Ok, I've read it, I was at a cabin and seriously it was in the bathroom, so I picked it up and started reading it. Supposedly the Author who wrote this almost 20 years ago! Apparently based on what "ral" men told her - well the men she talked to are total jerks and really not good guys - you would totally sus them out in a heart beat. I'd say there were some helpfull things like like yourself - there my big take away.
My thoughts, Men including me are people! We don't like drama queens or biaches etc. and talk to us! There, communication works best, which also means - listen!! ok..
How about this - the top review on amazon about this book...
Almost RUINED a long term relationship March 20, 2017 I have a love/hate relationship with this book...(maybe like 20% Love and 80% HATE). Fundamentally, this book would be for someone new to the dating world. I can understand and appreciate the advice of not giving away too much too soon, and to make sure he is interested just as much as you are and want the same things so you don't waste your time. Value yourself and don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate you.
That being said, the advice for people in long term relationship is garbage. I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and reading this book almost RUINED EVERYTHING. If you are in a long tern relationship and you are told by a book to 'pull away' emotionally and physically until he sees what he is missing... then you are not in a relationship with a man, you are in a relationship with a BOY. This book should be titled "Why BOYS loves bitches". That would make more sense. If you continually want to play this cat and mouse game with your boyfriend then go for it. But it will leave you exhausted and unfulfilled.
I tried following the 'advice' given in this book and we suffered because 'pulling away' and waiting for him to figure out what's wrong is absolute BS. I felt misunderstood, confused and angry that he couldn't read my mind. Then I realized "I'm an ADULT. This MAN that I am dating is an ADULT. We should be ADULTS and not play juvenile games."
Both men and women deal with conflict differently. To think that ALL men respond to their woman pulling away or disappearing for the weekend is completely unfair. Maybe some BOYS respond to that. Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same.
If I could suggest anything to women in relationships, it would be to read books that place a value on understanding your partner and their communication skills vs a book like this where you punish your partner for them not behaving the way you want them to.
Books like "The 5 Love Languages" and "Insecure in Love" are PHENOMENAL and I can honestly say my relationship is better and stronger after reading them. I now come from a place of respect and we communicate better and really understand where the other is coming from.
If you choose to read this book, fair enough, but this is NOT the Bible on how relationships should work. Read more 264 people found this helpful
I've read it. Some of it is true, but kind of in the same way as many "redpill" and "PUA" type books do, it comes from more of a negative or combative mindset when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex, and focuses a little too much on tactics.
At the end of the page in the first photo, where her hand is covering the sentence, it says "The bitch also perceives of herself differently. She'll get into the "boxing ring," so to speak, with the mindset that she's an "equal opponent" to a man." Boxing? Opponent? That's what I mean by combative mindset. The whole thing is about being a "bitch" to win him over.
The thing is assertiveness is a great thing, 100%. That's why some of the advice is good. But then this "bitch" stuff goes overboard in a similar way to guys who decide that they need to act like "assholes" to get women to like them.
My guess is that the men and women who read and like these kinds of books tend to be very soft, they get fucked over as a result, they read this and they go to another extreme - where they get better results with the opposite sex. But it's still overboard and unnecessary.
As for tactics, I mean like this way of thinking where the more of a hard time you give to the opposite sex, the more they'll like you. So much of this is exactly the same as the PUA and redpill stuff. Lots of unnecessary and kind of fake game-playing and struggling for power. Falsely thinking that this is what attracts someone when it just isn't. It's like the PUAs who think that acting like a "high value man" by using negs, cocky funny and all that stuff is what attracts a girl, not actually becoming a man of substance.
I take these books with a grain of salt. I have personally read Doc Love and Corey Wayne. They did give me some pointers that gave more success. But yes you can go overboard.
Yeah, you can learn certain things from them, but some people including the authors of these books I think miss the point. You don't need to be an asshole or a bitch, nor to have this combative mindset, to be assertive. That's really the positive thing being taught in these kinds of books.
I read it many years ago. I found it to be a rather interesting book tbh however I don’t necessarily agree with all of the advice in the book. Only some.
I don’t accept last minute date invites, I delete and ignore texts from guys during the late night hours asking me to “hang out”, I don’t center my life around men and I tend to call men out on their crap if they piss me off. The bad advice is playing guessing games. I don’t play games, I never did. I tell men right from the get go where they stand. Whether or not he sticks around after is fine with me either way.
