keep our string of patience long."

Keep patient in other words... she's yours but with time

[Asker]

I imagine it but not sexual till now. The love confession holding hands and putting a thread around her are the only personal ones i ve seen

[LalaIbby90]

"I imagine it but not sexual till now. " - what are you referring to here?
That's a lot man. It seems like you're going to confess how you feel one day, you'll end up together, you'll date and hold hands and you're going to propose. But your dreams seems like is saying you need to patient it won't happen now or right away

[Asker]

I mean I imagined sexual stuff with but didn't see in dream. The only personal ones I saw are those I told you. The confession and holding hands and the thread one. I neber understood the pattern. But in order for this to occur we need to meet which isn't happening.

Even back in summer this year I never saw her until June. If I had not seen I wouldn't know she existed at this college.

[Asker]

Another thing I never added was this- I think she was on her period when we talked for the first time coz i remember clearly she was clutching looked slightly sickly, was walking really slow and later on that day I saw her on the benches grabbing her lower abdomen. I never discussed this with anyone until i read this crappy soulmate article however the only weird thing was 1 commentator on that post said that this is special? I don't know if its even real but she was claiming in intense connections if such a thing occurs it means something? I don't know if she was reaching or what

[LalaIbby90]

Sorry but I’m so confused by your last post. Could you explain it a little better? I’m a bit lost

[Asker]

I meant I that the soulmate article I read was implying that if your partner or other half meets during their most vulnerable time its something? I doubt it this theory but apparently I felt she was on her period and I didn't tell anyone until I came across that crappy article yesterday

[LalaIbby90]

Periods a bitch. I’m on my too 😂 anyways too much information but it’s bitch because this weeks been hell because of it.

But yeah the cramping, the pain, the low energy, the mood swings it’s all period related and you don’t even know how to make it stop. You 100% feel vulnerable.
Many of us feel like a train wreck during the time and I guess she’s one of them

[Asker]

I dunno when I will see her. Im dying

[LalaIbby90]

The thread remember. Patience. Your biggest fault was impatience previously. You need to learn how to be patient and wait for the time to happen. It's going to happen when you LEAST expect it.

[Asker]

I try to but end up getting emotional. And even my tarot cards are saying to have patience. The pull is so strong. I just dont understand how this kind of intensity developed for a person who was a stranger and with whom I only had communication with my eyes.

Everytime i try to tell myself its all over, he's gone and I wong see her again , I get such an empty feeling inside as if I am only saying this. My insides dont agree with it. I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

You have tarot cards?
Why don't you start writing about what you would say to her or what you would like to say to her? It may reduce the pent up negative feelings.
Happy for you to write it here, if that would make you feel better.
Patience is key.

[Asker]

No i dont have cards but i do check my weekly or monthly horoscopes and one of my apps had this free readings so I took them and it said patience.

[Asker]

Does that thread indicate bonded to her as well? Cuz I saw myself putting the thread on her finger?

[LalaIbby90]

It probably does mean that you’re bonded to her for life. Some were saying that it’s a journey you’ll take on. So maybe a journey with her and a lot were saying patience for a path that will come.

[Asker]

Journey? Path? Who said?

[LalaIbby90]

Online dream meanings of what thread means in a dream.
The two main where a path/ journey that you’re heading towards and the other was patience.

My understating is that it’s somerhing you’re heading towards, a journey you’ll take that requires patience. It is something destined for you and will happen but requires patience.

So basically your journey is towards her and eventually with her, given a good time

[Asker]

I hooe so. I did see a third person playing some role between us the day i had the confession+holding hands dream and honestly it now dawned on me that it maybe u simce u are actively helping out. And i did see myself being more in tune with the third person but yeah the confession holding hands thing is I don't know where

[LalaIbby90]

Oh wow that’s really interesting!!! I’d be so happy if I was able to get you to going / together. After all this, it’d be the best to see you confess and finally have the opportunity to hold her hand. That would be the cutest

[Asker]

I dont know when this will occur. I'm tired of not seeing. I'm so drained and fed up i cannot even explain. All i ask is when and why and sometimes i even feel if im doing the right thing by taking these dreams literally

[Asker]

So turns out she is gone. Fpr some reason she did not attend her graduation ceremony. All my dreams were fake i guess. Just to lure me back here using her as a tool. IIhave lo it all.

[LalaIbby90]

What about patience did you miss bro?
P a t I e n c e

If you’re soulmates it doesn’t end at uni :/

[Asker]

But what if we aren't and it seems impossible to meet. Like how? We are on 2 continents probably with no chance of seeing each other :/// only my dreams of mistaking others for her is coming true :///

[Asker]

I told another friend of mine snd she went on destiny and fate :/

[LalaIbby90]

You’re telling people!! That’s awesome!! So happy for you. You’re coming out!!! No longer afraid of what others think. What did she say exactly

[Asker]

Yeah i couldnt contain it anymore.

She said she was sorry to hear that and then she heard the whole thing abiut the dreams too and since she's japanese she believes in fate and destiny so she advised me to be pstient and have faith in destiny and that maybe i will get the good news in the form of a Christmas gift. She was really supportive and helpful.

[Poppykate]

That is wonderful news!

[LalaIbby90]

That’s so nice to hear man!! Congrats on being brave enough to open up to people you know in your daily life.

It’s really sweet how she was supportive and all!! Aww. That’s so good. Japanese do believe in it!! Glad she thought you guys were bonded and linked too.

Did she have suggestions or just be patient

[Asker]

She said to be patient and though she initially said to ask her friends , she then said it is not needed as it will create unneccessary gossip. She said the way we met and everything happened seemed like fate so she said to believe in it.

[Asker]

Plus guys she found her out! Her name is written differently and is a variant form of an original name which I kept seeing everywhere. She also mentioned that she's most likely here as she's listed in the academia members of the department/school which I am in and coincidently I will be syudying her religion in my next term 😲

The pic on her research site and academic profile has her with shorter hair tho and has with her family members and seems like its old pic as her hair was pretty long and she looks a little different than how she looks now so im guessing its old and you when my friend told me about this news she said a rainbow showed up in the sky today after the weird rain+sun thing going on here.

[Poppykate]

That's fantastic news!!!

[LalaIbby90]

THATS AMAZING!
Your friend is a legend!!
She seems like she knows a lot and thats epic!!
You now know she's on campus.:D
GO FIND HER <3

[Asker]

Hoping she's on campus tho haven't seen her around at all. Kinda tensed tho. Thinking if still likes me.

[Poppykate]

@Asker Maybe send flowers to her department?

[LalaIbby90]

She should be around campus if she’s still on there. Now you know how her family look too. Wow way to be introduced to the in laws haha!
So you’re pretty nervous not knowing how she feels about you?

[Asker]

Lol at the in laws thing.
But yeah I am really nervous. I dont want to raise my hopes up only to get a negative response so I am just letting it be. I looked for her every day but never saw her anywhere in these last 3 weeks. The course list didn't mention whether she left or is still here. It just stated her as one of the members.

My friend said to let go and just leave it on fate. She said we were fated to meet before and if its a real thing then I should wait for the fated day again.
She believes a lot in spiritual stuff so she said she saw rainbow after finding her for me so she says its positive

[Asker]

We are in the same school of history philosophy religion. The only difference is departments and I didn't know I was gonna study about her religion until I found hers yesterday

[Asker]

And i forgot to add I did dream of her this morning. I did have useless dreams too but I saw her in another too.

[Doncastar]

You found out a lot! Great!

[LalaIbby90]

I’m so happy for you!!! I swear!!
It’s been really busy on my end. But I’m stoked for you.

What was the dream about?
And any sign of her?

[Asker]

Happy but why?

Just the usuzl. Saw her around campus and I was looking. And nope :/

[LalaIbby90]

Because she’s still on campus and your friend says so. So your chances of meeting her went up the roof!!! 😀😀

So excited for you haha! Like... I don’t even know who you two are but being the hopeless romantic I can imagine what it would be like if you two were to bump into one another! Like... so cute

[Asker]

But I dont think she's on campus tbh :/ my friend found her out but its odd I wouldn't see her when classes are on. she's not on semester abroad because her details didn't mention so her absence is doubtful :/

[Asker]

Cute?

[LalaIbby90]

The idea of you guys meeting spontaneously one day - completely unexpected is cute! Like your reactions would be too adorable! Don’t you think?
Like haven’t you thought about it

[Asker]

I did but simce i dont see her i dont have hope :/ plus who knows if she still feels for me. Anyways thats when he's here :/ which im kinda doubting

[LalaIbby90]

What’s your ideal scenario if bumping into her

[LalaIbby90]

When you bump into her *

[Asker]

Smile and see her response. If she smiles back then chat. But it seems like a dream :/

[Asker]

So i found out from a friend. she's graduated. Left. She came here in 2014 and the 3rd year was completed this year. I don't know why she did not come for her graduation but yeah. i was really cheated. Or maybe like u said the unfulfilled desire kept fuelling the dreams. it is impossible to meet again. I must have done a lot of bad stuff to undergo this pain but yeah forget it.
Thanks for your help. I ll really remember it :)

[Doncastar]

:( I am really sorry to hear that :( Pls stay strong. Life is uncertain. Who knows you may see her again very soon :)

[Asker]

I didn't even ask for love. I had given up. I just thought who my partner was but didn't look. Why introduce someone then cruelly take away. Why. I dont get it. Then make me see all these bloody dreams which have no basis in reality.

I dont get it. Why reciptocated when was leaving. What was the point. Why just played with me and left. she's probably forgotten me but here I am dealing with the pain each day. I hace to see that uni where i dont feel like going. I can't believe life has been this cruel to me. I didn't ask yet introduced then snatched it away.

[Doncastar]

@asker :) dont say that. Your love felt the same. You said she did not come for her graduation? I can guarantee you its because of you. She knew she was going. You said she looked over at the main building. I'm sure she was torn too and that is why she did not come back to the very campus where she would lose someone she fell in love with.. Otherwise a such a devoted academic student and not coming for the ceremony?

what do you think @Poppykate @Lalalbby90

[Doncastar]

Have any of your dreams come true? Pls think carefully then answer

[Asker]

@Doncastar i can't think of any. Its just these that i mistake others for her and that she's not there and then i saw her pics in my dream like 2 months ago and some details like dob & through the info provided by my friend I did some searching today & found her pics with her family members/relatives & her birth year as per my dream was 1990 but upon calculating through 1 of the pics uploaded there its 1991 or 1992. So only these as of now

[Asker]

Whoever I told said there was nothing between us and I didn't pursue her she didn't pursue me and we made no effort to know each other so our story is nothing but a joke. And they even said that with a few run ins and stares nobody becomes anyones soulmate more when they even left

[LalaIbby90]

Damn. You’re receiving mixed opinion from your friends. So this is a new person who said it was a joke?

Seems like the only two supportive people were house mate and Japanese friend. That sucks.

Well now you know how her relatives / family look. And have more information regarding her like roughly her year of birth.

Didn’t know you dreamt about her year of birth though.

[LalaIbby90]

Plus we know why you didn’t pursue her so it’s not like you didn’t want to

[Asker]

Yeah. I told another friend and they were like there's no connection you are just infatuated to see the dreams. He also said nobody cares about a few run ins and stares.

But whats the point? Its all over :/

Yeah I did dream of a facebook type thing and it had pics of her with family and details and yesterday it happened but differently. Like the details werent there but pics with family was.

[Asker]

Plus I saw another dream where she was topless and I kept looking at her and I also saw a pair of snakes mating

[Asker]

Do u also think she skipped her grad ceremony because of this incident?

[Doncastar]

What was the color of the snakes?

[Asker]

@Doncastar green. Like the ones founf in green anaconda

[LalaIbby90]

I just love how you went from “no ones going to know about this” to telling your housemate, your Japanese friend and now this other friend. You’re growing 🙌🏻 Proud that you’re able to open up about how you feel.

[Asker]

But whats the point? :/

[LalaIbby90]

The point is you get to express what you’re going through rather than bottling it all up. Now at least you’ve not only done it online you’ve told people you know. You’ve had two supporter and two people who thought it was a joke. Really it’s a tie. The three of us on her support you two - so really there’s more for it than against it

[Asker]

But how can I even meet her ever again? And what does mating snakes dream mean? Is it related to her?

[Asker]

There is a girl near my flat whose haur is the exact copy of hers. Whenever I see that girl it slways reminds me of her.

[Asker]

*hair

[Doncastar]

"Kundalini Awakening also know as a symbol of Twin Flame union is represented by two serpents. The ying and the yang ie the masculine snake and the feminine snake of the divine form. When kundalini awakening is achieved it is either felt through electrical pulses throughout the body or through snakes such seeing snakes in realm or in dream world. The coming together of the two serpents means the twin flame separation gap has been bridged"

Dude, this is what you experienced. You and your mate manifested itself in spiritiual world. You said you saw her topless. Thats a sexual dream.

I can't tell when you guys will reunite but its pretty much occured in the spiritual world. Two snakes mating means its a symbol of physical unification.

So from your letter+confession+holding hands+ putting thread on finger+ snakes mating =

I'm sensing a pattern of a marriage or serious relationship? When it will occur? I dont know. What do you feel?

[Asker]

@Doncastar i dont know. I don't know why i feel we will meet soon but it could be that im in denial. I saw a dream again in which we shared eye contact but she was making me jealous with another guy. I saw she had no love for him but was just teasing me and making me jealous. I don't know what it means

[LalaIbby90]

Wow @Poppykate that’s intense!!!

I have no idea what the snakes mean but @Poppykate does it I guess!!! Wow!!!

I do think there's a fairly good chance you’ll have a serious relationship with this girl which is going to end up with marriage.

Maybe she’s going to try and make you jealous when u see her. Girls we do that. If we feel like we’ve been rejected, we’ll flirt with other guys and get their attention in front of our crush to make him jealou s and feel his missed an opportunity. If she does that don’t fall for it - she’s wanting you to hurt and feel that you’ve lost her but she’s truly wanting your attention

[Poppykate]

Dreaming of snakes particularly ones that are mating or twisted/ twisting together is a sign that you will come together soon. I had a similar dream a few days ago, but thought it was just my fear of snakes. The idea is to not force it. Just wait and see what happens.

[Asker]

But how? We are on different continents. Ir seems impossible :/

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 @Poppykate It is intense. The entwined snakes does not seem very common. There are almost no proper explanation for the mating snakes dream. All other snake dreams are described and available online but entwined or mating ones aren't and they only show up in soul or twin connections.

He saw her topless and the mating snakes. Its kinda pointing towards sexual portion of their connection. From what I believe their spiritual sexual union has been done if thats how you call it?

The actual merging of their bodies is something that can will happen when they cross paths again.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Sorry I’m so confused. What do you mean by their spiritual sexual union has been done?

I didn’t even know dreaming of snakes has a meaning. I always knew snakes in a dream are enemies or bad people. But this interpretation is so new to me

[LalaIbby90]

Just googled it. It says “to see two snakes mating in a dream means there will be a birth in family or news of someones birthday” but “to see a snake means bad omen or person” .

[Asker]

But how? she's in a different country and she knows we can never see each other again so must have forgotten me :/

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 @Lalalbby90 The spiritual page says that two snakes are denoted in the heart chakra and coming together of them is one of the indicators of kundalini rising and two entwined snakes of male and female origin means coming together of 2 souls in twin or soul theory so if these 2 are souls or twins then they consumated in spiritually

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker there’s a difference between moving on and forgotten. She may have moved on but I If someone wereto mention you or let’s just say something happens and reminds her of you - she would remember. It’s not like she’s suddenly had amnesia. She wouldn’t have forgotten but possibly moved on. We don’t know for sure.

@Doncastar Mhmmmm... I don’t know. We can’t say 100% that she’s his soul mate. That dream would possibly hold true if she was his soulmate but we don’t know that for sure.

We know they had a really good connection and attraction to one another. We know he still feels it. But we have no idea about her

[Asker]

So far only 2 dreams have come true. I dont believe for a second that there's any chance of us meeting. Its impossible now. I just wonder why do all this when she waa leaving. Why didn't she stay away?

[Asker]

This is thep most cruelest phase of my life thats all I know.

[LalaIbby90]

Look that’s what I said before like why would she do all of that? LIKE WHY Give you all that attention if she’s not going to pursue or come back? I don’t get it either to be honest.
Like if she was leaving and not coming back a long distance wouldn’t have worked. So it makes me wonder that was going on in her head?
Unless she liked the attention you gave her but I doubt it since she sounded really sweet and not cruel? Thoughts?

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 For sure. What he says appears like a soulmate connection but we cannot tell unless we see the other person's condition. It could be she didn't feel that time but may feel now if its a soul thing.

Anyways I do not want to kill your hopes so I would suggest letting it go. It seems impossible but hey, people reunite everyday.
Who knows what's in store? Granted you guys suffered a very cruel end but who knows that wasn't the end but a start of the beginning?

Like you said YOUR dreams did come true. Then why not just wait and watch.. I know it is painful when you go to the same place where it all began and see people who look like her but c'mon.

I know your in love so the mistakes of the other person won't be visible but I feel she is in a worse position. No photos, couldnt even see you before leaving. You did. That it self is sad for her considering how much she liked you. All she could see were the buildings and areas were you met. She went with a broken heart too.

[Asker]

I found some pics of her online. Searched her name & all it came up that she was looking for a good school in 2011 aug when in her country the academic year begins in aug. So i worked out that she didn't join school in 2011 but in 2012 which took 3 years so in 2015 she finished school and from 2015 if u count then she should be here. Unless she joined in 2011 itself then she's graduated as 2014-2017

What would u think if a guy who acted like me and left knowing he was going to leave?

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker what you mean by your question?

[Asker]

I mean suppose a different guy did what I did to attract her and shared the exact same things I shared with her but he left then can you make out why he would do that when he was leaving?

[LalaIbby90]

Are you asking about her perspective? Like what she would’ve thought about what you did to attract her and all before leaving / uni ending? Just to clarify before I go writing an essay

[LalaIbby90]

If so, she would’ve thought (1) wow he likes me and is going to ask me out before he leaves / uni finishes (2) we both like each other yayyyyy!

But once you left and no sign of asking out or pursuing, she would’ve had self doubt about your feelings and may have interpreted it as you liked the attention or was just doing it for fun.

Unless she picked up you were shy

[Asker]

No from another guy's perspective

[Asker]

Like why would he do all this (what I did to her) if he was permanently leaving?

[Asker]

If he did what I did I doubt it was just for fun :/ it was a pull :/

[LalaIbby90]

3rd party objective lens: he wanted to date her or really liked her

From her eyes, she wouldn’t be able to think straight because she’s in this mess. A lot of thoughts would have swept her mind. She wouldn’t know how you truly felt not even with everything you did. She would’ve been confused, saddened, angry, hurt. The intensity of it would’ve been depending on how much she liked you. I guarantee you she would’ve probably paid money to know whether you actually liked her or if it was all in her head. The not knowing would’ve killed her. She may even now think that you’ve moved on and probs dating someone

[Asker]

I don't know how or what to do. I feel so lost and empty as if a part of me went away. I should have kept away but no I didn't. Thinking of all those times makes me extremely emotional. The only good thing is 3 of my dreams related came true & finally found the records of her when i thought i couldnt find ever.

My friend told me that like my dreams which came true but differently maybe our meeting will come true differently as well. She also said she senses a pattern like we seem like fate. And she was happy i was gonna study her religion/culture in my next term

But the only thing that bothers is how

[LalaIbby90]

And I think if she knew she wasn’t coming back why didn’t she stay away? Which makes me think again that she’s back but you’re not finding her. It makes me think as well maybe she wanted to keep away but couldn’t? It could be that pull you’re talking about both of you got pulled into one another and both had this unexplainable attraction for one another. It’s strange that she also wanted to keep it subtle and not make others know that she likes you.
It does seem fated. Which 3 dreams came true?
Reunification isn’t impossible and the how bit no one knows. But if may be different to your dreams probably even better. No one knows what she’s experiencing it could be anywhere between she moved on to she’s in pain and feels it.

[Asker]

Yeah I mean just why couldn't she stay away I don't know. It was something between us which just wouldn't let us stay away from each other i guess.
The 1 i saw the day she left like sitting in the sun, then me mistaking others for her & now the facebook one with her pics & tho i also saw her dob in my dream i didn't in reality tho I could calculate the birth year based on the stuff i found and again its closer to what i saw in my dream

[LalaIbby90]

If that’s the case then I’m pretty sure she must’ve felt the bond between you two OR at least had no idea why she was attracted to you. She must’ve felt confused.

Are you gonna message in fb?

[Asker]

She isn't on fb but the pics I saw where through her relatives. I typed her name and her aunt and cousins had posted some info & pics
They are like old pics mostly except 1.

I can't describe or understand this bond at all. Do you really think we can be soulmates and these dreams really mean legit?

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah no that’s just weird if it’s the Aunty. Do not go there. Thought it was her. But it’s still great that you got something. The photos and all, like weirdly you’re a little bit more connected than nothing at all. Like at least now you know more about her
If it’s truly a bond that you’re feeling and not just lingering deep feelings (because I think they’re different) then she must feel it too. Because a bond is two way right? Whereas deep lingering feeling can be one way. But if it really is a pull and bond, then man she’s feeling it most likely.
If 3 came true, then why won’t the rest I say. I am a believer that dreams have meaning and in your case I do think they do. I think she means a lot to you, she’ll most likely become something important in your life. You may actually share a life with this girl and the world is working in a way where you’re learning heaps about her and next sem you’re learning about culture / religion. Believe there’s a reason. She’s special sounds like it

[LalaIbby90]

Like you know about her friends, relatives / family. You roughly know dob. You know roughly about her culture and religion and will be learning more. You have seen old pics of her. The dreaming. The bond. It’s like everything around you is pointing towards her.

[Asker]

Yeah at least I know something so thats fine but yeah I do think there is a reason for it because I dont see why I would meet someone and then separate and then be haunted by that very person? I hope but i dont know how we will reunite

[LalaIbby90]

Exactly. You don’t meet someone and have such a strange pull to them and then separate and then get bombarded with all these dreams and signs that she’s yours for no reason.
I have a sneaking suspicion she’s having the dreams as well, she’s probably feeling her other half is missing and probably has intense emotional outbursts (probably same time you’re having them). She’s probably hella confused, I just hope she’s the type to talk to someone about it like you did

[Asker]

Yeah. I mean there were so many people in my university and there are people who stare at me but I never felt any kind of pull towards them. Its weird how suddenly someone shows up and you feel this intense attraction which was unspoken but we knew how we felt about one another through our eyes then just split up but continue experiencing their presence through ways like dream or signs like learning about culture or religion something which I didn't even expect because i wasn't sure of her religion until I found out her last name and my co

[Asker]

Course. It seems impossible to meet because I dont know how but maybe something unexpected. I saw myself confessing here. Strange how i couldnt confess but in my dream I did but through letter.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah. It’s weird how seems like there are girls in your life and around you who give you attention but your eyes are only her. It’s acthally really cute and romantic. Kind of emphasises how much you like her. It’s nice how you guys both knew that you were attracted to each other without saying anything, like that would’ve been intense eye stares for it that kind of message to get sent across?
It also seems like you really want to confess to her IRL?

[Asker]

Yeah like i always mentioned. Our eye contact was very intense and she always flushed and couldnt keep up while I kept on. It was a beautiful time.
I do. I dont think of it much when I had that dream but yeah i did but couldnt say it as usual so wrote it in the letter. And she said she loves me in the dream. so I don't know how this will occur. I mean online searching and all is still possible but this confession? :/

[Asker]

Yeah always saw her in the crowd only. She too

[LalaIbby90]

So you can’t see yourself confessing or her confessing? Like does it seem harder to think that it would happen irl because of both your personalities and the inability of any of you two doing it before so most likely won’t happen even if u end up seeing each other again because both of you are shy?

Is that what you’re saying?

[Asker]

No i mean i couldnt say anything before so it was nice i did even if it was with a letter. She also said she loves him but she at least had the courage to talk. I failed there :/

[LalaIbby90]

I’m so confused. Sorry. Like you comparing real life to dream? I know in the dream she said she loved you and you said it in the letter and irl she spoke with you but you found it hard...
but what do u think would happen if you were to bump I get the feeling you’re going to get scared again and she seems like she won’t make the first move either :/

[Asker]

No do you really think after literally going mad for 4 months I am going to not say a word? I will. Hoping she does.
But for that I need to know if she's here. I still didn't see her so i doubt she's here :/ I dont know what to do here. Its pathetic. My November horoscope pointed out I am gonna get proposals and loce stuff but i dont believe it. Unless she's physically present here with feelings how is it?

I saw the guy i asked about her in my dream and and i saw him yesterday after nit seeing him for a week. So my dreams do come true but i dont know why its happening in this case

[LalaIbby90]

When you confess I can tell you now she’s most likely going to be happy , relieved and hella pissed 🤣

[Asker]

Pissed why?

[Asker]

But how to confess? Wheres her body? Unless here how can i? :/

[LalaIbby90]

Because she may have expected you to do it back then and if this is hurting her till now, she would be pissed.

You’ll just have to wait until you see her. When you do don’t stare again. Go up to her, say hi. Ask her if she remembers you. Tell her your remember her and ask how she is and what she’s up to. Create conversation and then tel her you’ve been thinking about her and missed the opportunity to ask her out and would like to see if she’s interested in going out for coffee. Don’t stall too much when you see her just create convo and ask to hang out from the get go.
You guys have everything already just do it when u see her

[Asker]

I dont know which part of the world I ll see again. Seens highly unlikely here unless she miraculously appears like did 4 months ago :/

[Asker]

Also its a bit funny how we are like polar opposites in terms of appearance? I'm pretty masculine & you know have a bigger build & she's so small and so feminine.

[LalaIbby90]

They say that polar opposites attract though right?

You sound handsome yourself, what’s with the low self esteem? She doesn’t sound out of your league. Or is it because she’s not a girl you’re used to dating (from your country/ background)?

I remember you saying her looks are opposite of yours and different to the girls you’ve been with or hooked up with

[Asker]

I don't know i just got so mesmerised with her to keep looking at her all the time!
I was reading an article on twin flames and there was a part on ascension and they listed having physical ailments lile itching and coincidently i have been suffering for itching and rashes for the last 12 days. i dunno whats going on and another thing which hit me was me posessing a bag with her religions symbolic words on it. That word is used for the supreme creator god in her religion.

[LalaIbby90]

That’s cute! But don’t let her looks put you off or down. I’m sure she found you good looking for her to reciprocate. She barely knew you to be going for personality. So your looks were appealing to her eyes, so no reason to feel like she’s “wow”. You were both attracted to one another and liked how you both looked. You may be her “type” who knows.
And physical ailments? Really? So like does that mean she has itching and rashes? Or is it because separation leads to that? Never heard the twin flames until the two girls mentioned it. Curious to know you’ve learnt

First the symbols on your bag then learning about her religion next sem... yeahhhh sounds like connected to her or you began realising this stuff after loving her

[Asker]

I think I did see her type of guy & kinda matched my appearance coz there was a fun sheet girls filled about their types & while restocking the sheets in order I had seen she wrote a tall masculine guy with light eyes and longish hair + scruffy type so maybe.
I did her looking at me after we saw each other 1st time.

I dunno if she's getting rash or itches but I am surely. There was this ascension sympyoms article and it listed getting these when i never got a rash like this in my life.

[Asker]

Yeah i do yoga and yoga is associated with her religion so i did get a bag with Om written in devnagari script on my bag and she of course recognized it.

[LalaIbby90]

That’s so cute!!! The amount of things you’ve learnt in such a short time about her and the energy you put. Hopefully you meet soon mate

[Asker]

I was just reflecting through the whole incident we shared. It kinda reminded a lot of things so yeah but yeah hope so. Though the cirrent situation seems not good :/

[LalaIbby90]

You remembered like more moments u shared with her?

[Asker]

The ones we shared? Yes of course

[Asker]

And do you think she skipped her gradyation and never came back to this university either coz she's still here or coz of us?

Coz i know she was student rep of her department & very active in student affairs & before leaving she even represented the uni for her department so i find it fishy that she never returned? I mean such an active student plus her family may have wanted to be at grad party. I know she hated the uni but everyone hates the uni coz of its high fees and exploiting workers but still they do come esp when they were such an active one?

I mean me and my whole group really dislikes the uni and we are political but still most of my graduate friends came so I don't know. I did see a friend of hers yesterday if that was her.

What do u reckon?

And u know the way i go to my uni was advertising how they are selling pastries from her country in case of missed breakfast

[Asker]

I had a very strange dream u know. I didn't see her but saw her friends and then i saw a plane which apparently reminded me of her departure and I cried a lot. I also saw 11:11 in my dream. I'm confused. What could this mean?

[Doncastar]

I can't believe such an involved person wouldn't come for grad ceremony. It could be u.

Anyways i suggest you follow your own gut feelings.

DONT believe the Twin Flame articles AT ALL. They are a load of bullshit written by people who think twin flames are something common. Most of these people haven't even met their twin or soulmare but will confidently say we are twin flames blah blah only because their signs of crushing/relationship matched with TF signs.

99% of them are NOT in TF relationships. They are just in abusive or obsessive relations and making excuses for it.

I dont believe in twins. I believe in soulmates. The reason being TF are NOT split souls. They are 2 souls in 1 body/heart. Means you+your partner.

TF don't abuse. Emotionally or physically. And then separate just because he's a 'runner'. Thats rubbish.
Rarely TF are in a relationship and then separate.

There is NO spiritual waiting growth game.

[Doncastar]

The actual soulmates are just shattered and ruined because of separation. Lots of tears, feelings of despair like why did I go through this, why me, what did I do to receive this cruelty etc. They feel like everyday is a struggle and as if their heart has been ripped apart but they still go out, do their work. And yeah they do hope for reunion.

TF are NOT married to other people.

Please dont buy all those bullshit articles or stories.

Anyways you seem like a practical guy so I can count on you that you won't fall into this trap.

But yeah you two could be true soulmates.

[Asker]

I had a really weird dream today. I saw her walking around in a mountainous area with people near her. And then I saw us crossing each others path and our bodies just went through each other in the crossing. I didn't see anything else. I just saw we met at a crossing and our bodies merged through.

I dunno what it means

[Doncastar]

Hmmmmm. Crossing each other in path means meeting? And you say you guys crossed through each others bodies? That's merging of bodies I suppose?

If you look at it positively then I guess you will be encountering each other very soon and probably banging each other which I won't be surprised if it happens too soon in the relationship because you were literally eye fucking her so leave her with you in a room and she's not in bed with you? Highly unlikely lmfao.

If you look at it negatively, then it's just the yearning and thats why you get these dreams?
Do you still get dreams regularly? @Lalalbby90 @Poppykate what do you think?

[Asker]

In this dream we came from opposite directions like eg she from east and me from west which is accurate in real life coz she's from east and im from west. it was just a grey road and we were coming with people. At a point we just came together and our bodies went through each other. Thats what i saw.
No not regularly. Had not seen her in dreams for 1 week. One i had but im side eyeing it coz i woke uo in the middle of the night and thought of her then went to sleep and had a dream so that was probably me thinking hence the dream.

I always had lots of gaps. Like in 5 months I saw her 29-30 times with gaps as long as 10 days without seeing her.

[Doncastar]

It could be true. Just be patient

[Asker]

Thanks. But i can't take it anymore. I am begining to believe all these dreams and signs are just a figment of my imagination and its impossible to ever see that 1 face again. Thanks for the response. I guess i will have to live with this pain and just move on. Its not real. And will never be.

[Doncastar]

Oh come on dont say that! If you guys are meant to ne then you will! Lmao these girls ran away lol but anyways dont lose hope. Keep living your life dont obsess over it but have at least 1% hope. You don't know the future ;)

[Asker]

No. I am fed up and so is everyone
Its better to accept the reality than believing in nonsensical dreams and so called signs or twins. How i wish i had never paid attention and left this university forever. Now im stuck till June the same month we met.
Anyways thanks.

[LalaIbby90]

Was MIA - studying and sitting for finals.

How’s it going man? Anything new?

[Asker]

Hi lalabby90. Yeah today I saw her. She is here. The situation doesn't look promising. I was stunned to see her. I guess she saw me too but she either doesn't like me anymore or didn't see me properly. she's probably forgotten me.

[Asker]

Coincidently i kept hearing of the month June when we met and her country and it got very frequent. And bam today she was there. But until she shows any sign of still being into me, i can't do anything.

I did see a dream of us meeting and our bodies through each other but I don't know. Maybe she just came here for something or what who knows. I can't talk to her until she shows some interest due to our history together

[Poppykate]

OMG! Yes! Just wave at her dude!

[LalaIbby90]

Omg! Exciting news!!! Did she see you?

[Asker]

I think she did but she looked away :/ she's probs forgotten me. Could be she didn't notice properly but it kinda seemed obvious that when we saw each otger from a distance she was looking straight and when saw me she looked by the side. Guess no longer likes me :/ she didn't look happy. I don't know if its just her face or her mood wasn't good but yeah

[LalaIbby90]

She may not have noticed. Trust me sometimes people ‘look at someone’ but they’re not really there , they’re thinking. She may have been deep in thought while looking around and she may not seem happy for a lot of reasons (uni stress, work, family, not seeing u or being together). Man!! After all those months and you didn’t goooooo!! What is wrong with you, you would’ve at least went up to her and said hi better than a wave or just stare again!!! Come on!!! It was a huge shot for you!!! Like... I can’t believe that you didn’t go up to her *face palm *

[Asker]

How can i go without her showing any sign of still liking me? :/ I can't just jump on her. When i saw her i was stunned and she had a friend around but was busy in her phone with a very serious face, sitting in the corner of the entrance of our cafe. Then she just looked to the side on seeing me so I didn't do anything. And as i left towards the library i heard her friend join her. What could i do :/

[LalaIbby90]

If she didn’t see you that’s a good thing but you still had a massive opportunity right there to walk in and say hi causally. I guess talking to her is still an issue :/

If she did see you and you didn’t say hi, then she’s going to think YOU are over her :/

[Asker]

It seems other way though. Could be she didn't really notice but it looks bad. I think she's forgotten me and since we had things going downhill before parting, maybe she's over me :/

Unless she isn't as per my dreams. I did see us talk in my dream today but could be wishful thinking resulting in dream

[LalaIbby90]

Can we like acknowledge that your dreams of seeing her come true!!! Like you fucking saw her!!! Your dreams mean something.

I don’t know how the hell you two are going to Em do up together if she’s stubborn of not admitting it and your shying from talking scared to approach... like I don’t know how... but it seems like you two are fated

[Asker]

Fated? How? Before seeing her again i kept hearing and seeing June everywhere. The same month we first met. I just need a welcoming sign. Given our history, she won't be my friend cuz of all the past sexual tension. Its hard being friends with a person you want romantically

[LalaIbby90]

Because you kept dreaming of a reunion and something kept telling you you’ll see her and YOU did! Like that is wow , you weren’t even sure if you’ll see her this sooooooon!
What’s a welcoming to you?
And how u know she won’t be it Friend, that’s a quick judgement?
It is hard being friends but it’s a STARTER, friends then lovers?

[Asker]

Like yes but i dunno if the confession plus thread will come true or not :/

At least one look and smile like she used to give before. Thats sufficient for me to start. At least she won't feel she has an obsessed stalker

[Asker]

Is it a sign too that i keep seeing inter racial couples around?

However the situation doesn't look promising.

[LalaIbby90]

Why would she think she has an obsessive stalker? I don’t think you’ve done anything obsessively nor stalking?
If anything your giving her off vibes / not interestested or slightly cold (if she saw you at the cafe). Think of it from her end, she was rooting for something and nothing happened so it must’ve felt painful to come back to uni knowing you’re going to be there and all the memories you shared. It’s goinf to give her bad feels.
I don’t know it seems you both want each other but not just have issues. She seems stubborn in the sense she won’t confess from previous encounter and possibly this one. You have issues with talking. Like one of you needs to budge.
I don’t know if inter racial couples is a rare thing in your part of the world, it’s common here though. So if it’s not common then maybe and if it is , then maybe you’re noticing it because it’s somethifn that spring interest in you.
How did you feel when u saw her

[Asker]

She knew what we had. If she's over me she wouldn't like it. I could be totally wrong that she is over me. Because she seemed serious and she wasn't here for a month so I don't know what occured. Either she was not coming to the main building like me or something serious happened.
Coz I saw she was sitting in the corner and that seemed unlike her? She also left her friend halfway and was going herself until her friend caught up with her.

My friend told me to not make any assumptions coz it maybe she was bothered about something and it was not in the moment like you said too.

[Asker]

A similar thing happened when I met the person I asked about her. We ignored each other even though we saw each other but then when we came face to face he was so warm and we talk everytime we see each other.

From what I got she seemed over me. Who knows she's foumd someone :/

I was in shock. I was happy but controlled myself. didn't see her yesterday. Who knows what future holds for us. Dreams showed we would get together so I don't know.

