Is there a right and wrong way to love?

[MLGbreezy]

I don’t mean the unhealthy shit but I alway see people out there giving all this dating advice and how traditional relationships are the way to go or that your weird for falling in love with someone you barley know or how your dumb for being open to something new rather than stick to the status quo.

I feel like ever since I started dating I’ve been told I’m not good enough or that I’m not wanted but even more frustrating that my why of loving is the wrong way or that I’m weird. I feel like love at first sight or loving more quickly or early on compared to other nowadays makes you weird. That or being persistent if your persistent now or chase a woman then you weird or a harasser.

I feel like these sentiments are the same as being told you quote in quote special in school because you don’t get something as quickly as someone else just cause you don’t learn at the same pace as some other kids. All that while the other kids call you dumb behind your back or retarded.

As I get older I’m starting to understand that people are dumb everyone is different just cause you love quicker than others or hang on to things tighter or are more persistent doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and it doesn’t make you weird. All this to an extent obviously once you start cussing boldly or mental harm to anyone as well as discomfort that is where the line should be drawn.

For me I’m an intense person I love quick and I love hard sometimes that can be a bad thing but when you find someone who can match that it can be worth it just gotta find someone who can match you.

Everyone always thinks they know what they are talking about yet dating is in the worst places it’s ever been and peoples advice is to keep doing the same thing or go back to what we used to do um yeah that’s clearly isn’t working but to each his own.

[Summeroflove]

I will say everyone’s looking for something different so some people aren’t compatible. Traditional relationships work if they’re done right most people don’t know what they’re doing and it attracts a lot of turds from both sexes. That just makes the entire thing look bad…

People with a good heart seeking a traditional relationship if they don’t know what they’re doing are setting themselves up for a life of misery. I am talking both men as well as women who can end up finding themselves in a extremely abusive, controlling, and one sided relationship if they aren’t careful.

I will say the people crying how they want a traditional relationship only want the benefits of it particularly women. Who have this fantasy that it’s going to be a free ride in life. Until they marry someone and just complain constantly that they have to work. They’re mad they’re doing the work around the house, the childcare, and the whole list of things goes on. But then these same women don’t want to go pick up any sort of employment either.

Not all of them are like that. There is also men who want someone to control and manipulate as well.

People who understand equal effort as well as genuinely love one another can make it work. A lot of people want to force their idea of a relationship on people. Because they aren’t happy so they have to convince everyone the way they’re doing it is the right way.

[Douglas1179]

I actually have the same problem. I fall in love pretty easily, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm more in love with Love than I am with women. Being in love releases dopamine, it feels good, it fills a void.

It's probably not healthy, though, and the root cause is some deep-down self-loathing. It probably has to do more with avoiding myself.

But more importantly, just remember that, yes, you are abnormal and try to keep these feelings to yourself. Women have to balance their heads and their hearts and take a pragmatic approach to relationships for obvious reasons -- they don't want to end up with some psycho who's going to hurt them. So, the last thing you want to do is tell them you're in love -- it's a huge red flag. Keep that shit to yourself and let things develop naturally.

[MLGbreezy]

Honestly disagree if that’s how you’ve chosen to rationalize things that’s entirely fine especially if it helps you move forward.

But I’m sick of hearing the world tell me I’m in the wrong for something that’s always felt natural to me. I’m a loving person because that’s who I am even if it hurts me sometimes I think it’s important to learn the right person to love and when to be respectful to someone else if they just don’t feel the same and they’ve made it abundantly clear.

I don’t love because it feels good or to get some dopamine rush never love just cause a lot of the time weather I realize it or not these are just the feelings I have for a particular person at that time. But I’m sick of hearing that im the issue because the way I love isn’t the way you love especially when I’m not hurting anyone by it.

[Douglas1179]

Honestly, I think you have emophilia, caused by chemical imbalances in neurotransmitters, and it can be quite detrimental. Dopamine, known as the "love hormone", is associated with pleasure and reward in the brain. Low serotonin levels can cause impulsiveness, anxiety, and irritability.

Emophilia may be related to personality traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. People with emophilia may be attracted to people with these traits, or they may not have these traits themselves but be attracted to others who do.

It may be related to hypersensitivity to oxytocin, a hormone that's associated with bonding and stress. People with emophilia may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as: ignoring red flags in a relationship, Having unprotected sex, Cheating, and Lying and covering for a partner.

Some treatments:
-Learning to set boundaries
-Asking a trusted friend to provide feedback on new partners
-Being more selective about romantic partners

[HawkPerception]

There are some people that are more philosophically inclined than others. Some people understand what being in a healthy relationship means and what's required to be a good partner. For others, the meaning eludes them.

[EzraIsShy76028]

I mean usually not, not unless you confuse lust with love. When you confuse lust with love when reality finally kicks in you'll be like "shit I only married this person cuz they give really great sex, but turns out they're insufferable!"

[Blueeyes81]

Sounds to me like you are dating the wrong people. By this I mean if you fall fast then find someone who falls fast. It's asinine to expect someone to move fast because you do. There is no normal just find someone who's compatible and moves at the same speed. The irony is you are doing the very thing you are calling others out for. Just do you.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Disregarding the social expectations and implications regarding love, from a psychological perspective only feeling love

[IslaTheWitch]

anything that hurts others is wrong...

[NicholasRedone]

Indeed and add anal to that list lol 😆

[Anonymous]

Honestly. That's the only way as far as I'm concerned. I really don't know why people even bother if they're not going to be honest.

[MLGbreezy]

I don't know if you mean the traditional way or just finding someone that suits you but if your speaking on the matter than I agree.

I get to an extent why some insist on what used to work, at the need of the day it’s something they are familiar with but that doesn’t necessarily make it better.

[MLGbreezy]

I alway hear all this talk of growth and change yet we refuse to change how we do dating or if we do some take it to the extreme. I think we need to find a healthy balance individually. I’m not sure if something like a general idea of how a relationship should go for everyone can be done I feel like there’s to many different personalities out there getting together for it to go one standard way which is why I never understood that concept.

[NicholasRedone]

There's pounding versus love making 😋😄🎉

[NicholasRedone]

Thanks rose 😊🌹

[Crazzyyworld]

There is sex, money for sure. No love

[MLGbreezy]

Why your one of the only girls that replied to my post thank you. And honesty I kinda agree feel like that’s all quote on quote love has turned into for guys how can I get to the pug and for woman how can I get to his pockets. And even then when you do find someone it’s 50/50 if it’ll even go anywhere at all.

[foxsquirrell]

What kind of question is this?

[Godihateyou]

Nope

[boybb1202]

Don't love