Is it self defeating for a guy to tell himself he “needs” a girlfriend? Is MGTOW the best and safest option for men?

[Jack9949]

I feel like we don’t. It’s an ideal but not an essential.

I think its a really bad mindset to have.

Don’t expect happiness to come from anybody else because you can find it naturally within yourself.

Back when I was in the “I need a girlfriend” phase I was a lot less happy. I focused a lot less on my own development as a person which made me almost lose my sense of dignity and self-respect.

I think MGTOW is right on point. I don’t hate all women or anything but its best to live independently. Women declare divorce 90% of the time and get half that money.

Why should I take that chance?

Love is acting on emotion, not logic.

Yes

No

[Yads_Is_Back]

Well those two are completely opposite, one will make the other nearly impossible for the future if something was to come up, needing a girlfriend is far different from hating women as MGTOW does, and it's your life so you do you.

If you're wanting to be an independent man and do your own thing and kind of ignore women for a bit, that's what all real men do at some point - at least the ones who have learned. Then some settle down when they find a woman who's worth their efforts or they don't but they stay happy. They don't claim a title and try to be all buddy with it for attention and hatred though; that's the difference.

Keep in mind that if you don't do that though and you actually get into the hatred and claiming the name that no woman who's worth anything will even fool with you after that, most likely. Like me, I won't fool with guys who have ever been MGTOW because it's just psycho guys that women don't want lol which actually goes along with what the previous user said: MGTOW is self-defeating. (Both of those you said are, really.) And by you saying these things and then talking about going MGTOW, this exactly proves my point every time I say MGTOW is just a group of undesired men and usually incels. (I'm not saying that's what you are because I don't know, but that's what you're making it sound like, so I guess you proved the point for me. So that's nothing against you. From what I know of you, you're a great guy and I'm sorry you're in this position.)

[Jack9949]

I just don’t know what MGTOW is actually like.

[Lifeofsun]

Well I think you should focus on your grind quite honestly speaking. You’re 18 years old ( from profile) and trust me dating isn’t all that at your age. I would focus on money and increasing your self confidence, individuality and making decisions that your future self will thank you for. The women will happen eventually and at that time choose wisely who you want to get to know. Based on your beliefs and values what you want in a woman not just her looks. Yes divorce happens but I think a great woman who will allow a man to lead and be a nurturing mother who is also happy, joyful and confident as an individual can be a great addition to a man and make him even better ( believe it or not) choose wisely on what matters past her looks and build that trust and friendship. A wife should really be your best friend in life ( should anyway) and from a logical stand point a marriage with kids means your legacy is being extended through your kids who will carry your last name and a woman who you can trust and confide in.

[Jack9949]

Exactly. The dating pool just sucks for teenagers. Breakup and cheating are commonplace. It isn’t worth my time or effort.

[Anonymous]

Well the reality is that people do need each other otherwise there’s no more people. It’s just that western culture is particular dumb about it and women flip out at the prospect of “needing” a guy.


I’ll say I need a woman, it doesn’t mean I don’t have my own personality, interests, ambitions, etc, I’m just not being an idiot about it. It is far too common and insanely obnoxious to hear women who have to specify that they don’t “need” you. It’s like, why the fuck do you feel the need to say that? I swear, it’s the most obnoxious toxic shit.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, it is self-defeating to tell yourself that you "need" a girlfriend. Yes, MGTOW (also known as MFTOCEM - Men Fixin' Their Own Coffee Every Morning) is the safest alternative for every guy. Is it the best? You've gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance. Everyone must make that decision based on their own needs and values.

Do not believe what other guys tell you about divorce laws. Most of them have no idea what the law actually is. All they know is that they feel they got screwed in court and they are blaming the law.

[Jack9949]

If I can live happily without one why go for one?

[OlderAndWiser]

Doesn't matter to me. In fact, I would prefer that you drop out of the competition.

[Jack9949]

We’ve likely never even come across the same women tho

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay. I'm not here to convince everyone that they should date. But it's kind of like someone deciding that they don't like pizza without ever having tasted it.

[mindNsoul]

Modern feminists started telling women the same and now their footsteps are followed by MGTOW (which is a stupid name. You guys need rebranding lol)

Men and women hating on each other is just immature. It is not even attractive. No man wants to live with a man hater and no woman wants to love a woman hater. Simple. You are too young to even get frustrated like that. Enjoy life. Enjoy love. Don't be obsessed with having a woman that's true. However there is nothing more fulfilling and more beautiful than being in love with a good woman. Work on yourself tho and be a good man.

You all stop this nonsense. Men and women compliment each other. We were meant to enjoy and take care of each other.

[Jack9949]

I mean I get that MGTOW is typically seen as the male version of feminists. But that might just be how the media portrays them?

[mindNsoul]

That's also how they portray themselves here on GaG!

[Jack9949]

But the internet is full of misfits

[mindNsoul]

Sure thing. Listen man you do you. As long you maintain fairness, kindness and love in your heart. It is your path and your journey.

[Jack9949]

I don’t think a few jackasses define an entire movement.

[Year3000]

No bro just get laid, you are too young to even think about settling down. I mean from a young age I always had a girlfriend till adulthood, when I was in college, and after, I was just having sex with as many women as possible. Women get emotional after sex sometimes so be careful. I think it’s a positive thing for growth as a child to have a girlfriend because you don’t want to be too segregated/isolated from another gender it can make guys seem socially off.

[Jack9949]

That is a fair point! Did you ever contract any STDs?

