How Often Should A Couple Argue Or Fight To Maintain A Healthy Relationship?

Question

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SuperManiac · Accepted Answer

Ideally "never" if you ask me. My wife is the only one I ever stayed with for such a long time, let alone living with, without ever "fighting". That's not to say we agreed on everything or never had a little heated emotions during those times, but I would call "fighting" like a process that's just escalating and escalating with no end in sight until a couple is no longer speaking to each other for good periods of time or borderline breaking up (maybe followed by make up).

I never had this with my wife. With her, if there's any little heat or moodiness behind our disagreements, quickly (within minutes) it moves towards a deescalation strategy (with both of us working to deescalate) where we're resolving the conflict instead of making it worse and worse.

NicoD · Accepted Answer

My thought on this is fuck arguing if we got a problem then we deal with them like responsible adults. If that don't work then we have make up and by then you will have forgotten what you were arguing about. So if you or your partner seem to have a problem brewing fuck it just gone and make up move on cause arguing is really wasted time when you both could be doing other things like making your relationship tighter better and exciting. Instead of dramatic and boring. So don't argue make up and show her. The snoring video and vice versa. And watch how much more positive productivity you will get in a long and prosperous relationship.

SueAnon84 · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I might not get the popular vote here but I think the more fights you have, the more you should realize that you two aren't compatible! If you were, you wouldn't BE fighting! You would be in harmony! I know it's not a perfect world, and it also depended on what the fight was about (a big or small issue) but given that a lot of people stay in bad relationships because of the good sex, tells me that our priorities can get screwed up! Sex can mask incompatibility and abuse sometimes unfortunately! And you don't need to fight constantly or argue. If you argue a lot also it tells more about your constant need to be right all the time which is selfish (there needs to be compromise sometimes in a relationship!).

Thanks for the question :-)

CherryRoseChampange · Accepted Answer

Not all the time but every once and a while is healthy. That's only for healthy relationships to begin with though. If both people are shitty with communication or toxic indicuals. Arguing will break them not build them.

For me and my SO, we argue every so often but every single time we come to a conclusion and mend things. We learn and grow to better ourselves for each other. That's important and I think every relationship should have that.

Apple1996 · Answer

I think once a week is pretty realistic. Fighting makes a couple stronger and should not be looked down on. Me and my hubby fight a lot but It makes us understand eachother more so I dont mind it

SydneySentinel · Answer

Schedule it on the calendar. One day a month, we let everything out that we've been holding in. Then we wrestle.

Chikky · Answer

I wish we don't get to argue, that shit weighs me down

jaygee933 · Answer

Fighting and arguing are not inherently bad in a relationship. If you and your SO are fighting, that's actually an opportunity to communicate your issues with each other and strengthen your relationship. What is bad is having a fight and not actually resolving the problem so the same or similar fights keep happening.

mamasan · Answer

I don't think there is a MINIMUM amount of fighting to maintain a health relationship, but there is definitely a MAXIMUM. Once it feels like you're fighting more than you get along, or if you can't go on vacation together without arguing the whole time, that's definitely not a healthy relationship.

Unirocks · Answer

I actually don’t believe fights are really required. Of course, disagreements are normal. But there are a lot of things that can be resolved without a fight.
I’ve been dating for 1.5 years and my boyfriend and I don’t fight. We disagree, but we amicably resolve it in a calm manner. I think that is a lot better, especially compared to my previous relationships where fights were common.

SongBird3 · Answer

I think its not so much how often they fight but specifically what they’re fighting about. If they fight about stupid little things, than thats not a healthy relationship. If they only had a few arguments (but they were warranted, and they worked it out) than i would say its good

trapper1738 · Answer

Never. My ex and I had a very wonderful relationship and never fought. Sure we said some dumb things just to get on each others nerves but we never argued over anything. We came to agreements easily and compromised when needed. We are not together anymore simply because we wanted something different and both of us were chill with ending things on a good note. We still talk and hang out.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Most arguments are dumb and pointless, just look around on this website lol, I enjoy a good debate/ argument, but in the end none of it really matters. Some people just like the rollercoaster of emotions. For the 10% of arguments that are really necessary, very few couples even know how to make those arguments productive, most wanna "score points" against one another. They think it's about "leverage", and in doing so, they both lose.

Denniszen · Answer

Never. I never saw my parents fight, call names, yell, scream or even raise a hand to each other.

There is a time and place to discuss everything and If you love me as much as I love you will wait until I am in my rational mind to ASK if I am in the mood to discuss it.

And then we can work to a resolution. Nothing is so big it can't be resloved.

LostThought · Answer

If it really boils down to it, I think everything can be handled without a fight. An argument is just two people trying to convince the other of their point of view. So the first thing you should do is try to understand theirs and rebuttal in favour of your point of view if it hasn't changed. You can do this slowly and patiently

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think normal couples who get on each others nerves tend to argue  i would say once in blue moon , i refuse to stay in relationship where there is arguments all the time.

