What are your thoughts on sharing your location with your significant other?

Question

My boyfriend is wanting me to share my location with him. I’m not hiding anything, but I’m not sure about that. What are y’all’s thoughts?

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

There are so many reasons a person would want this. Some show caring and some show insecurities. My concern is he asked to track you without explaining his reasoning first. Never set someone up to make a decision without first making sure all the facts are known.

Let's say your neighbor comes up to you and asks whether you're busy this weekend. If you say you're busy, he may respond with, "I was given tickets to a concert for a band you like, but I don't care for, but, that's all right, I'll find someone else to give them to." If you say you're free, he may say "I'm moving this weekend. Thanks for being willing to help me." No one likes to be forced to make a decision before the facts are on the table. Let's say your boyfriend is offered a job, and payment is $5000 a week. Would he accept that job? What if he later learned the payment is to the employer, not from the employer?

Sometimes, people want to be able to track their dog or cell phone if it is lost. Having that ability can allow you to find the lost pet or phone before injury or damage can be done. Let's say you call him and tell him you were just in an auto accident and hit your head. You can't remember where you are, but you know you need help. A tracker would be helpful in that situation.

Sometimes, people feel so insecure, they can't believe others could care enough to be honest with them. They need to constantly crosscheck whatever a person says to reassure themselves. Being in a relationship with an insecure person is very draining. No matter what you say or do, nothing is ever believed. Never make decisions without first having all the pertinent facts.

Almost10inch4funlol · Accepted Answer

If it’s voluntary I’m coo with that but if it’s mandatory then that’s too far, I can only be in a relationship with a woman I completely trust and that completely trust me to enjoy our selves respectfully when not accompanying each other. I love to see the other men in the club see my beautiful woman and want her, I’m even cool with her dancing with guys and I’ll be dancing with girls, dancing isn’t personal but conversation is as long as I trust my woman I can enjoy my solitude while she goes on a girls night and not be consumed by the addictive, toxic , and anxiety of being wondering if my girl is getting dicked down by the imaginary man in my head that’s aesthetically perfect and richer than I 😱😂😂😂😂😂 I’d rather be with someone that I can trust. My point is this:

A relationship without trust is like a car with no wheels, you can sit in it but it’s going nowhere.

Pay attention to when you are being sucked into the toxic relationship with someone you constantly have to feel like you have to provide proof of every word they say and it can be addictive and exciting at the time because they keep you on your toes but it’s only going to end in either mental, physical, disaster.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Hmmm... When he calls you, don't you tell him you're here or there? Why does he need a location finder on you all the time.
Something's wrong about this. I don't share my location with anyone: not my adult son or anyone else. I don't allow location finders when they're requested by companies: google, yahoo and even places where I shop online. This is an information gathering method to sell you something in the future, in THAT case.
In the case of your boyfriend? He doesn't trust you. This is disturbing. You need to have a serious talk with him about this if you're in a serious relationship with him.
If this is some new guy, have the talk also and tell him it's none of his business where you are. He needs to trust you.
If nothing comes of this in EITHER case, you need to move on. He's got self-esteem issues, trust issues and worst of all CONTROL issues that YOU CANNOT SOLVE. Your giving up YOUR privacy to placate him is the first step on the slippery slope toward giving up your personal freedom.
RED FLAG, RED FLAG!!! RUUUNnnnnnnn!!!

1Anon · Accepted Answer

I don’t like it but my dad and best friend can see my location (for safety reasons and I can see theirs). However, my husband has tracked my location for years (iPhone’s Find My Friends) and only a few months ago he allowed me to track his location. I’m not bothered about seeing his location because I don’t care about those things. However, my husband is also my dom/master and we moved to being 24/7 so he generally does have control over me as I’m obedient (for the most part lol). But aside from that dynamic, it’s weird to share locations unless it’s for safety reasons and even then, it depends on the type of relationship.

razelove · Answer

Ugh, my wife offered that, it seems so damned creepy, controlling, and very easy to manipulate from the person being tracked. Pick up a prepay while you're getting groceries, call in sick to work, leave the tracked phone in the car, rock and roll.