I was the sweetest to my husband and he treated me like crap.. So I'm learning slowly on how to be a bitch.. i don't like it! I just wana be my sweet self but he doesn't deserve it, I wish that he'd just get out of my life and find himself a real bitch that will treat him like crap- maybe that's just what he needs! I'm tired of giving giving giving.. I'm already a slave to him and I won't slave my heart away for him as well 😡
I Didn't read this book but thanks for providing some texts from it.
If a bitch is defined to be a strong and independent woman, who makes her own money and won't let herself be screwed over or taken advantage of or be dictated by society, then yeah, i love these bitches - i just call them ladies instead ❤
However a bitch, who cheats on her boyfriend and abuses him is someone, who i will keep out of my life.
From the looks of it, this seems to be a much better book than the misandristic feminazi project "the power of the Pussy".
It advocates treating men like dirt, which I highly oppose because I have self respect. There are much better ways utilizing your womanity to attract a great man. And it's not by ignoring them, playing them, stomping on them and making them pay for everything.
Sometimes I just need to read at minimum half a chapter to a whole chapter to get an idea where this book is heading and what's it about to make a fair judgment.
Like most advice from women, it’s about women hearing what they want to hear. Truth and efficacy is not the focus, instead they make it about feeling good.
Look at that part about caring about others opinions. See now mean it sounds? You don’t have to listen to everything you’re told but that doesn’t mean you can’t value others opinions, and be nice. So often women seem to lean toward the most toxic versions of this advice. How about you just don’t be a bitch? And be chill and cool, it’s not so hard that you need some bitch to tell you her 1000 pages of strategy that go into her lack of success when she’s already playing on easy mode.
I don’t think it sounds mean. It sounds, truthful. We should take others opinions with a grain of salt wit that, evaluate their intentions. Some people just don’t deserve to be listened to when their opinion is with bad intentions.
See right there, you're doing it; talking about people "deserving" being listened too. Seriously, most of the time women seem to interpret these things in a way that puts others beneath them so they can lift themselves up.
"she's not obsessed with pleasing a man or anyone other than herself." If being obsessed with pleasing yourself a sensible thing? Doesn't sound awesome, but whatever. The thing is why is such language so common? Why is it that it's *so* objectionable to draw value from pleasing a man? That's annoying to me. It's so often a toxic confidence that comes from "well, it's their loss" or "if they don't like me then they aren't worth me". It's so negative all the time and that really is just being a bitch. It's always about what they "deserve" as if there's a meta physical scorecard keeping take -- only more shallow. It's a women's security blanket for ego; it's like a reflex to position herself above other. There are more humble ways to go about self-esteem. Just give it a try.
No one is obligated to listen to the opinions of others. In fact I think most people care way too much what others think. Your self esteem should come from within first. Please yourself first then you can please others.
I'm not saying you're obligated to accept other people's opinions, there's just always this attitude like they have to be cast down. Like, this idea that people care way too much what others think, I don't agree. I think most people believe the same thing and it makes them toxic -- it's still an obsession with what others think, just in the negative.
To say it in a less bitchy way I would phrase it as "it's okay to not have everyone like you", but that's the same old idea that every thinks. What I think people need to know now is that "it's okay to not have everyone like you, and even if they don't it doesn't mean you have to cast them aside or treat them as lesser. Futhermore, it's okay to have everyone like you, to value what others think of you and to draw meaning from that." The point of pulling away from what others think in the first place is to escape insecurity, in that space one's aim should be to resolve that self-esteem conflict then migrate back into the social fabric, learning about what it is to care and respect others and not hanging onto what is "deserved."
I understand what you’re saying and I’d like to agree, it’s just that many people would try to use and abuse my caring and hospitable nature. I have no problem caring and respecting others but I trust very few with that.
I'm saying that shifting the conversation to other people being abusive or whatever else is just a different topic altogether.
The point is that *before* even talking about what other people are actually doing, the attitude in question exudes superiority and arrogance; it's "I deserve to be treated this way" and "I don't care what anyone else thinks". It's about framing others as "of no real importance." It's still about ego.
Rather than resolving issues surrounding insecurity about what others think in a way that allows you to plug back into society in a humble and wholesome way, it's essentially trying to offset caring about what others think with arrogance, and that's not real healthy confidence.
