How to convince my boyfriend to cut his hair?

Question

My boyfriend has long hair. When I met him (and fell head over heels for him) he had short hair. He looked too darn handsome with his shorter hair. Now, he has this little manbun and I just hate it. Like, if I go cut my hair, he'll have longer hair than me. I believe relationships are about compromise. You can do you for sure , but you also have to make an effort to please your partner now and again right? I mean that's what I do.
I've been trying to get him to cut it for 6 months , I don't know what to do anymore. I love him , I really do. I wouldn't dump him over that for the world. But I am not as physically attracted to him as when he had short hair. And it's frustrating. It's just hair. It grows back. Ugh he used to look so sexy. I'm not asking him to change his wardrobe or go on a diet. Just to get a haircut 😂 Help me? 😂

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"I believe relationships are about compromise. You can do you for sure , but you also have to make an effort to please your partner now and again right?"

I'm sorry where's the compromise? You just want him to cut it to chin length? Or just not wear it in a bun?
This isn't a compromise. This is "do what I want because I like you better a different way."
I'm not judging you because I understand where you're coming from. I had an ex that would grow a beard in the winter.
I FUCKING HATED THAT BEARD!
And to be honest, he knew it I never tried to hide that.
But I never demanded or asked him to cut it. I still cared about him just as he was. He totally looked better without it but he liked it. Who am I to tell him what he should do with his facial hair, wardrobe, or anything else that expresses himself?
And you better be damn sure if he had said to me, you were blonde when we met I dont like this red hair you have now, I would have gone and dyed it every color but blonde. It's my hair. Take me as I am, don't like it? There's the door.
I'm sorry, but I think you're being a bit shallow if you dont find him attracrive anymore because of his hair. He's still the same guy he was when you met.
If you keep pushing this he may end up pulling away because you are pretty much saying I no longer like you the way you are, you need to change to please me.

Though if you started spanking him and pulling his hair during sex he might get creeped out and cut it so you can't do it anymore. 😂

bleh012 · Accepted Answer

Ok you need to decide if this is a dealbreaker because 6 months is a long time. Hair is not just hair to everyone, would you shave yours? No right? Your man decides how he'll have his hair and he is his own person, he shouldn't compromise just to please you if he doesn't want to. Do you resent him for not being fair or that you thought you were kind to follow his opinion on your hair? Let me put it in another way, will you be always putting his needs and wants before yours to please him? No, right? If you said yea, i don't know if you're a saint for being selfless, robot for not self thinking or human if you didn't want to at times lol. It's also frustrating you were telling him to for 6 months unless it was occasionally. If it is a huge thing, talk to him and compromise or negotiate like you'll do him a favor for it or you can cut yours if he doesn't, to seem fair so that you both can come to a truce than having this problem. Communication and compromise/negotiations are key in being a better team 😉

loveisbeautiful · Accepted Answer

You don't convince him, you just let him keep it the way it is now and when he gets sick of it being long, he'll cut it on his own accord. I don't think anybody should ever force anybody to do anything. I know you said you make the effort to please your partner, but you don't have to. At the end of the day I believe WE should like what we see in ourselves when we look or pass by a mirror but if we only do it to please someone else but aren't totally happy with ourselves, then what's the point in that? I think people should compromise on what matters, not what doesn't.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Let him know the manbun look is over and refer to articles like this to ask him what "in" styles he likes, now that the man bun is over.
www.slikhaarshop.com/.../
Also read about this one former man-bunner and his decision to visit the barber. www.google.com/.../amp
Good luck. 💟

Anon85 · Accepted Answer

I'd feel the same way if my girlfriend got a butch-cut, so I understand your motivation. All you can really do though is ask. If he feels it's too important to him to give in to your demands try to compromise by doing him a favor. Say he likes you when you wear skirts - wear skirts more often. Reward him in kind and I think he'll give in.

The real problems begin when the other partner stops caring how you look, because then you start running out of cards. I've heard other guys talking about how their wives stopped using make-up and let themselves go because they think they should love them anyway, which is true - because they do - but it still hurts. You want to be attracted to the person you love and both partners should make an effort, even if they themselves don't care as much anymore.

So yeah - my advice is to give him something in return. That way you can be that much more attracted to him and he can be that much more attracted to you. That seems fair

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Find a way to give him positive motivation to cut his hair. I'm sure you can find something to make him want to do it.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

My man and I have had similar, half hearted issues. He thought about shaving his head (he accidentally did not long ago because he cuts and buzzes his own hair) and I was dreading it. He's so handsome to me and I love guys with thick, black hair - which he has. I begged him not to do it and explained my point, telling him that if he truly wanted to he could, but I'd prefer he didn't. He also requested I go back to blonde after wanting to change my neon orange hair and I did. Like you said, compromise.