Its common here either. The inter racial couples thing. But lately I am seeing quite a lot. And yesterday someone was talking about her program, the one she's studying

[LalaIbby90]

She knew what you had mate but she may be doubting every interaction you guys ever had. She may doubt if you really liked her. You will never know if she’s over you until you go up to her and say hi and talk. I’m not thinking much of the cafe situation she maybe going through a lot , we don’t know what’s happening atbuni or personal life added with the whole you not asking out that would have been devastating for her especially if she loved / liked you a lot. The uni would 100% remind her of you and being there without you is going to hurt unless she was made of steel. You also don’t need to play it cool or control yourself, it’s okay to show you’re happy to see her. She would love to see you smiling or excited at her presence, it makes girls feel fuzzy AND WARM. So if you hide it she’s going to think you’re not happy or don’t really care. Don’t be afraid to show her how you truly feel, I doubt she’s over you she may have lost hope tho

[LalaIbby90]

Inter racial couples are super cool!!!

[Asker]

There does seem something. I dunno when we meet again. I wonder where she was or if she was not coming here. Like doing her class then going away :/ similar to me :/ I feel we do share similar personality traits

[LalaIbby90]

What personality traits do u think u share?

[Asker]

Not being able to make proper move or shyness :/

[LalaIbby90]

Mhmmmmm... do you think you both hesitate and are both shy?

[Asker]

In aasking oit yes. Otherwise not really

[Asker]

Out, asking

[LalaIbby90]

It’s adorable That U guys are so shy around each other there but it’s not beneficial for either of u.. at least if you guys want to end up together. Jesus.
I don’t get why... she’s so good at talking but so shy to ask out... hmmmm... I wonder if she’s had bad experiences on last relationships

[LalaIbby90]

Past **

[Asker]

I just want one smile and at least some thing which makes it look open. she's cut her hair a little bit so I am thinking its a good starting point

[LalaIbby90]

How cutting her hair a good starting point?

[Asker]

I can ask her how she looks different now at least for starting the convo if she's willing

[LalaIbby90]

Ohhhhhh that’s such a good idea!!!

Well you’ll never know if she’s willing until you try? Even if she’s a little dry with you, it’d be normal coz you put her through heart ache.

But Trust me, if you really want her then you won’t give a fuck and you’ll ignore and try with her because at the end of the day if we really want something we won’t gicr up on it. A little bit of a frown or cold or dryness from her end and you give up? Then you don’t really want her

[Asker]

I dunno why she doesn't come or came to the main building :/ i wanna talk but she's apparently just doing her classes and running away. Why :///

[LalaIbby90]

She’s avoiding you.
clearly she hasn’t forgotten you nor what u put her through
She doesn’t want to experience that pain again nor does she wanna see you and risk hurting again
She’s hurt and she’s avoiding U
This is 98% prediction as to why a girl would do that

[Asker]

Yeah i felt so. Even that day she was sitting in the corner. Looking all brooding and serious. I don't know how we will be normal again. I m praying i get her alone so that we can talk.

[Asker]

But what if a boy is doing this too? Not showing up at all

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah well you can go up to her even If there’s a friend around or “accidentally bump into her” or wave at her and smile. Anything to get her attention. BECause clearly she’s hurting and hasn’t forgotten all you’ve shared. So you have a shot. Even if she’s no longer interested which I fucking doubt, just talk! I can’t tell you what a guy would do, you’re the guy you’d probably know best :/

[Asker]

Do u think we will get together? :/

[LalaIbby90]

If you didn’t have the talking issue I would say you’d be together already no doubt!! The only barrier is communication, your shyness and nervousness. You need to build the courage to talk to her. I guarantee once you build that courage and talk to her you’ll soon end up together. With the level of attraction sexual tension and feelings you had for one another and clearly both are affected by that loss , all you two idiots need is a room where you can sit with no one around and for you guys to chat and be free an express how u both feel. She’ll be swooning and you’ll be feeling like you’re on cloud nine

[Asker]

True this!!! Thats what we need but she's running :/

[LalaIbby90]

She’s not running as much as she’s avoiding colliding into you. She’s probs afraid of awkwardness, rekindling of feelings, feeling a mix of pain but attraction to you. She’s probably wouldn’t even know how to act ‘’normal” around you given your history. She’s afraid. And it’s normal. If she’s avoiding you chase!

[Asker]

But how? I dont see her. I saw her in my dream today just a picture of her in my dream. I dunno when we shall meet and talk properly. I get it. I was avoiding too and I dont sit in that place anymore but come on :/

[Asker]

Plus it could she's over me so she doesn't want to meet me. But I don't know. With my dreams and all these signs do u think she's exoeriencing these too?

[LalaIbby90]

Look it’s likely she is. We won’t knkw for sure but it seems like she’s broody and upset. This breakdown you had maybe because like the girls once explained that you felt her pain. She may be the sensitive type, who knows. Maybe she feels things deeply. It’s been what 4 or 5 months and she seems down. Clearly she had love for you. And deep down probably still does. Maybe she’s given up hope but if that chance comes knoscking onher door I doubt she’d say no to you

[Asker]

Yeah strange how she didn't come even for once. Remember you said we are bonded? Do u still think that?

[LalaIbby90]

I suspect so, like I think you’re meant to be for each other. But that doesn’t happen without any side not budging. You guys really needed to work on expressing how you both feel. One of you needs to make a move. Think about all the precious time you two are wasting waiting for the other to “show a sign of interest”. Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she’s “waiting to see a sign from you so she can make a move” . Like who knows what she’s thinking, maybe the thinks you moved on or have a girlfriend now and is deciding to avoid because it’ll be too hurtful to know you’re with someone else

[Asker]

I just wish we meet where nobody can interfere and im ready to tell her everything. I guess i ll have to be patient and wait for the fateful day when we see each other again and talk. There are misunderstandings and it needs to be cleared.

I hope we are meant for each other. I mean the way we met, the dreams, the signs etc

[LalaIbby90]

Like meet here where nobody is around like her friend and your friends? Not around classmates?
There’s definirelt a lot of misunderstandings between you two, ones which would be killing her and probably killed her self esteem. They definitely need to be cleared or she’s going to move on with life thinking you never really loved her or thought of her as a potential girlfriend. Just someone who was good at staring for the time you were there and that’s it. That’s an ugly way of leaving it

[Asker]

The first time we talked there was just 2 of us and both of us were quite comfortable. I hope we get that opportunity again. Because without talking properly, just the 2 of us, it will never change

I dunno how this will occur. she's not coming here and i dunno if she will talk to me.
My gut feeling surprisingly says yes but until we ralk and we are together, i ll never be truly happy.

That confession and thread dream, i dunno how thats gonna happen. But im not giving up the opportunity if it comes. I pray she's still into me.

I have no clue why she never showed up here and suddenly appeared that day.

I think i saw her in my dream today too but i can't remember as its so faint.

[LalaIbby90]

Well can’t you pull her to the side at uni when you see her if she’s with friends? Because not everything works the way we want them to where you’ll see her magically alone. Like go up and say “hey how are you can I talk to you for a second a lone?” And go from there

[LalaIbby90]

Also 99% she’s still into you and you never know she may never be happy if she doesn’t get the chance with u

[Asker]

No i can't :/ this uni is too different and its pretty small and has gossipy people :/ plus she seems like the type of person who would get angry or mad if I said anything in front of her friends :/

[Asker]

I hope she is. I just want us together but lets see. So far her avoiding game is strong. Or whatever is going on. :/

[LalaIbby90]

Y u reckon she’ll get mad?
Plus what was that dream picture about u mentioned earlier?

[Asker]

She doesn't seem to like attention in this situation publicly. She will probably not want me to come to her in public because she never made a move until we were alone.

I can't remember properly but todays dream included something which was related to her and day before yesterday I saw her photo in my dream.

[LalaIbby90]

Do u have an idea why she only made a move when you guys were alone? Any thoughts or theories?
And ahhhh interesting were you like looking at her photo in the dream?

[Asker]

I was always with people of my campaign so i guess she wanted to chat privately. Can understand coz I wanted the same.

Yeah it was just a photo and I had it appear in my dream and again today there's a custom in her country and its on so many billboards here and coincidently I keep seeing these.

[LalaIbby90]

Oh yeah I remember you saying that she didn’t want others to know, maybe because she doesn’t want people to know unless it’s official. Too bad your mates know already 😂 little does she know. Seems like she may not have told anyone if she was like that not wanting others to know

[Asker]

Saw her in dream again. I wonder if she experiences these too. I'm so tired now. I just want everything to fall into place. What is this connection between us. :/

[Asker]

A friend of made fun of me saying how we acted and the kind of attraction we had/have (if she still has) he would see her pregnant every year and then joked that we would be like rabbits :/

[LalaIbby90]

What does your friend mean? What is he saying?

[Asker]

He was implying about us being too touchy with each other if we got together and was laughing about it.

[LalaIbby90]

Touchy as in sensitive or walking on eggs around each other?
Or touchy as in so much sexual tension that if you guys got together you wouldn’t stop touching each other and jump like rabbits?

[LalaIbby90]

Hump *

[Asker]

Yeah that jump on each other like rabbits. Thats what he was saying

[LalaIbby90]

I’d hate to agree with this friend... but I think there’s a lot of truth behind what he’s saying.
Like with everything that you’ve mentioned I’m sure both ends are sexually frustrated so if you guys talk and let’s say end up together... I wouldn’t be surprised if you guys slept with each other from like the first date... but hey nothing wrong with that?

[LalaIbby90]

Just to like get it out of your system from both ends y’know

[Asker]

Well that is true coz both of us couldnt even stop staring as strangers so being together gives more access.

Hm but I hope we get the opportunity. I mean with all these dreams and signs coming on surface, it does seem likely but yeah I'm being patient. she's expertly avoiding run ins so only a face to face encounter can help coz we really need to talk.
Unless she refuses to recognize me or talk to me.

[LalaIbby90]

Exactly. You guys couldnt take ur eyes of each other, clearly there's attraction and it seems like there was a lot of sexual tension, pretty normal to be 'rabbits' like ur friends describes. Not the best description, but it's sex but what you guys have is also more than just sex from what u said. sex is just one element to this whole thing.
i doubt shell refuse and i think deep down u know she probs won't refuseto talk to u
she may seem angry or upset or dry and she may not we don't know
but what we know is her feelings and attraction to u was strong and it was mutual and you guys need to talk it out
what would u say to her?

[Asker]

I tried to think logocally that if she was not longer into me then she would not avoid me. Like who cares what i would feel. She would be normal. Her not showing up at all either means something is going on at either uni, that she's gone from here and came that day for some work or its me she's trying to avoid and that probably means she still likes me?

I would just say hello and ask her how she is, compliment her on her hair then if she's reciprocating then ask her out for the evening or weekend whichever she's free. If she's willing to talk more then ask her for her no.

[LalaIbby90]

Avoiding ironically is a good sign because it means you’re still on her mind and you still mean something to her. To avoid those feelings and thoughts she avoids you. It means you still have power over her heart

[Asker]

I'm not sure. It could be she came from her country to visit her friends and so came to uni and now she's gone hence i didn't see her. Its been a week and i haven't seen her. I doubt she would avoid me so much. She has been to this country before but yeah it doesn't add up why she would come to see friends when she didn't turn up for graduation so maybe im being stupid but yeah it is possible. :/ i feel very hopeless. If she's here and keeps avoiding then no chance and if she was just visiting then no chance again. I'm on the losing ends on both ways.

[LalaIbby90]

If she’s avoiding it’s for a good reason. Like she’s hurt

[Asker]

I saw her in my dream. We were in bed. I can't remember if it was sexual but first I saw her around with friends then we were talking and we were hanging together in bedroom and some other places.

I don't know she needs to face me. Only then we can talk and apologize.
she's just refusing to bump into me. he needs to grow up :/ its not just her whos hurt :/

[LalaIbby90]

Mhhggmmm... how can she face u when she did once and u ignored her? Like that’s going to send any girl flying the other way fearing rejection / embarrassment. She like I don't know put her self out there I guess gave u all the signs “please ask me out” and... nothing + ignoring. I don’t see her facing u as an easy thing. It’s a bit dry of you “she needs to grow up” because anyone can say the same about u... especially that ur the guy. Like some people (excuse me for saying it) May call u balless. I don’t want to be rude but I can see it from her side. Maybe because Imma girl but I don't know, i seriously don’t think it’ll be easy on her. If I were to scale it , id say she’s more hurt than u

[LalaIbby90]

You just have to see it from her perspective and no time blame... :/

[Asker]

But I'm only saying this coz i wanna talk. How can we ever get together if this is what keeps going on :/ We both were wronged so at least she needs to give a chance instead of just running away. Unless she was gone and was only visiting:/

[LalaIbby90]

You need to give her a chance too so when u see her at the library or cafe or grass area or whatever it is , who gives a shit who is around her, go and say hi. Muster the courage to approach her and she’ll get hopeful again and guess what? She’ll be giving you attention and those love eyes again

[Asker]

she's not coming to the common area :/ I don't know whats wrong. I felt it was her 3 days ago studying in the common room but i couldnt tell. Im really frustrated :/

[LalaIbby90]

Well ur not with her and you want to be that I say would cause frustration. What have ur friends said, like ur flat mate and that Japanese girl? Have I told them I saw her

[LalaIbby90]

Have u told them u saw her *

[Asker]

Ya i told them. My japanese friend is spiritual so she said to be patient and let things go. She said we are fated and the day we are fated to talk it will only happen that day.
I'm feeling terrible. Want her so much but look how its going. I can't see how the confession dream will come true if this goes on :/

[LalaIbby90]

What ur other friend say?
I agree with Japanese friend but I guess deep down your afraid if ur not fated and that something could’ve happened if either of u had the courage to admit how I felt about each other.. right? Or am I way off LoL

[LalaIbby90]

U felt about ***
Fucking autocorrect

[Asker]

He said she's visited the uni and won't come :/ he's said there's no reason why she wouldn't be seen at all and only 1 time a month :/ I don't know its strange tho. I'm getting negative vibes :/

[Asker]

Plus before we crossed paths remember i told u i had thiz crossing paths dream and signs, now i dont know why but i see June (the month we met) A LOT these days. Its like everywhere on videos, on articles, even some tweets related to June. I also see this reunion word and yesterday I borrowed a book from the library and while checking the chapters, one coincidence occured that out of all nationalities, her country was mentioned in the book abd that book was on writing 😲 I don't know what this is pointing towards. I did see reunion a lot before i saw her last week.

[LalaIbby90]

Why negative vibes? Losing hope?
And seems like your ante is not as optimistic as Japanese Friend.
It may be signs espcdcially if You saw reunion and then u saw her. I wonder if she gets signs or dreams , like it’s a total mystery. She is a total mystery because we don’t know how deep she feels things, what her thoughts are, if she’s deeply hurt, if she sees signs or dreams... like it would be so interesting to know

[LalaIbby90]

Mate is not **

Also do you get any positive feelings if you dream about her, or I don't know think about her or see people who look like her? Because you can focus on that positive side

[Asker]

Yeah right. I really want to know if she experiences the same things. I still remember our eye locks. U know both of us fell silent when we saw each other and the way we looked into each others eyes was as if we loved each other so much even though it was just 2 weeks!

Losing hope coz I dont see her. My friend was shocked when I told her then she asked me to be positive. There was a lot of political commotion yesterday at college kinda expected to see her but no sign :/

I feel hopeful after the dreams. Tbh it makes me feel we will be together but how and when I don't know :/

[Poppykate]

You need a hug! 🤗

[Asker]

@Poppykate most of the dreams I see come true but I don't know why ours isn't coming true :/ i think she's really not here and has left :/

[Poppykate]

Ohhh... since she is a member of staff, she might still turn up.

[Asker]

@Poppykate she isn't a member of the staff

[Poppykate]

Ohh.. that’s sad! 😔

[Asker]

there's absolutely no sign of her :/ I'm probably hoping for something that will never occur. I dont get it how I see these dreams about random stuff and it comes true but our face to face dreams dont.

Maybe I should just leave this :/ if she loved me she would come for me but she doesn't. Kinda proves she doesn't care for me at all now. I dunno why i keep seeing June (month we met) and her religion everywhere. Even her uncommon name popped up once. Honestly maybe I should forget whatever happened. Clearly she doesn't remember or care :(

[Doncastar]

I am sorry you have to go through this. Maybe she's not here? Or maybe she's someone who is too wrapped up with study plus work?

However I would go with fate. All you have described seems to point towards fate. You guys were non existent to each other for 2 months until you guys met. Then this whole campaign occured and you guys developed a bond.

Then you had dreams and once again after 4 months you s cross path.

Tell me how is this not fate?

You guys seemed fated from the very begining. I doubt its her not caring for you. I truly think its fate. U gotta wait for the fateful day again. Its all planned. You guys are acquaintances. You aren't strangers anymore. You guys had the attraction. Now the only hindrance is communication.

I believe U guys will come face to face only when its destined or say fated. Like U guys saw each other for 2 weeks but you spoke after that. Its all fated.

I think that way. Because your case seems that way. I know U feel upset and fed up but trust

[Doncastar]

This June and religion and stuff is sort of what u call synchronicity. It shows up because it is linked to you guys. That was the month u discovered affection for each other. Of course it will crop up if you are fated. It could also be that this meeting and everything was a foreshadowing for the future.
Go with the flow and see what happens.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar completely agree with all u said.
@asker you guys are fated and care for one another and the attraction is there. There’s love between u 2, but communication between u 2 sucks :/

[Asker]

But whats the point. How long do I wait? Our next term begins in Jan. After 16, its a 3 week holiday. I never see this girl and it drives me crazy. I got dreams , 3 where we came face to face and in 1 we were talking but its just not occuring.

The other stupid dreams of me seeing a famous person and some guy (who is gay and likes me) walking around came true.

I'm tired. We just need each others nos and talk properly. It is sufficient for now. When we come back from hols we can go on dates. But look :/

[Asker]

How do you think we are fated? :/ nothing is happening :/ the distance remains :/

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 why dont you try?

@asker I explained why already

[Asker]

Let it be. I have no energy anymore. This girl clearly does not care about me. This is not fate. Fate brings people together and brings love. Not put someone through torture. If we were fated we would be together by now. That is a soulmate. Not this.

I have do many courses to do and no longer want her. The grief I went through and am going through even as I write this is unbearable

It is so wrong lead someone on then retract back and act like you dont exist. I knew the day she saw me and turned her face away.

She must really like hurting people. This is not fate or soulmate. It is just pain and I dont know how long I will carry this. Tell me girls, how can a soulmate treat u like this? If she's here, how come she's so in "love" and we are "fated" that she never wants to see me even for once?

I keep yearning but she turns her face away and doesn't to see me.
We aren't fated. Its a vicious cycle and my dreams were obviously fake.

[Doncastar]

hey dont say this :) pls remain calm. I'm really sorry to hear this. Well if u no longer want her then its ur decision :)

I honestly have nothing else to say. It is painful when the other person gives no consideration of your feelings. If u wish to remove her then by all means do it. U obviously dont believe. Dony blame u. If i was going through this shit I would do the same.

I would still say pls remain patient. I still think u guys are fated. Its not her doing its fate. But its all to u @asker. U sound like u are begining to hate her as u ve started calling her "this girl" .

But hey its fine. I can understand u are in great pain and being denied feelings, after all these signs, is making u mad.

I'm really sorry and i hope u guys find each other. Pls even for 1% lets say till January end give a shot. If nothing happens then move on. Im so sorry for u :(

@Lalalbby90 @Poppykate

[LalaIbby90]

Wow so much hate on your end @Asker. Suddenly it’s her fault? That she’s played you? Played with your feelings? Lead you on? Purposely wanted to hurt you? Doesn’t care about you?

Wow. That’s a lot of assumptions and lot of judgement towards this girl. I’m just stunned to be honest. Given the context, there are many reasons why it’s the way it is.

And it has nothing to do with her leading you on. Or her liking to hiet people or not care for you.

Look that may be the case if she’s a bully or a bitch, but she didn’t sound it because you said sweet? Unless she’s so good at faking then yeah all you said is true.
But my two scent would be, you’re hate is taking over and clouding our judgment. The finger should be pointed at both of u. Sorry mate but you can’t dump it all on her and make up “lies” inyour head to move on. But as @Doncaster said if u want to move on then that’s ur choice

[Asker]

Ok im sorry i was very upset and mad yesterday :( imagine going there every day and always retuening home alone and sad :/ I feel terrible. Tell me how are we fated if nothing brings us together?

[Asker]

I dont hate her and can never. But my dreams of us coming together aren't coming true. It looks like it was all just fake. Only 8 days of school left zo tell me hpw long should I believe and hope we are fated when nothing brought us together?

[Doncastar]

Answer these
Why did you two meet and developed a bond? Surely there are other hot guys snd girls so why just you two?

Why did you keep having dreams?

Why some of your dreams related to her came true?

Why did you two CROSS paths again?

If its not fate and nothing is gonna happen then life was just giving you signs for no reason? Just to see each other briefly then go away forever? For that it played on so much like dreams and signs? Nah, DONT FUCKING BUY IT.

There is a reason. Sure it IS FRUSTRATING @ASKER but I dont think its just a random incident. Cmon @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

I dont know. You all think we are fated so i think u can explain better

[Asker]

Hey guys. Thank u for all your help. I'm lucky i had such nice people who tried to uplift me but this is the end. She moved on. I had no class today but went to finish my assignments today.

Everything was ok until in the evening two guys arrived and sat down beside me and if i heard correctly one of them took her name. I am not sure but it was definitely her name (only she has that name in the college) as that made me turn around and look at that guy who left sensing i was listening. He was raving about how thats how he's getting to know her and attracted.

She really played me. I knew she didn't like me anymore when she turned her face away on seeing me. Here each day I hoped and went through hell hoping and waiting but this is what i got. She forgot everything so quickly. I got cheated by everything. The only thing she is doing is not being around otherwise that would break me seeing her with this guy.

I dont know what to do. I feel like someone put a knife through me

[Doncastar]

Omg im so so so sorry to hear that! Hugs to you @asker!

Cannot believe my ears. Are you 100% sure it was her name? Maybe u heard wrong. i hope and pray you heard wrong!

Even in this dark time i would contradict u. If she did not care about you she would flaunt or at least hang around with that guy. You say you never saw her. Hows it possible unless she's hanging out after class? Yeah i know u mentioned secretive but why isn't she coming to the main area as u say if there's nothing worth caring for u?

Plus this guy is raving but is she? How can u be so sure she's feeling the same? I bet she's not! This guy got charmed by looks! But how is he getting to know her when he's studying with her he must know her for 2 years? If he's first year she can't get to know hier coz they dont share class? Unless he's taking a year 1 or 2 module?

I really hope u heard wrong! Im sorry. Hugs to you.

[Doncastar]

@asker plss respond. Tell me what name you heard. Cmon

[Asker]

It wasn't her actual name. Her name is pronounced differently and the one this guy used was more masculinish type but i corelated it coz on her familys posts, i had seen her grandma call her that but her grandma had also called everyone with names with an A at the end. So i thought this guy was talking about her.

[Doncastar]

U clearly reached. Why would a guy call her with a masculine version of her name when he's chatting with his friend? Grandma pronouncing it is different. Cute nicknames between couples is different. Addressing her in a masculine name in a private conversation between two friends is another thing.

Pretty sure he was talking about some other girl. Otherwise he would have used the exact name. And again like I said, if she's happy and thriving with new guys then why isn't she coming around? Who the fuck cares what you think if she doesn't care?

Also lets assume in worst case he was talking about her all while butchering her actual name taking it from feminine to masculine. Sounds like he's fascinated. Not her.

[Asker]

I was actually looking her up in the schools system like typing her name and all in between when they came and the moment it sounded like hers and he said thats how he's getting to know her i turned and then was like did he call her that what his grandma called him.

[Asker]

*her sorry

[Doncastar]

So let me get it straight.

You were looking her up online and then some random person comes up and takes a name similar to what her grandmother did in her post?

Coincidence much? Way too many coincidences right!

by the way stop doing this. Dont get too warped in emotions that you throw logic and common sense out of the window. Also when u get together, u need to understand that the person u love will always have admirers since she's beautiful. Any guy or girl starts fantasizing when a pretty person becomes friends. doesn't mean they like each other.

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 you are more adept at this. Pls help him out

[Asker]

We will never get together. I am withdrawing from college. The whole problem is because of me going through and expecting. When i leave , i will be much better. I cannot cope. I cannot spend 6 months here.

[Poppykate]

I don’t think that you should quit. This is your future? Can you defer for 6-12 months? Maybe you could get some work experience in this time, and then come back. Maybe you could transfer to another college. Move, get a different perspective on life. When I was younger, I thought I met the love of my life. It was painful, studying and working at home. So I move to a small college town, 10 hours drive away. I soon learnt that I couldn’t escape my own thoughts and emotions, no matter how far I traveled. but it was a good college, in the country, with fresh air, and I would need to take long walks to get to class. So it gave me time to think about things. Before making such a big step, look at your options. Good luck. 👍🏼

[Poppykate]

That was supposed to be ‘This is your future!! ’

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker The whole library situation was just your emotions clouding your judgements. I think there’s two possibilities in this scenario: 1) The guy was referring to her, sounds like he’s fascinated by her looks and he’s trying to look good in front of his friends by saying “they’re talking” which could mean absolutely nothing platonic talk. Many guys do this with their mates to look good but really nothing is there. 2) The guy was referring to someone else and because at the time you were searching her up, you confused things and automatically linked the situation to her and emotions went crazy, no longer able to think str8.
If this girl did not give a shit about you. She’ll come to where you are, walk with confidence and not give a flying fuxk about your existence. If anything she’ll give you eyerolls and the cold shoulder. The fact she’s avoiding you big time is because she still cares, she still feels things and she’s hurting. You’re angry and frustrated by it all. She may be too.

[Doncastar]

Thanks. I hope u are right. I felt the same maybe I misheard because its happened that I heard people say my name when they actually didn't.

Her non existence makes me so sad. If she's still sad then she looked away from me that day because of that? I'm dying to talk. I want to clear everything.

That is true. If she's indeed studying here she wouldn't care. I don't know I'm so tired. Feel lime half of my energy is sucked.

I saw her in my dream yesterday basically looking at her eyes and the shades of brown. I don't know what this means or what. I hope I just blew up the library situation.

I have to stay here for 6 months and I truly cannot see her with someone else.

[Doncastar]

Why deleted?

[Asker]

I didn't. U just copied my inbox message but anyways ok

[Doncastar]

Sorry. But explain the dream and things yourself as it couldnt post all the message as its more than 1000 characters

[Asker]

@doncaster already ppsted my message but again i will say i really hope i just blew up as i was searching her and this suddenly came up.

And i did see dream of her eyes. Shades of brown. Dunno what that means.

However if she kedps avoiding how on earth will we end up together?

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe it’s ur brain remembering when you guys eye locked? Does she have brown eyes? If she does then yeah maybe you’re yearning to stare deeply in her eyes or your brain is remembering the times you did?

You guys will. But it requires guts or balls. Either will work. Just requires a hell lot of courage. That cafe situation was an opportunity that was slipped. You may have another run in. If you let it sleep again, sadly you would’ve had 3 chances and you chose to be afraid.
You’ve already had two slips so... it’s aboit building courage and not giving a flying fuxk about anyone around you or her

[Asker]

How are you so sure though? We only have 6 days left begore winter break? :/ and she's not around with her friends, potential lovers, old friends. Nowhere at all :/

[Asker]

Yeah her eyes are orangey brown types

[Asker]

I always wonder about her eyes being light or dark brown so could be. I do yearn to see her eyes.

[Doncastar]

Agree with @Lalalbby90

[Doncastar]

Dude what is your personal year? In 2018?

[Asker]

2. But how is it related to our faté? And lalabby90 please tell me how u are so sure we will come together? Is it ur gut? Intuition? Or u are rooting for us?

[Doncastar]

Because 2018 is 11/2 year. Universal year. Your personal year is no 2. I have a theory.

2017 was your year 1. The year u met each other. New bonds were formed. New beginnings.

2018 is year 2. Year of partnership, peace and relationships. Esp romantic.

What my theory is that in this year you guys had a stepping stone. Like you found each other and were attracted. So there's HISTORY between you two. You know each other. No longer strangers.

In year 2, it is highly possible u could get together. There is nobody at your college whom you love as much as u love her. The year of relationships can bring you two together.

I think this whole meeting and separation, the dreams and signs are foreshadowing your union.

This is my theory. Plus 2018 is universal. So powers of 2 year are more potent than a regular year 2.

What do you guys think? @Lalalbby90 @Poppykate

[Poppykate]

@Doncastar I like that! 👍🏼

[LalaIbby90]

@Akser I do believe in fate but I also believe we have a decision to sway fate.
So you two may be fated with everything you’ve encountered. But fate won’t serve things on a silver platter. Things will happen like you guys meeting each other, being attracted to one another with no explanation, developing feelings and running into each other from time to time. That’s fates play. But for things to happen, people need to move. Need to initiate. Need to face their worries or fears. Meaning you need to talk, approach and say something no matter where it is or who is around. Then fate will play its role by things happening and things moving along. You guys may be fated but you can also be the reason of blocking things happening

[Asker]

I don't know. Its bizzare how she doesn't use the library, come to see anything. How ks it possible? It could be she's in the city doing internship? Becausw a complete absence from uni because of me? I find it hard to believe. Yeah she didn't seem happy on seeing me last month so I don't know if she's deeply in love and hurt or holding grudges

[Asker]

I dobt know if i will ever see her again. I am desperate to talk. I don't know if she feels that. Wish we could talk one on one because thats whats required. Proper talk. If she's hurt and holdimg grudges I wanna make it up.

If she is here and truly forgot me and is enjoying life with new guys then why not come around? There is a loner girl whom i haven't seen since October becoz she is always alone but he has friends, was funny and playful. This attitude is different

[Poppykate]

Just hook up with the loner girl!

[LalaIbby90]

I’m so confused when did she see u? I feel like I missed out on important information. Didn’t you say that you saw her at a cafe but she didn’t see u? Or did something else happen where she saw u?

I’m going for really likes you and is hurt, possibly holding a grudge if she’s the type. But girls usually hold grudges when things don’t end well or are left stranded with no answers. So yes all 3. Loves u, is hurt, and possibly holding a grudge

[Asker]

The cafee situation. See i know we all tried to think she didn't see me but I'm sure she did. She was looking straight and saw me then turned her face away. It hurt.

But she definitely did as per my view. We were facing each other.

After that I never saw her. She came after the reading week so everyone thinks she's here, still studying but if that is the case, she purposely avoids.

I find it hard how she who is an international student doesn't need to use the library or meet up with her friends in the common room or bar here. I see many people after 10 days or so but she's never around.

If she's still holding grudges how will we get together? She might not even want to talk to me :/

Its selfish honestly :/ all she thinks is how she feels. No consideration for the other person :/

[Poppykate]

You haven’t approached her. Maybe she feels hurt!

[Doncastar]

You may deny but life has introduced you too for a big reason. I am 100% sure of this. Its no coincidence you met again.

[LalaIbby90]

Agree with @Doncaster and @Poppykate.

But you kinda do the same tho. Like when u saw her you disregarded her feelings of “well I left it badly back then maybe I should at least wave or something” but I did nothing and made her appear as tho she’s nothing? So I her lens she may be thinking you’re the heartless bastard.
Again this isn’t making her out to be the bad guy nor you. You both have communication issues U need to solve

[Poppykate]

@lalalbby90 I totally agree with you.

[Asker]

How could I wave at her when she already turned her face away? Its like you all just feel her feelings.

I didn't turn my face. I went in to talk. She sees me and immediately turns her face away. Whom do I wave to?

[Asker]

I'm always wishing to talk but she's always keeping away :/

[Doncastar]

Difficult situation I'm sorry. But I still abide by my beliefs. I do not think ypu guys just met and fell for each other only to be haunted by dreams which came true and you met again.

I hope in personal year 2 you two get together.

Its hard I know. When things aren't happening as you want it to be. But dont lose hope. Your dreams and the presence of this person signifies something potent.

[LalaIbby90]

I also stand by what I say. In order for things to happen you need to make a move. A bold one. One where you go up to her smile and talk. No matter how hard it is. You have to face your fears and build the courage. You’re standing in your own way.

Yes ur not seeing her now but you did see her at the cafe and nothing happened. That was an opportunity. You really need to buldge mate.

You can’t have results with no action. I can pray all day for money but I won’t have it until I do something about it

[Asker]

Do u think she's upset? Will she talk? And what so i say other than hi and how her hair looks now? And I dont even know when I will see her. she's never around and its painful :/ i hope he still loves me

[Doncastar]

Just say hi and smile big. Check her response. Then proceed on with how are you, whats going on with life. Hopefully the response will be positive.

I do hope you guys see each other soon and end up together. Its sad to see so much suffering :(

[Asker]

Can anybody tell me that since my dreams didn't come true except some useless ones, why do I still see the dates when we talked or met? Why do I hear of our country? Even my flatmate shared how he bought a lot of things at a store which has her countrys influence. He said he was sorry for mentioning that store but yeah. Only 2 days before winter break. I feel so restless and helpless.

[Asker]

And today there's probably a love bug floating around my college as there were whipped couples all around. Its so annoying 😠

[Asker]

I saw her today!!! But it was so dark that I couldnt recognise her and when I did she passed by me and yes she was looking at me!!! But she didn't say anything and im fucking slow!!!

But im still waiting around! Hoping she comes out and then I catch hold of her!

[Poppykate]

That’s so sweet! Fingers crossed for you! 🤞🏻

[Asker]

Unfortunately it started snowing and got extremely cold. She didn't come out though :/ had to leave :/ but when i noticed her i was on my phone until I just looked up and saw her looking at me. When we locked eyes she assumed her ego and walked off smh :/

[Doncastar]

I told u. U guys ARE FATED.

Dont beat yourself up though. As I said u guys will only talk when its meant to happen.

The good part is she WAS looking at you. She STILL has feelings for you. I'm honestly glad to hear this. The fact U guys had your eye contact after all these months, its GREAT.

How was the expression?

Small steps are needed. Have faith. I'm 100% sure U guys are gonna end up together very soon. After all U did see the holding hands+confession.

[Asker]

yeah I'm glad about that. I was going to go to a store and was lookimg at google maps and then when I looked up, I saw her. It was dark but after a sec I recognized her.
She was looking at me and kept looking until we both locked eyes then looked away and walked on. I wanted to call her back but she was walking fast and had reached up to a bunch of people who started talking to her.
I waited for a few minutes thinking woild stay but ut started snowing.

I had a dream weeks ago where we came face to face and had eye contact and I saw her stare at me 3 days ago in my dream. So i guess this is what manifested in reality.

Expression was neutral. It was not of hate or anger or disgust. It was normal. Just like it used to be.

[Poppykate]

Well done! This is great! At least you have seen her! And tried to approach her!

[LalaIbby90]

@asker WOOoOooooo!! I’m excited for you! Finally! At least something!!! Go you! At least both of you eye locked and stares. Not your fault for not approaching this time because she went into a crowd and it seemed like you couldn’t do anything. But seems like she still has feelings for you. But it seems also that she freaks out after you guys eye lock and that’s why she walked away fast

[Asker]

Hope still has feelings. Its cklear she does not hang out at uni. Her class was probably at 5pm and she came 15 minutes before 5pm. It was so unexpected. There were couples all around and just as I looked up, it was her coming through the way I come from. She was looking at me and we both had eye contact until she broke it and walked on. But yeah she did make contact with me and was also looking before when I was on my phone.

My dream of us having eye contact did come true but I wanna talk and just get together. It was dark but I wish we could have talked :/

Only a day left for winter break. I wanted to clear up the misunderstandings. But it doesn't seem possible :/

[Asker]

Also my japanese friend sajd a weird thing. She said that the day we met again, it was love in the air at my college. I saw lots of couples holding hands, kissing which is rare sight and she said its kinda foreshadowing that so much PDA was going on and we saw each other and exchanged looks/eye contact.
I'm not too sure about this but yeah that PDA all over the place was bizzare. Never seen so much here.

[LalaIbby90]

It may be foreshadowing! Who knows! Butttt it’s interesting that she still has feelings for you, remebers how you look and clearly still is affects by all of it. Tbh I was thinking about it and I think she was sussing our whether you remembered her or whether u still liked her. I think it was confirmed with the looks eye contact but I think maybe she may have been overwhelmed by emotion that she freaked out and walked away quickly. I don't know my theory at least

[Asker]

Ya i expected her to forget me but the fact that she kept looking kinda proved she still remembers my face! Which is strange. I don't know how it happened. As per my knowledge she has no pics of me. I had.
But yeah she kept watching me until she broke off the contact and walked past. I wished she stopped but no :/ I'm scared she may think i dont remember her ;/ but i looked too so i hope she's gotten the message I still feel for her :/

I guess i will see her after winter break. Wonder why she's never around. Seems like its done on purpose :/

[Asker]

She comes unexpectedly. How she remembers my face? What do u think?

[Doncastar]

Fucking shit! Was STILL LOOKING AT YOU!!! WOW!

