Have you ever had a crush on someone else while in a relationship?

[Eldoradο]

You can answer anonymously for sure.

[zeitgeist057]

Absolutely, and I think if people are honest, there's going to be a lot of "yes" answers.

People seem to think or act like if you have a relationship with someone, all of a sudden part of your brain turns off and you're no longer attracted to other people. I believe some people can force themselves to be like this or more or less "close their eyes" to the rest of the world, but most people don't.

I have crushes all the time. I was just walking back from class just now and I had a date with a woman I like this morning but I also think a woman in my class is cute, and there was another woman who I started thinking about who I had a crush on last semester but haven't seen since.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yep, I dated a girl but had a huge crush on her sister.

I personally think at some level, I simply dated her so I could see the sister more.

was not a conscious decision but I think it played a part.

I did later date her sister lol.

[Eldoradο]

Lol, thanks for your reply

[Rob17792]

that's fucked up

[ChrisMaster69]

@Rob17792 how?

There was a gap of almost 4 years between dating each.

In the scheme of the fucked up things in life, it’s incredibly mild

[Rob17792]

whatever helps you sleep at night

[ChrisMaster69]

@Rob17792 considering how long this is ago, And the really fucked up stuff I have done since that’s simply hysterical

[Rob17792]

if you say so

[zeitgeist057]

I agree, totally NOT fucked up at all, and makes a lot of sense. If you like a girl, her sister is going to be similar to her and perhaps you like the sister as well. Or even the mom. People have this really weird idea that it's fucked up to like someone that is close to someone you like. When in fact it makes more sense than liking totally different people. Another example is liking your friend's partner. If you are friends with someone you share values, ideas, etc. So it makes sense you share attractions and find the same people attractive. But our culture of monogamy, possessiveness, and jealousy is what is actually fucked up and creates this illogical reaction.

[meggykentums]

Yes, big time. I have had to warn people before starting relationships that I am 100% capable of being monogamous but they should know I can still catch feelings.

If they cannot handle that, and if they do not trust me, then we do not go forward with the relationship.

[Rob17792]

ok pinocchio whatever you say

[jennifer_bloom]

I would not describe it as a crush but I had feelings for somebody else while I was taken but I told the guy I was not interested so there was no cheating

[clampfan101]

Only very low key ones. Nothing like “I want to be in a relationship with her, too!”.
Then again the low key ones were either on my kindergarten teacher or various girls from anime and video games. lol (I brought up my kindergarten teacher because kindergarten was where I fell in genuine love. The only time so far...)
The Sad Love Story that is My Life ↗

[shalt]

Lol April fools? That's like saying you loved your babysitter, it doesn't work like that

[clampfan101]

@shalt You’ve never heard of a kid having a crush on a teacher?

[shalt]

Absolutely, puppy love? You betcha. Genuine love? Not a chance

[clampfan101]

@shalt Ya, puppy love. The first two sentences of what I wrote explains it was puppy love for her.

[t-8900]

I pretty much lose interest in other women a little while into a relationship. Maybe its just me or maybe I'm choosing not to have those thoughts by choice unconsciously since I see so many guys in the comment section always saying the opposite of me. Or maybe I'm just weird. Tbh I don't know.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I have. I got over it and I didn't act on it either.

[Eldoradο]

queen of getting over it

[just_a_potato]

Well yeah if I see a pretty girl or a handsome guy I let myself acknowledge I'm sexually attracted to them. Crushes don't affect my relationship or how I feel about my boyfriend, so I don't see the harm.

[Anonymous]

Only once, and then it was because I was super unhappy in my relationship. I realized that being so drawn to someone else meant it was time to end my relationship. If I was happy, I wouldn't have any interest in anyone else.

[TacosRAwesome]

Yes. Too many people while I was with my first ex. A few with my second and annoyingly too little with my current.

[beldath]

Almost everyone has. Hense cheaters, or people that aren't single for more than a few days.

[Caliguy88]

Kind of, but not really... been sexually attracted to people for sure but that’s it and no actions taken...

[shalt]

My girlfriends younger sister, then it happened in her parents house. Weird time. Keep it in your pants

[Rob17792]

dude wtf? that's fucked up

[shalt]

Meant to say ex. Yeah it's weird I still kick it with their dad, he lived in a house with7 women at one point. Poor guy

[collie22]

that happens, i just pretend in my head and bit my lip

[loveslongnails]

LOL. No anonymity needed - I have one every day ! LOL

[Maspolomas]

Yes I have I’m in a relationship now and I look for

[SavageGirl101]

Nope cause I’m not a weirdo

[zeitgeist057]

if "weirdo" means opposite of a normal/average person, then you are a weirdo. Because the average person does have crushes.

[SavageGirl101]

If u are in a relationship and have a crush on someone else u shouldn’t be in a relationship 💀

[zeitgeist057]

That's very loyal and monogamous of you. But I think it's okay to love more than one person since an open heart is a beautiful thing, and a crush isn't even actual love, it's just creating a fantasy around someone.

But I get how you're thinking and it's very sweet.

