Men, have you had an abusive relationship with a woman?

Question

it’s very sad that men are silenced and they can’t express the hurt and trauma they experience with the women they are with.

it doesn’t make you less of a man to be the victim. au contraire, it actually makes her less of a woman for putting you in that position.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think my girlfriend has been abusive towards me, yes. She calls me names when she gets angry, which is pretty often, by the way, and when we were spending a month together (it's a LDR), she used to get drunk and start yelling at me at night, and call me names whenever she got mad at me. Sometimes I would pretend I was asleep to see if she'd stop, and she kept murmuring bad stuff and would never go to bed herself. She also blames me when we're arguing for the whole day and I tell her that I will just stop checking the phone and won't contact her until the next day, because I can't deal with the stress (which is true). I don't know what to do, honestly

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes. My ex used to throw plates and knives at me and threatened to call the police and hurt herself to accuse me of domestic violence. She also threatened me with accusing me of rape. She called me horrible names and to this day I have a hard time getting into another relationship. She acted very sweet at first.

razelove · Answer

It is very difficult to be taken seriously when women are abusive. Some will out right laugh, especially when comparing a 6 ft tall guy with a smaller woman. The problem being if you do physically stop such things from happening the true insanity begins.

The first woman I was with was 5 years older than me, and for lack of a better phrase took me when she wanted me. It took her getting plastered at my house and the fear from my parents that she might say I was trying to take advantage of her for them to finally listen to me and not let her into the house or my room, that I didn't want her there.

My ex-wife tried to keep me with her by threatening suicide over and over along with physical abuse, cheating, and belittling me, eventually I told her to just do it, just kill herself, she hit me and I threw her through a wall. I left, she jumped on my car while it was moving, I kept going, got it fixed, went back, she left me when she got out of the psych ward, I wasn't manageable.

Most recent was a woman I worked with sexually harassing me, I had video as well, my boss didn't want to do anything, so I brought it to his boss, filed a grievance, and it went nowhere because she said I had flirted with her. Technically she was "advised not to grab other employees" in reality since she was my supervisor I was frozen in my position, so I quit, but they wouldn't let me quit, nor will they fire me as the grievance is valid, so, I'm still on the payroll of a job that doesn't want me because I dared complain about being groped and not wanting it. Or I guess worse, putting it in writing and video when I realized no one would believe me.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't make me bitter to women, just those people, the ones who disregard what other people want and don't want, as well as the ones who shield them from consequences. At the end of the day, even if all men who were abused by women came out, men abused by men, and women abused by men would be a mountain compared to that hill.

They should all be lumped together. If power is the desire, let them have power over each other.

bluehen46 · Answer

I never thought of it but have been told i am. NOt sure. I have fallen into the trap ( and not aware of making excuses for her). I have been married 17 years. Sex was great when dating. Not to be messed up but she was a willing three hole wonder. we slowed down when engaged as we did not plan on living together, but she got laid off like two months later and the wedding was in 7 months so we figured i would move in to help financially as i had lived at home and thus did not have many bills but gave my parents money ( no i was not a loser. I had a good banking job but was a mama's boy) we were married over a year before we had sex. not to disgust anyone as not all girls are into it, but now she actually claims i raped her anally when i asked about that. Now it was my idea, but she let me a few times and then it was "My treat" during that time of the month. It was like a bait and switch. Now i am far from perfect but in a 17 year marriage she has worked 3 and then got injured and is contributing now from those policies you can buy that pay you. Financial is nto as much an issue but just about all savings i brought in are gone because of her lack of ambition and i forgave her but will always be a bit angry as i worked my ass off to save up and came from a very poor family ( now i ate every day and such) where i was the first to go to college and even finish high school out of 5 kids. I have thought of leaving but do love her and my self esteem makes me worried if anyone else will want me and she even said since i have some depression issues "no one else will want you" She has gotten mad and punched me full force but never in my chest and bit me. I can't believe i am sharing this. I have thought at one point a couple years ago about ending my life as i dont believe in divorce unless it has to be and like she says. Who else would put up with a 44 year old with depression issues that used to be a banker but is now partially disabled? if anyone is a christian or religious please say a prayer for me. I really need it. This is much more too this

SjE78 · Answer

my ex wife was mentally and emotionally abusive, but used the fact that she was a woman, to cry wolf claiming i was abusive despite her trying to destroy me...
even after i moved away she pursued me and tried to continue that abuse... i even had her friends blaming me for things i and everyone knows I would never do... nor even did...
and yet while she was telling others how i apparently was and how bad i was supposed to be, she was telling me that she dug herself into a hole by lying, but knew that people would hate her for it, and therefore chose to let me take the fire from everyone around me cos of how much i have endured over the years, she knew i could take it...

