How can I stop yelling at my boyfriend so much?

[Anonymous]

I love my boyfriend, I really do. But he can be a huge a**hole sometimes.

i.e. stuff like, he goes to hang out with the guys by himself (which kinda bums me out because they've been my best friends since before he and I started dating) and said he'll come over afterward and if he's out too late he'll call me. He doesn't call me and when I start to worry, he won't pick up my calls, so I call one of the other guys and they say that he ended up going to another friends house to smoke weed instead. Or really obviously smack my ass in public (I took care of that one.)

My anger can get out of hand and I end up yelling at him more than necessary. I feel like a bad girlfriend sometimes, even though my anger is totally justified. Our friends have started to say that he's whipped behind his back. (even though I make sure to never yell at him in front of anyone)

is there another way I can get across to him how hurtful his actions are, and manage to stay level-headed?

[Apodyopsis]

Whenever you start to feel this urge to scream, just bite your tongue and count to ten. Or just leave and get some time alone to cool off. My sister does that when she's angry and she drives me NUTS so just learn to control yourself. That is no mature way to handle the problems in your relationship, and it'll only drive him away.

On the other hand though, your boyfriend needs to put in more effort and LISTEN to what you're telling him. You guys should sit down and have a talk.

[Asker]

we used to do a thing where I would go somewhere and breathe for ten minutes and then try talking to him, but it's been making me more angry lately. The longer I wait, the more angry I get. Are there any other techniques that you know of?

[Apodyopsis]

Ten minutes isn't enough. You'll just think it over more and over and it'll make you angrier. Take a few hours off maybe. Go out, take your mind off things. I find that the more time I take, the more distance I take from the whole situation and then I'll realize how ridiculous it is or what the right approach would be.

[GirlfriendPebbles]

That count to ten doesn't work I did that with my ex and he still kept running at the mouth. If he's not going to listen then walk away because it not worth upsetting yourself for someone who's being a child. If so take a break from one another for a day or two.

[GirlfriendPebbles]

If you can't get the message across that his actions are hurtful. You need to distance yourself from him because arguments can make s situation worse. I remember my boyfriend was a complete idiot and argument's broke out every day. I would have to cool down for a day or two at a friend house because he never got the message the moron. Just give yourself space in the midst of an argument and you know your gonna yell, especially if he's not listening.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a crazy bitch. He should slap you hard in the face when you yell at him, that'd teach you to stop being a bitch.

[Asker]

oh, and how am I a crazy bitch?

[Opinion Owner]

You try to control him and you yell at him, wake the f*** up crazy

[Asker]

I don't try to control him, I just get angry when he says he'll do something and he doesn't! I couldn't care less that he goes to our friends house to smoke pot, I do that all the time without him. Also, him embarrassing me with an inappropriate gesture in public is not something I should get angry about?

[Opinion Owner]

No you shouldn't and he should put you back to your place. And yes you try to control him. You said you call his friends to know about his whereabouts when he doesn't report to you, you're f***ing crazy, and you act like that because he doesn't keep you in line

[Asker]

His friend is my best friend and I called him about something else you ass.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure you did. Lmao. You're a bitch full of drama. Just looking at your f***ing self in a mirror