GOD DAMN there's NO WAY SHE doesn't REMEMBER YOUR FACE!

@asker you are lucky. The fact she looked and you BOTH HAD EYE CONTACT AND CROSSED PATHS AGAIN ITSELF INDICATES SOMETHING SPECIAL BETWEEN U TOO.

There is a bond. That is for sure. So strange yet beautiful how 2 people coming from 2 DIFFERENT backgrounds, countries and lives bump into each other and the tale of synchronicity and bonding begins 😍

You guys talk but through eyes. I'm honestly happy for you!

If she didn't like u or forgot u she wouldn't even look at u. She wouldn't make any eye contact. The fact she did itself speaks volumes.

Clearly YOUR FACE IS ETCHED IN THE MEMORY. Otherwise without any pics and only memory, still watched u? Made eye contact? Nah its DEEP AF.

[Asker]

Experiencing very deep emotions. Its like my heart is full of love. Overwhelmed with love. But i feel i won't see her again or we won't end up together :/ negativity is also there. But i wonder how he remember my face. . I wish we meet again and I just spill my feelings. Hope it will be reciprocated because at this moment my heart is brimming with love

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 what do u think?

[Asker]

Really need help. What do u guys think she still likes me? Based on what our last encounter was?

[LalaIbby90]

It’s super cute that your heart is brimming with love. Not that I had doubt considering you’ve spent months talking on here about her and your nerves are crazy around her. But yeah spilling your emotions sounds like a plan but doesn’t seem like it comes natural or easy to you. How did you get with other girls previously the ones you’ve dated or hooked up with? How did you talk to them? How did you act around them? Give me great detail so I can know how to help! :)

[Asker]

I don't know why my nerves are crazy around her. I have always been fine with other girls. Just flirted and got with them. You know. It was not so much trouble. Being casual and the girls were eager too.

[Asker]

I only fear what she feels for me :/

[LalaIbby90]

So you’ve never had these nerves around any other girl? Not losing words and just not knowing what to do? You must’ve really liked a girl a LOT previously and she may have had the same effect on you? Or where the feelings not as strong compared to what you feel for this girl you like now?

And why do you fear her feelings? Like 3 girls on here are telling you she has deeeeeeeeeeepp feelings for you. She probs already imagined you guys married with babies (not even a joke) from everything uve described

[LalaIbby90]

Like out of all your exes which one did you think was hard to get? I’d like slightly challenging for you? I are you doubt about how she felt about you? Or was really pretty and made you doubt whether u should go for her? Etc.

[Asker]

They all were easy to get. You know being very open and chatty even if it was just hooking up. I am normally very open and chatty hence never had issues.

But the moment I saw her, I just lost it. I always thought I would talk to her but could never. I just could not build up courage. It was being super hard. I also couldnt keep my eyes off her.

[Asker]

Married with babies 😶 Thats cute honestly

I fear it becoz she didn't stop when we crossed paths last week :/ She kept looking and locked eyes but i wish she stopped :/

I am feeling so negative. I doubt if we will get together. In 3 months only saw her 2 times. 6 months to go with 3 month term time only then exams and finally finished. If I dont see her how will it ever occur? :/

Though did see the thread on finger and confession dream. Tbh only these 2 amd us talking dream hasn't come true. The rest have.

Plus i ve noticed that whenever we vome face to face, the synchronicity of June, her religion+country name and now PDA couples seem to increase a lot.

[LalaIbby90]

So the precious girls were open and chatty, and this girl is too right? Or is she not chatty like the other ones? How is this girl different to the previous ones, what about her makes her different? Is it okay the culture/ country /religion? Or are there more things about her that make your nerves jump?

[LalaIbby90]

Previous ***

[Asker]

Different background tho I dont care for that. She was shy it was obvious. And I was too desperate. Her no just put me off. Wanted her instantly :/

[LalaIbby90]

How were you desperate? And when did she say noo? What I am trying to do here is compare her to your previous girls because the more accurate picture I get about your interaction with the previous onwa, her characteristics compared with previous ones, I may be able to tell what may be the root problem or how one can help. Till now I can’t really tell how this one was different apart from different culture. Just think about it...

Wanting her instantly is not a crime! You were both shy in my opinion. You expressed it in different ways. You couldn’t talk and she couldn’t confess. That was the difference between you two. She couldn’t confess could be for many reasons that we don’t know of, she may scared shitlesss telling u how she feels and we have no idea.

[Asker]

That have we met before question. She said no we haven't met before. I got upset :/

I can't explain myself. All I know it was instant attraction at first sight. I couldnt keep my eyes off her. Maybe her looks was the reason. Though I knew she liked me. But I got so conscious and couldnt muster courage to even say a Hi.

I'm tired, hopeless and upset. I just know we crossed paths. We had our eye contact and she was looking at me until sge walked off and broke off contact. She clearly remembers me and thats what I'm glad about. Without having my pics, she still does ❤

But I want "us". :/

[LalaIbby90]

Honestly it’s a bit weird that you were so good at talking and flirting with previous girls and you can’t form a sentence with this one... like... mhmmm. Has she ever been bitchy to you? Showed off? Showed disinterest? I don't know... acted too cool for school? Things that may have made you lose confidence?

[Asker]

Nope never. She was also very nice and cute tbh. Well dressed but simple. Smiling and adorable looking and making eye contacts with me or watching me.

[LalaIbby90]

Seems likes she has it both then personality and face. What a rare thing these days. Right?

Okay... so when you first laid eyes on her. That very first time. She probably didn’t know you exist then. What was your first impression? In detail? Did you make assumptions and then later were invalid? What did you think she would be like? Did you think she would go for someone like? Did you think she was experienced? Etc. and what from the first impression turned out to be true and what from your first impression of her was false?

The only reason I’m asking is because it may have been ur first impression that really impacted how you dealt with her later on without you realising.

[Asker]

I didn't think of anything at all. All I felt was she was beautiful and I was immediately attracted. I just kept telling myself wow she's gorgeous etc.
Has a baby face so was even more attracted. I guess I have a thing for delicate looking girls.

When she started looking back at me, I got the sign she liked me but her not approaching me proved we hshare similar shyness. She was the same. Fun and talkative with friends and others but shy around me.
I knew she wanted to talk because she tried to smile at me and tried to keep up with my stares.

It didn't change anything though. she's still shy and cute. I thought she had a boyfriend but she always looked at me as if the world stopped for her. Her eyes would be fixed on me and had rather soft expression.

[Asker]

Even the first day we saw each other, we made eye contact and later on, I was standing right in front of her and I tried not to look at her directly because her friends were sitting around her but I did once snd saw that she kept staring at me.

[Doncastar]

Awww such a cute love story!

[Asker]

Stop joking. I only care about if she likes me even now but I don't know why u guys are taking things out of context and then dont even respond :/

[LalaIbby90]

Who’s joking sorry?
What are we taking out of context?
The only reason I haven’t responded is because I’ve been heaps busy and I’d rather not rush the response 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[Asker]

I'm going crazy tbh
My head is full of negativity. Giving me bad vibes and no to every question :/

Doncaster is probably joking. Ours isn't a cute love story. Its just tragic and sad.
I don't know if she still likes me. I don't know if i will see again. Or if anything will happen between us :/

[LalaIbby90]

You were full of love not long ago. You saw her not long ago. Why so negative? You’ve seen how you guys have bumped into each other, how she still feels for you so why so negative again?

[Asker]

I don't know why. I guess I have just lost all hope and faith. Considering I was rooting for us to happen but it didn't happen. I rarely see her. Its like once in a blue moon. I also got dreams where I keep searching for her at uni and just feel bad about everything.

[LalaIbby90]

Why do u feel bad? And about what?

[Asker]

Coz nothing happened and seems like it will never happen. I feel I am waiting for something that may never occur. I dont see her and probably won't. Maybe once in 3 months. And thats not possible for a relationship to develop.

Unless some miracle happens. I still get dreams about her but I don't know i dont have faith anymore :/

My personal year and lots of predictions about my sign indicates relationship and all but i doubt it.

She did stare at me and made eye contact but who knows what she's thinking. She didn't stop for a chat or anything :/

[LalaIbby90]

u feel bad that nothing happened and she probably thought something would? is that what u mean?
New dreams? Have you tried googling what your dreams mean if they're recurring?
Well I can tell you this if she's looking at you and staring, she still likes you. No doubt. If she looked at you and frowned or rolled her eyes then yeah she's bitter that you didn't do anything, but if her expression was soft, or one of lust or yearnig then deep feels right there

[Asker]

The June thing was circumstance but from October to dec I kinda expected esp after I saw her in Nov but yet again it was all the game of missing in action and stares.

She didn't roll or frown tho. Her expression was normal. Kept watching me and we locked eyes. Expression was normal. It was evident she recognised me. Because as she was coming, she kept looking at me till I looked up and we locked eyes. Then she looked away and walked on. I was sad but happy that at least she didn't look mad or didn't even look.

[LalaIbby90]

She was probably wondering if u remember her too. If you still feel for her. If you like her. Then she chickened out and ran away

[Asker]

She didn't run off. She just casually walked by. I got upset but was very happy to see her. But she always appears out of the blue! Completely unexpected!

Tbh all my dreams regarding her came true so i wonder how the confession holding hands will. :/

[LalaIbby90]

I don't know either tbhhhh butnif they all came true then my bet is it will become true. You don’t know. I don’t know. She probs has no clue.

But at the end of the day, you guys met. You fell for each other. You guys are both in pain. You think of her. She most likely does too coz she remembeeed u. So she’s still single, woo!

Meaning all u need is a confession. And that’ll happen. Make sure you kiss her hard tho when that happens because Jesus there’s alotnof longing on both ends

[Asker]

I hope she's still single. I do get fearful of what if she isn't and found someone else while I'm dying over here.
I know. there's so much longing :/ I wonder what will happen. I do know we stared at each other as if we were lost.

Its just that I feel less hopeful and more negative. But still have 1% of hope

That day when we met again this month, there were so many couples smooching and cuddling. Very rare at my uni

[Asker]

Longing on both ends? How so? I mean from her side how did u pick up? By our last encounter?

[LalaIbby90]

She’s obviously single man. If she kept looking until you guys stared at each other she’s 100% single. If she found a guy she wouldn’t look at you. That’s low. Unless she’s the type? She doesn’t sound it though..

Yearning on her end because she kept staring until you two eye locked meaning a part of her really wants you even after months being seperated. Part of her still wants to date you. Part of her wants her to be called yours.

[LalaIbby90]

Oh and don’t fret for a second that she probably fears that you find someone else and move on. Same thoughts and doubts run through girls minds. We fear that our crush would’ve found someone else and forgotten us so... she’s probably scared you’d find someone else

[Asker]

Yeah thats why I felt positive about that encounter. Though shortly after I sank into new found depression and sadness. I just wish my dreams come true. Even when I dont see her in my dreams, I am still looking for her in them.

The only prob is the rare sightings. Elusive.

I am also going to start the module on her religion from January and funnily the tutor wants us to be well read and prepared for the classes even before the term starts. I wish she knew I'm gonna study her religion and so on :/

[LalaIbby90]

I reckon she’s depressed too tbh. Both of you. Like everything that you two had experienced with one another is the sweetest thing and so romantic. But also depressing? Like from a girls POV, she’s most likely thinking after everything you two shared, nothing has happened. She’s probs losing hope too, she’s probably crying, she’s probs aching, she’s probs hurt. Before I told you she may have thought she’s eye candy and that you didn’t really think of her a girlfriend material, but after your encounter with her it seems like she knows you like her a lot and you didn’t think of as eye candy because she wouldn’t have stared at you if that was her belief. Deep down it seems like she knows how you feel about her but probably either confused as to why you’re not admitting it or knows your shy but she’s shy too. Is what I think.

Yeah I think she’ll be happy if she knew tbh. It may be something she finds cute or a turn on that your interested in things associated with her

[LalaIbby90]

Also there’s no doubt she’s day dreamed about you (can’t be sure about the dream part). But we girl day dreams about the guys we like. Depending on her personality her thoughts would vary, but it’s generally day dreaming about everything you guys shared and “fantasy” thoughts.

[Asker]

I did check my yearly stuff and all indicate relationship things but I don't know not sure :/

I know :/ it was beautiful. We both really could stare at each other for hours. It was special. Like she would be laughing and joking with friends and same with me and the moment our eyes met, both of us would go quiet and look at each other like we were going lost in each other.

I don't know when and how things are gonna end up. I just pray

[LalaIbby90]

You looking at each other always seems so intense?

If you guys get lost in each other then that’s pure attraction and deep feeling right there. It’s just both of you are so shy with each other but not with anyone else. Its either you both don’t have a lot of experience, or both of you haven’t dated for a long time, or you guys feel so deeply with each other that you guys become so self conscious of everything you do around each other. Seems like you both are very nervous around each other?

One of you seriously needs to outstep this shyness and just face their fears and need to just be honest about how they feel. Who do you think would have that courage you or her?

[Asker]

Yeah always. We never had a fleeting glance. It was always intensive. Both looking into each other. Esp me. Even if I would be in a conversation with others and saw her coming, I HAD to turn and look at her once. It was difficult. I was more blatant and she was more subtle but our eyes met always.

Yeah. Couldnt muster the courage to start anything. She did so I think she's capable but now even I'm ready

[Asker]

A friend mocked me saying if we do this before being official, he will have to suffer all night long if we get together since he lives next to my flat.

[LalaIbby90]

You guys have an intense passionate “relationship” that’s not official and no words.

Do u have thoughts or ideas or “theories” as to why she hasn’t asked you out or confessed her feelings is she seems capable?
Do what? Sleep together before dating?

[LalaIbby90]

If she seems **

[Asker]

I guess becoz of my behaviour. Otherwise if I hadn't resorted to ignoring her, we would be at least texting and talking. And on meeting, the kiss would have occurred.
When she came to talk to me I am sure she would go further. But I ruined it.

I think he meant after I start bringing her home which results after going on a couple of dates.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah she’s afraid now. She’s afraid she may ruin things I guess or be too pushy or come off as clingy. So she’s left the ball in your court and she’s happy to play the game and go with you. So if you make a move it seems like she’ll go with that but if you choose not to then it also seems like she’s gonna respect You for that despite it hurting her like a bitch probs. I really think she’s left the ball in your court and no game or moves where played on your end. So she probably knows you like her or crush on her or whatever but is assuming your 1/ not ready for a relationship possibly because you’re smart and focusing on your project 2/ not ready for other reasons maybe coz you’re getting over someone else 3/ something about her is making you stop asking her out 4/ knows your tooo shy and has picked up on it 5/ thinks you’re inexperienced and that’s why you can’t make a move.

Trust me when I say this, she’s thought about every possible thing that made u not as her out

[LalaIbby90]

And I agree with your friend. When you take her home after the first couple of dates, I don’t think a lot of conversation is going to be happening. I seriously imagine you two being out of a cliche romantic movie where the door is barely closed and you guys are already making out and there’s loud panting and banging. So yeah my thoughts go out with your friend, he will be suffering because I doubt it’ll be a one round when it happens the first time. I may be wrong but I’m guessing you’re both sexually frustrated because I’m pretty sure both of of you at least once has had the idea of sleeping with the other. Girls have thoughts too especially and often if it’s a guy they feel deeply for. So she’s already thought about how to make you happy 😉 but sadly for her it hasn’t happened

[Asker]

True :/ I just wish I saw her frequently. I think she prefers 1 on 1 coz the day we saw each other in Nov, she had a friend around and saw me and looked away but when she was alone, she kept looking.

I also still dont understand how she's always MIA if she's studying here. I see all of her mates except her and this makes it increasingly difficult.

Well I do admit I ve thought a lot of the fantasy things. But i dunno what to say at this point

[LalaIbby90]

It’s either coz she’s shy or she doesn’t want her friends to know for whatever reason. Maybe she doesn’t want to embarrass herself by people thinking something will happen and nothing does and she looks like an idiot, which is what kind of happened. She may be the type that will only say stuff if things are official.

You don’t have to admit it because it’s fairly obvious you both have fantasised about one another. It’s normal to want to sleep with someone you’re attracted to. Let’s hope she’s not trying to get over you by sleeping with other guys because I’ve seen a couple of girls do that to try and get over someone and guess what? Never works

[Asker]

I guess she would get flushed because she knew I was giving her love eyes because I couldnt stop staring and fiercely maintained the eye lock.
Yeah seems like it. I am fairly secretive myself so I kinda understand this.

I dunno whats going to happen. Do u really think we will get together? :/ Coz I'm literally hopeless

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah she seems shy with maintain eye contact or staring right into your eyes makes her super nervous and conscious. Maybe she’s afraid you can read how much she likes you? I don't know it sounds like she may be a confident girl but you make her nervous? Does that sound right to u? Or does she only become nervous with eyelocking? What made you lock eyes with her so fiercely, what gave you the courage?
It’s also super romantic. Because you said you’ve seen how some guys look at her and of all the guys she chose you. Nghawww!

When you saw her last was your look to her soft, confused, lovey or what?

[Asker]

Could be. She seemed quiet and docile type but was also laughing and chatting with her friends.
I stared at so much because of 2 reasons.
1) I was mesmerised and found her very attractive from the first glance itself.
2) I felt I would not be able to chat her up so I kept doing it in hopes she would come.

It was a mix of both. Wanting to stare at her and trying to send the message that I like her.

The last time I saw her I think my first look was completely unexpected and shocked then I kept staring and I am pretty sure she understood that I remembered and recognized too

[LalaIbby90]

Why didn’t you think u could chat her up? And what does chat her up mean to u?

I guess you’ve sent that message. I wonder if she was instantly attracted to you or your staring caught her attention and then she became curious and started to look back and was like “ooo his not bad”.

I’m surprise though for such an attractive girl, it makes me kind of have a lot of respect for her that she’s still single and still hung up on you in away. Like it seems like this girl has standards and won’t go for any guy and she’s willing to stay single if it means she hasn’t found the right guy. Because if she’s attractive I doubt it’s hard for her to get “any guy” but it seems like she won’t go for “any” she’ll go for what she thinks is good.

[Asker]

I was unable to build confidence. I just couldnt :/ Even when she came to me I kept looking at her hoping she would talk :/ Stupid me :/

[LalaIbby90]

But you’ve chatted other girls up in the last though? You’ve dated others. You’ve hooked up with others. You’ve talked to all of them normally. Except her? :/

[LalaIbby90]

Past *

[Asker]

I dunno what happened. I guess I felt about her differently. The others were very open and I didn't care so much. With her, I guess I cared too much. didn't want to mess any chance :/ and this cost me dearly :/

I have no clue if we will ever be together again :/

[LalaIbby90]

You’ve been saying “they were very open” what do u mean by that? in what way?
Do you feel like you over thought situations with her? Like you were worried you’d do or say the wrong thing and that’s why you would lose words or freeze up?
Was it that u got worried she may judge you or think that you’re not her type and completely ignore you?

[Asker]

Means they were very talkative and I could easily talk as they would give verbal hints they wanted me rather wuickly and since I didn't care much, I wasn't self conscious

Yeah i was. I was so captivated by her beauty that I felt she's perfect and would only hear perfect things and if I messed up, she would kick me off.

I knew she was attracted to me but I felt what if I fucked up and she thought I was an idiot :/

[LalaIbby90]

What kind of verbal hints did they give you that made it obvious that they wanted you? So curious to know, like what did these girls say that was so obvious?

So interesting coz u describe her as nice and submissive yet at the same time you got worried this girl would “kick you off” if she hears things that aren’t perfect. Like I feel like she can’t be both. She’s either a nice girl who isn’t judgmental and even if you happen to say something “stupid” she wouldn’t care and probably feel more at ease with u. OR she’s one of those girls who are pretty but are judgmental and will probably flick you off if they thought you’re weird.
I feel like for the short period you’ve known her, you picked up that this girl is nice but you also idealised her unfairly kind of. Like you came up with all these things in your head. Like she’s showing you she’s nice but in your head it seems like a part of you thinks she maybe an undercover bitch and she’ll judge you and she won’t bat an eyelash at you

[LalaIbby90]

If she got to know you well. Like a part of u was scared of that. Am I making sense?

[Asker]

No i mean I just felt she would reject me or think I am stupid and flip me off thinking I am stalking her or such. Even nice girls can turn down guys. I got so self conscious. I also felt that such a pretty girl would never be single until she started giving me her love eyes which built my confidence but then I was being stupid :/

[Asker]

Those girls would flat out say they would like to go home with me for the night or make gestures indicating something they wanted from me

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah you were overthinking every word or every love around her which made it impossible to just be casual and talkative like with the others. Seems like you regarded her highly and her opinion mattered a lot?

Yeah of course. Nice girls can turn down guys but nice girls won’t turn you down because you said something “stupid”. I don’t even know what kind of “stupid” you mean. But like unless you say something really nasty to her or say maybe something that’s rude then she wouldn’t causally flick you off because you won’t close the door on a potential guy you like because he said something weird but harmless. Get it?

You probably were so happy to know she’s single when she gave you love eyes!

Ah. I see. Those girls just got to the point. But those girls were wanting a hook up which is different to this one you like now. A hook up is so different than wanting to potentially be a long life partner

[LalaIbby90]

Every move ***

[Asker]

Yeah and it caused me a lot :/ If only I had the confidence I usually have :/

Now I dunno. I just feel like I lost all. I am simply pretty tired and dont even expect much.

I thought maybe it was a hook up thing for her after we separated but then again why would someone be so hesitant and self conscious and shy they only want to sleep with you?

[LalaIbby90]

Did you honestly think she may have only wanted to sleep with you, even just the slightest? Hmmm

What if she did suggest a hook up only or one night stand just before you separated, with all the feelings you have for her, would you have agreed? Why/why not?

[Asker]

Not really but I did look into it thinking but the way she acted, she wouldn't go to such lengths for a hook up and the fact she still remembered me and stared/made eye contact, it definitely wasn't.

I would tell her I love her and see more than a hook up. If she agreed then great. Otherwise I dunno. With all the crazy sexual tension, I'm not sure if I would resist the offer but would definitely tell her that for me it wouldn't just be 1 night thing.

[LalaIbby90]

From a girls POV, really doubt she wanted to hook up. Even if she was shy about being honest about the hook up, she would’ve made sexual comments or advances or gave you hints that she just wanted one thing. I doubt she did any of that. She seemed Iike by the sounds of it that she wanted you and by your last encounter that she still does, which is kind of sweet and romantic. It shows that she at least wasn’t just going through a lust stage, but did develop pretty strong feelings thats lasted months after separating.

Yeah it would be hard to resist the offer but at the same time it’s great you’re the type to be honest that it wouldn’t just mean a 1 night thing. That whatever it you two have is more than that. The thing is I doubt she would ever come up to you and actually offer to have just sex with you because of her strong feelings. It’ll just complicate shit on her end and if she’s that soft type, she’ll know she’s screwed once you guys do the deed.

[LalaIbby90]

I also find it hard that girl won’t tell anyone about how she feels about you. I know you said she likes 1 on 1 and she doesn’t like anything happening when others are around and she’s subtle and all. But I freakingdoubt there’s not one person she knows, doesn’t know about how she feels about you. Girls find it hard to just hold onto their feelings especially that long and tell no one. I’m pretty sure there’s atleasr one person who knows

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so. I ve seen her ignore me after things went downhill but this time she was actually staring and for the first time in months, we had our eye contact. I felt positive about it tbh.

There was never any sexual hints tbh. It was always u know either staring, trying to smile, trying to gain attention etc.

Yeah even think she must have told someone. won't be surprised if she did.

[LalaIbby90]

How was her eye contact with you though? Was it sad? Soft? Curious? Hurt? Happy? What was the expression on her face/eyes because it’ll be all telling about how she feels on the inside it would clue you in to how she’s been feeling.

Yeah someone knows. I won’t be surprised either. She’s a girl and I’m sure she told at least one person whether it’s uni friends or someone close to her. I’d be surprised if she’s that secretive and not a soul knows

[LalaIbby90]

Also congratulations on finding someone who is sweet and beautiful.

But not so congratulations on finding a tough cookie. She’s not easy man. She sounds like hard work. Which isn’t a bad thing. But she’s definitely not easy.

[Asker]

It was a mix of curious and soft? She kept watching me and it was thankfully not an angry or irritated expression. It was curious and as if she knew me and watched me. Then turned away and went on.

Its hard :/ I am not even sure even my dream is gonna come true or not. I fear if she found someone but then I think if did then why did he stare? Could have pretended didn't see me so yeah

[LalaIbby90]

She was likely curious to know if you still felt the same for her or if you’d forgotten her and everything that you guys shared together previously. It may be something she’s afraid of, that you’d move on. And her watching you with curious eyes was to see if you still had feelings for her. The soft bit I reckon is because she’s just seems like a sweet person. I doubt she hadn’t become angry or resentful at one stage hence why she ignored you when things went downhill but it seems like her anger and resentment doesn’t last long. It’s short lived and her feelings for you is greater than her disappointment that you hadn’t made a move whether it be telling her you like her or asking her out.

I doubt she’s not disappointment till the day. Apart of her I reckon will always be sad and disappointed and she’ll be living with the “what if” OR “we could’ve been”

She seems like the type of girl that doesn’t make moves on guys or is used to guys making all the moves.

[LalaIbby90]

She likes you a lot and that’s clear and the fact that she hasn’t confessed or made a move and ONLY have you clear signs of interest and liking towards you makes me think she’s used to men asking her out or chasing her. And it may very well be because of her looks or culture or both? She’s probs never had to ask a man out or tell him her feelings first. This whole thing with you may be new and probably confused her the hell out

[Asker]

How are you so sure that she likes me a lot? :/ after our last encounter?

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah even before you separated it was obvious she liked you. But after that encounter with her and it’s been months and she was still clearly hung up on you then it proves to everyone that she still has a lot of feelings for you. I know she barely knows if at all. But her feelings seem like they’re close to ‘love’ like she fell in love with you at first sight.

Did she ever do things to impress you? or has she ever tried to get your attention? And if so how?

Has she ever complimented you, clothes / looks / personality / etc?

Based on the above i can tell you how much she liked you kind of, from a girls view. Because she can go from liking you, to having strong feelings to falling in love with you.

[Asker]

But why didn't she talk? Is it coz she ignored me and now feels how to approach? :/ coz thats what my friend said. That ignoring would have made her feel i no longer like her and will never speak to her :/

[LalaIbby90]

Your friends right. As soon as you ignore a girl it’ll go from confusing to hurt because she’s gonna think “he doesn’t like me anymore” and that you don’t want to talk to her. So your friend is right. Her look was to see if that held true but you staring back at her confirmed that you do like her (depending on how you stared at her).
Has she ever tried to impress you or get your attention?

[Asker]

Yeah like me sometimes she would walk where I am and hang around near me. Exactly like me. We are quite similar in this. We both flaunted ourselvrs in front of each other.

Another thing. I had this dream of a baby deer and snow. didn't see her in it but I was reasing how deer is good for love in dreams. I dunno. I did see matjng snakes but it didn't happen so I don't know if I should believe it :/

[LalaIbby90]

How’d you guys flaunt?

And really does deer mean love in a dream? I didn’t know that. Is that what the online dream interpretation says?

[Asker]

Like she would normally sit and do her thing but on seeing me, she would try to stay around me a lot. I did the same. Even more. Like even when talking on the phone, i would do it in front of her. I would walk past her where she would be sitting even if it meant changing routes or directions. And yeah the eye contact was always there.
Though sometimes I pretended I didn't do it intentionally but it was always intentional.

Yeah it did see. I saw a small baby deer and snow and snowfall too. One site said snowfall meant letter from loved on and in my dream I did see a letter as the means of confession.

[LalaIbby90]

It’s great that u guys are both similar or that u realised so. 😊
Really? Had no clue. You reckon it has anything to do with the fact that you’re in winter now? You’re in the UK was it? Isn’t cold up there now? Or you think there’s meaning with that dream

[Asker]

Our similarity is the reason of this current state tho :(

In the uk its snowing as I heard on news but right now I am in Dubai so its pretty warm here. Dunno what it means :/

[LalaIbby90]

See I’m not sure whether she would’ve asked you out or at least told you her feelings if you didn’t ignore her or she would’ve waited for you to do it. Like there’s a chance even if you didn’t ignore she may have not said anything out of shyness or just the expectation that you should be doing it. Or she could’ve been one of those that are very much capable and was going to say something until the ignoring happened.

But she doesn’t sound bold. She’s a pure example of how stereotypes are bullshit. She’s got the looks but she’s not as bold as people would expect her to be.

[Asker]

Yeah you are right. I guess she expected me since I am bold and she saw me being so bold but I sucked at this.

Do u really think we will meet again and end up together? :/

[Asker]

I'm still astounded that she remembers my face.

[LalaIbby90]

I was thinking about it what if the winter dreams means you guy will end up together in winter. Like the confession will happen in winter sometime. Could be any winter. Maybe this one, maybe the next maybe in a few years. If like u said the deer is a love thing and it has something to do with a confession then that’s what I think. It’s funny because here in aus winter is in June and that’s when you saw her or was it July? Like it’s be funny if you got together during those months

[Asker]

But that would not be of any use since after June I will leave the country forever. My term will end at the university and I will leave. And I guess she will too :/
Its winter till 1st week of June in the UK so who knows.

I do see June quite a lot. Even in some of my books and journals, I'm supposed to read, the name of her country shows up. Plus I don't know why I get this feeling that she's coming. I tried positive therapy and it kinda worked. I do feel hopeful and positive but still :/

[LalaIbby90]

So what’s the point of getting together then? If you’re going to go back to UK and she’s going to go back to her country... like there’s no point in a relationship

[Asker]

No I will propose the choice if she would like to come with me to my country. Because I am not going to date and leave. Or if its required then I dont have a prob with taking a bigger step together. Because will be living together as long as we are here. Thats what my idea is

[Asker]

Plus if these dreams mean anything legit then supposedly there was a thread dream. The thread being tied on her finger. So if its any way legit then I guess its something more than just dating

[LalaIbby90]

So if it gets down to it then you’re thinking of proposing? Or am I way off?

[Asker]

Yes of course. I wouldn't want to leave like that. I ve seen many inter racial couples at universities or interning abroad do this so why not? I didn't yearn just for sex and obtaining and then dump off and leave. Also at least we would be in love+having daily contact via phone/messaging if she has to go back to get through immigration stuff and I can fly over too

[LalaIbby90]

This is super cute! Such a romantic ❤️ You sound like you have it all planned out!

[Asker]

But look at the current situation :( I am actually nervous going back to uni. Coz the hope will appear and I'm afraid to come home dejected every single day :(

[LalaIbby90]

Do u think about her everyday?

[Asker]

I think everyday is an understatement. Its more like every hour each day

[LalaIbby90]

Yuycks! You sure you’re not in love with this girl?
Coz it seems like u are!!
Do u think about the past or possible future or what

[Asker]

Yeah I think I'm in love. And I do reminisce about our time together all the time. Wanting to go back and just wanting us to get together asap as its too much to bear.

But then I think what if she moved on, what if she no longer likes me, what if he has a boyfriend at home etc and it just makes me sad :/

[LalaIbby90]

We spoke about this she wouldn’t have stared at U if she moved on or she has a boyfriend. There’s noway. She’s give you a quick glimpse and that’s it. This one wanted to hold eye contact. Was staring at u. Wanted u to notice her. She’s single AF. She hasn’t moved on. It’s been months and she still remembers U.

Pretty sure ur in love. Noway does someone think about someone that much and reminisce and it’s just a like. You love her and the sad thing is she most likely does too. God, you guys are just a sad love story. Too sad.
Do U know what country she’s from? Is it like India or Spanish or something else? Or did u just guess roughly where she’s from

[Asker]

From India

I know :/ Whenever I told someone about us they were always like 'its such a sad story' . I always felt such weird sensations of heartache whenever I heard that.
I have no idea if my dreams will ever come true. Most came true so i do have a tiny ray of hope. The day I discovered her pic was the same night I had the confession dream. So i do have some hope :/

I'm paranoid tbh. So i do think of all negative situations.

[Doncastar]

Omg hugs!!! @asker don't worry I'm sure you guys will end up together!!! I'm rooting for you! I guarantee you WILL write here "We are together"
Pls be positive!

[LalaIbby90]

I agree you guys will get there somehow! So don’t give up!

[Asker]

But how :/

[Doncastar]

I think your dreams hold a clue. I dont think someone keeps showing up since 6 months? For no reason? Like cmon it doesn't make sense. And they came true too. Meeting again further strengthens my argument.

[Asker]

Hope so. Anyway happy new year @Doncaster @Lalalbby90

[Doncastar]

Thank you! @same to ya! Hope you get your love!

[Asker]

I don't know :( Lots of my friends are saying I should just forget her as she made no effort to stop and talk to me. He even said i should stop trying to make it look like she wants me as she clearly doesn't. I don't know what to say at this point. I do feel that if she really wished talking or such she would stop but didn't @Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

Tell your friends that it’s not black and white. When a girl gets ignored. It’s painful.
She got ignored and feels like an idiot probably. Stopping and talking to you would look a little desperate especially it ended the time before with you ignoring her. From her POV she likely thinks hat because you didn’t go after her, YOU don’t want her

[Asker]

I tried but they wouldn't even listen. They kept saying K keep looking for things which aren't there. They even said she never liked me. I told them that maybe as she ignored me too she probably feels I won't talk to her or its all over from my end. Then they just ridiculed me. One of them doesn't sven believe her staring at me means anything. He literally said her looking at me last month meant nothin :/

[LalaIbby90]

Is that how guys think? Yuycks!

Because I’m not siding with them at all. I’m a girl and I can generally say how we act and how we think about things. And no girl I know to date has stared at a guy for no reason. No girl I know to date has made the effort to approach a guy and talk for no reason. No girl I know to date has eye locked with someone for no reason. Like that’s just stupid, sorry. Guys can be horrible.

But she would probably think that you don’t want to talk to her or that you’re over her. She’s not blind to not think you didn’t like her because I think I’m a way you were obvious about how you felt. So she most likely knows you felt for her. But feels either rejected or you changed your mind

[Asker]

I also wonder. I told them if there's nothing then he could have walked off casually without even looking at me. Why bother looking at someone and making eye contact but he brushed off saying its not the case as I was simply in the way and thats why I was noticed. And her looking doesn't show he remembers me

They dont even care for experiences. I told she kept watching me until we eye locked. Then 1 of them said ok that may mean something as he could have easily acted like i dont exist and not bothering looking at me.

But the rest were like no you are just trying to reach to rekindle. As there was no effort to stop and say hi. Nasically their knowledge stems from if 1 likes you then they makes moves.

They were supportive of men tho. Saying if a man was doing this instead of a girl they would probably believe he liked the girl.

[LalaIbby90]

That’s so hypocritical tho. So if a man does it’s clear he likes the girl but not the other way around? Wtf?

Look either your friends are jealous that you’re getting or were getting the attention of a girl. Or they don’t understand girls at all. Or they’re doing their man thing by saying shit like that to make you get over her so you don’t stay miserable.

Have they ever met her? Or know her? Because I’d theyve never met her in person or at least saw her in person then they can’t really judge? You have though and I don't know I find it hard that you’re making it all up and it’s all in your head?

She didn’t stop because why the hell would she when she got ignored. I swear I feel sorry for this girl and any girl who goes through shit like this.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah but you like her and you didn’t make a move. If that was the case then you don’t like her. Because moves weren’t made

[Asker]

1 of them how she looks like. I showed him. He was the one who said she still does.

She largely ignored me after our chat so I always felt she doesn't have the face anymore. But they just looled away.

It sucks. You try to seek help but get responses like these. They also kept saying she may have found someone as good looking people rarely stay single. Its self defeating

[Asker]

True. How can I make up the stares and amazing eye contact we shared. How can I forget all the times both of us did to woo each other. Its not in my head. It happened in reality which people just dismiss it quickly as if its nothing.

After our eye lock a month ago I am sure she would think about how I kept looking too. Maybe going through same thoughtz but feeling whats the point after it was all destroyed :/ now I dont feel like goimg back to uni tbh

[LalaIbby90]

She doesn’t have a face anymore? Sorry what?

Also I assumed your friends were guys which is wrong of me, are they guys?

And the friend who saw her is he the only one who believes she likes you? It’s interesting tho that the only one who saw her thinks she does. What made him side with you?

The other mates. Well if they haven’t seen her how do they know she’s good looking. I don’t mean to be rude but you see her as attractive but that may not be the case for everyone. She may be average but you see her beautiful. So your mates are just assuming that she’s “good looking” and that’s why she won’t stay single for long. Unless the other friend who saw her also said she’s good looking then it may have given them the idea she’ll get a guy soon. Which is bullshit

[LalaIbby90]

I know a lot of girls who are very pretty and have been single for a long time. Because they’ve chosen to be until they meet the right guy. She may be one of them. Well st least in the months you separated she was still single. And she was single when you met her. She seems like she’s been single for a while and it may have been her choice if she’s “that good looking”.