It just seems so pointless and odd. The only time digital as opposed to HUMINT surveillance has a chance of working is when your target doesn't know about it which is, you know, highly illegal.

lumos · Answer

I don't see why that would be necessary in a relationship where there's trust. I only understand sharing your location if a) you're supposed to meet up somewhere or b) you're walking home alone at night and he wants to make sure you're safe. Sharing your location at all times just seems excessive and unnecessary.

mistixs · Answer

Depends on intention.
I would actually love to share my location with a loved one so that they would know if I'm being dragged by a kidnapper into a dark alley or something.
But if the reason they made that suggestion was so that they could be controlling, or to make sure I wasn't cheating, I would feel hurt by the implications.
It's definitely something I would prefer to bring up, instead of my partner bringing it up.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

This is a potential warning sign of a controlling personality.

abc3643 · Answer

Here's what you say:

"I will share my location with you only when it's absolutely necessary and I want you to keep track of me for safety reasons, like I am traveling in bad weather.

Otherwise, I am turning the Location setting on my phone to OFF because, when Location is ON, it drains my battery much faster. That's a safety hazard if I am in trouble like stuck in a dead car in bad weather and have no phone power to call for help."

^^^^^^^^^^ Everything I wrote above is true which is why my Location setting is off, but I turn it on when I am travelling across country (and charging in my car) so my wife knows where I am.

Mac-One · Answer

When we were young and dating, and during our working years, we did not have phones and tracking capability.

We were young when we got married. When going different places (working or other) we always told (called or other) the other one before leaving and upon arriving; mainly out of caring and concern. When working at the same location we traveled together whenever possible.

Currently we spend over 99% of our time together and other than an occasional quick trip to a local store (let the other one know where and when) we go everywhere together. About 2 years ago we got our first mobil phone and take it when away from home for security reasons only; not for tracking or any other reason.

We never had secrets as to where we were or where and when we were going. Would have liked to had the capability to track our children when they young but the technology did not exist then; mobil phones did not even exist.

Anonymous · Answer

Well this is just me but the guy I’m seeing, I just asked him to put his snap map on and he was super chill about it and did it. I didn’t ask to be controlling but just to show him something cool. He left it on for me to see wherever he is and I’ve left mine on for him too. We both trust each other a lot so we don’t have to hide anything. He’ll ask where I am and I’ll him along with sending a cute photo of me wherever I am and he’ll do the same. All innocent, non controlling behaviour. It’s healthy and it’s nice to be able to be so open with a person and have it not be toxic. We LOVE sharing everything with each other and won’t try make the other feel worried by not doing something when they need reassurance (we get our moments as well) but yeah when the person is controlling and obsessive then that’s bad...

Aethereal · Answer

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's only a problem if your partner isn't planning to reciprocate by sharing his location with you too.

Note that I personally don't think it's healthy for couples to hide things from each other. I also support couples knowing each other's passwords and having access to each other's phones and social media.

But for this sort of thing to work well, you both need to have discussed your individual stances on boundaries, clingyness, etc in advance of becoming a couple. I don't believe these things make a relationship toxic. It only becomes toxic when one person tries to impose a system on their partner that they don't want. This could indeed be wanting to know each other's location, but it could also be not wanting to know each other's location.

What makes a relationship healthy is that both partners are happy with the arrangement they have, not what outsiders think is healthy.

JustTheTrue · Answer

It is a sign of a controlling personality, but it isn’t just that. Maybe he is insecure and feels like you can find someone else and he is scare of that. He probably think that there are better guys out there and tend to compare himself to others and that’s one reason why insecurities come into play. Trust me a lot of guys tend to have that kind of insecurities even me one of the most confident person on the planet lol..
Main point is that he is either a controlling person or an insecure one.

PhantomMk · Answer

If your going somewhere sure your unfamiliar with sure why not that way in case you get lost he can find your location without the attacker knowing but if you know where your going hell no first of all your are his girlfriend not his daughter (I’d have some problems if he did this to her that’s a discussion for a later date) he doesn't need to know your location 24/7 unless he is that insecure if he is then he needs to hit the road, secondly if you want to know my location I can play the same game give me yours and don’t turn it off or we are done so let him know it works both ways and lastly ask him did he do that to his ex and that will probably shut him up.

