If Texting Causes So Many Misunderstandings, Why Do Some People Still Use That As The Main Form Of Communication In Their Relationships?

Question

Misunderstandings are common: Important non-verbal communication such as body language, facial expressions and voice tone are left out of the texting conversation. ... Without hearing the tone of voice and seeing the expressions and body language, you may not catch what the true meaning of the text is.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Texting is a horrible way to communicate. It's convenient for simple information like my wife asking me if I can pick up some milk on the way home, or her telling me that she just got off work. A person can send a photo with an explanation.

But I DO NOT understand the idea of carrying on conversations via text. If you have time for that, you have time to make a call, unless you're a kid living at home and you're silently texting your friend in the middle of the night when you're supposed to be asleep.

If you are texting because you are multitasking with other things at the same time, then you aren't interested in devoting full attention to the person. It's disrespectful.
You would think that two people who were interested in each other would WANT to talk to each other. There is nothing like the sound of a person's unique voice.

Kids who won't answer the phone but will respond to a text are brats.

People who grew up texting become almost autistic. They are afraid to actually talk to others and they don't even know how. They haven't learned the ability to read body language or tones of voice. That's why we see question on GAG like "He said hi to me and smiled. What does that mean?"

Regarding misunderstandings, it's obvious. You have to be very clear when communicating in print. You can't hear voice inflections. You can't tell if a person's voice is cheerful, tender, or if they joking or being sarcastic.

serious · Accepted Answer

Well, texting indeed is one of good ways of communicating with the other. I mean especially if meeting in person is not possible on regular basis. As long as the person has the ability to use the right words in the right context then misunderstandings shouldn't happen. If the person knows how to explain things by texting and also assure the other properly then chances of misunderstanding arising out of texting should be very less.

It also depends on the person, some people prefer texting more as compared to calling or meeting in person and some people prefer meeting in person or calling as compared to texting.

What I said above is for people who prefer texting as the main mode of communication. In that case they have to be very careful with using the right words, use proper language and also be detailed in explaining things. I am also a person who prefers texting and I never mind people texting me also.

However, that being said the only drawback I see in texting is it requires more effort to think about the choice of words to use, to form the sentence, giving detailed texts requires even more thinking and effort and then type it out as compared to other modes of communication.

If texting is used properly then it can never cause any misunderstandings. At least I believe so.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here and side with people that prefer texting or messaging.

For some people they're able to relay their thoughts and feelings easier through words rather than verbally. I know because I'm one of those people!

I'm terrible at expressing feelings or talking to someone over the phone: I prefer typing out my thoughts to make sure it sounds right, I don't stutter or fumble, or forget to tell them something.

Most of you that are introverts, socially awkward, or just like to think before you speak probably understand where I'm coming from-

Yes, I know texts don't convey emotions of moods. Which is one of the main downfalls with texting, and why I tell people don't ask out, or break up with someone over text or messenger (not to mention it's rude and lazy).

Nonetheless, I get what you're saying: texting can definitely cause miscommunication in relationships. That's why people need to learn how to communicate verbally as well!

For example, if you have a problem with your partner, send them a message saying, "Can we talk on the phone or in person later?" That gives you time to think about what you want to say, cool off if you're upset... etc.
Then talk. Listen. Repeat until you both express your feelings and thoughts.

Yeah it's that simple. We just complicate things.

CurlyGirl42 · Accepted Answer

I guess people get used to it now a days, and maybe it seems like an easier option bringing up some conflicts/tell something difficult, when you are not face to face. I also think it is a mistake, and personally I do not feel that connected via text and even if I get a nice message I would just wish it was something they would tell me in person instead xD.
I always try to keep things on text casual and for planning, and do the serious and deeper conversations face to face, or call if that is not an option. But many I have dated have been acting different and I had issues because of that.

coachTanthony · Answer

Most times people are just lazy. Communication in general has gotten lazy.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

It might vary from person to person because I’ve met people who had amazing text message ability and people with decent text ability and also people with horrible texting skills. I don’t mind maintaining a friendship or romantic connection through text id the person has a noticeable voice in their dialogues or at least is interested in what I say when they do not have their own ideas to chip in.

razelove · Answer

Funny you ask as much in text... lol

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

It used to be that people would meet face to face to discuss everything. They would talk, and based off of the other person expressions, and posture, they would know how to react, and when to back off.

Today, people communicate via text, and because a person cannot see them, they tend to get a bit brave, and say things that they would never say to a persons face. They feel safe behind their text, and because of the words they use, they cause great confusion. You no longer can look at a person to understand what they mean; if that person has a very bad vocabulary, they can be severely misconstrued. Texting over all should be done in such a way, that there is no mistaking the meaning behind the text. What you text to your close friends, may have a different meaning to a close acquaintance. You have to be very careful of what you say; and how you say things to every person, since their background can give them a different perspective of what you mean.