[SavageGirl101]

If u wanna “love more than one person” don’t be in a relationship and stay single💀🤚

[zeitgeist057]

I think we are defining "relationship" differently. I am both single and involved in various relationships. I have platonic relationships, like with my siblings, friends, or other family. But I also have romantic relationships with lovers with whom I have shared more intimate connections, sexual energy, and feel a bond with. Not a possessive ownership bond like monogamous people, which ties you down and makes you their property, but a bond that connects two people who are free to act as they choose, and what they choose is to love each other.

[SavageGirl101]

Like I said if u wanna love multiple people romantically stay single it’s not rocket science 😜

[zeitgeist057]

Not rocket science, it's semantics. I'm explaining that being in a relationship doesn't have to mean being "single" vs. "taken". Relationships are all around us and happen with or without the labels.

[SavageGirl101]

A relationship is literally when you’re taken and u only have eyes for that one person so just stay single dude

[zeitgeist057]

"Literally" literally means this: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/literally
and
"Relationship" literally means this: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/relationship

as you can see, it has nothing to do with "being taken and only have eyes for one person"
that is more accurately described here:
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/obsession

[SavageGirl101]

Like I saiddddd whether u agree or not doesn’t really matter a relationship is when you’re taken and have eyes for only that one person 😌💅

[zeitgeist057]

It doesn't matter if you agree with the dictionary or not, you can make up your own definitions for words but the point is it's not accurate. I totally get what you see a relationship as and that you are unable to see beyond your own limited perspective, but there is a bigger world out there is all I'm trying to show you. But stay where you are for now, there's still plenty of time to grow and learn about the potential and beauty of love that is so far beyond these limited ideas.

[zeitgeist057]

We all are where we are at for a reason, and the lessons appear when the student is ready <3

[SavageGirl101]

Realtionship= you are taken and you’re eyes are for that one person🥰 soooo you’re points are flawed it’s kinda funny actually

[zeitgeist057]

You're the funny one lol. I literally gave you a link to a dictionary definition. You know? The big book that has the meaning of words in it? And you're still like, no, the dictionary is wrong, you're wrong. It doesn't mean what the dictionary says it means. When that is literally the entire point and purpose of the dictionary, to record clearly and precisely the meaning of words. LOL But as I said, it's all good. I was once similar to you and thought very narrowly that the way I saw the world was the only possible way for the world to be. Many people never grow out of that, and that's okay as well. Like I said, we all are at where we need to be. For me, I am content to challenge the boundaries of your personal definitions and continue to have multiple meaningful and fulfilling relationships without the baggage of possessiveness.

[zeitgeist057]

it is cute, though :)

[loves2learn]

@zeitgeist057 is polyamory your jam?

[SavageGirl101]

I think he’s polygamy that’s why he keeps arguing even tho his whole argument is sooooo off

[zeitgeist057]

Take it up with dictionary. com I didn't write the dictionary. Nor do I argue or oppose you having your own personal definitions for things that are out of alignment with the dictionary. My only "argument" is that I can and do have a life that goes beyond your limited definitions. How you can believe that is refuted by repeating an incorrect definition of "relationship" is amusing. You can insist your perspective is the only one in existence, that's somewhat of a problematic stance, but if it's where you are and your current level of understanding, I accept that. You can refuse to accept reality, many people do.

@loves2learn I've learned about, and taken the lessons from polyamory that work for me. I wouldn't pigeonhole myself into a specific "jam" as I feel humans are dynamic beings in constant change, but there are definitely some excellent concepts in some of those practices. I actually had this really incredible conversation a couple nights ago about how so much of life is illusion, and we pick and choose what we want to glom onto. Which can be for a moment, or a lifetime, depending on how we work the magic.

[SavageGirl101]

Ahhhh so u areeee polygamy @loves2learn you were right sis that’s why he was saying all that bullshit😂 he doesn’t know the first thing about commitment

[zeitgeist057]

oh I see you get abusive and bully when you start to realize the holes in your statements. Ok, well good luck then!

[SavageGirl101]

Awww not u calling me abusive and a bully cause you’re wrong🥺u want a tissue bby

[loves2learn]

@zeitgeist057 hmm. I guess I can accept that if all the consenting adults are in agreement. Just not my cup of tea.

[zeitgeist057]

@loves2learn I think "consenting adults in agreement" should be a prerequisite no matter what kind of relationship you are in lol. Otherwise it's a bit rapey, no? XD

[zeitgeist057]

@loves2learn but yeah, it's not common or mainstream or for most people.

[loves2learn]

@zeitgeist057 indeed

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am going through that right now.

[Backtothe80snow]

I'm pretty sure everyone has

[Waldoe]

yes, I have, and it's never worked out well...

[Rob17792]

gee i couldn't possibly guess why

[Waldoe]

@Rob17792 lol, obvious huh?

[Rob17792]

just a tad

[Anonymous]

Yees ,, I have crushed on my boss's wife

[Eldoradο]

Damn

[Rob17792]

that's fucked up dude

[itzzzzniya]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Never in relationship

[COMMODOREII]

Yeah all the time.

[Kelly6]

Many times

[eagle1951]

yeah

[Yellovv]

Yes, I like girls..

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks Eldo!