Yeah it’s hard to make all that shit up tbh. Like have u ever met someone who tried to stare at u, eye lock with u, try and talk to u for no reason? Do two people have sexual tension for no reason?

[Asker]

True. I mean we came first to face so many times and our eye locks were always so intense so I know but people start saying they dont see anything in my story.

Am not sure if she's single. Paranoid u know but her last look towards me was enough to see she at least knows who he saw :/

[Asker]

I mean after both of us ignored each other it could be she may feel I won't talk to her or got over her so thats why not approaching coz may feel I no longer have interest after what occurred?

[LalaIbby90]

Look she may have the same insecurities. She may think your good looking and that you’ve found another girl. She may have the same fear you know? She may be scared that you’ve moved on particularly after the ignoring or you’ve chosen to move on. She probably have the same insecurities and it probably kills her and take it from me she’s still single.

Your mates are kind of slack for judging so harshly. There’s is a lot in your story. I spoke to my boyfriend about what your mates said coz he knows about all of this. He said he kind of gets it where they’re coming from because guys will generally want a girl who is obvious about her affections like blatant flirting. Kind of like your exes. He said he sees that this girl likes you and doesn’t have a doubt but she’s more subtle and shy and many guys think it’s pathetic when a guy tells the story. He says you need to tell her when u see her and have an honest conversation.
What did your mate say about her when he saw her?

[LalaIbby90]

He says you guys will always have a part of you that’s always conflicted or saddened if you never confront each other and just be honest about how you two feel. He goes fuck being together for now. Stop thinking about wanting her and think first about having an open and honest conversation no matter how hard about how you feel and she needs to do the same during that convo or you guys will always get a shitty feeling when you remember the other

[Asker]

:( I want to talk but she's rarely there. Unless I see her I can't even talk. Its a pathetic situation.

[Asker]

I seriously dont want to go back. It will be hard again. I just felt positive that at least we had oue eye contact which kinda gave away of remembering me. But now i dont know what is gonna happen

[Asker]

I think something is wrong. I guess its all over or either I'm too negative abd frustrated. I haven't seen her in my dreams since the last few days. I keep getting these thoughts how I will never see her again and I am so frustrated that I just keep thinking I should just forget about it and we only met to have a few run ins and that was it.

Tbh it started after the term 1 ended with nothing happening and i know my hopelessness and frustration is caused due to it. I dont feel lile going to university.

Do u really think all these dreams and signs were just for us to see each other again and separate forever? @Lalalbby90 @Doncaster

[Doncastar]

Trust me I really dont think it was only for a few run ins. I sincerely believe it was and is fate.

[Doncastar]

Stop being hopeless. It only attracts negativity. Think positive things and they will come to you

[LalaIbby90]

@Asker After everything I have to agree with @Doncaster it does mean something. Can I just say everything you shared was “magical” or how can I say it... I don't know but it’s like you guys had a romantic story but without being together? Make sense? It just seems that way with you two. A love story where you guys haven’t ended up together not sure if u feel that way

[Asker]

But do y really think we will end up together? I feel heartbroken as if a part of me died. Always reminiscing

[Asker]

Because ultimately if after everything, nothing happens, then she will become a memory whom I shall never see again and the very thought breaks my heart.

The course on her religion has started but i haven't been to college as I dont want to.

[Asker]

Forgot to mention I see 11.1 or 111 a few times these days.

[Doncastar]

111? THAT is great news my friend.

2018 is 11/2 year too..

It usually means manifestation. I am removing TF from this.
Just looking at all your dreams+signs+the connectiom between you two.

It seems you guys will manifest together in reality. Which I truly hope! ☺

It makes me sad hearing such words!

[LalaIbby90]

Worst case scenario is that u two won’t end up together but that doesn’t take away the fact that Yoi two shared something great together, that u like each other a lot, that I we’ll we’re attracted to each other, that u wanted each other, that I shared amazing eye contact and moments together. That u two had the opportunity of meeting each other and crossing paths.

You two may not end up together soon and maybe in the future, a time where u may have forgotten about her. Or you two may never end up together but cross paths and be friends. But regardless if he outcomes, no one can take what you two shared away because it was real.

Be happy about that

[LalaIbby90]

You were attracted ***

[LalaIbby90]

Also you’ve taken a high interest in her religion... is she religious?

[Asker]

I dont know if she's religious. I just know I had this subject and when I found her online, I discovered she belonged to this religion

Yeah. I know I can never forget the summer of 2017. Its just that we couldnt be together. Doesn't look like its going to happen. I guess its all a beautiful memory. I can't even imagine how i will feel when I finally leave. Its breaking my heart

[Asker]

Also I'm happy you all are finally saying this won't happen. Because I have been living in this delusion for months.

[LalaIbby90]

I’d be careful with the word delusion.
It was all there. You guys had it all there: the stares, the talks, the eye locks, the wooing. Just needed a little more courage on either end. But never know if this stems into something in the future.

[Asker]

Still, I got dream seeing us together, holding hands, tying threads etc. If it was all fake and nothing happens then it was all a trap which made me so delusional. I find it funny I even believed it.

[Asker]

Plus i keep seeing couples infulging in PDA ever since the day there were couples doing PDA AT My university and thats when I saw her again. Its even more sad coz we could have been one of those

[LalaIbby90]

No ones saying it’s not gonna happen. Or it’s gonna happen. No ones god here to know. What we’re saying is from what u shared with her, the signs and dreams it is likely you will end up with her whether this year or in 10 years times. No one knows. And there is also a chance you may never be together or get together for a short time and then split. Who knows? But based on what you’ve given us it seems like it’ll happen but time is unknown. No one knows. No one can’t tell you it will happen or it won’t happen, but what likely will happen.
As I said what u guys shared is really cute. Not many experience such intensity of sexual attraction and liking. So you’re lucky im a way

[Asker]

Any idea about this 111 and this couples in love everywhere thing? Because since the mid December, the couples seem rampant and starting Jan, this 111 thing

[Doncastar]

I will STILL STICK BY WHAT I SAID. I do believe you guys will get together. These signs obviously mean something. I do think so I'm going to stick by my statement.

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe you’re noticing more couples because you really want to be with her? Like you want it so bad that you’re noticing it more?

Also yes there’s a likely chance you’ll end up together

[Asker]

Could be. I just happen to see so many of them that it seemed weird. They are either glued together or holding hands and its ridiculous how frequent it is.

[Asker]

And strangely, I am feeling very nervous. I don't know why. But its similar feeling when I used to meet her. Feeling nervous and bumpy.

[LalaIbby90]

Really? You think she’s nervous and you’re feeling it? Order what? What does bumpy mean?

[Asker]

I don't know if she's nervous but all of a sudden I'm really getting anxious and nervous. Whenever I thought of talking, I would get very nervous and basically my heart would go crazy.

Its what I am feeling now. The same feelings of nervousness. No clue why :/

[LalaIbby90]

So it’s the same feeling you felt when you used to talk to her and couldn’t formulate words around her?
I don’t know why that would be the case tbh. Maybe she’s nervous and you’ve picked up on it or maybe you’re thinking of approaching her and the idea makes you go nervous and crazy?

[Asker]

I have been thinking of our next conversation so could be. Just felt very nervous. Was very frustrated and annoyed by the end of the day.

Also had a full on dream after a long gap where we talked and we were also talking through phone

[LalaIbby90]

What were you thinking about exactly (fantasy wise) when talking to her? And why were you frustrated?

The dreams is probably manifesting your real world desires of wanting to talk to her and be her guy, her man

[Asker]

I dont know it was just first i think I saw her hug another guy which made me sad when I recalled it. Last night i was talking about how maybe she moved on and I do have this fear that what if she's got a man. I also saw the old pics of a guy friend who she used to talk to and who was playful to her. Hated this and I am scared tbh.

Then I saw that I bumped into her, she was staring at me and I called her by her name and she shook my hand and after that I just know we were chatting and talking on the phone.

It was quite vivid since I called by her name.

[LalaIbby90]

Sorry which part of this was fantasy thinking, which part was the dream and which part was reality? Just so I can get the picture straIght

[Asker]

All of it was a dream. In my dream last night, I saa us talk through phone and face to face

[LalaIbby90]

Are you the the jealous type? Do u get easily jealous if guys are playful with her or look at her differently?

Looks like you get worried a lot if she’ll be single or find someone else. Look how I see it is hat if she’s stayed single for months after you two hadn’t seen each other then tells me two things. She still has feelings for you plus she doesn’t go for any guy. By the sounds of it this girl may go for guys who are great in personality or have something to offer. It doesn’t sound like she goes for any guy available. I don't know based onevegythjng you have said she’s coming off as someone who would rather stay single that date an anybody.
And ohhh! Maybe that’s why you’ve felt nervous. The who dream may have played with your nerves! Crazy though! Because if you feel very nervous by the idea of talking to her and having another conversation then she’s definitl y made your heart beat a little faster! But seems like this is the first time Uve felt this nervous around a girl

[Asker]

Tbh I am a very jealous type. Tho I do think he's single. Its just my gut feeling. Though I'm prone to paranoia so maybe thats why.

I can only tell by our last encounter. She kept looking and even made eye contact with me so that was positive feeling.

I felt nervous during the day then had this dream at night. It was sudden and unexpected. It started off like we met at some doorway and I called her by her name and she was standing and watching me. We shook hands & she asked me how I was doing. Then the dream went to us talking through phone and texts.

I hope this dream manifests in reality. Because so far all our meetings dreams came true. Both times I dreamt we crossed paths and we did in reality. I did see us come fact to face and have a stare and it happened.

And im thinking that the holding hands and confession and the thread can only happen when we start talking so maybe last night's dream showed our first steps together which would lead to us getting together?

[LalaIbby90]

She maybe he jealous type too. Who knows. You’ll probably get pissed if a guy tries to flirt with her in front of you.

Yeah based on your last encounter so obvious that she still wanted you or had feelings there.

Tbh as well if you are that nervous I doubt you’ll ever be able to confess and I don’t want to be rude about it but I get the instinct that if you two ever happen it’s her that would do the confessing. I don’t know if you agree with me?

And honestly that dream does sound like how you two will initiate getting together. Her staring and watching you sounds like something she does anyways in reality so it’s not far off. And she’s approached you face to face before so her coming to you and asking how you are isn’t too far off reality either. So you guys seems like you’ll meet and have another conversation. But my instincts say that one day shell be confessing. I don't know why she hasn’t done so yet but she may have her issues

[LalaIbby90]

Also from my experience when my boyfriend was too nervous to confess how he felt the time we realised we both really liked each other to the time we finally got together, it was hell. Because I was so emotionally and sexually frustrated. In all honesty, I hooked up with two guys when I thought we weren’t ever going to happen but that made things worse. I thought I could forget about him that way and run away from emotions. But I felt worse because I had so much feelings for him and I felt like I cheated on him despite not being together. Crazy I know. But the whole time I was like “does he still like me” “will he get over me” “did her ever like me” etc etc. And all I wanted was cute romantic shit with him and then in my head if fantasize about all the crazy shit I’d do to him or even just make love to him. So I was an emotional roller coaster and sexually frustrated. It’s why I feel for this girl heaps. Like if she’s anything like me... she’s emotionally and sexually frustrated

[Asker]

My friends dismisded our last emcounter as nothing that is why I became sceptical :/

[Asker]

I don't know but apparently I did the confessing through the love letter so maybe I will gain the courage to finally do it. At least I will tell her I like her so much.

[Asker]

There is a lot of sexual frustration I admit. Even my closest friend said he wouldn't be surprised if we had did it too soon consideing hpw heated and intense our meetings always were

[LalaIbby90]

So what makes that one friend say your meetings are heated and intense and believes that you guys will probably end up doing it soon? What he basing it omg?
But yet the others dismiss it?
At least you have one friend who gets it I guess

[Asker]

My flatmate and my japanese friend are the only one who agree to her still having feelings and so on. The rest just dismissed it saying I was in the way so she just saw me and she's probably got a boyfriend due to her looks etc.

These two are the only ones saying she feels for me and we had way too much intensity

[LalaIbby90]

But why the fuck would they dismiss it when you guys had a history? Like it’s not like the last encounter was the only encounter you guys have had. What was their response to everything else? I’m honestly surprised by your group of friends.

Well at least the Japanese friend and that flat mate see it. That intensity is chemistry you two shared. But if your dreams come true then that thread may mean a proposal/ marriage in the future. She may be your future wife hmm...

[LalaIbby90]

Also yeah if you’re feeling sexually frustrated because who wouldn’t? It’s been months! She’s feeling it too 100%. If she’s attracted to you ima physical level which you said she is right? Then she’s sexually frustrated too. So I agree. I wouldn’t be surprised if you asked her on a date and that night something happened unless her self control is so high up the roof then she may actually hold off because some girls get worried that guys will think they’re too easy and it’ll turn off the guy. But if she doesn’t give a shit about what people say or thinks you like her enough not to judge her, then I doubt she’ll wait and just end up in your bed because it’s been months if pent up frustration

[Asker]

I agree. I can only imagine what would happen if we were left alone.

But do u really think my dreams mean something? :/

[LalaIbby90]

Well here’s to a day where you two are alone and finally get some love and peace with each other.

Yeah I do. I think the last dream you had would manifest into reality most likely. It sounds like something that would happen between you two and it would be the start to something more and seems like she’s going to end up as fiancé one day. It already seems like you don’t mind having her as a long term partner you seem dedicated to her

[Asker]

Thanks and yeah I would love to take things that far. Two weird things. I keep seeing 11 or 111 or 1111 a lot and these holding hands couples ranging from teens to old couples are literally in my face -_-

[LalaIbby90]

Tbh I don’t know what the numbers mean it’s why I didn’t say anything. My friends used to tell me if you see the same numbers (time) like 7:07,11:11, 12:12 etc it means someone you love is thinking about you but never believed it tbh. So not sure.

It must be super annoying that you see all these couples and love and sappy stuff, and you’re probably like “why couldn’t this be us”

[Asker]

Yeah and it has increased so much. They are everywhere. I started seeing them since our last encounter. My friend said its a foreshadowing but i honestly doubt it :/

[LalaIbby90]

I reckon it’s painful because it was reciprocated. I reckon you would’ve gotten over it if it was unrequited but because she’s showed you she felt the same way and wanted something with you is the shitty feeling. Like you guys could have been dating for months I guess and got to share a lot of moments together as a couple rather than pining.

And it may be foreshadowing to something but I honestly have no idea. I’ve been told about the time thing but I never really believed it. One of my mates told me his lucky number is 27 because he met his girlfriend at a club that was called 27, then he got with her on 27 of some month, then they found out she was pregnant on the 27th of some month. When he told me months ago, I was like wtf mind blown! But he said it was his lucky number. I don't know if it’s the same with you

[Asker]

True. I dunno whats going to happen. I get really worried when i think t if she moved on or found someone else. It hurts. But then i realise that in all my dreams it was us together and some came true so if we aren't gonna be together, why did I see such dreams which came true?

Well my birthday is 29 and it translates into 11. Tho my lucky no is 2. And apparently my personal year is also 2 in 2018 which is year 2/11.

[Asker]

And her full name number or destiny , hearts desire number is also 11

[LalaIbby90]

I really think she has the same fear. It’s normal for so many people to feel that way. I’m pretty sure she probably thinks you’re over her, moved on and probably gets really worried you found another girl. Don’t you ever think, that she may be really worried and scared that you have forgotten her?

I have no idea what these numbers are like the year stuff your explaining or her name number. Never heard of it in my life tbh. But if 11 is coming up a lot it may be that you get together in November or something significant happens between you two in November or on the 11th of some month. Who knows

[Asker]

She may but I tried to give her the same love eyes the last time I saw her. The moment I looked up, I kept looking until she tore her eyes off me and walked on. So at least she can figure out that I also looked at her and made contact with her.
I hope she thought of it. That I recognise and remember and still looked.

The nov thing isn't possible tbh coz my course ends in July. Maybe some date. My japanese friend says 11 is 2 when 1+1 and this means number of a soulmate.

It has indeed gotten strong. Ever since we saw each other in dec, this couples and now this no has gotten really strong.
Plus this dream of us looking and finally talking/texting. Coz i always thought how it was possible to confess and hold hands without even chatting properly

[Doncastar]

In my opinion this latest dream is GREAT! It shows the START of what could culminate into the later stages..

Like first you guys chat and talk properly. Only then you can know more about each other and get close and comfortable with one another. Also that is how you guys will plan out your dates and meetings.

Only then you can make the confession and hold hands. Just like you saw in your dream. Without it, I cannot see how the proposal will happen.

Obviously when you start talking, I dont think the confession will take too long. My bet is on 2nd date. You guys have shared history. So I dont think it will take too much time. I reckon you guys will be holding hands pretty soon. Cute!

I think its honestly great. You mentioned you werent getting dreams so this is out of the blue.

However, this meeting , if it manifests into reality, use it well and smartly. Drop all inhibitions and just TALK! Keep talking and act normal no matter how anxious you are

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Could not agree more!

[Asker]

:/ I don't know if its ever going to take place

[LalaIbby90]

You were you were just saying how your dreams come true and how it seems like that’s how you’ll meet... you confuse me

[Asker]

I'm paranoid tbh. I always think the negatives and worst things more than the positive ones

[LalaIbby90]

Paranoid of her moving on?

[Asker]

Not just moving on but never getting together as well

[LalaIbby90]

I really think you guys would.

But have you ever considered being friends with her? Like when you finally meet her whenever fate has it in place, like talking to her and trying to be friends with her so that you don’t feel too nervous about asking her out? Like build a friendship with her so that you get to a stage where you’re super comfy with her and then you can tell how you feel. That way you’ll still see her and talk to her because she’s a friend while getting super comfortable with her until you have the courage and you never know if she’s friends with you she may actually build the courage herself to tell you before you need to tell her

[Asker]

I am thinking of it. I don't know if she would be willing. There was a level of comfort when we first talked so if it goes on casually then it will be easy I agree.
I dont want her to feel I friendzoned her but I want to build a friendship at least. The pressure will be off amd then confess.

[Asker]

U really think we would? How so sure?

[LalaIbby90]

You really should when u see her just attempt at friendship but also show her you like her through your actions like compliment her hair or outfit, give her the love eyes here and there, flirt with her here and there while being friends because it’ll let a girl know you have feelings for her. That way she will know she’s not friend zoned but this is your way of connecting with her and building courage. It may be funny that once she’s talking with you as a “friend” that she may confess it out of the blue because you haven’t ignored her and you’re “friends” with her

And from your dreams

[LalaIbby90]

Also why wouldn’t she be willing?

[Asker]

I got the feeling that she wasn't keen on friends. It seemed both of us wanted a relationship quickly. But since it didn't happen fast I guess both of us got pissed.

I'm like still waiting. I wish we didn't have this guessing game and got straight into this instead of these signs and synchroncities.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeahhhh does sound like it tbh. Mhmmm. But I reckon she’ll be open for friendship initially better than nothing you know. At least she’ll get to talk you rather being strangers again.

You reckon she got pissed? Hmm you never mentioned it before. How?

[Asker]

Coz she too ignored me. I'm fucked up big time and maybe coz of how she ignored me I doubt she will approach unless there's change of heart tho I'm still not seeing her when she knows I'm here :/ fate again keeping us away

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah. You sound like you’ve fallen in love with her. She likely has too. It’s sad because you guys do sound like you were eager on the relationship but you guys wanted things to happen too fast but also had the expectation the other person would ask out, you ended up losing each other and having nothing? Seems like what you guys had was so intense that it couldn’t warrant a friendship for the both of you even tho it was necessary for both of you to build courage. Like we don’t even know why she didn’t approach or confess. Like everything is just a maybe. We have no clue what made her not ask you out. It could’ve been fear of rejection, it could’ve been not being sure you liked her in that way, could’ve been that she’s had an awful experience or break up last time, it could’ve been an expectation a man should do it. So many possibilities. We know for a fact that she has feelings for u. What we don’t know is Why she didn’t confess her feelings. I have the distinct feeling she expected u

[Asker]

Yeah I guess she did but when she realised I wasn't able to, she approached me herself. Unfortunately I got mad that she didn't ask me out instantly and thay resulted in this.

I don't know whays going to happen. Its been 5 days since the dream. Last time I had a dream of us meeting, it happened within 7 days. Then it look 15+ days for the unexpected meeting and now god knows when.
I still keep remembering the times we met and saw each other. Those were such beautiful moments.

[LalaIbby90]

Do u think if you didn’t get mad and attempted I don't know at friendship you guy would’ve been something and she may have asked you out? U reckon she’s the type to confess her feelings? U know her better than any of us on here.

That’s really cute. You probably may doubt this, but the likelihood chance is that she keeps thinking about them too. I’m basing this off your last interaction. It was clear she remembered everything between you two and for that to happen there’s a lot of reminiscing and thinking

[Asker]

Yes most likely. At least we would have had talking and texting. But I kinda ruined it and all. Its just sad and pathetic.

I hope so. I really love all of our interactions together. Never experienced such intensity and beauty.
I reckon I will catch her when I'm completely off guard and unecpected. I still search around and so far, no luck :/ though I would like to meet alone since we desperately need to talk 1 on 1.

[LalaIbby90]

What part do u find pathetic?

Intensity do u mean chemistry or what?

And yeah I agree 1:1 between u two love birds is a must. have your friends suggested ways of how you can talk to her or what to say when u finally bump into her?

[Asker]

This separation. Plus today I got extremely sentimental. Reminiscing is beautiful yet extremely painful. I ve come to realise I will never be the same without this part of my heart which I lost 7 months ago. Its like a part of me went away the moment we separated.
Today while returning back, a stranger told me I need to cheer up. Apparently I look sad when I'm not talking or smiling or laughing.
I dont know what this connection is tbh. Met, instant attraction, felt we met before, intense attraction and connection, signs, dreams and extreme pain.

I ve thought of saying Hi first then if she responds then go on talking about how she is, her hair cut, hows her course going, her body language would be sufficient. We had the habit of staring at each other as if we got lost into one another so if I get even a slight hint of those love eyes, I ll ask out for coffee. Judging by the last encounter, it seems fairly possible. I still cannot believe he remembered my face.

[LalaIbby90]

Yuykcks! Sounds like you’re connected to her and this soulmate shit is real! You sound like soulmates and if that’s the case I guess she’s feeling the same? I have no doubt she’s thinking of every moment that u two shared and has it on replay and that’s why she’s still carrying feelings and made the eye contact last time. Your both attracted to each other and love each other. But your both oddly similar too. Both wanting things instantly, both not having the courage to confess feelings, both speak with the eyes, both still want each other but both resorted to ignoring. It’s funny and sad. Like you guys were made for each other but then still are separated and hurting. You guys should be a couple. If your dream comes true, then you’ll be holding hands soon and the confessing happens. It would so cute when you guys finally hold hands and hug

[Asker]

I do think we are soulmates. I dont think it would have affected me if we werent. But affecting to such an extent that both of us still remember each other. I do have her pics so I know but I give credit that he doesn't have any pic yet remembers my face. Either has a good memory or still remembers everything we shared.

Today, I had another dream. Similar to 1 photo I screenshotted 2 days ago. Except for the fact my mother was using my phone and her pic was my wallpaper and she had no issues. Also in the photo she was standing and staring at me but in my dream, she was walking towards me and if I remember clearly, we hugged. I'm skeptical about the hug as I cannot remembee properly but I do know she came to me.

Yeah we are similar. No wonder we were instantly attracted to each other and were making the same mistakes. Mirrors images I guess. I want to hold hands and hug desperately. I know I am not letting go anytime once we hug. Its been too long.

[LalaIbby90]

Wait what you have her photo as your wallpaper? Waaaaht! That is bold man. Real bold. What if your mates and shit saw it?

I do think you two are soulmates or meant to be. What ever you two have is too strong for it to be a nothing. But if she is your girl then you know she’s going through the same shit. It’d be funny one day when you two arweeks together for a while and possibly kids and you guys talk about how once upon a time you guys thought it would never happen but here you two are, happy and in love.

I bet both of you want to hug and hold hands. Outta boy! When you hug her don’t let go

[Asker]

No i meant in my dream I saw that her pic was my wallpaper and my mom was using my phone. I saw this in my dream as well as she looking at me and possibly coming over and giving a hug.

I hope it happens. Its really fate I ve come to realise. The whole campaign happened, we met, developed something, separated, dreamt on and some came true and now we only see each other on certain dates while I see everyone all the time.

I sure won't. Been away and yearned too long to let go

[LalaIbby90]

Oh oh oh I seeeeee! Man she may be on your wallpaper if she’s your girlfriend and your mum won’t mind coz she’d know she’s your girl. That’s cute!!! And yeah you two need 1:1 for a talk, for a hug and for everything that you’ve missed out on the 7 months.

It is fate. I was a little 50/50 before but nah man can’t be more obvious with everything that you’ve mentioned. You two were fated to meet and were fated to end up together..

Like did u also realise she’s stayed single for a while now like she’s meeting nobody which is also fate? Why would she end up with someone when she’s met the guy she’s fated with? Make sense?

[Asker]

Yeah but since nothing happens which brings us together makes me feel that she may get someone. If things looked like it was now going on the right path, I wouldn't mind but so far, nothing. Just 2 dreams recently. Which I dont know when and how will come true.
Sometimes i just dismiss it thinking but then a vivid dream comes. When 2 of our encounter dreams came true plus the fact I saw her here for real, then it kinda made me think that it means something. I do have prophetic dreams but in this case, in total, all 4 main ones came true. Except confession, thread tying and now this talking+texting one.

Yeah. Our college management decided to shut down the the student run cafe thats why we started the campaign and protests. And the school term was OVER. But she was coming daily and we started seeing each other. Before that, one week before, we crossed paths for the first time.

Plus wanting to act on the feelings came from both sides. Knowing we didn't have time left.

[LalaIbby90]

If she was going to be with someone she would’ve already but she didn’t she bumped into you and tried to catch your eye meaning... little miss Sunshine still has heart given to u

and yeah so why the hell did you get pissed that she didn’t ask you out? Why couldn’t you continue being normal andnask for her nimber and be friend s

[Asker]

Well yeah thats true. After being told she left, bumped into her and she still made contact. I thought pple who dont have interest anymore wouldn't even bother seeing their ex crush or ex love in front of them if they no longer like them.

I was in a hurry. Wanted us ASAP. I wanted it so badly. Cutest girl I ever laid my eyes on. Plus it was mutual. I am short tempered and get easily annoyed and that got the worst out of me. Had I kept myself open, this wouldn't hsve happened.

[LalaIbby90]

That’s right I remember that was the reason!!! So cute wit the whole cutest girl laid my eyes on! She wanted it as bad too and she didn’t get pissed at you

[Asker]

I was immature :/ dealt with it really negatively. Felt what was the point when there's no time and she didn't ask me out. Too much idiocy from my part. I'm waiting each day. So far, no good news. Irs mid January already :/

[LalaIbby90]

But like why? Did you for a second think she was just I don't know passing time? Having fun? Wasn’t genuine? And that’s what made you get pissed? Because someone having feelings for you but having not asking you out because of who knows what reason isn’t like piss worthy material. But if you doubted how she felt or if you felt she was just enjoying the attention then yes that would be piss worthy.. like what made u think she was goingg to ask you out 100% anyways before the term ended

[Asker]

It waa evident we wanted each other so I thought she would and from where I come from, women are much more upfront and can easily aak out. My early life was spent in Denmark so from there, I waa raised in a way that women are more able to approach men. Judging by her behavior, I thought she would. But the fact she said no to my have we met before question, made me irritated. :/ I know its stupid. But I wanted us ASAP.

Now he's a memory. Unless some miracle happens

[Doncastar]

I can understand ur frustration but don't attract negativity. I am not saying she's still at your college. As it is indeed strange that a student is never seen when he or she is studying full time.

BUT if she's really not there, at your university, then it FURTHER STRENGTHENS YOUR BOND.

Why? Because, when she came to university, HER PATH CROSSED WITH YOURS ON BOTH OCASSIONS.

It is possible she's doing some internship or some job in tje city and comes time to time at university?
Otherwise, it is weird enough that students are allowed to miss so many classes or its some kind of invisible force that allows her to be elusive which is obviously fake.

Be patient and I know its difficult and very hard but you guys have something. I would still have hope if I were you.

[Asker]

My heart is extremely heavy. Today, I just broke a lot, on many levels. Don't feel well at all. I ll never be the same again. I know of this. Ever since, we separated, I haven't been the same. Will never be. I don't expect anything. I know I got dream but it seems highly unlikely.
I dont know what i did to deserve this

[LalaIbby90]

Seems like you’re life spun around 180 degrees after meeting here. Why did you break today in particular?

[Asker]

I'm not sure exactly. I had a class so I saw loads of students and she wasn't anywhere. That was enough to make me sad. Then I got extremely negative and broke. I replayed all our times together and that broke me even more.

It did. People even comment how I need to smile and cheer up. No matter how much I smile or laugh, my face has a hint of sadness which people pick on. Numerous times I ve asked are you okay at shops. Again this happened today.

[LalaIbby90]

Oh no! That’s not great. :( :(
Do you ever wish she never reciprocated so that you’re not in pain?

[Asker]

Yes I ask myself every day. Why reciprocate. Why do all this. Even now why she still looked at me but will not come near me. Had she never done this, this wouldn't have happened. I would be fine at least.

[Asker]

Also I dont think we are going to happen but why did i vet dreams. Why we cross paths. So many questions with no answers.

[LalaIbby90]

Boo!!! :(

Nah all these signs, all these dreams I reckon it will happen but because it’s not happening now you’re becoming too negative and believing it won’t. :(

Why do you think she didn’t ask you out other than ignoring?

[Asker]

:( :(

I think it was mainly the ignoring. Because she looked like she would talk more

[LalaIbby90]

Bummer!!! That must have scared her away :(

[LalaIbby90]

Funny thing is she still likes you tho based on last encounter. You ignored her and here she was still looking at you. I don’t really understand her tbh. But you’re lucky, she’s got deep feelings for ya!

[Asker]

But what kind of love is this where she's not coming to meet me? Do u think she's at this uni anymore? It seems doubtful. I think she's in the city but not at uni. Coz how can anyone never be seen except 2 times?

This makes me think how we will talk etc as per my dream. I want a private 1on1 thing so dont really want to meet her among crowds. Unless there are less people and we meet up. Coz in my dream i remember it was just 2 of us 1 on 1. And then she held out her hand and asked how I was and we talked and texted and i do remember i asked her where she's from and she replied in my dream

[LalaIbby90]

You guys do need a 1:1. You two are too shy around crowds and from memory she doesn’t like being obvious around crowds but likes to talk to you alone? If that’s the case then yes a 1;1 would be better because she actually may flirt with you more obvious and confess because no ones around? She seems the shy type and being alone with you would be better.

But as I said it takes a lot of feelings out of a girl to be ignored yet continue giving the guy attention. That’s some deep shit

[Asker]

But so far, I dont see how it will occur. It seems nearly impossible :/ she's not there at the uni ever. When she turns up, its completely unexpected. So I dont know how.

[LalaIbby90]

In he last day you’ve been so negative and it’s becoming worse. You were more hopeful in the last two three days 😬

[LalaIbby90]

Also worst case scenario if, and that’s if, you don’t end up together (which is doubt) wouldn’t you want to look at it optimistaicslly that you two DID share these moments together. That you two had mutual feelings. That you two wanted each other, shared the many eye locks/ staring / talking/ wooing. That you guy DID have something beautiful.

[Asker]

Whats the point of looking at it optimistically? It was meaningless. It never culminated into anything. There is npthing positive in having a beautiful bond with someone only to be cruelly removed from them forever. The pain, the anguish and the suffering which I got and will continue as long as I don't know when is not nice. 2 people met only to have nothing and harbour pain for the rest of their life? there's nothing optimistic on this :/

I had another dream. In it I was asking someone about her and someone brought her to me. She had a very serious face as if she was sad or angry with me. But later on she was normal again. I don't know whats going on

[Asker]

I never wanted anything in life. Just love but didn't get it so had stopped looking for it. All I thought was who was my partner and he came into my life. I used to be so happy but it was also snatched.
Since the last 7 months the pain I have been through is unbearable.

And on top of it I got dreams. Now if it doesn't come true isn't it tricking and cheating? Life would literally make a disgusting joke on me. Its no longer beautiful. Its a case of pure ugliness and cruelty. The fact she remembers me is won't do any good for her too. Imagine the sadness and anger she must have. there's nothing beautiful in this anymore.

[Doncastar]

Hmmm. Based off on your dream, I think she's hurt that is why you saw you look sombre. Its obvious. Both parties were hurt in this case. I still stand by the fact that one does NOT meet and cross paths repeatedly with someone to the point of dreams coming true of seeing them and having no signficant relationship with them. I will still say you guys WERE FATED AND ARE FATED.

You honestly should stay positive. Negative energies attract negativity much easily. I understand your frustration and despair but wait. If I am correct then your dreams of crossing with her manifested within a span of 7-20 days? So now wait. She ll probably show up unexpectedly and based off on the last , you guys will talk.

[Doncastar]

Fucking autocorrect *saw her looking sombre

[LalaIbby90]

If ur dreams come true or mean stuff then their you go... she must feel sad or angry like you described in the dream. I guess when you word it that way then yes it does seem ugly and painful :( :( booo
It is nasty when two people fell for each other and due to miscommunication and also lack of courage mixed in with separation resulted in this. I guess it’s hurtful because you think of all the stuff you two good have done together but then here you are nothing :(

You’re right you two are miserable and hurt. I hope one day you get to tell her what you really feel, get to hold her hand, look her in the eye and tell her she means the world to you.

It’s also weird that what you two developed was not a crush nor a liking. It all sounds like you two genuinely love each other and have this unexplained attraction.

[Asker]

Ya i saw her today in my dream and she looked seriously at me as if not happy. In my dream I asked a friend about her and she actually got her to me and initially I told my friend why she got her to me but then I looked at her face and it was serious. Like she's angry or just upset. I wonder if she really is.

That's why I hate this so much. It just destroyed us. I'm sure it her ego abd self esteem and it broke me too. Something that was so beautiful turned so sad.

I thought many times what of she just had a crush but I guess the last time when she kept watching me after ignoring me and seeing me after 6 months, I think it was not crush from her side too.
We did hace an unexplained magnetic pull. I cannot describe it. When our eyes met, I felt blank. As if I couldnt concentrate or do anything. I haven't seen those eyes in person for such a long time. Its beyond painful. The love, the attraction, the pain are all unexplainable.

[Doncastar]

Hmm! I was thinking... Your dreams have appeared in reverse order. Like the end result of any relationship is marriage right? So U said U first saw the confession and holding hands.
Then U saw the fingers and thread.
And lastly the texting and talking.

This is in reverse order. Interesting as it is, I guess that's why its taking late to manifest? Its just a theory.. but 1st you guys gonna talk. Then the confession happens and U start dating. Then matters get serious and U propose.

So I guess U should see how this unfolds. U mentioned 2 times U saw encountering her and U did. This last dream. is epic as it shows the start. When and how it will happen we dont know.

[LalaIbby90]

You’re right. It destroy the both of you. It’s obvious that it would have hurt her self esteem and ego no doubt and it’s also obvious that it has broken you. I agree with this beautiful thing you two had turning into something that full of pain and sadness.

It’s true if it was a crush man in 6 months she wouldn’t bother watching you after the ignoring and all. She developed these feelings for you and as you said she must be in a lot of pain/ is angry and sad. Just like you.
That kind of stare is the kind when you know you’ve fallen in love. If you two looked into each other’s eyes and forgot about everyone else but we’re too focused on each other and getting lost when staring into each other’s eyes, that is love. That is deep love. It’s s kind of connection that not everyone experiences.
You miss seeing her face and eyes. Sucks :( :(
It sucks when two people want each other and the world separates them

[Asker]

I know. Thats why hurts so much. If it was just a regular one I wouldn't have bothered. I have had people giving me looks and none can equate this one. This was so different. It was like my dream came true. Never had someone looked at me like he did. When our eyes met, it was so different. We basically had to tear our eyes off. Otherwise i can say if she kept staring too, both of us could stare into each others eyes long time.

I saw her first and could never stop. I didn't see her for 6 days after seeing her for the first time but when I saw her again, I instantly recognized her and it all started. It was instant attraction. It is unexplainable. We come from different countries, race, religion but this bond and intensity is something so different.

I saw her look towards the main building the day she left. 6 months later she still looked. And my dreams. I am so desperate for us. haven't heard that voice, haven't seen those eyes for what seems like ages.

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah if it was unrequited whether you didn’t like her or she didn’t like you either of you wouldn’t have given a fuck. But because you two knew that you wanted each other “us” and then this separation happened plus some negative stuff added like the ignoring it made it complicated cruel and painful. If you’r ever 1:1 I really think she’ll say something or at least kiss you to make a statement. She is a talker after all

[Asker]

I dont see any possible scenario of how this will manifest. she's not visible at college. Even if she is then if she's with friends then there's no chance. Though i do think she's no longer at the university. Our uni has only 3 main buildings. Whenever she was there, she would be seen.

