Should I let my ex come to scan?

[Anonymous]

So my ex and i arnt together and it's going to stay that way

I have my 25 week scan coming up next week im going to find out my babys gender

I hate saying this because I don't want to sound like a b**ch but I don't want him to come.. I haven't heard from him in over a week since we officially split, and then his mother (who im close with) came over for a visit yesterday.

Then it just so happens I hear from him today and he checking that he'll meet me for the scan next week! (I have a feeling that his mum spoke to him - as I know he definitely wouldn't of remembered the date of scan)

i really prefer to go by myself so I can enjoy it, I know if he comes that i will feel uncomfortable and won't enjoy it as much

So I don't know what to do about the scan, should i tell him no or should I only let him come in to see 5mins of it?

[MissDawn7961]

go to the place where your having the scan done earlier than your appointment time ! if some one calls to ask you your scan time do not answer their call ! do not tell anyone about your scans any more so you will not have to concern yourself with your ex showing up ! thanks

[mamasan]

If he's the father and he plans to be involved in the baby's life, I think you should let him come. Things may be rocky between the two of you, but he is still the baby's father and always will be. If he is a good guy and plans to stick around, you'll be dealing with him for years to come anyway. If he does come to the scan, you can keep all talk about the baby only. No talk about the relationship, breakup, etc. if that is only going to upset you.

[Asker]

but i need space from him right now and yeah he is very much happy about being a dad again lol this is my first but his second and he is a great father to his son he has with his other ex

[mamasan]

That makes sense, and I think it's fair to ask for space, especially since it seems like the breakup is pretty recent. I'm not sure how reasonable he is, but maybe just explain that you need some space right now but you would be happy to fill him in after the appointment.

[Asker]

but this is the gender scan which i am sure he will want to be there

[mamasan]

Maybe do a gender reveal instead. The ultrasound tech can seal the gender results in an envelope and you can do a gender reveal that the father can somehow be a part of. That way, you're not really finding anything out at the appointment itself, so he won't really be missing anything. I completely understand if that isn't what you want to do, but just a thought on how to put your ex at ease by asking him to skip the appointment.

[Danny_dan92]

He’s an ex for a reason. Keep it that way, push out that baby in a few months and good luck to you and your newborn child

[Anonymous]

Its fine if he cares for baby then he will come by himself otherwise you got other things to care about

[Asker]

i mean should i let him in the room with me or not

[Opinion Owner]

You should

[Anonymous]

You do not to discuss how much involvement you both want of the relationship (I'm not saying you dont want full involvement, if it comes across like that). If he wants to be involved when the baby is born, he should be allowed to the scans really. However if you are uncomfortable, maybe talk to him about you doing the first checks alone if you want to talk to the doctor, then let him in?

[Anis09]

You are pregnant, and you have to focus on the best for you and your baby. If you want to go alone because is healthier for you, do it is your decision.

[Asker]

but i know he will hold it against me if i stop him

[Asker]

love the profile pic by the way

[Anis09]

If both are separated you have the right to have your own space, a pregnant and breakup are delicate topics that are better given time and calm.
Thanks😊

[Asker]

yeah but i know he is happy to be a dad and all that but i feel like i need space from him right now

[Asker]

do you have any kids?

[Anis09]

Share your opinion about his feelings for the baby and recognize it could be a good thing to both feel comfortable to talk. You can say about your current feelings too.
No, I don't have kids.

[OliviaZoey]

I hate to ruin it for you but it’s a boy

[Asker]

lol how can you tell lol

[OliviaZoey]

Tell me about what you eat what you crave

[Asker]

erm why

[mrgspoter]

Up to you, sounds like you shouldn't have him.