[Year3000]

No but I’ve gotten a girl pregnant

[Jack9949]

How did that situation resolve? And how many times have you fucked?

[Year3000]

Got it taken cared of at a women’s clinic, no big deal. With what partner, with all of them together 2000+ times? I’m 24 also not 23.

[Jack9949]

I mean abortion is murder tho. I’d still use contraceptives.

[Year3000]

lol you might get curious about how it feels without a condom.

[Jack9949]

I get it bro but like was she on the pill?

[Year3000]

The one I got pregnant, no she wasn’t but we talked abortion before so I wasn’t worried.

[Jack9949]

Abortion is immoral tho. I’d try and avoid that situation

[Year3000]

Yeah it costs money but whatever.

[Jack9949]

How could you not care? Its murder

[Year3000]

I don’t have any beliefs that strong, I eat meat, but vegan people would say the same thing you are.

[Mickey9999]

Need and want are two totally separate things. I don’t need anyone to make it through life. I have my own house/property and paid it in full. My own cars (3) and pay the insurance on all of them and the newest with a payment. I have my own 401k with six digits. I take my own vacations alone or with friends. But what I want when I want. So no i don’t NEED anyone but I WANT someone but I’m willing to wait for something REAL not convenient.

[Hjalti_Talos]

Being dependent upon relationships for validation is absolutely harmful, but the large majority of MGTOW media can be just as hurtful to men and their mental health. I left the movement a while back but still find myself using some of their more radical buzzwords and dogwhistle phrases within regular conversation. If you think MGTOW is your best option, just take care to be careful of the kind of things you're consuming.

[Jack9949]

Could you tell me more about them? I’m curious to know

[Hjalti_Talos]

Sure. A lot of the more popular creators, such as Mayor of MGTOWN, Pops, and others talk a lot about the divorce process and how family courts are geared against fathers. They also talk a great deal about 3rd (?) Wave Feminism and how its basically undone traditional marriage and drastically changed the male-female relationship dynamic. While these are all well and good, other talking points of theirs are actively detrimental. Talking points such as SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value, aka how attractive you are) and their general ragging points on gynocentrism (female focus) in society and education make them seem like they don't want females anywhere ever. And also they come across as bad as Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists when it comes to transphobia most of the time. Like I said, be careful when it comes to your media consumption. My time in MGTOW, I argue, changed me for the worse, and made me despise people I had no business despising.

[Liam_Hayden]

1. Yes. You do not "need."
2. No. MGTOW had some good advice in the beginning, especially relating to the dangers of marriage and even living together under current laws, but much of the movement has devolved from self-empowerment into women-hating.

[Jack9949]

Interesting. Tell me more

[codydevan88]

MGTOW is a mental disorder caused by women. but has a root in ideology and technology. big fat NO. you can still find a non-abusive women. check churches and small towns.

[memer2020]

yea for far too long men are told they are not men or are gay for not having a woman in his life

we need more independent men but i recommend you don't go to the MGTOW because although they to call out toxic behaviors among women , they over exaggerate it

their criticism of women quickly turn into misogyny

[Anonymous]

No. MGTOW is just taking your own genes out of the pool. It's effectively suicide in an evolutionary sense.

Its best to date whilst keeping the red pill in mind. Practicing game is the best way to go. Not abandoning the dating world all together.

[Jack9949]

But why make a wrong decision? Women can easily manipulate men. They do it all the time.

[Opinion Owner]

Women can only easily manipulate weak men who don't understand them.

Read "the rational male" and women will have a hard time manipulating you.

[Gavyn]

Real love is loving someone even when it’s hard. Love is an action, not an emotion.

[Jack9949]

Love has only ever led me in the wrong direction...

[Archerer]

Lust*

[Jack9949]

@Archerer No I’m not talking about the feelings people get in their pants

[Gavyn]

Well that’s not love. That’s lust

[Jack9949]

I wasn’t talking about that

[Gavyn]

Lust is sexual attraction. That feeling in your pants is lust, @Jack9949 Real love is not just a feeling in your pants or an emotion. That’s the point I’m trying to say. You’re following false love and infatuation, getting hurt or disappointed, and blaming it on love instead of your own lack of self-awareness.

[Jack9949]

When did I mention being lustful? You’re assuming that

[Archerer]

No, it is in fact MGTOW that is self defeating.

[Jack9949]

But its about independence and self sufficiency

[Archerer]

Yet it focuses so much on how much they hate women, and for that reason they will never find a woman, which will only drive them further into the rabbithole = self defeating

[Jack9949]

I consider “self defeating” to mean lowered self esteem.

[Archerer]

That is not what self defeating means. But I hear you, and anyway I still think overall it would lower your self-esteem too. I am not saying you need a woman, I am saying that putting yourself in with the MGTOW is suicide. You don't need to belong to a cult to find acceptance and approval. If you REALLY are independent and self sufficient, you wouldn't need MGTOW. you'd just be independent and self-sufficient.

[Jack9949]

I mean cults are cool tho

[Jack9949]

And seeing all those guys getting angry would be entertaining to say the least

[Archerer]

Well shit, if that is how you feel, then what can I say... Cults are seriously messed up though.

[Yads_Is_Back]

@archerer You are right. I admire men who possess what most people call "sense."

[Browneye57]

You're a moron.

[Jack9949]

Perhaps so.

[Browneye57]

No girlfriend... no pussy. Go after what you want - NEVER turn over power over yourself to anything or anybody. EVER.
MGTOW is for losers. The guys that have already thrown in the towel.

[Jack9949]

I mean its called saving money on people who waste your time and effort 🤷‍♂️