Sometimes when my boyfriend and I fright and he's yelling at me I lash out and hit him, what can I do to help control myself?

[Anonymous]

I don't want to hurt him anymore, I need help, I grew up in a kinda abusive household and have a strong history of selfharm and think that's part of my problem.

[Mattietate7]

It sounds like therapy is your only option. Or you two do not need to be together because it is too toxic. You don't treat someone you love like that. If you can't control yourself that is something you need to get figured out because like other posters have said eventually law enforcement will get involved. Also, you mention how your violent household effected you... how do you think it is effecting your significant other? You are creating the same trauma for them that was created for you...

[J3nny]

get therapy. my dad was a tad abusive in my younger years. the quickest way to better yourself is to get therapy or keep doing it for 10 years and then stop

[Trolloween]

Like others have said get therapy, you're lucky you aren't a guy because all you'd be getting right now is hate and you'd probably be in prison. You should avoid your boyfriend because if he defends himself from your attacks he will be arrested.

[Asker]

I am not a hypocrite, if I have the balls to swing on him he has the right to swing back on me, he's never layed a hand on me, but if he did it cause I hit him first that's on me. I'm taking responsibility, I know its my fault and that it's wrong. I need to learn to control myself

[Trolloween]

All I'm saying is, if things ever escalated and police were involved, like a neighbour heard the noise and called them... It doesn't matter what you say or what he says, if you tried stabbing him with a knife and he grabbed your wrists to stop you then he would be arrested. I am not exaggerating because I knew someone this happened to. If you care for him, stay away.

[KrakenAttackin]

Seriously? How naive can you be.

He swings back, he goes to prison -- full stop.

[livingthelife19]

This is bad. Violence is bad. You should really talk to a professional about this. It could escalate into something far more serious and eventually he is going to get torednof it and leave you or become violent back

[Dchrls78104]

If I were your boyfriend If dump you on the spot. That said, self-help real love and respect for the other person go far toward preventing such episodes. People with certain personal issues should get and benefit from professional help as necessary, before dating or venturing into romantic relationships.

[Dchrls78104]

Self-control *

[KrakenAttackin]

Agreed. She is a huge danger to him. She will likely end up having HIM arrested for domestic violence after she has attacked him and really hurt him (i. e. stabbing him).

He needs to GTF away from her ASAP.

[R4vedave]

Honestly, you need therapy. You need someone who can help you get your shit together. You're not gonna sort it out all on your own.

[worldscolide]

Therapy... Had an ex like you. Her behavior got worse and worse until when we broke up she sliced my face up...

[Blublub]

Go talk to a therapist. No one here can help you and I’m being serious this is a severe issue

[KrakenAttackin]

You can go to jail for domestic violence, that's how you can learn to control yourself.

[Samhanks]

Try counting 1 to 10 or more slowly before reacting, it works most of the time!

[KrakenAttackin]

This crazy chick isn't about counting.

[Samhanks]

@KrakenAttackin Yelling by either is not at all a good behavior ! Not good for a long term relationship also, Either one of you have to change !!

[Jmmmfi4]

Well you're clearly nuts so def get some anger management

[rockrewls]

Sounds like you both need to talk out the anger issues?

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Get professional help.