What do you think of your S/O being best friend with their exes?

[Anonymous]

Hello, hi.

My boyfriend is best friends with his ex who he had broken up years ago and has continued being friends with. He has moved on with his life but not her. How do I know this? It's because she hates me. No wait, hate is an understatement of the century. She DESPISES me. Hates me and him for being together. Hated me before she even met me. And she is his best friend. Now you see, I've been with this amazing guy for 3 years now and I know no one is perfect. I just don't know how to let this go after everything she put me in. Torturing me mentally with this thoughts for years. I've become this paranoid freak every time I know that they are hanging out together. (They are foreigners in the same country, same city) And I, am so so far from both of them.

He knows what she did to me. And she also needs to heal by assuming that I don't exists and she continues her friendship with him like how they used to back in college. Basically, in a denial. So she stopped bothering me and somewhat moved on, while I am miserable with no peace at all, I become bitter. They hang out all the time, going road trip together (either just both of them or with group of friends). My mind sabotages me with her words that she once planted in my head. I am a mess. I controlled him from going out with her or their group of friends. Basically whenever I know she's there, I will act out and he and I would fight all the freaking time. (Toxic me yes feel free to judge guys I know what I am)

We talked about this so many times, but he ended up getting angry because he says that his friends (including her) think that he spends too much time on his phone with me. I tried breaking up with him so many times too out of guilt for being this way, but he didn't want to let me go. He just wants me to change this toxic behaviour and accept their friendship. I know he loves me and he also cares about his best friend like a family. I just don't know how to accept her when she never accepted me.

[Kaneki05]

yeah that sounds pure toxic and annoying and i would tell him to get rid of her or your gone. I generally i don't mind if ex say's friends or whatever longs if it ain't toxic like this.

My bestfriend is my ex we've been friends a whole year. she dates someone else, and were just bestfriends with nothing toxic like this heck she would probably convince me to my feelings about someone rather than hold them back. So not normally bothered. But this is yeah no if they picked them over me i would be done if they were this toxic

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't like that. Exes have no place in the present

[MissDawn7961]

it sounds like you need to give this SO an ultimatum like - it is either your ex who you are best friends with or me - ! then ask him - why are you best friends with your ex any way ! if your best friend and ex is so great then why are they your ex and best friend too - ? I think you would be better off getting rid of your SO and getting yourself a respectable boyfriend and dump this jerk ! thanks

[PinkkFallls]

You could either completely leave that situation by breaking up with him, or tell him things need to change if you’re going to continue with him. Let him know that it isn’t ok for him to allow his ex to torture you and that you don’t deserve it because girl you don’t. I personally think you two need to have a serious conversation before proceeding with the relationship.

[reptocarl2]

I wouldn’t put up with it