worth pointing out that (before we split) while she was plotting and creating all the trouble she asked me if we could try for another baby... i refused cos of her head wasn't in the best of places, my physical health wasn't great, finances weren't doing good and also the child we had had together had quite a few behavioural issues of which before anything all those things needed to be addressed and sorted, prior to considering another child... not to mention that but the fact she almost died from her first birth... and so cos of this yet more stories of abuse came about and apparently i'm all the sick bastards under the sun which took me from 2013 till 2016 to clear my name and even then i still come across people who will consider me evil cos of what she lied about...

crazy thing is every ex before and since have even stood up and called her out on the lies, my older 2 kids who were living with us from a previous relationship, and even the youngest of mine who was hers and mine, even said "when?"
and my oldest two have even seen myself put my self between them, their mother and any danger... cos that is how i'm wired up i suppose...

i dont believe in bullies and i cannot stand abusers, due to history with my parents being such...

Itsok2behapp-e · Answer

Yes but not what you'd consider a 'relationship' as such.

It happened in my teens when at times I'd have to do whatever it takes to find a lock and fit it to my bedroom door... If I didn't lock it, they'd be screaming and banging on the door.

Obviously being younger than them I'd sometimes undo the bolt/lock and open the door and my own sister and mother would beat me up and scratch me till my arms bled.

My sister would relish in sitting on me when I was very young and I'd have to use all my strength to push her off as I was stuggling to breathe everytime. It was only as I got older and stronger I was able to fight back and stop her doing it.

My own mother would tell me not to take part in physical education as she knew the teachers would see the scabs on my arms from where the blood had been from her viscious attacks. In my head I said the equivalent of "Fuck it, I'm going to enjoy PE because I do and I'm not going to stop because you'll get found out"

I've never experienced physical abuse in my actual relationships with women.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

I said yes, because emotional abuse can be equally or more devastating than physical.

I was severely emotionally abused at 23, and was too embarrassed to ever say anything to friends or family because I felt responsible- The more she abused me, the more clingy I got. I still don't quite understand the "why". I couldn't cope with the thought of losing her, it's a bizarre psychological paradox that I also see in female victims of physical abuse.. you know, they just won't leave the guy when given many opportunities to and everyone begging them to. Well, I lived it, but still can't explain why I clung to her while at the same time knowing what she was doing to me. My close friends saw it too and tried to talk me into leaving her, but I just couldn't.

I had stopped talking to friends and family partially out of embarrassment, but mostly because she didn't approve of me having anyone to lean on except her. It was only 4 months, but she did a lifetime of damage. To this day, I still can't bring myself to 100% trust a female romantically. I have never since revealed my most vulnerable feelings except anonymously.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I’ll just say it was the most tumultuous experience in my life. That her punching and whatnot and even being stabbed by a fork while dining out once wasn’t even the worse of it all. The constant insulting, berating, trivializing, sanctimonious holier than thou indignation, and the feeling of walking on constant eggshells was taxing at every level... from mind, body, and spirit. It is a demoralization I dreamed to imagine being involved with. Had she not spent me into oblivion which effectively caused her to end things when I ran out of money for her to spend was a bittersweet moment. I never knew how freeing being completely broke could be till that moment. Granted, I do not ever wish to repeat either... her or poverty.

This isn’t something I ever really talk much about. Even here I am only touching the surface. Very few friends know. A couple ex girlfriends I shared a little with them, but girlfriends don’t really wish to hear about exes so even that has been very peripheral. I do not think I have ever really delved into it with anyone as I think about it. I don’t hate women or hold women responsible for that woman’s behavior. She was hell and I just know all women are not hell. That’s all I really have to say about that.

FatherJack · Answer

Yes , but dumped the guilty parties , first was an ( unstable as I found out !! ) ex girlfriend , that slashed me with a knife for no reason , no provocation , just a sudden attack... despite the blood , I shoved her straight out of my house with her stuff and told NEVER to contact or go near me again... door swiftly locked !! Second was my last marriage , constant complaints , criticism... yet she did F -all and never got off her lazy fat backside... it was much harder to dump her quickly , being married and with 2 children in the equation. Now a single dad and staying single by own choice.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Every relationship I've been has been a friendship that's grown into romance. I suspect that changes things, but I'm not sure. One of them had some psychological problems, and things between us were tempestuous at best. During a particularly harsh argument, she tried to slap me. I caught her wrist and, holding it immobile, told her "No. No violence." She stared at me balefully, then tried to slap me with her other hand. Needless to say, the relationship died on the spot

ArrowheadSW · Answer

When I was in my late 20's I dated, for a short time, a woman who was verbally and emotionally abusive. ANY indication that she wasn't going to get her way about something, like I couldn't make it over there that evening or whatever, she'd show her true colors. Needless to say I ended that quickly. Very toxic individual.