Nawlins34 · Answer

My fiancee, I tell her my locations for safety purposes. If something goes wrong, she knows where to look first and yada, yada.

That being said, prior to this relationship, I knew the difference between giving my location for safety purposes and feeding info to an insecure person.

If I feel like I'm doing the latter, I end the relationship with that person. Because if they truly are insecure, them knowing my location will not resolve any issues, it'll create more. We have to find a balance, which is easy to find with a logical person.

Just my opinion on the matter, I hope I helped. Good luck and be safe.

VanillaSalt · Answer

It’s nota bad thing. Think of it this way. When you have kids will you want to track them and make sure their safe and following the rules? If their ever murdered or go missing you can find them. If they lie and go to the party or play hooky you know. I think acceptable restrictions are good for people because it gives us a line to stay straight on.

I also understand trust is important but... I’ve had 3 cheaters out of 3... if a lack of trust can be resolved with such a simple method it seems worth it. Besides I’ve called my ex many times “are you still at the store” no well damn. Go back you forgot the milk or whatever.

NathanDavis · Answer

You can try it for a couple of days and then see what happens, once he knows your location, and he starts to question you about every single place you go and what have you been doing, and with whom... this is a very terrible sign. But if does not ask many questions at all, then maybe he was just a bit paranoid and wanted to ease his mind.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

It's a strange request. Before deciding, I'd find out his motive. What's his motive for needing to know precisely where you are at any given moment

There's no need to know where your partner is every minute of every day. You're not a prisoner that's being monitored on tag.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I shared my location with my ex, but I didn't realise his location would be shared with me too. He got annoyed and closed it down simply because it would have shown me he wasn't where he claimed he was.
I had no suspicion over where he may have been as I trusted him, but he showed me at nearly every step in our relationship to tread with caution.
I really don't get how someone could be so corrupt.

sheikalana · Answer

Even if you have nothing to hide there's something called privacy that everyone is entitled to. Why does he want you to share your location? Is it because he doesn't trust you?

DJB72 · Answer

I tell my wife of 17 years where I'm going to be but we don't have access to each other's GPS location on Google if that's what you mean.

I shared my location with her twice in the last few years. Both times when I had to go a significant distance on a motorcycle so she wouldn't worry. That's the only reason.

bowenw · Answer

It sounds like he's controlling and a no-win situation. If you agree he'll be happy. If you don't, he'll be upset. If you're not comfortable with the idea you could tell him you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but you're a big girl and don't need it, but thanks anyway. If you're okay with it, be sure it works both ways.

Toast792 · Answer

I would only consider sharing my location if I was going on a long trip/driving to a different state, or if I were using uber and the driver made me feel unsafe. Any other situation feels a bit controlling. But I dont know you or your relationship, so maybe your boyfriend is just protective.

Anonymous · Answer

I would only do that for someone who is in trouble or so.
I even often have location and/or data signal switched off when out and about because I do not want to be tracked by Google and to safe battery. No way a boyfriend of mine need that information. He can just ask if he wants to know where I am.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

That's crossing the line into some big brother shit. It's one thing wanting to know where your significant other is going if they say they are heading out, but asking and requesting their location shows insecurity and lack of trust in my eyes.

I ask my girlfriend where she is heading if she heads out for the night and I don't think much of it because she has shown me that I can trust her time and again.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

When I was still in a relationship, my partner wanted to share location. For the most part I didn’t care because I am the kind of person who doesn’t leave my place unless I absolutely have to. I mainly used to to see when I should expect her to arrive at my place if she were to drive over but I never cared about what she did when we were away.

Any other situation though I’d say it’s a red flag because it’s a massive risk of abuse of power. I see parents fall for this trap every time it was used.

