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How Many Failed Relationships Does One Have To Have Before They Realize "They" Might Be The Issue? (Page 2)
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two things can help knowing if you are the problem,
1. the number of failed relationships ( when you have 3 or more failed relationships then move to point 2 to confirm if it's u)
2. the reasons why they failed ( did all of them ended because of the same reason? was it always them who wanted to break up with u? e. g if the reason was always trust issues from your side then it definitely u )
Exactly! If someone lies or cheats in every relationship it's on them...
If someone physically abuses every person, it's them.
If you fail in all your relationships not just your romantic ones, it's you
No not me , 🤣 jk... For some reason that "its you" sounded personal lol
So did "from your side"🤣
😎😏😛😂
Oh actually as i said before emojis help 😂
Sometimes not always
Again? 🙄🤔🤔🤔
😝😝
hmm.. That is a tough one.
My failed relationships (and there were a few) fortunately have been in the distant past and after the initial pain and anger was over, i took an honest stick of my shortcomings and reached to my ex's. Not with the intention of getting back together but acknowledging my issues. I'm glad to stay that I have stayed good friends with all of them except one (that one is a different story of course)!
That's good
Maybe back in the day, one could say oneself is the issue. But in today's world, it seems like toxicity and immaturity are everywhere. It's kind of what's out there. So if one keeps meeting people who are toxic it isn't him/her. It's the other person.
It seems to me it would be the same thing if someone lived in Japan and the person complained that all he/she meets are Japanese people. It's not that person subconsciously attracts Japanese people - it's just what's out there.
That's true
It depends on what he says about those relationships
from my experience, guys who like calling all their exes “crazy” tend to be the problem. Guys who always blame their exes are usually in denial that they were part of the problem too
Very true and same for women that blame the man soley...
Depending on how highly they think of themselves, they might even never learn the lesson.
It all depends on personality, lack thereof and education/culture of appartenence.
In these days and age I can see a certain side of the political spectrum ending up alone forever because of this very notion.
When we have to ask this question, you know it's Too many
Yet people don't ask it... Or not enough
Only the ones who observe
True true
I think after every relationship ends each person should take some time to self-reflect and ask themselves how they contributed to the relationship ending
True true👍
Say for example you are getting consistently dumped by multiple partners. I think at that point would be a good time to look into yourself and see what's the problem.
Exactly
Some may never learn from their "mistakes", while for faster learners it may only take one or two. Many people, however, tend to repeat their mistakes, because they aren't aware that : A. THEIR attitudes and actions could be the problem B. They have the ability to FIX their problem C. Left alone, things SELDOM get better
Couples can benefit from the objective point-of-view of a therapist/counselor.
Most people tend to have very few partners over their lifetime so that would be a poor metric.
There is also that one person's toxic can often be another's compassionate, do to preference differences, so its a very grey area.
You could be the worst SO ever for one person, but perfect for another.
Nsny Never realize it, and with there being so many variables in a relationship, it’s rarely just one thing anyway.
True true
That's a really good question. I would think after 3 failed relationships they would start to rethink their strategy and look at themselves and their additude.
You would think so 🤷🏼♀️
It's only common sense but the younger generation lacks that.
Right again lol
Looking back I can see that I was tough to live with. I never let anyone in. I was not ready to trust anyone. I was angry and sullen. It wasn't until that changed that I could have a sustainable relationship.
But that would require looking in the mirror. It’s easier to put the blame on someone else, rather than self reflection.
So true!
@Brainsbeforebeauty we all have flaws, whether we choose to identify and correct them or not.
Again very true!
Beats me. My biggest complaint about dating is the other person seems to just up and leave vs not communicating something i could be doing wrong that could probably be fixed easily.
That should be the first action I agree... Yet to discuss the issues and try to work them out... But then if someone refuses to work on the issues, then sometimes there's no choice but to leave
Maybe I'm selling myself short by not arguing about it and just letting them go. My other issue is since I meet all my girls online is a lot of them don't ever intend on going on a date, but they'll continue to humor my text messages. I did call one out on it last night and said I was going to move onto someone else since I haven't been able to schedule a date. She responds with have a good one, sorry it didn't work out!! Her response pretty much proves my point of she was wasting my time. I'm going to text her that today actually. Trying something different here vs just letting them go. at least I can ruffle a few feathers. Lol
I agree, sometimes the partner with the issues what usually ends up doing the dumping becomes passive aggressive and instead of directly communicating the issues or talking to their partner they leave when another blow up happens
Failed relationships aren't just one person's fault. A relationship only works if both people are working to make the relationship to work. I dont believe 1 person is at fault for a relationship failing. It takes 2 to make or break a relationship.
For the most part, I would agree... But not in every case...
How so?
If someone is a chronic cheater in every relationship?
Someone who's a narcissist
Abusive people
True. Someone who's a chronic cheater, isn't satisfied with what they are getting or they enjoy the thrill cheating gives them. Abusive people are that way for a reason and a lot of times they dont realize consciencely that they are that way because it's been ingrained into their subconscious
I've had five failed relationships none leading to marriage and at this point I am assuming I have a neurological condition known as DPD (Defective Personality Disorder). Or I might be autistic.
Not a single one, the lack of ability of even getting into a relationship should be a sign on itself. The longer relationships you have the less you will need to blame yourself. Assuming the goal is to have a long lasting relationship.
There is no set number because most people who continually fail at relationships either give up at a point where they've lost count, or keep going because "it's just not my fault... this time".
Or never is too those people lol it's always someone else lol
I've been trying with my current ex so far at least 9 times now
@Unicorn_lover_2002 whaaat? I don't know what you're trying with your ex, but 9 times is overkill. Give it up. LOL
Depends on the person, I suppose.
Once is a mistake, second is a fuckup, third is a pattern... and so on. Some people take longer than others to get to the gist of the matter.