Why not friends with me but friends with his other exes?

[Anonymous]

so we dated for 2 years and broke up a month ago... he said we can't be friends it would take months... great I don't want to be friends... BUT when I met him he just broke up with an ex girlfriend and he was friends with her right after we dated 4 months after the broke up and he still was friends with her... now what I'm wondering is why could he be friends with her right away and not me?! does he have more or less feelings for me than her?.. I just find this strange ... help

Updates

+1 y

maybe I should have stated he is friends with all his ex girlfriend after they break up ...just not me

Updates

+1 y

i didn't cheat lie or anything ... we did talk marriage and moving in went to look for rings and what not one day I came home and he just said I love you I'm in love but I can't right now I'm not happy with myself

[xsmilex3]

being friends with an ex you were serious with doesn't work period. especially right away. and trust me, you don't want to try. I just got out of a horrible months long period of 'friendship' with an ex. I tried to cut him out of my life, he insisted on being friends. we got back together, broke up 5 days later. then he didn't want to be friends and I did. it got so messy. all we did was fight, and he used me. and I let him in a way because I cared about him. I wish we would've gone our separate ways sooner because now I don't see us ever talking again no matter how much I want to. it brings up a lot of unwanted feelings, leftover romantic feelings, guilt, anger. the person who did the breaking up will try to stay friends if he is immature and doesn't want to hurt the other persons feelings. or he still wants a booty call. luckily your ex is mature enough to know your feelings are going to be hurt no matter what he does in the aftermath of the breakup. I think he's trying to let you move on and give you your space. because he knows, as well as you do, that you can't be just friends. doesn't matter if he is friends with his other exs. it really doesn't mean anything because there are so many different people and different situations that it can always differ. he has the same amount of feelings for both of you in the fact that he broke up with you both. if his relationship with his ex was shorter, they may have both moved on in the 4 months. don't analyze it, it will drive you crazy and make it harder for you to ever be friends with him if that's what you want. focus on yourself, what you learned from the relationship and have fun being single for a little bit.

[EliBaby]

Sometimes letting someone go is the best thing for someone to reason with. Being friends after a long relationship probably isn't the first thing on his list. He either really cared about his ex girlfriend enough to remain friends with her, or he never cared at all. Only he can answer that question. A mans mind functions so oddly that even I don't want to know what's going on in there.

When he said that it would take months, he's probably taking that time to reason with himself and constantly tell himself that he's okay with seeing you with someone else.

^^ That's why most exs don't remain friends and are forever cut out of each others lives.

Give him space and limit your contact with him. I say move on from him and slowly start to let him go. If you don't want that, then just wait until he reaches out to you.

[Reeses-pieces777]

he probably is going out with his ex girlfriend. ignore ignore ignore and move on. I know it hurts a little but guys are jerks sometimes. find a better guy who isn't playing the game 'pick an ex'. you're free from this jerk so it's a good thing.

i wouldn't want my ex bf's friendship ever. not in a million years.

[Masiah]

Alright then I think you just leave him alone for now and wait for sometime if he would change his mind. It doesn't seem like as if there is any problem from your side. May be he is just not ready and confused about getting into a serious relationship. Obviously marriage means a lot of responsibility and commitment. Wait for one or two months. Don't say anything to him. And if he won't show up with something positive then after that just let him go. He probably loves u, I think it's your marriage decision bcoz of which he got confused.

Take care

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Do you really care as much as you are making it sound you do?

[Asker]

Yes I do care its bothering me because I love him and I didn't want to break up he did the whole I love you I'm in love but I'm not happy with himself.... and it is something I need to know

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Ok, I can sum up the problem in one word: Immaturity.

It's his problem, not yours. He doesn't know how to act in a relationship, much less take care of the other person.

Be grateful you didn't get stuck with a such an immature baffoon and move forward.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

WHO CARES!

He sucks, move on!

[Masiah]

hey..may be he is back with his ex and she wants him to leave u. Or other possibility is that he is not enough comfortable with you now, may be because he doesn't like something about your nature.

Well I think it's good to not be friends with him otherwise whenever u'll see him with other girls then u'll feel awkward. So it's better to just leave all that and move on.

Take care

[pawan_jasoria]

its hurts when you saw he choose her but why not me.

my thinks when our relations broke and we wana re arange it so would'not be same as before

leave him find another boy and enjoy

Thanks