Worried that boyfriend looks at pretty girls on social media?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 5 months is so nice to me. He is a perfect boyfriend besides the fact that he follows pretty girls on ig from his pre law frat. I know he says he doesn’t dm them or never really talked to them. He calls me the most beautiful but I know that he used to have a crush on one of the girls in his frat.
I can’t help but compare myself to her even tho I know that I am worth more to him than physical appearance and I end up stalking her accounts on social media. There was a time he liked a girl’s ig lost and he used to talk to her (but didn’t do anything with). I told him this bothers me and ever since then he stopped liking posts, yet still follows some girls he knows from his frat on ig. I met all his friends and hang out with him all the time, but I feel like my insecurities are taking over me and I never feel enough to him. Should I be worried?

[Finchie40]

Social media is one of the worst things for relationships period , making people assume the worst case scenarios , so you have a right to be concerned , cuz the truth is , if someone really likes you and values you as a partner in a committed relationship , they wouldn’t need to be checking out other people or flirting with other people , so there is a thin line here , You have to ask yourself are you following other guys and talking to other guys that your boyfriend isn’t to fond of? that might be his reason for him following other girls cuz he notices you following other guys , for a relationship to survive and for love to grow , you both have to be on the same page with things , you sometimes have to sacrifice for your partner the same way you want them to sacrifice for you , removing your inner selfishness is key to making a relationship and love to grow , So if he is following other girls’ your best bet is to sit down with your boyfriend in a calm way and tell him that you don’t like the fact that he is following these other girls’ and tell him you feel it’s disrespectful , but keep in mind you need to do the same , Setting boundaries in a relationship is a good thing as long as you both follow those boundaries , if not then your relationship will not last and sometimes we need to walk away from someone that isn’t giving the same in return , if someone truly loves you , they won’t hesitate to delete those opposite sex so called friends if they truly valued you it wouldn’t be an issue When I get in a serious relationship with a girl that gives me her heart like I am giving hers , I pretty much eliminate social media out of our relationship , mainly cuz I know it causes a shit ton of unwanted conflict in a relationship , so I have nothing to hide from her , she can use my phone anytime and I have no problem leaving my phone on the table and not carrying it with me at all times , When someone is very protective of their phone and keeps it with them at all times , that’s an indication that they might be up to no good , when that are very protective of their phone , Don’t just assume but watch their actions with their phone , if they can’t walk into another room without making sure they grab their phone constantly then that’s your answer they are hiding shit from you , I don’t care what anyone says , cuz the truth is the truth , people will try to sugarcoat it all they want but being addicted to a device is a clear sign your partner is pretty much up to something , so don’t fall for that shit , if someone prioritizes their phone over prioritizing you , be prepared for that relationship to come to an end cuz it’s simply disrespectful whether you are doing shit on there or or not , your cell phone should not be a huge priority if you are happy in your relationship with someone , it’s nothing to do with insecurities it’s called being respectful , you can’t respect someone if they aren’t being respectful to you, you can’t remove selfishness for someone if they aren’t doing it for you , you both need to be each other’s top priority if you want love to grow bottom line

[ohsheeT]

No matter if it's him or some other guy. Or any guy your dating. They are going to look at different women..

Depending on the guy they are looking for all different reasons

By the way girls do the same.
And also for different reasons

In any relationship you get in to
One of the very first things you talk to yourself about is do I trust him or her.

* WHAT HAPPENS IF*

So what I'm trying to say is in that moment you both say you love each other
And all the reasons why
Think about this
At any Givin moment your partner can do anything they want and get away with it fir awhile and *for awhile* meaning will always be caught in the long run.

You can't make someone love you
They either do or don't.. You either do or don't.

If you can not trust the person then you should not be with them. it's a waste of time.

Because your to busy worrying about things that might not even be going on or your stocking someone's page.

That's not a true relationship look at all the time wasted because your head and heart is some place else and eventually in time that's the kind of thinking will just destroy a relationship

So I look at it this was I can not control my partner I will never know what they are doing I can only control myself I trust myself therefore I have to trust them until the moment they give you the reason not to trust


Clear your mind clear your heart get into the relationship the way you want to be in it love as deep as you want to beloved that's all you can do live in the Here and Now not the future not the past the Here and Now don't worry about something that has not happened yet until it happens you're wasting time you're changing the outcome of your relationship by worrying

[Anonymous]

No, don’t be worried.
I follow pretty guys on IG and my boyfriend follows pretty girls. I don't know, it’s just IG. It’s not real life. If he was flirting with girls in person id have an issue with that. But he isn’t.
Plus you said he stopped liking their posts. That’s a huge effort in itself, and going back and unfollowing these girls probably is tedious, and he hasn’t even thought of that as being an issue, which I personally agree with.
I wouldn’t worry. Sounds like you have a great guy.

