In general, yes. Kind of. Maybe somewhere in between. The truth is that today the dating game has changed. Being a gentleman might have impressed girls in the 50s, but even though many young girls say that they wished more guys would act like gentlemen and they complain about the lack of chivalry, most of the time today it just doesn't.
I think that what women say they want and what they actually respond to are often two different things. It's like the girls who complain that they can't find a nice guy, then they always end up with some guy who they constantly complain is an asshole. They mock guys who say that girls don't like nice guys but we all know a few girls who do this constantly, and there's a reason they end up with these assholes instead.
It's not because she prefers an asshole, it's about the difference in the way those guys approach dating in general. The gentleman type tends to have romantic ideas about dating. Their general approach is to show the girl what a gentleman they are, what a great guy they are, and how respectful they are. They don't try to sexually escalate because to them that would be disrespectful.
They think that it should go: date -> spend time -> convince her that you're great boyfriend material -> get her to fall in love with you -> get into a relationship -> sex.
A fuckboy is different. He doesn't have these ideas. Instead for him it goes more like: date -> sex -> she pursues a relationship -> he decides whether he wants to or not.
Whenever I took the gentleman approach, I would always be friend-zoned. What tended to happen was that I'd go on quite a few dates, really get to know her, and she'd most likely have already told me the whole "I always end up with assholes who use me for sex so I want to take it slow" thing, so I'd respect that. Eventually she'd end up sleeping with another guy, I'd either find that out from her or someone else, and she'd want to get with him and be "just friends" with me.
I figured that if those girls always ended up with the guys who slept with them quickly, maybe that was what made the difference. As soon as I just became a fuckboy and stopped giving a fuck about trying to be a gentleman myself the tables turned.
Some girls are saying that if you meet "the one" she won't want to date you because you're a fuckboy, they're wrong. The reason women complain about fuckboys is because they have sex with him, fall for him, and he doesn't want to commit. The reason they're pissed off about that is usually because they want a relationship with him and he won't.
Being a ‘fuck boy’ is never better. I don’t understand how that benefits men. I mean if they aren’t competent when selecting a woman after talking to them and meeting them a fair few times then there’s something amiss. I don’t understand the logic of this isn’t working out I’m going to have sex with any woman who is willing, but without the emotion. I honestly get puzzled by that, because either it leaves the woman to fall in love or man (if she’s a hoe) and then left to feel puzzled. Because we can’t separate emotion from sex, it’s impossible.
Not to mention if you ended up falling for a woman who was just a ‘fuck buddy’ the chances of her cheating or just being messed up to say yes to most men for sex is going to be high. The trouble is people aren’t selective when choosing a partner, people are just to quick at jumping into bed because it’s easier. when you look for a partner, you look for someone who will be one day good enough to be a mother to raise a family ans vice versa.
yeah but if you become a fuckboy and you actually meet 'the one' they're unlikely to want to actually date you. girls talk, and you'll only ever be a 'fuckboy' and someone to avoid.
I don't know. If I understand correctly, a fuckboy will say and do whatever he can to get into a woman's pants, and often will use deception to do that.
It might depend on the type of girls in the culture but I never felt a need to use deception. You can be straightforward and retain some gentleman qualities (including classical ones like making sure to walk on the side of the street with oncoming traffic, holding open doors, pulling her seat for her to sit in, etc) with a girl who just wants to have sex with you and then you have sex.
The main kind of mistakes and problems even with the gentleman type here in Japan who strikes out with the ladies is the "submissive gentleman". An extreme example, and this is actually literal, is one acquaintance of mine who was so like that where he would chase after girls from behind offering his jacket because it was cold. One glance at him and you see a kind of "doormat servant" type who is lowering himself to the woman and so eager to please.
Very important in my opinion to attract women is to master the traits of dominance, assertiveness, and seduction. Those are the *man* parts of gentleman which are arguably more important to attract than being gentle. But if you can really get the hang of that vibe, I think you can be quite gentle as well and not have points taken off for it.
I think the dominance and assertiveness aspect probably applied even for the classical gentleman. I imagine many were very manly men, probably having fought in wars and having lead very challenging lives.
Maybe the seduction aspect wasn't quite as essential back then, I'm not sure. These days it's a much more sexually explicit society so I do think you have to be able to seduce and mesmerize a woman with the way you look at her, speak to her, touch her.
There maybe fuckboys have an advantage since they're playing the fields and saying anything they can to get in a woman's pants, so they probably accumulate experience very quickly in terms of what does and doesn't work from a seduction standpoint. But a person can play the game honestly and still acquire those qualities, and if he does, then I don't think he has to lose the gentleman qualities even if all he wants to do is sleep with many women.
it's all up 2 you want fuck lots of girl be a fuckboy average sex is 2 mins max 10 with 4play i don't care about sex i prefer the conversation and time spent with them
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