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Why Do You Think Marriage/Couples Counseling Works For Some Relationships And Not For Others? (Page 2)
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59Opinion
Some relationships never should have been.
Others are too broken to fix. Example: when a chick says something horrible about your parents, race, religion. Words that can’t be taken back. Belive me.. There are words that will destroy a relationship. Even if they get back together, it will always remain in the back of your mind.
It works for some , because of children, miss understanding’s, not taking it out , jealousy over nothing. Some people have jealousy’s that they can’t control...
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For marriage counseling to be effective, the couple needs to be reasonably open minded, and willing to change to make the marriage better. If these are lacking during the counseling, then the counseling has little chance of success.
Agree💯
Everyone is different. Some relationships can be helped, others not so much. My (now ex) wife went for a while.. I hated the therapist... always was on the wife's side... it was like I wasn't allowed to share my feelings... sucked... failed miserably.
Sorry to hear that 💛
it's all right.. I'm in a happy relationship now.
That's great!!👍
Most therapists are anti men the one I had was an effeminate idiots I told them you're dragging me here just so you can milk Medicaid aren't you instead of me leaving usually he finally left the room he also kept blackmailing me about a referral letter that I need after that he gave in and I never went back he was a Christian counselor yeah okay funny thing was he was my counselor first he immediately went to the wife side immediately once she shows up therapy is based on trust you violate that you are nothing! It's also dangerous when you walk out of the therapy session angrier then went in with that means somebody is going to get it when they get home.
Investment. Both parties needs to believe in the process, be invested and fully participate. The second one thinks the other one isn’t contributing the same, the process goes downhill.
Very true
It’s like that last epigram says, “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” That is spot-on. If a marriage is like that, you don’t need a marriage counselor.
So that’s the root of the answer. One or both partners are ready to give up on the marriage, so saving it hinges on changing their minds.
If one has a hidden agenda and wants to appear to do the right thing but actually wants out, it’s going to fail regardless. Same if neither are going to change their opposite positions. One would hope a counselor has the tools to get the pair to swallow their pride, but some people are too stubborn for that. They might also be fighting about a deeply held conviction or incompatibility that should have been resolved before the marriage began.
If one person is serious about the relationship and about the vows they took and the other is not, no amount of counseling will fix it. That's why infidelity is usually a death sentence. It's a stark example of an uncommitted partner. If the other person wants out, it's just a matter of time. There is no magical realization that will make that person suddenly want to be there.
People only like romantic love, eros. They want nothing to do with agape. Duty, responsibility, commitment are just not valued anymore.
Why do you ask so many questions? Are you genuinely curious or do you just like to stir people up and get a reaction?
I think one of the biggest reasons it doesn't work is one of the two don't want to be there, and end up never buying in.
I agree!!
Could be a difference in core values or one of the two people really don’t want it to work. Also I feel some people are cheating and the other spouse may never be able to get over it, I would have a hard time myself.
May be right there
Simple there are some issues that can't be patch by throwing something over it. Some cracks are just to hard to fill.
Example you wouldn't put a plaster over a cut fallopain tube and expect it to hold.
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Some times one or both persons don't really want tit to work. They have simply given up. Other tomes it's just a lousy counselor or therapist. I had one of the later at one point in my life.
I agree! Not all counselors are good at their job
People not willing to fully commit to the process, or starting too late, if you've crossed the tipping point it may not be possible to get it back.
That's true
Probably because of how badly the marriage has deteriorated and how much the couple really want to save the marriage
Very true
Some things are just not able to be saved. There's only what you can do.
if you're broke, you can make more money 💵. if he, she, it is broke, then he, she, it can make more money 💵.
but if you, he, she, it cheated, then you, he, she, it can't change history.
if you get abused, beaten, threatened and so on, it's not a you problem anymore unless you keep staying in there.
It works for people who want it to work, presuming the counselor is a good one. Some people are just ready to move on and it's a waste of time and money, or they truly believe it's all their spouse's fault and they are blameless.
I would agree. It's not enough to seek counseling, especially if only one partner wants the counseling and the other is going but doesn't really want to... Same as for addicts forced to go to drive treatment versus those that really want the help
*drug not drive 🙈
It works when both parties want to make it work. If it's only one sided and one is not willing to step up then therapy fails.
Agree💯
Maybe some relationships are not worth fixing and it is time to move on. That or one or both don't want to work on it.
That's true
Because some are already decided before the counseling even starts.
Right! Some people wait too long. And also, some people think just going to counseling fixes things. But if you're not putting in any effort to actually listen, try different things it's a waste of time and money
It works for some because they have determination to make it work and not afraid to put in the effort.
Exactly!
Sometimes all they need to know is if you like Pina Coladas...
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Cause people have different problems also it depends on the people involed and how badly they want it to work and what there willing to do to make it work
Great answer!! So true 💯
Thanks beautiful
Haha if you saw me right now, you wouldn't think that. Hell, I walked past the mirror and I got scared 😱 lol