People will always text, in spite of misunderstandings; they see text as a fast way to get a message sent; with very little actual interaction with a person. When you talk on a phone, you have to follow social cues; text does not follow those social cues.

mk200195 · Answer

Most people don’t realise that hearing another person’s voice can be beneficial to our well-being. With a text it’s basically nothing but data transfer - there is no transfer of emotion by way of tone, nuances, non-verbal cues etc. A text strips down communication to just 7% of our expression so no surprises that it leads to so much confusion and misunderstandings. 55% of expression comes from body language and 38% just from the sound of our voices alone. We are humans, not robots, and we crave the feeling of being heard and understood - which text doesn’t give us. When we hear a familiar voice in conversation our brains produce oxytocin which makes us feel truly connected to another person, and allows the build up of trust and security - and wellbeing. We don’t get this at all from text/email - you can’t build up a trusting relationship with a person (working or otherwise) from online comms - we are fooling ourselves if we think we can - oxytocin is absolutely key in true connections

crazyish · Answer

I'm really bad at deciphering what people mean through text. I over analyze everything. My brain is just wired that way. Most of the time when I assume, I'm usually wrong. So now I don't assume anything. I honestly get tired of trying to figure out what someone means or tired of asking for clarification. I just figure if they really need me to understand then they will explain more otherwise I ignore it lol.

I'd rather be face to face with people. The possibility to actually have in depth conversations!

JackSmy · Answer

I don't. I don't text her, I CALL her, to hear her voice, and laugh/giggle, when I suggest something for later, after work.
Texting is for simple, BS crap, like "by the way, picked up your dry cleaning clothes" or "yeah, got the right milk, and the other things. . ." on the way home.
Calling, talking, SPECIAL things: "What kind of wine do you want, with dinner, oh, and what are we having?" at the liquor store. . .
I know, most are LOL! But If I am thinking a Malbec, and she is thinking Fettuccine, with an Alfredo sauce, THAT won't work!! by the way, Chateau Ste Michelle, chardonnay, is WOW, with that!!

caligirl03 · Answer

It's funny, I was literally thinking about the downfall of communication just the other day. We used to consider a phone call pretty impersonal and would rather talk to people about important things face-to-face. Now, it's weird getting a phone call like omg who died haha otherwise why are you calling me. It's sad but true. People claim it's more convenient, but how convenient really is it if it's leading to drama? Until people become way more intentional in their communication with one another, this is just the way it will be, or who knows maybe we'll get to the point where even texting feels like too much of an effort for most people.

kannettava · Answer

I use texting as the main form of communication with everyone I know, because talking on the phone makes me insanely uncomfortable. I need time to nit-picking everything I'm saying and perfect each sentence, or I'll get anxiety. I don't have any time to adjust when talking on the phone.

BLMUSER · Answer

Back in the day, we used to write letters to each other. My grandmother said it wasn't uncommon to receive 20 letters in one week. She would dedicate several hours a day reading and writing letters. Most of those letters were at least 4 pages long. Then the phone came along and no one wanted to write letters anymore. The trouble with phone calls is oftentimes one person would do all the talking. Then emails came along and no one wanted to do phone calls anymore. Correspondents were just one or two sentences. Nothing like mail letters. Then texting came a long and no one wants to do emails anymore. Conversations consist of one or two words.

I wonder what's next?

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

It's so much easier to make a phone call then to text. I would rather spend hours on the phone talking then texting. I use texting for short communication. People like to hide behind their phones because it's easier then to face a person and communicate. I also think that majority of people like to find problems and have them in their lives. That's why when misunderstanding happen through texting they can get upset angry or whatever and like to have that conflict in their lives. I dont. I want to be clear and consise in my communication. If I dont understand something or want to be clear about what someone says I ask clarifying questions just to make sure I understand what the other person is saying.

Dyingwyobreed · Answer

Considering most either fall under one of the below listed categories and others not listed even while comunicating in person-
wishy washy, flakey at their best, distracted, mind gamer, or really prefer not to be observant avoiding accountability.

Its no surprise text is still a main form of communication in turbulant relationships.

The_Maphio · Answer

Facing off with people is difficult for somebody who's not used to it. The type of disastrous grammars I can read in leaked messages all over the internet would also sound extremely sillier if spoken out.
Personal interaction requires a modicum of personality, as well. Stuff that's severely lacking in today's youngsters.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I can't agree more. No one is teaching them, for many this is the normal way to communicate, they didn't learn to express their feelings more "lol" "omg" "wyd" and hashtags, many think it's silly to accuse phones and bad parenting but now knows nor undestand how serious it is. I know people who does that and they don't get it while they are going in their 6th relatinship after they got dumped as they say "for no reason"

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Because some people love the emotional roller-coaster when their words are taken out of context. A text message doesn't imply the same context as talking to the person. I text only to setup meetings or answer simple questions. I've found that its a waste of time typing and waiting when i can use my voice and talk.

