How Do You Get Over Sadness?

[MissMonday]

[dangerDoge]

This will probably be a long as crap answer around myTake length (coincidentally being typed out on a phone), so bear with me.

To break it down, I’d say it comes down to...
1.) (If possible) changing/eliminating whatever is causing the sadness, if the cause can be identified
For instance, my best friend growing committed suicide last year, and I was naturally super sad. It’s still saddening to think about. Of course, I can’t bring him back to life, but I can focus on the good times we had. It makes the situation less sad when I focus on the positive things about him and not just associating him with the end.

2.) Not keeping the sadness bottled up...
Keeping thoughts bottled up is a recipe for disaster. Going back to my friend’s death, what helped me a lot was talking to my friend over it and having a good cry session.
It doesn’t need to be talking necessarily though. That’s only one common way. Just expressing your feelings in general helps immensely. Chat about it online. Go to a psychologist. Write it down in a journal (note, check out free writing). Express it in poetry. Write a song over it— whatever. Finding some way to express your sadness seemingly releases it and eases the burden of it.
(Link to free writing— one method backed by research that can help:
liberalarts.utexas.edu/.../pennebak#writing-health
)

3.) Finding something happy and positive that can bump out the sadness...
It’s important to have aspects of your life that you like so you can be happy over those things. Sad is more of a default emotion than happy in that regard, because if you have nothing to be happy over, chances are you’re sad for that fact.
I personally use music creation as my go to method. I write down emotions on paper and turn them into lyrics. I play guitar and get out sad feelings. I hit the drums and get out anger. I enjoy the activity, and having a result (aka a song) gives me something to be proud and happy over.
I’d argue this is step is where hobbies come in. If you have any hobbies, it’d be a good time to spend time on them. If you don’t have any hobbies, maybe you can try and experiment. That can be fun to.

Another possibility is doing something you enjoy. For instance, during finals week, I go out to this local buffet sushi place I love. It’s a bit more expensive than my average ramen noodle crap, but it’s a huge moral booster. So my advice is to do something special you don’t normally do. Go shopping. Go to an arcade. [continued]

[dangerDoge]

Hang out with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile— whatever works for you.

4.) Keeping hope...
I. e. Statistical Regression (check the link)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2457531-how-do-maintain-your-motivation-in-life
Keeping hope is a two fold helper. If you have hope, it helps you from becoming sadder. It also helps you be more accepting of happiness into your life. Just as we will harbor biases towards objects/other people, etc, we can hold bias towards the future or our own perspective/self. If a relationship you had fell apart, keep heart that you’ll find love once more. Telling yourself that there’ll be no opportunities for us in the future essentially stops us from seeing/acting on any opportunities that do happen.

This is a matter of perspective, and the only way to really do it is through logic and sheer mind power. (For the logical aspect, check the statistical regression link)

STRATEGIES
— I mentioned free writing, which has helped me in the past [continued]

[dangerDoge]

— Another option is a self thought-control system. When you think of something negative, catch yourself and think of something positive (i. e. something good that happened to you, something you like about yourself, etc.) and write it down somewhere. At the end of the day, look at the notes. Looking at the notes will help you see more positive aspects in life.
— For self improvement in getting happiness, I suggest baby steps. It’s like setting a workout plan. If you don’t workout and suddenly say “I’m going to workout everyday from now on,” you’re setting yourself up for failure. Go from baby steps and work yourself up to adult steps and then olympic athlete strides. If you trying starting in olympic athlete level, you’ll just be disappointed in yourself and become worse. Coincidentally, exercise has also been shown in studies to improve mood.

THINGS TO BE WEARY OF
— Drugs or related items. These are problematic because they only help you as long as you take them. [continued]

[dangerDoge]

Chances are they have side effects though. You’ll probably also develop a tolerance over repeated exposures too.
— saying “I’ll do it later.” If you are making plans to do something to improve your happiness, do them. Studies have shown (including one experiment involving women on diets and copious amounts of ice cream) that if you exceed your deadline a bit, you’re doomed to way overextend it. I. e. if you set a timer for 5pm, it hits 5pm, and you say you’ll go at 5:15pm, it becomes easier for you to hit 6pm, 7pm, never etc.. Stick to your original game plan

.
Phew, well that’s about everything I can think of. Hopefully that helps at least a little

[MissMonday]

Wow! Thank you so very much! I have never met someone on G@G who's taken such a personal interest in someone's question. I thank you very much on all this information you gave me. Thank you!

[dangerDoge]

No prob. Glad to have helped! 👍 I’m studying psychology in college now, so I’ve heard some helpful info on mental health over the years (not to mention going through some rough times myself and finding ways to get through them)

[Mexicoman101]

Sleeping the moments of sadness away, drugs & drinking with good friends of mine, laughing, spending time with my pets, writing poems, doing something like a chore or project to keep me occupied, getting some ass, making fun of evil people who are stupid, watching shows with compelling writing, gardening, or cheering other people up who are sadder than I am or are in worse positions.

[SJayne]

Read, go out with friends, go for walks or runs, spend time outdoors, workout, write, if you are religious I would say pray.

[thecutejhanvi]

What I do is, I hear some of my favorite songs and sing along.

[Stonescribe]

Try to look at your reasons for being sad as part of the larger picture. Sure, you hurt, but you'll come to realize life is full of ups and downs. You will more than likely be more sad than you are now at some point in your life, but you'll also more than likely be happier than you've ever been up to this point in your life further down the road. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

[Valiric]

Not sure actually. Im never really that sad, however when my girlfriend and I broke up I ran 30 k without stopping. Also I lift weights, just takes out all the stress and let's my mind wander.

[BankruptBoy]

I ran 31k without stopping but that was just because I missed da bus ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)

[thephoenixhd]

Just get the point what's making you sad and say at its face I don't care anymore, have some nice food some new clothes few friends to go crazy with party hard...

[BankruptBoy]

Find and address the cause of sadness? Or if its inconclusive/unimportant find something to do, like read or watch vids, lols

[Nikodemus]

I talk to people I trust, keep busy, and give myself time. If you are also feeling hopeless, you lose the desire to do anything, nor derive any pleasure from that, and your sleeping patterns change, please see a doctor.

[FriendzonedBoy]

Talk about it with a friend, then keep talks more often than usual with him/her. Keep yourself busy with things of your sincere interest.

[bennyboy12]

Time. Girlfriend cheated on me while I was having open heart surgery. Been two years, and still have dreams and thoughts and pain about it. But you find people who help you try to heal. But it takes time.

[knight_55]

I listen to music and do things which i really like to do... which takes off my mind from sadness like gaming, social media etc.

[Mr-Kabuki]

first go to the gym to clear my mind.

then identify the problem, figure out the solution and fix it. there are no options. fix it. fix it or die.

[ArchiP]

To be honest I've still not really worked that one out myself

[deepak43]

Hangout with your besties. Do what makes you happy.

[Kittylover94]

I stay busy and be around positive people :)

[duwitsham]

You don't get over sadness, you go through it.

[Stallion87]

Copious amounts of masturbation and waffles

[Slarenx]

Nothing like masturbating to blue waffles to rid yourself of sadness and every other emotion there is

[rayhere]

Food! Thats how i deal with it

[reptocarl]

Time

[Sampreeth09]

Talking people about it

[bleach123]

Exercise

[disgustingweebtrash]

Be happy

[SmartCrows]

Try being happy.

[dre123456]

Gargle meatballs

[Mcluven]

Alcohol

[bonezrx7]

Happy drugs 💊💊