I think a proper outlook feels as though it deserves nothing (because no one deserves anything) but simply *likes* things, and if someone doesn't like you or whatever other negative thing that doesn't mean they need to be framed negatively like "well then they just don't deserve to be listened to" or "then they're not worth my time." But we often hear responses like that, and I find it odd that so often it's women who take to this mentality, so often they response to negativity by trying to position the other person beneath them somehow; to tear them down. I think it's just better to do without the negative tone.
Based on the pics you posted, it’s like the same advice I read in no more mr nice guy. It’s not about being an asshole or a bitch. Those are just marketing tactics. Nobody will read a book called “how to develop proper boundaries.”
Men and women need to do the same things to find success in dating and love. At least I am starting to think that is the case.
I've never heard of this book so obviously haven't read it either, but I would imagine it's pretty much the same as why girls love guys who treat them like dirt & are real bastards? "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" seems to be the mindset, but it's not something I could (or would) ever do.
Sounds like its based and red-pilled haha Also sounds hilariously true.
Tbh, men respect bitches. They do :) The problem is men dont love bitches, they just want bitches to love them And they will do whatever it takes to win those bitches over.
I might pick it up. But my reading list is huge rn. I might ask my mom or her friends if they read it haha
Empowering. Anyway, maybe the use of 'bitch' in the title is just a form of marketing and the book is actually legitimate. I dont have money to buy it and read it.
Assholes activate some sort of primal switch in women’s psyche. They mistake his aggression/arrogance (which is often masked insecurity) as domination and strong male energy. I’ve seen plenty of “good girls” in HS and college chase these guys. Or at least they got a secret crush on them.
Even middle aged women like them. Just two weeks ago I saw a 34 yr old woman go full cougar and chase some little prick fuck boy around at a singles meetup. She’s got a good job and comes from a good background too.
Now I know not all women are like this. But usually it’s more than less.
I’ll confess I might have a very temporary attraction to a bitchy girl. More out of curiosity. But it gets old QUICK. Two weeks max I’ll have the crush, if that. But I’ve seen women stay attracted to assholes for months, even years.
If you take two guys with all else being equal (looks, height, money, smarts) and one is an asshole and the other is a nice guy the asshole will the win girl most of the time, hands down. I’ve seen happen way to often in my life for you to convince me otherwise.
Now I know that’s an oversimplification. Women don’t like being treated badly, but they are often cat like. They want CHALLENGE.
Guys like challenge too. But women are naturally a pain in the ass with this anyway. Going full bitch is not going to help them.
Also I don’t think women who don’t care what others think of them as “bitches”. But I have met women that go this full bitch route and it’s not about confidence. It’s about selfishness (which our society is embracing).
I have a long time gal pal who divorced her husband of 8 years suddenly act like this. She got breast implants, dressed scandalously and got loud and disrespectful. I’ve known her for 15 years and I have NEVER seen her act that way. Ever. But the absolute worst thing she said is that her “ex husband was a good man, but NOT an alpha”. I will never forget that. Ever
If he won the girl, what kind of girl is that going to be? A foolish idiot kind of girl. No one with self worth is chasing assholes who treat them badly.
I was raised in a traditional family. I was raised to be a good guy. And it has brought me pain, respect and disrespect from women 90 percent of the time.
It sucks when being “nice” makes you look weak. But from what I’ve seen the nice girl gets screwed over when she’s already into a relationship. The nice guy doesn’t even get a chance (usually friend zoned quickly) . There is a difference.
I have improved over the years. I don’t share my emotions with women like I used to. I don’t overpursue. If a girl blows off a text I just won’t text her back. Period.
Women who stand up for themselves who are ungodly and mean are called (bitches.) Women who are just as strong and stand for what is right and are Godly and wise are called ( ladies. .)
That is completely false. In fact all of my male friends know exactly what they like. And besides, how many cases of guys marrying bitches do you know? I have heard of none in my lifetime.
The title is all i need to know, and your questions is all i need to read. Open your eyes and look around you. Then answer my question and you will see that i am right. By the way, the definition of a bitch in that book is not only false, it's also very funny and nonsensical. You are a social animal so you WILL care what others think. If you go on your own in life you will be steamrolled down very soon. You are not a man. If you get treated like a man, you will buy a book like this to make yourself feel better about it. But it will fail. Because again, you are not a man. The social rules for you are diferent.
Well if you’re going to deliberately undermine the message of the book which you have not and refuse to read just to fixate on the word and it’s text book definition. then there really no point in continuing this absurd conversation.
Don't kid yourself, you're not taking anything. In fact, you are adding fuel to the flame. Nobody who's into real literature takes self help books seriously anyway.
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