But I dont know why she came to college if she wasn't here. I guess we were fated to see each other again maybe thats why.

I dunno how and what fate has in store for us. As per my dream we met and started chatting. How this will happen is beyond me. Doncaater is also saying my dreams are in reverse order. I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

Your dreams are consistent.
They’re vivid.
They’re frequent.
A lot of them manifest into reality

My guessing is that your dreams are “foretelling” what will happen. You’re going to meet her at a door like in your dream. It may not even be related to your college.
It may be a door at the restaurant. It may be a door at a party. It may be a door at an office. It may be a door in the shops. But it seems like you’re going to run into her at an entrance somewhere and catch each other by surprise. Your gonna talk. It’s gonna lead to exchanging numbers. Talking and texting. Then confessing. Then dating. Then hand holding and hugging. Then you proposing and you tying it around her finger means she’ll say yes.

[Asker]

Had another dream. 1st one was so stupid like she was married and has a kid while she's studied here and we know she's not married or is a mom. Then i had crazy dreams showing how my male pet became female and laid eggs smh

The 2nd one was more serious. I just saw her from behind. She had her old hairstyle and was carrying a black bag. So its been 3 days of consistent dreams tho 1 was worthless

[Doncastar]

"Two people connected by
the red string of fate
Are destined lovers
Regardless of the time, place or circumstance
It may stretch, or tangle
BUT NEVER BREAK"

That's for you, @asker 💘

[Asker]

:/ :/ :/ What kind of fate is this. Punishing us so cruelly :/ How is it even possible in soul connections? :/

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar where do u get this stuff from like the reverse dream, the soulmate, the number stuff and now this quote? Lol. i feel so unspiritual 😳

Here I am only giving what I know of how girls act and what my boyfs been saying as well

[Asker]

Had another dream. Now its 4yth day of consecutive dream. Avain she didn't lòok happy. Was looking sad and serious. She was sitting with friends and I think we saw each other and I noticed she was looking through the corner of her eyes but pretending she wasn't.
I don't know whats going on. Suddenly the dreams have increased

[LalaIbby90]

Oh nooooo :( she may be sad or angry IRL.

Damn! Man! If your dreams are real like they’ve proven a couple of times... she’s having a rough time atm. She probably is either losing hope or she’s angry that nothing has happened/ or that you’ve ignored her. So as you said previously it’s destroying both of you.

Like a destructive love. I think if you’re fated it must be really hurting the both of you that you’re not seeing each other

[Asker]

I ve seen her looking thoughtful and sad in my dreams before as well. Like during August and July. So yeah its really hurting. I dunno what will happen in future.

I always end up on the we won't get together side but then I think if that is the case why the dreams, why the signs and we bumped into one another again and why some dreams relating to our meeting came true.

It hurts like hell. Going to the same place where we shared so much is beyond painful. I'm only waiting for the texting dream to come true but since the laat 4 days ahes been appearing a lot in my dreams. I wonder why.

[LalaIbby90]

She’s probably struggling with her feelings. She’s probably trying to move on or forget about you but it’s not that easy for her and she’s sad/ angry. Like she’s probably in the same position, wants to be with u but not knowing whether it’ll ever happen :(

[Asker]

U also think we won't happen right?

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 I found it on Instagram. Felt it resonates with his situation.

I mean what else can we call it other than fate. It wasn't fate these two would be around all the time just like he sees most people. The fact someone entered unexpectedly and the whole thing he describes, I cannot find a word for it other than fate.

I'm sorry for your pain @asker but I hope U guys find each other soon as I doubt U won't be the same without being with her.

[LalaIbby90]

Wtf @asker I didn’t say that. I don’t know whether it’ll happen but fro everything all the signs and dreams I think it may happen because your dreams come true they’re not a fluke

[Asker]

Hmmm :/ :/ you know i honestly think I wish we never met. I wish I never showed interest. This wouldmt have happened. What was i thinking. Falling for a someone before the holidays. I am so dumb.

[LalaIbby90]

You think if you didn’t show interest she wouldn’t have showed you interest? WHere you the one to start?

I don’t think the holidays is the problem. I think you two are the problem to be frank. You have you talking issues and we have her “who knows” what issues. Both of you don’t know how to communicate with one another or even act around the other. One of you really just had to say “I like you and I was wondering if you’re interesting in hanging sometime”. That’s it. Like she could’ve done that during the time she spoke to you before you ignored. You know? But I don't know she may be the one who waits for a guy to make the move

[Asker]

Yeah it was basically me. I saw her and got whipped instantly. Then she saw and she got whipped. But it was from my side that I began. I started giving her those eyes and she reciprocated back.

Agree :/

[Asker]

We aren't fated. Actually we were ill fated. Thats why this happened. I saw so many interacial couples including ny own friends today who got together so easily but only we had to suffer. Its ill fate. Until some miracle happens which I dont thi nk will happen, I think its obvious its not happening.

[Doncastar]

:( 😡 U need to focus. I know its extremely frustrating and heartbreaking but U need to. If U keep attracting negativity then its gonna go very wrong.. Focus!

[LalaIbby90]

She must feel the same way hence your dreams.

Guess you two at giving up on the whole “us”

[LalaIbby90]

Are ***

[Asker]

I'm not giving up :/ I'm lost. Its hard. Its like u gain hope and its smashed every single day. I wait every day for some miracle. But it never happens. I keep replaying my memories but it hurts even more.

I admit i dont want to see her in crowds or with loads of pple as it won't materialise but is life and destiny doing anything to make us meet? It is not so what do i assume?

We are together in my dreams. The whole talking to dating to fiance stage is there but in reality its far worse.

Its just I'm too frustrated and helpless. I don't know what to say or how to react. I have no words.

I feel the same as it was in July and early August that I saw her so serious and thoughtful in my dreams so if she's sad and upset then i can feel her pain. he has no idea how I feel the same. Its been 10 days i think since the texts dream. Or maybe 8 or 9.

[LalaIbby90]

Mhmmmm. What if you end up seeing her with her friends or crowds or whatever. What then?

Have any of your friends advised you how to approach or what to say when u see her

[Asker]

Probably won't as I doubt she's here but if zi do zi dont think she will talk to me. Last time she just looked away as her friend was around. So i dont think she will talk.

Tho she's not always with friends all the time so I would wait and then approach when she's by herself that day.

[Asker]

Now I want to laugh. Since morning I encountered pple who study her one of her religions language and now I see a book with her first name coz she shares her name with a famous politician. Life always playing jokes on me -_-

[LalaIbby90]

Alll signs. Signs everywhere. The world is not plaaying jokes (well kind of) but it’s signs that she’s meant to be yours. Fated

[Asker]

:/ I had borrowed a book which is not listed in my course but I took it as I'm interested in this topic and that includes a co writer from her country :/ Talk about driving me crazy now :/ A few days ago even my flatmate brought the bread which comes from her country and is titled that way as well :/

[Doncastar]

Its signs all over the place. I agree with @Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah you’re getting a lot of signs. It’s dreams and signs and it’s been pretty heavy the past week or so it seems! It may be either because you’re going to see her soon or because life is tying to tell you she is not okay or that it’s fated or all the above

[Asker]

I hope she's ok. I can know my pain so if she's in a similar dilemma then I can totally understand hers :/ I pray to god that this time its not like just see-stare-go away thing. I genuinely want this misery to end so i pray if we are going to see each other then i hope we finally talk and get rid of all miscommunication or misunderstandings.
But i wonder how it is gonna happen like just how. When i think of it, it seems nearly impossible but I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

I hope so too. You do need to talk 1:1. But can you talk if her friends ar there or your friends whoever the crowd is or do u think you two will be too self conscious about it and the only way it’ll happen is 1:1

[Asker]

Judging by her behavior she won't like it if I try. She seemed like she wanted just 2 of us like me so after these issues, i think its better if we sort everything out alone. That way at least we can talk, exchange nos and stuff without pple intruding both of us getting conscious. Like she stared at me and we locked eyes when she was alone but she looked away when she knew she had a friend around. So :/ maybe we will be comfortable once we cement our status. Right now its intense unspoken passionate love i guess

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah I guess a place where you two aren’t self conscious about what you’re saying or doing is best because u don’t want to think about it while trying to get to the point. And from memory she was the type that didn’t like being obvious with her feelings while people are around she liked being subtle. She probs won’t appreciate it if you said anything with others around. Plus when the confession happen a make out session is needed and with people around I don’t think that’s going to happen. So yeah go for alone. Based on your dream it seems like it’ll be only you two at some doorway or entrance. I would laugh hard if it was a doorway to a bedroom. 🤣🤣 but yes alone to feel comfortable with each other and be in peace that there’s no one there and you guys can really talk followed by a long make out session 😉

[Asker]

Bedroom? I get it but pple always make these bedroom jokes when I tell them. One said he would nedd to send another bed as he's sure my bed will be in pieces after bringing her home :/ :v

[LalaIbby90]

BAHAHA! You probably would need another bed sent off your way once you’re done. I won’t be surprised!!!

I think we’re all making bedroom jokes because it’s clear as day both of you not only want each other as partners but want each others *cough* you know what. Like your staring I think is at a level where you just want to jump each other’s bones. Your friends and I should bet on this. You two once confession happens forget it, you two will be in heat. Make out session and whole night of satisfactory moans. Sympathies towards your bed, flat mate and neighbours. I think we all think at that point the two of you will not give a fuck because you two will be too preoccupied with each other and way too intimate to even think about anyone but you two and what your bodies are doing.

[Asker]

Lol i know it was intense. I am not sure how it will happen. Its just so sad that our level of wanting each other is so high but look where we are. The staring level is definitely bone jumping

[LalaIbby90]

I guess everyone (your friends and us here on GAG) have realised how high your desire is for each other. How much you two want to jump bones with each other and how much you guys want to be a couple. it is sad. Because even tho I believe you’ll be something together and no one knows how but possible how your dreams have showed it to be. But it’s still sad that time is precious and you two aren’t even talking let alone dating and sharing nice memories together. Yeah the staring between you two sounds heavily intense! I don’t know how either of you had self control when around each other. Like with that level of sexual attraction usually something does happen in my experience. In these cases I know that usually it starts out with sex and then dating happens because that’s how high the sexual tension is. But with you two not even sex happened :/

[Asker]

Time is precious indeed. Just 12 weeks of school. If she's here then its a regular feature of never seeing her and if she isn't then even higher possibility. When we aren't even sharing anything, not seeing each other, no matter how many signs or dreams I get, there's no point :/ I fear that all she will be is a memory and I am scared that it seems like it's going that way :/

[Asker]

She studied history primarily so lots there are way too many historian mentions going around :/

[Doncastar]

I dont understand if nothing is gonna happen between you two birds, then why all these meetings? Why all these dreams? Why these signs? I dont think its all happening because of nothing. There has to be something to it.. I refuse to believe that after so much synchronicity, the outcome was close to none. Something IS GOING TO HAPPEN that I am sure of. Honestly I have a lot of faith in this but if you two don't end up together, then I guess none of the synchronicity or such exists. Because I fail to grasp how 2 lovers with so much happening between them and the blatant synchronicity and fate not even end up together and there was literally NO LESSON TAUGHT.
Bad karmic partners or lovers teach us a lesson and go away. In your case, I don't see any sort of lesson..

[Asker]

Had another dream which felt as if it was real until i opened my eyes.
I was broken last night so I fell asleep in pain and praying we come together.
In this dream i saw her giving me a hug and wishing new year. We also had our eye contacts. We talked and too but it was a weird situation like she was in class and so was I and some student from her class came up and informed our teacher how there was a fight going on. Yeah so we were basically eyeing each other and got close too like when we met, the hug happened. I also saw myself laughing.
It felt so real until i woke up :/ dunno what this means

[LalaIbby90]

Oh no you sound like you really miss her! Booo! :(

I think that dream is manifesting what you really want. It may happen but then wow that’s like a year away. I’m kneeling that you’ve wanted her to hug you and wish you a happy new year, maybe because you wanted to spend it with her? The whole class situation it just seems you kiss sharing those eye contact moments with her. From what I gather you wanted to hear her wishing you a happy new year, want those eye moments together and want to hug her and hence the dream. Not sure if this is possibly what u think

[LalaIbby90]

Miss *

[Asker]

Judging by how nothing is happening, it could be. I dont really pay attention to every detail in my dream because when they manifest in reality, certain things are different. Like both times when I saw crossing paths, the locations of both places where we crossed paths were different. Like 1 dream had a mountain road where we met and the other was another place. Plus in both dreams he had longer hair when in reality when crossed paths at university and her hair was shorter.

So not really paying attention to the convo. But yeah I dunno. I was very upset last night.

I'm dreading in what mental state I will be when I finally leave this country. I came here thinking I will move forward in life but will leave completely shattered and deeply heartbroken.

[Asker]

Also thinking of quitting the university. My exams are in may and have deadlines by April. In this kind of mental state I will surely not pass my course. ,

[LalaIbby90]

I think u really miss her tbh and that was why you had that dream. You want that interaction with her and your craving it bad

[Asker]

Yeah. I guess so. I guess I should drop the whole thing and go home. I won't be able to work here and its painful. It all seems like it means nothing. Otherwise we would have met by now and had something. I think I'm honestly waiting for something which will never happen. My friend also sajd i need to accept we will never see each other again.

[LalaIbby90]

I guess it sucks because something so great between you two has turned into nothing so far and you’re losing hope every day! Stick by your guts and feelings I’d say! One day these feelings of pain will be a memory while her face will be what is reality

[Asker]

Why do ypu still think we can happen? :/ even doncaster and my japanese friend are still sticking to it. How are you guys so optimistic?

[Doncastar]

Even if she's not there at uni can you tell me why she met you on BOTH ocassions she came there? Such a coincidence, no?

[Asker]

Funnily there was a massive protest which we conducted today and she wasn't there when she usually came to see many of them. However as i was returning back feeling dejected i saw a group of people belonging to her religion, from another university doing rallies on the streets. Never saw this before. And there was this signboard relating to her country. I don't know whats going on.

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe it’s a sign that those group of people or country will play a major part of your life in the future. You know? Like when you get with her there’s no doubt you’ll mix with her friends, family, group. They’ll probably be a lot from her country and her religion. Those group of people from that country and religion will play a big role because they’ll become a part of your circle too. Maybe getting to see them more is a way of showing you that you’ll be mixing with a lot of them in the future. One day her family friends and group will also be your family friends and circle you connect with

[Asker]

Maybe. There were a lot of them saying something in their own language so couldnt understand it but weird. I'm just waiting for her return to my life. These signs are great but the main person should come too u know :/

[LalaIbby90]

I find it interesting that you’ve also held on and haven’t decided to just ‘move on’ to some other girl that you found pretty.

[Asker]

What we had was special. However if she doesn't return then she will probably find someone as she's pretty. I'm already scared that she found someone but I'm feeling hopeful again esp after last night but so far, nothing :/

[LalaIbby90]

What if she had the same worries that u found someone. She knows nothing about you either and hasn’t seen you since nov/dec. She may be scared you found someone else too.

[Asker]

Yeah she may :/ I hope she got the message that I still like her. But yeah until we return to each other, both of us are going to have the same worries and pain I guess :/

[Asker]

there's a lot of mentions of everything that is related to her and us.

[LalaIbby90]

Hmmm. See you got the message she still liked u in the last encounter when she was looking at you. But yet you still worry so much she found someone else since u saw her last. I’m guessing if you have that worry so does she. I’ve definitelt had that worry before I was dating my guy. So I won’t be surprised if she’s freaking out whether you still want her or met another girl. As you said both of u are in pain and worried shitless and that won’t go away until fate gets you together. She has no idea, you have no idea no one does when that will happen. But it’s being pushed by fate very slowly and cruelly like u said.
And what kind of mentions that is related to the both of u?

[LalaIbby90]

And so adorable. You’ve mentioned “us” a couple of times now. You already see each other as one entity. Sorry I’m just finding this cute.

[Asker]

I sony know how long will it take :/ time is limited :/

The mentions like history and historian , which she studied and identified herself on academia page as having knowledge in historical perspectives. Then the constant mentions of her religion, country, nationality and yesterdays sudden procession. Then I see June so much. Thats the month we met and fell for each other. Its way too frequent and my dreams are already around. Coming up in full force at times then vanishing for a few days.

[LalaIbby90]

Mhmmmm. Let’s say I don't know fate has you getting together somehow somewhere in the next couple of years (because who knows that may be the case)? What’s your position? How will you endure the pain from now till then or what will you do?

[Asker]

I doubt that will happen. When we are off in separate continents its just not possible. Its not even happening while being in the same city so i think its nearly impossible

[Doncastar]

I think there are way too many signs right now. So I think U should remain hopeful and expect her soon. I do not think with so many signs, one cannot expect her to return. I strongly feel she will. Like in spiritual or soul connections, the connectivity stops once the karmic ties or bonds are over. So I would say keeo your hopes up.

Unless its May and she's still not a part of your life then what else could I say.. It would be very hard for me to believe that spiritual synchronicity doesn't exist and is a facade.

[Asker]

Again I am seeing a lot of "June" . Each time I see it, I am reminded. Including the date we first met. :/

I guess if we dont happen till March or April , I will be at my worst. As just 2 months later, I will leave and will never see her ever again.
I lost her in July last year. So I guess I lost us forever. If we were to happen, we could find ways to stay with each other. If she was staying here, I would stay too. If she was going home then I would offer to take her with me. But look at the current situation :/ only stuff related to her and us. The actual person is never there :/

[LalaIbby90]

My guy says next time you see her, regardless of who she’s with. Just go up to her and ask if you can talk to her on the side. Take her to the side and say something to her. That way you’re not in a crowd, she doesn’t feel embarrassed and you guys get alone time. He says just say “hey how you been, mind if we spoke for a bit” and walk off both of you alone and talk. Because if you’re going to wait until she’s alone that may never happen and you may lose her. He wishes you luck man

[Asker]

She probably will pretend I don't exist but I will give it try. I doubt she ll like it. She may even refuse to talk or walk off but anyways.
My inner gut feeling does tell me I will see her again because whenever I think I won't, something inside me says no or feels like its an empty thought.

Anyways, I dunno. I have so much to do and here I am always thinking of us :/

[LalaIbby90]

Why would she think u don’t exist. She looked at u last time meaning... she wants u to know she exists and that she knows u exist too lol?
And you will see her based on your dreams, not buying the whole ‘not going to see her’ you will. You just have to be yourself, nervous or not, go up to her and ask if you can have a minute to talk. If she likes you she’ll walk off with you. If she doesn’t she won’t. She likes you so our bet is she’ll walk off with you and feeling so hopeful

[Asker]

Yeah but last time she was alone. And before our romance was fresh so both of us were whipped and wanted to be around each other a lot so we would give each other the love eyes even though everyone was around tho nobody noticed us except once my friend caught me staring at her because i was talking to him but staring at her even though she had her back to me which was lol tbh.

Now I dont know how she will react. she never liked public talks plus she didn't really stop last time we met so thats why I'm fearful

[LalaIbby90]

But you have t face that fear. Because if you don’t approach her next time if she’s in a crowd then guesss what? You just let her slip again and there’s no one to blame but yourself. There’s so much fate could do, but some things you gotta take into your own hands. Who gives a shit how she acts? At the end of the day YOU tried and you can say you did all you can but SHE ruined it. Then it’s her fault. She let you go. But I doubt she would do that. She wants you to approach her and ask her out based on last encounter and you’ve just been a disappointment since July last year. So face that fear and just do it. Stop thinking about what she likes or what she doesn’t like, because you barely know her. You may have it all wrong.

[Doncastar]

By the way whats the date u guys first met?

[Asker]

I will try to. But I doubt she will :/ especially in such a delicate situation, at least I still have feelings. I dont want to lose us so yeah but wil try. I pray I get a smile at least. That itself is very welcoming. Last time we saw each other, she looked normal. So maybe.

We first met on 6th June last year. Then on 12th. And kept seeing each other till 29th June though i did see her on 3rd July when she was looking towards the main area where we would always meet. Talked on 26th June.
And I see June so much. Today I was watching a video which was posted on 6th June last year. And another article was posted on 6th June which i read couple of days back :/

[Doncastar]

Signs all around ❤ And it's so cute that you remember all these dates 😍

[Asker]

Saw another dream. In this she was looking around like as if she was searching for someone. I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe she’s searching for answers. Maybe she’s searching for you?

Your flat mate still think it’s going to happen

[Asker]

Yeah he said there's a high chance of us meeting again. He said I need to go and be positive. Even my japanese friend was like there's way too many signs.

U know I went to my uni on Saturday and I was sitting in the same common room (making notes on the presentation I have to give on her religion ) where we first discovered each other and i just played the same song that was playing when we were there and it kinda hurt so much. The only difference is that the place was empty otherwise same place, same song just the person was not there.

But he needs to come if she's searching for me and answers. Knows I m here. I know its impractical to just come and loiter around for someone but unless she does it, what are the chances?

[Doncastar]

Hugs! So sorry to hear what you are going through :( ! You guys are the saddest love story I ve heard. Totally understand the nostalgia and reminiscing!

With all these signs and dreams, you two should reunite. As long as you are in the country, don't lose hope!

[Asker]

I'm giving up. Nothing happens and nothing will happen. We had a protest again and as usual not there. I guess i will have to live with my heart brutally broken. When she was leaving whay play games like this. I think its clear these signs teally meant nothing nor did the dreams. I was stupid to hold onto hope and dreams which were mostly my unfulfilled wishes. When a person is never there it is not possible to trxt or hold hands or confess.

Anyways thanks for all the help all these months. We were never meant to be.

[Doncastar]

Don't give up cmon :( !

Don't be so rash in your decisions and thoughts! I know the situation is not exactly bright but have faith! Cmon @asker!

[Asker]

No thank you :) not anymore :) the pain is unbearable but i have to live with it :) its better to live in reality than in a dream world. I guess maybe 1 day the pain will go away and so will all our memories and maybe then i can feel better again but as of now i can't. I need to accept that we can never be together, we were never meant to be and I will never see that face in person again :)

[Doncastar]

I'm speechless... I am extremely sorry @asker. No one deserves this type of pain.. I am amazed how you just saw that person for just a few days and discovered love and that love had such a deep impact on you.. Its beautiful yet painful.. I pray for your well being and I pray you guys meet again and fall in love all over again :)

[Asker]

She's gone :) We will never meet :) Only in my dreams or my memories now :) I just know I will forever treasure our memories together. I know he won't remember me but I will. I discovered my first love in the summer of 2017. She maybe gone but never forgotten :) at least to me.

[Doncastar]

Legit tearing up don't say that!! @Lalabby90 look at this shit!

I cannot believe all my spiritual conclusions were wrong? Really? I can't.. You are making me question everything I believe in. I am a spiritual person and highly believe in synchronicity

I'm sorry for you. I'm really sorry if you feel I misleaded you. I genuinely believe in this and so I gave you the informations. I'm sorry dear @asker.

Be strong. Have faith. You will see that face again!

[Asker]

And how? It meant nothing. Ot was just games from her part. She knew she was leaving yet played games with me. she's not here then how will i see her face? please stop making delusional statements

[Doncastar]

Delusion? It's not delusion :/

[LalaIbby90]

Sure man! She was playing games. If that’s what you want to believe, then sure. Poor girl anyways.

[Asker]

Ok then why is this happening if its not the case? :/ if she's here then why not coming? If she was leaving then why pursue tell me :/

[Doncastar]

31st January is blood moon. Lunar eclipse. It is potent and whats your sign? To give U informations, it is capable of bringing back people from past , reuniting past lovers etc. Have faith

[Asker]

:( i dont think so :( if she has left the country then how? And if she's here then she's obviously making no effort to see me :(

[Doncastar]

I would say wait till Feb. If nothing happens then I'm afraid you will have to move on. What else I can say :/ @Lalalbby90 what do you suggest? I reckon he does have a point. She isn't coming at all which sucks!

[Asker]

3 dreams in 1 night :( first a pic then she's cycling and third was us having a staredown. Woke up in the morning to find news related to her country :/ well I don't know if there's anything. I did check my zodiac predictions. Claims relationships are going to happen after this eclipse. Who knows :/

[Doncastar]

Interesting. I would still hold on to hope. If predictions say it and there are signs then I think should see what Feb has in store. Maybe fate has planned an epic meeting which will culminate into something big and constructive :) !

[Asker]

Well ok i guess :/ will give one more shot on hope :/ its hard but lets go for it once more. Its like the same old shit but a different day. Going with hope coming back with nothing. I wonder how she is :(

[Doncastar]

That's awesome. Happy to hear. I really pray your misery ends. Its sad how 2 people fell for each other yet are kept apart from each other. I REALLY think this month you shall receive the news you are dying to hear. With signs and dreams and now forecasts, it seems highly plausible. Just keep your eyes and ears open

[Asker]

But why doesn't she make any effort to meet me if she still likes me :/ @Lalalbby90 said she does but if she's here then why not seeing me. there's 0 effort :/

[Doncastar]

I ve always said fate. U guys didn't meet like regular couples. Or by chance. It seemed like the whole universe conspired to get U guys to know each other. Like U said the whole campaign occured after the term ended, U guys started seeing each other etc.

Its so obvious. Its hella conspired event which brought U two together. Called fate. U guys crossing paths after 6-7 months. She crosses paths with U when she comes lmao how obvious it is.

So I dont blame her. Its literally FATE. U guys met after term. Things went haywire and U were in each others eye. U talked. Seoarated. Then encountered each other 2 fucking times. Dreams relating to her coming true. It IS fate.

So unless the next fated day, U guys aren't going to meet. Also it could be a number of things most likely the ignoring thing.

She ignored U. U ignored her. That itself might have crushed all hopes. Even though she saw U staring, she would still feel she ignored U hence U wouldn't talk to her after what happened.

[Doncastar]

If she's at the uni but never showing up it could be she's doing independent study and has very few modules. She knows U are here and just avoids coming as she's embarassed, hurt, sad, angry, fearful and dejected just LIKE U.

She WAS staring at U. I mean why would anyone do that if they have forgotten or don't care.

I guess when fate will start playing its part, she will again come, probably this time with a hopeful and welcoming attitude and will be approachable.

Thats what I think. @Lalalbby90 what do you think? Yay or Nay?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I agree. There’s a possibility that both will lost hope and it may be years before they actually end up together. It doesn’t necessarily have to be now. It could be that they run into each other somewhere and suddenly they talk, exchange nos and get together. Like I don’t see it happening soon. It may. But there’s a chance it may not. There’s a chance where he may lose hope and move one. She may lose hope and move on but years down the track they may be reunited because of fate. Because they’re meant to be, maybe then meeting now was the initial stage. Both established they have strong feelings and attraction towards one another. But then fate seperated then and I think it’s for a reason. Theyre meant for each other but maybe not now! I think it’ll happen at the right time when the world wants it to happen. I have a feeling it won’t be anytime soon and it’ll be when both have forgotten each other and suddenly bump into each other

[Asker]

Its not possible. Because she's older than me and she will get married. So there's no chance of happening years after when 2 people live in different continents and one is older. The dreams and signs are happening now so I don't know how it can be years after which isn't possible. Both will leave and mpve on with different partners. She may even be married considered in her culture age is important.

But thanks anyway for somehow saying u dont think its going to happen

[Asker]

Aldo why would we exchange nos years later :/ whatever we had happened last year. So it is fresh and we remember it and each others faces. Years after this wouldn't even have a place for her esp and maybe me too. Yeah we would be like there was 1 person I fell in love with at university but that too would be faint.

We werent friends or exes. We are still strangers. Maybe acquaintance

[LalaIbby90]

Called fate mate. Unexplainable. Some things don’t always have an answer. They happen because it’s fates.

[Asker]

But why do i get dreams and signs now? I read that when a connection breaks off and pple reunited years later then yhey start having these signs. Why now if we are going to meet years later?

If she's doing work or internship here I can't be here as i will leave unless we are together and I stay back to be with her.
she's not coming to my country. I live in a different place which is up north and ahe won't come there to live or study.
So how? Plus most soulmates or so called TFs use this to break marriages and homes and considering she's older, she would be married with kids and i dont want to see that sight.

[Doncastar]

I think I found the lesson in your story @asker. I think this separation period was to teach U to unconditionally love this person who came into your life. U did. We have no clue what she feels or is experiencing. But hopefully she's loving U unconditionally as well if we take that stare into account.

I'm not sure about years later reunion but I would watch out in February. As the lunar eclipse has sat down in Aquarius, bringing love and relationships, reuniting old flames and from 15th Feb there is a half eclipse cementing these relationships. So watch out. S

[Asker]

Ok but still I'm sceptical :/ I did read the predictions so it sounds all good but who knows :/

[Doncastar]

Well U need to be optimistic then. I gave linked webpage for more informations. U check your sign then tell. I am sorry U have to rely on all this but what else can U do. But on a brighter side, it does say love and reunions with people from past SPECIFICALLY PAST SIGNFICANT LOVER/PERSON. So be open and hopeful. After all hope is what the world relies on. Millions of vegans are fighting the battle to save animals on hope. And they are winning. Its always dark before the dawn dude. Wait and see. I am sure U will encounter her this month. The lunar eclipse happened after 150 years and venus has shifted in relationship sector.

[Doncastar]

www.google.co.uk/.../amp

What do U think @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

It hurts a lot, my heart is in pieces but yes i love so much. I dream all day of caring and loving. Making her happy is my utmost goal. Doing whatever makes her happy. Not caring for my needs only hers. I have no ego anymore. I'm ready to be treated rudely by her if she wants to. I fell in love and 7 months later, still couldnt get over what happened last June. Life always brought such situations whether inside or outside of me which never made me move on.

I'm even ready to be rejected. Just want to see and talk. If I'm rejected okay i dont mind. If he no longer likes mr I'm okay with that too. My heart will break even more but at least i won't feel i could never confess. I did and if she chose to reject me then ok. I still won't hate or forget.

he will always be my first true love. Someone who stole my heart and made me happy as long as we were seeing each other. I can never forget 6th of June :)

[Doncastar]

😭😭😭 This literally made me sad. I wish she could read this!! But we ain't giving up either 😁 Yes life is hard and is torturing U but fear not as the new period has begun. U saw the meeting and having a conversation dream didn't U? it could take place now.

U need to have hope. And U know what, I'm sure U guys are gonna have a really beautiful relationship. Having so much affection and love for a person U were separated from 7 months ago, it's rare. I hope U guys meet really soon and commence a new beautiful chapter in life. 6th June 2017 will come again my dear I hope and pray for U! 💖💖💖

[LalaIbby90]

That’s really sweet. I told you you are in love with her but previously you never admitted to it. Guess you know now!
Your dreams have proved to be right. So you’ll meet her someday and when you do yes, just talk and even spit out “I like you” and look st her facial reaction and then say “I really like you.” Based on what we’ve heard from you, she hasn’t been able to move on either, so she’s likely still hung up on you. I think she dreams of the day you confess and the day you two get together. She doesn’t come off as the rude type I’m sure she’ll love and care for you too

[Asker]

:/ well just a few minutes ago I discovered a photo of her on facebook. I did have a dream of her pics on facebook which i dismissed as rubbish coz she doesn't have a fb but apparently her aunts account uploaded a photo of her a week ago. The photo looks old to me as she had much longer and fuller hair than what I saw 2 months ago. Also she's wearing summer clothes sp unless within 2 months her whole head sprouted really thick and much longer hair, its probably an old pic which i hope it is. I do remember that in some pics I saw of her, her hair took at least 1 year to reach her back so doubt within 2 months it grew long.
Plus she's wearing summer clothes so I don't know

[Doncastar]

Cool! See. by the way when did U have this dream? And no, nobody's hair grows that quick.

[Asker]

2 months ago I think. And 3 days ago I also saw a photo of her in my dream so could be a mix or the 1st one. It takes a lot of time for some dreams to come true while some happened quickly.

[Doncastar]

Well thats good then. Ur dreams do come true so I think U should really watch this month. What do U think @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

I hope what u are saying comes true :/ i hope everything goes back to how it used to be. It was all so beautiful and lovely by the way us

[Doncastar]

www.google.co.uk/.../editorial-article-amp.aspx%3fUniqueID=643&CRC=6AE4DC4A5174EE11579451FE81E27341

[Doncastar]

Yes what happened was beautiful. No doubt. But imagine how much more beautiful it will be in future. You two creating new memories. Be hopeful. What is true, will repeat itself again. If this person is you real soulmate, all your past memories WILL BE repeated once again, in a much better way. With no misunderstandings. Only true love.

[Asker]

Today twice I was shown of her country. Like the route I go through, they probably have an obsession with her country and they set up a stall dedicated to her nation. I was searching a book on the online library catalogue and the place where she is from was the publish location of the book. It keeps occuring all the time. I feel crazy. I feel fed up. I just dont understand why us? :/ I end up losing faith. I'm being reminded to let go of the past but how can I? I took loans just to stay here in order to be meet her again. I can't. My entire experience was ruined coz of our separation. Each day I go to the same place WE met and fell for each other. She doesn't come so she doesn't go through this. I do :/ I'm counting on these predictions. There is only 1 person i have a connection with

[Poppykate]

I truly feel for you. Look, I think that if you are fated to be with each other, your actions are actually stopping this from happening. Because you are always at the library, thinking that you will met this girl here. But fate may have other plans. But you are delaying these plans because you focusing on being in the wrong area. When the time is right, you will met! But you have to continue with your day, and just go with the flow.

[Asker]

I saw her todaym unfortunately it was bad again coz she was very much in hurry , had lunch with some staff pple within 5 mins and left saying she has to go to work. I couldnt talk at all but I did see her look once in between in the convo she was having with her friends!!! :/

[Poppykate]

Don’t give up. So she is still smiling in your direction? If she looks in your direction, try a smile and a wave. It’s only polite. But if it gets weird. Just pretend you were waving to someone else! Lol 😂

[Asker]

My friend said she kept walking multiple times. My back was towards her before I saw her and my friend said he saw her walk up and down multiple times.

[Asker]

She was in so much hurry. She finished her lunch within 5 minutes and I overheard her say she needs to go to work. I don't know but my friend did say she was looking at us multiple times (my back was towards her) and in by the way the convo with the staff pple she looked over towards me. She didn't look very happy tho. Very serious and ragged this time :/

[Poppykate]

She sounds like she is stress.

[Doncastar]

And yet again you too see each other! Tell me its not fate! So she did look at you!!! Great then. I suppose she works somewhere. Anything else that was noticeable?

[Asker]

Funny how 6th June 2017 was also Tuesday and I first crossed her at 12.35 acc to my phone's timing and today again around 12 pm. Today 6th feb is also Tuesday and 6th date.

Well she just looked serious. While getting lunch and seeking a place. Then she met her staff friends and took seat with them and had her lunch in within 5 minutes. Spoke a little bit, was a bit a off looking and then looked over to me and then talked to them and finally within 10 mins she was up saying she has to go to work.
She looked beautiful but serious and just gloomy type :/

[Doncastar]

Thats sad to be honest. Sad to hear she looked like she's stressed. It could also be the separation. If she looked at ypu again then it's obvious still HAS feelings and that could be 1 of the reasons why she looked serious. Work, Study, Personal life issues takes a toll. Just like U :(

U guys are each other's twin tbh. And yeah, 6th June - 6th Feb. Both tuesdays. I'm telling U , U guys ARE FATE.

The perfect timing IS gonna take place soon mark my words. When U two finally talk and get together. It's gonna happen soon.

[Asker]

She's here today. Saw her from the window while i was in class. Continously looking towards the main gate when she was outside walking from the main building to another. I come from the other way tho she she knows that but I don't know. Feeling nervous. Saw again now looking in both directions, roaming around 😣😣😣😣 I'm getting jittery. She has the visitor tag on her dress 😣😣😣

[Asker]

Well she's seen me and she's crossed by me 3 times but is not making eye contact. Clearly avoiding locking eyes with me now :/ what do I do

[Asker]

@Lalalbby90 @Doncaster @Poppykate pls respond

[Doncastar]

If she's avoiding looking at you then its clear she still has something which is making things awkward for her. I told U after the ignoring thing, she no longer has the face to talk or do anything directly. Unless U show her U like her, I'm afraid she will act like that :( What else was she doing?

[Asker]

I'm back home :/ feel she no longer likes me. However she did keep looking towards the areas where students enter the university. Like throughout her time outside, she kept looking around whether in conversation or when she was by herself :/

[Doncastar]

I think U need to catch her by herself and break the ice. Its clear if she was looking around the entrances and such then she WAS obviously looking for someone.

Just when U catch her off, smile and say hi and start talking.

[Poppykate]

@Doncastar I agree!

[Doncastar]

@Poppykate Yup. What these two need is a good old private talk which clears all misunderstandings. Not some rushed 5 minute chit chat. These two clearly wanted each other and hence the talk needs to solely just between each other. Gal was basically eye fucked by him shamelessly and was reciprocating. They NEED a proper talk!

[Asker]

It just never happens. We never talk. Plus with classes veing suspended due to teachers going on strike, she will never come. Its all over. I must say fate only makes us see each other. But no obvious connection. I'm literally just fed up of the same old situation.

