My boyfriend hasn’t really hung out with me in over a week?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend hasn’t really been putting in effort to see me for about two weeks. Everyday day i asked could i see him he said he had something to do and i said “you’re always busy lately” he said “you’ll see me , stay tuned” so i asked him “ do you not want to see me anymore , do you not want to hang out anymore, did you replace me” he called me crazy and said i didn’t say that you can you stop asking these crazy questions

[ScottPrince]

As for your question, I would say that I couldn't tell. It really depands. The guy might really not like you or just simple annoied by your act of keep asking these crazy questions which clearly shows that you're lack of confidence of yourself.
How to change this satuation?
1. Stop asking these question.
2. Ask something about his favorite sports or the work that he's doing now.
3. Ask him about you, but keep the topic on something like the activities that you're going to do TOGETHER. For example, hiking.
4. Have your own life, and live it.
5. Show him that you have your own life now.
6. Perfect relationship.

[Asker]

If he doesn’t like me why is he still talking to me... we work together and he acts like everything is cool at work but outside of work he’s distant. We have been spending the past few weeks together but the week before last it’s just he wasn’t really texting or talking to me and i felt like he was ignoring me , i broke up with him the next day because i texted him on Friday he texted back once and didn’t text me on Saturday at all

[Asker]

I called him after breaking up with him and we talked and everything was okay... he said “you act like you’re not going to hear from me or something” i just been busy and he says he has this and that going on

[Asker]

But after that we got back together now he’s distant

[ScottPrince]

1. Keep your distance with him.
2. Tell him that it might be the best choice for both of you to have some time to cool down.
3. You still gotta live your life, do what you have to do.
4. Maybe meeting some other new guy.

All of this, is to show him that you are not a thing that he can wisper, like a pet. 'Cause you're not.

[ScottPrince]

Relationship is not a one man business. It is a team work, a team work of two, usually.
Make sure that he knows it before you get back to it again.

[Asker]

Okay can i ask you a question though

[ScottPrince]

Feel free to do that.

[Asker]

Did i push him away?

[ScottPrince]

There isn't enough information for me to judge, so... Maybe?
For me personally, yes. I'm a guy who perfer to have some of my own time to do the stuff that I like every week/day, and maybe that he is just the same. Keep asking these questions would definitely annoied me, and eventually pushing me away.
by the way, I don't think that he's cheating, but I'm not sure.

[Asker]

Lol okay that’s a relief , i want to focus on myself and fix this because i didn’t mean to push him away what can i do?

[Asker]

I feel so bad knowing that i didn’t give him space we haven’t really seen each other but he’s still talking to me

[Jasdebi]

"Did you replace me?" There, that will push people away. You're a little clingy. I wouldn't mind someone clingy but don't say stuff like that, it's a turn-off.

Him calling you crazy isn't that great either. Just imagine he'd say it in a nicer way, like "Hey, I know we haven't been out together for as much, lately, but that won't always be the case, just give me a little patience and it'll be okay", maybe he said that in his mind, too. Just wait a little, since he's "busy", you might not know for sure what he's doing.

[Asker]

Well it’s a question because we normally see each other a lot but it’s been s week he’s talking to me but we haven’t really seen each other but once

[Jasdebi]

Maybe... you could try doing your own things for a while? And that'll make him curious and he'll come to you when he is ready?

[Asker]

I mean yeah it’s just confusing when on Valentine’s Day he bought me so many gifts and spoiled me and he told me that he didn’t want me messing with another guy and the last two weeks he’s been distant hisself

[Jasdebi]

I do that too, to see if I can do something wonderful with a girl instead of just leading everything with her following on a leash, but you two are together, it's a different story. I don't know anything about you two, but I say you should wait another week, and focus on yourself. Interest level just flows, up and down. It'll be okay.

[Asker]

Well i broke up with him two sundays ago because i felt like he was ignoring me but after breaking up with him i called him and we talked it out and he said “you’ll hear from me i just have things to do etc” i don’t be ignoring you but it seems like he does

[Asker]

I asked him on Tuesday what day would i see him this week and everyday he had something to do and he said “i”ll let you know”

[Jasdebi]

I think you might read what you said! You broke up with him because he was ignoring you, but then you talked it out and now you're still sad that he's ignoring you. I think he just isn't into you right now, as in he doesn't see it worthwhile doing anything with you. I say give him space, do your things, make something that you can be proud of and he'll come when he's ready, or you might have someone else. Keep the focus on you, alright?

