Do you think couples should attend counseling before getting married?

[coachTanthony]

Yes preparation is key why wait until there are problems

No let it ride

See Poll ( Coach will you be my counselor?)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Absolutely they should... Some churches/pastors require this before they'll marry you or at least they did the first time I got married 2 months before my 19th birthday...

[coachTanthony]

Yeah Churches actually do have really good resources if your religious and take a advantage of it!
1

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'm not really all that religious lol
It was a requirement of the pastor for him to marry us.

[Anonymous]

In 2022+, yesssss! We've all been through hell these past 2 years and it's affected ourselves and the world in immeasurable ways. We're starting from this place of difficulty in the world, and then add to that a new marriage where a couple may not have even begun to think about what all that entails....sign them up immediately! Marriages crumble because couples don't ever talk about what actually matters or work on effective communication. Sure your future spouse is hot and seems nice, but do they know you really don't want kids ever....does your future spouse know about your debt or how you intend to split your funds once married....is family always going to come first for them...is sex a top priority...all the things. Counseling won't help or solve every issue, but it at least puts the seeds for success into a couple that they may need to unlock at a later date.

[HighValue]

Not unless they aren't very intelligent. Most of counseling's goals (from the couple's point of view) is often for one person to "win" by the "professional" taking their side.

I'd suggest they read a book together instead that offers advice on things to consider before living with someone or getting married, that way the book wouldn't be interactive and wouldn't take anyone's side. A book would only be for advice/insight, which could be helpful.

[OlderAndWiser]

In Florida, after a marriage license is issued, there is a three day waiting period before you can be married, unless you completed a pre-marital counselling course.

[coachTanthony]

Wow that is cool.

[OlderAndWiser]

We do some things right, like this and covid-19.

[lilyanony1]

Personally if you are engaged and you've got issues that have come up.
For example maybe during the wedding arranging there's been a conflict maybe a over opinionated mother in law.
I say go to counselling to address how you can both work as a team to get it resolved.
Other than that I'm not really sure why you'd need to do so.

Be open to it, definitely.

[NathanDavis]

hell no... never

if you have to be coached by a third party... it will not be a genuine, healthy and personal relationship, it is just going to be an artificial arrangement of things

an stranger should have no say on what is best for you, your partner or your relationship... and if you´re in the unfortunate position of needing to be told and coached on how to have a good relationship, then you´re definitely not ready for marriage... lol

[coachTanthony]

Exactly because we are all born with that knowledge. lol

[NathanDavis]

most of us anyway... are born with the ability to learn on the way, which is something you should strive for

and by learning and experiencing is that you become genuinely capable, over time...

or are you going to tell me that... anyone and everyone that pays you who knows how many thousands of dollars and after three or four video calls, they are FOR SURE going to have a successful life or marriage?

sure, that's how life works...

[coachTanthony]

I am not a relationship coach so no that would never happen. Many churches already do premarital counseling so I think the benefit out ways the tough guy attitude you have of not needing help. Just my opinion and I thank you for yours.

[NathanDavis]

I do not need counseling that is for sure... certainly not from the church of men

and that is not because I am tough... it is because I am sensible and also capable on my own

and that comes from experience, not out of the blue

and you are still a coach, and you see this as money and business... and you clearly have an issue with anybody who does not need counseling because that is not convenient to you... you just cannot get any money out of them

[NathanDavis]

@coachTanthony which by the way... is the same reason why the church makes you go to counseling and some other things, to charge you money, they certainly do not do it for free...

[coachTanthony]

LOL people can do what they want. The divorce rate shows people don't know what the fuck they are doing. More people should go before marriage and learn a few things... not everyone but I would say most.

In my experience the people who say they don't need counseling need it the most lol

[NathanDavis]

exactly... people can do whatever they want, but that does not make it right... does it? stupid people do all kinds of stupid things all the time and that is besides the point, that is no argument

now, when you are talking about divorce rates... you are talking about statistics, and I am sure you are looking into ones that come from marketing and targeted/sponsored studies, which are easy to manipulate, even though... divorce is not guaranteed to not happen, if you first paid thousands for counseling

so I will ask you this question a second time because the first time you dodged it conveniently... can you guarantee and assure that once a person, or a couple has paid thousands of dollars for counseling they will NOT end up divorced, or they will ALWAYS find a great relationship and be able too keep it? can you assure and guarantee this... I really doubt it

counseling is not better than actual experience, that is for sure... being told what to do and how to do things will never ever replace actual experience that comes from you and comes from within, this I say it on the broader, general aspect of things, of course

as for the last thing you said, that is the dumbest thing to say... because in your personal experience you are dealing with people that are already in need, or you tell me... why would people who are already in healthy and ongoing relationships, ever come to you for counseling on how to date or whatever it is that you coach? that is just nonsense remarks to throw around

[coachTanthony]

You obviously have never been to counseling so this is a dumb argument. You aren't told what to do in counseling. This is obviously YOU assuming what goes on and of course you don't know. Your ignorance on the matter is shining through. Counseling can give you tools of communication and guidance. It's up to you to do the work and apply it. No counseling is ever guaranteed Nothing in life is guaranteed doesn't mean it won't help.

Thanks for the comments. This is now giving me a headache.

[NathanDavis]

there you go... if you do NOT have the proper capabilities to have a communication and have your own guidelines, then you should not be marrying yet... and thinking that you just can buy them for thousands of dollars and from a stranger is the worst idea ever

[NathanDavis]

and there you go, number two... you cannot guarantee anything with your counseling

so yeah... it will be most likely to fail with the people that are not capable or have no experience

you're just shining more light and clarity on the points I stated first... good job

[coachTanthony]

LOL awesome thanks

[NathanDavis]

any time, no worries... and free or charge, as well

[ArrowheadSW]

Yes! I think it is a great idea. I have recommended this to friends before. It helps the couple figure out how to handle issues before they arise.

[Daniela1982]

Since most divorces occur in the first 5 years, it is better to be proactive than wait until problems arise. After all, communication is key to the success of a good marriage.

[KatherineJ]

I think it is important to go into marriage with REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS! Counseling can and does help with that. A lot of times, marriages fail because people think that a marriage is easy. It is NOT! It takes WORK and COMMUNICATION! A great marriage doesn’t just happen magically.

[DizzyDesii]

No. I feel a lot of third parties seek out issues. Like they try to make a problem when there is none by bringing certain things to light or they try to add fire to the fuel. A lot of counselors are likely single so i wouldn't trust their opinion as much anyways. If i choose to marry someone, its because i care about what we think about eachother, not what a third party thinks of us. Yes sometimes people may need temporary advice from others but not full on counseling

[EmmaMary]

No absolutely not.

What useful purpose would this serve?

Or to put it another way, neither my husband or I most certainly didn't need any form of "counselling" or whatever.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I don't think it's something they 'should' do.
However, I do think it's something many could benefit from. The counselor could also help with the questions that might be good to talk about that you might not have considered.

[Emilyis]

NO! I think you should learn to live with one another after marriage. you may need thearopy after you are married. LOL

[GrantArmstrong]

My wife and I did. We found someone through the Humanist Association who was very helpful.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I don't think it would hurt to do so.

[Vick2828]

Counseling is for troubled relationships. Not good one’s.

[SolitarySolace]

That'd probably be the smartest thing to do.

[CountryWanderer]

Yes, it's a good idea

[itsalyssaagain]

I think you’re complicating things.

[Guardian45]

It's probably an excellent idea

[Nidal_AA]

Not at all

[TX651]

Probably wouldn't be a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

No. During