Should couples who are not yet married try couples therapy?

Question

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

It's interesting how many people feel therapy is to fix problems. If you view your auto mechanic the same way, you'll end up going broke. Sure, you can buy a new car every time your car runs out of gas, but does that truly make sense?

Premarital therapy is a great opportunity for people to learn basic skills that will enable them to avoid future problems. They can learn how to create and nurture a healthy relationship together. People see the value of education when it comes to a career, but how often do you hear people talk about the value of education when it comes to relationships and parenting? We're taught certain things come natural, and we don't need to learn them... how to communicate (you've already been doing it most of your life); how to have sex; how to have a relationship; how to be a parent. Obviously, you were an expert the first time you attempted any of these things. It's the "Emperor's New Clothes" approach. Not willing to acknowledge our own lack of knowledge, we tell people it just comes natural. When it doesn't come natural, you figure something must be wrong with you. We can't admit something is wrong with us, so we pretend we know what we're doing... just like everyone else pretends they know what they are doing. We become a reaction to how we were raised and figure "If it's meant to be, it will be." If it isn't, it must be the other person's fault.

I can't tell you how many people have told me they already know how to communicate. Many women say they are great communicators, but their partner is lousy and needs to learn. Generally, what we discover is the women are just as bad as the men... they just talk all the time. Most people have no idea what the difference is between talking and communicating. After their eyes are opened following learning effective communication skills, people question the reason schools don't bother to teach everyone these simple basic skills.

If you are a believer in "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," and are already an expert at everything, then premarital therapy would be a waste of time for you. After all, you already have all the answers. If you want to raise your odds of having a quality, meaningful, deep connection with a partner, then premarital therapy is an amazing tool. Just make sure you find a therapist you truly connect with, and avoid those who are pushing their agenda onto you. Keep looking till you find the right fit, and you'll truly appreciate the insight you'll acquire. Remember, it's what works best for the two of you, not what you should or shouldn't do to mold yourself into society's idealized clone.

20yearsolder · Accepted Answer

Not unless they're already having issues, if they're having issues they should probably second guess whether to get married or not

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

yes! All couples who are seriously considering should go to a a coyotes therapist, if at least for premarital counseling when they start seeing forever with someone.

We (should lol) go to the doctor, dentist, or bring our car to the shop once or twice a year because MAINTENANCE.

When it works great, then of course you don't need anyone snoopijg around, but when it starts NOT WORKING you should always have someone on call to help you get it working again. .

For pre-married couples thinking about marriage, pre-marital counseling is valid and will help you understand what the 'sore points' are and in general how to treat your partner better because it won't always be perfect and we can anticipate some problems BEFORE they happen.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

No. If you are having problems and you aren't even married yet you just need to go find someone who is a better fit for you.

EaterPeter · Answer

That's a great way to start in my opinion. They will be saving pain to the world

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Yeah! It's actually one of the recommended steps before getting married to make sure that the couple is healthy and communicating properly.

RasmusAiken · Answer

If there are recurring issues then YES. BC after marriage issues become, well, bigger issues.

krin_m · Answer

If they need it and they intend to stay together, sure!

BJP21 · Answer

Wouldn't be a bad idea, things boiled over in my past relationship. My Brother did it with his wife and it saved his marriage.

Jennz6 · Answer

Sure, they can be a couple and not be married

Hardworkingguy · Answer

Sure. By the time you get married it's too late. So why not try to fix the problem before tying the knot?

threefournine · Answer

yea. problems start even before being married

Jamie05rhs · Answer

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

pizzalovershouse · Answer

If they have problems yes

Kelly6 · Answer

Sure

Should couples who are not yet married try couples therapy?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should couples who are not yet married try couples therapy?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.