Is it selfish/bad for one to practice self preservation during a relationship?

[Ellie-V]

As in not making theme totally vulnerable in case of heartbreak?

Inspired by a poem I read, I really loved this particular phrase...

It made me feel sad for the speaker

Updates

+1 y

Themselves* not theme 😂

[Jjpayne]

So, there is a place of fairness and a place of protection. It's good to want and desire to treat the other person with dignity and respect. Even if they cheated on you. If you treat them with respect, it will leave a mark on them years later. If you get back at them or lash out, it only makes them feel better they broke up with you. Treat them with respect and say to them, "I'm very sad for you, because one of these days you will think back on how good you had it with me, and for that future day that comes, I do pity you." Leave them with something like that. It's respectful but it's a mature way of letting them know the weight of what they have done if it's cheating. But as a general rule, as much respect for both people but you channeling your self preservation a different way. I'd say do a journal and say in the journal the things that you are. Resite that journal entry to yourself everyday. "I am strong, I am independent, I am beautiful" something like that. Find your center that way. So when that day comes, you got yourself. Something like that is a great way, like daily self positive meditation.

[Ellie-V]

This wasn’t about me personally

[Jjpayne]

Well I guess it's my writing style... But just adjust it to more general terms :)

[Grond21]

Self-preservation is not selfish in a relationship. Because if you sacrifice yourself while the other person is cutting you, then it's not a true relationship. Not one of equals, but one where one side is using for abusing the other. To have a good relationship it is essential to have good self-care in addition to loving the other. And those are not opposed to each other

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I'd not say it's selfish, I have to safeguard my being.

[firefly02]

Self preservation is a very complex term. The beauty of a true relationship is that it doesn't expect anything from you but you are ready to stake everything because you find it's worth! Sacrifices only feel like sacrifices in a bad relationship.
Losing yourself for something which isn't equal to your self is stupid.
Do only if it's worth it!
And there are very few things worth our sacrifice! So better don't lose ourselves.

[Stoner710]

Not necessarily self-preservation is good A lot of instances example for me I hate being controlled which is why I can never keep a relationship

[Kezzz]

It's not selfish if you're doing it to protect yourself from depressing sadness. It helps get over a heartbreak that's for sure

[winterfox10]

Why would that be selfish? That's just keeping yourself sane

[Slim57]

No why would anyone let themselves go through another heartbreak

[cheapshotbob]

not really it saves a lot of head aches

[Iamanintrovert]

it's totally up to the couple

[BronzedAdonis]

No..