Do you think that a woman over 35 can still find a good husband?

Question

In your opinion, is it possible for a woman over 35 to find a good man with whom to spend the rest of her life? According to many people - no, for a number of reasons - because most good men at this age have long been busy, because women at this age already have lower fertility, because women after this age are simply unattractive, or there are certain prejudices against them - for example, that if at that age she has not been able to find a husband, this is probably due to problems in her character. What do you think?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Yes I absolutely do think a woman over 35 can still find a good husband.

What you have here is a bunch of young guys looking at women over 35 (and possibly some arguments spread by some not-so-young guys too... but they are idiots with some unresolved issues).

But I really think that this is just an age thing on your part.

I think that this might have actually have been something I would have been able to relate to when I was in my eary 20's BECAUSE I was in my early 20's.

This sounds like reasons a 23 year old guy might not go for 35 year old women when looking for a wife. It is also based on a fundamental misunderstanding of what 35 is like. You'll see what I mean when you get there.

So I read this now, as a single guy who is 36 years old this just makes me shake my head and laugh at how wrong and misguided it is.

I mean the first problem here, is that aside from the fertility thing, ALL of those prejudices and assumptions apply equally to men over 35.

So if we exclude fertility for a minute, this question really is "Do you think people over 35 can still find love (marriage)"?

Which... is going to be a "yes" definitely.

So being that age and single, IS definitely different than being single in your early 20's. It is a different time of life for sure, and I am definitely not looking women my age who are single through the eyes of myself in my 20s.

The biggest difference (and this applies to men and women equally) is that there are few women single and over 35 who "have not been able to find a husband". People tend to be single at that age because they have either been married, or have had some relationship that was a marriage in all but name... and "yadda yadda yadda"... now they're single again... and they're a little more world weary. As am I.

That's not a bad thing insofar as... nearly everyone is in a similar boat of THINKING they were setting up their life with someone, only to find themselves single in their 30's. So it's really not the "leftovers" who weren't able to snag somebody. It's all those people you hear about who get divorced basically. In 10 years, you will have several among your friends. These people simply thought they had the right person for them, and were mistaken, and are hoping to give it another try and do it right this time.

The fertility thing is true of course, and I guess that depends on whether a guy is looking to start a family. Many of the guys who are single at that age already have kids, or are just fine not having any. I guess there probably are some guys over 35 who would still be thrown off by the fertility thing.

I will say that the biological clock ticking is a real thing for women. Often women that age who want a family put a lot of pressure on themselves and then the guy they become involved with... to be serious about things, get married (if that's important to her), and get to being pregnant. THAT is definitely real. But it's not usually the guys who have a problem with the decline in fertility around that age.

So dude. I want you to remember this. This post. Burn this into your mind. And even if you're not single when you're 35... see if you feel the same way when you think about the arguments you bring up here.

This is more like a caricature of a single woman at 35. There's no (upper!) age limit on finding love.

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

Im 35, single, I'm told I'm very attractive, talented, intelligent, and have a heart of gold, the type of guy who actually cares about monogamous commitment, love, and making my spouse happy.

I didn't say any that to brag (I don't care about opinions that much), but rather to point out that I have seen a lot women in their 30s that I found to be gorgeous, but I've never told any of them that I found them attractive because they were strangers, I knew nothing about them aside from looks, age and location, and I'm too picky when it comes to personality to be interested in a stranger. I also don't want kids so her biological clock is moot to me, in fact sterility is a huge plus.

Lots of guys like this exist by the way.

So yes, but these women are going to have to stop expecting guys to make the first move, actually start filling out dating profiles with copious amounts of completely honest details about their interests, views, goals, aspirations, hobbies, quirks, and fetishes, and send guys that might be a good match a message without worrying about rejection.

The guys who make the first move have either long since nabbed a woman already, or they are jerks who can't keep one.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

Not accurate my cousin he is 27 and he is recently happy married to his wife she is 44 . Not sure why you would assume 35 year old woman are unattractive my cousins wife she looks great and young for her age. I mean she looks a lot more younger. I have have friends that are in their 30's and people always assume they are 19 , early 20's. Eating healthy working out drinking a lot of water. Believe or not I have met 35 year olds that look a lot more younger and healthy compare to some 19 year olds.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Ok, anon, you and your prejudices presuppose that only females are washed up leftovers after 35?
Get over yourself. There are countless reasons why people are single.
I doubt your 'market value' is so high, yourself, if you are not even willing to put your name to this.

Apope16 · Answer

Absoultely but she has to look about 10 years older than her. So a 35 year old woman should be looking at mature and attractive men around 45 to 50 years old.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Of course she can. I'm available! :) :) :)

Bellatris · Answer

This may come as a shock to you, but there are many people out there in the real world who just don't care whether a potential partner is "fertile", because, you know - THEY DON'T WANT CHILDREN ANYWAY!
God, what century are you from? The thirteenth?

Screenwriter · Answer

There are fewer men available, that's true. And if she wishes to have children, if she meets a man who already HAS children, he might not want any more. So there's that issue.
But if children aren't an issue and it's only about having a great life together, there's no block to having a good marriage whether it's the first time around or the second or third.
Everyone's not young, everyone doesn't want kids, and with second marriages most people have already done the parent thing and it's not important. If later in life, it's all about what you can give to each other, help to your grown children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends and fixing the world.

Alpha09 · Answer

Yes. However it may be more difficult depending on your situation and who you are trying to date. If it's a single father or an older single man then the chances are higher. My mom has a friend who lost her husband to cancer, with two children and she got married recently. The guy has a daughter of his own. So it's most definitely possible and people do it all the time, most of us don't stop wanting intimacy and someone else's company after 35. It just may be a bit more challenging, especially if you have children.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Yeah they can, as long as they’re able to be realistic and open minded.