[Doncastar]

@asker Ah fate.. Do U understand what fate is? It doesn't work that way. Stop blaming and breeding negativity!

Its ALL fated. It WAS fate which made U guys meet each other on 6th June. It WAS fate which made U guys talk on 26th June. It WAS fate which made U return back and encounter her in November and December. It WAS fate which made U see each other again on 6th Feb and 7th Feb.

This IS fate. U guys will only talk when IT IS FATED. WHEN IT IS PLANNED.

There is obviously some sort of soul connectiom between U too. Its obvious. U dreams to these signs to these encounters, this IS FATE. Now your conversation WILL also take place when IT IS FATED. Destiny has chosen a date. U will speak to one another and either commence a relationship or destroy the bond on that fated day.

This is fate @asker. U can't control it. Its all planned. And I strongly think, its planned to have U both together.

[Doncastar]

Also isn't your bae at university? She was there 2 days back to back. She's there probably doing ISP and something which contributes to her degree or placement.

[Asker]

Yeah she had access to library and all though she had a visitor tag on her dress yesterday but i did see someone point out the visitor tag plus it was for strike meeting so i doubt an ex student with no direct links to the university anymore would be concerned for this.

I get ur point but the distance is increasing isn't it. Its just sad. I'm unhappy with everything :/ I was going to talk but when I saw her avoiding looking at me I couldnt :(

[Doncastar]

Nervousness. Guilt. Hiding feelings and being unsure or feeling the other person doesn't like U anymore ARE also reasons why people do this.

[LalaIbby90]

What? You saw her!!! Mate! Wtf? And you didn’t say anything! Oh my god. WHAt is wrong with you? YOur just proving to her that you don’t like her !! Like she’s not looking becaus do she thinks you played games or you don’t like her a like her anymkre

[Asker]

I was going to but she kept avoiding eye contact :/ she came around me 3 times and saw me but didn't even look at me and when i thought i would say something she looked up then looked down and left. Plus there were some documents she was carrying around so she was never in 1 place.
She just avoided eye contact with me except 2 dats ago I saw her look over at me :/

[Asker]

But she said to her friends that she has to go to work so she left. I ran after her but she was basically running and told the reception guy who asked why she was leaving so quickly that she's going to get late and has to go to work :/

[Asker]

Another thing I had a dream but it was a bit disturbing. In it we were talking rather closely and even had sex but the sex was rather bloody as there was blood on sheets. It was a bit crazy this dream. My friend was joking that we should probably make up with sex and I kinda agreed to it but I dunno why this struck. Like we were being close and she got a call so she took it and next scene i saw was us doing the deed and there was blood :/

[LalaIbby90]

Yuycks does sound disturbing. Maybe it’s like what your friend told you that you guys would have make up sex. Likes it’s all messy and bloody now but you’ll have make up sex. Or maybe it’s foreshadowing to something else. Sex and bleeding is disturbingly intimate... not sure what it means. Unless it’s like something like how people accounted bleeding to virginity back in the days, maybe she’s a virgin. Must’ve sucked it was a dream only

[Asker]

It sucked truly :/ the only thing that was a bit off was the blood like why. She maybe a virgin as she comes from a country where such things are prevalent like u know virginity and such. Do virgins bleed tho? Because I ve read that mpst virgin girls did bleed for the first time but not sure :/

I do anticipate sex between us. The amount of tension we have right now and this avoiding eyes and so on. If everything goes well and proper then months of yearning plus the attraction we have can easily lead us onto this.

It bugs me why she can't just everyday instead of going into hiding then appearing 1nce in a blue moon. It would just open a lot more opportunities.

I did see thst she kept looking around while talking and she was also watching the people who were coming out of the main building. We saw each other and had eye contact but the scene was just like last year though its now avoiding eyes :/

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah some countries still believe in virginity till marriage and from what I read they do base it on bleeding. So countries like Pakistan, bangladesh, Middle East, India and so on. So most nations don’t anymore it’s something that was done back in the days but some countries still very well practice it. So if she’s coming from a certain country then she may likely be a virgin if that’s the cultural practice. Maybe it means she’ll give in and give you her V card... which is like a big thing. Because it’ll mean the attraction is so high that she gives it to you before marriage and goes against what she’s been taught. If your dreams come true I do think after talking you guys will do the deed but maybe your dreams are warning you not to be frightened if you saw blood? That’s she very well a virgin? And your mate keeps making sex jokes about you two.

[Asker]

I guess so. Coz I mean honestly we both looked at each other with rather thirsty eyes especially me.
And it still hasn't died down. When she was having lunch with her friends she did turn her head and look over once plus the amount of times she kept lookimg around and noticing people , so its probably and hopefully still there.

She maybe a virgin so its ok for me. It would really mean a big thing for her if she is as it would be like i was the first guy she slept with etc.

I'm just awaiting the day when we have the talk and just go on with each other in our lives. Its too much of a wait and pain. The scene is tensed and I don't know what she picked up. Must have gotten I'm angry or not going to talk to her after that day though :/

[Asker]

He does. He even said I should just buy new sheets and all. He does it all the time :/

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah she would’ve picked up that you’re pissed off and now she’s scared to talk to you and thinks you don’t want to talk to her that’s why she’s avoiding you.
Well yeah if she’s a virgin and she’s hung tight and hasn’t slept with anyone because of culture or religion or values then sleeping with you would be big. Because that would mean she loves you enough to give the V card away. Well now you know that if there’s blood the first time, don’t freak and scare her away.
Your friend is funny. At least he is supportive in a way. His joking is saying that he thinks you guys are going to happen or at least thinks you two have the hots for one another and could totally see it happening

[Asker]

I won't. Otherwise she ll think I just used her sexually.

Yeah I thought so too. Initially I was like she probs dont like me anymore but then I thought that if she didn't then why go to the extent of remembering my face, to avoiding eyes with me then lookimg at me then just being awkward. When people dont care then they give off these vibes that screams I just dont care anymore. From the first proper encounter, where I caught her staring to this, I just feel sad now.
We had such good chemistry and too much passionate contact.
I guess once the signal comes off that everything is still ok, she will be fine.

Apparently now in a similar way to June last year, there will ne strikes throughout February. She was there for the strike meeting. It seems ironical to me u know like 6th june- 6th feb, politucal campaign in june- political campaign in feb.

[LalaIbby90]

I really think she fell in love with you. It’s been months and she still likes you and all the tension is still there. She’s probably has doubt now and is too afraid to approach you or maybe she even feels kind of rejected.
If she knows she’s pretty, her ego may be hurt too. Does she look like someone who knows she’s pretty?

[Asker]

I am not sure if she thinks that way. She appears sociable and confident but in terms of looks I dunno. When I saw her on 6th feb she looked incredibly stressed and it hurt to see her look so fed up and stressed.

I wish she came often. We wouldn't be in this position if she was coming regularly. She works somewhere that I heard but I just want to make up and heal ourselves with all the pain the misunderstanding caused. It hurts to think of he feeling rejected, sad and hurt.

I think it was genuinely love at first sight for both of us. Along with this connection that we share. I dunno if she has dreams or signs but the fact without having my pics or anything and yet remembering me at least shows something stayed with her as well :/

[Asker]

and u know the friend i was sitting with and who noticed her first said my expression changed and my eyes went slightly red and teary upon seeing her. I don't know what to make out of this.

[Doncastar]

The lunar eclipse seems to work I think? Before the universe conspired to start a campaign after term ended so that U guys could fall in love.
Communication potential and relationship breakthrough is predicted so I can safely state U can expect a rebonding again.
Its solar eclipse on 15th I think so I really think by this month U guys will be at least talking and seeing each other like dates and all.
I really hope U guys work out all your pain and clear the air. Hopefully it will happen as all your dreams of her being at school, meeting her have come true so I don't think there's a lot to worry.

U know what, I honestly think U both are thinking the same thing. Like both wanting to talk but both being scared and nervous and acting up but harbouring lot of love and pain for each other.
Seriously U guys need to BE WITH EACH OTHER. This is soulmate stuff :/ But not to worry as fate seems to be at work :) !

[Asker]

I hope so :/ i am seeing too much of the signs as u guys call it. Its a bit strange coz its happening much more frequently than it used to. I keep seeing her country name everywhere on sites when it used to be ocassional before. It usually used to happen a few days before we would encounter each other but since the last couple of days, the sites i visit or something or the other related to her country pops up. Heck I even got an Alpro custard pack and 1 of the languages of instruction on the carton was in her native language. And the company only has instructions in English on their cartons so I don't know.
Same with other words relating to us.

[Asker]

Ok so i sawvher today. Our college has a break this week and as I was coming out to go to the library I saw her. She also came for some reason. She wasn't in the library coz I was all over the place there but I guess she was in the common room. She basically hoped on her cycle and sped off. I did go out too but I guess she didn't see me but she did past through me. Tho I did see that she wasn't looking sideways and was only looking straight. So either she didn't see me or she ignored me and pretended to not see me :/ i wasn't in her way tho. I was sideways, a little far. I did see her wave hi to someone she saw nearby so I'm negative now :/ but I really think she didn't see me as I did not see her look sideways at all.

[Asker]

I am leaving it
she clearly doesn't like me. We crossed paths today and avoided looking at me again. I can't speak to someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to me. Forget it :/

[Doncastar]

Well its up to you @asker :( In all honesty, if you ask me then I would say make 1 final attempt. Please try once. Try to talk to her and see the response. If the response is cold and negative then dump her tbh. Thats no way to react :/ . I'm really sorry for you.

[Asker]

I will try. Otjerwise I will geel guilty all my life of hurting her and not attempting anything. Too many wrong signals have gone the way.
Strangely, this month is basically repeating June. Except 7th Feb, 6th, 12th, 13th June are all the exact same days and dates. The only difference is we were discovering love that time and now its like hatred from her side :(

[Asker]

Okkies so we talked! She came to the library to print and she we saw each other. And I said hi and she was normal towards me. She was also talking and said she no longer studies here and is looking for a job and that she's moved back. Comes here only for some reasons. Basically told me about her other jobs and stuff. I did ask if she's free this week she said nope she has things to do. But she did touch me by the shoulder and said it was nice seeing me. But did i just get friendzoned :/

[Doncastar]

Hmmm! LOL! Doubt it! @Lalalbby90 see here!!!

[Asker]

i felt so positive talking. It was strange that she suddenly decided to talk. She chose to come near my place , give me looks and make eye contact with me and talk.
And she was willing to talk. She shared a lot of information about herself and was completely normal and so friendly. It was like nothing ever happened between us. When I told her about her haircut, she was like yup its all gone and does she look bad and I said no she looks good and we laughed. It was so cute tbh.

I really noticed how easy it was between us. It wasn't just staring, but we indeed have a natural chemistry between us. We aren't friends or anything but we seem lile we can have great compatibility. The conversation went so smoothly. Granted, she doesn't take much initiative in talking so sometimes it feels awkward if neither of us say but we do have something. However i feel what if she has a boyfriend. Tho she didn't say she has a boyfriend when i asked for free this week. What do u think @Lalalbby90 @Poppykate @Doncaster

[Doncastar]

I kept saying this all the time @asker. Believe it or not there IS a thread which has tied U two together. There is a soul connection. Its so evident.

The fact she returned back to this country and U guys kept getting in each other's way. The signs, the dreams all came true. U dreamt she was at uni and inspite of not being a student there, fate keeps bringing her and making U two run into each other. U had these dreams of having these runs in and they came true. U had this talking dream and it came true. The desire to talk and U guys talked. And U know so much now.

I dont think she has a boyfriend. If she had she wouldn't talk to U or even remember U. There is a part in her which still has feelings for U.

I'm proud. U did IR part. Now the ball is in her court. Give her time. Let her think over everything. Maybe the confession dream will come true soon. I already told U about the effects pf the eclipse. Be positive. Things seem to be working :) @Lalalbby90 Agreed?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar @Asker Agreed! It is happening!!!

[Asker]

What is happening? What do u feel through our convo tho? :/

[Asker]

And I noticed that she wears these wristbands which she wasn't wearing when we were meeting each other and those wristbands have made me really insecure and worried :( I keep thinking that those bands are from her boyfriend or she found someone who gave her those. Those bands look like friendship bands tbh but still I'm worried :/ she did wear bands in her older pics and bracelet too but again i used to think she wore it coz someone gave her :/ I'm paranoid but I'm fearful

[Doncastar]

Bands like that are for 12 year olds. Unless her emotional maturity and her 'bf's maturity is 12, nobody wears these types of things. Most couples dont wear anything. Unless married. And I am thinking her destiny is aligned with U why would she have a bf?

It isn't obvious to u. An ex student who is being guided by fate to come to uni and run into the person they had a serious liking for. Furthermore they talked too and in full privacy, just the 2 of them. Clearly remembering U and all the memories U guys shared.

I really dont think that. She just likes to wear bands. Your destines are tied together dear. Its just U two.

[Asker]

I also asked her if she's free and she declined to see me :/ and is now not coming to the university tho she told me she will be around :/ i guess she friendzoned me and was just being nice. Funny how @Lalalbby90 isn't saying a word on all of this

[Poppykate]

She is looking for work! It’s really stressful! Of course she is busy. She is probably spending her nights on the internet looking for jobs, and submitting applications. etc. she hasn’t friend zoned you! Touching you is a good sign. Next time you see her continue the easy talk!

[Asker]

@Poppykate I hope you are right :/

[Asker]

I also had a strange dream which felt very real just like the talking one.
In that I saw that both of us were crying. Apparently the reason was she was leaving if I remember correctly and people were giving her a farewell. And she was crying. I jumped after her and we both stared at each other and she was still looking at me with tears in her eyes and I was crying too and saying I dont even have your number. Then she gave me after writing it down and I saw her kiss me too. I also saw her randomnly on her phone. I'm scared. Why were we crying? And are we goimg to separate forever? Is the end of us or signfies a start?

[Poppykate]

You never know... just next time you see her keep it light... but ask for her number

[Doncastar]

Hmmm. i dont get the farewell thing though. Why have that inserted. Do you remember if it was really farewell? As farewell dreams usually indicate departure. But I don't see how she will depart from your life unless she completely stops coming to the university or has moved on with someone else. Which I doubt.
U say she was crying bitterly and so were U. Then the phone number and kiss.

I tend to follow different meanings to crying in dreams. I believe and so others that crying means good as the if U see Urself crying, U will be happy and will laugh.
In UR case both of U were crying esp her and U had a face off in tears. This indicates shared happiness as per my view. It could very well be that U two will be happy about something, experiencing the happiness together. If it was a farewell dream which signfies her departure then why phone number? That's linking U too. If U guys have numbers, U are in contact.
Nah I don't think it signfies the end.

[Asker]

@Doncastar I do feel scared and fearful. What if she felt I still like her and doesn't want me anymore so stops coming? She left her damaged bike at the uni but hasn't come since we talked. I also fear what if she has someone. :/

I first saw her sitting in my dream. Withim a group of people and she was on her phone. Then I saw her cry bitterly. I really cannot remember if I made the assumption that she was leaving or it was in my dream but she I saw her cry so hard. It was like uncontrollable. Then I rushed to her and I was like I dont even have ur contact no and she wrote it down on a piece of paper and then some kisses. It felt really real. I'm really disturbed and the thought of separating again is breaking my already broken heart even more. I know I won't be able to handle this time.

[Asker]

@Poppykate Wil try :/ I don't want to overwhelm her. But I will gauge her behaviour if she ever comes and if we ever get to talk again :/

[Doncastar]

What I am gathering from this dream is U guys shared sorrow and pain together. Cried and saw tears and hysteria in each others eyes. That itself proves how strong and deeply connected UR bond is dear @asker :) Seeing urselves share grief together is a soulmate thing. I think the farewell is to the grief and pain U guys have shared. From the pain U guys experienced as star crossed lovers.
And dont take everything that literally. U said U ran into her at odd locations in ur dreams when it all happened at UR uni. I really think shared pain and tears together symbolises shared happiness together. Tbh I think the confession is connected to this. U guys will confess and share the happiness of starting a new journey together. U will be extremely happy. Crying in dreams is opposite. It means laughter in buddhist and hindu sacred books. Hence I will go with my knowledge. Plus the eclipse proved it. U guys communicated. It was predicted. So I think it symbolises a new joyous beginning for U 2

[Asker]

@Doncastar well in my talking dream we texted also but it didn't happen and i ve seen her with her old hairstyle in my encounter dreams when now her hair is differently styled and shorter. So yeah maybe u are right :/ i dont want to lose us this time.

[Doncastar]

There seems to be no point of a farewell. If there was no connection between u too and u guys were just like regular meet-greet-bye would be couple, things would have gone differently. Both of u would move on. U wouldn't meet each other again. U wouldn't have dreams of them which would come true.
Even if it signfied farewell it still wouldn't be called a farewell as u both would still remain in each others hearts sharing pain. Hearts would still be connected. Overnight u dont erase someone U couldnt forget over 7 months.

So I don't see it tbh. Crying together is a sign honestly. Sharing tears or seeing oneself in tears = experiencing joy in buddhist and hindu scriptures. I ve seen myself cry and have laughed after such dreadful dreams.
U also saw confession and thread dream. So don't worry. There was partial eclipse on 15th. Relationships, soulmates and love are the focus. U guys shared pain but connected eg phone no + kiss. So it looks like a new begining honestly :) !

[Asker]

@Doncastar hopefully :/ Thanks for answering in detail..
I was very scared and disturbed. I dont feel good tbh and i got nightmares today but i hope for the best.

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90

[Asker]

She won't respond. Dont tag her.

[Poppykate]

That’s sad!

[Doncastar]

Not exactly nice behaviour but ok

[Asker]

I tagged her so many times esp after we talked. Not once she responded. Strange how after we talked she just stopped replying. Forget it.

[Asker]

Well she's stopped coming. She also lied to me saying she will be around. I should have understood the moment she declined to see me when i asked her out.
Anyone who likes someone will make efforts won't they. Its clear. For some reason she remembered me and i dont know why she talked to me if she doesn't want to date me.

Way to play with someones feelings. Lead them on then dump them. Thanks for all your help. At least I got to see her true colors.

[Doncastar]

Hugs ❤ I am at loss for words. This is not nice. But if that's how she is then you don't need such a person in your life @asker :) You have shown you have great capacity to love. If she cannot see that a you still like her as much as you did before, she is immature. Let her wear bracelets lile a child thinking thats love while kicking out someone who truly loved her in absence.

Though I still think you guys will happen because all your dreams came true, in case she's this jerkish, let her be. She will realise soon that she threw away someone who still loved her after all these months of absence. Clearly, not mature or has no idea about love. I am sorry to hear this but still have faith. Maybe she's really struggling with her life :/

[Asker]

@Doncastar @Poppykate but as u can see she left the university. I mean why would someone pursue who was leaving the university? I try to think it was a game but then why she still remembered me? I dont understand her. If she is seeing someone then why still come and talk to me? Is she a flirt or cheat?
I shouldn't have talked to her. Strange how whenever we talk something goes wrong.

[LalaIbby90]

Please don’t fall into judgements. I’ve been barely on this site because shit has happened in my own life and I’m barely managing that chaos. I’ve been helping or trying for the past couple of months and stopping has nothing to do with you @Asker more with what’s happening with in my own life. I do wish you the best of luck and I do think you’ll be together just hang on tight

[Asker]

But she rejected me? When i asked her if she's free then she said no she has things to do and left and hasn't come since then :/

[Poppykate]

Ohh.. cuddle 🤗

[Poppykate]

Well... she was probably telling the truth. Without a job, you can buy essentials like food, rent et. It’s important to find work.

[Poppykate]

Without work you can’t..

[Asker]

Saw her and she ignored me in public :/ now I'm scared she hates me or doesn't want to talk to me

[Asker]

I cannot deal with this pain anymore. This girl is not interested. She's basically played me and is now ignoring me after we talked.
She was leaving the university yet she played me. For some reason she keeps coming and we always bump into each other and she flat out ignores me.
Anyone who likes someone will not treat them so poorly. She doesn't want to be friends. Not lovers. Nothing.

I dont understand what she wanted. Why try to catch someone alone and talk when u want to do nothing with them?

I dont believe we will ever be together. This is not the way an interested person acts.

[Poppykate]

You have said that she is shy. It is very hard to approach anyone in public, in fear of being rejected. It’s much easier in private. In her head, a girl thinks.. 🤔.. should I, shouldn’t I? maybe, maybe not.. ugh..😫So that is why she probably approached you in private, as opposed to public.

[Asker]

Not making any more excuses. I had a dream wgere I saw she was hugging and kissing another man and told me she's with him for the last 3 months. Its over for us

[Doncastar]

Can U tell me the dreams U have been getting and this one too?

[Asker]

I saw I cut my hair. Then I saw white hens. Then I woke up and felt I didn't see her in my dream and then I saw my flatmate and myself and later on I saw I caught her hugging and kissing a guy and she was looking all around and wiping her face and then I went and told her how long is this going for and she said for 3 months. I wishdd her good luck and told her I will never forget the connection we had and as I was leaving, she held my hand and I went outside the store yet she was still holding my hand until my roomate removed her hand from mine while I cried.

In June it all began and ended. In February it all began and ended once again. This time it seems like a final closure. That time we didn't get a closure. Now i know she just used me and has no intention of being with me. As she's either with someone or just a jerk

[Doncastar]

It is funny that U saw her with someone in your dream but when U two held hands, U wouldn't leave. Cmon. I am not ruling out that she could be a toxic person. Here behaviour is unacceptable and U shouldn't put up with it. BUT cmon, she doesn't acknowledge her feelings in public and will go on in full PDA mode?

@asker I think U are fearful. U have previously been fearful regarding this and had dreams too.
Just 3 dags ago U typed U 2 were crying, exchanged phone nos and kissed. The confession happened and U held hands.

Nah I dont think so. I guess if U want to shut this U can but I would still give a chance. All of dreams including URSELF AND HERSELF came true.

But its upto U. Personally if she doesn't want a relationship then why talked to U? Why remembered U? It just makes her seem jerkish. Either she is one or she's not. U will have to wait and see

[Doncastar]

How aee you @asker :)

[Asker]

not good

[Doncastar]

But why? :(

How are you @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

Extremely disturbed by that dream
Feel like I lost her. And she never comes so no effort on her part either

Are u ok now @Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

I’m still dealing with a lot of crap. Thanks for asking

Doesn’t make sense that you have a dream of kissing her and then another dream of her kissing another man

[Asker]

What is going on that is giving u grief? @Lalalbby90

But if she does then why didn't she agree to come with me and she still has issues asking me out after telling me so much about herself which she didn't need to? :/ or she's just too introverted in this aspect and takes time?

I agree I am having rather idiotic dreams these days. Maybe coz of my fear and worry

[LalaIbby90]

Issues with the Boyf and family. Sucks when religious and cultural clash happens. Not easy coZ it means I may lose someone I love because he doesn’t fit the category of appropriate.

Anyways. she’s pretty but she maybe is inexperienced, or shy. She also may be scared that she’s reading too much into it and is trying to act all casual with you because of how it ended before. You talked but so did you before. You asked out but she’s either too busy OR is so scared to say yes and either look desperate or something shitty happening like last time and then she’s going through shit again. I don’t think she’s thinking straight because it kind of got messy between you two. I doubt she has anyone. I doubt she’s over you. I really think she’s scared. Scared of everything and the potential

[Asker]

Stick with your love though. Its really hard to go through separation with someone you love :/ Hope it works out for you snd you won't get into my situation

Yeah but I did slip up a few times indicating my feelings like I slipped up when I told her I heard she wasn't here and I didn't know how to react.
Then asking her for being free and I also told her she looks great when he asked if the haircut looks bad. It was a really cute moment by the way us though.

So that kind of gave her way that I have the same feelings.

She doesn't seem like she is able to express her feelings and doesn't show it. So its hard. Dont know what she ll do. I doubt she ll say her feelings but if she doesn't then we won't get together :/ coz it goes both ways. She knows my feelings now that I still have them but so far she's not acting on it.

Then i wonder why she came up to me and talked. She avoided me in public but as soon as she soon me alone then she came up to the area I was, staring and looked like pls talk 2 me :/

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah it’s a hard decision family or him.

And yes she seems like she’s not good with showing affection and definitely expressing as well. But what stands out for me is from the start she seems like she’s wanted it to stay between you two. it seems like she hates people knowing and she likes talking to you and privately... not sure why? Maybe she’s super shy. Maybe she doesn’t want people talking especially that you Two are obviously attracted. Who knows but it seems clear as day she likes to give you eyes and tell privately

[Asker]

Keep him i would say. I'm sure family will finally understand your bond.

Yeah this private thing is a point. From start it was always between us. And even today. And our chemistry is natural. Not forced. The only prob is she doesn't express herself. But she told me things about herself which she didn't need to as we aren't friends.

She also doesn't want to be my friend. With her 'boy'friends she talks normally and publicly. No probs in hugs or anything. But with me, its only in private.

She did ask me if her hair looked bad when I told her about how her hair is shorter now.

I wonder how the confession or thing will happen when she's so unexpressive and unsure.

[Doncastar]

@Sker agree with @Lalalbby90 and do U really think there is someone in her life? I mean really?
If I remember all details correctly then she moved back right? So fate made her return back and make U two run into each other time after time only to be with someone else?
If she's with someone else then she wouldn't even bother talking to U. Unless she's a cheat.. which doesn't seem like the situation.

U guys werent friends. She had no reason to talk to U. She could easily done her work and left if she had someone in her life.
She didn't. She obviously was wanting to talk to U. The moment she saw U alone she decided to check out by hovering near U and giving U looks.

This is NOT a sign of a taken person unless they are pricks. U are literally her past love with whom she had crazy amiunts of sexual attraction. Talking to this person with that level of connection IS inappropriate and wrong.

U are fearful. That's all. I don't believe that fate brought U 2 back only 2 break hearts

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Agreeeeee! Completely

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 do you think she's a bitch and cheat? It seems like he feels that way...

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar no I don’t think she’s a bitch nor a cheat. I think she really likes him but has issues. She’s shy. As asker said i do agree with her inability to express How she feels. She wants it to be between them and wants him to Admit his feels. I think she’s confused a little bit like she sees the guy who gives her signs that he likes her but he hasn’t admitted his feelings and has been off previously with getting pissed. He did ask her out but it may have been so unexpected for her that she panicked. So normal for her to a say she’s busy when she’s not and aftern that she’s be eating herself as to why she rushed herself to answer. She’s shy, nervous and either inexperienced OR likes him so much she doesn’t know how to act around you. Is scared you’d judge her and not like her or get pissed again. Her culture / religion may play a role toonof how she was raised

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 Agree. I also feel that if she was a bitch or a cheat who uses him time to time for her ego then she wouldn't remember him. Jerks usually get more people to play with and they don't remember someone they were chasing a few months ago. This part really excludes her frim being a jerk.

A prick wouldn't remember and if they saw him and remembered then they wouldn't talk. These two weren not even friends. She had no obligation to remember him or even try to walk around him giving him looks.

That only 1 would do who has him in mind. Clearly she thinks of him to think of when I see him alone I'm gonna hang around to check if he talks. A 12 year old move but nevertheless it proves she STILL has @asker in her mind.

Honestly its too much of a coincidence.

[Asker]

Ultimately it doesn't matter guys. If i go by my dream then she's with someone. Which i guess she will tell me in next convo :/
Tho i had a bunch of dreams before too like this and none came true but still recently many vivid dreams about her came true so im worried

I find it amazing how earlier i saw myself holding hands and confession and all and now this terrible dream popped up. Tho i have been having worthless dreams ever since then.

Either its my fear playing up or i was tricked by my dreams and all these meetings were designed to give me e worst heartbreak ever :/

[Doncastar]

Wrong again. She's with someone but plans the same strategy she used to use when she was crushing on U last year? Lmao @asker give me 1 reason why this gal has any reason to chat with U?

U two ended on a negative note. It was not positive or happy. It was sad and somewhat bitter. There was no reason for her to attempt the same move UNLESS she STILL has feelings for U. U two = NOT FRIENDS. NOT EVEN PROPER ACQUAINTANCE.

What on earth could be the reason other than still having feelings for U and having fond memories of all the times U two shared with each other? :( Its so simple. Just like U, she too HAS fond memories. Otherwise she wouldn't even think of U ot even look at U if she didn't care.

Sure she sounds unromantic. Clueless and unexpressive but thats how she is. Even if U guys date, U will have to accept that she won't be very expressive
She will probably give U eyes for everything. Which is lol

[Doncastar]

by the way I forgoy to mention that there is Mars influence in the air. Mars rules sex and love as y'all know. I wouldn't be surprised if these two start banging this month @Lalalbby90
With all my previous response and the actual situation, I really dont see them keeping their hands off each other for too long.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Totes agree with both responses you just posted. spot on! Spot on!! Especially with if they date and she’s unexpressive I won’t be surprised but as long as she gives him eyes or does little things to show him that she cares then that’s so fine. Because actions speak louder than words. But I do see her as the action showing kinda love person and not so much with words. And I’m pretty sure the two have already pictured banging each other. There’s noway two people who are that sexually / emotionally attracted to each other not have thoughts and get some self release because they’re not yet at the stage of getting it from each other. I would’ve exploded by now if I was her. I would want some release and he’ll definitelt be on my mind.

[Asker]

How is it emotional attraction? She doesn't seem she has any emotions :/ never shows it :/ dont even understand what she wants. Like why come around when u aren't even sure of something :/

She was probably being nice to me and just felt like she should talk :/ and she probably is with someone that is why wears those bands and refused to go out with me. I can't understand why just stare at someone and force them to talk when u have no intention of going further :/ so far she appears like someone who just lead me on :/

[Asker]

Plus k keep getting crazy dreams about her with men. Though lately my dreams dont make any sense. Seeing too many meaningless dreams about everyone. The potent one was us crying and she giving her phone no.

[Doncastar]

I dont know what to say to you at this point @asker. Its all up to you. I know its been a long wait and delays and misery but U need to hold on. For some people love isn't easy. It wasn't for me. I got together eith my boyfriend after 1 year and I liked him so much. The separation killed me but I didn't lose hope. I'm not saying keep hoping. I'm saying go and do your life and cry when U feel like but hold onto a small glimmer of hope.
Who knows, she will come unexpectedly with her mind all made up that she's ready for U and 'US'.

I KNOW U are battered with questions and even think she's a bitch but I suggest wait and watch. Ultimately if she's a bitch who just used U to fuel her ego, U will know. Though I still don't understand how someone who is bitch would even think of talking to her past love. Like cmon, she's pretty she would find gazillion guys to hook up or flirt with. U would be history. Erased from her memory. She didn't. @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

I'm really tired. Just fed up of my life. It seems like I ve been scammed the hell through my dreams and these meetings. No longer have any energy left for her anymore. I ve dropped the idea of us ever coming together. Who knows she was never single and was trying to cheat just coz she found me attractive.

[LalaIbby90]

Wowh that’s a big accusation
DOnt know if she’d appreciate it if she read it

[Asker]

:/ @Lalalbby90 do u really think she's legit? These days everyone says she maybe a jerk. She never attempts to come and see me. So how do i believe she's legit? If she really wanted me she come and tell me her feelings? I dont see that kind of stuff from her side :/ I am trying to think positively but now even my friends are saying she's someone who is a not a good person. What do i do in this case :/

[LalaIbby90]

I truly think she’s legit because I know girls like her. She doesn’t want to admit she likes you until you do. I really think that’s the case. With how you ignored a while back she’s so hurt, she doesn’t want bullshit and just wants you to admit it. If then she says nothing then she’s 100% a jerk. But I doubt she won’t say a thing. She’s uncertain of your intentions. She’s I uncrrtain if you like her or want to be friends or just think she’s pretty. That’s anxiety provoking and would make some girls build up a wall and seem off? What are your friends saying?

[Asker]

She clearly knows i like her. she's not uncertain. She may have been uncertain but after our convo I slipped up a few times and she knows now I still like her and want her. Its her who is choosing not to act on it. After our convo its crystal clear to her that I like her.

She will probably reject me. Like she did before. I know it was unexpected but she said she's got things to do and now she ll say she doesn't have time, or has someone in her life, or doesn't feel the same about me etc :/

She doesn't even study here anymore then why not willing to talk properly :/ i know our conversations dont seem like 2 friends talking. Any smart person can tell its flirtatious stuff going on but if she doesn't make an effort to chat then we aren't going anywhere :/

[Asker]

Do u really think anyone be a girl or a guy will make eye contact and flat out stare in someones face without knowing the other person likes them? She knows i like her.

My friends are now saying i should give the benefit of doubt and be patient as she seems indecisive and is at a difficult position due to job hunting etc but they are also asking me to be ready for a jerk version of her where she's just either feeding her ego or likes to lead people on and kick them :/

[LalaIbby90]

Why don’t you just say it. I know it’s hard but just say it for your peace of mind. Not even her. Tell her “look I like you and I’m pretty sure you know...” and then see how she reacts or acts. She may know you like her but what if you’re the kinda guy that came off as you’re attracted to her byt May not be ready? Or the guy who is attracted to a girl but want a one night stand? a guy who came off as hot and cold? A guy that seems like to like her but sometimes ignored her too? There’s so many ways she could’ve interpreted your actions and misunderstood you. Yes she may know you like her but may not know what your intentions are. We don’t know what he past is like? What if she was emotionally abused by her previous partner? What if she was rejected so badly that she’s so scared to ask it a guy now? What if she was humiliated previously? We don’t know her experience. She seems indecisive but honestly she’s coming off as scared. And if she’s pretty then man guys are jerks out there

[LalaIbby90]

There are so many jerks out there that play with girls hearts and only want one thing. If she’s pretty she may have been a target to a jerk preciously. It leaves you forever scarred and scared. You may have a pretty face but not the confidence you are expected to have. You come off as guarded. Indecisive. Shy. But really you’ve just had a shit past and you’re just scared or over think the situation. i know it too well and this is why I have sympathies for this poor girl. You really need to just tell her and be honest. Who gives a shit about he outcome. Do it for you and watch her out her guard down.

[Asker]

The only thing that excludes her from being a jerk is her still remembering me. If she was a bad girl she would have forgotten me. We only had our love for 2 weeks. It wouldn't matter to her if she was one. She would have too many options. And I would be on her past but she still remembered me. So that says something.

dont want to look desperate. I dont know if she's emotionally ready as its a struggling time for her. I dont want to lose us tbh.
Once she says no we are just done forever. She doesn't want to be my friend so if will just make things super awkward and she may even stop coming to university thinking I'm after her and she doesn't want me.

Thats why I ve left the ball in her court. She has plenty of time to think and decide. So I'm waiting to see if she comes after the term ends. Uni will remain open and students will go to work on assignments so if she's around then I can tell she is somewhat positive. If she completely stops coming then its obvious she doesn't want me :/

[Asker]

I want to talk normally and be friends too but she doesn't want me as a friend :/ when she was fixing her bike, she was talking to a guy friend and made him hold her bike as she fixed it but when I came there she was like just fixing it and looked back, smiled and quietly started working. I just asked her if she ll be around and she said yeah and then stared at me. I felt I was annoying her so I left as she was irritated coz of her bike malfunctioning.

So it kimda seems hard when the other person only wants romantic stuff but not friendship. Plus she seems to either talk less with me or she is actually reserved. I ve seen her listen more than talk but yeah :/
She is probably very inexperienced I guess and very shy. So I am just waiting to see if she comes to uni after term ends. School's open. Students/Staff will come.
I want to tell so badly I like her a lot but I dont want to scare her. Already she got thrown off by me asking for free week.

[Asker]

Are u ok @Lalalbby90

[Doncastar]

I think I ll retract my statement @asker :( which I know I shouldn't be saying. I did think over your situation. My only conclusion is she does not seem legitimate :( I'm extremely sorry I'm saying this. I cannot believe i am saying this. But look, its all so 1 sided. U are desperate for "us" . U value her. U think of her. As of NOW, it doesn't seem like she has the same feelings.
Anyone, who has been separated from their love for so many months would seize the first opportunity to get together. She's not doing it. She's not doing anything out of the way for you.
Its sad :( I'm sorry but she's looking damn bad right now. She defo has a good memory tho.
Anyone who wants you will make efforts. I'm sorry but why would want someone who doesn't value you.

[Asker]

Its ok :) It was over the very day she refused to seE me. She is a jerk nothing else. Maybe wanted sex and couldnt get it and now her attraction towards me has faded so why meet me. I mean nothing :) She came yesterday but I left. I saw her as someone called her out but I didn't wait. She most likely saw me. Thanks for your response. I should have never believed these dreams in the first place. It was all a trickery. I'm worthless to her while she meant so much to me. can't believe I was used just for someones ego and mind games. I may never forget her and my life andd mental state has been ruined but its ok. She lost a love of a lifetime :)

[Poppykate]

Hugs to you @asker. I have been going through something similar. He doesn’t feel the same way. It was all me sending him love. It hurts. But you deserve someone who will love you back.

