My boyfriend asked me to kill him, should I get him committed?

[Anonymous]

I'll preface this by saying that he's depressed, he has always been and I always knew.
Another thing is that he knows I stabbed my ex. I'm not proud of it, nobody deserves that and I paid the consequences of my crime.

Today my current boyfriend had a depressive episode and started talking again about death. He then asked me to do him what I did to my ex. I was horrified and I told him like many times that I'm never doing that to a human being ever again, especially someone I love like him.
He then just murmured 'but killing people is what you do best'.
I walked out on him. I've never killed anyone, the ex survived.

This whole thing gave me a panic attack, now I'm better but I'm very worried. Should I get him committed or a forced treatment?
He hasn't expressed any outright intention but him insistently asking me that like he thought he could provoke me into it scared me.

Updates

+1 y

He still doesn't talk, just goes on making his collages and painting. He didn't even come to bed with me.

Updates

+1 y

He still won't say anything and barely eats, I'm getting really worried now

[reptocarl2]

It isn’t that easy. All you can do is tell the police what he requested. They’ll do a field evaluation and all he has to say is that he isn’t a danger to himself or someone else and there’s nothing they can do. This isn’t the horrors of the 30’s anymore. It’s very hard to get someone “committed” or even evaluated

[reptocarl2]

The best you can do is tell him to see a psychiatrist or you’re leaving. But you have to follow through

[reptocarl2]

All you’re doing is enabling him

[Anonymous]

He probably needs mental help as he is in primary stages of suicide...

And it is not helping your mental recovery after stabbing incident...

Maybe he is not for you?

[TacocaT6969]

Having him forcefully committed will only cause further psychological damage.

Best you can do is talk to him about it.

Get to the root of what’s causing him to feel the need to be killed.

Marijuana is optional, but very useful in these situations.

[Asker]

That seems good, thank you.
He's a teetotaler so I don't think he'll ever smoke (I smoke in a separate room because he hates smoke) but everything else is perfectly feasible.
I told him I understand he's in pain and suffering and this makes him lash out.
But I also calmly told him that those words both made me sickly worried about him and cut me like a knife.

[Jamie298]

I am sorry, but is he not taking his meds? has he been diagnosed yet? if not then you should.

[Shamalien]

sounds to me like he didn't really want u to kill him, more just taking a jab at you for being the type of girlfriend that stabs her boyfriend. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with u but for some reason he's stickin around so do urselves a favor and break it off

[Asker]

That's bullshit.

[Shamalien]

"He then just murmured 'but killing people is what you do best'."

wake up and smell reality

[Asker]

Please go away if that's all you have to say.

[BlessedDaddy]

No, tell. Someone and let them 5150 him. You need to go

[YHL6965]

Anything forced will only make things worse, trust me. Just talk through it with him, convince him to get professional help.

[genericname85]

wait what? what happened with your ex?

[Asker]

We had a fight and I hit him with a cleaver. He's recovered now.

[genericname85]

well i am sure you already know that this is very fucked up and i'm not sure how you're dealing with that but that upsets me quite a bit so i had to make this comment.

but regardless of that, i think what your boyfriend did there was pretty sinister... and i personally would not stay with a person like that, no matter what their issue is. like yeah they have depression. that's a big deal and it sucks for them. but i don't think that gives them a free pass to backstab you emotionally like this...

you know you have your own live. how are you gonna keep living with a person that drags you down in their depression like that?

i know this sounds super bad... but people are definitely able to pull you down with them. and you gotta let go before they drown you. i realize how bad this sounds but it really sounds to me like that's the severety of issue you're facing with him.

[Asker]

I'm dealing with that by doing my best to be a better person and not raise an hand against any living being ever again.

I'm feeling horrible. He's never been that bad, he helped me out with a lot of shit. He gave me motivation to go on. He draws and paints beautiful paintings and he gave me many, every time I feel bad I think or look at them and feel so better.
But lately he's getting worse, maybe it's because of isolation for the Corona.
I tried to lift him up with his own words, he just sobbed.
Now he's here with me but has not said a word since our discussions.

[genericname85]

that sounds like you're really working on it. that's great.

yeah i think he feels horrible that he said that to you and he doesn't know how to come back from that... because i do think what he said to you was super bad. i don't know if i would allow anybody to talk to me like that, no matter how much they did for me. that is not ok.

[genericname85]

i mean i understand that there's a dynamic, where you have a giving and taking situation... but you gotta draw the line somewhere...

[Asker]

I think he's definitely sorry, he made dinner and served me coffee and chocolates from his stash so I'm sure he wants to apologize.
I'm used to his silences, he doesn't talk for days sometimes. But this time he really seems sunk down.

[genericname85]

well tell him that you still feel hurt from what he said and that you want to know if he means it... why should you carry that burden when all it takes is for him to say "i'm sorry"... and if he's not sorry, get that sucker out of your life. seriously.

[genericname85]

i'm not calling him a sucker, cause i think he's a bad person. i'm calling him that to make abundandly clear, that you can not take the kind of hurt he's inflicting on you and that you should probably look for someone who hurts you like this.

you hurt your ex very badly and that was horrible. that doesn't mean that it's ok for people to horribly hurt you now...

[genericname85]

*who doesn't hurt you like this

[Asker]

I told him I understand he's in pain and suffering and this makes him lash out.
But I also calmly told him that those words both made me sickly worried about him and cut me like a knife.
He understands I think, he's ashamed.
I want to help him like he helped me, but if this happens again I can't help him alone.

[genericname85]

yes i defintely think you are right in that you can not help that guy alone. i believe the dymanic that you have is a downwards spiral, where you're pulling each other down more overall than you can overall pull each other up. and if you think you "at least" need some help before giving up, i think you are definitely on the right track there.

i think you were both better off with a different partner but i of course understand that there's value in the relationship that you don't wanna lose and i'm in no place of telling you that this value is not worth keeping the realtionship... getting some help is something i would higly advise.

[Liam_Hayden]

You should report it and the psych will decide whether or not to commit.

[Juxtapose]

Get his ass committed ASAP. He's in danger.

[0112358]

Yeah I’d say so.

[Numbnuts89]

probs.

[jimmy2]

Sounds like it 911

[Anonymous]

Interesting