The average woman over 35 with no kids can still go out and hunt like everyone else. She has to understand what she has going for her in terms of strengths and understanding AND working on her weaknesses too.

In terms of dating pool, find a partner who has their lives together and not difficult to deal with. Usually they would date someone around their age and possibly older. I would also encourage them to look into younger yet mature men so like 30 or something.

It’s a matter of what they want in a relationship and the current situation

Anonymous · Answer

Already have lower fertility, because women after this age are simply unattractive, or there are certain prejudices against them

My mother had her first kid when 36. There are eight of us. Not one health or mental disability issue. All educated.

I'm 34. A year off from being 35. I still get IDed for lotto tickets and liquor.

The only prejudices come from boys who believe that women are only good for sex & staying at home. Real men would prefer to have a partner who can, at least, keep up.

msbrightness · Answer

Most certainly,

Over 35 is just not the time to be an iPrincess, or to declare you are looking for a husband but then mistreat a man.
A good (or even decent) looking over 35 that has her life together, so - can afford to be playful and can manage household expenses/do part of the chores or organise professionals to do it - I could not find faults in.

There would, as un any relationship aiming for longevity, need to be plans for the future that match (children, jobs/career/business, property, travel, external relationships) and playfulness and honesty.

If the said over 35 still demanded she get paid to be a wife, or get financed to pursue hobbies, travel the globe business class etc - because in her 20s she was a go-anywhere prostitute - well, that would be a deal breaker.

fefe79 · Answer

Sooooo im 42 and just married after covid. I waited because I had a choice like any women who is sure of herself. The most curious question that I have is im 42, I work out daily and take very well care of myself. Actually come to think of it a women's sex drive increases at this time. Older men loose testosterone, and omg sex drive where? I feel this myth is just another way for men to feel less shameful of their impending doom of mid life crisis and half erections. My husband is 38 I retired at 37 and we are both small business owners. I am very satisfied emotionally and
In other ways as well.

So the insult is mostly just a deflection that's why it was worded that way. Lololol honey it's 2021 what decade are you in. It's rhetorical don't answer, the maturity in me obviously see's through the bs.

silvermoon84 · Answer

Yes it’s very possible. I’m single and about to turn 37, and most of my friends didn’t even meet their husbands until after age 35. The most recent one is getting married in December and she’s 39. Fertility is the main problem as it tanks after 35. It’s still possible to get pregnant at our age and very common, but it gets risky. I think the guys who have issues with us are the ones who want large families.

AmeerX · Answer

Your fears are correct but I think you will have to lower your standards in concerns to achievement and you shouldn't make the person feel you are high maintenance.
I hope you are virgin at this age because many girls have really been sleeping around for this long.
And try to make your man feel comfortable with you. Don't make yourself look desperate. And better yet try online dating. There are tons of guys who say they want a girl for marriage but choose one who is not asking for naked pics etc and is open to question of marriage.
I think interpals is a good site for this purpose

Anonymous · Answer

I got married to and had children with the best relationship I've ever had at 40. By contrast in my mid 20s I divorced a man who I had to get a restraining order against to protect me and my two daughters.
Obviously it's more ideal to find the right person earlier on. However, just because it doesn't happen early doesn't mean you should give up on happening at all. I am living proof of that.

mk200195 · Answer

Yes!!! Plenty, some have found the love of their lives 40 to 90, only the young can think you can't find love after 35, you never stop loving, you should never ever stop living. Two women I know met the love of their lives in their fifties, the actress Judy French met her new husband at 80 I could go on!! The answer is a resounding YES!

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

You know, sometimes good men end up with not so mature women, and then they end up divorced, back in the dating game as slightly less confident, but equally good minded version of themselves, looking for a mature woman in her mid 30s, who never settled for a mediocre relationship.

Lets stop age shaming women (and men) for doing things with their lives outside of getting married.

MCheetah · Answer

Not a hard rule, but generally "She can only find a not very-good-man." With the exception that she's not a widow or doesn't have kids. There's still some small hope if she's a widow or childless. "She can still find a good husband, but difficult." Otherwise, forget about it!

kidvid80 · Answer

there are so many reason one one can be single there is so many factors from trauma to disinterest, some people haven't found the one yet, look at Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnsons relationship she was 23 years older then him when they met her being 42 him being 19 and been married for over a decade, you just never know when it can happen.

unkissme · Answer

For all the reasons you listed, I believe it’s pretty hard to find a husband but I wouldn’t say impossible. It’s just not likely and the older one gets the more likely they settle. I know quite a few people who have married because they’re “getting up there” and they are not happily married. If love is going to find you, it will find you no matter what age.

zed-789 · Answer

Yes I think she can. The only reason men care about age is because most don’t want to be with somebody that looks old. Men will always love youth. As long as u look good, can be the right amount of exciting, loving and mature. U can get a man. My aunt had been with her husband for the past 7 years, he has no idea she’s 3 years older than him. He’s 50 and she’s 53. He thinks she’s 45. She takes really good care of herself.

Thedivinechic · Answer

Definitely. Women are mature and know what they want at this age. They are not playing games with your heart or your mind. In your 30s you can still find a guy in his 50s that wants to settle down too. There literally is no specific age for marriage. Do people watch 90 day fiance? These are couples from every walk of life. Literally.

HawkPerception · Answer

You can find love and a lasting relationship at any age. There are so many factors at play in a person's attraction towards you and most of it is in personality. Hell... if I found a 40 year old woman I find attractive with a good personality, I'd definitely date them. Age is a non-factor to me unless you're talking about kids that haven't hit puberty. I think the minimum I age I'd actually date is probably 19 currently.

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