Why would my boyfriend call me "mom"?

We've been together for 5 months now and known each other for a year. We've passed the initial phase and now we're just comfortable being with each other. My boyfriend has this habit of having me cuddle him, and he'll look up with puppy eyes and call me "mommy." I never thought anything of it since I thought he's just joking and fooling around. But last night when he fell asleep cuddling, he called me "mom" couple times, in English and in his native language...sleep talking? Of course, when he woke up this morning he completely denied it and just laughed it off. He never felt much love from his mom, and he has admitted before that he's always looking for a motherly figure in his life...do you guys think he sees me more as a caretaker rather than a girlfriend? I'm just really confused.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am sure that is confusing!

    I think this is a string with many threads requiring you to take the time to get get to know him to truly see what is stirring his desire for maternal care.

    From my perspective - I think he's probably feeling safe/secure and lovingly cared for in your arms. He feels protected with you -- and that's a great thing! The question is how do you feel about thta responsibility?

    I don't think he sees you as a caretaker at all. Rather... I think he feels a sense of trust in your presence... and is exhibiting a somewhat submissive quality. Not a sexual one. The question again is whether you feel "right" as the dominant paternal role in the relationship? Does that make YOU happy?

    If we flip your situation based on gender roles... we can think of many examples in movies and even real-life where an often older man dates a younger woman and she finds comfort/trust and security with her partner as a father-figure as much as a lover. Social norms aside... there is an entire sub-culture of BDSM lifestylers called lil's and daddy-doms that live there life like this 24-7. And find absolutely joy and happiness in that lifestyle and relationship model.

    • Thanks for the great answer! It definitely rested some doubts I've been having. My boyfriend is much older than me, but I definitely see that he's as much of a child as a 10 year old. You're absolutely right in that it is a lot of responsibility on my part. The relationship is quiet heavy for me since he doesn't at all take on the protective/nurturing role.

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  • That's pretty weird ...

    ... but you mentioned that English is not his native language, so it may be an acceptable term of endearment in his country?

  • I think he sees in you what he wishes his mother could have have him

    Be careful with this one

    • Thanks for your answer! But in what ways should I be careful?

    • Be careful with your heart. I hope you won't end up with a broken heart