[Doncastar]

Heartbreaking 😭😭😭😭 So so sorry!! I'm still hoping for a miracle ! Just gonna say don't expect anything. Do UR work. Life UR life. Won't say try to enjoy as I can understand U won't be able to. But just keep doing U. Maybe just maybe she ll come around one day thinking she's gonna lose true love that was coming her way! She has no clue how lucky she is

[Poppykate]

I agree with @Doncastar

[Asker]

@Doncastar @Poppykate tbh I don't know whats going on :/ i picked up a free mag at a store and it includes promotional material from her country. I see June still. I'm so conflicted and tired. I have so maany questions but no answers. Its exhausting. This girl is either a huge jerk or a complete inexperienced person. So far she leans over to the jerk side. I dobt understsnd

[Doncastar]

The universe has different thoughts I guess 😎😎😎 I know its sad for U but if these signs still exist and are coming your way then embrace it. Your story isn't over then. Something is still left. What was this promotional material tho?

[Asker]

It was a promotional featurette of a cosmetics company from her country. And the makeup looks based on her country style.
I randomnly opened the pages and that was the page that came up.
:/

[Doncastar]

Lolz! So obvious. The universe is cruel @asker. Such a slap in the face synchroncities. I guess a major and final portion of Ur story is still left. Thats why its still happening. Either U guys will end up together or say your final goodbyes to each other :( Hopefully it should be the former!

[Asker]

Today was even more weird. My Norwegian friend has a great backpack and i randomnly looked it up as she told me its waterproof. Turns out the bag belongs to the brand from her country. And in our lecture another time it was mentioned of her country :/

[Doncastar]

That's synchronicity right there :/ I'm sorry U are going through this. But i suppose this is one of the final days of these synchroncities. I was researching the newest change and mercury retrograde is on. This usually includes your past. Past lovers, past crushes, past relationships, past friends... Either in this period people have a reunion or they get final closure. I pray to god U two get reunited finally. Itss beeen a long journy for both of you. Otherwise this story makes no sense if its closed. For one last time, go for it. I hope u two will end up together , be happy and free from pain :)

[Asker]

she's hooking up with her friends. She even came to meet them and talked to them for 2 hours. But has no interest in meeting me or even talking to me @Lalalbby90 @Doncaster

[Poppykate]

I am so sorry!

[Doncastar]

This is awful I'm incredibly sorry! @asker its best to move on. I'm really sorry life played such a joke on you. Be strong. And move on. Its hard. You dont have to forget her but dont talk to her and just ignore her. she's a bitch and egocentric bitches NEVER have relationships. She ll sad and miserable and then she ll realise whom she lost. I'm incredibly incredibly sorry

[Doncastar]

Are you okay @asker @Lalalbby90?

[Asker]

@Doncastar Hi. I'm ok. How are u? @Lalalbby90

[Doncastar]

Its so nice to hear from you @asker. Hope U are doing well 😊😊😊 How are things going? 😊😊😊

[Asker]

@Doncastar The same old life. Just 2 months more and thats it i guess 😊

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 and how are u?

@asker look, if you guys are soulmates then you ll come together. If U want to try 1 final time then I suggest the law of attraction. Set the intention, believe its going to happen, let go of the desperation longing and neediness and dont care if it happens or not. Also ask the universe to show u potent signs regarding her or U two.
If U guys are #soulmates then the universe WILL respond.

Try this. U still have 2 months. Things can change in 24hrs. Miracles happen everyday. Give it a try one final time 😊

[Asker]

yeah @Lalalbby90 i hope u are okay :/ u never responded :/ ur answers didn't come true and thats why u just dont respond? Its ok. I'm not going to go crazy at u.

And thanks. I'm actually using this technique so big coincidence there @doncaster i truly believe we are soulmates so I'm still trying. So far still no result. But I'm believing we are gonna happen very soon. So lets see. Thank u for the tip

[Poppykate]

Hang in there! 👍🏼

[Asker]

@Poppykate yeah thanks

[LalaIbby90]

Hey everyone. I haven't been on for a long time tbh. Been busy with life and sorting some personal stuff which is still going on :/ life!
Generally been okay and trying to hang on myself but only time will tell if itll work out for me too haha! Thanks for asking @doncaster @asker
@asker I don't know but i still do have faith ur going to end up with her. call me crazy but the attraction between u two is too strong and way too many things have happened for it to be... nothing?

[Asker]

Hi @Lalalbby90

I stil see those signs and she's still staring and looking at me while we are alone or in between run ins but she ignores me a lot in front of her friends and it looks like she hates me. I saw her looking at me once she had no friend around but one time i ignored her as i was hurt.
She took revenge by making fake calls on seeing me, didn't hold the door for me but later on she stopped her bike on seeing me and started acting like she was checking it , to talk. But i was so scared that she hates me that neither of us said anything.

I'm repenting so badly. I messed up a chance and she probably hates me now

[LalaIbby90]

okay slow down.
What?
Did all that happen in one meeting or what's been happening?
I feel like i missed out on a lot of things

[Asker]

Well 3 weeks ago she came and she ignored me. But later on she when she was sitting outside in the campus park I saw she kept looking over the main building entrance.
Basically every 5 mins just like I used to do. This happened after we met and she ignored me.

Then I saw her leaving on the bike and I caught her looking at me but I pretended to be on the phone and didn't notice her.

3 days ago she arrives and I saw she saw me and quickly made a call which I'm sure was fake.
She knew I was coming behind her and she held the door open for others but didn't hold it for me and walked off.

I was a bit hurt by this behaviour but continued to be positive. We had a couple of run ins and we made eye contact once. I largely ignored her as she was not recognizing me at all while being with her friends.

And finally I encountered her alone near the bike stand. She was leaving but I saw she stopped the bike and we looked at each other and she pretended to check her wheels but i couldnt say

[Asker]

Say anything and neither did she and rode off. I was very upset that i didn't say anything and if we never meet or get to talk it will all be my fault.

But i get so hesitant on her actions. And i feel she knows that her actions may affect me negatively hence she has this backcup.
When we talked in Feb she was acting like she was going to make a call and this time she was checking the bike wheels when its one of those perfectly fine Santander ones.

Now i feel she will think i dont like her and hate me and probably will never come and i lost my chance.
My gut feeling says we will talk and meet but I'm so regretful and hurt

[LalaIbby90]

You guys are in the tension phase and there is pride on both sides. You want to talk, she wants to talk, both have pride and are hesitant based on everything that happened between you two, so you guys have reached this level of extreme awkwardness, tension and just a whole lot of confusion. You like her. She likes you. You both don't know how to act around one another, which is a good sign but also a bad one. You guys are so similar and it's why you guys are stuck. If she was more ballsy you guys would be together. If you were more ballsy same thing, together. But there's so much love and sexual tension, but there's also so much confusion and awkardness about it all. So you both resort to staring and silence.

[Asker]

I dont have so much pride tbh but she honestly does. Its honestly like she won't say anything until I do. She also took revenge on me :/ I can't believe she thinks of me in a revengeful way :/ but then she's stopping to talk to :/ and if she wants me then why refuse my propsal of meeting 2 months ago? What kind of shit is this :/

I ve decided I'm gonna tell her my feelings thats it. Its been 1 year and this awkwardness will just pull us apart so i ll do it. I'm waiting for the opportunity to talk and i will tell her.
If she hates me then at least she ll gain the confidence to tell me.
Her ego is massive for sure

[LalaIbby90]

Any new news? Or is all still the same?

[Asker]

Hi @Lalabby90 nice to hear from u. History repeated itself. didn't work out. She suddenly started saying hello to me and I also said hello but she wouldn't stop and chat. Would walk on. But i saw her come after me when she spotted me from a distance.
In the library when we bumped into each other she greeted me and i responded but as usual she walked on. I thought she didn't want to talk so did not go further. She was walking ahead of me but i saw that she tried to look back and even when she was climbing the stairs we had eye contact.

After that day, she got mad at me. I met her again that day and she gave me a serious look and next day she had an annoyed look on her face, didn't even say hi. Just nodded and walked off.

I did go to talk it out after that but she was so blunt and rough. When i asked if i could talk to her, she rudely responded "what do u want to talk to me about". She also got defensive

[Asker]

(cont) and blamed me for ignoring her when she was saying hi. I never ignored her. Always smiled and responded. She never stopped for a talk and would whistle so how can i talk? Did she expect me to run after her?

She also claimed she doesn't remember anything of last year and she's sorry if it offends me. And i told her i wanted to say something else which she said she would like to her but she didn't want to talk to me.
I met her the next day and though she said hello and stuff, she quickly said she is in a rush and has to meet someone.

Her resentment and anger was clearly reflected. I also think she is friends with benefits with 1 of her guy friends as she's always touching him and the day of the library fiasco, she was taking him out.

So i dont get it. I'm friends with 1 one of her friends so i asked him to convey my message of goodbye and take care (as i was going home) dont know if he told him but this is what happened.
My friend says this whole ordeal will make her realise her mistake but I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

Oh wow!!! Jeeeeeez! She sounds kind of childish? No offence, but like a brat? Her mood also changes pretty quickly? You don’t deserve such bullshit man! She initially sounded all sweet but now... I don’t know what’s going on for her!

[Asker]

What do u think she wanted? Why didn't she stop if she wanted to talk? :( i dont get it. Plus getting angry and blaming me for ignoring her? When I never did :(

I still see symbols and signs related to her even now that I am home. Though I fear i may never see her again :( what can i do now? These signs are still there and i do see her in my dreams sometimes

[Asker]

Plus this guy she's always touchy with, taking him out. She doesn't live with him and she has never kissed him on the lips but im sure they have been hooking up all the time. It bothers me.

I can't understand why she went for me and gets annoyed at me when she's sleeping with another guy? Why do my actions affect her?

[LalaIbby90]

I dont think you have enough evidence to say she's sleeping with him. Maybe she flirts with him full stop and enjoys it. Flirting is fun but doesn't mean you sleep with them. This girl is super confusing. It's not clear what she wants from you. It sounds like she wants you but at the same time holding a lot of resentment from the past and that's why she keeps changing. She sounds like a girl with a lot of insecurities, fearful of something and holding onto anger and resentment.

[Asker]

Yeah but she took a chocolate bar from his mouth and was eating it and who is so innocent these days so i assumed the worst.

She is. she's also quite revengeful and gets angry so quickly. Once she ignored me so I did too, I saw her looking at me and then I acted as if I was talking on the phone. 2 weeks later she did the same. She saw me coming, went on her phone and that was a fake call I'm sure of it. She also didn't even hold the door for me but held the door for others. And was basically running everywhere, ignoring me flatly
Then she saw me in the library and we had eye contact and she was looking like she wanted me to come over but when I didn't go (i was hurt) she looked furious and ran off from the other side.

A few days later she suddenly changed her attitude and her anger was gone. She began saying hello but would walk on. She would whistle to get my attention.

I never understood that

[Asker]

And when I went to talk it out, she was acting like she has no recollection of last year, was irritated and annoyed the whole time.

If she wanted to talk to me why didn't she stop? Assumed she didn't want to talk and I told her that.
But she looked like she didn't believe me that I didn't ignore her. All she held on to was she was saying hi and I was ignoring her. Which I never did.

Then she just avoided getting into a talk. I would have clarified everything and i told her i wanted to tell her something but she chose NOT to hear it. She is super revengeful tbh and holds resentment.

I dont know now. I may never see her again. All her friends have graduated and i dont think she ll stay here anymore. She came for them.

But my friends say that we are like soulmates and if we are meant to be, she will return back and maybe have this realisation that she was wrong and then have a mature outlook towards me. But I don't know

[LalaIbby90]

She is hard to decipher. I don't even know what to say! She does seem like she holds onto resentment big time! :/ Why? Who knows! Her personality is odd. Your friends may be right that you guys are like soul mates, but why do they think that? Tbh, if your soul mates you'd think it'll be a little easier

[Asker]

Why do u think she got angry and stuff? Do u think there's any hope or its all over? :(

I dunno. They said its just not the right timing and with this immature attitude we both have displayed, a relationship could never happen as long as it remained like this.
She also said that until she doesn't realise that her attitude and actions hurt people and she lost someone only coz of her ego and resentment, we could never have a relationship as she would conveniently come and try to seek attention from me but then shut herself agaim.

[Asker]

But her friend was saying she was talking about going to barcelona and rescuing refugees near the sea so i doubt this would happen.
I guess we were never meant to be together :(

The worst thing is that history repeated itself and I did not receive a conclusion or closure. It was left unresolved, yet again.

My friend did a synastry reading from some site where it said that our paths are interwined and our relationship is conditioned by karma so I don't know what to believe. So far i ve given up all hope and expectation.

All I can say that I dont have regrets. I tried to reason out and offer clarification/explanation. At least she can't blame me. And i know i loved truly. I did , i still do and will always do :(

[LalaIbby90]

I don't know why she is acting the way she is. She does sound immature and one with an ego or maybe a hurtful past. But she is odd. Very odd.

She's either (1) playing you (which i doubt), (2) immature (3) holding onto resentment

Your friends are so right though about it all.

You have approached her, talked to her and asked her out, so really she is in the WRONG. She had a LOT of opportunities and she let them go. If you didn't talk to her or ask her out, you would be in the wrong but you are not

[Asker]

Why do u think she's not playing me? :( and do u think she will still have feelings and realise her mistake or just move on to someone else? :(

[LalaIbby90]

Why hold anger or resentment if there are no feelings? If she was playing you there wouldn’t be that anger. That’s why I doubt she’s playing you. Did you see any other girl that’s caught your attention during this time? Or do you just think of this one?

[Asker]

Do u think she will still have feelings for me or its all over from her side :(

Nope. Just her. This won't go away until I gain either a closure or being with her. This is unresolved plus my feelings won't go. Today i saw so many signs like the dates we met/talked. Plus the exact date 6.6.17 , the day we first saw each other.

[LalaIbby90]

I reckon she does simply because she still gives you some attention even if negative.
I remember telling you it’s unresolved and that’s why it’s painful on both ends. You both need closure or need to get together. The feelings as you said won’t go away.
She may be flirting with others trying to get over you, or fill her ego or numb the pain. Or a combination of all

[Asker]

But with resentment or anger how can we get together? :(

[LalaIbby90]

have you thought of moving on? or has that been too hard? it just seems like this girl has put a huge spell on you. What is sad is both of you like each other and both of you are struggling

[Asker]

No :( i can't :( i have no resolution. I love her so much. I think of the old days all the time and i do get ocassional dreams of her. Last night i had one.
I still hope that maybe some miracle will happen and she will realise.
Funny that her personal year is 2 and mine is 2 as well.

[Asker]

Do u think that my message which i asked her friend to give her will have any impact? I told him to tell her that i said hello/good luck and take care.
She was angry and refused to talk or clarify but i still gave somebody she knew this message to tell her.

I dont know if he told her but in case he did would this make her realise? Or she will realise on her own that I tried everything for her?

[Doncastar]

Hi @asker @Lalalbby90

I think SHE will realise. Tbh the way this whole situation qas turning out, you guys could never have a relationship. She would keep acting like this and it would be a never ending vicious cycle.

Now after all this, you can expect her to gain some maturity and realisation of her mistakes. If she does that, then she will be a changed person and will act maturely and then have a proper relationship instead of the crap that was going on.

You did everything. She chose to kick all the opportunities. That is enough for her to feel bad. And she liked you and still did hence I do think she's gonna feel bad and repent. What do you think @Lalalbby90?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I agree. She sounds immature and he tried everything. Yet she chose to mess it up so many times. This is on her. It is sad because I initially thought she was just confused and shy or whatever it was, but clearly she either does not know how she feels or does not know what she wants or both.

[Doncastar]

The gitl sounds egotistical and venegeful. She needs to grow up before she can have a relationship. Maybe this whole process will help her realise she IS the problem.

by the way what exactly did she do? Care to explain?

[Asker]

@Doncastar @Lalalbby90
Ok. So 1st i asked her for free time then she declined saying she's not free that week

2nd she would not say hello or even nod when she would see me in front of people but then once alone or by herself, she would start looking at me or watching me and usually i would go over and talk to her.
But she did it again and i got irritated so i stopped talking or approaching her. I saw her and pretended to be on phone.

After that, 2 weeks later, she took revenge upon me and did the same. She saw me and pretended to check/call someone. She held the door for other people but didn't hold it for me.
She ignored me all day and acted as if she doesn't know me while hanging out with her friends all day.

After that she tried to look at me and watch me but I refused to approach her and she got the message that i will not approach her.

She ignored me after that but suddenly she changed her attitude and began saying hello to me, holding doors for me.

[Asker]

I also saw her with her friends and when she saw me, she left all of them and followed me. She whistled really loudly when she was behind me but we couldnt talk.

The next day she was taking that guy out (whom she's always touchy) but she met me and was very warm and gentle asking how I was. I responded but she kept walking on so i got confused and didn't follow her.
I saw her look back at me

After that she started giving me pissed off looks and wouldn't say hi. Just nodded with an annoyed look on her face.

[LalaIbby90]

She's immature. Full stop. She is confusing and weird. I am telling you she either does not know how she feels about you or does not know what she wants out of you and her.

[LalaIbby90]

Also not your fault. You did the best you can.

[Asker]

Yeah my fault I went after her. Should have ignored her from the first day itself.
she's probably in a friends with benefits relationship with that guy she's always touchy with. Probably a cheater too , trying to cheat on him and wanting me on the side as well 😣

Do u think she ll ever realise and come back to me? Or there's too much animosity for anything good to come out of it?

[Asker]

When i used to talk and go to her, she treated me like I'm a second option. When I stop interacting, she gets angry or changes her attitude.

Why play me like this? If she already had that guy then why fool around with me for a year. Its heartbreaking.

She can go out with him but when I asked her out, she declined.
Then she reminded me how I asked her for coffee in feb when we last talked 1 month ago.

[LalaIbby90]

She craves the attention. She is two-timing. You're worth more.

[Asker]

But why angry when all she wants is attention? If she truoy does not care for me then why does my action affect her so much?

[Asker]

I wish she changed and came back. I truly miss our first days together. It gives me pain

[Doncastar]

Because she does care about you.

But the depth of her feelings is superficial. This girl, I guarantee you, won't have any deep relationships or friendships.
The guy you claim is her friends with benefits must be equally shallow and immature for her to get along with him.

What you have is a deep relationship. She blew her chances. But she still has the chance. If she evaluates her mistakes then she will realise.

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I agree!!!

[Asker]

@Lalalbby90 what do u think? Any chance of coming back with realisation and maturity?

[LalaIbby90]

well I can't say no because people can change and grow. Let's hope she does too! If she does, then there's a chance of you guys ending up together but rn, she's not as mature as you

[Asker]

I dunno why but today i feel horrible. I'm literally in tears asking why me

[LalaIbby90]

You guys fell for each other and sadly both of you are not in rythm or sync, and thats why you guys can't communicate well or express yourselves to each other on the same level. Who knows she may be secretly in pain too. We never can know how she is truly feeling. If she's showing signs of being angry or hurt sometimes, then imagine when she's on her own. She may be like you, not understanding you

[Asker]

I always tried to help her easen up, communicate properly but she has some strange thought. She doesn't want to be my friend or at least communicate in a normal friendly way. Had she dome that we would never have a problem.
She can talk all the guys except me. Even after talking to me, she still needs to whistle or do things to get my attention than straight coming up and talking like she normally does eith all other guys :(

[LalaIbby90]

when you have feelings for someone you can't just talk to them usually like you would do with anyone else. It's more proof that she has feelings for you but does not know how to act about it, does not know how to act around you like she would do with a guy that means nothing to her. That guy that she may be flirty with, seems like she has no feelings thats why she's chilled unlike in your situation where her feelings have her not thinking straight nor acting straight.

[Asker]

:( yeah i noticed their interactions. It seems very shallow tbh. As if she doesn't put any deep thought in her action towards him and they seem to have no chemistry.
Also she never stares or looks at him like she does with me. I know for a fact that if I'm there she will look a lot but he was around/near her but she never looked at him.

If she's used to casual relations or casual fwbs then maybe that is why she acts so weird :(

[Asker]

But then its him who gets to go out with her and everything not me :(

[Doncastar]

She obviously doesn't find him attractive or is attracted to him like she is with you.
If a person has a set pattern which they reflect during early stages of romance with 1 person but none with others, its obvious he/she has no attraction towards them.

Fwbs are easy to get. With you, it seems different. On some other level but she's immaturely dealing with it. Whats your thought @Lalalbby90?

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I really do agree with you it’s the only thing that makes sense

[Doncastar]

What is your own conclusion though @Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar Look in all scenarios this girl likes him deeply. But there’s a lot of reasons to why she’s acting that way. She’s either inexperienced, or has never fallen in love and it’s a foreign concept /feeling, or she’s unsure of what she wants in this time, or she’s afraid of what it all might mean. I do think this girl hasn’t had good role models in her life to show her what love is like and that’s why she’s shallow or confusing when it comes to her displaying feelings and seems to run once she’s feeling it a little too much. She doesn’t know how to express her feelings nor was she taught. People like that aren’t easy but no one is at loss but her. Not because she’s a bad person but she may not have had the ideal upbringing

[Doncastar]

Yeah I agree with @Lalalbby90. I think she's also used to casual or non serious/shallow relationships and here, she's thrown off rails. Usually confident people who turn into peas by the other gender have these guys/girls as the future S/O so it could make sense why she backtracks and comes forward.

She may think she wants to commit to you then maybe feels if its right or not.

Because, I doubt a girl or even guy who has passing feelings or is doing timepass will hold onto someone for a whole year without any form of contact.
She does have deep feelings but is unsure how to work them out.

This will only happen once she realises that she has the love of her life at her door. Maturity and sensitivity will do the trick

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar have you realised we’ve been answering to this for a year? How has time flown

[Doncastar]

Yup agreed. Its a whole year!

Well, if they are meant to be then they will come together no matter what. Which is what I think.

[Asker]

I dunno :( but weird enough my course graduation date is listed as 6th June on my online enrolment page and 12th June on my letter.
Both these dates are dear to me coz we first saw each other on 6th June and met again on 12th June :( i dunno if this means anything but what do u guys think? @Lalalbby90 @Doncaster

[LalaIbby90]

Not good with dates and stuff like that. @Doncastar

[Asker]

U should just say it that u really dont think anything can happen. After so kuch immaturity and misunderstandings, there is no chance for any good. Its all gone and im pretty sure she must have moved on from me considering she considers me wrong :(

[Asker]

Much

[LalaIbby90]

no i actually have never understood the numbers and readings/ horoscopes. @Doncastar and the other person who was commenting previously understood it more than me. She likes you, you like her, both separated and in pain. its a shitty situation for sure

[Asker]

Why do u think she likes me and is in pain? she's isn't im sure. she's probably with that guy and having fun with him. Even u said she was two timing. So why will she be in pain. Don't u think she must have moved on already since she didn't talk to me after our encounter?

[LalaIbby90]

Well until you explained it. She sees shallow relationship and sex easier than deep and meaningful ones. You scare her because you mean something to her

[Asker]

Is that why she was always in two minds? Even her friend said she's confused often, gets lots of weird ideas and makes weird decisions and said she's often in a rush too.
So could this shallow relationships make her feel scared of actually committing and being serious with me?

And ntw do u actually think she will continue to hold onto me? Or she's done with me? Based off on the annoyance and running away from a talk?

[LalaIbby90]

That’s exactly why she’s in two minds. One minute she wants the idea of love, commitment and a relationship but when she feels that it may head the way, she gets scared, frightened and runs. Suddenly she’s cold, odd and seems distant. It’s not her hating on you, or not liking you. It’s her being in love but scared of what love would mean, what a relationship would mean, what commitment could mean. She’s scared of what you mean to her so she’s appears bipolar. She’s scared to hold on and she’s scared to let go. It seems like all she knows is shallow, sex and flirting. She hasn’t had a taste of what real love feels like and it sounds like she felt a connection with you so deep it has her confused. Probably even more so because you guys have not even had sex and she feels it that much. She wants you but she doesn’t know how to act or what to do or if she’s comfortable loving someone and being okay with it. it seems loving a man is foreign to her

[Asker]

Yeah that's true. We didn't even touch each other nor had sex but the eye contact was so deep and intense that it was baffling. We couldnt not stop looking at each other and it was so intense and sexually charged tbh.

I have seen her with so many guys but never seen her have such eye contact with anyone of them not even the one she flirts with. She never looks at him. Only when she's talking or flirting then she does otherwise no.

I also think her parents aren't together but im not sure. I saw pics of her with her dad and sisters only and in her parents in 1 pic didn't stand together as a couple but her dad stood with her and her sisters not her mom.

But do u think she's still going to be involved in me or its just forget him who cares kinda thing?

[LalaIbby90]

Exactly right. You shared something strong, deep connection with no physical touch and barely any engagement. You two look at each other and seem like you know nothing around you but each other in that moment. That I say is rare. And if this girl is not used to loving men deeply, no wonder she is freaking out and keeps changing. You made her feel things she is not used to feeling. Did she ever look scared while sharing deep eye contact? Or was she just so into it?

Tbh i was thinking she may have had daddy issues but didn't ask because i wasn't sure you would know. It is interesting you say she's with her dad and not mum. because what i was thinking is that she could not develop deep feelings for her father for whatever reason and now its being generalised to other men. She did not learn how to love a man deeply. So i am kind of baffled that she was raised by dad.
Her parents divorce/ separation may have ruined her. It may have tainted her few of relationships in a negative way

[Asker]

Nope not scared but just maintained the eye contact and would keep looking/turn her head to look and would keep on staring. Even now, whenever she's annoyed, we have our eye contact and I can immediately tell from her face that she's annoyed with me.

I'm not sure if they are divorced but they did pose separately like her mom posed with her and dad was somewhere else standing with other members of the family and same again her dad posed with her and mom was not there.
So i kinda feel there's something wrong.

Her friend told me that she's funny and she's like witty with all guys and she even calls 1 of the guys who work in the kitchen as her husband jokingly. It bothered me that she can be so free and open with the opposite sex but when it comes to me, its just like hell froze over and can't even speak beyond hello/how are you :(

I mean even the guy she's flirty with, she has no issues with him either :(

[LalaIbby90]

That sounds like her family aren't together or something is weird happening. They dont sound healthy to me.

Trust me, you have made her feel things that the other guys have not made her feel. She likes you, maybe loves you too. Who knows, only she does and that possibly scares the hell out of her. Just give it time, it is painful on your end and you held on for a year (claps to you). Time will tell whether you two love birds are meant to be.

What do you friends think? Oh and do they finally see that she likes you or do they still think it is in your head?

[Asker]

Yeah I felt that too. Something weird is there between her parents.

I may have made her feel differently but that cost me dearly :( I tried to make her comfortable, be friendly and even asked her out so that I can get to know her better but none worked as she always acted strange.

Not willing to even say hello and but when people wouldn't be there, she would start acting approachable.

It bothered me and i quit talking to her and only then she started saying hello to me, on her own :(

Sometimes I feel that guy is her boyfriend and since her friends know about them, she wouldn't speak to me in front of them :( but then I thought she has to be a massive jerk to leave her guy and run after me as soon as she saw me coming. They are definitely friends with benefits I'm sure as that guy took the popsicle from her mouth and ate it. That doesn't scream just friends to me :(

They still think I'm overthinking :( except 2 of them, none of them really feel like this

[Asker]

I think i should move on at least. Was reading stories where people suffered this sudden stop talking thing and later on moved on to someone else.
I'm afraid this will happen with me too :( she was too annoyed and i honestly feel what we had cannot come back. Its all gone :(

[LalaIbby90]

What can I say, it’s a really sticky situation you’re in. Are afraid to be with someone else? Or for her to be with someone else?

[Asker]

For her to be with someone else. Though i already wrote in my reply about their interactions and them being possible friends with benefits or her being a cheat.

Not myself. I dont see myself being with anyone at least in near future. I fell in love, had beautiful memories and that was cruelly snatched from me and everything went wrong.

The whole cafetaria closed down, I started coming and we met.
It all seemed like fate wanted us to meet and experience love but i didn't know hers was so shallow and we werent meant to be.
Even the thought of accepting that she ll be history causes so kuch pain. I have to study there for 2 years more and her absence or presence will continue to stab me :(

[Doncastar]

:( I'm sorry to hear this.

But asker, do 1 thing and do get back to me after this. Sit in a quiet place. Free your mind of all your fears and cluttered thinking. Relax and stay peaceful for a few minutes.
Then, ASK YOURSELF.
Ask yourself if you think its over. As yourself if you guys will come together. Ask all questions you have in an unbiased way. No negative or positive thoughts. Maintain neutrality.

And listen to YOUR intuition+gut feeling. Of it says no, accept it. If it says yes, then look forward.

Gut feelings are usually true. Your mind will already perceive a person/situation. Its us, who choose to overlook and fall into trap.
Based on my thoughts, I believe in synchronicity and stuff so I do think its not over for you guys but try yourself too.

[LalaIbby90]

I don't know. I just feel him holding on is too painful. They may be together in the future because I have seen people not see each other for years and somehow bump into one another and they have a relationship and wed and all. It just seems like now is not the right time for these two to be together and I don't want him to hold on and continue feeling pain.

[Doncastar]

So true @Lalalbby90 If these two are meant to be, then they will come together regardless. The way they met and all does seem fated so who knows they may bump into each other again and rediscover everything they had before.

I would suggest he should continue with his works and one day, she ll return and they will begin everything again

[Asker]

It would be nice if u guys just gave honest opinions :( i dont understand how i will study there. If she's there and she's no longer into me or found someone, it will be unimaginable pain :(

[LalaIbby90]

It would be nice if you appreciated the time we have placed trying to help you.

[Asker]

I understand that. But at least give your views on that guy and her and the relationship between us? I am out of ideas so i cannot say anything anymore.

[Doncastar]

I gave my view. From what I perceive, its a casual association. Its not that deep. And did you ask yourself?

[LalaIbby90]

That guy, she's either sleeping with him, heading that way or just enjoys meaningless flirting

With you its deep but she has issues with dealing with her emotions and commitment and is afraid of what u 2 mean

[Asker]

I guess she's already sleeping with him since i saw the flirting happen last year too but she was after me so i assumed it was either not serious or she's just flirting

But if thats the case then why still sleep with him? She left him to come after me so that we could talk and the day she was taking him out, she got upset with me and gave angry looks ever since then.

So i dont get it. What kind of attitude is this?

[Doncastar]

Because she's not serious. If she was , she wouldn't be out chasing you in front of so many people since last year.
They most likely just have a superficial relationship like most college goers and its casual.

At least thats what I think. What about you @Lalalbby90

[Asker]

Thanks for responding. I lost my pet last week as well. Lost her then lost 1 of my dear babies. I give up

[Doncastar]

omg!!! I'm sooo sorry!!! I pray for you and your pet! The sweet angel now rests in peace _/\_

Don't say this dear @asker. I understand your pain but do not say things like this. Never say I give up. Give up is for cowards. I'm sure you are NOT.

God bless you and I really hope you feel okay soon. Your sweet pet is happy and watching over you. Always remember that ❤

[Asker]

Thank you

[LalaIbby90]

Anything new?

[Asker]

No. she left for Barcelona last year itself. Lives there now. Apparently is happily dating a new spanish/Latin American guy.
And her friend keeps telling me how happy and clever she is, how she's learning Spanish and being happy there.

In all I just understood that she was just playing with my feelings and her friend just keeps testing me to see if I still have feelings for her. She probably just wanted my attentiom or sex and when didn't get it, got mad and cut me off.

I still do love her but in front of her friend, I now act as if I dont have any feelings for her. They always tell me how she's enjoying herself and were discussing a selfie which she took with a guy.
Even my good friend told me that she was not nice, was a player who was with a new guy each week. She did say that she's not 100% sure how true this claim was but she was definitely into hooking up/fwb as I told you before about a guy she was always touching

[Asker]

Sad part is I truly loved/cared for her but fell for her cheap tricks. And today I'm the one who suffered the most. Not her. For playing with someone's feelings in such a cruel way, she received happiness. For loving truly, I received back injuries and emotional trauma.

I guess life has been unfair to me. Sadly I see people who look like her all the time, I hear of Barcelona all the time. As much as I hate to hear anything that's associated with her, these "signs" just keeps throwing myself.

She never had one regret of how she treated me. She has so many opportunities yet she kicked them all. Yet its karma favouring her.

I dont wish bad for her. I just wish she would realise what she lost and how her behaviour was so wrong. If she didn't love me why didn't she stay away. Why seek attention at somebody else's cost? I would have died for her, I loved her so much. And I still do. But she kicked it. That's all I want her to realise but I guess that's not going to happen

[LalaIbby90]

Omg. Was not expecting this. I truly thought you guys are talking or are together by now. She flew to Barcelona and dating someone else? I am gobsmacked.

Anon I really thought at one point that she loved you back or had feelings at least. Never took her for a player the way you described her. It just felt like the two of you had a lot of chemistry and bond from what I remember that her wanting your attention only or playing was unlikely. Sucks that this happened though.

You still getting signs :( ?

[Asker]

Yes unfortunately I keep getting these "signs". I dont believe it anymore. It's just bs. Her friend keep telling me how happy she is so I just stopped visiting them. I doubt she loved or had feelings.
If she had she wouldn't leave so easily. She never felt the slightest bit of remorse after I left. I saw her pics and she was all happy and smiling.

I was told she wants to live and work in Spain (as most of her friends were Spanish or Spanish speaking) but she never went to spain nor learnt the language.
After we fell out she decided to go to spain and live there and now is learning the language and dating people there

[LalaIbby90]

Fuck. That sucks.
Can you not rationalise it from any other way. That maybe she did like you but something happened? I don't know. anything?

[Asker]

My thought is she just wanted sex. And that's why she used to get so annoyed. A person who genuinely wants you will not get so irritated on silly things.
She obviously just saw my looks and that was it. No inclination to see me as a human just a toy who looked nice enough for her

She showed me how worthless I was to her that I was so useless that beyond my looks I was absolutely nothing

[Asker]

It was so painful. I spent countless nights in tears. I tried to clear the confusion and even wished her farewell. Yet I received nothing except silence and anger.
Now I'm so easily forgotten and replaced while I still hold on to all her memories.

[LalaIbby90]

But if she wanted sex, why couldnt she just ask for it? Like she's friends with benefits with the other guy. Clearly, she's a sexual person who likes having fun and exploring. I am not buying the whole sex thing because I do believe that if she wanted to use you and throw you away like a piece of meat, she would've been honest about hooking up.

I think you tapped into her insecurities and that is why she may have been irritated on silly things. You probably made her feel something and she was scared af. Her behaviour was her being irritated, because she does not want to feel this way.

and just because someone "looks happy" does not mean they are. Trust me.

[Asker]

Maybe she just wanted my attention to feed her ego? I do know she was insecure of her religion (shes Jewish, has Israeli roots as well) and she used to hide that part and told her friend about some bad behaviour towards her due to her religion.

Also I think that her confident and easy going attitude was all a show and her true persona was the one I saw.

[Asker]

Yeah but she's clearly enjoying with new guys and her friend always says she's happy.

[LalaIbby90]

That is a possibility of feeding her ego but many people do that even if they liked someone? Don't know but MANY people love attention.

Why would she be insecure about being jewish? Her persona as in a bitchy player?

Her friend maybe told what to say to you. Its HER friend.

[Asker]

But using me for attention is cruel? If she didn't like me then why ask for attention? She knew I liked her and playing me for attention is so wrong isn't it?

Cos at this university lot of people are anti Semitic and hate israel/Jews due to Palestine issue.
No the one who couldnt speak to me properly, had problems in communicating with me, being nervous and odd around me , being passive aggressive towards me etc

But those two dont have a deep relation. Another friend had popped in showing a selfie with a guy she was out enjoying and I felt so hurt but they were like blog she's enjoying somewhere, she sent me this photo etc

[LalaIbby90]

It is cruel no doubt.

Your description with her being nervous, odd and can't communicate that's her feeling something. You do not act different around someone if there's nothing. She couldve been chilled and easy going with you like everyone else, but she wasn't. There's more to this.

I am not giving you hope in any way i promise. All I am saying is that I am not convinced this girl is as cruel as you perceive her to be, there's something in the background that you and i aren't seeing. I truly and honestly think she liked you and a lot.

[Asker]

But i tried each time. I gave her access to me every single time. But she chose to kick it. She would adopt a ignoring attitude, talking in private , get upset if I stopped talking after her constantly acting like I dont exist etc

This really doesn't make any sense. And I tried to clarify confusion as well but she was rude and was acting like she doesn't remember our encounters in 2017.
I dont get these?

I have no hope. She's probably found someone there and she ll never be back in my life.
She obviously has no guilt or remorse otherwise her friend would never say how happy she is.
They would never tell me anything about her but they did until I asked them to stop.
It's like they were rubbing salt on my wounds

[LalaIbby90]

Would you have preferred to see unhappy photos of her? What makes you think she is not putting on a show with her smiles and 'acting happy.'

