Boyfriend following pretty/hot girls on social media?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend of 4 months and I have a very loving relationship, we like to share memes/funny videos and stuff. He convinced me to create a Tik Tok account to check out some vids and I have to say, some are quite funny. One day, I went to check who he follows to look for a particular TikToker he always shows me videos about and I wished I never had looked. Most of the creators he follows are teenage, white, skinny, blonde, blue eyed girls that dance and show off their body and stuff (he told me before he found the dancing stuff weird). I’m brown skinned, black haired and kinda curvy so I felt very self conscious that most of these girls were the total opposite of me. 2 of them their videos consisted of using provocative clothes, doing provocative faces and showing skin (and like they are extremely pretty!) It made me really upset honestly... we have been intimate with each other but I’m still a virgin so I don't know I just feel kinda self conscious about my body and if I’m not attractive enough, though he always says how much he loved my body and how pretty I am. Thing is, it has become a thing for me to check who he follows and every week he follows more girls like I previously described. Now, he is very loving, caring, and understanding, and overall an amazing boyfriend. I just don’t know if I’m overreacting and if it is common for guys to follow pretty girls when in a relationship? He also follows other people but like am I not good enough or why is this behaviour? I’ve been wanting to ask him but I don’t want to sound like a stalker/jealous girlfriend.

[jaybee281]

You could easily ask him by just adding "i know all of this might sound stupid but.." and say what you have to say just don't act angry or like you're a smartass that caught him act a bit vulnerable without saying outright that you are jealous or felt like it

[Asker]

I literally followed your advice and he said my behaviour was toxic and he could follow whoever he wanted. The way he said it was just wow. I thought he’d be more understanding and not that defensive. We’re both very sensitive and he knows that so his answer definitely took me by surprise. I’m just so sad rn

[jaybee281]

Fuck I'm so sorry to hear that and also I'm sorry if you felt like this was bad advice not gonna lie i didn't see this one coming like at all.. i know that you're sad if you wanna talk about it we could got notifications on for everything

[dthomas89]

FUCK TIK TOK

[Asker]

Lol I agree 100% but being in quarantine doesn’t help either. I still find the dancing cringy

[Asker]

Just deleted my acc and the app.

[Shadyslimeminem]

I had the same problem with my boyfriend. He was following some girls on insta and they didn’t even follow him back.(I am not talking about models ). I told him and I spoke with him. At first I didn’t want to told him but I was overthinking it and that made me sad so I told him. He unfollowed all of them even the models.

[Asker]

He told me he could follow whoever he wanted and called my behaviour toxic. The way he said it... I definitely didn’t see it coming from him. I’m so heartbroken rn

[ksmiller]

You should ask him. Only he can ease your worries. Just be careful how you ask so that he doesn't think you are accusing him of something.

[Asker]

Thanks! Could you please specify how should I ask him?

[ksmiller]

First explain to him why you were looking at who he follows. Tell him you noticed that he follows a lot of pretty girls that are different from you and ask if he wishes you were more like them.

[Asker]

I talked to him today and literally did so good explaining myself to him. He said he could follow whoever he wanted and that my behaviour was toxic. What hurt me is the way he said it. We are both very sensitive so it surprised me he’d be that ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think’ while replying. Plus, he is my first boyfriend and I felt that I’ve been so open minded and I’ve opened my heart to him at its fullest. I’m just so sad right now I cannot even explain it...

[JoyGirl]

Just talk about it with him. What you are telling us, tell him. In the end, it is only the both of you that can find a good solution. A solution that works in both your favours. 💜

[shouldeye]

that's assuming he will stop

[Sammy1985]

If you don't like this tell him to stop

[Asker]

I’ll try asking him next time I see him... but I don’t want him to feel like I’m accusing him/being controlling.

[Sammy1985]

I understand you don't want to come across as the jealous person but I belive if your with someone they should be the only one you look at

[Asker]

I just talked to him today, I was very calm and explained to him how I felt. He just said very defensively he could follow whoever he wanted and that my behaviour was quite toxic. That was a low blow. It’s my first relationship and I’ve been so open minded, understanding, and taking any suggestions to be the best version of myself for him and he calls me toxic? I’m heartbroken.

[Sammy1985]

You did all you can and handled the situation great but I would consider your future with him. I would never look or dream of other girls when I'm taken.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting. Stop being so jealous.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion. I’m very inexperienced with relationships so I wanted to know if it was ok to feel jealous or not.

[yona7889]

Overreacting!!! She should buried him alive

[Asker]

Hahaha why do say that?

[James_Frakln]

What makes him such an amazing boyfriend?

[Asker]

He’s always there for me when I’m feeling sad or stressed out. He knows when something is wrong and tries to comfort me. He texts me everyday and keeps the convo going, says how much me misses me. He has taken care of me when sick. He has put up with me being grumpy on the morning and brightening my day. He pushes me to do new stuff and when I’m with him I feel like I can be the most authentic version of myself. He noticed when I change something in my appearance (hair, makeup, clothes) and always compliments it. I honestly feel like he is one in a million lol.

[James_Frakln]

Well then I would say just talk to him about it, it seems like you two close. What about activities you do?

[Asker]

He just surprised me today when we talked about it. I was so calm while telling him and he literally told me my behaviour was toxic and he could follow whoever he wanted. The way he replied was just wow. Is this the same guy I’ve been dating? What the fuck...