Cessalyn · Answer

At least try not to argue. I've been in a relationship where we always argue and it's tiring/toxic. Now, I'm glad that I with a guy who is willing to settle things without throwing harsh words. We learned to listen to our point of views instead of throwing who is right or wrong.

docbanner · Answer

If their just normally bickering mates its look. Like the Bundy's. But when it's pure hate and spitefulness. Leaving lasting damage realize both of you have sat fire to one another. Are you going to kept painfully burning, or walk away?

drindyjones00 · Answer

I don't think they should fight unless it is a last resort. If they have anything they disagree about the should or feel might lead to a fight, they should sit down discuss, and fully listen to each other and be open.

coolbreeze · Answer

They should never fight or argue. Fighting leads to unnessary stress and drama. I think space alone is always a better solution.

MotherlessDaughter · Answer

Well arguments are normal. I mean come on what couples never fight? Couples are supposed to argue otherwise they wouldn't have a real relationship or learn how to solve problems.

Jammers14 · Answer

What about basic communication? Fighting and arguing are just emotionally loaded words and can possibly lead to yelling matches that don’t solve anything.

ariadneR · Answer

Healthy debates. We dont go to bed angry, and we sort it out before the night is done.  Also, you never argue in front of the children. Never argue. We wait until they go to bed and talk things out.

ChronicThinker · Answer

I don't think there's a set amount. I personally feel that it's more ideal to be able to talk shit out over arguing, though arguing obviously happens.

madgoat · Answer

Some argument in a relationship is healthy. It's said to show both are able to express themselves fully. Obviously if it's too often, violent or unresolved then it leads to problems.

gaurwaith · Answer

it's healthy to argue? I completely disagree. in fact I refuse to enter into arguments with people because it never solves anything, it just makes things worse. isn't that why they are called arguments and not conversations?

ghostbunnywhite · Answer

Can we just talk normally😅? Why need a yelling img?

DiegoO · Answer

Hmm, the frequency is not the problem, the problem is the inability to solve those fights in an assertive way. There will always be fights in a relationship, however, when it's over the same things, that should be worrying.

OddBeMe · Answer

All the time. Gotta let out your feelings. My wife and I fight constantly about mundane things and occasionally big stuff. But we’re so relaxed doing it that there’s never any animosity. And the angry sex is great.

Loving_Husband · Answer

If I follow my wife's rules there won't be much arguing and it will keep me from getting punished

GreenGold1992 · Answer

I have no idea, I wasn't even aware arguing was needed to maintain a healthy relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Since when is it healthy? My parent always fought since I was a kid, and that gave me anxiety about dating anyone

Cybernizer · Answer

Never. A couple should try to minimize arguments and compromise on things if they are able to.

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

I dobt think there should be a number... however sometimes those toxic relationships are the most fun

Mr_Mystery · Answer

Doctors recommend it at least once a day, and if you live very busy life you should aim for at least once during weekend.

Browser101 · Answer

Occasionally it happens but things should be resolved before a blow up

cheekylad · Answer

Can't stand it my dad did it to my mum ever Day long Couse they're a need to agree just don't push it

Twalli · Answer

You can have a good relationship without it, but not if you conceal your feelings.

LeoEmpath6 · Answer

Depends on the couple and what they want from their relationship

Gramkabir · Answer

This is good questing and I'm even interested to know...

AngelKiss9786 · Answer

I do not know the answer to that question but I remember not fighting very often and that was great.

TitanDaddy · Answer

It is not a fight it's a healthy discussion with two opinions that becomes a resolution of a topic

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes, but it should be to a certain extent as long as their's no violence or intense words

dragoblack · Answer

It's better to talk it out than have a yelling contest of anger

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

By not fighting at all or rarely in my opinion.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Probably a few times a week

soniaaaaaaa · Answer

Well we set up a timer and fight in regular time

Gronflax · Answer

Only when it's important.

Melshmallow046 · Answer

Never. Calmly discuss things.

Tony1Kanobi · Answer

I try to avoid fights so i think zero.

LuvAsh · Answer

I don't think there is a specific number lol

CarpetDenim · Answer

Arguing and fighting is not required to have a healthy relationship, and I’d venture to say it has more negative affects than positive ones.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Not sure, i don't like arguing.

Ben228 · Answer

Not sure on the amount as much as what it's about.

Holy_Ghost_Fire · Answer

Couples should never argue or fight.

Benjr134 · Answer

I’d say once a week or a little more.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

As often as needed

BillieJean1070 · Answer

Never argue.

Hannajenky · Answer

Lmao not everyday?

Quidthonian · Answer

Once a month.

LuWe22 · Answer

None at all

oldfabulousfart · Answer

daily

SearchingTheSoul · Answer

Her finger is freaking long!

Babygirl_S · Answer

Lol.

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