You say she's good at putting on a show of easy going but her real side of passive aggressive was shown to you. What makes you think she's not a good fake?

[Asker]

But why woild an unhappy person start dating and going out to see places with a new guy?

Of course I would not like to see her unhappy but if she's going out with her new guy or even seeing new guys, how can that make her unhappy?

[LalaIbby90]

If she's a no strings attached person and sleeps around or flirts because we can't be sure she sleeps around just because she's hanging out and flirting with men. If you see her, why don't you approach her and offer to spend a night?

At least that way she's getting what she wants (this is assuming she only wants sex from you) and you get what you want (yes you love her but at least you can get physical)? Like a win-win.

But those guys that she hangs out with are "just for fun" they're not guys she's attached to on an emotional level. With everything that you have told us, I'm still so sure she felt something for you but avoided it all together because she is scared of you/ of the emotions/ what it may all mean etc.

i think once i said on here that she may have a personality where meaningless sex and flirting is easy for her. But committed relationships, feelings of love and attachment may scare her for whatever reason and it explains her odd behaviour (nervous, odd, passive aggressive). I swear I have a feeling you scared her, the potentiality of it all scared her and that's why she floats around being "friendly" with other men who she doesn't see as "real."

[Asker]

Yeah maybe. I was told she's a player so I guess she's used to casually being around guys but what was so scary about us?

I doubt she truly wanted me. Anyone one genuinely loves someone would jump to the opportunity to get together like she was doing 2 years ago. Last year there was no such desperation. She would only come and try to do stuff at university. Made no effort to see me outside or anything else.

This really makes it seem shady, as if she was only toying with my emotions and didn't want anything else. But then getting crazy when we didn't chat is another thing.

She never told me her feelings so I'm left to assume the worst. All she did was deny remembering anything that happened 2 years ago.

And the worst part is she never tried to reach out even for once. Left so easily without giving a thought.

[LalaIbby90]

Shit that she's a player. What do your friends think about all of this?

From memory you tried didn't you to get with her right? Like you tried to talk to her and everything?

How would she act when you guys didn't talk?

[Asker]

They all said that she's disgusting and player. Whenever I told them about her attitude, it was always like they got player vibes

This girl never liked me. I was just an object she wanted to sexually use and when she saw she wouldn't get, she got pissed off. She never liked me otherwise she would make effort to come and see me.

She only came when she had to hang out with her friends and would largely ignore me when I was there. Only in private she would start looking to chat otherwise she would just see me and act like she doesn't know me.

Even towards the end she would just say hello and walk away. wouldn't stop.

But later on claimed I ignored her when she was saying hi. I thought she didn't want to talk.

I told her that i was confused due to her walking away yet she chose not to believe me and threw me away like I was a piece of trash. She wanted me to go after her but when that didn't happen she went crazy.

Yes I did. Every time. From approaching her for the very first time till the last conversation we had. I initiated. I even asked her if she was free in February last year but she had refused saying she wasn't.

Even at the end I told her i was genuinely confused and had something to say but she didn't listen. Even told HER friend to wish her good luck and farewell after all her misbehaviour.

[Asker]

When we didn't talk she would go mad. She would never approach but just keep looking at me for talk. But each time she would ignore me in front of her friends and only when it was convenient for her, she would talk. Would not even say hello.

So I stopped talking altogether. And she would go berserk. She would glare at me, give me really angry looks and ignore me even more. Her face looked like she hated me and in the end, she sounded really angry and rude as well

[LalaIbby90]

Oh yeah I remember you saying that her ignoring you in front friends hurt you or something and we spoke about why she would do that, like not want people to know she liked you.

Do you think you gave her the impression you're not interested in her sexually, what I mean is you seem very confident that she understood you are not going to have sex with her. What was the ordeal that made her think that way?

She sounds childish to be honest. She is passive aggressive by the sounds of it and immature and has a sensitive ego. Seems like she gets easily hurt if she feels 'rejected'. Maybe she thinks herself as highly? Is she that pretty? Sounds a little narcissistic. Maybe she is used to attention and men chasing her and she was not happy with you ignoring her.

[LalaIbby90]

It also sounds like she has mens attention. Like men are more likely to be around her, chat with her and engage in her 'charms' with her being easy going and freely spirited.

Somewhere you two misunderstood each other and everything went to hell from there

[Asker]

No i was trying to make sure I'm interested. I even asked her out but she declined.

Well tbh she's pretty but not exceedingly pretty. But she does have men attention a lot, many male friends, flirting with some of them etc.

But I never ignored her. I wished for hanging out but she kept ignoring me and would only want to talk when it was convenient for her (being away from her friends) . It was hurtful to pretend to not know her when we did know each other.

It was she who kept pretending she didn't know me.

Then even when she started saying hello, she wouldn't stop walking. I got the impression she didn't want to talk.

[Asker]

But i tried to clear up the misunderstanding. She chose to not believe me and even denied everything between us.

I dont think I misunderstood her. I made myself available, showed interest yet all I got was mind games.

Do you really think she liked or loved me? If she did how is she so happy with other men after doing me so wrong?

[LalaIbby90]

You have definitely done your part in trying, there is no doubt. I don't get why she didn't go for it esp. that she wanted the attention and DID appear to like you. She is confusing.

If she has a LOT of attention from males, then I don't get why she was hungry for more attention, when she was already getting?

Why would she say no to hanging out with you if she wanted to get physical? I remember those "sexual spark" between you two, so there was AT LEAST sexual attraction between you two.

This raises more questions than answers.

[Asker]

Maybe she wanted more attention? And she lost that attention so said no?

What do you think could be the reason behind her behaviour?

[LalaIbby90]

Maybe? But she shouldn't be acting so dramatic if she already has the attention from the male circle?
I have a few theories:
1- She liked you but for some reason was embarrassed to tell her friends that she did, was ashamed by all of it for whatever reason. It could be your looks, could be your culture, could be your personality anything that may have not fit her "ideal" view and she was embarrassed to have liked you.

2- She has issues emotionally and with intimacy. I honest to god do not think this girl knows how to love "properly." As in when she feels it, she gets scared and runs the other way. Not because she wants to but because she does not know how to deal with the feeling. I do think she has had a rough past maybe with family or a guy who hurt her deeply so she has grown up not knowing how to deal with emotion or intimate "meaningful" relationships because they are foreign for her. So she goes to cheap, flirty easy because no emotions are involved. Feeling things may hurt her.

I honestly think it MAY be a combination of the two. Your thoughts?

[Asker]

But 2 years ago she was so desperate and after me , even pointing me out to her friends.
Then why such a change? It could be theory 2

[LalaIbby90]

The only reason I suggested one is because she would prefer to talk to you privately rather than in front of a group. If she has pointed you out to friends, then she was too embarrassed to show people how much she liked you.

I have a strong feeling it is 2. It is the only thing that makes sense. If you have grown up in a household where both of your parents or one of them is psychologically and/or emotionally abusive then you're not going to be the best at forming intimate relationships. Or if you dated quite young and were in a relationship for a long time and this boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive you're not going to be the same. In both cases, you lose trust, you don't have a good sense of how to act in intimate relationships, deep feelings are too scary to feel and process (she may have them she is HUMAN, but she does not know what to do with it) AND that is WHY she is hot and cold, passive aggressive, odd. I do not think she wanted to hurt you. I do think she liked you but it's HER emotions that she was not able to deal with. Liking/ Loving someone is one thing, and the possibility of a relationship is another. You scared her because she felt something deep (sexual spark and chemistry and bond you described) and she probably felt like she was "in danger" because it meant the possibility of getting hurt and being abused again.

She is NOT your typical girl. She shows a lot of signs of emotional and psychological abuse and she's protecting herself, her heart and her emotions. Showing you she liked you was probably because she couldn't hide it but once she realised there is potential freaked out. It is not surprising.

[Asker]

I dont know but why did she move on so quick then? :(

[LalaIbby90]

See you keep basing her moving on and being happy from her smiling and what her friends are saying.

Can I say i went through a dark time (2 years): I went out everyday, was polite and smiled and "appeared to have a GREAT life" but on the inside I was miserable. Why? I did not want anyone to know what I was going through and put on a show because those feelings were personal to me.

I am not alone, there are many like me.

[Asker]

Yeah i understand that. I'm doing the same. I'm always smiling in front but I'm miserable on the inside. By my face nobody can tell I'm miserable. But at least you and I werent out dating and going on trips with your new guy right?

[LalaIbby90]

No I was not.

Sounds like you get overly jealous when she has attention of other men/flirting, and even if she is not flirting and just being super friendly? Like I get a gist that it bothers you when she talks to guys or acts super friendly or is engaged in meaningless flirting or the potential of her sleeping with other men for fun.

[Asker]

No not really. I just saw a little bit of the selfie her friends were discussing and it had a pic of her and a guy out in the wilderness, laughing. Her friends said she's out enjoying.

It was obviously a date and I'm sure she's out dating that guy or others so how can someone that unhappy do this?

[LalaIbby90]

But it's like you're saying her life needs to stop. I don't think her loving you and her living are mutually exclusive. She can love you and have her issues and still live on? Because life keeps going even if we feel shit on the inside?

Like since this whole thing I am sure youve gone out (not with girls necessarily) but had fun and lived a little?

[Asker]

Well not really. Nobody was really interested in me and there was one girl who kept making eye contact and I found her cute but she did nothing more than just eye contact so I left it cos I'm not running after someone like this girl.

Why do you think she still loves me? She clearly moved on from me and doesn't seem like she gives a shit. Otherwise her friends would never rub salt on my wounds, by always trying to talk and her, telling me how happy she is

[LalaIbby90]

So you saw another cute girl, did you not want to at least see whether that girl was nice? Or if you two had a bond like you had with the other girl?

But to be honest, I don't know what your relationship history is like but it sounds like this girl you love is someone you really did love and seems like you won't be forgetting about her for a REALLY long time. Such a short time together and yet you fell for her quickly, she's lucky to be honest.

I am just challenging your way of thinking to help you see things from different views, what makes you believe the guys "interested" in her and not using her? or that she is using them? What makes you believe she is NOT YOU, hiding her pain under that smile? How do you know she does not have issues that she keeps private and not even her friend know?

[Asker]

That girl just made eye contact a couple of times and after that stopped. Like my ex love she wasn't making any effort and I tried to smile but she had stopped making eye contact so I left it.
Plus we had no bond like that girl and I had. With her, it was something else. It wasn't the same with this new one.

We had 1 year together but she acted so weird.

I doubt it tbh. Why did her friends keep testing me to see if I still love her? She's always said to be enjoying. What else can I say after this :*

[Asker]

:( i mean this emoji. That's typo

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah that is what I figured. Whatever you felt with that girl was much stronger than the "cute girl." I guess she was special to you and probably still is.

Friends do that tbh. I have made my friends go say things to my crushes in the past and check out the reaction, heck I am doing it now for one of my friends. I go up to her crush talk and then say things about her and see how he reacts or what he says and I report back. It is common amongst many girls (not sure about guys tbh).

We put faith on what our friends are going to tell us. If you have been acting all smiles and normal then that is what they would have reported back to her. Don't underestimate female power. We talk about our crush/ guy we like so much to our friends, and the guy has no idea. At times, we even act a little disinterested to make you run after us.

But your girl isn't that 'normal' and I do think she has emotional issues that she doesn't know how to act in the face of true love and is so scared of letting someone in and letting herself embrace all that emotion. It's easy for you to want to give her the world, but it may not be easy for her, she probably wants to give you everything but she doesn't know how, and her option is to avoid, run and act like she doesn't care?

Also when she smiles in her selfies are her eyes like "wrinkled" "Creased" because thats a real smile, if its just her mouth then that is a fake smile.

[Asker]

I dont know coz I just saw the pic from the corner of my eye. Her mouth was definitely open and she was smiling. Not sure if her eyes were creased as I saw it from afar. She was the one who took the selfie and the guy was behind her shoulder

One time her friends were like she's passed the Spanish language test and she's so clever and how she called them saying this. That day they were so on how clever she is.

[LalaIbby90]

You couldve gotten a lot out of the selfie tbh. Eyes are windows to the soul. Speaking of which when she looked at you, you mustve seen something in her eyes towards you? That is why the picture wouldve helped because if her eyes creased it means at that time she was genuinely happy, if she is smiling but her eyes are creased then it is a fake smile. Our lips fake smiles, our eyes can't.

Then she likely told them to talk to you about her and see your reaction. I promise you girls do weird things, and getting your friends to brag about you in front of the guy is common. As I said currently doing it for my friend and the guy HAS NO IDEA I am doing it and just thinks I am being friendly

[LalaIbby90]

ARE NOT creased **

[Asker]

I honestly think she doesn't give any shit and has probably forgotten me. She's going out with that guy or others so obviously I'm forgotten.

[Asker]

Our looks were really deep. Like she looked into my eyes and we could just keep looking. She never blinked. Always kept staring

[LalaIbby90]

So sad :( :( :(

Its weird that with all that bonding, attraction and signs that nothing happened. It was like you guys were soulmates.

I at least thought you two would get physical but that didn't even happen

[Asker]

I got fooled too. Thinking such a person could be my soulmate. She treated me like I was trash. Threw me in a bin and moved on happily.

I doubt she thinks of me. I'm probably nobody to her now. If I knew she would have acted like this, I would have never said hello.
It's all my fault. I should have never made a move. I did and paid for it. What do u think?

[LalaIbby90]

You sound like you have come to hate her or despise her.

I really think you shouldn't feel this negative towards her and be kind to yourself and to her.
We don't know what she's been through, we don't know what she's going through and we don't know what the future holds.

You can't say she never loved you or liked you at least, because you don't know. I know you're going to say she threw the opportunity, but we dont know what is going on for her.

Do you at least keep some fond memories of the two of you?

[LalaIbby90]

Also if she ever told you she liked you or wanted to be with you, would you take her or that is it. You had enough.

[Asker]

Ignore that copy paste by her.

Well tbh no. i dint hate her but I'm deeply hurt and in pain as I was toyed with. That's no way to treat a human being. If she lost interest in me then she should have stayed away. Why come after then pull back and come back again? She went out with his but didn't do it with me. And I tried everything yet I was accused of being in the wrong. I received her hateful looks for literally no reason.
Without even saying anything I received hate. The way she treated me was terrible. I'm angry but not hating her.

I do keep memories. I still have her pics and I still look at those. I did delete them but saved them again. Dunno why.
And I dont think there's any future. she's planned her future in Spain with someone else probably.
So I dont think there's any thing else in store.

[Asker]

I guess if I said no I won't take her back, it would kill me as a part of me still waits and loves her. I wouldn't let her in so easily though. If she ever accepted her mistake and seemed mature enough then maybe I could consider

[Doncastar]

@Lalalbby90 I think there's still something for them in future as their story seems unfinished.
But he seems like he hates her so I'm not gonna say anything

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar I think so too!!!

[Asker]

Pls explain why you think this way? :(

[LalaIbby90]

@Doncastar want to try and explain?

[Doncastar]

I think its better if you do it. He asked a similar question once and we quarelled on it so I dont say anything

[Asker]

What happened? No replies?

[LalaIbby90]

I just think it is weird for two people who had such a strong bond and attraction to result in nothing? I just find it more weird that she used you? Because I have explained why I think that it was not a matter of her using you but something else (her past maybe?). I do think that she did love you, possibly does (i would not know) but I am more confident in saying that I doubt her purpose was to toy around with your feelings.
No one looks at someone like that, feels a bond and like feels nothing? You can't fake that stuff. It natural and its raw. You can tell whether a girl just wants to flirt with you (play games) OR when someone looks at you and you feel something strong and you feel it from her too. What you saw then was how she felt. But sadly you have painted her in negative light not giving her any chance of the reasons as to why she acted the way she did

[Asker]

But how can you explain that 2 years ago she was pursuing me and last year she wasn't doing that much? It clearly looked like she was merely toying with me and attention. Otherwise why would a person get so angry and rude? And how did she leave so easily? I know how hard it was for me to leave her and go but for her , it was nothing. She out laughing and enjoying with her friends. I dont understand how you can justify this behaviour as love. I didn't see any remorse or sadness. All she had was sadism and anger. I wanted to talk to her, told her that i still had something to say and she purposely kept avoiding me. That's love?
She moved away to Barcelona and replaced me so easily. I couldn't and still can't. And her friends keep making me feel sad by telling me how amazingly she's moved on. How's that love pls tell me

[LalaIbby90]

I do not know. If she comes back from Spain and decides to spring up a conversation what would you do?

[Asker]

Do you really believe she will come back? :(

I dont know honestly. Sometimes I feel I would never speak to her ever yet I keep day dreaming of us holding hands and being together.
I guess it depends what comes into my mind. I have self respect too. The way she denied everything in front of my face was humiliating and extremely painful. If I think in that way then of course I would say no. But then I think of how happy I was when I discovered her and how happy our moments used to make me feel and then I feel I may take a chance once again but maybe for the final time

[LalaIbby90]

I would not know but she sounds like someone who travels a lot. she's from India or something did you say? She studies in the UK/ US with you? Then now she's in Spain. She seems like she hops around a lot.

I hope you guys do!

[Asker]

If she was a guy you would say jerk and player and to stay away but you never say that because she's a girl :(

And you nrver answered why you think she loved him wjen her behaviour says otherwise?

[LalaIbby90]

I just dont think she is a player. If I did i would be honest with you. I don't know you and I can be very honest. But i don't think so.

All i see based on what you told me 2 years ago is a girl who was initially interested of you, then infatuated and sexually attracted to you and then began to develop feelings and got scared and took the easy route out, undermining and downplaying what she really feels. I feel like her only fault was not telling you how she felt even if she did not want to pursue for whatever reason and left it hanging. I do think she was wrong there. She should have been an adult faced how she felt told you but said why she can't be in a relationship/ why she does not want to be ina relationship etc

[Asker]

But why do u think she developed feelings? Who shows feelings through anger and aggression?

[LalaIbby90]

because of how she looked at you and "the unexplainable bond"

Those two you CANNOT fake.

[Asker]

Well maybe it was just because she found me attractive?
I do admit the pull was from the first sight itself but wasn't it just merely physical attraction?

[LalaIbby90]

She obviously did find you attractive on a physical level by the way she looked at you. Wait, did she ever check you out? Or catch her staring?

She also was emotionally attracted to you by the way she looked into you and the bond.

So both physical and emotional.

[Asker]

Yes she did check me out and stared too.

Emotionally attracted? How? All her displays were negative like getting angry, aggressive and giving me glaring looks..

[LalaIbby90]

She was obviously attracted there is no doubt. She thought you were good looking and appealing.

I don't know why she was so aggressive with you, i DON'T think it is you she is angry at, she may be more angry at herself for whatever reason. Because if you think about it, YOU did NOTHING wrong to hurt her. You did everything in your power. But if you think about it too, if she did not give a shit about you why would she be passive aggressive and angry? Those are emotions and they're coming from somewhere and because you did not do anything wrong it may be her projecting them onto you, wrongfully so. It doesn't mean she did not care about you but again, this girl has issues.

So yes emotionally attracted that when she felt the bond between you two and the emotions that you two had she freaked out.

[Asker]

But she flat out blamed me for ignoring her. When I went to talk yo her and asked if I could talk to her, she responded with "What do you want to talk to me about"? . She was really irritated and was quite rude throughout. She kept staring at me the whole time and was not being nice at all.

[LalaIbby90]

I guess you’ll have to forget about her?

[Asker]

I wish I could. But what do u think about this? Her attitude when I tried to talk to her? I was genuinely trying to remove the issues but got nothing in return

[LalaIbby90]

Do you still think about her often? Or has it lessened? I remember you saying you thought about her often ever hour or so. Since you haven’t seen her for a long time, has it decreased?

[Asker]

Think less but the love is still here unfortunately. But what do you think? About this behaviour?

[LalaIbby90]

I don’t think you’ll ever stop loving her? With time you’ll forget and she’ll be a distant memory, and when you remember her you may still feel things. Heard people have continued to love someone for years.
One day you guys may cross paths and she’s more mature and so are you and things will change. People do change. And she may grow out of whatever it is she’s doing and be a person mentally at your level and things may hit off?

[Asker]

That's the saddest part. That's why I feel anger and misery towards her. She made us a memory. She made us strangers again. It hurts a lot if I think this way thats why I never think of her cos if I do, I know I ll break again.
Sad part is I go to the uni where everything began. It's like a knife goes through me each day when I go there.

I do not know if our paths will ever cross again. Do you think it will and dont u think that unless she goes through some intense shit she ll never change and regret how she treated me?
My friends said that unless she gets the karma of being treated badly, she ll never realise how she treated me. Only when someone does her wrong, then she ll understand how I didn't do her wrong like the other. That's their theory

[LalaIbby90]

You guys did become a memory, that is true. There was something there for sure. There was lot of potential. I guess it’s really hard to forget something as strong, emotional and intense as what you two went through. Which makes it even more hard. As you said once it wasn’t just a crush, it was more. You thinking about her two years after proves you loved her. And still do.

I think she may be a bitch full stop. But there may be another side to the story that you and I and others on here have no clue about. We don’t know her side and her life. It may be as simple as she is a shitty person to She’s been through shit already? We really don’t know.

Like my story didn’t have a happy ending either. Remember the boyfriend I told you about and him and I we went through family shit last year. well we broke up. His family didn’t accept that I was Mediterranean and my family couldn’t accept that his Asian. We both also had two different faiths. So yes we both dated each other loved each other but family broke us apart. Do I love him? Yes. Am I in pain? Yes. Will I ever forget him? No. But I do hope we cross paths again one day and our families are more accepting? Life shit that way sometimes but there’s a chance we will never get back together and thought is painful. And I actually dated this guy, we were a thing! Even my cousins warned me to not go through with it and said it’s just going to end up blowing in my face. And it did. I didn’t mean to hurt him. He didn’t mean to hurt me. Just life was stronger than the both of us. i cried for months and I heard he was depressed too, but what where exactly supposed to do? Run away together? That happens in a Disney and not reality :( He changed his number coz his family told him to change it, he deleted all social media accounts and now I heard he’s in another state working there. Can’t get any more shit than that.

[LalaIbby90]

I think stick close to your family and friends and get support from them.

I have two close cousins and they’ve been my backbone the past couple of months. One of them I told you about she’s the chick who liked the guy but nothing happened but at the same time she was like me he wasn’t of the same faith. But that one is a chicken shit. I love her but she sticks to the safe side. I remember telling her so many times to just tell him how she feels and test the waters but she has this weird mentality of what is the point of telling him when it won’t get anywhere. See we’re both cousins, but we have two different mindsets. I jumped st the opportunity to be with my guy and I didn’t care about what would happen later I just wanted to be with him. My cousin she loved the guy and she was so sad for so long but she’s like this practical person of not wanting drama and sticking to the safe edges, she doesn’t like taking risks, which I never understood. But it shows you not everyone is the same. So with her, the guy probably will never know she loved him back or maybe he does, who knows. It’s not like I met him just had to hear about it for a year.

But we had each other and if you have good friends stick to them and eventually hopefully things get better

[Asker]

That's really sad. But I'm glad you are still going strong. For me, I just don't know where to begin. So many questions unanswered and I never found out what she wanted and what were her true feelings. That's causing more pain.
She chose to leave me for Spanish people and life. All her face showed was anger.

[Asker]

I saw that selfie in Feb so apparently she's very happy as her friend said? Probably playing with more guys

[LalaIbby90]

Yeah with me I made sure he knew I was interested. We both knew that this his whole ordeal can turn into shit, but we both chose to live the moment and it did go to shit. But do i regret it? No because I spent months with him so happy, our dates, our time together was so intimate and I know that what we both felt was real. Him and I got ripped apart from his family wanting him to be with an Asian girl of the same faith and my family wanting me to be with a guy of the same faith. Both families where heated and angry by the whole thing, we tried to fight it but we couldnt.
BUT not everyone is ME. As I said, my cousin loved this guy, spoke about him so much, was so depressed for like a year or so and this guy probably had no idea the misery she was going through. I kept telling her to tell him and it may make her feel better that its off her chest but she thought it would make things more complicated than they already were and she didn't want to because she worked with this guy and didn't know if she would work with him, but the reality is which i told her is that she is chicken shit and scared and a coward. She would rather live on the safe edge pleasing her family and friends than be honest about how she feels and face this guy. I told her that she may have let go of a guy who may have made her happy for the rest of her life who knows. But she did not. She decided to stay miserable and keep all her feelings bottled up. She is okay now but for a while she was smiling, going out and doing stuff but she was not herself? She was miserable on the inside and no one knew but me and two of her other friends. No one suspected she was upset.

The moral of the story is people act different for different reasons. People make you see the things that you want to see and not whats going on inside. People behave in ways that meet their value or mentality or what they believe is right.

Its why with your girl we have no idea what she is thinking, feeling and what her situation is

[Asker]

But she did move on didn't she? I'm still there but she got on So how can I believe she cared or cares?

[LalaIbby90]

I don't think she's moved on in the sense that she's over him. Last time i saw her she said she still loved him deeply but she now is just accepted life for what it is and she knows that theyre never going to be together. She told me it pains her but she's at a point where she is enjoying life like before, but he'll always be someone she holds closely to her heart.
When I asked her what if he gets a girlfriend all because you were too scared to tell him because you think there's no point and because you're too scared to start drama? She looked pained and changed the subject.
So I wouldn't say she moved on but she doesn't look like she's in the pain that she was a year ago and prior to that. All she told me is she still loves him and always will. Poor guy has no clue. probably thinks my cousin doesn't give a shit which is the exact opposite.

With your case too we would never know the truth 100% we can only assume

[Asker]

Do you still believe she loved me?

[LalaIbby90]

As I said I dont know your girl but because I have seen different people act different in situations despite loving the person, I give your girl 50% chance at least that she did love you. She cared for you but there is a reason why she behaved that way.

My cousin it was faith. She hurt herself, lived in misery and now will not be with a guy she genuinely liked because of faith. So she maintained silence. Distance and apparently was confused for a long time. How did this guy interpret her behaviour? Who knows? He may have thought she was a bitch. He may have hated her. He may have thought she is uncaring. Or he may not have thought anything of it. But she told me that she was sure he liked her back. She felt horrible that she reciprocated and showed him she liked him despite faith being a no-no, but i told her not to be crazy and people can't control how they feel. She even felt guilty because she felt like she may have led him on, but again i told her not to feel that way because she liked him and its not like she was lying about it. She just chose not to act on it and tell him because she didn't want familial dramas.

So with your girl again, it may not be faith for her. It may be something else completely different but we don't know. But things like this happen. People act differently despite what is going on inside. So you need to put that there's a 50% explanation for why your girl did that and 50% she's a bitch.

[Asker]

She made sure she was not my girl so I think it's best to call her that girl. She's probably a bitch. I dont believe she loved me. If she did, he wouldn't leave so easily. Didn't even look back, didn't even care. She knew once she leaves we may never see each other again. This itself shows she never did. 2 years ago as well she was dancing At a protest rally and was smiling and laughing with friends after we separated. Now what do you say?

[Asker]

This time kicked me away and still laughing and enjoying her life with new man. I was stupid that I fell for this nutcase. She was probably just riding me along for attention thats why she never wanted to hang out with me one on one as she had no desire to do so except get attention?

If she did love me she would at least for once, try to look me up, come back and try to see where I am. Did nothing. Instead found a new man.

[LalaIbby90]

Then you would know her better and she may just be a bitch. I can't speak for her, I don't know her at all. If she was just that happy then maybe you are right. I have actually never met a girl that could be that heartless but I guess there is a first for everything!

[Asker]

Yeah i saw her in pictures and videos and always very gleeful and smiling. Don't you think she was just playing me?
And yet a disgusting person like her is happy while I'm left to suffer and I got the worst. For hurting others, she got rewards

[LalaIbby90]

Disgusting? Yeeeee. So mean.

[LalaIbby90]

Also if you think of her as disgusting, player, bitch and the list goes then the best route for you is to forget her.
Sounds like she has caused a lot of damage and it is not healthy to hold onto such negative feelings. Let go and let her roam free in Spain.
Find someone else?

[Asker]

What else can I say? :(

[Asker]

You tell me

[Asker]

Can You tell me why you keep giving her the clean slate? You are calling me mean for calling her disgusting but you keep giving her the benefit of doubt :(

[Asker]

Can you really provide an answer that if she loved me so much then why did she do this to me?

[Asker]

This girl played with feelings and sentiments, treated me emotions like shit and left but you still think she's good. Nobody can explain how someone who loved a guy so much left so happily. What do u have to say on this? I'm sorry

[LalaIbby90]

I did explain why but you don't agree with it.
You have made up your mind that she's toyed with you and left you, that she never cared for you, never loved you and is just playing with men's feelings.
Youve made that clear and I can't change that

[Asker]

How come you don't see that? Would you or anyone act like this? If a guy did this he would immediately be labelled as a jerk

[Asker]

I told you that she's always looked happy whenever we separated yet you say otherwise.

[LalaIbby90]

That is what I am saying you know her better and you saw the pics and videos.
You can make a better judgement than I?

[LalaIbby90]

But aren't you meant to smile in photos is one way to challenge your thoughts

[Asker]

My judgement can be clouded as I'm hurt and upset but yours can't

[Asker]

Yes that's true but can u tell me concretely that why u think she loved me through aggression and anger?

[LalaIbby90]

you believe karma will get her?

[Asker]

I dont know. It doesn't seem like it as she's always said to be enjoying her life. by the way she was always at bars as her friend told me. What do u think?

[LalaIbby90]

The thing is you seem like you loathe her and hate her. Just don’t waste your time on her.

I truly think she has a reason. Yes she wasn’t the best at explaining herself or the way she acted towards you but I think there’s a reason; and until you hear it from her one day then you’ll be left hating her.

I said to you her anger is her being angry at herself possibly. Possibly having issues beyond her or within her and couldn’t handle the whole thing with you. But I highly suspect she liked you despite acting strangely and rudely. When we’re kids we act so rude and mean to our crush. Why? Because we’re childish. She’s displayed immature and childish behaviour, she hasn’t grown up. She doesn’t deal with emotions properly and it all seemed like she spat on you when if anything I feel like she spat on her self.

[Asker]

But why me? She has and has had casual sex and casual relationships where she has no problem then why me?

[LalaIbby90]

Do you have solid proof that she has been sleeping around? Are they rumours? Or are you assuming because she’s highly flirtatious with a lot of men?

Let’s assume you’re correct about her sleeping with other men; sex is physical, feelings are emotional. If you have both it’s intimate. If you have only sex it so predatory physical, meeting her sexual needs. Having sex doesn’t require emotions you seriously just need to be horny and on a level think someone is somewhat good looking and bam. Emotions is a baggage. It’s commitment, bond, it’s risking hurt, it’s risking mental and emotional damage,

[Asker]

My friend told me she's a player and is frequently at bars plus she was touchy and flirty with 1 guy so I dont think she doesn't hook up
Even now she readily found someone in Spain and has dated others as well.
So I dont get it. How did such a person develop feelings? We didn't have sex or that much touching

[Doncastar]

She should get the karma. by the way what did you address you two as? Like friends, strangers etc?

[Asker]

She called me her acquaintance. The Day she was being rude. And denied remembering anything of 2017. But obviously @Lalalbby90 and @Doncaster think this is normal too?
Openly denying, pretending we were just acquaintances. She knew why I approached her. Yet :(

[LalaIbby90]

like friend? :(

[Asker]

No not friend. When I was saying about the confusion due to ignoring she told me there's nothing else to clarify and we are acquaintainces. I already told u she was so agitated that day. She also claimed she remembered nothing from the year before

[Asker]

She kept giving me hateful looks and when I reached out to her, her first sentence was what do you want to talk to me about in a really rough way

[Asker]

Funny how she claimed she didn't remember anything but remembered that I had asked her out 3 months ago. She told me how I asked her for coffee (I actually asked if she was free but for some reason she told me I asked for coffee) and she said she was busy.
She clearly had made up her kind to kick me out of her life hence she said there nothing to clarify and we are acquaintances. And she knew full well I wanted to speak to her as I told her that yet she wronged me. Even wished her farewell. Got nothing in return.

[Asker]

Do you still have anything to say? @Lalalbby90 do you still think she loves me?

[Doncastar]

I dont know about @Lalalbby90 but I think she did love you and probably still does. Why on fucking earth would she remember the time she turned you down? Becos she fucking regrets it and wanted to go out with you on a coffee date!!!

Granted, her immaturity and massive ego took centerstage but she clearly wanted to go out with you. Otherwise she would not even mention or remember it. Saying you asked for coffee and she said she was busy was an indication that she actually regretted the denial and wanted that.

[Asker]

Sure. Lalabby is already not responding as her thoughts are proven wrong? And now you too. I'm too broken already

[LalaIbby90]

No I just agree with @Doncaster that is all
Nothing I say will convince you of the love she had for you

[Asker]

Can you pls elaborate after this acquaintances thing I told u about? Like how u think she had love after being so rude to me?

[Asker]

Why do you go quiet after I ask u this question? Lalalbby90

[LalaIbby90]

Give me a few days I am thinking. :)

[Asker]

What happened?

[Asker]

Still no response? :(

[Asker]

Hello.

I just wanted to share this.

So I saw that a male acquaintance posted a picture with my "soulmate" (he was barely friends with a year ago but ever since my 'soulmate' went to Spain and this guy is Spanish so he started hanging out with him whenever he went there though he's currently studying at Bath ) and an old lady which I assume is his grandmother.

The guy captioned the picture as what a fantastic team he has on her side and he knows that.
A mutual friend of ours wrote that he and her in the picture sure look like a romantic pair and siblings.
The guy laughed at the comment.

I ve seen her with this guy before and she was following and walking around with him but there was literally no interaction which showed that they were a couple. Like no actual thing like standing together or talking too much while we were in a group during a society meeting he had organized.

I mean you can tell couples quite easily but these two didn't even seem like it. he was hosting then standing along with others while she was standing along with other people.
She later on gave him a brief hug after the event and a swift kiss on his cheek which she usually does to all her male friends.

So what do you think?

[Anonymous]

Don't ignore her!!! This is a myth. Only immature girls would think that would ever work. A girl who is sweet and submissive (as you have described her) will feel like shit if you ignore her and is likely to build resentment. Treat her like a human being, don't play games. If you feel like talking to her, talk to her.

[Poppykate]

The best advice I have heard on here today! Well done you! 👍🏻💐

[Asker]

I guess I already made her feel like shit... she probably hates me now

[Darknut123]

I'm not sure if it works

[Poppykate]

@Darknut123 Hey Darknut! How's it hanging! 👋

[Darknut123]

@Poppykate ok i guess. I miss chatting with her

[Poppykate]

@Darknut123 I am sorry! I wish everyone got their happy ever after.

[theblueknight]

Ignoring a girl may catch the attention of an insecure girl but most likely will drive any girl away. Just talk to her, then eventually ask her out. Do not confess your feelings.

[theblueknight]

I have the same problem with talking to a girl I like too. I just ask her questions about herself or tell a story about something I experienced (something that happened at school).

[anglca__]

no, do not ignore her, especially now that you already get to talk to her and even have sexual tension and eye contact going on..

she might obsess over it a bit and be on edge as to why you are ignoring her but eventually once shw get used to it she would just lose interest and move on.

[mahaim1234]

Bad move I HATE when a guy ignores me or replies late etc the hard to get play really doesn't work with me and makes me lose interest and eventually break up with them so much sooner as shy as you are just say hi and take it from there x

[azzntittiz]

I ignore or lose interest in people who ignore me because my pride is as strong as my pee, I need to drink more water.

[BikerGirl89]

If I get ignored, you might as well go find someone new because I am not tolerating that. We aren't children.

[Sayuri_san]

No, don't ignore her! definitely do not. She will believe you are not interested at all.

[Sayuri_san]

Definately*

[Poppykate]

She is going to think you hate her if you ignore her! Just tell her how you feel.

[mermaid175]

she's going to get the wrong idea if you ignore her.
your philosophy of lovers then friends isn't how girls function so I'd try to befriend her ASAP

[bytes]

I go so crazy I go over the edge and stop liking them. I think it's rude

[Blake0048]

It drives everyone buts but unfortunately it works.

[awkwardanimal]

Definitely don't ignore or she'll think that you're not interested and therefore move on

[zombiebabe]

if you ignore her its very likely that she will ignore you back

[BrittBratt2416]

Retarded move actually, she's going to think you're into her and move on.

[xjxssica]

BAD BAD BAD BAD TELL THAT GIRL YOU LIKE HER AND WANT TO DATE HER IGNORING HER WILL CONFUSE HER

[superbwizz]

I personally would be pissed if it was me. but I guess it depends on what kind of a girl she is. Most of the time it doesn't end well..

[Asker]

well she's really sweet and seems submissive..

[JosyJosy]

You know what ignoring means right?

[Anonymous]

No. Honestly that just makes me mad.

[ImYoureBestNightMare]

just tell her for fuck sakes

[Anonymous]

Who is ignoring
You
Or
She

[Shareifa]

Don't ignore her