FakeName123 · Answer

A couple of years ago I had a relationship with a young and unexperienced girl. During intense stress situations she started to slap me one time. So I said that if she does it one more time I slap back. She pushed it, so I did (medium strength, slightly red cheek, but thats it). She never did it again. So I guess sorta?

_SOARER · Answer

I never tolerated disrespect more than once. I always give them a warning. if they do it again I leave them. I have never been in abusive relationship. I find it crazy, that men tolerate so much from women.

Its their fault for letting themselves get abused.

Unit1 · Answer

I don't tolerate these "anymore". I say "anymore" in quote marks because there was no escaping from abusive parents as a child and being their legal property puppet.

I am living with a void in my heart day by day and carry on with my daily activities. I'll give up when I'm dead.

bolverk · Answer

Yes , but it did not last long. everything was sweetness and light but after a couple of months her true colours came out first it was screaming tantrums then the physical attacks started holding her off was not a problem, but the fist time she drew blood that ended it, I removed anything of mine from her flat and cut all ties, blocked her phone, email, told my family/friends what was going on and took a 6 month contract working in Saudi Arabia.

JCT666 · Answer

I'm not sure if it was abusive, but my first ex girlfriend was very manipulative. She kept cheating on me and threatened suicide every time I tried to break it off with her. I was very young at the time, so I could hardly stand up for myself.

Then a month after I broke up with her (finally), she messaged me and sent me videos of herself cutting her wrists and saying "look what you've made me do to myself". She's fucking psychotic.

Lov2PlezUgurl · Answer

If you check out my page youl see that it's been 8 years sense I've been with a woman (sex) and the reason isa couple of bad relationship i just wish there was room for me to write the story

Barbaric · Answer

No. I've been with women who've tried to control me or who've hit me, and the moment that happens we're done.

Anonymous · Answer

YES, I HAVE HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ABUSIVE WOMAN. SHE BASICALLY CHEATED ON ME AND HAD THE AUDACITY TO BEAT ME UP AFTER I FOUND OUT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WOMEN LOOK DOWN ON ABUSED MEN. IT'S LIKE WE HAVE NO RIGHTS, OTHER MEN CALL ME A BETA, A SIMP, AN EFFEMINATE GUY OR A WUSS. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE I FEEL LIKE SELF HARMING BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME ANYMORE. SHE MISTREATED ME BUT STILL, I'M BEING MADE FUN OF!

Kaneki05 · Answer

well considering i have be forced into sex by one yeah. And most of my ex's have been abusive.

EABsTUQ · Answer

Yeah but I feel weird calling it abuse. Emotional abuse it may be but... I was gonna say it made me a better person but the truth is i think it made me a less emotional person.

cth96190 · Answer

She used to throw heavy objects at me. Martial arts training allowed me to good at getting out of the way.

Nalix · Answer

I know people who have been abused. Actually, I find it kind of insulting to women the idea that a woman can't abuse a man.

legalboxers · Answer

Im in one now. she's mentally abusing me because I wasn't there to help her mother get cremated. And I wasn't a support system for her amid a crisis. (and we started dating only 2 weeks)

Anonymous · Answer

Does playing with feelings by saying that she loved me and wanted to marry me count? Actually she was just parsing her time and using me as sex buddy and chat buddy , also one to vent with.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I haven’t no because I wouldn't tolerate that nonsense.

AmeerX · Answer

My teachers are in such relationships so are many males in my country but they suck it up to look manly in front of other males

ryancg · Answer

I had this girl who was like a gaslighting artist, that bitch had me all messed up.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I have seen women become horribly abusive and feel entitled to do so.

Daniel3035 · Answer

Yes in fact all of them have been abusive in their own ways.

Grond21 · Answer

Thankfully not. But I have been up close and personal for several others

Anonymous · Answer

As far as relationships go only a lot of disrespect for no reason however I have had an abusive mother I don't know if that counts but that made me almost expect the same behavior from other women for a very very long time.

Men, have you had an abusive relationship with a woman?

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