[midnightmoon05]

He is perfect.
then continue sharing that it bothers you and makes you feel insecure. Any reason why he has to do this?
He should avoid doing things that would hurt your feelings.
I had to do the same when I met my husband. He was very immature and was lonely for a long time…. so he got sucked in by social medial…

now that we have worked through that…he is much happier to only focusing on me.

it’s a good sign that you two are working on handling differences.

good luck girly.

[jennifer_bloom]

One idea that I have is that even if a girl on social media is attractive, he is not spending time with them, holding her hand, laughing and joking and hugging her, sharing his private and personal thoughts and dreams with her, so unless he is the cheating type, the chances of things going south are not necessarily part of the picture. Now if he is the cheating type, you are young and can replace him so don't be afraid to explore other options.

[Pinay_ako]

He should worry about you. He’s with you because he wants to be with you not those girls on ig. If you say he’s perfect in every way then ask yourself if you trust him. If you don’t, then he’s not so perfect after all.

[nawtee_me]

@Pinay_ako unless she has trust issues. Relationships are built on trust. Just because he follows girls he went to law school with doesn't mean he has given her reason not to trust him. She just might not be able to trust anyone...

[Avicenna]

As long as he doesn't see them in person

[Rab1901]

With just that information, it isn't really possible to tell if you should be worried. Being so nice to you doesn't really mean anything unless he's really nice to everyone else too. You might think that you're special to him, but it shows a lot about a guy's character if he isn't treating others well. If he is, then I like that a lot, but the one thing that makes me question him is because he chose a girl who's insecure. I'm not saying you're not worthy of being loved, but it's uncommon for a perfect guy to choose someone with a crippling insecurity. Also frat boys don't have the best reputation. That being said, he could really genuinely love everything else about you. Mayb you treat him better than anyone else, and you don't make his life stressful.

I encourage you to read self-help books and watch self-help videos for your confidence. They can be very beneficial. Your insecurities may not go away in a day, maybe not even in a year, but it's important to take steps to improve.

[Anonymous]

It's natural to feel insecure or worried when your partner follows attractive people on social media, especially if you've had previous conversations with him about it. However, it's important to remember that following pretty girls on Instagram doesn't necessarily mean that your boyfriend is not committed to you or that he doesn't find you attractive.

It sounds like your boyfriend is doing his best to reassure you by calling you beautiful and stopping the behavior that bothered you. It's also positive that you've met his friends and spend time with him regularly. These are all good signs that he cares about you and is committed to your relationship.

However, if your insecurities are still taking over and making you feel like you're not enough for him, it might be worth discussing your feelings with him again. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts to make you feel secure, but that you're still struggling with comparisons to other girls. It's possible that he can offer you more reassurance or make changes to his behavior to help ease your concerns.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether or not you feel comfortable in the relationship. If you find that your insecurities are too overwhelming and affecting your happiness, it might be worth seeking support from a therapist or counselor to work through them.

[lightbulb27]

people can have addictions and it's easy these days.

Bottom line, he has no business doing that anymore and needs to drop all that distraction and junk, which is what those other girls are, and focus on you.

If he can't, you need to punt him or you'll have to deal with it and that may be torture.

His priorities... #1 is to make you top priority and honor your relationship.

Only challenge is he's made you feel secure in many ways, but is making you feel insecure with the follows. Maybe if you communicate better it helps, but I think there's likely no way around how you feel and his behavior creating problems. He probably is a normal dunce/selfish guy that doesn't understand the risks other women pose to destroying your relationship, so education by other males be helpful.

[TheorionMage]

Is he impassioned by WHO you are? Or just the 'convenience' of 'WHAT' you are, and can provide?
Self-pleasuring to fantasied imagery incurs no concern for the 'object'-ifaction of one's arousal; ... HER satisfaction or emotional feelings.
Ooggling is emotionally 'safe' and economical is many ways, and provides a socially-accepted form of 'infidelity'. Selfishly, ALL about fantasized gratification.

[OfMiceandMen]

You can never be absolutely certain your boyfriend is going to step out on you. However, you can't live your life worrying about what the other person is going to do. If you are faithful/honest to him, and you can hold your head high afterwards, that is all that matters. That is how you become more secure about yourself.

Besides, based on your photo, he would be a fool to think there is someone prettier. Provided, you are smart and fun to be with, he's not going to have much luck, and likely kick himself someday if he ever strays.