Horny-ashell · Answer

I personally don't believe in tracking someone is a good thing there's always going to be that question about why we're you at that place and why did you spend so much time there. I think it's an invasion of one's privacy. That's just how I think about it and I do know some people that are doing that with their s/o and it usually turns into some kind of arrangement.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Controlling. Lack of trust. Do not ignore these giant red flags. They will look large in the near future. If he doesn't trust you now, do you think it will get worse or better over time? Answer: it's only going to get worse.
What ever you like about this guy, your going to feel like his prisoner before long. I already know how this story ends... Not good. This is how love turns to hate. It's a virtual certainty.
This is the downside of youth and innocence.

Novacane · Answer

I say why not, what if something bad happens, it will come in handy to know where your last location was. Personally, I share my location with family and friends, so I wouldn't mind sharing it with my significant other, as you said you are not hiding anything, sharing location doesn't have to do with them thinking you are hiding anything, I see it as safety measures.

AJiJoe · Answer

It depends on the situation. If he worries about you, definitely share it. Unfortunately, awful things happening to young women isn't uncommon. You're definitely at higher risk of something happening to you if you ever go on a walk or run alone. I'd definitely want to have my location trackable if I were to go missing. It could be essential to my survival. I may sound paranoid, but stuff like this has actually happened to me. Don't risk it. If not a significant other, share your location with your best friend or family members.

If he doesn't trust you, then no. You're just enabling him to be toxic. If he can't trust you, then he's not ready to be in a relationship, period.

RyzaStout · Answer

I have an app called Life360 where you can share your location. Me and my hubby have a group on there, and then there's a group with me, my mum, my sisters, my stepdad, and my hubby so we can all see our locations. Doesn't bother me

xCherryKizz · Answer

Well that depends on the situation. Does he do it often? Is it because he is worried for you, because u always go home late after work?

Did he do it because you dont tell him where you usually go, and he's worried? Or if you constantly lie?

Or is he plain controlling?

midnightmoon05 · Answer

started out with the system because my kids have the tracking in their phone. one way we found my daughter's phone.

then my boyfriend and I set it up because we had some issues...
now that things are good.
Good thing came out of it, when my car broke down, my boyfriend knew exactly where I was and came to my rescue :)

ZackBan · Answer

I don't need to know the guy to tell yout that it's his insecurity talking.

It's understandable if you are the girl in the picture, any man would worry about a lot of competition.

That being said I don't particularly advocate against sharing locations. A relationship is all about loyalty and trust and these are fine demonstrations that you are willing to be an open book and hi has nothing to fear.

You can demand the same in return of course

SincerelyA · Answer

I have no problem sharing my location with my boyfriend, but we have a good relationship. I only check his location to see if he’s still at work when I want to surprise him with a coffee or something. We are both open about our plans and what we are doing, so I feel no need to track him. It also gives me peace of mind that he has my location, incase something happens to me. Granted I don’t know what he would be able to do about it, but it still makes me feel better 💗

offendedsorbet · Answer

I don't know thinking if my boyfriend asked this I would accept, be a good safety thing but 99% of the time he would see me at work or home

EyebrowChewie · Answer

For what reason?

I know a girl who has social anxiety and only turns on her Snapchat location when she's out clubbing so her boyfriend knows where to find her and that she got home safe to her house.

I wouldn't share my location unless I felt unsafe.

josephinelcajon · Answer

I would suggest saying "what a great idea we can both share both our locations so when I am thinking of you I can see where we are at" If he even hesitates then say "If you love him you trust him. If he loves you he will trust you. "

liburnia · Answer

Where has this world gone to. I just want to ask him where he is, him telling me where he's going or where he is and me believing him. And vice versa. I would never agree to it.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Clearly he doesn't trust you, or thinks you are some kind of damsel who will need to be rescued or some shit. In reality, he probably sees you as "his" and wants to know where "his" woman is at all times. Creepy af either way.

worldscolide · Answer

It seems a bit weird to me. My wife and i text each other when we go to a place and come back more for reassurance that we are safe nothing more. But sharing location is not something we have ever done. It depends on why he wants it and if he wants to share his with you. If he is keeping tabs on you that's no good, but if he is doing it for safety concerns or something similar that's alright i guess.

broken_heart_at_48 · Answer

What's his reasoning for wanting you to share your location? Is he just worried about your safety and are his concerns justified? Or is he trying to be controlling? Is he the jealous type? Jealousy and being controlling are big time warning signs of bad stuff to come.

shinnaeun · Answer

Not really for it and I know my boyfriend isn't either because we need our boundaries and asking for your location is like watching over you 24/7 which can also feel suffocating.

