I'd say so. In my case, I was never the type prone to what people seem to describe as "infatuation", not because I didn't become attached to girls too quickly when I was much younger (definitely did that back then), but because I genuinely cared about their well-being and was committed and devoted.
I seem to be what some call an "empath", as in hyper-empathetic and perhaps as a borderline personality disorder. I'm impulsively inclined to care for a person if I see them upset, e. g., with little distinction whether they're my closest friend or a complete stranger. Unless someone shows me that they lack interest in my attention or are unworthy of it, I tend to care about them and their well-being.
So I might experience love in a somewhat different way than most which make me somewhat incapable of "infatuation", only "love". Even when I grew fond for a girl too quickly (and this was still never anywhere close to at first sight), it wasn't just "I want her", it was always also "I want her to be happy" and I'm in it for the long haul.
In spite of all this, I still found a very unhealthy way to love now in hindsight. I dated and even became engaged to be married to a bipolar anemic girl, and the way I grew my love for her was like how a parent loves their child. I think some call this a "codependency". It's like I fell in love with the idea that she needed me, and there was probably some ego there but also thoughts like, "Who is going to remind her to take her medication if I'm not around? Who is going to research and cook foods for her that help her anemia and prevent her fainting spells? Who is going to carry her home when she faints?"
In retrospect that was a very unhealthy way to love at least in a romantic way. I didn't know this at the time though. I thought that was the deepest type of love was to base that idea on someone needing me while I take care of them. I even liked how it brought out the noblest and best and least selfish and least lazy side of me at the time, eager to step up to the plate and handle all kinds of situations.
After that relationship ended though and I found my wife, I was able to compare the massive differences. My wife is hardly the type to "need" anyone. She's extremely self-sufficient, and so healthy both physically and mentally. She "wanted" me, and I "wanted" her, and she cared about me, and I cared about her. I didn't know this type of love was possible until I met my wife, but now I can compare the difference and say that this is a much healthier type of love.
The right way to love for me is when mutual respect and happiness is prioritized. I also don't believe that a relationship has to conform to what outsiders believe should be right or "healthy". As long as both partners are truly happy with the way things are, they are loving each other the right way.
Consequently, the wrong way to love (in my opinion) is when one partner sacrifices their happiness to further the other's alone; allowing them to hurt/upset him/her and enforce some ridiculous idea that their silence is "love". One's happiness and opinions are neither higher nor lower in value than their partner's in a relationship. Thus in a conflict of interests, there must either be consensus, compromise, equivalent exchange, or preservation of the status quo.
I believe the above link. We all have different ways to feel love and care. Successful friendships/relationships give the love and care that person needs in the way they can feel/process it. Most really argue why their way is the better one and why they need what they need.. or who is more just over the other.
Itll be wrong if partners don't simply know how they feel love and how to give it. Attracting and accepting people that accept those ways and are similar
The link gives a test on what your s p. o specific order of needs are.
I find we all know how to love. Giving is much harder.
Yes there is If u love someone just because of looks , what they have , what they wear , how much money they have , job , etc IT WRONG AS HELL
If u love the person because u love the person for who she / he is , wanting to be committed , stay with that person no matter what , etc THAT IS RIGHT
In my relationships, there has been a "right" way (which means that it works) and a wrong way (which means that it doesn't work) to love my partner, but what works for each partner has been different.
I think so. To tell a story I was in love with my girlfriend when we were both teens. I was a few years older. I hadn't had a lot of luck with the ladies before then but I had joined the Corp and I was fighting them off with a stick. I was arrogant and self centered and the temptations proved to be too much. Perhaps its just regret I don't know. But I contend I DID love her but I didn't know how to love in a mature caring way which was compounded by my own lack of experience and knowledge caused me to lose her. To this day Id cut my arm off if I could have avoided hurting her. she's now been married and divorced. she's living her dream life with her daughter. I wish she were our daughter
Yes, you can love a person on a way he/she doesn't want to be loved.
By example. Players love is good for fun, but if the other person want something else, you have a problem.
Romantic love is the best for a couple but if the other person doesn't know how to love, you have a problem. (I almost always bet for romantic love, so one of my tests at dating go to this)
Polylove is good for people with some needs that want a relation, it isn't if you don't want to stand some things...
So I would say there are many ways to love, and that incompatibilities are which make the trash thing.
Yes of course. Sadly the wrong way to love someone is to simply love them in the way they want to be loved and not in the way they need to be loved. Love, a right love, is a behavior and an action. Its purest form is doing what's good and right, that which is best for a person, even if neither you nor they want it.
You can love someone so much to the point you are over jealous and to afraid to let them have something in their life without you. Smoothing them if you like. You can love someone right talk to them about things that bother you. Respect their choices as they should your basically mutual respect and trust. Trust is huge in a relationship. Trust each other enough to explain what each of you want in and out of the bedroom. If the person you love tell or ask you to do something and you don't like it keep an open mind and this goes both ways. Bottom line is if you can't communicate openly without getting upset instead of coming to a mutual agreement. You need to find someone you love enough too communicate without getting upset that would be true love because that and trust is the heart of the relationship. True love!!
Well, yes some people like to loved in a certain way and they themselves would show love in a certain way.
For example, take the asexuals. I mean people who are asexual, can and will only show non-sexual ways of physical love and affection and they themselves would prefer that kind of love only.
I think there is definitely a right and wrong way to pursue love and/or manifest it. Depending on yourself, the object of your love, your culture and society, the actions you take in consequence of your feelings, or to demonstrate them, can be perceived as that, right or wrong.
Yes, not all people are compatible. We all show affection differently and we need different things from the ones we love. There is not a singular way to show you love someone so it is important to understand what ypur partner need and be able to give it to them. I myself need a person that show affection through touch and I need a person that can have real and meaningful conversations with but everyone is different.
the only right answer is "you should love someone in the way that they want/need to be loved"... humans are very rarely able to do it right, but everyone should strive for perfection in showing their life partner how much they love them...
I dont think there is one right way, but there are many wrong ways to love. Most of which involve treating the object of your affection as an object, or something to be possessed or protected
Sure. The right way is doing what is best for them for example, not always what they want. A wrong way to love them is to do *anything* for them, as in say, cover up a crime they've committed and refusing to hand them in to justice.
There is only on way to love someone. But often times, lust and want are confused with love. True love, is to want and work for what is best for the one you love.
Yes some people believe anally is the wrong way and vaginally is the right way, but apparently oral is a right way too so I must say I do believe these people are hypocrites.
I think you can be for i have been in that kind of relationship but I did notice tell it was to late i was to blind with my own love for her to really see the abuse i went threw when she left i quickly saw the truth hurts to this day
I have someone in my life that says they love me and the way they show it. Is bitching non stop about everything i do not one good thing is ever sed out of there mouth
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
+1 y
+1 y
Most Helpful Opinions