I think I caught feelings for this guy I hooked up with?

[izzie_morris]

Hi guys, this is going to sound stupid but I really need support about this. I’m on a 2 week vacation right now and the other day I saw this guy in a mall and we were making so much eye contact for like an hour at this café and I thought I had found the love of my life. He approached me and asked for my phone number and when I got home he texted me asking to meet me. He’s Italian and speaks barely any English so we had to use google translate and he told me he saw something special in me and thinks we could have a future together possible even in my country. I’m not that dumb and gullible to believe that a stranger would do that for me but because he’s Italian part of me though maybe his culture is to be direct and romantic like that. I was acting like I was part of some romance movie or something... 😞 Anyway pretty soon after that he started touching me and we basically hooked up (we didn’t go all the way though). I tried a lot of things with him that I’ve never done before and we’re firsts for me and as soon as I got home I started feeling extremely emotional about it and just started crying a lot. Now it’s a few days later and I thought I had gotten over it but now I have this strange feeling that I have caught feelings for him. I really like him and his personality in a romantic way, and not just a one time hook up... So I just tried telling him I think I like him but now I feel heartbroken because I know for a fact he doesn’t feel the same. He just told me we can stay friends and talk on Snapchat when I leave, but because of the long distance a romantic relationship wouldn’t work. I kind of had a feeling in my head he was lying about moving to be with me but I guess part of me wanted to trust him. So essentially he used me for my body and I’m literally in tears right now, because I feel like I am in love with him or something 😭 I don’t know what to do... can anyone relate or please have any suggestions or opinions on the situation?

[AmandaYVR]

I'm a bit worried about you, girl. I think you've very vulnerable out there. It seems like there's been a string of guys who have shown interest in the physical, but are pretty lukewarm on committing to anything else, even texting you back.

He used you. You got charmed by the accent and his looks. I know the lure of Italians. Some of them have really got the moves (but that's of course true of all guys.) But God, that accent. It drips like honey. And the dark hair. Some are gorgeous. And some have great personalities. But not all. Some are capitalizing on that Italian mystique. This guy should have been a makeout-only guy for you (on account of the distance, for one, and his somewhat sleazy, over-the-top tactics, for another.) Your ears should have immediately pricked up, the hair stand up on the back of your neck, when he said "future together" upon first meeting. Nonsense. You have to make better decisions next time. I don't think you're going to be happy with yourself later if you continue to jump in so quickly like this. At this age, you're almost a sitting duck. Many guys probably want to 'deflower' you (sorry, such a lame phrase), and I have a feeling it might be a good looking, persistent one, not one who really cares about getting to know you.

I'm proud of you though, for not being a passive wallflower, and waiting by the wayside for some guy to sweep you off your feet. You are a modern girl and there's nothing wrong with reaching out, or reciprocating with some enthusiasm when someone shows interest in you. But you need to develop a better filter. I hate to say it, but you need to assume that every guy does just want a hookup. Start with that, and then start working backwards, to see if anyone actually takes the time, without things getting sexual, to get to know you. In the meantime, do have some fun, but make out, etc. Don't get yourself in a situation where you're half naked, and the guy's demanding oral from you, and maybe one of them doesn't stop. Don't jump in, feet first. You're too sweet a soul to throw caution to the wind. You'll regret it later when you feel like you were used.

[izzie_morris]

Hey Amanda :) I was just reading through my old questions and I remember reading this on the night when I made this question and I was so upset and emotional - I completely forgot to reply to you and thank you. Everything you said is so true because I've been so naive with guys recently and this month I've been home and let another man use me for what he wanted then disappear. I don't know why I'm so oblivious, I guess I just have to much hope in people and I catch feelings so quickly which is such an embarrassing trait. Anyways I'm working on it and I want to thank u for being here for me on this website <3

[AmandaYVR]

Aww you're welcome, Izzie. Hang in there, don't get discouraged. It'll get easier one day. There are still good people out there, just gotta flush them out.
You're such a sweetheart 💛 🎄

[yucychan]

I don't feel what you did is necessarily wrong. All of us desire some form of love and attention. So don't beat yourself up too much over it.
Probably the only thing inappropriate was that you two moved too fast. You need to accept the fact that he never really wanted to have a serious relationship with you. I don't think he meant to cheat nor hurt you. He just says what he feels at that spur of the moment, even though he knows it may not be possible.
I don't think it was his intentions to cheat you nor hurt you. I do hope you can find closure and move on. Cry it out, scream or go yell from a mountain top if you have to. Just let it go.

[izzie_morris]

Just wanted to thank you so much for this answer, you're so right about everything here <3

[Guanfei]

He's just your first in many things and you consider it special. That's it. I think you wanted to go all the way through, but you didn't, and now it's still there because it's not over for you.
I'd say, do it again completely this time, or just never contact him again and let it pass.

[Guanfei]

I should have added: you're just a hookup to him, nothing more, don't try or expect to get more from him. He'll have sex with you, sext with you, and that's about it.

[Squirts93]

This

[TallAnon]

And by "keep talking over snapchat" he means, I want nudes from you.

Basically, he just used you and doesn't care for much but to get as much sexual content out of you as possible, for your mental sanity, I'd suggest blocking him.

[Hangry22]

You fell for his play. If it's true love. distance doesn't matter. He said all those stuff to get inside you. Be glad you guys don't have a relation since google translator would be a third wheel in your relation

[Unit1]

Ah well. Stuff like this happens. Not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

he's Italian. Don't you ever watch movies? They say/do whatever they have to do to get in your pants. That's it. Only in the movies do they actually fall for the person.

[KrakenAttackin]

You "caught" feelings, like catching an STD?

[Nahid1707]

You like him?