Good luck, and hopefully he is smart enough to see what he is doing to you, is not cool.

[Gingerbread_GB]

No. If you told him it bothers you and he stopped liking them, that means he's paying attention to your feelings.

You shouldn't expect a guy to immediate cutoff all his female contacts just because he's in a relationship with you. Even if he's liking other girl's posts and talking to them, doesn't mean he's sexually attracted to them, much less thinking about dumping you.

I think you should instead focus on yourself, make yourself better, make yourself more attractive. That'll boost your confidence.

[Gentleman900]

Most girls go through this. You are insecure and you don't trust him. Im married and these things are unacceptable in my book. It is unacceptable that he liked a girl's photos I would say that. Might sound funny but, what does he like in the photo? a difference would be if she posted a picture of her graduating or getting a new car or with a child or something. Yet again to me, it's still kinda unacceptable. However, if it's her posing provocatively then you should be worried and I won't blame you. It's good that you told him it bothers you and he since then stop, but I would suggest still keeping an eye on him if you feel uneasy about it. Comparison is the greatest self-destruction. There are going to be girls that will be prettier than you, funnier than you, etc. However, it's your boyfriend's job to have self-control. If he loves you for you those other girls wouldn't even compete with you. Hope this helps!

[loveslongnails]

Your insecurities have been ruling you for a very long time. For years you posted pics asking for comments/reinforcement on your beauty, your hair, your clothing, etc. You've been worried that the next girl is hotter than you since you've been posting. You don't seem to understand that there are a million women hotter than you are, and at the same time, it doesn't matter at all because to someone, you'll be the hottest. Now you're worried that your boyfriend enjoys looking at other beautiful women that he isn't even approaching and has no romantic interest in, even though treats you like a queen.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this particular incident is merely another manifestation of your overall insecurity that has permeated your outlook. Time to fix it while you're young, don't you think?

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Take a look at his actions. In a world full of temptations, it takes a real matured man to practice discipline and loyalty. So once your boyfriend takes action with another girl, then he isn't a good man. Time to cut off. Also, don't assume he's perfect until you've been together for about a decade. 😊

[MsTaniaUncensored]

You can spend a lot of time comparing yourself to women from his social media that he knew or you can remember that he is with you. One way to cause a man to lose interest is controlling behavior and showing you don't trust him. Social media is a thing now and there will be women on there.

[razelove]

Did y'all meet on IG? Anyway, I'd only worry about cheating it if he picked you up, or other women from ig. If it's affecting your relationship, just talk about it. If there's no give there, like hey, I'll give up my sexy pictures on ig (if there are any) if you stop drooling over women on there. Then maybe you're at an impasse, because that sounds totally fair.

[Monalisa77]

Do girls never look at pretty boys while in a r/ship? Never say someone they watch on tv is good looking? How is this any different? Im. Nothing like other girls but if i did have a boyfriend i wouldn't have a go at then for looking at other girls when im likely gonna do the same with boys. I think thats rather healthy

[Miristheiss]

Well you have posted like 1000 pictures of yourself here.
Thousands of men get to look at you.
You are part of the problem.
You can post skimpy pictures for millions of non boyfriend guys to see but he can only look at you.
You are tainted. Give it up.

[Sevenpointfive]

yes. i'd be worried. he doesn't respect you enough to stop what he's doing. he's doing this behavior because he wants to feel desired. i don't know why you aren't enough for him, but it happens too often. maybe abstain from sex for awhile or play hard to get. he misses the chase and it's childish, but this is what you have to do.

[midnightmoon05]

Hahahaa it’s a cat and mouse game.

[Sevenpointfive]

@midnightmoon05 it is. but know you are enough. he is just a stupid boy

[Askincuzimnosey]

Girl... if you gotta worry about all that, then you may want to back off and watch what he does.

A man will be where he wants to be. You can't force em.

What you can do is work on you. Not just your looks, weight or whatever bothers you about yourself. Work on how you love YOU.

If he feels the need to flirt or whatever then HE has an insecurity. Don't make it your problem.

[motownplayer2000]

You should. You should be super worried your insecurities will drive him far far away. If you don’t trust his word, something is wrong in the relationship! You shouldn’t have to keep going back to ig to stalk anyone. If he’s cheating, we’ll, shit, move on, but if you believe he is the perfect boyfriend, stop trying to find something wrong to nitpick at.

[Hanrej]

No, I don't think you should worry. Instead focus on the good things in your relationship for as long as it lasts and make sure to never overinvest yourself. You only lose if you spend more on the relationship than you got out of it. If it ends, it ends and everything you do to change that outcome will be frowned upon as controlling behaviour.