NyceGuyFinishingLast · Answer

People are afraid of the communication in real time or they feel a phone call would interrupt what they are doing like watching TV or watching a movie. It gives people time to think of a response instead of being put on the spot. In my case it is because I talk on the phone for 8 hours a day and the last thing I want to do is jump on the phone and talk some more after I clock out.

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

Because some y'all don't know when to shut up.
You be like okay gotta go.
Them: ok, oh by the way blah, blah, blah.
Me: seriously i need to leave.
Them: okay, talk to you, oh yeah seriously did you see blah, blah blah.
Me: heffa i said i gots to go. I mean damn😡 *click*

Text if ya can't shut up, i can ignore until I'm ready to respond and we can pick up later

msbrightness · Answer

Very, very good question.
I do mostly so neighbours/those around cannot snoop in on the conversation - to keep it private - but then they do snoop in, as does someone on the other end, so it is no more private than voice.

Most relationships are broken up by some greedy a-hole ruining them on purpose - if you can sit and talk in a car, all sim cards in the boot (also the car SiMs, mine has one that can't be removed) - you could get to a 'safe' conversation between the two people.

Why do they do it. Mostly the ugly ones simply wanting those hotter to just fuck and never be connected/happy - it would invalidate their Talibanism/Middle Easternism/Indianism

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I agree with you that is why I don't use text messaging much
cause all I get is one or two words and this girl lives clear
on the West Coast and I'm on the East Coast so it's far
I don't know how we would ever get together someone
would have to relocate and it would be an issue for me
I'm use to my Pennsylvania grassroots plus the cost of
living in California is high

Luvme66 · Answer

Texting has causes me unnecessary problems... because it's like when am typing something I can't read what they just said... and I might accuse them for missing out an important detail or vice verse... but the detail just came in when I was typing or video versa😂😂

JSmuve · Answer

Because people find it easier to have the "conversation" at their own pace while doing other things instead of taking the time to sit down and actually converse. Plus, lots of people don't like talking on the phone because you can't see the other person and awkward silences get magnified for socially anxious people. Basically, texting is a crutch for anxious people with undeveloped social skills.

Chris_u006 · Answer

Scared of conflicts and confrontation if you screw up or say something idiotic.

For example, It's just wrong to break up in text or in a phonecall. I still think that, even more today because all of my past relationships ended that way, not only becaus of distance and after last time we sa eachother weird enough.
Sure it may take time to decide, but it shouldn't take up to 18 months.

IAMNathanael · Answer

I think because talking over the phone or face to face you have to actually stand and listen. Whereas with text you can take your time and use less effort. Unfortunately, lots of connotation behind your words gets lost that way.

Interstate · Answer

What is important is to keep a clear open mind. Don't read into anything too much to the extent of overreacting to anything. If you come across a sentence or phrase you cannot make clear of, go back to the beginning of the sentence and read it again more slowly to let it sink in. If you still can't make sense of it, ask the sender to elaborate on what they are saying. Just say that you couldn't make clear of what they were implying, and need them to clear up the confusion. Don't make assumptions and turn messages into what they aren't.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Since I'm a super slow texter, I can't really say... sure I text, but it might take me a few days to actually get back to anyone.

I also thinks it is impersonal to text someone happy birthday rather than calling them.

I have a auto reply setup on my phone for texts, that says "I'll get back to you eventually, if its important or you want a fast result, call me."

I also turned off notification for texts, no beep, no nothing... makes life easier knowing if it was important they'd call.

TurkishGirl_ · Answer

When talking face-to-face or on the phone, you need to give that person all of your time and attention. However, while writing a message, you may be interested in other things. Unfortunately, people tend to choose the effortless one.

Anonymous · Answer

That's exactly why some people prefer texting. They can make the conversation what they want it to be instead of what it really is. I've seen 'friends' have a falling-out over a text conversation, and they both saw the conversation as completely innocent on their end, but overtly combative on the other end. But they didn't really like each other anyway, so it was really just a way for them to both play the victim and make the other the bad guy.

Citizenkirk · Answer

You can't hear the sarcasm dripping from their voice or see them rolling their eyes like you in the video chat, when they're trying to come across as sincere in whatever B. S. they are laying on you, and you don't have to schedule your restroom activities around your conversation with someone, for obvious reasons?

GordonT · Answer

Have you ever considered actually talking to the other person and coming to a mutually agreeable texting policy? Like you get to tell them how you feel about it, they tell you how they feel about it, and then you come to an agreement you both can live with?

