How often do couples in a healthy relationship fight?

[Anonymous]

If you're in a couple and you're happy in your relationship, please tell me about the frequency of your fights with your partner.

Me and my finance we fight about 3 or 4 times a week, and I'm worried that's a high frequency.

Updates

1 y

Thanks all.. No we don't actually fight and hurt each other, we just get annoyed and that would lead to long discussions for us to listen and understand where is it coming from and how to avoid it in the future.. Eventually we always make up. The problem is we often would get annoyed by something one of us said and it would create some distance between us. I wonder if that's normal because going through that every couple of days is a little worrying for me.. Maybe we arr too different.

[DaveJord]

Like never. It depends on what you mean by fight... I mean there are disagreements but to the degree that you are yelling and screaming and name calling. Like never not in healthy relationships.

If you and finance are fighting this much then break off the engagement because with marriage it will become 10 times worse. Doesn't sound like a good relationship and you should be extremely worried.

I have been in bad relationships, when I was young and I thought it was all a joke and didn't take it seriously enough. I was a fool. Don't be a fool.

[DaveJord]

To the update... no I say its still not normal to get super annoyed even if there's no yelling or scream. As I said before I have been through this. Those super long discussions become super draining over time, the annoyance stacks up, and the distance actually becomes more isolating because when they do that you get a reprieve from the BS.

Seriously not matter how small or trival the matter is, if you're beginning to feel this way and your not even married... trust me it will be 10 times worse after married... right noe you're willing to talk about it but at some piont your going feel like you are making all these concessions for this women. And still she won't shut the fuck up, complaining about everything, projecting her feelings on you when honestly all you want is for her stop bitching all the time and just be happy, because its making you miserable. See right now you're in love so you're all about making work, because at some piont this women will really be that person thst know she can be for you, and can be for her. Later on when reality hits it turns in to resentment. Because you look back and be forced to admit that she was who you thought she even then, and has been what thought she could of been, and probably never be who wish she could be for into the future.

And if you come back saying its nothing like that... then your lying to yourself... or this whole posted is BS because then you got nothing to be complaining about, and you're worried over nothing.

[DaveJord]

Typos... you will look back and have to admit that even now she was not who you thought she was, she never became who you thought she could be, and she will mostly never be who you wish she could be moving forward.

[Emiliamazing]

This is an important question, good for you for asking. How we approach each other in a quarrel in our home depends on the topic. If it’s how to handle a child issue, we both seem more patient. If one of us has done something thoughtless that offends the other, it can be a bit more heated. As you grow in your relationship you’ll hopefully pick up on the cues that upset yourself as well as your significant other and you’ll be able to catch yourself before the anger truly arrives.

[jennifer_bloom]

My cousin would fight around 3-4 times an evening during vacations and I don’t know what they were like behind closed doors but their arguments were never cruel - it was just displeasure and healthy rebuke.

[Jayjay1234567890]

I think it depends on what are you fighting about. I'v been married for almost 5 years now. We fight a lot specially in the beginning ( when neither would back down 🤣) slowly it supposed to either get less frequent then this or you would make up quicker

[sheikalana]

Me and my husband never really had a huge fight. We have this agreement between us that we will never raise out voices at each other and has been like this since the beginning. We've had a few disagreements but we always manage to fix things between each other in a calmly manner. Communication is very important and you need to be open minded and accept that you're not always going to agree with each other. I'd say we have disagreements every two months sometimes less.

[Screenwriter]

Is this small disagreements or knock down drag outs? Tiffs are ordinary.

Angry, messy fights 3 or 4 times a week are not.

[Screenwriter]

There is a possibility that you ARE too different. Even arguments where you get pissed off at each other that regularly would be unusual.

[LazerBean]

Bad fights? Never. Mild disagreements? I guess a few times a year is fine.

[Nikki1989]

We have never had one fight in the 6 years we have been together.

[In_Trance]

Next to never