Boyfriend's mom called me by his ex's name.. why?

[Anonymous]

So him and his ex have been together for 4 years... and his ex had a really close relationship with his mom... they broke up almost a year ago and we have been dating for few month only.. his mom had some wine (i don't think she was that drunk) and she just came to the room.. sat on the chair.. looked at me and said "well hi there ***his ex's name*** i haven't seen you in a while"... the thing is she hadn't seen me in a while too... so i hope it was just out of habit, hope she wanted to say my name but slipped... she than apologized to me and said to my boyfriend "' please don't tell your father about this" than we continued convo and she said my name 2 times after that... so do you think she likes his ex more or she just said that out of habit? do you think there is more to this or am I just overthinking?

[btbc92]

Yep. She had high hopes for his ex to the point she thought they were going to marry. 4 years is a long time and its around a time, depending on age to consider marriage. Now she has to get used to you being around and only said your name out of respect. It may not be because she dislikes you. She just sounds torn about the relationship ending.

[pleasestopthis]

Seriously, what is wrong with you. You just made a whole story based in a meaningless slip.

[btbc92]

@pleasestopthis I did not make up a story. I read it as I did. That is exactly what mothers do when they are attached to a person that they hope to marry their son. Most mothers wants to see their son's married. That doesn't mean they personally were going to marry.

[pleasestopthis]

You're overthinking things. She probably just said that out of habit, and older women tend to scramble people's names a lot.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do girls so frequently overinterpret every little thing that happens?

Has your mother every called you and inadvertently said the name of one of your siblings? It means nothing.

[btbc92]

No woman ever does that, that's why. My mother never did that with siblings. It does mean something because his mother really liked the ex. You're not a woman, so you wouldn't know.

[OlderAndWiser]

@btbc92 Your experience is not the norm.

[btbc92]

My point is not based on experience, but by choice. People do these things by choice. The problem is a lot of people ignore these warning signs.

[btbc92]

The mother is attached to the ex. You can tell they had a very close and intimate relationship as if they were already mother and daughter. It's going to take a while for her to adjust to the change.

[OlderAndWiser]

@btbc92 If you already have the answers to all of your questions, why did you post this?

[btbc92]

Post what?

[btbc92]

All I did was correct your opinion about girls/women over-interpreting things. That is not what is happening in this situation.

[OlderAndWiser]

@btbc92 You already have all the answers so why bother asking the questions?

[btbc92]

What questions? I never made this question. That was the Asker, not me.

[pleasestopthis]

@btbc92 Well I'm a woman and my mother and aunts did that all the time.

[btbc92]

@pleasestopthis When you are around dysfunctional people, that happens all the time. Women, in general, are more prone to do that than men, is all. That doesn't mean all women do it.

[pleasestopthis]

@btbc92 alright, then. Just believe whatever you want to believe. Why bother asking dumb questions then?

[btbc92]

@pleasestopthis Why is everybody asking me that I asked a question! I'm not the ASKER.

[pleasestopthis]

Oh, you're not the asker. Good to know. Nevermind then.

[OlderAndWiser]

@btbc92 Sorry I confused you with the Asker.

[worldscolide]

Why is it that women read too much into everything seriously, its sad.

[btbc92]

Because we have intuition. We don't read too much into anything. It's how we're wired biologically. We know things. Some like me are stronger than others. Some women do things like that deliberately, but you men act oblivious to it, or know about it and do nothing which gets a lot of us pissed.

[worldscolide]

I would disagree that women dont read too much into things.. they do. Often times when dealing with men things are as they are, there is no hidden subtext.. women dont accept that, but it is the truth.. part of why I'm with my wife.. she's a straight shooter and always says what she means.

[btbc92]

No, that's due to personality. Not what we're discussing. She shares the same or similar functions psychology as you. Not every man is honest or direct as you. We should never assume based on gender or sex. When I use intuition I'm 99.9% correct. It's others who don't want to accept the truth. Again, women are born with intuition but not everybody is good at it, and often projects. I believe that is what you are trying to say, in which case, I agree with you. Projecting and blindside our intuition to the point we can make grave mistakes. But when you rely on experience, you tend to learn from the past that this is what happens.

[btbc92]

All a woman wants is reassurance and the truth. But when men figures they don't have to do this, it makes it worse and a communication breakdown happens which cause mistrust. Often times a man misses on the obvious clues in front of him that matter to women. That insecurity needs to be respected for a woman to fully trust her partner.

[worldscolide]

Makes sense.. make it a point to always be truthful with my wife..

[btbc92]

That is what separates you from other men who don't share your values.