Shall I tell my best friend im kinda talking to someone she dated?

[Anonymous]

Me and my best friend are very close. We have been best friends for a while and we have never done each other wrong at all. My best friend has a boyfriend now who she is very serious with, talking about marriage etc. We both worked at the same place and met this guy, I spoken to him first at one point but we drifted then she spoken to him after me which I allowed anyways I didn’t mind. Them two spoken for about 2 months and she did like him, she ended him though since she found someone else. So anyways me and this boy kissed and I didn’t hesitate to tell her and she was a bit angry with me. She told me if she wasn’t single she’d be mad but since she is in a relationship she’s not as mad but she still was a bit angry. This was 2 months ago, ever since me and him have spoken everyday. It’s so bad I know it only hit me the other day when I ignored his text and he double texted me which kinda made me realise we do speak a lot. She is very happy in a relationship but I’m scared to tell her me and this boy she dated are kinda speaking. But everytime I’m with her I can’t use my phone incase he texts and it’s horrible hiding stuff from her, how can I tell her? I don’t wanna hurt her she’s my my best friend. She’s been in this position before where one of her friends dated her ex boyfriend execpt they were together for 4 years so it was a bigger deal and she forgived her and became very close. Shall I tell her? Me and this guy aren’t that serious yet though but I’m starting to realise that we talk a lottt

[whipitout]

Honestly, if the guy didn’t do anything seriously wrong when he was dating her then I don’t think it’s fair of her to expect you to back off even if you like him. I get the girl code and all, but we can’t just call dibs on every guy we date and then permanently mark them as out of bounds once we break up. I mean, if I saw something in a guy and then later broke up with him, surely I should understand what my friend might see in him? If she was still getting over him or had only recently broken up, I’d understand and I say you need to back off, but given her current relationship status, I don’t think it’s fair of her to expect you to choose.

I say bring it up with her as soon as possible. Tell her you know she’s might be angry or upset and that if she wants some space for a bit you understand, but you like the guy and want to give it a shot maybe, and you don’t want to have to hide that from your good friend.

Especially given the security of her current relationship, she should want you to have a chance at being happy with this guy. Unless of course something happened during her relationship with him that reflects badly on him.

[MissDawn7961]

it is wrong for you to kiss someone who you are not serious about ! you are not this girls best friend either ! for no best friend would kiss a man she does not know like you did ! maybe you should have a serious relationship with a man before you go around making out with one ! maybe you are an immoral woman who does not care about who she does anything with ! Thanks

[Shamalien]

No need to say anything if your just talking in my opinion. Once y'all are doing more than talking, like dating, or anything in that general area at all (like even meeting up and cuddling, w/e) you would do well to be honest with your friend so she doesn't get hurt finding out from someone else. Being honest in this area could potentially put stress on a friendship short term

but being dishonest in this area, you risk losing that friendship forever. I speak from experience. Choose wisely

[Asker]

Yes I thought this too. We have not met up yet or decided to meet yet. I will tell her though I know it will affect us short term though.

[metalhead_66]

It's a very good thing to tell her if you want to go further with your relationship. Because she's going to find out anyways eventually. So sit down with her and talk to her about it. She seems to love you so much, I am sure she'll understand

[Tia_Maria]

Maybe she doesn't want him back in her life, and would feel uncomfortable with him around when she sees you, especially if her partners with her at the same time

Have you asked her why she's against it?

[CL3V3RD3ViL]

The straight answer is yes tell your friend if they really are your friend they should be happy you were honest about it but no relationship can survive secrets and lies once the trust is gone u can't get it back

[kingkathyy]

Well she clearly didn’t have a problem talking to him even though you were talking to him first. On top of that, she’s in a relationship and you’re allowed to be happy. If she’s a good friend, she’ll be happy for you.

[Finchie40]

You got to ask yourself if you want
Your friendship to last or be with this guy? Because if I choose the guy you will probably lose your friendship with her , why it’s best to not date your friends exes , find your own man

[DiscomfortZone]

Yeah, you two are "so close" you need to consult an online cesspit about whether or not to share such a basic and important detail. Few things should be more intuitive. What a beautiful "friendship".

[Asker]

Ok...

[Ianto]

You should tell her for several reasons:
It is the right thing to do.
She will be very unhappy if it comes to light before you tell her.
She may know something about him that you should know.

[wyzb_ondmyears]

If she ended it with him it's fair game... especially if she's got a serious relationship going on now. She'll find out either way so might as well let her know. If she gets mad, she's not telling you something...

[boredgal]

Yes of course if you care enough about your friendship which is obvious, you do.

[OddBeMe]

I’d say it’d be a curteousy. It’s not necessarily warranted but your friend will have feeling about it. Depends if those feelings are still palpable if you remain friends.

[ThatGuy133]

Yea it’s in the friend code. She’ll be pissed if she finds out from him

[brittany23]

You should. What if it works out well and you all want to do something together? Think of the awkward spot you'd be putting your friend in

[pleasestopthis]

Yes tell her now before it's too late. You won't be able to hide forever anyways.

[tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ]

Yes, I think she should know you're just a friend not a best friend.

[Anonymous]

Stop being a side chick and have more selfrespect. And your froend should leave the male hoe and find a loyal boyfriend

[theAMAZINGthumbs]

Yes of course! You owe it to her. Anything less would appear shady.

[Anonymous]

No, because she's not the type of person that would be receptive of that.

[i_got_no_fears]

Tell her, end of the story

[genericname85]

yes you should do that.

[Anonymous]

We just gonna be like that, huh?

[blueguy07]

What would she get mad she had a boyfriend

[Laozi]

Yup.

[Countrywildmangirl]

Yes u should

[mustangwhiskey]

Yes.