I say take a similar approach: reassure him that it's his body, you will always love him obviously but it effects how attractive you find him. And that it'd drive you nuts if he experimented with a newer style.

heyitsmelissa · Answer

lol listen, I met/started dating my boyfriend when he was without a beard, very clean cut and his hair nicely shaped it - thought he was incredibly handsome just like that. Over time, he grew facial hair and while I was reluctant about it, I still loved him. That's still the same guy I love. As more time went on (now - 3 years later) he has a man bun/long hair that he refuses to cut despite me asking him to do so countless times. It's his body, his life, his appearance - if you can't accept that on him, then you don't really love him. But believe me, I do understand why it's annoying.

MarkRet · Answer

I never liked long hair on a guy, especially if they have buns or ponytails. Once it gets below the earlobes, it needs a clip. There's not really much you can do. After all, it's his own hair. You could just tell him you don't like it long, and if he has any consideration for your opinion, he'll clip it.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

I am not saying you have to like his hair the way it is but unless his hair has a negative statement put into, it just accept it as is. You want him to change his hair not for himself but because you prefer it a certain way. You are making a big issue out of it when it shouldn't be.

My girlfriend has a sweater that I think is ugly. There are no negative statements or images on it so I accept her wearing it. I go a few days without shaving and my girlfriend doesn't like it but she accepts me that way.

samhradh_leannan · Answer

You could offer a trade, like someone below suggested. Or just wait for him to get tired of it. At the end of the day, it's his hair, and it's up to him. Sometimes the more you pressure someone to do something, the less they want to do it.

bestLover · Answer

If you can't accept him as he is then you don't value him as much as you think you do.
If that's not the point then when you go to bed at night.. (I'm not telling you to do this but chew some really sugary fun and when he falls asleep put the gum in his hair.. when he wakes up he is going to have to cut it out and then go to the barber for a cut)...

mahaim1234 · Answer

Literally show him this question and all our comments 😂😂😂

Poppykate · Answer

Time to let EVERYTHING grow out my friend! 😉 Even pit hair if you are brave! If he asks, you tell him 'I thought we were embracing the natural lifestyle' ... lol 😂 men too have standards on how we groomed. He can't just let himself go.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think you need to find a way to be complimentary of his looks with shorter hair while not being overly negative about his long hair

but in short you can just say, i really love you with shorter hair. would you consider going back to that style?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would say go through pictures of him with short hair
and tell him how much you like the pictures that may
give him a clue. Give him one of the pictures and say
wow you really look good on them pictures just see
what he says. I agree if he loves you he will compromise
with you.

ritxi · Answer

Buy this clip:   and show it to him. Maybe he will like the fact of sacrificing his hair for you because of the price he think that will get.

bondobilly · Answer

Man bun? Really? When it comes to physical appearance, the only thing you should push for is healthy weight. All you can do is ask to cut hair, grow beard etc. Don't complain when he changes or doesn't, he is a grown ass man.

mouse0410 · Answer

Think of it the other way around. What if you had a pixie cut when you met and decided it didbt suit you anymore, you grow it out but he keeps asking you to cut it. I don't know abput you but that would hurt my feelings

TheBootyChest · Answer

Tell him that you us ed d to get so wild for him when he used to have short hair. And that you miss that feeling when you wanted to jump him so bad cause of the hair.

jtr135 · Answer

Maybe you should try to make a deal with him, by telling him, for example : "Cut you hair, and I will let you choose my new hair color". That's a funny idea I think, but maybe you should try? :)

Dog19 · Answer

Leave him. There's no point in being with someone if you only liked them because of their hair.

And too add, you sound so much like my parents who try to bully or pressure me into straightening my hair so I can look presentable to them. I know that white and mixed people have awesome hair and they do look beautiful but I find it awfully strange how we as a people Shame natural black woman and we Shame girls with curly hair.

usfdude19 · Answer

Talk to him about it honestly. If you don't feel like it looks good or makes him look like a homeless guy or something, tell him. Or just let him grow it out. Maybe it's just a phase. Or maybe he really does like long hair

Anonymous · Answer

If your guy wanted you to change your appearance just for him, would you do it? Because that's kinda unfair, seeing as relationships shouldn't just be about looks and you should accept how he looks as a part of him, and focus more on personality

Mishthefish · Answer

Tell him you saw gay guys checking him out 😂😂 trust me > he will cut it very quickly.

Browneye57 · Answer

And you've already told him all those things you just posted? If not, do so, see where it goes. If so then it ain't happenin' so just bag off.  And yeah, the man-bun thing is just gay. :)

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