[Asker]

Thank you and yes i broke up with him because i texted him on Friday he texted back but didn’t respond any until Saturday night like he didn’t text me or anything i had to text him again

[Jasdebi]

That's pretty cute, except the break up part. Being clingy is nice, at the start of the relationship, but not healthy long term (unless you find someone that knows how to make the most of you). Like, if I had a partner, I'd be doing a lot of stuff. Drawing, working out, studying, learning a language, their language, cooking, learning to sing, play guitar... I'd try anything and everything, and invite them too, so that we'd both learn. The guy just needs space and that's about it, honestly, it's not anyone's fault. Move on and... be someone that people would be proud of to have as a partner, and then you can ask for just as much as you can offer, and I doubt you'll run into these issues with anyone that really wants a long term and amazing relationship.

[Asker]

If he needs space why didn’t he just ask for it

[Jasdebi]

That question deserves a whole discussion for its own. There are many reasons and none of us can truly know. He could be wanting to string you along, just in case. Maybe he likes you messaging often, but won't reply unless he really wants to. Maybe he's really having stuff to keep him busy and he's only replying when he can. Overall it sounds like he takes but doesn't give. It's worth remembering that he kept spoiling you with everything a month ago, and I'm not sure what happened. You could look back on the conversation between you two and try to find out what your part was in all this, and then work on yourself. I gotta ask you, are you a 10/10 partner for him? Are you doing your best to make him happy? Does he have any reason to talk with you? Anything to get him to do something meaningful with you? Did you try? Remember, you're not promised tomorrow, but you'll be okay.

[Asker]

We work at the same job but at different departments he came over to me the other day touched my back and talked like nothing was wrong I don't know 🙃I’ll just take your advice

[Jasdebi]

Nothing is really guaranteed here, and I know it's not helpful. I don't think anything even is wrong, but there's always something to do better. It looks like everyone is telling you more or less the same thing, to focus on yourself. If you want to, you can yourself how happy would you be to have yourself as a partner, what you can bring, what meaningful things can you do, and so on. You have every right to demand that which you can offer, but you can only ask the person that wants the same thing, and where you two are standing right now, I think things are okay. So this might've been just a lot of overthinking 😅

[Asker]

So i might be overthinking? Lol that give me hope a little

[Jasdebi]

Do you think he has any reason to lie? Most of the things that I've mentioned are issues that you would face in a long term relationship, sometimes none of this even is anyone's fault, but isn't it nice to dream? It is, as long as you remember where your standing, so work with what you have, take care.

[Asker]

No he’s usually pretty truthful

[Logorithim]

Hearing that would anger me too, TBH, although I am the type of guy that likes to see his grilfriend regularly, so that probably wouldn't happen to me.

Approach it differently. suggest doing something fun together at a specific time.

[Asker]

Right!

[Tuomaaash]

I think he´s not that into you anymore. He might be spending his time with other people at this point to distance himself from you. I would call him more often and let him know you won´t be going anywhere without an explanation to this. Don´t give up!

[Asker]

He was just spending time with me last week now he’s distant i don’t get it

[Tuomaaash]

People change. He might´ve found someone else more interesting and wants to see if he´d actually miss you if you didn´t hang out that often. He´s testing himself and in the end, you´ll lose unless you force him to accept your feelings

[Asker]

Well why is he still talking to me I’m confused... is it out of guilt? We work at the same job but in separate departments he came over yesterday touched my back and said hey and we were talking like everything was okay

[GingerGuy]

I'm in the same situation almost with my fwbs. She's done almost a complete 180 in her behavior/actions towards me and if I ask her about it, "she's just really busy". But she always has been and found the time before? Totally don't get it. I think they must be loosing interest and just don't want to be the bad guy and say it to you.

[Asker]

If he is loosing interest why does he still talk to me

[tk42jm]

Something not right I don't want to say he's doing something behind your back because I don't know but he could be he also could be over you he doesn't know how to dump you to where you don't hate him

[Asker]

Right that’s what i said , he saw me last week and everything was okay but this week is a different story

[tk42jm]

He's either cheating or he's ignoring you and hoping you'll just say fuck it and move on but I don't know I've never done that to a girl before so kinda hard to tell but most of the time when people start acting like that they're doing something sneaky

[Asker]

If he is loosing interest/cheating why is he still talking to me. Valentine’s Day was good the week after was good now he’s distant

[tk42jm]

Playing hard to get maybe I don't know

[tk42jm]

Like I said I never done that before

[Asker]

Ok thanks

[tk42jm]

I'm trying my hardest not to be negative it's a oh yeah he's cheating on you because I don't know if he is or isn't but from what you say the way he's acting he does seem like there's something wrong going on

[Asker]

Yeah he might be cheating

[tk42jm]

Just be prepared for anything