And yes, being they you are the one behaving outside of the expected norm, it is on you to initiate this conversation.

etexbearkat · Answer

With my best friend, our main form of communication is through Facebook Messenger. We rarely call or do FaceTimes or even video chats on Messenger. Hopefully, we'll be doing more FaceTimes in the future. I live a long way from her, and have plans of seeing her again, but I have no idea when that will be now.

humanearth · Answer

My answer is throw cellphone out the window and get one of these

KatherineJ · Answer

I think because we are “too busy” to actually use the phone for it’s intended purpose. I limit my texts for that very reason. Too many chances to have a text that I send to not be interpreted as I intend when writing it.

ODC2112 · Answer

1) People can't write correctly.
2) People can't read correctly. They usually read a part of the message, only what they want or what is convenient for them to read.
3) Texting takes away the emotional part of the communication making it more acceptable.

ToastyOats · Answer

I got dumped for sharing this with a young lady. It's a split from a single photo. She returned my necklace with a bag of her dogs crap to my doorstep and told me I was the asshole. Self revelation is running shallow on the feminine side of life these days!

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Well it's better than nothing 😄
Anyways the worst thing about typing is that i can't receive some real muffins and miss brains can eat a broasted chicken and tell me that she's innocent and ate only green peas 😤

loves2learn · Answer

Because people don’t know how to communicate properly in person anymore.

purplepoppy · Answer

If texting is your main method of communication then you don't have a relationship

Floppy2112 · Answer

We’re old fashioned, honey. I prefer a phone call too. Text is just quick info, in my opinion... with all the communication devices we have, it seems we have gotten worse at communicating.

bulletbob555 · Answer

I know you've seen it that texting is a wonderful way to misunderstand what someone is trying to say. I so agree. I do find texting to be good way to tell someone something without going into the time and effort of calling or going to see the person. On the other hand it doesn't give us the body language and tone to truly understand what the person is trying to say

ohshee · Answer

I can only speak for myself it's because smoke signals are getting confusing by the way I speak just like on here I use voice texting well using Voice smoke signaling and no punctuation my messages are just getting way too confusing

Biancam13 · Answer

I really hate texting guys, even my boyfriend- unless the conversation is either funny, interesting, lovey dovey or to make plans. This is why I hate the talking stage 😂 it’s so boring until you get comfortable enough to say anything u want

JosyJosy · Answer

Comfort... I wonder why when they don't understand they don't just ask their SO but ask us here instead XD

spartan55 · Answer

Ugh, I think this whole community knows how I feel about texting...👎👎

1stranger · Answer

I agree with what you say but I can express what I think more easily with texts.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

It's convenient and better than not interacting when we can't see the other person.

And we can sometimes get the emotions through text, but still, it have a big risk in communicating the wrong message

FlySwimmer · Answer

Because it is easy and you can clarify misinterpretations

loveslongnails · Answer

Because they're too lazy to communicate in a meaningful way, and if YOU misunderstand, it's not MY fault.

Jjpayne · Answer

Texting is but one form of communication and it's what we are all doing here 😅 however it's a form and not the best form yet a form that can be used along with talking and being in person

DJB72 · Answer

Texting isn't communication any more than gossip is conversation.

exitseven · Answer

Because it is lazy and because everyone else is doing it.  I

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Efficiency and convenience. (Though I don't disagree with what you said. I'm just stating the reasons why people do it.)

blondfrog · Answer

I agree 100%. Makes no sense to me. They clearly don't like each other enough to call each other if that's the case.

Pterodon · Answer

Because the young cannot communicate face to face or with the phone. They cannot handle other’s emotions

Wiredone · Answer

I never understood that either. I prefer to call my partner and talk on the phone. So many things could be misinterpreted through text

krin_m · Answer

I prefer face-to-face conversation and if that is not possible I like to call. I use any form of electronic communication for business purposes or on sites like this.

karaspara · Answer

Such a great question I would love to know myself far rather talk personally

Leavesbound · Answer

Don't know. I've never sent nor read a text in my life. I don't see any advantage for it over talking on the phone or sending emails.

Anonymous · Answer

Totally agree. Text is so short and prone for miscommunication, is amazing the content people convey using them.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Lazy and afraid. I prefer a conversation the old fashioned away over the phone or in person.

msc545 · Answer

I'm not sure but it has caused me some serious problems.

If Texting Causes So Many Misunderstandings, Why Do Some People Still Use That As The Main Form Of Communication In Their Relationships?

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Texting can mean so many things. How can this be taken the wrong way?

If Texting Causes So Many Misunderstandings, Why Do Some People Still Use That As The Main Form Of Communication In Their Relationships?

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Texting can mean so many things. How can this be taken the wrong way?

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