H8INCHES · Answer

I don't share my location with anyone on purpose. My location services stay off unless I'm using them.
It sounds like he doesn't trust you and is trying to stake his claim to you. This a typical reaction when some guys start having feelings for a woman. But he will probably be a possessive guy.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I personally don't mind especially if I go to the shady part of town.  Differs for everyone though.  I wouldn't care about his location unless he was going through a shady area as well.

origamiprince · Answer

I think it's healthy for someone to worry about you when you're out. You may not want to keep them 100% in the loop but it would be nice for him to know you're safe

kimbim · Answer

I once had a girlfriend who was extremely jealous, and she added a GPS location to my phone and she also regularly went through my phone which she could unlock and she checked my credit card stuff.

I personally didn't care, but I know it's a big thing for a lot of people. She told me on like our 3rd date that she was extremely jealous, so I had kinda accepted it up front

People have different feelings about this, and I'd say it's up to you.

JosyJosy · Answer

Why does he want it? Why not his place? The 'sharing' sounds like a leech to me, just the choice of words

thimmslicc · Answer

I did it. He did it.  It makes things much more honest.  But sometimes, it can be the honest truth that can bite you in your ass if he's somewhere he shouldn't be.

gotc147 · Answer

Controlling and toxic, it means he doesn't trust you. Same goes for asking for pictures of where you are.

Levin · Answer

That's more than a little creepy. Deal breaker. With the greatest of respect, your boyfriend is a nutter.

what3ver · Answer

Did you ask him why? My impulse is to think thar sounds creepy and possessive, but then I remembered my wife asked me to share mine with her in case of an emergency.

volleyball_bigirl · Answer

I think it’s a good idea as long as he isn’t controlling or easily jealous it can be a safety net.

Curiousnesshmmm · Answer

Well they relationship isn’t gonna govanywheee. Shows she’s very insecure about herself now if the guy did something in the past to warrent this behavior or is this a new relationship? If it’s a new relationship and he hasn't done anything to make you think he’s cheating then you need some time alone to let wounds heal before you bounce to a new guy. An insecure female is one of the biggest turnoffs, it’s so ugly

KirstyW · Answer

I'd be fine with it, but I don't think he'd ask, unless there was some kind of problem that justified it?

Anonymous · Answer

Unless he shared his too, that's too much. I can understand doing it if you're in a dangerous place maybe but other than that, you're entitled to the same privacy he is

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

Would never ever ever. But it sounds like really controlling, paranoid and possessive behavior... So Those are attractive qualities in men from what I hear, yes?

andreasderjuengere · Answer

For a specific purpose it's a handy tool. But for i. e. permanent tracking the idea is 'over the top'.

JuneLady · Answer

I don't see why not. If you really desire a close relationship, I would highly recommend not having any secrets, and I really mean ANY. If he wants your location, I don't see why not

ct1243 · Answer

Have you ever met this guy and if not how is he your boyfriend? Until you met him and spent time together you’re not really dating. I wouldn’t expose my location either.

EaterPeter · Answer

Please don't. That's border line abusive. If you do it with your own choice that's a different story. Sharing a location on demand sounds controlling behavior. I don't know what was the exact scenario in your case. You want to deny politely. And be consistent. If he becomes hostile towards you he is not the right guy for you.

crmoore · Answer

I'd be fine with it in a very, very, very serious and very-long term relationship. Like if I think she's the love of my life. Otherwise, it seems concerning.

Kabluie · Answer

Not worth it, because you shouldn't have to feel like you are dating a babysitter or another parent.

Mangospacho · Answer

In your case, it’s only fair if he shares his location with you too. I’ve been sharing my location with my wife for years now.

What are your thoughts on sharing your location with your significant other?

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