Depressed boyfriend. What should I do?

[TheQueenOfHeartbreak]

My boyfriend suffers from severe depression. He refuses to get some help. I tried to be a good listener for a year and a half, even though he treated me poorly most of the time. I let him because I understood that those who are hurting hurt. Yesterday, I gave up. I have no strenght anymore to tolerate such behavior but I feel bad for me giving up on someone I love. What should I do? please help!

[CallyKat89]

He needs to improve himself. That is something you support him through, not walk him through. There is a big difference between the two. I believe your decision to move on is the right one. You are never responsible for someone else's emotional well being. Take care of yourself first. Do not feel bad for "giving up on someone [you] love", because this relationship was never a task that had to be completed. First and foremost, you should love yourself. If being in a relationship that is emotionally draining and borderline exhausting causes you anguish, find it within yourself to move on. You shouldn't be in a relationship where the peace is kept by your own constant personal sacrifices.

[MzAsh]

No you did the right thing. There’s a fine line between supporting and loving someone with depression and enabling them. You’ve been an enabler since he refuses to get help. Those with severe mental health problem who are untreated cannot have healthy relationships, no matter how hard YOU try. They have to also try. And if they don’t try, you have to walk away because it’s the only way you can be a healthy person yourself. You didn’t give up on him. You just stopped enabling him. Maybe he needs to suffer the consequences of losing you before realizing that HE needs to take responsibility for his problem. It’s not yours to solve. It’s completely HIS.

[Snakeyes7]

As someone who (presumably; I have trouble seeing a therapist for more than just this reason) struggles with depression for a very long time, he probably felt that way because he doesn’t know if it will help or it might be too late. I am in college and depression and college do not mix and college sure as hell doesn’t wait for you to get over it.

Depression can make you distracted more easily and make you unable to absorb what you are studying. I might be flunking out just because of that very reason.

Be glad you left. Despite my depression, I was able to treat my partners with as much respect as I could. I would feel like such a monster if I raised my voice.

[Jamie05rhs]

Don't feel bad. You tried your best. You actually went above and beyond. I'm sorry that he is refusing to get help. But he isn't your responsibility anymore. You shouldn't have to carry that burden on your shoulders for a lifetime. And you don't deserve to be subjected to the abuse, even if you think he doesn't mean it.

[13IsALuckyNumber]

2 things.
Thing 1. He needs to get some help. Men suffer from depression as well and there is no benefit to pretending they don’t.
Thing 2. Sometimes you have to leave people you love because they are doing you more harm than good. It is okay to help yourself once in a while.

[Marilynjuana]

You cannot help him and you shouldn't let him hurt you. He can help himself but he has chosen to wallow in it. Do not enable him any longer and let him figure himself out. You look out for yourself now.

If he wanted to change, he would get professional help and get it done.

[Pete671]

Take care of yourself as your number one priority, you have devoted 18 months of your life to helping him, but he is on a path of self destruction, he'll only drag you down into his pit of misery, walk away, sorry if that sounds callous, but if he's not responded to your care by now, he ain't likely to do so in future,,,

[ErectileHydra]

Some people are to far in the darkness. The darkness engulfed them and they lost their heart. The world is cruel and he is being cruel to you. He is a loss cause if he spits on your attempts of light

[joethemoe912]

You tried, but you're not a therapist period How this relationship goes from here on out lies on you. Do what feels best for the both of you.

[taleets]

You have to give up. It’s not your job to take care of him.

[HoratioCaine]

Get yourself therapy. Some can't be helped. I've been there quite a few times

[maadison]

It's not your place to help someone who doesn't want help.

[Gamillions]

he will eventually either commit suicide or wind up in the news in a bad way.

[Anonymous]

I have major depression and some homo thoughts and it’s very bad! No joke. One of this homo guy texted me because my cousin gave me his number and now I’m thinking he’s a girl. You’re boyfriend is done for.

[Buckzor]

Tell him how you feel

[Anonymous]

Leave him before you get depression too

[Anonymous]

do not answer anymore. she left