Why would my boyfriend call me "mom"?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 5 months now and known each other for a year. We've passed the initial phase and now we're just comfortable being with each other. My boyfriend has this habit of having me cuddle him, and he'll look up with puppy eyes and call me "mommy." I never thought anything of it since I thought he's just joking and fooling around. But last night when he fell asleep cuddling, he called me "mom" couple times, in English and in his native language...sleep talking? Of course, when he woke up this morning he completely denied it and just laughed it off. He never felt much love from his mom, and he has admitted before that he's always looking for a motherly figure in his life...do you guys think he sees me more as a caretaker rather than a girlfriend? I'm just really confused.

[vice-chix1]

I am sure that is confusing!

I think this is a string with many threads requiring you to take the time to get get to know him to truly see what is stirring his desire for maternal care.

From my perspective - I think he's probably feeling safe/secure and lovingly cared for in your arms. He feels protected with you -- and that's a great thing! The question is how do you feel about thta responsibility?

I don't think he sees you as a caretaker at all. Rather... I think he feels a sense of trust in your presence... and is exhibiting a somewhat submissive quality. Not a sexual one. The question again is whether you feel "right" as the dominant paternal role in the relationship? Does that make YOU happy?

If we flip your situation based on gender roles... we can think of many examples in movies and even real-life where an often older man dates a younger woman and she finds comfort/trust and security with her partner as a father-figure as much as a lover. Social norms aside... there is an entire sub-culture of BDSM lifestylers called lil's and daddy-doms that live there life like this 24-7. And find absolutely joy and happiness in that lifestyle and relationship model.

[Asker]

Thanks for the great answer! It definitely rested some doubts I've been having. My boyfriend is much older than me, but I definitely see that he's as much of a child as a 10 year old. You're absolutely right in that it is a lot of responsibility on my part. The relationship is quiet heavy for me since he doesn't at all take on the protective/nurturing role.

[babet]

Why would my boyfriend call me mom?

It could be a sign of respect. In some cultures, it is common for people to refer to their elders as "mother" or "father."

If your boyfriend comes from a culture that has this tradition, then it's possible that he's showing you respect by calling you "mom."

It could also be a sign of affection. Some people use terms of endearment like mom or "dad" as a way to show their loved ones how much they mean to them. So if your boyfriend calls you "mom," it could be his way of showing you how much he cares about you.

Of course, there could also be a more practical explanation. If your boyfriend is younger than you, or if you have children together, then it might just be easier for him to call you "mom" instead of using your real name.

Whatever the reason, there's no need to be alarmed if your boyfriend calls you "mom."

It could just be his way of showing you how much he cares about you.

[Anonymous]

That's pretty weird ...

... but you mentioned that English is not his native language, so it may be an acceptable term of endearment in his country?

[Anonymous]

I think he sees in you what he wishes his mother could have have him

Be careful with this one

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer! But in what ways should I be careful?

[Opinion Owner]

Be careful with your heart. I hope you won't end up with a broken heart

[JakeTheCultist]

It's a term of adoration, very much like when a girl calls her boyfriend Daddy.

He likely feels loved around you, safe. A lot of guys like the Maternal sort of roles their partner takes with them (Myself included).

If you're uncomfortable with him calling you that, you should probably just tell him that. You could always try to talk what could be a suitable term that makes you both feel happy with.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry but that’s really fucking weird and I’d be extremely creeped out.

[Taylor_C]

Take it as a compliment. It means he's feeling comfortable with you, and if he needs a "mom" in the sense of someone to feel safe and secure with, then be that "mom". If it makes you uncomfortable, then by all means talk to him about it.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Why don't you make a couple of hot beverages, sit him down and ask him what he misses most about his childhood.
See if he opens up to you.

[yucychan]

Yes, I think he sees you more as a motherly figure.
The question is are you fine with it?

[jasco]

No but he does see you better than his mom. So who knows

[temptationfalls]

That's kind of awkward.

[WhitneySnow]

He might see you as a mother figure

[Uptowngirl88]

Because y'all both crazy

[NYlatefun]

Lol that’s so weird! Sorry!

[Ozzie_Cheddar]

He could just be kinky

[clemdenim]

who is the dominate one

[cbt1966]

He wants to knock you up.

[sheikalana]

Mommy issues?