Does telling a male friend that I need a man/boyfriend in my life sound pathetic or endearing?

[Bethany22]

Lately I've really been needing a boyfriend. Maybe it's because I hate my job, and think that it could be the perfect time for an old-fashioned type guy and I to bond, since I'd be ready to just stay home and cook him all kinds of meals and clean. If I talk this way with my crushes/dates, will that turn them off, or will it cause their heroic gene to kick in, since I'm acting vulnerable, stating my needs, and implying that it's a win-win for him (rescuing a woman who wants to make home-cooked meals for him)?

[SteveSmith1985]

It will turn off your crushes/dates if you talk that way... ASIDE from "a certain type" of guy. There are a small percentage of guys who love the idea of a housewife. But they're often guys with some overal pretty problematic views. It's going to be something that will turn most guys right off. It depends what the guy is looking for.

Now, do not talk about needing a boyfriend to anyone who you are autitioning for the potential role of boyfriend. In other words, if this "male friend" is someone who is a potential romantic prospect. DO NOT mention anything about needing/wanting a boyfriend. If this guy is just a regular friend you have no romantic interest in, then there's no problem.

To me, that doesn't come off as either pathetic or endearing. I hear that all the time from women I'm legitimately just friends with. It's a very normal thing for a woman to express to an actual friend.

But if a girl I was interested in... was talking about needing a boyfriend... what that says to me... is that "I'm nothing special to you. You are fitting me into a slot. You were looking for SOMEBODY to be your boyfriend. You feel you need one in your life. It's hard to feel someone's affection/interest in you is sincere in the same way.

(nevermind that, in reality... it doesn't mean that. When a female friend says this to me... I don't think she's just finding some guy for the sake of finding a guy. I'm around for that whole process. I KNOW it's not actually like that. They genuinely like the guy they end up dating. But... It would not be a wise thing for someone who was romantically interested in me to say. It would lose you point with me FOR SURE.)

[livinglargetoo]

I have always been attracted to vulnerable woman. My wife had just come off an abusive relationship when I met her. She was beaten, black eyes, the whole 9 yards. I just wanted to protect her and be kind to her though at the time I wasn't in love. She is such a sweet person but very submissive and I think men perceive that as weakness. Anyway, after 5 years together we got married. That was 41 years ago. What you're feeling isn't pathetic. It's beautiful.

[FilmGuy93]

It's more endearing than pathetic, but it could come across pathetic though, depending on how you phrase things and how often you bring it up.

I once went on a first date with a woman who, once she felt a connection with me, transformed from a cool, calm and confident woman, into... frankly... a teenage girl who was grasping at straws to find something she could say to make herself attractive to me. She started talking about kids, wanting to be a mother and wife, trying to figure out what it would take to get me to move to her city... She said it all with a really scared, desperate, and vulnerable look in her eyes.

It was really sad to watch, honestly. It didn't turn me off, but it definitely didn't make her more attractive either.

[Staximus]

If you depend on a guy to pay your bills, you're up shit creek without a paddle if the relationship goes south and you have to bail out. You should definitely not want to be dependent on a guy who you don't know well.

Some guys are looking for a wife or something serious. Some aren't marriage minded or can't afford to support a woman and won't like that. Some guys might view a woman who is not working or taking care of the kids as a lackadaisical manipulator who doesn't want to be a contributor and help each other get ahead financially, but that's usually a view held by guys who cannot afford to support a woman.

If I could afford to support a woman, I would not care if she worked or not; as long as she's not trying to spend my money on stupid unnecessary shit or fucking the neighbor when I'm at work like my friend's ex wife did. If she wants to buy stupid shit, she can get a job to pay for it haha

[Pegases]

We need each other. This is one of those instances where women often keep other women single, because of modern day feminism. Independent women are notorious for and only seeking companionship after a certain age, which tends to be 30 for most. It's ashame so many women realize later and later, because it gets tougher for women to find genuine men after thirty. But I digress, the point is we are biologically wired to seek companionship. It's normal.

[exitseven]

I had a really close female friend and we used to be able to talk about stuff like this all the time. I really liked having somebody i could talk about personal stuff with and I was really touched that she used to trust me with her innermost thoughts.

[Hanrej]

Depends on the man and what he's capable of. Most will likely be scared by the added responsibility or dumb enough to not think it through. Then there are a few select men these days that can actually afford to support a stay-at-home girlfriend/wife who may think the idea is a win-win.

[OlderAndWiser]

Regardless of what they think. . . wouldn't that cause you to wonder if a guy is with you because he likes/loves you, or he is with you because he wants someone to take his mom's place as his caretaker?

[lightbulb27]

It's fine if he came from and wants a stay at home wife. Probably positive for most, unless they are only thinking about money, or they mis interpret it as you are lazy and going to play video games and watch soap operas all day. So it depends how you convey it, somewhat.

[anon1903]

Depends. I sure as hell won't date you if it's just because your work life isn't running smooth and you want a break, thanks to patriarchy, you can get one.

Thankfully, men are way kinder. They won't judge. As long as you're willing to pay in other ways.

[Mr1derful]

Turn on and desirable to me! I think a lot of men would prob want that again, not for a dominant or a status factor at all, but just for them also missing and wanting a good feminine loving down to earth girl again. Things have changed so much and to some that is great, but not to everyone. I def would love that!

[mattc007007]

":rescuing a woman who wants to make home-cooked meals for him" ..

Please tell your friends & other women this is the ideal scenario for most dudes. Thank you!

[Luffy1990]

It’s a really sweet thing to actually say to a guy , but it’s also wreaks of desperation. I don’t go around telling girls I want a girlfriend (tho I really want 1)

[Jdjfjcjj]

Well for one it would sound like he's be chosen now as the guy of last resort

[Jdjfjcjj]

It does sound better then the women who constantly claim they don't need a man

[Fireguy17]

I would change "I need" to I would someday like to have, or I would like to find that someone special someday.
It sounds a bit less desperate, and less pathetic.

[bamesjond0069]

Men love women who need them. Good girl. Men hate that independent bullshit.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for all guys, but it's endearing for me.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think it's all cool, and it would be fine for a girl to do with me.

[Mansearching]

Its sounds like you're relieving frustrations to a friend. Nothing wrong with that.

[peedy]

It might piss him off or make him feel inadequate because you're not interested in him he's got put in the friend zine

[Guardian45]

What you're saying is the same thing that guys think, or at least I do.

[Jdusud8x]

Relationships are a waste of time, women provide all the value, zero reason for women to have a relationship.