My boyfriends sister is toxic?

[angel9822]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. He has an older sister who is not a nice person at all. I’ve tolerated her and even tried to be close with her but I’ve had no luck. She acts nice to my face but then will say all the issues she has with me behind my back to my boyfriend. She’s really hurtful and all I’ve tried to do is be nice to her.

I feel like I can’t have her in my life but I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend over it.

What do I do?

[crazyish]

She's an older sister. They can be overprotective. In her mind, no one will ever be good enough for her brother. And depending on her own issues and faults are, she might be comparing how she is in relationships and think you will be the same. Anytime anyone has a problem with someone especially if they have done nothing personally to them is really them projecting their own faults and problems. I don't believe it's personally against you as a person. My advice is to talk to her about it. Straight up ask her if she has a problem with you. If you want to stay with your boyfriend that would be your best bet. See what she says and take it from there. Respect is earned and being an adult by asking her will show her that you respect her and your relationship with her brother. If she's the total opposite and is a bitch then yeah she's toxic and there is just no reasoning with toxic people.

[yucychan]

I think you need to be clear on what you want.
In the end, you are having a relationship with your boyfriend, not with his sis. Your boyfriend and you do not have to seek her permission to be together.
As long as you are in the right and you have tried your very best to be cordial to her, there's nothing much you can do.
His sis can be mean to you all she wants, it's on her. That's her issue.
And if your boyfriend prefers to believe in her garbage than standing up for you, then it's on him. At least now you know where he stands.
To me, any guy that cannot stand up for his girlfriend when she's being wrong and maligned by others is useless.

[Emily1101]

What does your boyfriend says about it?